Survival of the Thickest (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[mellow music playing]
[distant sirens wailing]
- [PA] All nurses to the nurses' station.
- [Mavis groans]
[Mavis] My whole body hurts.
I'm not gonna die, am I?
- No.
- Of course not.
No, honey. No.
I'm not the doctor.
I'm just running tests.
Can you tell me what's wrong with me?
Is it too much salt?
Butter? Alcohol? Red meat?
Diabetes? Am I diabetic?
Will I die or beat it?
Is it a hyperactive,
overactive, too-active thyroid?
Is it an underactive,
why-are-you-so-underactive thyroid?
[yelling] What is it? Tell me!
Why aren't you saying anything?
The doctor will read your results
and then come in and speak to you.
No, that's unacceptable.
My light-skinned sis here is in pain.
We are not gonna sit here
and wait for some white male doctor
to walk up in here
and say there's nothing wrong with her.
I'm sorry. That
Do you know how often
Black and brown women
are mistreated in hospitals?
Would you like for me
to read off the statistics to you?
There's gotta be a Black doctor
somewhere in this building. Get up.
Yes, you. I'll be right back, okay, honey?
- Okay.
- I'm gonna take care of this.
Thank you.
I'mma find you
a good Black doctor real quick.
- I love you.
- All right. Out!
- I have to keep doing tests.
- No, what you have to do is
There's so many things I wanna do
that I haven't done. I wanna, um
I wanna travel the world.
I wanna be a mom
and keep building my career.
Oh God.
[groans, clears throat]
Oh God. I just quit my job.
I passed on $10,000 a month,
and Natasha's not even that bad.
What the hell did I just do, Khalil?
I don't have an income!
Stop.
Right now, you need to relax.
Hey. You gonna to do all those things.
All right? Lay back, close your eyes,
and just get some rest, all right?
- Okay.
- All right.
I just wish I had my sound machine.
Okay, what you want? You want, uh
You want ocean, or you want city?
City.
Eew-weew-weeh!
- That's a ambulance.
- [both laughing]
- That's a good-ass city sound.
- Okay.
- Get some rest.
- Love you, K.
All right? Love you too.
Okay ♪
One time for the big girls
In the crowd ♪
Hey ♪
Hear me now ♪
Go on, sis, yeah
Show 'em how to work it out ♪
Uh, excuse me. Uh, okay.
Excuse me, sir. Okay, great, ignore me.
Black women are always there
for everybody else,
but the second we need help,
no one shows up.
Y'all know we invented
the maxi pad, right?
Yep, we sure did. 3D movies.
All types of advancements in technology.
Yeah. The feeding tube, home security,
caller ID, not to mention rock 'n' roll.
Can somebody please point me
in the direction of a Black doctor?
Please!
- [woman] You know
- [Marley] Ugh!
If you chilled just a bit,
you'd be very cute.
Where's your friend?
What?
Hey, uh, I found one.
- Oh!
- I did!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Dr. Britta.
- Hi, I'm Mavis Beaumont.
Lovely to meet you.
Okay, I'm gonna need you guys to clear out
so that I can
properly examine Miss Beaumont.
You gotta get your ass outta here.
You heard this beautiful Black woman.
Saving lives every day.
Okay.
Now I'm just gonna apply
some light pressure,
and you're gonna let me know
how much it hurts
on a scale of one to ten.
- Okay.
- Okay?
Let me try with your neck first.
Oof, um
I would say about a three.
Okay. Let's try here.
Ow! Ah!
Yeah. Ooh, that's a seven.
That's a hard seven. That's a big seven.
- [Khalil] Hey. Is she good?
- Oh my goodness. Oh my God!
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Mavis, are you okay?
- Oh my God! What are you doing here?
- Your mom called me.
- Oh God.
Well, we didn't call you, boy. Bye.
I have her insurance-card information
for whoever needs it. Just help her.
I'm still on your insurance?
I wouldn't take you off.
I need to make sure you're taken care of.
[Britta] Your chart said you experienced
stress, fainting, and irregular breathing.
Ah!
Okay, let me just try
one last thing, okay?
Okay.
Irregular breathing
can also sometimes cause
- [lengthy fart]
- [Mavis whimpers]
[fart continues]
[fart squeaks suddenly]
I think I have, um been holding
a lot of things in.
Oh.
[mellow hip-hop beat playing]
[snores]
- Morning, beautiful.
- Oh my God, Jade!
What? I told you
not to wake me up like that.
But I didn't do any butterfly kisses.
I'm listening, and I'm learning,
and I'm just so happy that you're alive.
Oh my God!
And your mom is here,
and she likes me now.
- Right, Mama Lo Lo?
- Yes, baby.
Mom, what are you doing in Brooklyn?
Well, you're sick.
I'm not sick.
I just had an anxiety attack.
My understanding,
it was an acute anxiety attack.
And why?
Because you're living wrong. In sin.
Okay, you know what?
You don't have to come here and just
Mavis, you are 38 years old.
- I know how old I am.
- I thought you were 45?
Who told you that?
Jesus put that giant gas bubble
in your stomach for a reason.
You need to marry Jacque.
Make babies. Have a family.
Having a family
is what you've always wanted.
Mom, you don't have to come here
and tell me what I want.
Well, what is it, then? This Luca?
Why are you wasting your time
on this long-distance thing
when you have a man right here?
Well, Luca and I are, um
I don't really know what we are,
to be honest, so
- What kind of family is he from?
- A big, loving Italian one.
So he's from the Mafia?
Okay, you watch way too much Sopranos.
That's not fair.
Life is not fair to women, Mavis.
But the reality is
you need to start having babies now.
Right now. Be practical.
Be practical?
Do you even love me?
Of course I love you.
That's why I ordered the curry goat.
Jade and I are going to pick it up now.
- Yay.
- Hoo-hoo!
Get dressed.
Your father's waiting for you
in the living room.
[pensive music playing]
[softly] Oh my God.
[Mavis] Hey, Papa.
Hey.
Hi. Okay, so we're drinking?
- Yes. Tomato juice has vitamins, you know.
- [Mavis chuckles]
- Sit down. Let me talk to you.
- Okay.
[softly] Okay.
The new broom sweep clean,
but the old broom knows all the corners.
Could you please not speak in proverbs?
The mug is not broken,
therefore the coffee is not thrown away.
- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Just tell me what you wanna say.
Sometimes men do things
we are not proud of.
- Mm-hmm.
- I cheated on your mom.
I know you know about it.
She knows about it.
It was a hard time for us,
all of us,
but we didn't let that mistake break us.
Forty-two years of marriage.
Sometimes people make mistakes,
and you've got to forgive them.
Yep. That's That's That's
After the hospital,
Jacque drove out to our house
to ask for my blessing to marry you,
and when I looked in his eyes,
I saw a man who made the same mistake
but who truly loves you.
So I said yes.
Now it's up to you.
Hmm?
More vodka?
Yes.
How you feel about, like,
knowing Jacque wanna marry you,
but the bullshit that's been happening,
everything going on?
[Marley] I'll tell you how she feels.
She feels like this shit
doesn't merit discussion.
I do. It doesn't merit a discussion,
but you can't have no feelings about
somebody that wants to propose to you.
Especially when you're at the age you have
to decide whether to have children,
and you thought you were gonna marry
this person for the last five years.
And you've also picked out names
for your children together.
And when somebody can smell a fart
like that that came outta you
- Oof!
- and still wanna be with you.
- Honey, that's a blessing.
- Okay.
- Blessing.
- Really?
[Mavis] Okay, enough!
- I mean.
- By Jennifer Lopez.
Honestly, though,
we barely wanna run wit' you
'cause I'm scared that shit
might pop out of there.
Oh, you guys, everybody farts!
It's a book!
Really appreciate you
letting me plan this.
I love hanging out with you at y'all crib,
but I just want Coop
to see me in my element. Is that crazy?
No, it's not crazy.
I actually think it's really sweet,
and I appreciate you planning it.
Yes, of course.
A'ight, Coop. Talk to me.
What's your vision for this?
I wanna get you the right supplies.
I don't really know
what I wanna paint yet.
Any ideas of what I should do
if I wanna give this as a gift to someone?
Ooh, I love that.
Look, man, there's nothing better than
giving a gift you made with your hands.
Um, who is this for, Cooper?
Hey, Mom, didn't you say
you wanted to get your nails done?
I think I saw a place around the corner.
Okay. You know what?
I did say that. Yes, I did.
Okay. How about you send me a text
if you need anything, all right? Love you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
A'ight, Coop, hit me. Who's the gift for?
- Chris.
- Chris.
And I assume Chris, uh, she/he/they
are somebody you want to impress?
She. Yeah, she's all right or whatever.
She's having a birthday party,
but since I'm not going,
I thought maybe I'd just get her a gift.
I hear you. Why you not going?
It's a roller-skating party.
I don't know why girls
always do stuff like that,
but I don't roller-skate, so
Now, Coop, uh
I don't want to blow your mind,
and I don't want you to think
that somebody like me
is just good at everything,
but I'm amazing on roller skates, okay?
And now, by the end of the day,
you will be too.
Now get over there.
Help me move this table.
How's your back?
You're only nine. Should be good.
Um, thank you so much for coming with me
this Tuesday morning,
looking like you're red carpet-ready.
What, me?
Mavis, I just left a work meeting.
Really? You just left a work meeting
with the top-titty meat
and the thigh meat all out, lookin' like
you're a backup dancer for Prince?
- That's how you went to your work meeting?
- Oh, girl, please. I mean, really.
- Are you wearing lashes?
- A bitch can't be fly?
- My bad.
- [chuckles]
- [knocking at door]
- Good afternoon, Mavis.
- [Mavis] Hi.
- Hi.
I am glad you came back.
It is so smart to investigate
your reproductive health now.
I can't believe it. You again.
I mean, Mavis, come on.
Really? You didn't tell me
you were going to see Dr. Britta.
- I didn't?
- No.
I thought I did.
- You didn't.
- I must've forgotten.
You must've.
That's my bad.
Yes.
Dr. Britta, you remember my friend Marley.
All right, so first thing you wanna do
is find your center of gravity.
A'ight? It's all about the core.
So go ahead, bend your knees a little bit.
There you go.
- Bend your knees, and then skate to me.
- No.
Okay. All right.
Uh, we Let's break this down. [tuts]
Let go of the chair.
Coop, man, let go of the chair.
- I did!
- All right. [clears throat]
Watch me again.
It's not even about the skating.
It's really about your attitude.
So what you wanna do is
you wanna give Chris a little bit of this.
Right? You wanna look at her long enough
to where she knows you into her
but not too long where it becomes creepy.
How long is that?
Six seconds.
One.
Two.
- Three.
- Three seconds is enough for you.
Coop, you ever gonna let go of the chair?
I don't think so.
And did you know that
when I spent $85 on skates?
I was pretty sure, yeah.
All right, I got a better idea.
Meet me here tomorrow,
and then we'll solve the problem.
All right.
A'ight?
You wanna take the skates off?
- Yes please.
- All right.
[blows raspberry]
So if you are smelling French vanilla
from Victoria's Secret,
that's because I put lotion on my ankles
'cause I don't know the day you had.
I know bitches are nasty,
but when I have an appointment,
it's gonna smell cute.
- [chuckles]
- That's just very thoughtful.
Thank you.
Okay, we're all done here.
I'm going to leave some tissues for you,
and I will be right back
to discuss your low progesterone levels,
mid-sized follicles, slanted uterus,
and plans for your possible
geriatric pregnancy.
- Thank you?
- Mm-hmm.
Geriatric pregnancy.
Oh. Okay.
- [phone buzzes]
- Oh.
Oh.
Oh no. Oh.
Oh God. Okay. Oh.
Okay.
Oh.
Hi, Mavis. Hello.
I wanted to say that I support everything
you want to do with your career,
and I sent you that plane ticket
because I wanted to be with you
and show you my world.
But I realized I can do that
without you coming here,
so here we go.
A day in my life.
This is just outside my place.
That's a nice place.
And this palace, you know.
Okay, no, it's just my office here.
I was going to make up some history
of this building, but the truth is,
I have no idea what it used to be.
Boy, bye.
And say hello to one of the families
I'm currently working with.
- Okay, that is just incredibly sweet.
- Now you can come on my walk home.
Down here is a little restaurant
that also sells homemade pasta
and fresh vegetables,
so I can cook you dinner tonight.
If you could someday be here,
I would make you dinner every night,
as long as it doesn't involve
Rice Krispies.
- [chuckles]
- Look at this adorable little gnocchi.
See? Cute like you.
Aw, it is cute like me!
[speaks Italian]
And this is where you will sleep,
next to me.
And I hope someday, when it works for you,
you will use the ticket I sent you
and come and see me.
[Italian music playing]
I'm telling you. I am new to this.
Not new to dating, but dating women,
but not new to being with a woman
because I've slept with women.
I mean, I've slept
with many women, but I just
Wow, I am talking a lot.
I'm feeling like Mavis right now,
and this is exhausting.
Let me give you my number.
Text me with a time and place
and, please, definitely wear that.
[funky bass line plays]
- Later.
- I'll see you soon.
All right.
A'ight so tell me this.
What is, uh What's Chris into?
Chloe Bailey, ice cream, earrings.
Oh! Slow down!
A'ight, I feel you. A'ight, I feel you.
Uh, let's start with somethin' simple.
- Chris's favorite color.
- Blue.
Blue. Blue. We got blue right here.
Ooh, she also likes true-crime podcasts.
Okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.
We'll figure out how to work that in.
That sound like she layered, though,
so that's a good thing. Yeah.
That's real good.
- [dance music playing]
- Sorry, sweetie.
Come back
when you're old enough to rent a car.
Okay, but I paid $32 in tolls to get here
from Jersey to see Peppermint perform.
Egypt, coming from Jersey to Brooklyn?
That's like a long-distance relationship.
Okay?
- Come on. Let What's your name?
- Billy.
Let Billy in.
I'm not drinking tonight, so
- Your credit card's declined again?
- Got court in the morning?
Okay. I am not drinking, so I'll make sure
Billy don't drink, all right?
[cheering]
[upbeat music playing]
Thanks. I feel like I'm at a crossroad.
Why do I have to make these decisions now?
Like, why does 38 feel like a cutoff?
Bitch, is it your birthday?
No, bitch! I have been 38.
You threw my last birthday party.
Oh damn! I did, didn't I?
I'm a good-ass friend.
That party was not that good.
Oh, please. It was great.
I had strippers and free liquor.
So you do remember it.
- [Marley] I do now.
- Okay.
Wait, you haven't talked to Jacque,
have you?
No. This isn't about
Jacque wanting to propose.
Or maybe it is about Jacque.
Maybe it's about Luca. I don't know.
Maybe it's about everything?
Mavis, I'm 38 too.
We have plenty of time
to figure things out.
No, you have time to figure things out.
You could be 92 years old in a wheelchair,
and if someone sits on you,
you'll get them pregnant.
That's disgusting.
I basically have a week to decide
if I'm gonna freeze my eggs.
Can't even afford to do that.
[sighs] It's just not fair,
and that's why I'm not drinkin'.
All I wanna do right now is have a drink.
Mm, sis, I'm so sorry
you're goin' through this.
I gotta tell you.
Me making the choice not to have kids
was a very hard decision,
but it was the right one for me,
and I know you being a mom
is very important to you.
- What is that? Spit that out.
- It's a Tic Tac.
Let me see.
You bring enough for the class?
Mm-hmm.
That is a Tic Tac. It's minty fresh.
[Marley] Oh, look,
you'll be a wonderful mom.
I think you're putting
too much pressure on yourself.
You never know where you gonna end up.
Look, this afternoon,
I found myself paintin' skates
for a nine-year-old's birthday party
with my girlfriend's son.
Look at you wit' your girlfriend's son.
Even though y'all about to make fun of me
'cause I'm happy now,
I'm just sayin' you never know.
See, it's that.
It's that look on your face.
- That's what I want.
- [Marley chuckles]
- Look at his face. It's goofy as fuck.
- Look at him showing all those teeth.
Why he always have that goofy look
on his face?
He look like he just got
a free chicken nugget at McDonald's.
- I know, right?
- Okay, y'all keep making fun of me.
But don't be coming at me
'cause I'm happy.
Boy, you are cute. I loved that video.
A day in your life is so beautiful.
I'm glad you like it. I miss you.
I want to come see you soon.
I would love that.
I also wanna start a family,
or at least start to try.
Okay.
Sorry, I should back that up.
I was recently in the hospital. Briefly.
Oh, Mavis, are you okay?
Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm good.
Yeah, it was, um
It was an anxiety attack, but honestly,
it was really a wake-up call
for what I want in life,
and so I made an appointment
with a fertility specialist,
and, um I wanna have kids.
I do. And a career and be successful.
And if I'm going to have it all,
I need to start now.
Just give me a minute
to process all of this, Mavis.
Yeah. I don't expect you to do anything
with this information.
It's just this, us,
doesn't feel very realistic.
To be honest, um,
I feel so connected to you,
but how can we really commit to each other
after just a few months
and when we're a whole ocean away?
It's not fair, I know,
but, um, I really did love that video.
It was a good video.
[gentle music playing]
Okay.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
[Jade] Aw.
That was so sad.
Oh my God.
You guys usually say,
like, "Ciao for now."
So I showed him
a little somethin' like this.
- Okay.
- Right? Yeah.
All right. What else you got?
He wasn't quite ready for the
you know, for cool stuff yet.
[India] Throw it back.
Well, whatever you taught him was enough
because he got to slow-dance roller-skate
with Chris at her party.
- Yeah!
- [India chuckles]
That's my man, Coop.
Look, I knew he'd be good on those skates.
At least, you know,
he had her to hold him up.
Well, he's been talking about you nonstop,
and he even told his dad about you.
And, um, actually, he wants to meet you.
Your ex-husband wanna meet me?
Yeah.
I mean, we have this, like, agreement
that if Cooper meets someone,
that we should meet that person too.
And how has that worked out in the past?
Well, it's actually never happened
in the past, so
Oh. Okay.
But you don't have to do it
if you're not comfortable.
No. I wanna do this.
I wanna do it. I wanna meet him too.
I want everybody to be comfortable.
That's what I want. I want everybody
I want you to be comfortable.
I want your ex-husband to be comfortable.
I want Cooper Everybody.
We should all be comfortable together.
Okay. Well, great.
Great.
["Gravity" by Brent Faiyaz
feat. Tyler, The Creator plays]
I'm on ♪
- But you want me home ♪
- No, no, no, no, no.
I'd get you what you want ♪
Ah!
Okay, okay.
Hey, chocolate Pop-Tart.
You and the weird one better stop
Get out of my way!
But I don't want you waiting round ♪
Ahh!
No!
Okay. Jade, open the door.
Jade, please open the door. Jade, open
[panting]
Why didn't you answer the door?
[Jade] I didn't know who it was.
- I watch Dateline.
- [Mavis] Sh!
we was on? It would be tragedy ♪
[knocks on door] Mavis?
- Did you throw a laundry basket at me?
- [Mavis] Go.
Please let me stay.
Please, this is the best night of my life.
Get out, Jade!
[softly] Fuck.
- Bitch, I'm all alone ♪
- You gonna press me now? ♪
[blows raspberry]
[inhales and exhales deeply]
Ah.
[knock on door]
Huh [high-pitched] Mm-mm!
I, um
Hey Hi. Sorry about that.
Um, just, you know, wh Uh
Wh Wh What had happened was
Mavis, I have a question
I need to ask you.
Okay.
Too much to be your boyfriend ♪
Who's Luca?
And you ain't making this much easier ♪
If I only knew this ♪
When I used to be your best friend ♪
You see me blowing up ♪
I'm on ♪
Don't act like I'm average ♪
But you want me home ♪
I'd get you what you want ♪
Superstar status ♪
But you want me alone ♪
Baby I'm active ♪
You held me up when I was down and out ♪
But I don't want you
Waiting round for me ♪
I don't want you waiting too long
Too long ♪
I'm on ♪
But you want me home ♪
I'd get you what you want ♪
Ooh-ooh ♪
But you want me alone ♪
Baby I'm active ♪
You held me up when I was down and out ♪
But I don't want you
Waiting round for me ♪
I don't want you waiting too long
Too long ♪
I don't want you waiting too long ♪
She hold me down like gravity ♪