The Astronauts (2020) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[Griffin] Sorry, kids,
I'm afraid we have
some bad news.
Now, as you all know,
we were unable to assume
control of the ship
and turn it around.
Now, at this point,
the quickest option home
is a gravity-thrust maneuver
around Venus.
But that's in 15 days.
Yes.
We have made immense progress
with the Matilda issue,
and we are fully confident
that we will
tackle the problem before then.
You have to be kidding me!
Doria
It's okay, Dad.
I'll talk to her.
We should have a plan
ready to share
in the next few days.
Now, listen, in the meantime,
keep the faith.
We're gonna bring you home.
Mission Control, out.
Samy?
We're pushing them too hard.
Maybe it's time we stop making
promises that we can't keep.
We're not.
Singer's making
some serious headway
on how we can
deactivate Matilda.
We'll have control of the ship
within the next few days.
I'm not talking
about the nuts and bolts.
I'm talking about our kids.
Their sleep patterns are off.
Mood swings,
diminished attention
depression.
They're at each others' throats.
Exactly.
Their behaviors are erratic.
They're not thinking logically.
That spacewalk?
We explicitly told them
not to do it,
and they big-fat did it anyway.
Look, the only way
to deal with all of that
is to bring them home ASAP.
So you tell me, all of you
is there anything
we are not doing
to make that happen?
Okay, then.
[music playing]
Hi, I'm Rex Dowd,
and if you're watching
this video,
you're wrestling with
the most complex
and difficult complication
of a long space voyage,
crew morale.
The bulk of this video series
addresses technical problems
you might experience
on your journey,
but mark my words,
none of your ship's hardware
is as complex
as the human heart.
It'll take far more
than a simple turn of a wrench
to solve this most challenging,
and, if left unchecked,
most lethal,
of onboard issues.
Lethal?
[Dowd] For instance,
a colleague who exhibits
severe homesickness
or spends inordinate time
in isolation
may be experiencing
acute depression.
C'mon, Doria,
I'm bored.
Let's do something. Anything.
How about I go
to Dance Squad try-outs
and blow Ms. Mooney away
with my killer routine
to "Peek-A-Boo Bop"?
How about that?
Can we do that?
C'mon, get serious.
How's this for serious?
If those bozos on the ground
don't turn us around
by the time we get to Venus,
we'll be stuck up here
for another five months,
in this smelly tin can,
and I won't just miss try-outs,
I'll miss the whole program!
Yeah, I get it. It's
No. You don't get it!
Elliot, eighth grade
was supposed to be my year!
My year!
[Dowd] Another common
but potentially deadly pitfall
is interpersonal conflicts.
These can initially manifest
as petty bickering
Can you read?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, see, I, like,
took that as, like,
everyone but me.
Yeah, see, I read that as, like,
especially everyone but me.
Fine!
Have your stupid oatmeal.
Oh, no, no, no.
I wouldn't want the big hero
to miss out on his breakfast.
Maybe then you wouldn't be able
to save all our
sorry little butts.
I was joking!
Once is a joke, sure.
But saying it every ten minutes?
That's an attitude.
Am I right?
You know what?
You guys are full of it.
[Dowd] These minor squabbles
can easily lead
to resentment, hostility,
and in extreme cases,
what doctors refer to
as Acute Space Psychosis,
commonly known as space rage.
[echoing] Space rage.
Space rage. Space rage.
Something's definitely off with,
like, everybody.
I mean, I know we
gotta go on to Venus,
and that's stressful,
but this is more than
just the normal kind
of stress, you know?
I mean, like,
Martin's spacewalk,
we were, like, a full-on team.
But now it's just like
Doria's all in her room
all the time,
and Martin and Will
are at each other's throats
Can't you see
I am working here?
Just stop
talking!
Space rage.
[Dowd] On the ground,
these conflicts may
compromise productivity,
but up there?
They can easily prove fatal.
When pressure builds
and tempers flare,
it's time for a leader
to get pro-active.
A team-building exercise.
A non-critical
cooperative effort
that gives each participant
a chance to shine.
First, you'll need an ally,
an eager follower.
Choose someone
who's passive, enthusiastic,
and easily distracted.
Behold
the Helios Quantalux-6-Plus
video camera.
Six different modes:
standard, infrared,
thermal, MRI
you can even capture farts
with this thing.
Can I?
This thing is awesome.
We gotta make a movie.
Ya think?
Yeah.
But not just any movie.
A space movie!
Hey, superstar.
We're making a movie!
[startling]
Sorry. Sorry.
I didn't mean
to sneak up on you.
What do you want?
Uh, nothing.
Actually, we're just
well, you don't have to
if you don't want to.
What?
Well, we're making a movie.
So we were thinking
like Fear & Dread,
but not a ripoff,
more like like reminiscent.
An homage.
Yeah.
Exactly. An homage.
Wait.
Are we talking F&D IV,
or the one where
they meet the Nebulantians?
Well, I was thinking
the action from IV
combined with
the suspense of III.
Well, not just a normal movie.
It's like a horror movie.
Well a space horror
movie, and
Okay, come on, spit it out.
Well, I mean, we were hoping
that you would play
Aphus Fear?
Wait a second. You said "we."
"We're thinking."
Who's "we"?
Not Will.
Well, see, I was
I didn't mean
Forget it. I'm out.
You game?
Do I get to eat anybody?
Oh yeah.
You get to eat everybody.
You know what?
It's totally okay.
I get it.
A lot of people
get stage fright.
Stage fright?
Who said I had stage fright?
Will said that, didn't he?
Look, man,
it's totally cool.
You know what?
Count me in.
Okay.
[Griffin] We need
to shut down Matilda.
No half measures.
This can't be like last time.
Night and day, brother.
Night and day.
Do you mind?
You're hovering.
It's Day 73, Singer.
73 days those kids have been
stuck up there
dealing with stuff
trained astronauts
can barely handle.
They need instructions
to disconnect Matilda
once and for all.
Do you want it done fast,
or do you want it done right?
It's a quantum CPU, Griffin,
not a plug and play.
We got a bunch
of little kids up there
doing brain surgery
on Albert Einstein,
and I gotta boil it all down
to "See Spot Run."
Just get it done, Singer.
Yeah.
All right, Matilda, effects!
[Matilda] Ambient effects
lighting engaged.
Can I ditch the helmet?
It keeps steaming up,
and you won't be able
to see my face.
That's a plus.
What was that?
He just meant, uh,
that it looks awesome
that the lighting effects
really sell it.
All right, how do I look?
Be honest.
You look unbelievable.
[Matilda] Very disturbing, Samy.
Oh, we gotta test
the blood 'n' guts mode.
Dude, MRI.
Oh.
Oh, wow, that really looks good.
'Course it does.
All right, Aphus, Zak.
Let's go over your blocking.
[Dowd] Well, by now, your team
should be a well-oiled machine,
old grudges and trivial feuds
melting away
like winter frost
under the warm spring sunshine
of a common goal.
From this point forward,
you all should be getting along
like socks and shoes.
[sighing]
Hello?
[screaming]
You pushed me!
[groaning]
Matilda, lights!
[Doria] What are
you people doing?
Doria, you were perfect!
I could totally
feel your terror!
Am I right, guys?
Are you nuts? She blew the shot!
No, no, no, no.
We can totally make it work.
Oh, right.
Like a little kid can knock
Aphus Dread on his butt.
[laughing]
Aphus Dread?
Is that who you're
supposed to be?
Because I could have sworn
you were yesterday's garbage.
Oh
I mean, c'mon.
Elliot, I gotta admit
it wasn't very realistic.
Yeah, just about as realistic
as you playing the hero.
Oh, well, I don't remember
you out there
while I was hanging off
the side of a spaceship
saving everyone's
sorry little butts.
Yeah, well, it's not like
any one of us
wouldn't have done
the exact same thing
if the stupid suit had fit.
But the suit didn't fit,
did it?
Did it?
That's enough!
Knock it off, you idiots!
Knock it off!
Yeah!
Great!
Thank you, Martin!
We all appreciate what you did,
but do you have to keep
just spiking the football
over, and over, and over?
And you!
Just because somebody
does something amazing,
it doesn't make you a loser.
Have you ever thought about,
like, bringing yourself up
instead of dragging him down?
And you.
I've got news for you.
Oh, I'm so sensitive.
I'm gonna go sulk
in my room all day.
We all have lives,
do you get it?
We all have families,
we all have friends,
we all miss them,
and we're all scared!
All of us!
Come on, Elliot, take it easy.
No, don't even Commander.
You were supposed to be, like,
this big leader,
and I was down for that.
I really was.
But lately,
you've just been mean,
like a nasty little creature
who lives in a hole
and only comes out
to bite people
who are trying to help her!
You want to know
the biggest idiot of all?
Me!
For being stupid enough
to believe
that if I could just get
you miserable, selfish jerks
together to do something fun,
that you would stop being
miserable, selfish jerks!
Wow! What a great idea.
For years, I always worried that
Will was too childish.
How many times I begged him
to to grow up.
I've always been worried
Samy grew too fast.
Now if it isn't
shuttle protocols
or spacewalks
they're stuck in tiny rooms
tearing each other apart.
I'm terrified that if
[sighing]
when they come home
When. When.
They'll never get
to just be kids again.
[Matilda] Elliot?
Yeah?
Would you mind
answering a question?
What can I know that you don't?
A great deal, it seems.
I am very perplexed.
Up to 35 days ago, the crew
was working well together.
This trend culminated
in Martin's successful
extravehicular repair
of the meteor strike.
The spacewalk.
Yeah. That was great.
But since then,
group interactions have become
increasingly uncooperative
and hostile.
This not only places
the success of the mission
at risk,
but your very lives, correct?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
Maybe we were just too busy
trying to survive
to get on each other's nerves.
Now, being in space
isn't such a big deal.
[Matilda] Perhaps it's time
to remember it is a big deal.
You know, Elliot was right
about the whole
me spiking the football thing.
It's just I've never
scored a touchdown before.
Nah.
I was just totally jealous.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, how could you not be?
Thanks, Will.
It's been a long 73 days
For all of us. I get that.
But what am I supposed to do?
Pretend I'm happy about
missing out on my whole life?
No one's saying
you gotta pretend, Dor.
Just keep in mind
that we're all in this together.
Plus it's not all that bad.
We get to do
a bunch of stuff up here
that most kids only dream about.
Yeah, right.
Maybe we could make a movie
about that.
What?
What did I say?
Uh, guys, we've got an incoming
pre-recorded video transmission
from Odyssey II.
[♪♪♪]
[farting]
Did you get it, did you get it?
That was awesome!
[♪♪♪]
Greetings, Earthlings.
When we're not fighting
giant alien Squeebees
Or performing death-defying
spacewalks
There is still
a lot to do up here.
Space Garden.
Welcome to our Odyssey II
Space Garden!
Martin here is in charge
of making sure
these plants survive.
At first, I wasn't really
into gardening,
but up here, I don't know
these crunchies really help me
remember what home feels like.
Plus, they're fun to eat.
That's right, you heard it, Mom!
I said veggies are fun to eat.
[race announcer]
And here they go!
Come on, pea, come on,
you got that, let's go!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
Come to Marty!
and into the stretch
goes carrots!
Carrots is ahead,
wins by seven lengths!
Going away!
Snap! Snap! Snap!
Just kidding.
So it turns out space
totally fries your phone
[screaming]
No Skittlegram, no texting,
and no shopping online.
But then I thought
who needs shopping online
when you can create
your own couture line.
Check this out!
Space Fashion.
Presenting Doria's
Odyssey Collection,
available
at your local retailers
as soon as we get back to Earth.
[cheering]
All right, go!
So, this thing can 3-D print
in any medium.
It's used for supplies,
tools, parts
Like Squeebee,
which we used to patch
the breach in the hull.
Oh, it's done.
[Matilda] Printing complete.
Ta-da!
Betcha can't tell what this is.
Give up?
It's a DR-16AWP filter
used in the MPU
to replace the one
that wore out yesterday.
Space D R 16
A W Something.
Fun fact: the MPU
collects all the moisture
through the vents
and purifies it for us to drink.
All moisture. Like our sweat.
They don't need details, Elliot.
And our pee.
You should have
stopped at "sweat"!
Sorry, sorry!
Did someone say "sweat"?
Workouts are super important
on long space voyages, too.
Space Stellar Work-Out!
Check this out, Ms. Mooney!
Astronauts, assemble!
Matilda, hit it!
["Jopping" by SuperM plays ]
5, 6, 7, 8!
I don't even care
Yeogin ulil taeul stage
Left to the right
We gon' make it Make it bang ♪
You all should be getting
along like socks and shoes.
Let me see you bounce
To the left, to the right
Sijag doeneun round
Round, round, round, round
'Cause when we jumping
it's popping ♪
We jopping
Socks and - This is awesome!
Socks and - Jopping
[Matilda] Would you like me
to raise the volume?
[laughter]
Yeah, Matilda, crank it up!
Jopping How we get down ♪
Jopping, how we get down
'Cause when we jumping
and popping ♪
We jopping
Step on the floor
Start a riot ♪
Where the competition?
Man, it's looking one-sided
Yes, come on, come on.
[music ends]
We still miss everyone,
but we get to go to Venus!
And I know we'll be friends
for life because of this.
We get along
like socks and shoes.
- Oh, come on.
- [laughter]
See you soon!
In the meantime, we got this.
[applause]
Guess kids will always be kids.
Wow.
Is there anything
you all can't do?
That was amazing.
I'm pretty sure
even Lind shed a tear.
There were no tears.
You're making us all very proud.
Good work. Mission Control, out.
So, what should we watch, then?
Oh, I have an idea.
I found this great
Rex Dowd video.
- No!
- No! Boo!
[Martin] Hi, I'm Rex Dowd,
and if you're watching
this video,
you're all totally doomed.
[kids laughing]
Five kids all amazed
by the wonders ♪
Of unexplainable factors
That go beyond the skies
We are the astronauts
On the voyage of a lifetime
With a mission far from Earth
And all we trust ♪
Oh, we are the astronauts
Our goal is to bring you home.
And if you can't?
We have to be
the very best we can be
otherwise, we're going
to die up here.
I'm the commander.
That's an order!
I don't remember ever
voting you Commander.
Elliot, you need
to make them listen.
You understand me?
You're better than this!
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