Teen Trouble (2012) s01e07 Episode Script
Dayne
I've been in chains all day, dude.
I get it.
It's hard.
I'm Josh Shipp When a teen is out of control And the parents are out of options I'm the only lifeline that you have left.
I get the call.
Tonight on "Teen Trouble" Are you in this or not? I've got one shot to save 15-year-old Dayne.
- Look, I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
You got a kid with anger problems (Bleep) you.
Who is doing drugs Are you high right now? Yes, you are.
And carrying a gun.
This is a trifecta of inevitable death.
This is your reality.
Everything in your life is gonna be painful.
It started off all fine and (bleep) dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
Dude, you can get your way with everyone else, and if you're not gonna commit, I'm out.
I'm done.
I know what it means to be a teen in trouble.
I was one Abandoned, abused, addicted.
But I beat the odds.
I'm a teen behavior specialist.
My approach is gritty Gutsy You can lie to everyone else.
You will not lie to me.
And in your face.
You're acting like a spoiled brat.
It's ridiculous.
My mission is to wake these teens and their parents up Here is a condom.
Here we have a beer can.
Before it's too late.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you throw away your life.
This week, I'm in Malden, Massachusetts, where 15-year-old Dayne is careening out of control.
He's addicted to marijuana, painkillers, and cocaine.
Yeah.
You try it, you like it.
Now you can't stop.
He's trapped in a life of crime Right now, drugs come first.
And robbing drug dealers at gunpoint.
His mother Shannon is at her breaking point.
I'm already a wreck as it is.
It it it c it can't possibly be any worse.
She's afraid he'll be murdered and she should be afraid.
The lowest thought I had, the one place I'm at is either jail or death.
The way I look at it I get what I get.
Smoke a lot of weed.
Pounds a day, yes, indeed.
A lot of drugs is what I need to keep me calm and cautious.
From the time I was 13 till this day, I have not gone a day without smoking weed.
After a while, I guess the weed wasn't enough.
I started doing cocaine and Percocet.
Emotionally, you feel no pain.
You feel euphoric.
I love it.
I've done klonopins, Adderall, Vicodin, L.
S.
D.
, D.
M.
T.
, oxycontin, ecstasy, Angel Dust.
I've done mescaline.
That was that w that w that was crazy.
I grew up around drugs.
Meet up in like a half-hour? I started selling drugs to make money.
First off, I started selling weed.
Then I started selling coke.
Then with all your profit, you start spending on the drugs that you're using, and then that's when things start to go South.
And coming up with money for drugs, it's nothing pretty.
It's vicious.
I didn't rob anybody until I got robbed for my drugs.
You feel me? Once I got a gun put to my head for my (bleep), then I was like, "all right.
I'm not letting this (bleep) happen to me again.
" Got myself a gun.
Then it got to beating people for their money to sticking up drug dealers, fishing through people's cars, running in people's houses, until you're just doing, basically, things that go against your morals and things that you thought you would never be doing.
You're out of control and you know you are.
You have a good family, and you're creating the chaos.
I love my son, but His behavior is scaring me.
We are starting to lose the connection that we once had.
How can I sit back and allow you just to do whatever the hell you want to do? Dayne goes out of his way to to be disruptive.
Are you high right now? Yeah, you are.
It's not funny, Dayne.
It's almost like he's intentionally doing things to aggravate people at this point.
I have the right to tell you what the rules are, and you're supposed to follow them instead of being defiant and calling me an f'in "b.
" I want to help him, but he resents me for some reason, and I'm not really too sure why.
He's really lashing out on me, and it's and it's scary.
I will lose my mind.
I will lose my mind.
Please.
When I do get angry, it's vicious.
It's it's it's vicious, it's Violet, and it's it it's something fierce.
He has destroyed my dining room set, every wall, uh, in my second floor.
He has busted my back door and my front door.
I-I'm a prisoner in my own home.
And I know he loves his mom, and I love him, but I'm scared.
I don't know how to help him.
When Dayne was first born, I was just overwhelmed by raising him.
I was a single parent.
Dayne's dad was in and out of Dayne's life from the time he was born.
He, too, has a drug addiction and alcoholism, and he's been incarcerated on more than one occasion.
The first memory I have of my father is him getting arrested.
He was driving without a license, drunk.
I was 3.
I watched my father go to jail.
Dayne started to act out.
He would pee on the floor in his bedroom.
He would destroy his toys.
He would set fires at 3 years old.
The list goes on.
I felt bad for him.
You know, to see the look on his face, to just want to be with his father and and not having that, it it it just broke my heart.
My mom's always been there for me.
You know what I mean? She's always been a very positive influence in my life.
But I've always felt incomplete.
Like I wasn't quite Like I haven't been quite whole.
Oh, yeah, I always thought I'd have that father-and-son relationship with him.
But, uh, it was a relationship that he never really wanted to have with me.
I don't get along with my stepdad.
And we've always butt heads and had totally different opinions on everything.
And no matter what my husband did for him or did with him, he just wasn't accepting.
I wasted a lot of my time and the end result at the end of the day is, I really don't get any respect from Dayne.
Obviously, you're not my dad.
Point-blank, like You can't change that.
I picked up baseball when I was 7.
My first year, at the end of the season, I was pitching and batting third, and if you know baseball, those are those are good places to be, especially for a rookie.
You know, he was in the paper for hitting a grand slam.
He won the game for the team, and they couldn't believe it.
Those were probably the best moments that I shared with my son.
I was proud of him.
But again, his attitude was always getting in the way.
I was always defiant, so it was, like, everything, I mean You want you wanted me to take a left, I was like, "no, I want to take a right," with with everything.
I started seeing more volatile behavior.
He was getting in fist fights all the time.
He was getting older and bigger so the problems were becoming bigger, and he was becoming stronger and more angry.
I got a call from the school that he had, uh He had defecated in the cafeteria.
I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I mean, his behavior was beyond anything I-I could control.
They tell me I'm gonna be there for 45 days.
I'm going nuts after five days, completely losing my mind.
45 days later, my mom tells me I can't come home.
You know how it feels to have your mom tell you you can't come home? Say your garbage smells too much in your house.
You're gonna throw the garbage away, correct? You don't want it smelling anymore.
You're gonna throw the garbage away.
And that's how I felt.
I felt abandoned.
Probably more so than any other point in my life.
And that's why I've gotta take drugs into myself.
It's like I fight to numb myself.
Just, like, I do all all these things to numb myself.
And it's like, after that, I didn't want to feel like anybody controlled anything I did.
You have to know what you're doing is wrong Stealing, lying, doing drugs.
I have to love you no matter what.
I love my mom, but she doesn't understand why I am the way I am.
You went wrong many, many times and I don't know how to get that through your thick skull.
Like, I don't.
Who put me in a program? I put you in a program 'cause I care about you.
And now you wonder why we're not close and why we don't have - the relationship we used to have? - We're not close Dayne, I did it because I love you.
I want my son to grow up and and be a good man.
I don't want him to grow up and and be a criminal and be an addict.
I just I just can't keep going like this.
I mean, my whole life is revolving around running after him.
It kills emotionally, to know that she doesn't understand why you're hurting, and you don't understand why she's hurting.
I'd love to have a relationship with my mom again.
For now, we're on different channels Totally different channels.
I just have this feeling, and I know it's terrible to say, but I just have this feeling I'm gonna bury my child.
I'm outside of Boston in a little town called Malden.
I'm here to work with 15-year-old Dayne.
Dayne is a thug of a kid.
You got a kid with anger problems who is doing drugs and carrying a gun.
This is a trifecta of inevitable death.
For Dayne, more than any kid I've worked with, everything in his life has to change everything And that process starts right now.
- Dayne, what's up, dude? - What up, Josh? How you doin', man? - Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Let's go upstairs and meet your parents.
All right.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Hi, how are you? Oh.
I'm good.
How are you? - Yes, I'm good.
- Awesome.
Hi.
- Hey, Mike.
- I'm Michael.
- Josh.
- Nice to meet you, Josh.
How do you do? Pleasure.
- Same.
Likewise.
- Good to meet you.
I just can't tell you how happy I am to see you.
Oh, thank you so much.
I'm a little overwhelmed.
Tell me why you're overwhelmed.
Because I just somebody's gonna help him.
Here's the truth I make no claims that I'm here to fix you.
This week, if you choose, could begin to be the process where your life completely changes.
You know, I work with kids that are in situations like I was in.
I was a foster kid.
I was abused.
I was a thief.
I was an alcoholic.
And I said, "you know, there are a lot of things "that have happened to me I can't control, but what I do with my own life, I can control.
" But here's sort of how today's gonna flow Uh, what I'd like to do is spend some time with Dayne.
We can hang out, get to know each other a little bit better.
And then later this evening, I would love to spend some time with the two of you.
What you guys have been doing isn't working.
And so we gotta try something different.
And so I just ask all of you to trust me, - at least for the week - Mm-hmm.
And, uh, you may question my sanity at times.
No, I can see it.
And and I I can see it.
I'm looking in your eyes.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I need your 100% trust and commitment.
- Everybody good with that? - I'm absolutely.
- All right.
- I am absolutely good with it.
Cool.
- So I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
He doesn't care about consequences.
(Bleep) this place.
I'm not a (bleep) puppet.
And I will not be taken advantage of, period.
I'm in Malden, Mass, with 15-year-old Dayne.
I know you used to play some ball.
Yeah.
So we're gonna hang out and do this.
Now Dayne was a great baseball player before he allowed drugs to take over his life.
That's your glove, right? It is my glove.
I just realized that, actually.
Oh, I haven't thrown a ball in so long, dude.
So I want to spend some time talking to him.
When you are on their turf, they feel like they're in control.
Let's chill over here.
It's gonna make them sort of let down their guard a little bit and be more likely to open up.
You still got it.
A little bit, dude.
All the physical sports and activities, if my heart was into it, dude, I got good at it - Yeah, yeah.
- And I excelled very quickly.
- Yeah.
- Just like I started selling drugs.
My heart was into it, I saw I was making money, dude.
I excelled very, very quickly.
So you're very smart.
You're very self-aware.
It's just sort of like, why? Why are you dealing drugs carrying a gun around, all that stuff? See, that that's the thing that kills me.
Like what I'm doing now is, I'm driving myself away from everything good.
Yep.
And just, like, choosing everything bad.
But I go home late at night to a mom that's worried sick, hasn't heard from me in hours, and you know what I feel? I feel like (bleep), dude.
So here's the interesting thing to me about you It's like you got these two dogs inside of you.
- You got, like, the good dog, the bad dog - Thank you.
Thank you.
And wh-whichever one you feed thrives Thank you.
And whichever one you starve dies.
It did seem like he genuinely cared.
He's been in similar predicaments and situations, so he understands where I'm coming from.
It was pretty comforting.
I've learned, if I feed that bad dog, bad things happen.
When I feed the good dog, at first, it feels weird, but eventually, that feels normal.
Everything, right now, you're doing, feeds that bad dog.
'Cause it's what feels natural to me right now.
I used to have parents, adults, teachers telling me, like, "you know what, dude? You're just a rotten seed.
" Like, "you're just you're just that bad," you know what I mean? That Let me be clear.
That's That bad bad title stays with you.
I do not believe that about you.
You're not destined to be this way.
You weren't born a criminal.
You weren't born doing this sort of stuff.
Tell me what you're prepared to change to make a different life for yourself.
The environment I put myself in, the group of friends I ch you know what I mean? I hang out with, I associate with, I chill with.
And what about the drugs? I mean, are you open to giving that up? Do you Yeah, I'm very open to giving that up.
For you, man, everything has to change.
Everything.
Yeah.
Everything, dude.
Everything has to change.
I'm going to put you through an exhaustive process this week.
I bet.
But ultimately, it comes down to you.
It's your choice.
It's your call.
If you want to change your life, it's on you.
I'm cool with that.
- All right.
- I'll accept that.
All right, man.
All right, dude.
Here's to a good week.
We'll see how it goes.
He's one of the more direct kids that I've worked with.
The other thing was how comfortable he is talking about his own issues and how prepared he was to do that right from the get-go.
It's those sorts of clues that make me think that he really does want this.
The next part of my process is to go meet with Dayne's parents and search his room with them.
By searching a kid's room, it tells me exactly what's going on in a kid's life What sort of choices they're making, what's going on in their head, what's going on in their heart, what's going on in their mind.
So this is Dayne's room? Mm-hmm.
He we had remodeled our house, and he took over his sister's room.
It's not exactly what I would've pictured.
No.
That stuff that I did bring from his bedroom, he didn't want to put up.
He said "just put it away," - like he didn't - Yeah.
- Had no interest in it anymore - Yeah.
You know? Didn't want to show them.
All right.
Let me have a look over here.
It really wasn't his room.
It was just sort of this space that he's renting to a certain degree.
He's sort of a visitor in that house.
I mean, something like this is of concern to me.
Essentially, it's something he could use to sniff who knows what? Oh, my God.
It looks like these are some sort of pill that he's emptied out and and, you know, sniffed.
Been a pretty common theme.
I never knew he was doing that.
So I didn't expect to find this much stuff, simply because this is just sort of a room that seems vacant of him.
Mm-hmm.
I think the biggest discovery here is how removed Dayne is from this room, and therefore, perhaps, he feels from this home.
I am well, I certainly don't want him to feel like he's not a part, you know? I mean, I I thought that we, you know, made him feel a part.
I don't This is a very discouraging day for them, because what I'm doing today is forcing them to take inventory of their life.
If he's not invested in this family, then he's not going to respond to their parenting, and so obviously, that creates a concern and a challenge for these parents.
Now I understand you've been through a lot of frustrations, but part of my job here this week is to is to challenge you guys on on things that I I think you should be challenged on.
So then, Mike, talk to me a little bit about the relationship.
I know the relationship is Yeah, well Maybe actually nonexistent.
I've lowered my expectations.
I just expected a lot more from him.
And so do you feel like you've kind of kind of like washed your hands of him to a certain degree? Absolutely.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
The fact of the matter is, you don't have to be his dad to be his father figure.
And a kid like Dayne desperately needs a father figure.
You're probably the best role model of manhood he has in his life.
And I understand that you negotiate a bit with Dayne.
I do.
That's gotta stop.
Yes.
When you negotiate with a kid, you are training him to be a manipulator.
- You are saying, "if you can be persuasive enough" - Mm-hmm.
"Then I'll fold.
" I'm always folding.
Yeah.
I always fold because I can't handle the stress he pla He won't he won't let up.
So this has to be an area where you draw the line in the sand and you say, "no more.
I'm not gonna negotiate.
" Make one request.
Don't nag.
Don't lecture.
One request.
And if he does it, "appreciate that.
Thank you.
" If he doesn't, there's a consequence.
He doesn't Care about consequences.
That's that's a big that's a huge problem.
Mm-hmm.
Part of the job of consequences is that it helps a kid to become mad at themselves and their choices instead of you.
Let's say he breaks the door, all right? That's something that's happened before.
You're gonna remove the door from his room.
All right? Second thing He's gonna pay for that door.
And it's his issue, not yours.
He needs to right the wrong.
Right.
With a teen this at risk, you absolutely have to have a plan of action that includes predetermined consequences.
- Okay.
- This is crucial.
Is it uncomfortable to write down the rules and regulations? Is it uncomfortable to enforce them? Yes.
Is it inconvenient? Yes.
Burying your son Tragic, life-altering, game-changing.
Nothing could be worse.
Show me.
Use it.
Work it.
You quittin' on us? Yeah, I (bleep) broke.
Congratulations, Josh Shipp.
- Listen, Dayne - Now you can (bleep) leave.
Dayne is a really angry kid.
Anger in and of itself is not a bad thing, but the way he is using it is destroying him.
Oh, I lots and lots.
Huh.
Dayne, what's up, dude? - How you doing? - Good.
So today your process really begins.
I want to introduce you to Rick.
This is Dayne, who I was telling you about.
- Nice to meet you, man.
How you doin'? - Nice to meet you.
All right, so Rick specializes in working with teens who have anger issues.
And he's gonna take you through some practices that really show you how your anger is actually hurting you.
- Let me invite you on in.
Come on in, my friend.
- Okay.
Shannon, you'll stay with me.
That's a good thing, all right? When you get angry and you hurt yourself, is that productive? - No.
- It's bad, right? You get angry, you hurt someone else, is that productive? It makes you feel better for a moment, right? All right, but then what's gonna happen down the road? Payback's a bitch.
You got it.
I'm gonna put you through some things today, and give you some alternatives for where to put that anger.
So what I want you to do, whatever's making you pissed, take it out on Joe.
He's gonna take you through a few drills, see if we can, uh, kind of get to the bottom line of that that anger and show you how that isn't the best way to handle things.
- All set? - Okay.
Your left hand's going here.
Your right hand's going here.
Okay, one, two.
One, two.
Jab, jab.
Good.
That's it.
Come on.
Come on.
Go for the belly.
Go.
Jabs to the belly.
Come on.
Everything you got.
Come on.
Come on.
Everything you got.
Go.
Work.
You're angry.
You're angry.
Show it.
Use it.
Work it.
Come on.
Work.
Work.
Come on.
Go to work.
Go.
Come on.
Come on.
Breathe.
Come on.
All right? Breathe.
Get those hands up.
I used two hands, right? Come on.
Work.
- Oh.
- Come on, Dayne.
Turn around.
Turn around and hit it.
Hit it, hit it.
Come on.
Go.
Go.
Come on.
Dig in.
Dig in.
Cut.
Can't do it? You quittin' on us? Yeah.
Pfft.
Man.
When things got difficult, he just crumbled and folded and became helpless.
You quittin'? Come on.
Come on.
Work.
Go.
Get your anger out.
When he feels like he can't win, he can't dominate, he can't be in control, then he just stops.
Come on.
You don't wanna do it? Can't do any damage.
You can't do any damage? Why? Why why do you need to do these pads.
I ain't doing (bleep).
This is the thing was, I've gotta get him out of his comfort zone and get him to realize that he can push past it.
You got passion.
You're pissed right now.
I'm (bleep) heated.
Yeah, that's right.
But you know what? I want you to get that fury and then I want you to I want you to learn how to redirect it.
- Work a couple of the drills with Rick.
- Okay? He'll show you something.
Do it slow.
See it.
Do it.
- We'll slow it down, man.
We'll slow it down.
- Do it.
Slow it down.
Everyone else cares more about him doing this than Dayne does himself.
I didn't volunteer for this, none of that.
Yeah, but we volunteered.
We volunteered.
We volunteered.
We're for you, to help you.
- That's the bottom line.
- So at least let us mold you a little bit.
Yeah.
Start hitting, man.
I won't even hit you back.
I'm just gonna defend it.
The problem is, they had to keep lowering the bar to actually get him to participate.
Just throw.
Just do it.
I-I yeah, I swear.
I won't I ain't gonna hurt you.
He's not gonna hit you back.
Go ahead.
All right.
Whoa.
They did it.
They got him back.
All right.
Oh.
All right? Good.
Whew.
Yeah.
There you go.
I'm too winded for this.
All right.
I'm way too winded for this.
- You just remember this - 30 seconds.
Take 30 seconds.
You got so much emotion, it's burning you up.
You're holding your breath.
You're trying to kill me.
Okay? When you when you have all that anger, all that emotion, it's controlling you.
Right? You let your brain control your body, right? Not the other way around.
You can do it.
I wish you the best.
Hope to see you again.
All right.
Nice meeting you.
My pleasure.
Nice meeting you, man.
- Pleasure meeting you.
- Pleasure, man.
My intention was to show Dayne a way to channel his anger into something productive.
But the thing to me that was surprising and concerning was just that when it got difficult, he kind of gave up.
I mean, if this is the way things are gonna go, this is not looking good at all.
This is your reality.
Everything in your life is gonna be painful.
It started off all fine and (bleep) Dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
Dude, you can throw your fits and get your way with everyone else, and if you're not gonna commit, I'm out.
I'm done.
15-year-old Dayne is not only a gun-carrying thug, but he's also a drug addict.
- Hi, Sherry.
- Hi.
I need to show him where the path he's walking could eventually lead.
- Hi, Sherry.
- This is Dayne, who I was telling you about.
- Hi.
Hi, Dayne.
- How are you? - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- His mom Shannon.
- Hi, Sherry.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Shannon.
Nice to meet you.
All right, so Sherry is from San Diego.
And I asked her to fly here to share her story with the two of you.
So, Sherry, take it away.
I-I understand a little bit from Josh that you've been using drugs.
And so I'm gonna tell you a story about my son Aaron.
This is Aaron.
He was happy and a tremendous athlete.
And I understand you are baseball? - Indeed.
- Yes.
Great at baseball, but he enjoyed all kinds of sports.
But all the while, unbeknownst to us, he was using drugs.
Aaron used every drug there is cocaine, meth, somas, shooting up, taking pills.
If you did five of whatever you were doing, he'd do ten.
Unfortunately, Aaron thought that being healthy on the outside would protect him on the inside.
But yet, it doesn't.
That's the thing about drugs.
They take over you.
When he was 23, he was partying with a bunch of friends, drinking, taking pills.
We go to breakfast every Sunday morning, so my husband was calling his cell phone.
And the cell phone alerted the mom to Aaron.
She went over to Aaron.
He was blue Nonresponsive.
This is where abuse of drugs will lead you.
Would you like to meet my son? Yeah? Okay.
Dayne, this is Aaron.
Because of Aaron's overdose and his coma, he can't speak.
Ha.
But he will contribute today, answering one for yes and two for no.
Dayne, what's going on in your mind, dude? It's, like, a trip.
I couldn't imagine.
I c I couldn't imagine myself like that, you know? But it can happen.
I think sometimes, to really understand what someone's going through, you have to walk a mile in their shoes.
I want you to spend some time in Aaron's shoes, and so I have something for you.
That's your chair.
Hop in there.
There's a seat belt up here.
We're also gonna strap on the braces Aaron had to wear during physical therapy.
Okay.
So for the next day, this is your reality.
I want you to go through what he has to live so hopefully this never becomes your future.
Um All right.
Will someone wipe my face at least? When you go home, you're gonna have to have help brushing your teeth, you're gonna have to have help eating dinner.
You're gonna have to have help getting up the stairs.
Literally everything in your life is gonna be painful.
Will you do it? Yeah.
I think you just saved my life.
He's giving you a thumb's up and yes.
So You think you can do it? I don't know, mom.
Mom, my arm's getting wicked red.
Stop moving it.
I can't help it.
Can't even (bleep) move.
M-mom, this thing is is too much.
I'm getting anxiety bad.
Extreme would be being in a coma.
You have the power to not make this permanent.
For Aaron, his motto was "go big or go home.
" And you have to be careful what you wish for.
Now he's home.
All right, guys.
Thanks for sharing your story, Aaron.
I hope this sinks in for you.
You've gotta stick to your commitment.
This is not a game.
I-I want you to experience this for the next 24.
- I'll be in touch, all right, guys? - Great.
Thank you, Josh.
- All right.
You guys have a good evening.
- Okay.
I don't know how I'm gonna get you in the car.
I knew that staying in the wheelchair and braces was gonna be tough for both Dayne and Shannon, and I needed to see how they would handle this on their own, 'cause guess what.
If this really happened, they would be handling it of their own.
I feel I feel like a puppet.
Put the braces on.
I want to go.
Mom, yeah What about th these things can come off.
No, they stay on.
Ma, do what? They stay on.
Just put these back on.
Come on.
(Bleep) you.
Let's go.
I-I need to get home.
I'm tired.
I didn't know I was I can't lift him.
There's no way.
I can't lift you.
No, you can't.
All right.
So just get in the car, then.
My rules were very clear.
All right.
If Dayne needed to get out of the chair, Shannon was supposed to help him.
And at this point, neither of them are following my rules.
Oh (Bleep) you.
I should've never done this.
A mental war is so much greater than a physical war, so much greater.
That bad dog doesn't want to change.
He wants he wants to stay there.
He doesn't want to leave.
This is so freakin' stressful, dude.
I knew it was gonna be a long day.
I didn't know it was gonna be a mad (bleep) long night.
It's gonna interfere with what I want to do after I do all this bull (bleep) for who? At this point, I don't even feel like I'm doing this for me.
Honestly, dude, I don't.
And if my heart's not in it, then my heart's not in it.
I don't know what to tell you.
I've had it up to here.
No one said it was gonna be easy.
What the ma, you're not the one, like, doing all this, dude.
Like you don't You've made it this far.
Yeah, ma, it started off all fine and (bleep) dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
- Now it's not.
- Dayne, I'm telling you right now Look, I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
- I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
- I don't care.
You're not - Oh, you don't care? - Stop swearing.
Stop swearing.
- You don't care? You don't (bleep) care? Neither do I.
Neither do I.
I'm asking you to stop swearing.
Have some respect.
Dayne, I-I have the stuff.
Will you just please do it? Nah, no.
(Bleep) that, dude.
No.
- I'm willing to do it.
- No, yeah, yeah, you're willing to do it.
I could have my wine and my dinner and just relax - Yeah, dude, I could have my percocets - But I'm doing this for us.
- And my (bleep) cool.
- I'm doing this for us.
Dayne I'm a dog so (bleep) this.
(Bleep) all this, man.
- Dayne, come here for a second.
- Nah.
Dayne.
Dayne, you need to stop.
Dayne, I'm the only lifeline that you really have left.
This whole thing I feel like a (bleep) hamster.
I'm not a (bleep) hamster, nor am I an experiment.
I'm not a (bleep) puppet and I will not be taken advantage of, period.
- He wants to see how it goes, that's fine.
- Dayne, listen to me - We saw how it goes.
- Listen to me.
- And I (bleep) broke.
Congratulations, Josh Shipp.
- Listen - Congratu (Bleep) lations.
- Dayne - No, no.
- Look (Bleep) all that.
- Dayne, please.
- Look, this has nothing to do with my sobriety And me getting clean, me laying in this (bleep) bed.
Nothing.
It was too hard for him today.
I don't know what to do at this point.
Hey, dude.
Why aren't you in the wheelchair? - Seriously, dude.
- Seriously, dude I asked one day of you.
Look, I'm down with the sobriety thing, dude.
I'm more than down to get sober.
All right.
Because me meeting Aaron, I'm not touching drugs.
All right.
I don't want to end up like Aaron, but, like, I got a feel for it, dude, I sat in the wheelchair but I asked you to give me one day in the chair.
I've been in chains all day, dude.
I get it.
It's hard.
I'm an anxious kid.
I got anger out the ass.
Dude, you throw your fits and get your way with everyone else.
That's not gonna happen.
You know exactly what I asked of you.
I'm not gonna negotiate.
Dayne.
And if you're not gonna commit, I'm not playing I'm out.
I'm done.
So the ball's in your court.
Are you in this or not? Dayne, please.
If he's not willing to do this, maybe he's not ready.
If you let him walk out that door, then I'm washing my hands.
That's it.
Freaking unbelievable.
I asked you to give me one day in the chair.
And I-I-I think I've been pretty pretty compliant.
You haven't been, clearly, but you gave me your word.
I have been, but I'm emotionally done.
- Dayne.
- I don't know.
You've put all this work in to quit? Yeah no, I didn't put all this work in to quit.
I put all this work in because I need the help.
Well, here's the help, dude.
Put on the braces and get back in the chair.
I can't, dude.
I can't.
If you're not in, I'm out.
And I'm not playing.
No one has drawn the line in the sand for this kid.
So I have to be the one to do it.
You're facing this crap I get it, it sucks.
But you knew this coming in.
You knew this was part of the program.
I didn't know to this extent.
The reason that I ask these kids to do difficult things is 'cause, do you not think, like, getting off drugs is gonna be insanely difficult? This is why I'm demanding this of Dayne.
If he's not willing to do this, then he's not ready.
You want to help me? Find a way to help me that suits me.
My process is my process.
I do not negotiate.
If you're in, you're in, and you gotta do it my way.
Let me be clear.
Once I step off this porch, this process is over.
- It's two days.
- I'm not gonna negotiate.
What do you want to do? I can't do it.
You're done? So be it.
Dayne, you know you need his help.
You know you need it.
If you let him walk out that door, then I'm washing my hands.
That's it.
I'm not kidding.
I'm that kid that maybe you can't get through to.
We'll get out of here.
I wish you the best.
All right.
Let's get outta here.
I'm not kidding.
Let's go.
Un-freaking-believable.
Although I believe this decision is 100% the right thing, it still makes me sick to my stomach.
What, you think I want to leave? You think I want to walk away from him? You think I want to wash my hands of him? Hell, no.
And how am I gonna tell his mom all day long, "don't negotiate," and then I'm gonna negotiate? Just, like, freaking unbelievable.
This is how it works sometimes.
Can't give a kid want to.
Until they want to, ain't nothing gonna change.
Tomorrow we go home.
So I still haven't heard from Dayne.
I thought he would've called.
If something was life or death, as this is, you would do whatever it took.
You would get up early.
You would not go to bed until you made it right.
And he has not done such.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure we're done here.
Now apparently he's asking his mom for help putting his braces on.
Apparently he's gonna call me, but, you know, he's gonna give me some sort of speech or sob story or excuse or something, but I mean, at this point, it's too little, too late.
That option is off the table.
If he is really serious about this, then I have an even tougher challenge for him.
Hello.
Dayne? Yeah.
Hi.
I don't know if you're still on board with this, but I'm willing to do this.
I'm gonna be honest with you, dude.
It's it's it's a little scary.
You know what I mean? You make that transition from being set in your ways for 15 years to changing your ways for the better.
Here's where I'm at.
I'm not willing to continue my process with you.
You made your choice last night on the porch.
And you have to live with the consequences of that choice.
But there is one last option that I'd like to offer you.
This option is gonna be a lot harder than just spending a day in a wheelchair, and frankly, at this point, I'm not sure if you're ready for it.
Okay.
I would be willing to help you out if you could do the following for the next 30 days I would need you to surrender that gun to your parents I need you to do that today I would need you to surrender all of your drugs to your parents, and quit using drugs and alcohol for the next 30 days, and I would also suggest that you and your mom work together to get you into a detox and rehab program.
I would need you to be willing to take weekly random drug tests, and I'd need you to stop verbally abusing your family and stop destroying their property.
Okay.
Now if you can commit to these things over the next 30 days, I would still be willing to help you out by giving you the aftercare program that I personally designed for you before all this went down.
But let me be clear.
If I get a report from my team that you've broken any of these requests that I have, my offer is off the table, and you're gonna have to find another way to get help.
All right.
So are you willing to do those things over the next month? I'm more than willing to do those things over the next month.
All right.
Look, dude, I-I want nothing more than to help you.
You know, this is not me turning my back on you.
This is not me giving up on you.
This is not me saying "no" to you.
It's just saying "not right now.
" At this point, you gotta prove it.
And if you do, I'm here for you, dude, for the long haul.
But if you're not, I can't help you.
All right.
Okay? I'm there.
All right, man.
I'll be checking in on you.
All right.
Thank you.
Yeah.
See you.
Yeah, it'll be a challenge.
A lot more than the challenge of doing this 24 hours, I can tell you that.
But but if I want it, then these 30 days, I'm sober.
So If not, I'm gonna be a statistic.
"Oh, yeah, he was a good kid, but He got murdered," they're gonna say.
If I want to change, I'll do it.
And I do want to change.
I'm not giving up.
I get it.
It's hard.
I'm Josh Shipp When a teen is out of control And the parents are out of options I'm the only lifeline that you have left.
I get the call.
Tonight on "Teen Trouble" Are you in this or not? I've got one shot to save 15-year-old Dayne.
- Look, I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
You got a kid with anger problems (Bleep) you.
Who is doing drugs Are you high right now? Yes, you are.
And carrying a gun.
This is a trifecta of inevitable death.
This is your reality.
Everything in your life is gonna be painful.
It started off all fine and (bleep) dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
Dude, you can get your way with everyone else, and if you're not gonna commit, I'm out.
I'm done.
I know what it means to be a teen in trouble.
I was one Abandoned, abused, addicted.
But I beat the odds.
I'm a teen behavior specialist.
My approach is gritty Gutsy You can lie to everyone else.
You will not lie to me.
And in your face.
You're acting like a spoiled brat.
It's ridiculous.
My mission is to wake these teens and their parents up Here is a condom.
Here we have a beer can.
Before it's too late.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you throw away your life.
This week, I'm in Malden, Massachusetts, where 15-year-old Dayne is careening out of control.
He's addicted to marijuana, painkillers, and cocaine.
Yeah.
You try it, you like it.
Now you can't stop.
He's trapped in a life of crime Right now, drugs come first.
And robbing drug dealers at gunpoint.
His mother Shannon is at her breaking point.
I'm already a wreck as it is.
It it it c it can't possibly be any worse.
She's afraid he'll be murdered and she should be afraid.
The lowest thought I had, the one place I'm at is either jail or death.
The way I look at it I get what I get.
Smoke a lot of weed.
Pounds a day, yes, indeed.
A lot of drugs is what I need to keep me calm and cautious.
From the time I was 13 till this day, I have not gone a day without smoking weed.
After a while, I guess the weed wasn't enough.
I started doing cocaine and Percocet.
Emotionally, you feel no pain.
You feel euphoric.
I love it.
I've done klonopins, Adderall, Vicodin, L.
S.
D.
, D.
M.
T.
, oxycontin, ecstasy, Angel Dust.
I've done mescaline.
That was that w that w that was crazy.
I grew up around drugs.
Meet up in like a half-hour? I started selling drugs to make money.
First off, I started selling weed.
Then I started selling coke.
Then with all your profit, you start spending on the drugs that you're using, and then that's when things start to go South.
And coming up with money for drugs, it's nothing pretty.
It's vicious.
I didn't rob anybody until I got robbed for my drugs.
You feel me? Once I got a gun put to my head for my (bleep), then I was like, "all right.
I'm not letting this (bleep) happen to me again.
" Got myself a gun.
Then it got to beating people for their money to sticking up drug dealers, fishing through people's cars, running in people's houses, until you're just doing, basically, things that go against your morals and things that you thought you would never be doing.
You're out of control and you know you are.
You have a good family, and you're creating the chaos.
I love my son, but His behavior is scaring me.
We are starting to lose the connection that we once had.
How can I sit back and allow you just to do whatever the hell you want to do? Dayne goes out of his way to to be disruptive.
Are you high right now? Yeah, you are.
It's not funny, Dayne.
It's almost like he's intentionally doing things to aggravate people at this point.
I have the right to tell you what the rules are, and you're supposed to follow them instead of being defiant and calling me an f'in "b.
" I want to help him, but he resents me for some reason, and I'm not really too sure why.
He's really lashing out on me, and it's and it's scary.
I will lose my mind.
I will lose my mind.
Please.
When I do get angry, it's vicious.
It's it's it's vicious, it's Violet, and it's it it's something fierce.
He has destroyed my dining room set, every wall, uh, in my second floor.
He has busted my back door and my front door.
I-I'm a prisoner in my own home.
And I know he loves his mom, and I love him, but I'm scared.
I don't know how to help him.
When Dayne was first born, I was just overwhelmed by raising him.
I was a single parent.
Dayne's dad was in and out of Dayne's life from the time he was born.
He, too, has a drug addiction and alcoholism, and he's been incarcerated on more than one occasion.
The first memory I have of my father is him getting arrested.
He was driving without a license, drunk.
I was 3.
I watched my father go to jail.
Dayne started to act out.
He would pee on the floor in his bedroom.
He would destroy his toys.
He would set fires at 3 years old.
The list goes on.
I felt bad for him.
You know, to see the look on his face, to just want to be with his father and and not having that, it it it just broke my heart.
My mom's always been there for me.
You know what I mean? She's always been a very positive influence in my life.
But I've always felt incomplete.
Like I wasn't quite Like I haven't been quite whole.
Oh, yeah, I always thought I'd have that father-and-son relationship with him.
But, uh, it was a relationship that he never really wanted to have with me.
I don't get along with my stepdad.
And we've always butt heads and had totally different opinions on everything.
And no matter what my husband did for him or did with him, he just wasn't accepting.
I wasted a lot of my time and the end result at the end of the day is, I really don't get any respect from Dayne.
Obviously, you're not my dad.
Point-blank, like You can't change that.
I picked up baseball when I was 7.
My first year, at the end of the season, I was pitching and batting third, and if you know baseball, those are those are good places to be, especially for a rookie.
You know, he was in the paper for hitting a grand slam.
He won the game for the team, and they couldn't believe it.
Those were probably the best moments that I shared with my son.
I was proud of him.
But again, his attitude was always getting in the way.
I was always defiant, so it was, like, everything, I mean You want you wanted me to take a left, I was like, "no, I want to take a right," with with everything.
I started seeing more volatile behavior.
He was getting in fist fights all the time.
He was getting older and bigger so the problems were becoming bigger, and he was becoming stronger and more angry.
I got a call from the school that he had, uh He had defecated in the cafeteria.
I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I mean, his behavior was beyond anything I-I could control.
They tell me I'm gonna be there for 45 days.
I'm going nuts after five days, completely losing my mind.
45 days later, my mom tells me I can't come home.
You know how it feels to have your mom tell you you can't come home? Say your garbage smells too much in your house.
You're gonna throw the garbage away, correct? You don't want it smelling anymore.
You're gonna throw the garbage away.
And that's how I felt.
I felt abandoned.
Probably more so than any other point in my life.
And that's why I've gotta take drugs into myself.
It's like I fight to numb myself.
Just, like, I do all all these things to numb myself.
And it's like, after that, I didn't want to feel like anybody controlled anything I did.
You have to know what you're doing is wrong Stealing, lying, doing drugs.
I have to love you no matter what.
I love my mom, but she doesn't understand why I am the way I am.
You went wrong many, many times and I don't know how to get that through your thick skull.
Like, I don't.
Who put me in a program? I put you in a program 'cause I care about you.
And now you wonder why we're not close and why we don't have - the relationship we used to have? - We're not close Dayne, I did it because I love you.
I want my son to grow up and and be a good man.
I don't want him to grow up and and be a criminal and be an addict.
I just I just can't keep going like this.
I mean, my whole life is revolving around running after him.
It kills emotionally, to know that she doesn't understand why you're hurting, and you don't understand why she's hurting.
I'd love to have a relationship with my mom again.
For now, we're on different channels Totally different channels.
I just have this feeling, and I know it's terrible to say, but I just have this feeling I'm gonna bury my child.
I'm outside of Boston in a little town called Malden.
I'm here to work with 15-year-old Dayne.
Dayne is a thug of a kid.
You got a kid with anger problems who is doing drugs and carrying a gun.
This is a trifecta of inevitable death.
For Dayne, more than any kid I've worked with, everything in his life has to change everything And that process starts right now.
- Dayne, what's up, dude? - What up, Josh? How you doin', man? - Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Let's go upstairs and meet your parents.
All right.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Hi, how are you? Oh.
I'm good.
How are you? - Yes, I'm good.
- Awesome.
Hi.
- Hey, Mike.
- I'm Michael.
- Josh.
- Nice to meet you, Josh.
How do you do? Pleasure.
- Same.
Likewise.
- Good to meet you.
I just can't tell you how happy I am to see you.
Oh, thank you so much.
I'm a little overwhelmed.
Tell me why you're overwhelmed.
Because I just somebody's gonna help him.
Here's the truth I make no claims that I'm here to fix you.
This week, if you choose, could begin to be the process where your life completely changes.
You know, I work with kids that are in situations like I was in.
I was a foster kid.
I was abused.
I was a thief.
I was an alcoholic.
And I said, "you know, there are a lot of things "that have happened to me I can't control, but what I do with my own life, I can control.
" But here's sort of how today's gonna flow Uh, what I'd like to do is spend some time with Dayne.
We can hang out, get to know each other a little bit better.
And then later this evening, I would love to spend some time with the two of you.
What you guys have been doing isn't working.
And so we gotta try something different.
And so I just ask all of you to trust me, - at least for the week - Mm-hmm.
And, uh, you may question my sanity at times.
No, I can see it.
And and I I can see it.
I'm looking in your eyes.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I need your 100% trust and commitment.
- Everybody good with that? - I'm absolutely.
- All right.
- I am absolutely good with it.
Cool.
- So I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
He doesn't care about consequences.
(Bleep) this place.
I'm not a (bleep) puppet.
And I will not be taken advantage of, period.
I'm in Malden, Mass, with 15-year-old Dayne.
I know you used to play some ball.
Yeah.
So we're gonna hang out and do this.
Now Dayne was a great baseball player before he allowed drugs to take over his life.
That's your glove, right? It is my glove.
I just realized that, actually.
Oh, I haven't thrown a ball in so long, dude.
So I want to spend some time talking to him.
When you are on their turf, they feel like they're in control.
Let's chill over here.
It's gonna make them sort of let down their guard a little bit and be more likely to open up.
You still got it.
A little bit, dude.
All the physical sports and activities, if my heart was into it, dude, I got good at it - Yeah, yeah.
- And I excelled very quickly.
- Yeah.
- Just like I started selling drugs.
My heart was into it, I saw I was making money, dude.
I excelled very, very quickly.
So you're very smart.
You're very self-aware.
It's just sort of like, why? Why are you dealing drugs carrying a gun around, all that stuff? See, that that's the thing that kills me.
Like what I'm doing now is, I'm driving myself away from everything good.
Yep.
And just, like, choosing everything bad.
But I go home late at night to a mom that's worried sick, hasn't heard from me in hours, and you know what I feel? I feel like (bleep), dude.
So here's the interesting thing to me about you It's like you got these two dogs inside of you.
- You got, like, the good dog, the bad dog - Thank you.
Thank you.
And wh-whichever one you feed thrives Thank you.
And whichever one you starve dies.
It did seem like he genuinely cared.
He's been in similar predicaments and situations, so he understands where I'm coming from.
It was pretty comforting.
I've learned, if I feed that bad dog, bad things happen.
When I feed the good dog, at first, it feels weird, but eventually, that feels normal.
Everything, right now, you're doing, feeds that bad dog.
'Cause it's what feels natural to me right now.
I used to have parents, adults, teachers telling me, like, "you know what, dude? You're just a rotten seed.
" Like, "you're just you're just that bad," you know what I mean? That Let me be clear.
That's That bad bad title stays with you.
I do not believe that about you.
You're not destined to be this way.
You weren't born a criminal.
You weren't born doing this sort of stuff.
Tell me what you're prepared to change to make a different life for yourself.
The environment I put myself in, the group of friends I ch you know what I mean? I hang out with, I associate with, I chill with.
And what about the drugs? I mean, are you open to giving that up? Do you Yeah, I'm very open to giving that up.
For you, man, everything has to change.
Everything.
Yeah.
Everything, dude.
Everything has to change.
I'm going to put you through an exhaustive process this week.
I bet.
But ultimately, it comes down to you.
It's your choice.
It's your call.
If you want to change your life, it's on you.
I'm cool with that.
- All right.
- I'll accept that.
All right, man.
All right, dude.
Here's to a good week.
We'll see how it goes.
He's one of the more direct kids that I've worked with.
The other thing was how comfortable he is talking about his own issues and how prepared he was to do that right from the get-go.
It's those sorts of clues that make me think that he really does want this.
The next part of my process is to go meet with Dayne's parents and search his room with them.
By searching a kid's room, it tells me exactly what's going on in a kid's life What sort of choices they're making, what's going on in their head, what's going on in their heart, what's going on in their mind.
So this is Dayne's room? Mm-hmm.
He we had remodeled our house, and he took over his sister's room.
It's not exactly what I would've pictured.
No.
That stuff that I did bring from his bedroom, he didn't want to put up.
He said "just put it away," - like he didn't - Yeah.
- Had no interest in it anymore - Yeah.
You know? Didn't want to show them.
All right.
Let me have a look over here.
It really wasn't his room.
It was just sort of this space that he's renting to a certain degree.
He's sort of a visitor in that house.
I mean, something like this is of concern to me.
Essentially, it's something he could use to sniff who knows what? Oh, my God.
It looks like these are some sort of pill that he's emptied out and and, you know, sniffed.
Been a pretty common theme.
I never knew he was doing that.
So I didn't expect to find this much stuff, simply because this is just sort of a room that seems vacant of him.
Mm-hmm.
I think the biggest discovery here is how removed Dayne is from this room, and therefore, perhaps, he feels from this home.
I am well, I certainly don't want him to feel like he's not a part, you know? I mean, I I thought that we, you know, made him feel a part.
I don't This is a very discouraging day for them, because what I'm doing today is forcing them to take inventory of their life.
If he's not invested in this family, then he's not going to respond to their parenting, and so obviously, that creates a concern and a challenge for these parents.
Now I understand you've been through a lot of frustrations, but part of my job here this week is to is to challenge you guys on on things that I I think you should be challenged on.
So then, Mike, talk to me a little bit about the relationship.
I know the relationship is Yeah, well Maybe actually nonexistent.
I've lowered my expectations.
I just expected a lot more from him.
And so do you feel like you've kind of kind of like washed your hands of him to a certain degree? Absolutely.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
The fact of the matter is, you don't have to be his dad to be his father figure.
And a kid like Dayne desperately needs a father figure.
You're probably the best role model of manhood he has in his life.
And I understand that you negotiate a bit with Dayne.
I do.
That's gotta stop.
Yes.
When you negotiate with a kid, you are training him to be a manipulator.
- You are saying, "if you can be persuasive enough" - Mm-hmm.
"Then I'll fold.
" I'm always folding.
Yeah.
I always fold because I can't handle the stress he pla He won't he won't let up.
So this has to be an area where you draw the line in the sand and you say, "no more.
I'm not gonna negotiate.
" Make one request.
Don't nag.
Don't lecture.
One request.
And if he does it, "appreciate that.
Thank you.
" If he doesn't, there's a consequence.
He doesn't Care about consequences.
That's that's a big that's a huge problem.
Mm-hmm.
Part of the job of consequences is that it helps a kid to become mad at themselves and their choices instead of you.
Let's say he breaks the door, all right? That's something that's happened before.
You're gonna remove the door from his room.
All right? Second thing He's gonna pay for that door.
And it's his issue, not yours.
He needs to right the wrong.
Right.
With a teen this at risk, you absolutely have to have a plan of action that includes predetermined consequences.
- Okay.
- This is crucial.
Is it uncomfortable to write down the rules and regulations? Is it uncomfortable to enforce them? Yes.
Is it inconvenient? Yes.
Burying your son Tragic, life-altering, game-changing.
Nothing could be worse.
Show me.
Use it.
Work it.
You quittin' on us? Yeah, I (bleep) broke.
Congratulations, Josh Shipp.
- Listen, Dayne - Now you can (bleep) leave.
Dayne is a really angry kid.
Anger in and of itself is not a bad thing, but the way he is using it is destroying him.
Oh, I lots and lots.
Huh.
Dayne, what's up, dude? - How you doing? - Good.
So today your process really begins.
I want to introduce you to Rick.
This is Dayne, who I was telling you about.
- Nice to meet you, man.
How you doin'? - Nice to meet you.
All right, so Rick specializes in working with teens who have anger issues.
And he's gonna take you through some practices that really show you how your anger is actually hurting you.
- Let me invite you on in.
Come on in, my friend.
- Okay.
Shannon, you'll stay with me.
That's a good thing, all right? When you get angry and you hurt yourself, is that productive? - No.
- It's bad, right? You get angry, you hurt someone else, is that productive? It makes you feel better for a moment, right? All right, but then what's gonna happen down the road? Payback's a bitch.
You got it.
I'm gonna put you through some things today, and give you some alternatives for where to put that anger.
So what I want you to do, whatever's making you pissed, take it out on Joe.
He's gonna take you through a few drills, see if we can, uh, kind of get to the bottom line of that that anger and show you how that isn't the best way to handle things.
- All set? - Okay.
Your left hand's going here.
Your right hand's going here.
Okay, one, two.
One, two.
Jab, jab.
Good.
That's it.
Come on.
Come on.
Go for the belly.
Go.
Jabs to the belly.
Come on.
Everything you got.
Come on.
Come on.
Everything you got.
Go.
Work.
You're angry.
You're angry.
Show it.
Use it.
Work it.
Come on.
Work.
Work.
Come on.
Go to work.
Go.
Come on.
Come on.
Breathe.
Come on.
All right? Breathe.
Get those hands up.
I used two hands, right? Come on.
Work.
- Oh.
- Come on, Dayne.
Turn around.
Turn around and hit it.
Hit it, hit it.
Come on.
Go.
Go.
Come on.
Dig in.
Dig in.
Cut.
Can't do it? You quittin' on us? Yeah.
Pfft.
Man.
When things got difficult, he just crumbled and folded and became helpless.
You quittin'? Come on.
Come on.
Work.
Go.
Get your anger out.
When he feels like he can't win, he can't dominate, he can't be in control, then he just stops.
Come on.
You don't wanna do it? Can't do any damage.
You can't do any damage? Why? Why why do you need to do these pads.
I ain't doing (bleep).
This is the thing was, I've gotta get him out of his comfort zone and get him to realize that he can push past it.
You got passion.
You're pissed right now.
I'm (bleep) heated.
Yeah, that's right.
But you know what? I want you to get that fury and then I want you to I want you to learn how to redirect it.
- Work a couple of the drills with Rick.
- Okay? He'll show you something.
Do it slow.
See it.
Do it.
- We'll slow it down, man.
We'll slow it down.
- Do it.
Slow it down.
Everyone else cares more about him doing this than Dayne does himself.
I didn't volunteer for this, none of that.
Yeah, but we volunteered.
We volunteered.
We volunteered.
We're for you, to help you.
- That's the bottom line.
- So at least let us mold you a little bit.
Yeah.
Start hitting, man.
I won't even hit you back.
I'm just gonna defend it.
The problem is, they had to keep lowering the bar to actually get him to participate.
Just throw.
Just do it.
I-I yeah, I swear.
I won't I ain't gonna hurt you.
He's not gonna hit you back.
Go ahead.
All right.
Whoa.
They did it.
They got him back.
All right.
Oh.
All right? Good.
Whew.
Yeah.
There you go.
I'm too winded for this.
All right.
I'm way too winded for this.
- You just remember this - 30 seconds.
Take 30 seconds.
You got so much emotion, it's burning you up.
You're holding your breath.
You're trying to kill me.
Okay? When you when you have all that anger, all that emotion, it's controlling you.
Right? You let your brain control your body, right? Not the other way around.
You can do it.
I wish you the best.
Hope to see you again.
All right.
Nice meeting you.
My pleasure.
Nice meeting you, man.
- Pleasure meeting you.
- Pleasure, man.
My intention was to show Dayne a way to channel his anger into something productive.
But the thing to me that was surprising and concerning was just that when it got difficult, he kind of gave up.
I mean, if this is the way things are gonna go, this is not looking good at all.
This is your reality.
Everything in your life is gonna be painful.
It started off all fine and (bleep) Dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
Dude, you can throw your fits and get your way with everyone else, and if you're not gonna commit, I'm out.
I'm done.
15-year-old Dayne is not only a gun-carrying thug, but he's also a drug addict.
- Hi, Sherry.
- Hi.
I need to show him where the path he's walking could eventually lead.
- Hi, Sherry.
- This is Dayne, who I was telling you about.
- Hi.
Hi, Dayne.
- How are you? - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- His mom Shannon.
- Hi, Sherry.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Shannon.
Nice to meet you.
All right, so Sherry is from San Diego.
And I asked her to fly here to share her story with the two of you.
So, Sherry, take it away.
I-I understand a little bit from Josh that you've been using drugs.
And so I'm gonna tell you a story about my son Aaron.
This is Aaron.
He was happy and a tremendous athlete.
And I understand you are baseball? - Indeed.
- Yes.
Great at baseball, but he enjoyed all kinds of sports.
But all the while, unbeknownst to us, he was using drugs.
Aaron used every drug there is cocaine, meth, somas, shooting up, taking pills.
If you did five of whatever you were doing, he'd do ten.
Unfortunately, Aaron thought that being healthy on the outside would protect him on the inside.
But yet, it doesn't.
That's the thing about drugs.
They take over you.
When he was 23, he was partying with a bunch of friends, drinking, taking pills.
We go to breakfast every Sunday morning, so my husband was calling his cell phone.
And the cell phone alerted the mom to Aaron.
She went over to Aaron.
He was blue Nonresponsive.
This is where abuse of drugs will lead you.
Would you like to meet my son? Yeah? Okay.
Dayne, this is Aaron.
Because of Aaron's overdose and his coma, he can't speak.
Ha.
But he will contribute today, answering one for yes and two for no.
Dayne, what's going on in your mind, dude? It's, like, a trip.
I couldn't imagine.
I c I couldn't imagine myself like that, you know? But it can happen.
I think sometimes, to really understand what someone's going through, you have to walk a mile in their shoes.
I want you to spend some time in Aaron's shoes, and so I have something for you.
That's your chair.
Hop in there.
There's a seat belt up here.
We're also gonna strap on the braces Aaron had to wear during physical therapy.
Okay.
So for the next day, this is your reality.
I want you to go through what he has to live so hopefully this never becomes your future.
Um All right.
Will someone wipe my face at least? When you go home, you're gonna have to have help brushing your teeth, you're gonna have to have help eating dinner.
You're gonna have to have help getting up the stairs.
Literally everything in your life is gonna be painful.
Will you do it? Yeah.
I think you just saved my life.
He's giving you a thumb's up and yes.
So You think you can do it? I don't know, mom.
Mom, my arm's getting wicked red.
Stop moving it.
I can't help it.
Can't even (bleep) move.
M-mom, this thing is is too much.
I'm getting anxiety bad.
Extreme would be being in a coma.
You have the power to not make this permanent.
For Aaron, his motto was "go big or go home.
" And you have to be careful what you wish for.
Now he's home.
All right, guys.
Thanks for sharing your story, Aaron.
I hope this sinks in for you.
You've gotta stick to your commitment.
This is not a game.
I-I want you to experience this for the next 24.
- I'll be in touch, all right, guys? - Great.
Thank you, Josh.
- All right.
You guys have a good evening.
- Okay.
I don't know how I'm gonna get you in the car.
I knew that staying in the wheelchair and braces was gonna be tough for both Dayne and Shannon, and I needed to see how they would handle this on their own, 'cause guess what.
If this really happened, they would be handling it of their own.
I feel I feel like a puppet.
Put the braces on.
I want to go.
Mom, yeah What about th these things can come off.
No, they stay on.
Ma, do what? They stay on.
Just put these back on.
Come on.
(Bleep) you.
Let's go.
I-I need to get home.
I'm tired.
I didn't know I was I can't lift him.
There's no way.
I can't lift you.
No, you can't.
All right.
So just get in the car, then.
My rules were very clear.
All right.
If Dayne needed to get out of the chair, Shannon was supposed to help him.
And at this point, neither of them are following my rules.
Oh (Bleep) you.
I should've never done this.
A mental war is so much greater than a physical war, so much greater.
That bad dog doesn't want to change.
He wants he wants to stay there.
He doesn't want to leave.
This is so freakin' stressful, dude.
I knew it was gonna be a long day.
I didn't know it was gonna be a mad (bleep) long night.
It's gonna interfere with what I want to do after I do all this bull (bleep) for who? At this point, I don't even feel like I'm doing this for me.
Honestly, dude, I don't.
And if my heart's not in it, then my heart's not in it.
I don't know what to tell you.
I've had it up to here.
No one said it was gonna be easy.
What the ma, you're not the one, like, doing all this, dude.
Like you don't You've made it this far.
Yeah, ma, it started off all fine and (bleep) dandy, dude.
Now it's not.
- Now it's not.
- Dayne, I'm telling you right now Look, I have bad anger.
- I don't care.
- I don't know what the (bleep) to tell you.
- I don't care.
You're not - Oh, you don't care? - Stop swearing.
Stop swearing.
- You don't care? You don't (bleep) care? Neither do I.
Neither do I.
I'm asking you to stop swearing.
Have some respect.
Dayne, I-I have the stuff.
Will you just please do it? Nah, no.
(Bleep) that, dude.
No.
- I'm willing to do it.
- No, yeah, yeah, you're willing to do it.
I could have my wine and my dinner and just relax - Yeah, dude, I could have my percocets - But I'm doing this for us.
- And my (bleep) cool.
- I'm doing this for us.
Dayne I'm a dog so (bleep) this.
(Bleep) all this, man.
- Dayne, come here for a second.
- Nah.
Dayne.
Dayne, you need to stop.
Dayne, I'm the only lifeline that you really have left.
This whole thing I feel like a (bleep) hamster.
I'm not a (bleep) hamster, nor am I an experiment.
I'm not a (bleep) puppet and I will not be taken advantage of, period.
- He wants to see how it goes, that's fine.
- Dayne, listen to me - We saw how it goes.
- Listen to me.
- And I (bleep) broke.
Congratulations, Josh Shipp.
- Listen - Congratu (Bleep) lations.
- Dayne - No, no.
- Look (Bleep) all that.
- Dayne, please.
- Look, this has nothing to do with my sobriety And me getting clean, me laying in this (bleep) bed.
Nothing.
It was too hard for him today.
I don't know what to do at this point.
Hey, dude.
Why aren't you in the wheelchair? - Seriously, dude.
- Seriously, dude I asked one day of you.
Look, I'm down with the sobriety thing, dude.
I'm more than down to get sober.
All right.
Because me meeting Aaron, I'm not touching drugs.
All right.
I don't want to end up like Aaron, but, like, I got a feel for it, dude, I sat in the wheelchair but I asked you to give me one day in the chair.
I've been in chains all day, dude.
I get it.
It's hard.
I'm an anxious kid.
I got anger out the ass.
Dude, you throw your fits and get your way with everyone else.
That's not gonna happen.
You know exactly what I asked of you.
I'm not gonna negotiate.
Dayne.
And if you're not gonna commit, I'm not playing I'm out.
I'm done.
So the ball's in your court.
Are you in this or not? Dayne, please.
If he's not willing to do this, maybe he's not ready.
If you let him walk out that door, then I'm washing my hands.
That's it.
Freaking unbelievable.
I asked you to give me one day in the chair.
And I-I-I think I've been pretty pretty compliant.
You haven't been, clearly, but you gave me your word.
I have been, but I'm emotionally done.
- Dayne.
- I don't know.
You've put all this work in to quit? Yeah no, I didn't put all this work in to quit.
I put all this work in because I need the help.
Well, here's the help, dude.
Put on the braces and get back in the chair.
I can't, dude.
I can't.
If you're not in, I'm out.
And I'm not playing.
No one has drawn the line in the sand for this kid.
So I have to be the one to do it.
You're facing this crap I get it, it sucks.
But you knew this coming in.
You knew this was part of the program.
I didn't know to this extent.
The reason that I ask these kids to do difficult things is 'cause, do you not think, like, getting off drugs is gonna be insanely difficult? This is why I'm demanding this of Dayne.
If he's not willing to do this, then he's not ready.
You want to help me? Find a way to help me that suits me.
My process is my process.
I do not negotiate.
If you're in, you're in, and you gotta do it my way.
Let me be clear.
Once I step off this porch, this process is over.
- It's two days.
- I'm not gonna negotiate.
What do you want to do? I can't do it.
You're done? So be it.
Dayne, you know you need his help.
You know you need it.
If you let him walk out that door, then I'm washing my hands.
That's it.
I'm not kidding.
I'm that kid that maybe you can't get through to.
We'll get out of here.
I wish you the best.
All right.
Let's get outta here.
I'm not kidding.
Let's go.
Un-freaking-believable.
Although I believe this decision is 100% the right thing, it still makes me sick to my stomach.
What, you think I want to leave? You think I want to walk away from him? You think I want to wash my hands of him? Hell, no.
And how am I gonna tell his mom all day long, "don't negotiate," and then I'm gonna negotiate? Just, like, freaking unbelievable.
This is how it works sometimes.
Can't give a kid want to.
Until they want to, ain't nothing gonna change.
Tomorrow we go home.
So I still haven't heard from Dayne.
I thought he would've called.
If something was life or death, as this is, you would do whatever it took.
You would get up early.
You would not go to bed until you made it right.
And he has not done such.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure we're done here.
Now apparently he's asking his mom for help putting his braces on.
Apparently he's gonna call me, but, you know, he's gonna give me some sort of speech or sob story or excuse or something, but I mean, at this point, it's too little, too late.
That option is off the table.
If he is really serious about this, then I have an even tougher challenge for him.
Hello.
Dayne? Yeah.
Hi.
I don't know if you're still on board with this, but I'm willing to do this.
I'm gonna be honest with you, dude.
It's it's it's a little scary.
You know what I mean? You make that transition from being set in your ways for 15 years to changing your ways for the better.
Here's where I'm at.
I'm not willing to continue my process with you.
You made your choice last night on the porch.
And you have to live with the consequences of that choice.
But there is one last option that I'd like to offer you.
This option is gonna be a lot harder than just spending a day in a wheelchair, and frankly, at this point, I'm not sure if you're ready for it.
Okay.
I would be willing to help you out if you could do the following for the next 30 days I would need you to surrender that gun to your parents I need you to do that today I would need you to surrender all of your drugs to your parents, and quit using drugs and alcohol for the next 30 days, and I would also suggest that you and your mom work together to get you into a detox and rehab program.
I would need you to be willing to take weekly random drug tests, and I'd need you to stop verbally abusing your family and stop destroying their property.
Okay.
Now if you can commit to these things over the next 30 days, I would still be willing to help you out by giving you the aftercare program that I personally designed for you before all this went down.
But let me be clear.
If I get a report from my team that you've broken any of these requests that I have, my offer is off the table, and you're gonna have to find another way to get help.
All right.
So are you willing to do those things over the next month? I'm more than willing to do those things over the next month.
All right.
Look, dude, I-I want nothing more than to help you.
You know, this is not me turning my back on you.
This is not me giving up on you.
This is not me saying "no" to you.
It's just saying "not right now.
" At this point, you gotta prove it.
And if you do, I'm here for you, dude, for the long haul.
But if you're not, I can't help you.
All right.
Okay? I'm there.
All right, man.
I'll be checking in on you.
All right.
Thank you.
Yeah.
See you.
Yeah, it'll be a challenge.
A lot more than the challenge of doing this 24 hours, I can tell you that.
But but if I want it, then these 30 days, I'm sober.
So If not, I'm gonna be a statistic.
"Oh, yeah, he was a good kid, but He got murdered," they're gonna say.
If I want to change, I'll do it.
And I do want to change.
I'm not giving up.