The Artful Dodger (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

1
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
- Mornin', Albert.
- ALBERT: Good morning.
Tessie.
What the hell kind of
game is this, Fagin?
Well done, you. Yes.
You outfoxed the old fox.
All them drills in your
tender years paid off perfect.
What are you playing at?
I'm just taking my morning
constitutional maintenance of health.
At my years, it's vital,
so I take a daily amble
down here to Darius' gaff.
Who did you think was
gonna open that door?
Darius is in prison.
MONKS: Hello, Dodger. Been a few years.
DODGER: Who's this?
Don't remember me? It's Monks.
Monks?
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
FAGIN: Hey, gentlemen!
You've blown away your old
gripes. Are we all friends again?
What's this murdering
bastard doing here, Fagin?
This is the man who tried
to murder his own brother!
Half-brother. Half-brother.
And to be fair, was that so wrong?
I mean, Oliver Twist was always
such an insufferable little prat.
At least Monks here had the
tenacity to give it a shot.
(SIGHS) I heard you
got scragged in Canada.
They tried hard enough,
just not quite long enough.
Joy for me is, they ain't
allowed to hang me twice.
But I heard youse escaped
prison nigh on 15 years ago.
Escaped convict playing doctors now.
That's gotta be an issue
were it ever discovered.
FAGIN: Now, oi! Now
Before you extinguish each other,
I think there is a little
encouragement I should offer.
Now, for some time, I have
been rummaging up a gambit
that I was gonna surprise
you with for your birthday.
When is my birthday?
I don't know. The upshot being
that we, me, you and Mr. Monks here,
end up considerably richer
than that miserable little biddy
sitting in Buckingham Palace.
Don't let me see him again.
'Cause if I do, he's dead.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
That didn't go as bad
as I thought it might.
He'll come around.
Now, show me these explosives.
The explosives are stuck in Customs
'cause you got Darius bunged in prison.
Right.
I think it's time a kindly
benefactor interceded on his behalf.
CROOKY: Thursday is
your big day, isn't it?
Who are you facing?
Judge Micawber.
Shame.
And all because I rogered Gaines' wife.
I've shackled a hundred wives in
my time. Never a problem, until her.
I'm glad I never shackled
that woman. (CHUCKLES)
Not that I would or
could, being a man of God.
You never can tell what's gonna
get you in the end, can you?
Well, in your case, the rope.
Positive side is, it'll happen quickly.
I am grateful for that.
The neck snaps, bit of a shudder,
eyes bulge, a little more shudder,
and then, you will be at peace.
Yeah, I've seen how it works.
Mind you, you've got a thick neck.
Might not snap immediately.
It can take a while.
You are an enormous comfort to me.
Well, let us pray for a
quick snap and a shudder.
Dear Lord, we pray for our
friend, Darius Cracksworth,
who erred in the way of the trouser
and we beseech Thee for a
quick snap and a shudder.
- Amen.
- Amen.
It's such a shame, Your Honour,
to see a man like Mr. Cracksworth,
who has personally done so
much for the cause of women
and normally have such
impeccable moral standards,
reduced by such a small priapic lapse.
I trust you are not about to bribe me.
What, and risk destroying my chances of
becoming a free man in 18 short years?
No, sir.
The integrity of the law is sacrosanct,
which is why I sought you out
as an incorruptible learned man.
I was wondering if you knew anything
about the value of precious rubies.
Drop me off up the road a
little! I need to buy some items.
No, you don't.
You're going to the hospital
to see your paramour.
- I am not.
- Yes, you are.
I've followed you.
It's all right, I won't tell.
I think it's terribly exciting.
It is a little.
- Please, not a word.
- Sister's promise.
And I know you've been kissed before.
Do you just?
I've only ever kissed Dr. Sneed
and he was unconscious at the time
and his lips were swollen.
I didn't feel any real
butterflies. Is that normal?
It is often the case when
kissing comatose people.
I've been practicing on a banana.
What, exactly, on a banana?
Kissing. It is sort of
the same shape as a lip.
Why?
Because, in the next few days, a
ship will arrive with a man on it.
Yes, not uncommon in a harbour town,
where men outnumber us eight to one.
One man in particular. He's
with the Bank of Great Britain,
and by all reports, someone
of outstanding virtue.
Mother said she is happy to see me
marry, even if it means me going away,
and Father said he's prepared
to offer a very generous dowry.
- He might be a perfect bore.
- Please.
Belle, you're speaking
about the man I love.
(SNICKERS)
If the virtuous man from the
Bank of Great Britain kisses you,
you will know if he's the one for you.
It will feel like nothing
else on this earth.
We have to stop.
- Yes, of course.
- They will suspect.
Mmm.
Later.
If you've finished looking for bandages,
they've vanished, along with
stethoscopes and scalpels.
And there's a patient needing attention.
I have this tonic for Mr.
Cracksworth from the young doctor.
Keep him nice and
chipper for when he hangs.
Makes it more enjoyable for the crowd.
Oh, for a pistol or a blade!
I'm sharing this place
with enough vermin already.
Hurtful. I'll shuffle off then, will I?
Let me walk you out.
I was gonna offer you a dusting of
hope, but I can see I'm not wanted.
What hope?
Have you known many women in the past?
Why, yes, I have known many women.
I see women every day.
No, I mean in a physical way.
Yes.
No, I mean, have you had
congress with another woman?
I'm not judging.
What happened in the
past is your business.
- But have you?
- Had congress?
- BELLE: Mmm.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
Do you mean sex?
Yes, I suppose so.
Well, then, yes, many times.
Oh.
I was a sailor.
- And also, I am 28.
- Right.
So, I'm just another one of many, am I?
Well, no.
'Cause we haven't had congress.
Fine.
Fine. No, fine.
I just needed to be clear
if I was wasting my time, and Um
Fine, I see that I am.
Hang on. What happened
to the not judging part?
Who's judging? I'm not judging.
But you do need to know that it
will not happen unless I'm married.
Yeah, that's not very
likely then, is it?
Why? Am I not worthy of congress?
The world will never
allow us to marry, Belle.
You are the Governor's daughter.
You misjudge my family.
My mother is your greatest supporter.
She fought for you to get this job.
She'll support me,
if I'm not to be one of many.
You have unnerved me more than
any other woman I have ever met.
Is that a good thing?
You fill me with equal
parts joy and dread.
Damn you.
Same.
"Damn you" right back.
Went to the hospital this morning.
We're considering setting
up a clinic for women.
Sterling idea, darling.
That surgeon there is quite brilliant.
You clearly can't be
talking about the professor.
But Rainsford Sneed
seems up to the task.
No, the other one, Jack Dawkins.
Jack Dawkins.
Well, he didn't exactly cover
himself in glory at the dinner.
Perhaps we should invite him again.
He seemed very apologetic
and quite personable.
LADY JANE: Is this
the same personable man
who challenged another guest
to a fist fight over the soup,
and then followed it up with a duel?
So I think he's much changed.
- Anything that I should
- No.
Right. Your other daughter wants
us to organise an intimate dinner
for this chap from the
Bank of Great Britain.
Can't wait.
Yes, well, he does come with
the most impeccable credentials.
An Eton man. Not a bad
word to be said about him.
And the Bank certainly wouldn't entrust
a shipment of gold back to London
to a man of lesser quality.
And if he's prepared to marry
our Fanny, then all to the good?
Mmm. Then it would seem both our
daughters have their eyes cast on
personable men.
FAGIN: All right.
Slow down. Aputi, slow
down. It's very fragile.
Now, Timmy knocked it up.
Let me show you. You hold that.
Now you're gonna lower that through
the hole, hook it, and then, reel it.
Reel it in.
Aputi, you're a former whaler.
Why am I teaching you
how to hook a bloody fish?
- Why can't we just go in the front door?
- Because the manhole is up there.
Now, you're gonna squeeze
into the ceiling space,
drop that through the hole,
hook it It's simple.
Now, come on. The sun
will be up in a minute.
What's that stupid contraption?
Hello, Redfordshire.
Running late 'cause of
your little squawker?
Keira's with her aunties.
This will never work.
How strong is this rope?
(RUSTLING)
Did you hear that?
I definitely heard something.
CROOKY: Who is there?
APUTI: Look up, for God's sake!
(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
I am telling you, I
saw what I saw, Captain,
and I scarce believe it.
GAINES: Am I to understand
there has been a theft?
No. Not at all.
I'm sharing a vision most
splendid with you, Captain.
Now, this morning, in the
wee hours, around 5:00 a.m.,
He spaked to me.
Who spaked?
Him.
Thusly, in a deep manly
voice, saying unto me,
"Look up, for God's sake!"
And behold, I saw an angel.
Arms outstretched, ascending
to the very heavens.
I take it, the altar
wine was all finished?
I would've thought the same thing,
unless I'd seen it with my own eyes.
I never really bought what I preached.
I was really drawn to the priesthood
because of a gambling debt.
Free accommodation and the cassocks.
Until this morning.
I am a great believer
that all destiny is guided.
I take it there was no
witness to this miracle?
As it happens, I was giving comfort
to one Molly Crutchley at the time.
She saw St. Coccyx ascend.
She will bear witness.
St. Coccyx. The name is familiar.
I wonder why St. Coccyx wanted
his relic back at 5:00 a.m.?
She.
St. Coccyx was a very holy woman.
I think she knew it was time
that the relic and the rubies
Rubies? Were they real rubies?
God would not accept cheap jewellery.
Describe the angel.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
Something a little less
sharp, I think, Rotty.
He sliced my throat with a knife.
- This one.
- Thank you.
Darius, how about we make
things all nice again?
Yeah, how about chopping
yer own neck off?
And?
Sorry for, uh, slashing your throat.
Lovely. Nice. Now we
can all be friends again.
Your heads is as empty
as the kegs after payday.
So, I suppose I'm in your debt.
Oh, yes. Heavily, I'd say.
What do you want?
GAINES: Stop, driver!
What is this about, Captain?
It is more a question for your daughter
about a recent death
at the hospital, milady.
Why on earth would my daughter
know anything about that?
Because she helped deliver a
bastard child the other night.
- She what?
- No, I didn't.
GAINES: You didn't?
I failed to deliver
a beautiful baby girl.
Sadly, both mother and child died.
GAINES: Are you quite
certain the mother was dead?
No second thoughts on that question
with the benefit of reflection?
I know a dead body when I see one.
I admit I do struggle in your case.
Drive on.
I thought you were rolling bandages
and reading to the unfortunates.
Driver, take Lady Belle home.
My best guess is that Mr. O'Grady
here has a large intestinal
worm that's feeding off
of everything he eats.
- HETTY: So, what will you do?
- DODGER: Nothing.
Don't feed him for two days,
then lower his trousers,
place a large piece of
rotting meat down wind
and point his shithole towards it.
The worm will figure which way to go.
Milady.
My daughter is greatly taken by
your surgical skills, Dr. Dawkins.
Well, she's very gifted herself.
She's very interested
in all things anatomical.
So I'm beginning to understand.
I invested a great deal of
energy and time to place you here.
And I'm enormously grateful, ma'am.
And I can see that
you're a gifted surgeon
and an asset to this hospital and town.
And I will support you in that role.
Thank you again, milady.
It is, however, an
entirely different matter
of someone of your
station and background
to spend time with my daughter,
whose bloodline goes
back to the Conqueror.
At the risk of sounding blunt,
we are pursuing a suitable partner
for Belle in marriage, Doctor.
It's not about mindless infatuation.
Am I making myself clear?
- You are beginning to.
- Good.
Lady Belle will stay
away from the hospital
and she will marry someone
of status and wealth,
not a glorified butcher.
And what if she doesn't
agree with this view?
You will not speak a word
of this to my daughter
or your time here will be
finished, do you understand?
So, I have no say in this?
What am I expected to do when
she turns up here at the hospital?
Perhaps follow the same advice
you gave to the intestinal worm
and encourage her to leave.
DARIUS: You do realise that what
you're proposing is impossible?
I hear that a lot.
Gaines has eyes on you
every hour of the day.
- And me, too, now.
- Right.
And I need you as the newly
returned government's Customs Officer
to do me two wincy things.
First, a crate of, shall
we say, "explosive matter,"
sent over here by me dear Auntie Beatrix
sits on your wharf and
I have need of it, right?
And the second thing?
In two weeks' time, when HMS
Fortitude sets sail from the harbour,
bound for the Blessed Mother, I'll
need you to arrange another vessel
to take me clean away from
this armpit of a place.
(CHUCKLES)
All right. What are we doing?
Appendectomy.
I read that if you use a reverse cut
I have it, thanks. I don't
need your help with this one.
Perhaps I can
I really don't have
time to train you today.
To train me?
So, you are doing an abdominal surgery,
Hetty here is spraying
to avoid infection.
Everyone in the room who introduced
ether and carbolic
acid to this hospital,
raise your hand.
Oh. Right, that would be me.
Are you done trying to prove
that you're far superior
to everybody in this room
or may I be allowed to
continue with this surgery?
What's gotten into you?
Hetty, please show the
Governor's daughter out,
I prefer to work alone today, thank you.
(MEN LAUGHING)
Sod off, the bloody lot of you! Go on!
What just happened in there?
- Nothing.
- No, that wasn't nothing.
You just tried to humiliate
me in front of people.
Then you are getting a good
sense of how my lot feel
when your lot deign speak to us.
I shouldn't have to
apologise for my station
any more than you should for yours.
My station? That matters, does it?
What happened to me unnerving you?
Hmm?
That's the problem, isn't it?
This is all far too complicated
and I have simply realised
that I am more comfortable
unattached, with nothing to tie me
down or distract me from my work.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Leaves me free
for a fuller relationship with
someone less morally loose.
Is all well, darling?
Yes, fine. Fine!
What exactly are you doing?
Oh, I think I'm going to burn them,
as I'm tired of looking at pictures
of stupid men's heads on the walls.
Leave them be, please.
Why have people who
make our lives a misery
stare at us from the walls all day?
It's better than talking to them.
FAGIN: So, now you'll be a partner?
What is all this stuff?
Recent acquisitions.
May I ask what has brought about
this wonderous change of heart?
Doesn't matter. There's
nothing here for me anymore.
This calls for a celebratory libation.
- Is this all hospital stuff?
- No, it's from everywhere.
- Oh! That's got a cheeky bite.
- That's surgical alcohol.
Is it? It's lovely. Medicinal.
Healing from the insides.
Now, bend your lugholes this way.
A sealed chest is currently
making its way here
under heavy guard from
the gold fields of Ballarat
bound for Good Old Blighty,
whereupon it'll be turned into coinage
featuring the snooty
bonce of hers truly.
But it will never make it.
Three lady's parasols?
- Why, you ask? Why?
- I didn't.
Because we, me, you,
and a hand-selected team,
are gonna steal the gold shipment
from right underneath
their upturned sneeze boxes.
How long have these been
in here? It's disgusting.
Are these the missing bandages?
I needed something to wrap the
meat. Are you listening to me?
We're gonna grab the gold before
it journeys back to London.
That's my scalpel.
I needed it to cut my porky bags.
You're not giving due
weight to what I'm saying.
I heard you.
You plan on knocking
off a large shipment
of gold and you want
my help stealing it.
Yeah, that's about the measure of it.
The same level of difficulty as
robbing the Bank of Great Britain.
No, it's bigger,
and the planning has been in my brain's
workhouse for well over a year now.
You didn't run into me
here by accident, did you?
I can't tell you the
ructions I went through
to get myself transported here.
Deliberately getting arrested.
Now, that went against
me nature, I can tell ya.
What possessed you?
- You could've died on the way over here.
- Yeah.
I needed you.
My dream is to make me and you
richer than all the toffs who
have made our lives such a misery
over the passage of years.
And I've got a foolproof plan.
Concocted by a fool.
I admire your enthusiasm.
Afternoon, Doctor.
- Belle.
- Hetty.
So sorry to worry you. Can
I have a moment, please?
- Of course.
- Belle, can I have a word?
Belle.
What would you think about
a ward solely for women?
Where all women and their
children were welcome
and seen only by women.
- I think it would be wonderful.
- Yes.
And I think I know the
place. The south ward.
That's Dr. Dawkins' ward.
Oh, is it? He'll be fine.
- Belle, please may I have a word?
- Not now, a bit of a hurry.
I need to talk to you.
Look, whatever this is, can
I please not be part of it?
- I need to explain.
- No, you already did.
And you were right. So very right.
- I was?
- Yes.
I was forgetting the real
reason I came to this hospital.
To be a surgeon.
And that silliness, whatever that
was between us, was ridiculous.
And it was getting in the way.
You need to speak with your mother.
I speak to her every day.
I'm very grateful to you.
And in the future, it's "Lady Belle."
Fine! Fine!
Fine.
All the pigeons are now neatly
perched upon Nelson's stony shoulders.
(HORSE WHINNIES)
You look like you've seen
a ghost. What's wrong?
I think all them pigeons
just shat themselves.
Dodge, who in God's terrible universe
did the Bank of Great bloody
Britain decide to send here?
- How on earth would I know?
- Who is the wettest lettuce of all time?
I don't know, but I am with
a patient at the moment.
- No.
- Yes.
No. Please, no.
- Yes.
- No!
That's right. Oliver pissing Twist.
My goose is cooked. He
knows everything about us.
And he's so bloody honest.
He would see it as his moral duty
- to send us both to the peelers.
- Yes.
- Did he see you?
- No.
He was looking in my direction, but
I have aged something considerable.
You've looked the same
since you were born.
Like a bad piece of taxidermy.
Hurtful.
Sorry, crumbs.
Oliver Twist, Esquire?
Welcome, sir.
Your Excellency, the Governor.
Lady Jane.
This must be
Oh!
Forgive me, my breath was
momentarily held prisoner.
See, you told me your daughter
was passingly pretty, but this
vision (CHUCKLES)
Here is a variety of grass that
I am just excessively proud of.
- Right.
- I wonder,
could I tell you about
its maturation cycle?
Oh, but you must, Excellency,
I'm a great admirer of the sod.
Oh, you are? I'll just get a shovel.
If you're lucky, you often see
these very big furry animals
moving ever so slowly across the
lawns and digging giant holes.
Really? What super fun!
What are they called?
I don't know. But they make a
terrible mess of Mother's petunias.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- They're Clearly, loam deficient.
Unsuitable for marrows, more's the pity.
OLIVER: Oh. Shame.
Yes, my daughter here is insisting
we have a special dinner for you.
- Marvelous.
- Yes.
- Now
- I wonder,
I believe I saw from my carriage window,
an older man in ragged attire that
I might have known from London days.
- You have no idea
- I think his name was Fagin.
Oh, yes. Him.
He works for a surgeon
here, a Jack Dawkins.
Jack Dawkins is here? I knew
him by another name then.
I wonder, would it be a terrible
imposition to invite
Jack to the soirée?
He may not remember you,
but he will remember his
half-brother who tried to kill him.
We have invested far
too much to back out now.
Besides, it'd be nice to
see that nauseating galumpus
turn up in London with
an empty gold chest.
I ain't going near it.
You just have a carriage standing by
to take us nice and safe to the ship.
It's not like Nolly's
gonna be personally
standing over the gold all day long.
As long as he didn't recognise you,
we just keep out of sight and
make sure he doesn't see us.
And to hell with the bloody lot of them.
Now, the Bank has issued
me with only two keys.
Both are required to unlock it.
I shall wear one around
my neck on all occasions.
And the other, well, I
entrust to your good purpose.
Oh, yes, well, it, too, shall hang
around my neck and never leave me.
I shall bathe with it.
I shall sleep with it. It
shall be my constant companion.
- Then let's lock the door together.
- Yes.
You can rest easy, gentlemen.
There will be soldiers everywhere.
He clocked you.
The lettuce? How do you know?
'Cause I've been invited
back to Government House
for dinner tomorrow night.
Oh. This is good.
Heaven's opened its pearlies
and welcomed us inside.
No, I can't possibly attend. Oliver
will get me arrested on the spot.
No, he wouldn't invite you
to a feed and squeal on you.
He's a wonderful, decent man.
No. This is our moment.
You know what this is?
This is Julius Caesar
riding his wooden horse
through the gates of Troy.
Oliver Twist and the Governor
together at the same dinner.
I'm gonna have to bring things forward.
Now, let me lay it out
for you sweet and simple.
Our boy here walks bold as a cockerel
up to the front door of Government House
and instead of being
booted out on his ear,
he is welcomed in like royalty.
Dr. Dawkins.
This is a surprise of sorts.
OLIVER: Dodger?
(GASPS)
Well, tickle my cheeks
with a goose's feather!
Dodge here will mingle virtual
unnoticed by the hoi polloi,
making sure he don't draw
no attention to himself.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
GAINES: But I'm intrigued as to how
a man of your background, Mr. Twist,
met a man of his.
Please, may I have some more?
But of course. Your third helping.
I love the crunch of crackling.
The whiz and pop in one's mouth.
Well, this is such an interesting
story going back many years.
Eh, Dodger?
I doubt they really
want to hear about that.
Probably not. Please
don't let me stop you.
I'm most interested.
See, you have an audience.
OLIVER: Well, in a time of
great personal turmoil and peril,
this man, but a boy then,
took me in, sheltered me,
saved my very life.
But why do you call him "Dodger"?
It's because he dodges all
responsibility, I wonder?
Just a jest.
I was just very quick.
- (GASPING)
- Oh, dear. Not again, darling.
- One of you medics, do something!
- Dear.
Don't touch me.
With your permission, milady.
So, I've had these replica keys
knocked up by the lovely Tim
according to the specifics
of our redcoat on the inside,
so that when you snitch the real ones
From around their necks?
you replace them with these.
At a dinner party with a
dozen people watching me?
Right.
Be easier just to shoot 'em.
Nobody's shooting anyone.
RED: What, you prefer
hand-to-hand combat?
Bring 'em just in case.
Now, by 9:30 p.m., all the
toffs and these horned swallows
are usually sozzled on port,
half asleep in their armchairs,
with dribble oozing out
of their snoring noggins.
Oh, no. Damn it. Not
tonight. Bloody gout.
Then, I, too, shall
restrain myself, Governor.
Water with lemon, please.
DODGER: I'll need a
diversion of some sort.
But at precisely the right moment.
Then you shall have the mother
and uncle of all diversions
because Flashy here will
afford you a distraction
to confound all distractions.
FLASHBANG: Rockets, penny
bangers, reds, blues,
enough fireworks for
a Shanghai New Year.
FAGIN: Placed strategic on the
right side of the Governor's gaff.
They will go off at 10:00 on the knock
and the soldiers will hear a
commotion that will rattle their bowels
and they will rush off to the right side
like dogs chasing a bone,
thinking war is upon 'em,
leaving the left side open for us.
How long will it go for?
FLASHBANG: Twenty-five
glorious minutes.
RED: That's not long
enough for Jack, is it?
To a lesser thief, no.
But for him, enough time to snaffle
the keys, disappear into the tunnels,
pick the lock on the vault, let us in,
you cover the door, we grab the chest,
and we all set sail on the evening tide.
Jack?
It might just work.
Is Lady Belle all right?
Yes, my daughter, is she
- She will be fine.
- Good.
Women's problems, I fear.
- GOVERNOR: Right, yeah. Of course.
- LADY JANE: I'm sure she'll be fine.
I apologise.
But I have to speak a truth
I can no longer hold inside!
It's only been a day or so,
but I must speak the truth.
Yes!
- A hundred times, yes!
- OLIVER: I haven't asked yet.
Sorry, yes, go ahead.
FAGIN: What are you doing? Put it out.
It's just a little sparkler.
Your brain's just a little sparkler.
Get rid of it, there's
an hour and 50 to go.
Lady Fanny
- (BOMB EXPLODING)
- (ALL GASPING)
We're under attack. It's
coming from the town.
(YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
- Is it a rebellion?
- GAINES: Quite possibly, sir.
Or the French!
- Gentlemen, protect your lady folk.
- Yes.
Troops, with me.
Hurry!
Come, Mr. Sneed
What you gonna use, Dodge?
Duck, Play or Switch, or
the Fox Pocket Scramble?
No, I think I'll go for
the Blind Turtle Stretch.
DODGER: Take cover, sir.
The colony needs you more than I.
Take me instead, you bastards!
Here, come, sir. You
come on with me now.
A minute of fireworks an
hour and a half earlier,
a year of planning up the spout.
You have pissed on my vision.
What?
(MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
Fixed bayonets!
You're authorised to kill on sight!
If they're here, there's no
one guarding Government House.
Flashy, you are a genius.
You're a god. You're a weaver of magic.
It's the wrong time. We
haven't given Jack enough room.
No, you don't know Dodge.
Now, shift your limbs,
you mouldy rogues, it's on!
Pardon? What did he say?
What are you gonna use on
Oliver? He knows all our moves.
Yes, he's our main obstacle.
We may need to adapt with him.
Ah. I assume we're here for the same
reason. The crackling? (CHUCKLES)
While the ballyhoo is
going on, I thought I might
snaffle the last of it.
Exactly the same thought.
Nolly, look, you've got gravy
all down yourself. Give me that.
Thank you, Dodge.
Still looking after me.
My hands are greasier
than a fairground piglet.
I'm very proud of you.
You've eschewed a life of unsavouriness
for something entirely honourable.
And although we occupy very
different stations in life,
I regard you with the
affection of a brother.
Right, I should return to the women.
You did it, Dodge.
Yeah, of course I did. Come on.
- (BLOWS WHISTLE)
- (ALL YELLING)
- REDCOAT 1: What?
- REDCOAT 2: I'll be damned.
It's a ruse.
How hard was it, Dodge?
What moves did you use?
The Swaffling Rooster
or the Giddy Squirrel?
More like the Crackling Pushover.
Not familiar.
It was almost too easy.
- No, we've been done!
- We have to go now!
Come on.
No!
Guards!
Fire on any sign of movement.
Where the bloody hell's Monks?
- You go ahead.
- Where are you going?
- We've got to get to the boat.
- Just go!
Go!
I assume you had something
to do with this commotion.
Go away, or I will
scream the place down.
Come away with me tonight.
(SIGHS) I beg your pardon?
Oh, bugger!
Busy night, Mr. Fagin?
Have you gone completely mad?
Yes. I am completely mad.
I need you.
Yesterday, you seemed
to think otherwise.
Yesterday, I spoke with your mother
and she told me that I'd ruin your life
and then threatened to ruin mine.
Oh.
And you still want to run away with me?
More than anything.
Belle, when I wake up in the
mornings, all I can think of is you.
I close my eyes at
night, and there you are.
Belle, I cannot fashion
a life without you in it.
Are you telling me you
love me, Jack Dawkins?
- I don't know what that means.
- You do.
You just said it in your own words.
If you even feel half
the way I do about you
BELLE: I don't.
You don't?
I feel it 10 times more.
Then come away with me.
- We can't.
- We can.
We can, there is a
vessel leaving tonight
bound for the Pacific
Islands on the tide.
Couples like us can live there happily.
We can set up our own hospital.
You can work as a surgeon there.
Why? What is stopping us?
I'm dying, aren't I?
Jack?
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)