Shoestring (1979) s01e07 Episode Script

1 What I want to ask is if the physical violence is so serious, surely the police should deal with it? - Molly.
- Not in England, they don't.
You can be fined for kicking a dog in the street but nobody cares, least of all the law, if a man kicks his wife round the house after supper.
Be that as it may Never mind as it may, as it damn well isl Molly's right, you know, there aren't any safeguards.
Paul's got his hands full this morning.
Hmm That's Molly Tasker, the battered wives lady.
Yeah.
Mrs Proudfoot, it's pride we're talking about.
Or maybe your name should be Knees-Bent-To-All-Men.
I simply mean you might be helping to create marital break-ups.
I hope someone's got their finger on the cut-out switch.
Mrs Proudfoot, I bet you're one of those listeners who goes around saying, "There's never a cross word in our house.
" Well, good luck to you! And you're welcome to come to our house and see what happens to less fortunate women in the name of marriage.
Black eyes, split lips, broken arms and frightened kids.
A grim picture indeed, but let's lighten it for a moment with a little music.
Lighten it? There's no point in being good-natured and lighthearted about it, Paul.
I assure you, I wasn't trying to dodge the issues, Molly.
Sympathy and understanding are what's needed most.
And money, official and otherwise.
Come on, Molly, we asked you on this programme to discuss a social problem.
And you want to play music? Radio West is being patronising to battered wives, just like the rest of them.
I mean, take your Eddie Shoestring.
Three times in the past fortnight one of our wives has phoned in to ask for help.
And has he contacted them? Oh, no.
Not likely.
Not a word.
I expect he's too busy for one of our cases.
She leaves the same message every time.
Could I make some inquiries about her husband? You don't have to confront the husband.
I wasn't thinking about him.
I was thinking about the risk I'd run at the hostel.
Is anyone home? Excuse me, is there a password? Oh, Janie, come on.
Wait a minute! Come on! Hello, I wonder if you could help Hello.
I'm looking for a lady called Mrs Craig.
What do you want? I'm visiting one of the residents.
Keep away from those children.
Look, I did ring.
And I tried the letter box.
But I got the uneasy feeling that someone might poke my eye out with a broom handle.
- Depends if you want to cause trouble.
- I wouldn't dare.
You are not a particularly sociable lot around here.
Who are you? Well, I'm not one of the husbands.
I'm putty in most women's hands.
I want to see Mrs Craig.
My name is Eddie Shoestring.
It's about time.
So, you'd be Molly Tasker? I admire the work you do.
Yes, well, stay where you are.
We don't trust men.
Who does your plumbing? We used to have a garden of our own until Jackie sold the house to pay for his gambling and his drinking.
Then we had a stinking, rented hovel.
That's when he started hitting me.
Billy was scared out of his wee mind, so I came here.
And what happened to your husband? Climbed right back into the bottle.
Went off odd-jobbing.
Then he found out where we were, so he came round hammering on the door, trying to get us back, eyes full of tears.
But Molly kept the door locked.
Then he did some damage, so we called the police.
He disappeared after that.
So, now you want me to find him? Find him? No.
- I know where he is, all right.
- You do? Sure I do.
I thought you just told me he disappeared.
Aye, but he turned up again two weeks ago.
Billy, will you stop that? Or you'll get such a leathering! So, what's your problem? What do you want me to do? He turned up in a river.
Drowned.
You don't need to offer any sympathy, he was drunk as usual.
Must have fallen in.
Anyway, he never could swim, Jackie.
And with the drink he had in him, he'd had it.
Accidental, they said at the inquest.
I don't understand.
If your husband's dead, why do you want to see me? Because of his belongings the police gave me in a plastic bag.
He had 30 quid in his pocket, for a start.
And as for his blazer What about his blazer? Mr Shoestring, Jackie was a layabout and mostly drew the dole.
That blazer was hand-tailored, it had a red silk lining and his initials JC embroidered on the inside.
He had a gold medallion round his neck, with his initials on that, too.
Now, look, Billy, I told you to stop that! Well, perhaps your husband got himself a decent job.
That'd be a miracle.
Anyway, the police couldn't trace where he'd been living.
So, he must have got the money somehow.
Possible, on the horses or something.
And that's why you've called me in? Jackie never paid us any maintenance.
We need everything we can get.
So if there is anything, will you help? I'll try.
You'd better let me have the blazer and medallion.
That's a bit difficult.
Molly pledged them both.
She had the blazer dry-cleaned.
Well, perhaps you could give me the name of the pawnbroker.
Yeah, I wondered why you didn't drop in.
You were expecting me? Well, I keep hearing you on Radio West.
"One of these days," I said to meself, "word's bound to get to him in the trade.
" - Trade? - Well, you know, your line of work.
A lot of my best customers are private inquiry agents.
Here, just a tick.
Forty-two chest, are you? - Yeah.
- Here, try this on.
- It's a beauty.
- Oh, no.
It belonged to a band leader, I believe.
No, thanks very much but I never wear dinner jackets.
Oh, that's all right.
Just take your jacket off.
Come on, don't be shy.
You've got nothing to lose, have you? Actually, it's a blazer I'm looking for.
A blue blazer.
Here you are.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, fits you like a glove.
Twelve quid to you, Eddie boy.
- I could get double.
- Yeah, I'm sure you could.
Do you know Molly Tasker? Oh, yeah, she's often in here.
Well, I try to do what I can for these poor women.
Going to take it? - Oh, no.
No, uh, some other time, maybe.
- Ah.
A blazer you were talking about.
Yeah.
A blue, tailor-made blazer with a red silk lining.
Molly brought it in, she also pledged a gold medallion.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Wait a minute.
There we are.
Here, 22 carat gold.
Nice design, look.
St Christopher.
On the back, initials JC.
How much is it worth? Oh, now Oh, come on, just between ourselves, your trade and mine.
Well Fifty, sixty quid? Oh, I was happy to give Molly ten for it.
Do you think I could borrow it? - No.
- I'll give you a deposit.
No, no.
No, that would break the pledging rules.
I can't let it go 'till it's passed the redeeming date, you see.
Well, can I see the blazer, then? Gone.
Sold it.
- What about the rules? - Brought in second-hand.
Not pledged.
I sold the blazer to an actor I know.
He had a rather special interview.
Is it a big production? Bigger than most.
I heard it's all on location in Cornwall.
Yeah? Sounds great.
That big, is it? Sixty seconds, fully networked, I expect.
Sixty seconds? Don't you know? It's Peter Durbin, just back from directing in Hollywood, doing one of his famous drinks commercials.
Whoever get it plays a chap who goes up in a balloon with a girl and a crate of champagne.
Ah, I see you're dressed for the part.
When ballooning, every cloud has a silver lining.
Every blazer a red Don't move.
I'll get it for you.
It's a money spider.
Bring you luck.
You'll probably get the part.
I wish I had a blazer like yours.
Hand-tailored, is it? Yes, I think it is.
Who is your tailor? Just a little man of my acquaintance.
He didn't line it with red silk, did he? How did you know that? I know your tailor.
Mr Ernie Tailor.
Look I'll tell you what, how would you like your pocket lined with, say, a fiver? Just for a quick look? At the label.
Thank you very much.
Well so far, Maggie, darling, it's slightly less than amazing.
- It's not my fault, Peter.
- Hold it, hold it.
Hey Hey, why haven't we seen this one before? - You would have done if you - You're absolutely perfect.
Like a young Robert Donat.
Oh, no.
No, no.
Sorry, I can't stand heights.
That's the man you want, over there.
Pops a champagne cork better than any other actor alive.
Also, he doubled for David Niven in Around the World in Eighty Days.
Good afternoon, sir.
- Good afternoon.
- I'll be with you in a moment.
Right.
Thank you.
Now, what can I do for you, sir? I would like to speak to either Mr Carruthers or Mr Montrose.
I am Mr Carruthers and also Mr Montrose.
- Sorry? - No, no, no, actually I am Mr Chatterji.
But I'm calling myself Carruthers & Montrose.
- Now, what can I do for you, Mr - Shoestring.
You're calling yourself Shoestring? Yeah, it's a truly old, established name.
And you're looking for a truly English gentleman suit.
Oh, no.
No, no.
You made a blue serge blazer for a client with a red silk lining.
We are making lots of blazers with fine Madras silk linings.
Yeah, this one would have been about six months ago.
I saw your label and the initials JC.
JC.
Ah, yes.
You are a friend? No, not really.
You see, the man you fitted with that blazer has drowned.
Drowned? How terrible.
- When? - A fortnight ago.
That's impossible.
I heard him only yesterday.
- Heard him? - Talking to his wife on the radio.
JC, Jack Craig? Ah, now, there is a misunderstanding.
We are meaning JC for Jimmy Colefax, the round-the-world yachtsman.
He is the one I made the blazer for.
Yes, it's gone.
No question about it being my husband's blazer.
I wouldn't have thought to check the wardrobe with him being away.
And the medallion? Oh, I knew I'd lost that.
I was very upset about it.
It was Jimmy's.
He gave it to me just before he sailed.
I thought the chain had broken and it would turn up.
- Excuse me.
Thank you.
- Oh, it was a pleasure.
How dreadful about Jackie Craig.
Not him stealing, but drowning.
It seems he fell in the river.
He was blind drunk.
Yes, I knew he liked his drink.
He used to help himself while he was working for me.
Not that that matters.
Where was he found? In the River Danby.
Ah, yes.
He mentioned he was going over that way to do some jobs.
Come on in.
I could use a drink myself.
How long did you employ Craig? On and off for about a month.
He built some shelves at the shop.
Then there were one or two chores here.
Jimmy's no good at maintenance except aboard a boat.
Thank you.
It never occurred to me that the odd-job man had the same initials as my husband.
Must have given him itchy fingers.
Well, I don't suppose you want the blazer back.
No.
Well, that's just as well.
Because it's gone off on a rather curious journey of its own.
But the medallion is worth a bit.
I'd like to recover that.
Well, if you get in touch with the police they'll get it back for you.
It's with a pawnbroker, Ernie Tailor in the Priestley Road.
Funny we haven't met before.
I go into Radio West a couple of times a week.
That's right.
To do the link-up chats with your husband.
Yeah.
Little Apple, isn't it? The name of his boat.
Yes.
It's also the name of the children's boutique I own.
Tell me, what I want to know is did he really build this yacht himself? Yes, it took him a year.
But if he completes the voyage, he'll be the first person to do it in a self-made boat.
That really is quite a first.
Bloody stupid stealing from somebody you're working for.
Yeah, it isn't very tactful.
Mrs Colefax wasn't too upset about it, though.
Colefax? Yeah, she runs a children's shop.
Heard Jack did some odd-jobbing there.
Her husband's away sailing round the world, isn't he? She talks to him on Radio West.
- Yeah, that's who it is.
- Yeah.
Well, now you know the truth and I've finished peeling these spuds.
Almost forgot.
I got these.
For young William.
Try and get these in stock room for me, Tanya.
- There's not much room.
- OK.
Thank you.
Can I help you? - Are you Mrs Colefax? - Yes.
She wants to talk about her husband.
I'm sorry? Couldn't we get rid of this racket? What is it you want? My husband, Jackie Craig, you said you knew him? - Who? - You said he stole things from you.
What? Hang on, hang on.
What do you think you're doing? Her husband, the man you accused of stealing Well Mrs Craig sees things differently.
How dare you walk into my shop and take over like this? I just want to get it straight.
I don't think I understand.
You told Mr Shoestring that Betty's husband stole from you.
Now prove it.
I don't have to prove anything! No? Well, Betty thinks he must he must have done a bit more than a few odd jobs for you.
Maybe you gave him the blazer and medallion you said he stole? Is that nearer the truth, Mrs Colefax? Look, I don't know what it is you're trying to imply exactly, but if you don't get out of here, I'll call the police.
And tell it to the papers? I know all about the value of publicity.
Oh, yes, I'm sure you do, Mrs Tasker.
Come in here.
She's not so dumb after all.
I've seen you on television.
I thought you were an intelligent woman.
Surely you don't believe there was something between Jack Craig and I? - Jackie had a way with them.
- Quite a few ways.
This is ridiculous.
I don't suppose your husband ever got rough with you, did he? The dashing yachtsman.
Like a bit of rough, do you? Why not? The husband's away on the high seas.
I've really have had enough of this.
You think you can buy anything, don't you? You don't know what life's about.
You run your smart little dress shop for your smart little kids.
Take your fun where you like.
Your husband was a thief, Mrs Craig.
I'm sorry.
- You can think what you like.
- I was wondering, Mrs Colefax, whether you'd care to give a donation to the hostel? You must be joking! You never know when you might need us.
Do you? How are you, Jimmy? Tired.
Very tired.
Not getting much sleep.
Even on this big rocking hammock of water.
The sea isn't choppy today, then? Well, it's flat calm at the moment.
I went through a nasty squall in the night.
Got a bit rough.
I had to stay up top I'm really sorry, Sam.
I'm sure Shoestring didn't do it intentionally.
Now, I'd really appreciate it if you told Mr Shoestring to cool it.
Show a little more restraint.
A little more finesse.
It's usually one of his qualities.
Part of his personality, you might say.
He opened his mouth, Don, and blabbed.
He blabbed to Molly Tasker.
As Jimmy Colefax's business manager, it's my job to keep Val happy as well.
- Of course.
- And you and I do enough deals together for you to want to keep me happy, too.
Get some sleep now.
And take care.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye, Jimmy.
That Tasker woman will do anything to get money for her hostel.
You should have been more discreet, Eddie.
I had no idea they'd go in for a spot of homely blackmail.
Apart from upsetting Val Colefax, I've got Sam Houseman round my neck.
Not Supertan Sam, the promotions man? He's got clout.
He handles a lot of big names.
Footballers, tennis player, golfers, pop stars, two of our own DJs.
What about the goldfish? You've got lots of coverage.
Yeah, I had all the licence then.
The Beeb, ITV.
Jimmy's got a remote camera on board.
We'll have a complete film of the voyage.
That's a big one.
Exclusive to the highest bidder.
A hero from day one.
Yeah, most people don't make it past Land's End.
That's right.
Takes a very special kind of person.
Jimmy Colefax is that person.
A PR man's dream.
Right face, right attitude and the right wife.
We'll make a bomb.
Newspapers, TV interviews and of course, the book.
Big World, Little Apple.
She gave me a good price on it.
So much for your pledge rules.
How much? Seventy quid.
Well, how could I resist? And after all, the medallion was hers.
Well, I couldn't refuse, could I? But I thought you'd be interested.
I mean, I'm always ready to oblige a private eye.
That's why I phoned you.
She could have got it for nothing by going to the police.
And I'd have got nothing and all.
So, Mrs Colefax bought it back this morning.
First customer she was.
It won't be long now.
I'm making excellent headway.
Everything is going to be fine.
Do you really think so? Of course, I wouldn't have taken it on otherwise.
When shall I see you again? - Tomorrow? - Ma'am, phone call.
Oh, right.
Tomorrow.
What? When? What did you do? It's all got something to do with this river.
Jack Craig was found in this river, wearing that blazer.
Val Colefax drives with a man to a mill house that's on this river.
They stay for an hour, then drive off again.
Who's the man? Dr Morris.
I got a look at an envelope in his car.
He lives in Stanbury Terrace.
And he's got quite a reputation.
Oh, do you know him? Well, not personally.
But about a year ago a woman was knocked down outside his very plush consulting rooms.
Her family claimed it was as a result of his treatment.
Bit of a dodgy doctor, is he? Well, as far as the police are concerned and the BMC, he's not a doctor at all.
Sort of medical fringe.
Hong Kong diploma.
But he does treat people? As a hypnotist.
Just keep watching the coin, Mr Shoestring.
Are you watching? Yes.
And do you see the coin moving backwards and forwards? Backwards and forwards.
Rather comforting, isn't it? Yes.
In fact, you feel completely comfortable now, don't you? Ever so slightly drowsy.
Yes.
Good.
These, um, anxiety problems.
Tell me in your own way.
Take your time.
In order to get on with people, I pretend that I'm a private detective.
So I can ask them questions.
Is that unusual? I can't say I've ever come across the condition before.
But if you hypnotise me, it might help.
Mr Shoestring, I have hypnotised you.
Hypnotism can help you stop smoking, get rid of depression, get people through driving tests.
If you're a performer, a musician or whatever, I can calm your nerves.
I doubt that I can do anything for delusions.
Oh.
Really? Oh, that is a pity.
Can I ask you questions? As many as you wish.
I got your name from Val Colefax.
Ah, yes? I was wondering Are you treating her? I'm afraid I can't answer all your questions, Mr Shoestring.
But you said I could ask as many as I liked.
And what are you treating her for? Is it anxiety, like me? You're not the kind of subject I can help.
I'm sorry, this session won't work.
Then why did you take her to the mill house yesterday? I fear you've lapsed into your delusion, Mr Shoestring.
Thank you, Paula.
The consultation is over.
Mr Shoestring was just leaving.
Is that all I get for my 25 quid? There's no charge when the patient proves unsuitable.
When do you think you'll get you'll get round the Cape? I don't know.
At this rate, never.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
But there hasn't been enough wind to blow out a candle.
- Thanks.
- What's the matter with our yachtsman? Sounds a bit gloomy.
If you were out there surrounded by empty ocean, you'd be glum sometimes.
Funny place to be when you're married.
Tell that to a sailor.
They're worse than golfers.
Keep your spirits up, darling.
Funny you should mention that.
I've just poured one.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Goodbye now.
God bless.
Bye.
And there for the moment, we end our link up with round- the- world yachtsman Jimmy Colefax.
Highlight later tonight, of course, is our own private detective, Eddie Shoestring.
Yes, while one man battles against the forces of nature What is it with you, Shoestring? First, you put two crazy women onto her, - now you're bugging her doctor.
- Her hypnotist, you mean? What is the story so far, Eddie? I thought Mrs Colefax might be in some sort of trouble.
You're the one that's in trouble, Shoestring.
- Dr Morris is one of my clients.
- Writing a book, is he? Oh, a regular funny man, aren't you? Shoestring, if your name comes up again, you and Radio West are through.
No more Val Colefax, no more link-ups.
She'd be breaking her contract, Don.
All contracts can be terminated, Eddie, including yours.
Val Colefax is under stress.
I put her onto Dr Morris.
He's a damn sight better than pills.
Satisfied? I'm sorry, Sam.
I'll speak to her personally next time she comes in.
Fine.
I mean, a lot of people use quack hypnotists.
Maybe he could cure my hypertension.
She was seeing him in a deserted mill house and there's a lot more if you're just prepared to listen.
No, I'm not.
It's her business, not ours.
Now, forget Mrs Colefax, right? - Mr Satchley.
- Yes, Sonia? There's a message for you from a CJ Daniels, a radio amateur.
- Oh, God no.
- It's to do with the yacht link-ups.
The signal directions.
Phone him and tell him we're sorry.
I'm too busy.
This CJ Daniels, where does he live? Quiet, Bobby.
Shut up! Get in there, get in there! Mrs Daniels, I'm Eddie Shoestring from Radio West.
I'm Miss Daniels.
I'm the sister, you see? Come in.
- I was just getting the lunch.
- Thank you.
We got CJ's message about the frequencies.
Yes, you're expected.
You can go straight upstairs.
- It's the small room facing you.
- Thank you.
Uh, would you mind taking up the lunch? Save my legs.
I'm Eddie Shoestring.
I've brought your lunch.
Oh, good.
Take a seat.
Put the tray down.
Fancy a beer? Feel free.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you very much.
C, Q, C, Q, C, Q This is Golf, Figure Three, Zulu, Zulu, Figure Three, X-ray.
Calling and listening on this frequency.
Hmm.
And answer came there none.
How do you do, Shoestring? I'm Cynthia Jasmine Daniels.
Everyone calls me CJ.
Right, CJ.
I gather you've got something important to tell us about the Colefax broadcasts? Yes.
I was adjusting my beam around the marine frequencies when I picked up signals from the Little Apple.
When he gave me his position, I thought, "Hello, my beam must be out.
" So I checked it against the shore station, nothing the matter with it.
So, Colefax must've given the wrong position.
So, where is he? Could you work it out? Well, not at first.
There was another funny thing.
Although he seemed to be coming from a great distance, I was picking him up on the ground wave.
What do you mean? If he'd been where he said he was, my beam would've been pointing south-southwest.
I'd have picked him up on the sky wave, bounced off the ionosphere, right? His signals were coming from the south.
So, where does that put Jimmy Colefax? Well, he's either in the Med or a few miles down the road.
I don't know, love.
Are you sure about all that? Mr Shoestring, dear, he had a readability of five, strength nine.
That, plus the direction Well, if you still think he's off Brazil, you must be nuts.
Thanks, CJ.
You've been a great help.
I think I've got an idea where that radio is.
Yes, that's his jacket.
And what about these? You know they're skeleton keys.
It's a wonder he didn't have a collapsible jemmy.
So, you knew he was a house breaker? Of course I might have known.
Well, why bring me in? You must have guessed he stole the blazer and the medallion.
You might have found out where he was living.
There could've been more things to sell.
Yeah, stolen things.
If you found his jacket at this mill house, how come Mrs Colefax said he stole the blazer from her house? Ah, now, that's a very good question.
You sound happier today.
I've got company.
You've got what? A dolphin.
He dives in front of the bar, then comes alongside to have a good look at it.
Well, they are good company.
I'm so glad you've cheered up, Jimmy.
I'm much better.
Couple of days and I'll be ready for the Horn.
Yes.
You're going to need all your reserve That radio ham was right.
I didn't think to check on it.
There was no reason to suspect anything, wasn't there? No.
He's been transmitting on a marine frequency relayed to us by the Wilburton radio mast.
Can you get a fix on him? Well, he can't be very far away.
Probably using lower power.
That would account for the distort.
It'll need a direction finder to pinpoint him.
Harry, you've got tapes of all the link-ups, right? - Right.
- Well, can you make some copies of some of them? You never know, there might be background noises or something.
Do you know what I'll do? I'll edit out his voice and try to analyse the bits in-between.
But don't blame me if all you get are seagulls.
Should we talk to him? He's been warned.
Jimmy sounded quite bright on the radio just now.
Never brighter.
Plucking up courage for the Horn.
Yeah, you were quite right, Mr Houseman, he really is a hero.
Can I get you another, Eddie? Oh, that's very kind of you.
No, thanks.
I'm on a case.
I heard your programme the other night.
You were quite a hero yourself.
With that debt collector in the wheel-less caravan.
Thank you.
So what's this, then? Jimmy Colefax leaving England, off on his voyage.
That's it.
I have to choose a print for one of Sam's promotions.
Well, this one is very interesting.
Man against the elements.
- Do you think so? - Yeah, it's got lots of detail.
I enjoy a plenty of detail, like a good, complicated case.
It's when things don't match up.
That's what intrigues me.
I have to make the details fit, make sense.
That's why I became a private detective, you know.
- Really? - Yeah, I used to think it was a character defect, until they straightened me out in analysis.
Now I put it to work.
You see, there's a detail that doesn't quite fit.
- Oh? - Yes, a lone yachtsman wearing a medallion as he's leaving, which is then stolen on land seven weeks later.
Odd, isn't it? I've rerecorded it to make it longer.
- It's a train, right? - Well, it's got to be, hasn't it? What about this, then? Play that again.
It's just a distant whine.
What time of day did you say this was recorded? 5:15 on the seventh.
Well, it just sounds like a child's spinning top.
All right, a spinning top.
Well, what else spins apart from tops? Uh, wheels - Circles.
- Circular saw.
Saw mill.
Got a railway, saw mill, water.
I think we need some more comedy.
It tends to be a bit heavy.
I'm sorry, Don.
I've got to speak to you now.
Eddie, it's a bad time.
There's a lot worse to come.
I'm telling you now, I'll believe this when I see it.
You'll see it.
But it was here.
Here? If this is some sort of a joke, you'll be fired.
Good.
Now sing it.
La Excellent.
The mantra will be your comfort, the key to your inner self.
Whenever you feel the need, you can either sing it or play it.
It will bring a sense of peace and contentment.
Now, play it once again.
It's half past, Doctor.
There we are, your very own mantra.
That will be all for this session, Mrs Wharf.
My nurse will see you out.
Yes.
Thank you so much, Doctor.
No, you can't go in there! I'm sorry to interrupt your deep meditation - He just passed straight past me! All right.
Clearly, Mr Shoestring wants to talk.
I thought perhaps you could help me find a missing yachtsman.
- A missing what? - You know what I'm talking about.
Jimmy Colefax.
You saw him at the mill house.
Short of hypnotising me, which is impossible, you'll get no information here, Shoestring.
Well, let me give you a few triggers.
That's what you call them, isn't it? A patient of yours committed suicide, your deportation from Denmark and one or two other unsavoury items, Dr Morris.
Been raking up the dirt, have you? Specialists always have their critics.
Well, you may or may not be a quack.
That doesn't matter.
People don't have to seek your help.
But do you want to be named as party to a public hoax? It's all right, Doctor.
I'll take responsibility for that.
I'm sure you will.
You ever faced death, Shoestring? I've had one or two hairy moments.
Yeah, it's all part of the job.
Mr Houseman's talking about bravery.
Bravery and fear.
Some people can face death and remain calm.
For others, it opens a cupboard in their minds full of dreadful horrors.
Well, in plain language, Jimmy cracked right down the seams.
He sailed back and hid the boat.
And you saw your deals going up in smoke.
That wasn't it.
It was Val's decision.
Jimmy Colefax needed treatment.
Dr Morris supplied it.
You gave him a course in courage? A chance worth taking.
Straighten him out, turn around the board, get him underway.
- Fraud.
- Why? If he finally makes it.
You mean, he's going to sea again? The only person who'll know that is Val.
She's due to link up with him.
You want to stop that broadcast? Jimmy, how are you, darling? I'm fine.
Another good day.
Slight nip in the air the further south I go.
Quite welcome, really.
Sea's beginning to get I'll need to get a triangulation.
Say, half a mile down the road.
Okay, let's do it.
- Okay, I'll get him now.
- He's got to be over there somewhere.
It's coming through pretty strong.
Yeah, I had a dream, Val.
Funny, really.
That I set out on this voyage from the place we used to walk to before we were married.
Remember? On the flats? Yes.
Uh, listen, I've I'd better sign off now.
- What? - Something's happened.
- What's wrong? - Uh - I've got to go up on deck.
- I see.
Sorry.
Eddie Shoestring, isn't it? How did you find me? A radio ham.
Your signal was coming from the wrong direction, so we got an expert to pinpoint you.
That was always the risk, somebody more interested in the signal than the message.
I suppose you might have got away with it.
It's much more peaceful here, though, isn't it? You know, the Chinese say that air and water have life.
A helpful sea is a good man, an angry sea is a bad man.
When I got past the Bay of Biscay, and that was bad enough, I hit three gales.
Big ones.
It didn't matter which way I tried to go, the bad man was waiting for me.
He was determined to get me, destroy me.
And then there was the ordinary old enemy.
Pure fear.
I stuck it out for 14 days then I turned the boat around.
Well, nobody would've blamed you for coming back.
Why didn't you just admit it on the radio? Self-deception.
Well, I kept telling myself I would turn back on course, I just needed to build my strength up.
Then the self-deception turned into plain deception.
The radio thing became my consuming interest, I I actually started to enjoy it.
At times, I thought I was off Brazil.
Do you see what I mean? I was actually being successful at something Till the sight of Land's End hit me.
England, reality.
Total failure.
Breakdown.
I know what you mean.
I've been there myself.
Can you still make a cup of tea? You never bloody give up, do you, Shoestring? What difference does it make to Radio West and all the sponsors - if he goes out again? - Well, it's a difference of about 8,OOO miles, for a start.
Jimmy's in good shape now, thanks to Dr Morris.
Now, give me a few weeks, and those broadcasts will be for real.
All he's asking you for is a chance.
Jimmy's done nobody any harm.
Well, except for a drowned odd-job man.
All right, all right.
He didn't work for me.
He went into the mill house and stole.
He was a burglar.
I didn't even get a good look at him.
When I arrived, he ran, taking half a bottle of scotch, my blazer and medallion.
I chased him down the mill race, but he disappeared.
I didn't know he'd fallen in.
I couldn't tell the truth about where he got the stolen things.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
Please, will you give my husband just this last chance? Val Colefax phoned me this morning.
Jimmy's on his way.
And where does that leave Radio West? Well, Don has had to scrap the whole thing, temporarily.
Oh, dear.
It's rather like that thriller about the astronauts that never even blasted off.
Yeah, they're going to say that they can't link up with Jimmy due to technical hitches.
But Don's done a deal with Houseman.
- Banana? - Mmm.
What sort of a deal? Well, they've promised that when Jimmy reaches the position he claims he was at, which is round about Cape Horn, Radio West will resume the broadcast, provided he tells the truth and sails on as a kind of flawed hero.
Which is a bit like having your cake and slicing it any way you want, isn't it? Golf, Figure Three, Zulu, Zulu, Figure Three, X-Ray.
This is Joker, Figure Nine, Apple, Apple, Figure Five, Five calling.
This is Golf, Figure Three, Zulu, Zulu, Figure Three, X-Ray.
Got you.
Go ahead.
Jimmy? How marvellous to hear your voice.
Everything okay, is it? Absolutelyl How about your end? No problems.
It's great to know you're okay.
Are you making up for lost time? Certainly doing that, old love.
Pushing along at six knots right now.
It's as if the Apple's found a new lease of life.
Fizzing like bloody cider.
Great, Jimmy.
I'm glad to hear it.
Funny thing is the sea's helping me, carrying me along like we're old mates.
That's got to be a good omen, eh? If Radio West could hear me now.
Well, that was definitely out of sight.
Well, it would be, wouldn't it? 'Cause this is the wireless, and none of the half dozen or so out of you out there can actually see what I am doing.
I hope.
Well, now, it's coming up to 5:30.
In fact, it's 30 seconds past 5:30, and time for the news headlines.
Well, here's a really astounding news flash that means a lot to us here at Radio West.
Reports are just coming in that Little Apple, the self- constructed yacht of round- the- world sailor Jimmy Colefax, has been sighted drifting and apparently abandoned in the Atlantic.
The yacht was seen by an RAF coastal patrol only 150 miles south of the Lizard.
The plane flew several times over the yacht and dropped marker flares to try and attract attention, but there was no sign of anyone aboard.
I should never have let him go.
We all agreed.
At the time it was right.
If he hadn't sailed, he could never have faced the world.
That's a pretty stupid thing to say, since he obviously decided not to, anyway.
I don't know.
He found a sort of courage.
But courage nevertheless, if he threw himself overboard.
We'll never know for sure.
A memorial service is not a funeral.
No body, no ending.