Smash s01e07 Episode Script

The Workshop

Previously, on Smash Mom.
They want me to play Marilyn Monroe.
I'm just pretending to be brave.
I'm scared to death.
I need to stop sleeping with men who are complete narcissistic pricks! Okay.
This workshop goes up in front of an audience in a week.
No one is gonna buy it.
You're making a fool of yourself.
Bobby Raskin was there? He's big.
He's like, Tommy Mottola.
I have to see you.
Smash s01 ep07 - the workshop - You look good today.
- You too.
You giving my actors notes? I changed a lyric without asking.
Were they any good? Pretty good.
Okay, so, what's this new lyric? I'll go get it.
Is it hot in here? It's really hot in here! I actually just overheard the building manager talking.
He said there's a problem with the boiler.
- Okay, I'll go talk to him.
- It's ridiculously hot.
We've got investors coming in tomorrow! You're late.
I know, sorry.
The train.
Are you Mr.
Raskin? I guess not.
Let's get this over with.
- Yo, stop, stop.
- Sorry.
Trying to blow out my speakers? I'm really more of a stage performer.
Back up from the mic.
Stop me on the corner I swear you hit me like a vision I-I-I wasn't expecting but who am I to tell fate where it's supposed to go with it don't you blink, you might miss it see, we got a right to just love it or leave it you find it and keep it 'cause it ain't every day you get the chance to say oh, this is how it starts lightning strikes the heart it goes off like a gun brighter than the sun oh, we could be the stars falling from the sky shining how we want brighter than the sun everything is like a whiteout 'cause we shook-a shook-a shine down even when the When the light's out but I can see you glow got my head up in the rafters got me happy ever after never felt this way before ain't felt this way before oh, this is how it starts lightning strikes the heart it goes off like a gun brighter than the sun oh, this is how it starts lightning strikes the heart it goes off like a gun brighter than the sun - That was beautiful.
- Thanks.
I think I love you.
Let go of me.
I have this other lyric I needed to talk to you about.
Julia.
Derek has some questions about the breakup scene.
Did Ivy get here? Still hunting her down, but he doesn't want to wait.
They're looking for you both.
Look, I talked with you about this, two hours ago.
I called the plumber as soon as you spoke to me.
And yet we still have a problem with the heat? What can I say? It's New York.
Those guys They're on their own schedule.
Perhaps you could call again.
I have an extremely important workshop happening in 24 hours.
I would be happy to do that.
It's just they got contracts on a lot of buildings.
They can't always get the guys over here right away! - Where's Arthur Miller? - Back here.
I'm gonna need to change your entrance.
Guys.
- So, how'd it go? - Pretty good.
A little weird.
The studio was, like, state of the art.
I've never seen anything like it before.
Where were you? Cutting a demo for Bobby Raskin.
- Shut up.
- My God.
They they want me back.
- What? - I have to go back.
They want me back at the recording studio, like, right now.
What do I do? Here.
Linda Karen has to take off for an hour or two.
Is that gonna be okay? - Sure thing.
- Go.
Go, go, go, go, go.
We're so late.
Well, traffic was never like this when I lived in New York.
I know, mom.
That's why I said we should take the subway.
My God.
Does this take me back.
Derek.
Derek Wells.
I know you by reputation.
Leigh Conroy.
My mother.
You never told me your mother was Leigh Conroy.
She is, and she's quite contrite at having caused the late arrival of your star.
I told her a cab would take too long, but she won't take the subway.
Not in heels I won't.
Ivy was quite reluctant to let me come.
It's an honor to have you.
Ms.
Conroy, forgive me.
You've been such an inspiration.
No need for me to forgive you for that.
Sing something! No, I couldn't.
We do have a lot to get through today.
Do Everything's coming up roses.
- Yeah.
- I couldn't.
Come on, please, please.
I saw you do it when I was eight, at the Westport Country Playhouse you were amazing.
Unfortunately, our pianist is running late.
Don't be ridiculous.
I know it.
I had a dream a dream about you, baby it's gotta come true, baby they think that we're through but, baby you'll be swell you'll be great gonna have the whole world on a plate startin' here, startin' now honey, everything's coming up roses clear the decks clear the tracks we've got nothing to do but relax blow a kiss take a bow honey, everything's coming up roses you can do it all you need is a hand we can do it mama is gonna see to it curtain up light the lights you've got nothing to hit but the heights I can tell wait and see there's the bell follow me and nothing's gonna stop us till we're through honey, everything's coming up roses and daffodils everything's coming up sunshine and Santa Claus everything's coming up roses for me and for My God, I can't believe she's here! My God.
Ho ho! she sounds like that.
So are we good? Fine.
Listen.
I know I don't say this enough, but You're wonderful in this show.
Thank you.
And you're gonna be great tomorrow.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and grab her.
It's even hotter in here than it was before.
Sweltering.
- Daddy, daddy! - Daddy's working.
I'm sorry.
We were in the neighborhood, so - What do you got? - I've got a golden hat.
I see that.
He wanted to dress up like daddy.
The child thing never ceases to perplex me.
- Because you're a reptile.
- Excuse me.
Did I say something? That's the least offensive thing I've said in days.
You as well.
Julia.
I thought I had to throw up.
I'm okay.
Well, that's good.
'Cause I think this gentleman is waiting to get his bike.
Sorry.
You gonna be okay? Julia, what did My God.
You did, didn't you? You slept with him? I have to go home.
I'm sorry.
You have to finish the day without me.
I have to I have to go home.
Where the hell is she? Has anybody seen Julia? She had to go home.
Well, we need to work on Lexington and 52nd street.
I'm here.
Let's work.
No, the song is fine.
The book needs work.
- It's the dialogue.
Eileen.
- She just left? Yup.
Had to go home.
Well, she does realize the workshop is tomorrow.
I need something to work on.
Linda, find me something to work on.
- Eileen.
- Ellis.
Can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
This is difficult, but you really need to know this.
Julia is having an affair with Michael Swift.
It's why she's been so erratic with the pages.
It's completely out of control.
They That's enough.
I won't pretend this isn't useful information, because it is.
But if I hear you've repeated this to anyone, you'll never work on this production or in this town again.
- Do we understand each other? - Yes.
Good.
Mom.
What What're you doing here? I live here.
You're supposed to be at rehearsal.
You're supposed to be not smoking pot.
Mason, would you get out of here? Yeah.
Sure, Mrs.
Houston.
Don't be so polite, you little drug addict.
My workshop is tomorrow.
You know what I'm in the middle of! I do know what you're in the middle of.
And I think it sucks, and I think you suck.
He's got millions, he's got glasses - He's got a yacht.
- You don't say.
He's not only got a yacht, he's got a bicycle! That Derek's very charming.
And so handsome.
Mom He's a very important director.
I'm not so sure I'd let him slip out of my hands.
I am not talking about this with you.
You poor thing.
I was over getting nervous by the time I was your age, but you're used to the ensemble.
It's not nerves, it's the prednisone.
I got these sleeping pills, but I don't want to start taking one thing on top of another.
I won a Tony without any of it.
Look at that magnetism.
No wonder you're nervous.
I don't know how you're gonna pull that off.
What do you think, Josephine? What does it say in your crystal ball? - Nobody? - Well, it's a union contract.
Nobody wants to step on that.
It's a problem.
Don't talk to me about problems with unions.
- I work in the theater.
- Well, I I did find somebody that said he would step in, but he mostly spoke Chinese, and I couldn't understand what he wanted.
What do you mean, "what he wanted"? Well, just in terms of money.
I've never heard of a Chinese plumber before.
So you live on the lower east side, and you've never heard of a Chinese plumber.
I'm new to the neighborhood.
You know, I've got a guy lives upstairs.
He did this whole place.
Plumbing, wiring, not exactly licensed, but he knows what he's doing.
He knows what he's doing? Absolutely.
- Does he speak English? - Yeah, he speaks English.
He's illegal, so he prefers things a little under the table.
Well, get him down here.
I slept like a rock.
The big day.
The workshop.
Who on earth is calling you at 6:00 in the morning? Bobby Raskin.
Bobby Raskin called, and he wants to meet you.
That's incredible.
Like, crazy incredible.
No, no, no, you don't understand.
He wants to meet me now, like in half an hour.
They said it's the only time, and then he's leaving for a month.
He's going somewhere in Europe or Dubai or something.
What is with her? Don't worry about Ivy.
Why aren't you on your way over there? We're starting in half an hour I'd miss the workshop.
You're making $200 a week in this.
You're in the chorus, and Bobby Raskin wants to meet with you.
You think I should just leave? I think it's a crazy opportunity.
We'll be fine.
You're in the chorus.
Nobody will hold it against you.
Even Derek will understand.
Well, I just would never do that.
I just wouldn't do that.
Looks like the boiler room.
It's locked, though.
May I? Thank you.
No, no, no, no.
Who was that for? My soon-to-be ex-husband.
Despite how this looks, this is all perfectly legitimate.
Whatever you say.
Michael.
- Hey, you.
- No.
Leo knows.
That's, That's something.
Yeah.
And you have that beautiful son.
How could you not think of him? Don't do this to me again.
- You know I'm right.
- I don't know that.
I need you both.
They're coming.
And can we please just listen to it one last time? Okay, I'm asking nicely.
It's just not working.
Let's have a run at it, could we? Okay, You're being ridiculous.
Yeah, it's great.
Terrific.
You're out there, all of New York is staring up your skirt.
- It's just publicity.
- It's dirty.
- It's filthy.
- Joe.
Can we hold? Yes, all right, fine, I've got it.
I'm not the greatest Marilyn.
- Okay, Julia, step in.
- What? Step in.
Read for Marilyn.
Where's Ivy? I just got a text.
She's stuck in the elevator.
My God, this wonderful building.
Look, it's now or never.
Please.
I'm not a joke.
This relationship is a joke.
That's not the line.
Well, maybe it should be.
Look, what do you want out of me? What I want is, uh, what's here.
What's real between us, and you keep lying.
- I never lie.
- You lie every day.
Every day is a lie with you.
You don't get to decide how these things go.
I am not yours to order around.
I'm not yours.
Actually, that's pretty good.
Certainly bumps into the song better.
Did someone get that? Got it.
Heat's still broken, right? I need a little break.
Well, stay off the elevator.
- Write that out for me.
- Okay.
God.
You know, early on in my so-called career, I was working on a new play.
Promising young playwright, lovely little theater.
Then, one day, we turned up, and the roof had caved in 'cause of a snowstorm.
And the leading lady got SARS.
- Do you remember SARS? - Yeah.
And finally a divan we had on set got bedbugs.
Well, that's quite a story.
My point, Eileen, is that sometimes a project is cursed.
Derek, this workshop is gonna happen today, as scheduled, and it's gonna be brilliant.
Because the material is brilliant, and the songs are brilliant, and you're truly a great enough director to justify your behavior.
Is that supposed to be flattery? You can take it however you like.
But we're gonna make a hit out of this.
Because Marilyn deserves it.
Who the hell is that in my boiler room? I called a plumber.
I want him out of here immediately.
Not before the heat is fixed.
Fine.
I'm calling the cops.
Call the cops.
And I'll call the Schuberts and the Nederlanders.
They all have studios here, and I'm sure they'll be extremely interested to find out just how badly this building is maintained.
Anyone gets hurt, it's on your head.
No one's gonna get hurt.
Wisely done.
And we're back! Excuse me, are you in the show? Yeah.
Could you tell Tom Levitt that John Goodwin's here? - Sure.
- Thanks.
Uhoh.
That's Joe Machota, from CAA.
Okay, so So, he just happens to represent about three different stars who would be perfect for Marilyn.
Guys.
You want to maybe shut up? She can hear you.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
Unbelievable.
- You okay? - I'm sorry, bro.
Yeah.
You'll be stunned to hear that the ensemble's being a shred insensitive, sort of loudly speculating right before the performance that you're planning on replacing Ivy with a star.
- God.
- It's - Tom? - John.
Yeah, so, if you get a chance, she could use some encouragement.
Honey, hi.
Where's Leo? He's in high school now, honey.
He was gonna start skipping things sooner or later.
- Frank.
- Michael.
How are you? Good to see you again.
Leo said that you stopped by the house.
You should come by when I'm there maybe dinner sometime.
That sounds great.
How ya feeling? Great.
Great.
Where's your boyfriend? He's not my boyfriend, we're just seeing each other.
He's over there, by your friend.
His name is Sam, and what is your problem with him? It's just Okay.
He's too straight.
I like straight people, that's not the issue.
But I just kissed John in front of him, and he was all You know how some straight people get.
He's just too straight.
For crying out loud.
He's gay.
Shut up.
Tom, he's been my best friend since I was 18 years old.
He is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
He's gay? Where have you been? Where have you been? Why didn't you tell me? Who knew your gaydar was so stupid? My gaydar is not stupid.
I do not have stupid gaydar.
I hate that word.
I can't believe he's gay.
What do you care? You're seeing someone.
And besides, you can't stand him.
That's right.
- How are you? - Okay.
You can tell me anything.
You know that, right? My mother is doing everything she can to undermine me.
And Karen Cartwright is just handed everything on a plate, and I really don't think I can do this.
Ivy, listen to me.
You were born to do this.
You have ice water in your veins.
Thank you.
- Bill.
- Hi.
I'm so happy you could make it.
Sorry.
Is it completely hopeless? He's still working.
He says he's close, but you got all these people here, so I'm sorry.
Well, there's no need to apologize.
- Well, back to work.
- Nick I'd like you to stay and watch, if you want to, that is.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
Well, I should maybe wash up a little.
Yeah, the bathroom's down the hall.
I'll be right back.
Ladies and gentlemen, apologies for the delay.
And the heat, which is currently being attended to.
Now, as many of you know, this is very much a work in progress.
We've focused primarily on the Joe DiMaggio years, and the rest of Marilyn's biography is covered very much in sketch form.
But what we have is great.
I think you'll agree.
Please.
Don't mind me.
I'm not here.
Leigh Conroy, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Goodness, whew! Apparently, some do like it hot.
Indeed.
And now, without further delay, a brand-new musical about the life of Marilyn Monroe, from the amazing Houston and Levitt.
Fade in on a girl with a hunger for fame and a face and a name to remember the past fades away because as of this day Norma Jeane's gone she's moving on her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you are the music starts playing it's the beat of her heart saying in this factory where dreams can come true are you ready to make someone new? you're the team that must teach me to do the 20th Century Fox mambo done the homework, and I'll pass the test I'll do whatever my teacher suggests I can do it clothed or undressed the 20th Century Fox mambo make it up, shake it up let the fantasies begin here's the dope to get cast, change the past make the light just right for sin someday they'll write lots of books about our fame and glory but if all their reports are just movies and sports they'll be missing the whole story missing the whole story 'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen let my heart be the teacher no one here to disapprove as we review the lessons you've been missing let the moon be our only light ooh 'cause history is made Okay.
when the season's over the play won't end 'cause a baseball diamond is a girl's best friend yes, my style and my fashion'll elevate Are you okay? I'm fine.
I think I'm I'm fine.
And, uh, that's intermission.
Jules.
- Not now.
Please, Michael.
- We have to deal with this.
There's nothing to deal with.
This is wrong, and you know it.
- And it's over now.
- All right Frank.
Honey.
Great work up there.
Thanks, sweetie.
'Scuse me.
Actors.
- Ivy.
- Yeah.
Okay, I'm talking to you as your director now.
Get your head in the game.
You are great in this.
And you can do it better than anyone, but I need you to focus.
The show needs you to focus, okay? Is that all? Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
You do not talk to an actor like that at intermission.
Well, you do if they're off their game.
Jordan, hey! Lovely to see you.
- It's just publicity.
- It's dirty! It's filthy! They're turning you into a joke! I am not a joke.
This relationship is a joke.
Look, what do you want from me? What I want is what's here.
What's real between us.
You keep lying.
I never lied.
Hurry, hurry, step right up see the star who lives for the spotlight turn the mics and cameras on or she feels incomplete now, before it hits the screen watch us play the final scene right here on Lexington and 52nd street It is chaos down here on 52nd and Lexington.
Film star Marilyn Monroe brings Hollywood to Manhattan as she films Billy Wilder's Seven year itch.
Hurry, all you faceless men and catch the end of the match of a century you're just in time for the final round 'cause I know when I'm beat see the girl who's become a joke see the man whose heart she broke right here from Hollywood to Niagara Falls in barbershops on Barroom Walls the things I thought were only mine hurry, hurry, take a peek the traffic stops for the queen of the movies the centerfold, live, in the flesh so get a ringside seat you want to see what her husband sees just wait for the next subway breeze right here Joe? Joe.
Where's Joe? Oh, Joe Hurry, hurry, going fast watch the fool as he heads for the exit he sees what she has to have and he cannot compete see the girl who's 10 feet high see the man who's learned to cry right here on Lexington Joe Please don't leave me, Joe.
Now, that's a fan.
Sorry.
She turns on the glow as the fans start to cheer it's her name that you hear near and far she's what you've been needing it's all here, and her heart's pleading let me be your star We'll see.
Bye.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
How do you feel about it? I feel great.
The room was a little hot.
Will you excuse me for a second? That was great, guys, really.
I couldn't be prouder.
- I thought it was awesome.
- The heat boned us.
- So boned us.
- So what if it was hot? The show was fantastic.
Yeah, and then you fell off the bleachers! I didn't mean to.
But Ivy was incredible.
I was just so I don't know.
Overwhelmed.
I don't know about incredible.
You guys know she's not my favorite person, but she was great.
You should've taken that meeting with Raskin.
- You had a meeting? - Yes.
And I skipped it to do Marilyn.
They think I'm crazy.
Yeah.
This was just a workshop, Karen.
Which didn't pay anything, which probably won't go anywhere.
I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
I didn't say it like that, actually.
Thanks for coming.
Great to see you.
Thanks.
We need to rethink some things.
Not right now.
Of course, but soon.
I'm sorry about the plumber.
Don't be silly.
This was great, though.
A lot of fun.
Thanks for coming.
Gonna have to come to more of these.
Who the hell is that? He makes the best $7 Martinis in Manhattan.
How nice for him.
Bravo, darling.
Than, mom.
The songs are excellent, and the direction, and who was that boy that played Joe DiMaggio? He was terrific.
I just loved the whole thing.
Well, what about me? Well Forget it.
Just forget it.
Ivy! Look, how am I supposed to be anything when you're always here, sucking up the light like a - Like a black hole? - Sweetheart Don't even.
You say something cruel every day, when you're not ignoring me.
You're my mother, and you can't even say one kind word.
And you know who else had a mother like that? Marilyn.
Look how she turned out.
She was a legend.
She was an unhappy, drug-addicted disaster.
Because her mother didn't love her.
That's what Marilyn was.
You coming up to the house anytime soon? No, I'm not.
Your father will be disappointed.
Jimmy too.
Tell them I said hello.
Ivy It's hard for me to watch you.
I never wanted you to do this.
Yes, mom.
That's very clear.
I know I haven't been the greatest mother.
I know that.
But I know how heartbreaking this world is.
And I can't stand to watch you go through everything I went through.
Even now, I wish you'd find something else.
Not because you're not good at it.
Because you're my daughter.
And I love you, and for years, I've watched as people without an ounce of your talent have passed you by.
That's the theater.
But your day will come, because there's no question.
You're a star.
"Insiders indicated it was in serious trouble.
"One long-time producer called it 'confused.
' another came out and said" I don't want to know.
Just step away from the computer.
Okay.
So Is it over? Don't be ridiculous.
We all know what we're doing.
The show is great.
It was too hot.
They're getting a new boiler.
They couldn't have done that yesterday? Listen, we're gonna have to regroup and repackage.
Joe Machota was there from CAA.
He represents Scarlett Johansson, Michelle Williams, Sutton Foster.
Stop.
Come on, Ivy was terrific.
Not yesterday, she wasn't.
It didn't help that you told her she was off her game at intermission.
You said that? Yeah, I did.
I was directing her.
Look, Ivy's terrific, but she's been in the ensemble for how long? Look, they turn down the wattage to blend in.
And they can't turn it up again.
Ivy was terrific under impossible circumstances, and you didn't help.
You know what I think? She humiliated you in front of everyone, and so you sabotaged her.
Okay, do you want to fix the show, or indulge in paranoid fantasies? I'm not paranoid.
This happens all the time.
Things don't go well, and instead of figuring out the problem, everyone picks a scapegoat and then gangs up on them.
That's all this is.
Tom, Tom, Tom.
Nobody is scapegoating Ivy.
She was excellent.
Now, I was hoping we could get some of these investors to come onboard on the strength of the material.
But we're gonna need another piece.
It was too hot.
The heat didn't help.
I uh I think the real problem is Michael Swift.
Tom.
Are you daft? He was sensational.
Where are you on this, Julia? Yes.
- I think he should go.
- Eileen.
I think Tom and Julia should make the call on this one, Derek.
There are other actors out there.
Yeah, okay.
Where's your dad? Upstairs, studying chemistry.
- You hungry? - No, we ate.
So? What did people say about Marilyn? They liked it.
There were some problems.
There's always a few problems.
This time it was the heat.
Yeah? We're firing Michael.
You are? Yes.
He wasn't right for the part.
- No, - No.
He wasn't right.
So we're firing him.
Good.

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