Sonny with a Chance (2009) s01e07 Episode Script
Poll'd Apart
You guys come on! Get off the Internet we're supposed to be writing a sketch for this week's show! You are not even listening to me? You are not even listening to me when I am telling you "you are not even listening to me"? Ah! Who is hotter? Chad Dylan Cooper or his new car? Let me see that! Look at him.
He's been seen so hot I mean so not.
Yeah! The car is what makes him hot! I'm just saying.
What is "Sharona Knows"? Only the most popular gossip blog on the web! The World Wide Web! Yeah! And it's also the meanest blog on the web! -The world wide -Yeah! we got that! Hey look! There is a photo of me! And we're wearing the same dress! Who'd Sharona say wore it better? It doesn't matter! Oh! Sweetie! Don't take what she says personally she is mean to everyone! Sharona's forecast: Sonny was shinning while Tawni was partly clunky with an eighty percent chance of shame? Oh! Interesting! Ok! So anyways the sketch.
She did not just say you wore it better! So! Ah! I think she took it pretty well! Off to the races, I'm going places Might be a long shot, not gonna waste it This is the big break and it's calling my name So far, so great, get with it At least that's how I see it Having a dream is just the beginning So far, so great, believe it Can't take away this feeling Taking a ride with chance on my side Yeah, I can't wait So far, so great So far, so great Sonny With a Chance S01E07 Poll'd Apart You know what hurts the most? That you would actually have the same dress as me! Ok! We'll go through everything in my closet and make sure Sharona never catches us in the same outfit again! So! Do you have anything like this? Ok! This one's safe! What about these? ???? It's a skort! You know, shorts in the back, skirt in the front.
It's like a mullet for your butt.
Ok so what're you wearing to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards? Shame.
And this sharpest party dress.
But mostly shame.
Tawni come on! Sharona's had her fun! She will never pit us against each other again! It's over! This just in! Sharona says: Sonny's hair is fab and Tawni's hair is drab.
Ok now it's over! How could Sharona compare these two photos! She used my picture from "The bad hair day" sketch and yours is all touched up and pretty! Oh actually, that's my photo from my student ID Didn't it turn out good? My clothes are ugly! My hair is ugly! My entire life is ugly! I need a tissue! Here just use my skort! Even the things I blow my nose are ugly! Look at Chad! With his perfect hair his perfect car and his valid license! I bet he is gonna to drive that car to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards and all the girls will be all over him.
What a loser! I would never even wanna be in that car! I would rather have a wedgie every day for the rest of my life than to be in that car! What a jerk! I can not look at him another minute Hey! Tawni, you're ready to come back to the rehears You shaved your head?! Actually, it's a bald cap! but symbolically, yes I did shave my head! Sharona has driven you to wearing a bald cap? If I don't have the best hair I may as well not have any hair at all! Cut it out! Zora! Tawni! This is crazy! I can't believe you're letting Sharona get to you like this Image is all I have! You have wholesomeness and fresh-faceness so you don't need style which is good because you don't have any! Come on! You are making fun of me to make yourself feel better see there's the Tawni I know and occasionally I get along with! Yeah.
I guess hurting you did make me feel a little bit better.
There you go! Take another shot! Look! my shirt is so last year-ish! Actually it was never in! Oh, snap! You got me good! Now make fun of my pants! Your pants are really cute! Wow! A compliment!? This is worse than I thought.
I'll be back in a little while.
Yeah! Just go! Turn off the light and leave me alone with my bald, bald head Zora I told you to cut it out! That wasn't me! Hey Chad! How is it going buddy, how is life over on the "Falls"? Lots of drama.
You're hilarious! Drama! Cause you're on a drama! I bet you get hungry on the drama.
Which is why I bought you some hot wings! Thanks dude.
Love the wing! I love your car! She is alright.
Listen, I hope I'm not being too forward but if you haven't already promised your passenger seat to someone maybe I could ride with you to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Me and you? Yeah.
I know it seems crazy.
A guy like me going with a guy like you in a car like that, but just think about it! Hey Chad! How's it going over there on the "Falls"? Pretty good.
I got you this pizza! Did you now.
You know, I was sitting around and thinking I haven't bought my pal Chad a pizza in a while! You never bought me a pizza! And that was wrong! This wouldn't by any chance have anything to do with you wanting to ride in my car, would it? Dude you're freakin' me out.
I mean you got all that from a pizza?! Just think about it, ok? Don't pressure me! Just Right! Dear readers Sharona knows that you seek the truth and I'll deliver it whether it's true or not! Is that my Latte, monkey? I have Sonny Munroe to see you! Fine! Fine! Send! Send! -Hi Sharona! Thank you so much -Come! Come! Sit! Sit! Not there! Not there! How about I just stand?! That's fine! Look Sharona, I'm a big fan of your website! Who isn't? Can I get a what-what?! What-what! Don't touch me! -Ok listen! I ! I came here to talk about -Not now! I have to pick an outfit! No! No! Hideous! Awful! And that's just the people holding the clothes! Just give me that one! I'm going to wear this to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards.
Oh wait! I'm going to that too! Do you like it? It's custom made! Oh.
How I loathe when people wear the same outfit! Yeah About that I came here to tell you that some of the things that you write on your blog can be really hurtful to certain people! Which people? Well I can't tell you that? Can you text me? No! Well, my policy is if they can't take it and you can't text it they shouldn't go outside! She is not going outside! Who? Tawni! Ha! Ok! Yes, it's Tawni! But she is lying on the couch crying her eyes out! And she is even wearing a bald cap! I did that to Tawni Hart? Can I get a what-what? What-no! Sharona! I'm trying to tell you that some of the things that you write about people on the internet can really hurt them! You know, they are real people with real feelings too! They aren't just names and faces on TV and in magazines! And you should really think about that the next time you blog! You know what Sonny? I've never thought about it that way! You have really opened my eyes! Me too! You have really given me a lot to think about! A lot! A lot! A latte! Monkey! Latte! Tawni! I have a really good news! Ah, you symbolically shaved all your photos? I helped! I made this one a pirate! Ok! Forget the pirate! Here is the really great news! Sharona won't be writing any more mean things about you! I went down there and had a little talk with her! You did? I did! For me? For you! And now it's time to show the world Tawni's beautiful head of hair! Are you ready for that? Yes I am! So, Sharona took it pretty well, aha?! Yeah, she did! You know, it was a little rough at first, but underneath all that purple hay, there is a heart, and once I realized that, I said.
.
Tawni Is Bald! What?! What! You told her I was bald?! I didn't say that! That's not what I said! Well, what did you say? I said bald cap! But Sharona twisted it all around and left out the "cap" part! She is a word twister! Tawni! Wait! Don't let the word twister win! Where did she go? If anybody needs me, I'll be up here for the rest of my life! Tawni! Please come out of there.
We can't do the show without you! Not gonna! But what if I told you I had some of your favorite things? Like what? Well, I've got a mirror! I don't wanna see myself! Well, maybe you would feel differently if you are wearing your favorite discontinued lipstick Cocomacococo Cocomacococo? That's right! Cocomacococo! I can't believe this! I just wanted to make things better! Read my Cocomacococo lips! Sharona is evil! And everybody reads her blog! You had no chance! She is too powerful! Ah! So you're just gonna close your vent and give up? That's it?! You know what! We are pretty powerful too! I mean we are on a TV show for crying out loud You can't let that wicked witch of the web get away with this! Wait! What? Wicked witch of the web?! Come on! We're gonna on TV and fight fire with funny! As long as there's fire, I'm in! Get her! Now, welcome back to So Random! Monkey! My latte is cold! And you have visitors! Sit! Sit! Stand! Stand! Side! Side! I love my power! Guess which Ozzie wood trio lacks courage, brains and rhythm.
Why do you have to be such a bully? Because it makes me feel so alive! Can I get a witch-witch? Please! My grandmother roars better than that! And she dresses better too! And you! You call yourself a scarecrow! The only thing scary about you is your outfit! You're a walking fashion and fire hazard.
Why you got to go there? Hey! Witch! Watch! What're you trying to do?! Melt me?! It isn't in the movie, kid! I'm trying to distract you while he unplugs your computer! No! Not my computer! No! Without my computer, I'll lose my power and then if I don't use navigator over the Internet I'm just another bitter weak sensitive lonely insensitive old hag.
You are also a kind of joke! You guys wanna get some courage and some brains? I'm more in the mood for Chinese! You'll miss me and my little blog too! Wicked witch? Oh no they didn't! You texted it? You! Guys, look! You both want a ride to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" in my car and I get that.
But all I can think about is which one of you wants it more? Guys! Guys! Stop! So? Decided anything? Yeah! I'm gonna milk this a little longer! Cereal, ribs Anything about us on Sharona's blog?! Oh! My phone is not on, I just looking at my reflection! Oh! Look at you! Loving yourself too much! Welcome back my old friend! You know, I think we've heared the last of Sharona! Whoa! A gift basket! Owl's Butcher shop! It's from Sharona! "To my funny friends at So Random!" What does it say? Look! She she wrote things on the meat! Meat Dead Your You're dead meat! She is threatening us! Oh no! She wrote on the sausages too! If anyone of you show your faces at the "Oh No, You Didn'ts," I will tear you all to shreds.
--Sharona! Come on! We're not really afraid of her! Are we, Tawni? I'm a little afraid! Yeah me too! Guys! These last few days have been amazing! But I realized something! Just cause I drive to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" alone doesn't mean I'm leaving alone! Know what I'm talking about, ha?! We have no idea what you're talking about! I'm talking about girls! Guys! Guys! It's not you, it's you and you! -But -No, no.
No words.
It's easier if I just leave with your presents.
I can't believe we got in a fight over Chad! Yeah! yeah! Well technically we got in a fight over Chad's car Dude, you're way too good for that car.
Yeah, that car doesn't deserve to take you to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" It doesn't matter! We can't go anyway! We got threatening meat! Remember that sketch I thought would make things better? Actually it turned out to make things worse! Ha! That happens a lot with you! Now thanks to little Miss "I have a plan," we can't go to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts!" You know, none of this would've happened if you hadn't cared so much about what Sharona said about you.
I swear the only person who cares more about how they look more than you is Sharona! Oh no! She is thinking again! You're right! I am thinking and you know what I'm thinking? We're doing this! So we are going to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts?" Oh yes! We are-re! This is the face I'm going to use when they call my name when I win my "Oh no, you didn't.
" Oh, maybe this one.
Sharona! Look who showed up, monkey! I guess they didn't read their meat! We just wanted to come here and say: You win! Those are my two favorite words! Next to Latte, monkey! Before we go, can we just get a picture with you? Why not? It will be something to remember! That's kind of what we were hoping for! Ok! Ready everybody! One, two, three! Oh! What do you think you're doing? You can't wear me! Well! Actually, I think we are wearing you better than you! I'll destroy you! Not anymore! Because if we don't care what you write about us! You can't hurt us! So smile! And say ahhhha! No no pictures! No pictures! I am going to blog you into oblivion.
Sonny Munroe and her cast of So Random Well, I guess we all know who wore it wetter.
Hair check! Teeth check! Fashionably late, check! Alright! On my way to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts.
" Alright! On my way to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts.
" Come on! This does not happen to Chad Dylan Cooper! Where is my battery? "Thanks for the memories, your pals Nico and Grady" Do I know a Nico and Grady?
He's been seen so hot I mean so not.
Yeah! The car is what makes him hot! I'm just saying.
What is "Sharona Knows"? Only the most popular gossip blog on the web! The World Wide Web! Yeah! And it's also the meanest blog on the web! -The world wide -Yeah! we got that! Hey look! There is a photo of me! And we're wearing the same dress! Who'd Sharona say wore it better? It doesn't matter! Oh! Sweetie! Don't take what she says personally she is mean to everyone! Sharona's forecast: Sonny was shinning while Tawni was partly clunky with an eighty percent chance of shame? Oh! Interesting! Ok! So anyways the sketch.
She did not just say you wore it better! So! Ah! I think she took it pretty well! Off to the races, I'm going places Might be a long shot, not gonna waste it This is the big break and it's calling my name So far, so great, get with it At least that's how I see it Having a dream is just the beginning So far, so great, believe it Can't take away this feeling Taking a ride with chance on my side Yeah, I can't wait So far, so great So far, so great Sonny With a Chance S01E07 Poll'd Apart You know what hurts the most? That you would actually have the same dress as me! Ok! We'll go through everything in my closet and make sure Sharona never catches us in the same outfit again! So! Do you have anything like this? Ok! This one's safe! What about these? ???? It's a skort! You know, shorts in the back, skirt in the front.
It's like a mullet for your butt.
Ok so what're you wearing to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards? Shame.
And this sharpest party dress.
But mostly shame.
Tawni come on! Sharona's had her fun! She will never pit us against each other again! It's over! This just in! Sharona says: Sonny's hair is fab and Tawni's hair is drab.
Ok now it's over! How could Sharona compare these two photos! She used my picture from "The bad hair day" sketch and yours is all touched up and pretty! Oh actually, that's my photo from my student ID Didn't it turn out good? My clothes are ugly! My hair is ugly! My entire life is ugly! I need a tissue! Here just use my skort! Even the things I blow my nose are ugly! Look at Chad! With his perfect hair his perfect car and his valid license! I bet he is gonna to drive that car to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards and all the girls will be all over him.
What a loser! I would never even wanna be in that car! I would rather have a wedgie every day for the rest of my life than to be in that car! What a jerk! I can not look at him another minute Hey! Tawni, you're ready to come back to the rehears You shaved your head?! Actually, it's a bald cap! but symbolically, yes I did shave my head! Sharona has driven you to wearing a bald cap? If I don't have the best hair I may as well not have any hair at all! Cut it out! Zora! Tawni! This is crazy! I can't believe you're letting Sharona get to you like this Image is all I have! You have wholesomeness and fresh-faceness so you don't need style which is good because you don't have any! Come on! You are making fun of me to make yourself feel better see there's the Tawni I know and occasionally I get along with! Yeah.
I guess hurting you did make me feel a little bit better.
There you go! Take another shot! Look! my shirt is so last year-ish! Actually it was never in! Oh, snap! You got me good! Now make fun of my pants! Your pants are really cute! Wow! A compliment!? This is worse than I thought.
I'll be back in a little while.
Yeah! Just go! Turn off the light and leave me alone with my bald, bald head Zora I told you to cut it out! That wasn't me! Hey Chad! How is it going buddy, how is life over on the "Falls"? Lots of drama.
You're hilarious! Drama! Cause you're on a drama! I bet you get hungry on the drama.
Which is why I bought you some hot wings! Thanks dude.
Love the wing! I love your car! She is alright.
Listen, I hope I'm not being too forward but if you haven't already promised your passenger seat to someone maybe I could ride with you to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Me and you? Yeah.
I know it seems crazy.
A guy like me going with a guy like you in a car like that, but just think about it! Hey Chad! How's it going over there on the "Falls"? Pretty good.
I got you this pizza! Did you now.
You know, I was sitting around and thinking I haven't bought my pal Chad a pizza in a while! You never bought me a pizza! And that was wrong! This wouldn't by any chance have anything to do with you wanting to ride in my car, would it? Dude you're freakin' me out.
I mean you got all that from a pizza?! Just think about it, ok? Don't pressure me! Just Right! Dear readers Sharona knows that you seek the truth and I'll deliver it whether it's true or not! Is that my Latte, monkey? I have Sonny Munroe to see you! Fine! Fine! Send! Send! -Hi Sharona! Thank you so much -Come! Come! Sit! Sit! Not there! Not there! How about I just stand?! That's fine! Look Sharona, I'm a big fan of your website! Who isn't? Can I get a what-what?! What-what! Don't touch me! -Ok listen! I ! I came here to talk about -Not now! I have to pick an outfit! No! No! Hideous! Awful! And that's just the people holding the clothes! Just give me that one! I'm going to wear this to the "Oh No, You Didn't" Awards.
Oh wait! I'm going to that too! Do you like it? It's custom made! Oh.
How I loathe when people wear the same outfit! Yeah About that I came here to tell you that some of the things that you write on your blog can be really hurtful to certain people! Which people? Well I can't tell you that? Can you text me? No! Well, my policy is if they can't take it and you can't text it they shouldn't go outside! She is not going outside! Who? Tawni! Ha! Ok! Yes, it's Tawni! But she is lying on the couch crying her eyes out! And she is even wearing a bald cap! I did that to Tawni Hart? Can I get a what-what? What-no! Sharona! I'm trying to tell you that some of the things that you write about people on the internet can really hurt them! You know, they are real people with real feelings too! They aren't just names and faces on TV and in magazines! And you should really think about that the next time you blog! You know what Sonny? I've never thought about it that way! You have really opened my eyes! Me too! You have really given me a lot to think about! A lot! A lot! A latte! Monkey! Latte! Tawni! I have a really good news! Ah, you symbolically shaved all your photos? I helped! I made this one a pirate! Ok! Forget the pirate! Here is the really great news! Sharona won't be writing any more mean things about you! I went down there and had a little talk with her! You did? I did! For me? For you! And now it's time to show the world Tawni's beautiful head of hair! Are you ready for that? Yes I am! So, Sharona took it pretty well, aha?! Yeah, she did! You know, it was a little rough at first, but underneath all that purple hay, there is a heart, and once I realized that, I said.
.
Tawni Is Bald! What?! What! You told her I was bald?! I didn't say that! That's not what I said! Well, what did you say? I said bald cap! But Sharona twisted it all around and left out the "cap" part! She is a word twister! Tawni! Wait! Don't let the word twister win! Where did she go? If anybody needs me, I'll be up here for the rest of my life! Tawni! Please come out of there.
We can't do the show without you! Not gonna! But what if I told you I had some of your favorite things? Like what? Well, I've got a mirror! I don't wanna see myself! Well, maybe you would feel differently if you are wearing your favorite discontinued lipstick Cocomacococo Cocomacococo? That's right! Cocomacococo! I can't believe this! I just wanted to make things better! Read my Cocomacococo lips! Sharona is evil! And everybody reads her blog! You had no chance! She is too powerful! Ah! So you're just gonna close your vent and give up? That's it?! You know what! We are pretty powerful too! I mean we are on a TV show for crying out loud You can't let that wicked witch of the web get away with this! Wait! What? Wicked witch of the web?! Come on! We're gonna on TV and fight fire with funny! As long as there's fire, I'm in! Get her! Now, welcome back to So Random! Monkey! My latte is cold! And you have visitors! Sit! Sit! Stand! Stand! Side! Side! I love my power! Guess which Ozzie wood trio lacks courage, brains and rhythm.
Why do you have to be such a bully? Because it makes me feel so alive! Can I get a witch-witch? Please! My grandmother roars better than that! And she dresses better too! And you! You call yourself a scarecrow! The only thing scary about you is your outfit! You're a walking fashion and fire hazard.
Why you got to go there? Hey! Witch! Watch! What're you trying to do?! Melt me?! It isn't in the movie, kid! I'm trying to distract you while he unplugs your computer! No! Not my computer! No! Without my computer, I'll lose my power and then if I don't use navigator over the Internet I'm just another bitter weak sensitive lonely insensitive old hag.
You are also a kind of joke! You guys wanna get some courage and some brains? I'm more in the mood for Chinese! You'll miss me and my little blog too! Wicked witch? Oh no they didn't! You texted it? You! Guys, look! You both want a ride to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" in my car and I get that.
But all I can think about is which one of you wants it more? Guys! Guys! Stop! So? Decided anything? Yeah! I'm gonna milk this a little longer! Cereal, ribs Anything about us on Sharona's blog?! Oh! My phone is not on, I just looking at my reflection! Oh! Look at you! Loving yourself too much! Welcome back my old friend! You know, I think we've heared the last of Sharona! Whoa! A gift basket! Owl's Butcher shop! It's from Sharona! "To my funny friends at So Random!" What does it say? Look! She she wrote things on the meat! Meat Dead Your You're dead meat! She is threatening us! Oh no! She wrote on the sausages too! If anyone of you show your faces at the "Oh No, You Didn'ts," I will tear you all to shreds.
--Sharona! Come on! We're not really afraid of her! Are we, Tawni? I'm a little afraid! Yeah me too! Guys! These last few days have been amazing! But I realized something! Just cause I drive to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" alone doesn't mean I'm leaving alone! Know what I'm talking about, ha?! We have no idea what you're talking about! I'm talking about girls! Guys! Guys! It's not you, it's you and you! -But -No, no.
No words.
It's easier if I just leave with your presents.
I can't believe we got in a fight over Chad! Yeah! yeah! Well technically we got in a fight over Chad's car Dude, you're way too good for that car.
Yeah, that car doesn't deserve to take you to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts" It doesn't matter! We can't go anyway! We got threatening meat! Remember that sketch I thought would make things better? Actually it turned out to make things worse! Ha! That happens a lot with you! Now thanks to little Miss "I have a plan," we can't go to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts!" You know, none of this would've happened if you hadn't cared so much about what Sharona said about you.
I swear the only person who cares more about how they look more than you is Sharona! Oh no! She is thinking again! You're right! I am thinking and you know what I'm thinking? We're doing this! So we are going to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts?" Oh yes! We are-re! This is the face I'm going to use when they call my name when I win my "Oh no, you didn't.
" Oh, maybe this one.
Sharona! Look who showed up, monkey! I guess they didn't read their meat! We just wanted to come here and say: You win! Those are my two favorite words! Next to Latte, monkey! Before we go, can we just get a picture with you? Why not? It will be something to remember! That's kind of what we were hoping for! Ok! Ready everybody! One, two, three! Oh! What do you think you're doing? You can't wear me! Well! Actually, I think we are wearing you better than you! I'll destroy you! Not anymore! Because if we don't care what you write about us! You can't hurt us! So smile! And say ahhhha! No no pictures! No pictures! I am going to blog you into oblivion.
Sonny Munroe and her cast of So Random Well, I guess we all know who wore it wetter.
Hair check! Teeth check! Fashionably late, check! Alright! On my way to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts.
" Alright! On my way to the "Oh No, You Didn'ts.
" Come on! This does not happen to Chad Dylan Cooper! Where is my battery? "Thanks for the memories, your pals Nico and Grady" Do I know a Nico and Grady?