The Curse (2023) s01e07 Episode Script
Self-Exclusion
1
♪
He had his fucking
cell phone in his hand
against the pottery while
we were giving it to them.
I just wanna make a great show.
And if we include you talking
about these wounds of frustration
between you and Asher,
then people are gonna connect with you
and they're gonna think
you're being honest.
[ABSHIR] Stop discussing curses.
If you put an idea in your head,
it can become very real.
- [GIGGLING]
- [TEACHER] Girls.
You're always complaining
about the gaming board?
[MAN] You should be
proud of yourself, Asher.
- [BEEPING]
- [AUTOMATED VOICE] $50. Max bet.
This is your chance to
do something about it.
We're not gonna be able to do the story,
unless I have the security footage.
[ASHER] I I know the
exact folder I put it in.
I will get it for you.
What the hell do you
and Cara text about?
- [DOUGIE] You can see.
- What's this?
[DOUGIE] That's some racist
statue that she sent me,
some miniature golf
course in Albuquerque.
Wait till you see this show.
Your art looks so good in our home.
Did you guys talk about that release?
'Cause apparently we need like
an official signature before
we can use your artwork in the show.
Yeah, yeah. I need do that.
No rush. Like, kind of a
rush, but not, not a big rush.
[CHUCKLES]
Maybe corporate comedy class
would be interesting for you,
just so you could feel more confident.
[MUTTERING]
[GYM TEACHER] Use your legs, pull.
- [GIGGLING]
- Use your arms.
Step, step, step.
Pull, pull, pull. You're almost there.
Good, good. Way to go, Max.
Good job. Good job.
Next.
[GIRL] You got this, Josie.
[GYM TEACHER] Use your
legs, pull. Use your arms.
- Keep stepping.
- [GIRL] You got it, Josie.
Good job, Josie. Good job.
Use your legs. Pull,
pull. You're doing good.
Good job. Awesome. Awesome.
Use your legs, pull. Use your arms.
Keep pulling. Keep
pulling. Use your legs.
Pull it. Pull it. Pull, pull, pull.
[WHISPERS] Fall.
[GYM TEACHER] Keep stepping.
Keep stepping and pulling.
Way to go. Way to go.
Keep climbing. Keep good, good, good.
Touch the yellow. Touch the yellow.
[WHISPERS] Fall.
[GYM TEACHER] Great.
Now, come back down slow.
Slow it down. Good job.
Nala, you're up.
Keep going, Nala. You're doing good.
[GRUNTING]
Keep trying. Keep trying.
One hand over the other.
Use your feet.
Keep pulling. Keep pulling.
Pull it. Pull it.
[GRUNTS]
[GYM TEACHER] Keep trying. Keep trying.
All right, Nala, maybe next time.
You can't hog the rope all day.
- Next.
- Good job, Nala.
So that's how it's
gonna be. Well, I tried.
[GYM TEACHER] Okay, Jasper.
Keep going. Keep going. Good.
Um, she's bullying me.
Is it hurting you?
If anybody says anything
negative about you,
as long as you believe in yourself,
no bullying is gonna
get get to you unless
they get very physical with you.
But I'm glad you came
and told me about this.
But be positive in all your actions.
Believe in yourself,
that's the main thing.
Can I use the bathroom?
Oh, sure. Go.
[EERIE MUSIC]
[GPS VOICE] Head southeast
on Reservoir Street.
Your destination is on the left.
♪
Okay.
Sean.
Sean. Sean. Sean!
I called your name four times, man.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You gotta answer me
when I'm talking to you.
[BEEPING]
[WHITNEY] Oh.
- You got a bungee or something?
- This is fine. This is good.
It'll work. This will work.
[GRUNTS] Okay. There we go.
Thank you.
Shit.
I'm giving it my all ♪
But I'm not the girl
you're taking home ♪
Ooh. I keep dancing on my own ♪
I keep dancing on my own ♪
I'm in the ♪
[BEEPING]
[GRUNTING]
[CHUCKLES]
Hello?
- I'm calling the police.
- It's me, it's me. [LAUGHS]
I see you've met my friend. [CHUCKLES]
♪
It's from the mini-golf course,
but not anymore. Now, it's yours.
Okay. Thank you.
I think your friend is a little cold.
Should we bring him inside? [CHUCKLES]
- Sure.
- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
Do you want help? Is it I mean
No. I'm okay.
So Dougie showed me the
photo and it was disgusting.
And I had to do something,
so I offered the owner
to take it off his hands.
You paid him for it?
Oh, my God, I didn't
want this thing there.
It's like a place for
children. It's so offensive.
It was around all these
dinosaurs and it's like,
I didn't want that, so it's gone now,
and it is my gift to
you and you can use it
in your art and re-contextualize it.
Maybe I can just sign it right now
and you can buy it. How about that?
[CHUCKLES]
I mean
an original Cara Durand piece
in my home would be fine,
but, you know, obviously if
we wanna show it on the show,
I'm gonna have to have
you sign a release,
and we all know that's
not a quick process.
Yeah. I I'm sorry, I
I'm kidding. I'm completely
kidding. I actually
I I printed out the release for you
just, because I know email
is so annoying and, you know,
it like, always gets lost and I'm
I never pay attention to it.
And, um, I will Oh,
here. Here, I'll get a pen.
Okay.
Here you are.
Is everything okay?
I don't think that I
can sign this right now.
I don't understand.
What do you mean?
I'm I'm sorry.
No. But you, you said
that it was it was fine
if it was only in our
house only our home.
What's what's going on?
Your art is all over the show,
so it's like it would be
really hard to cut around it.
And and Dougie says it's impossible,
but, of course I'll do what
I need to do, of course.
I'm just I I
think I'm just confused
'cause we're friends,
so why wouldn't you want
your artwork in the show?
I love that you have my art. It's
it's just it's
gonna be a whole thing,
you know, considering
what your parents do,
and I'm also being told about, like,
where I should be showing my art
and then where it should be seen.
And it's just, I don't know if
I want my art in the show
at this point.
So what my what my parents do?
Well, they take
advantage of poor people.
I I don't even
really see them anymore.
And my whole thing, my whole life
is about doing everything
that they don't do.
But you know what? This
is this is good, actually.
I needed to hear this.
Nobody tells me the truth, honestly.
And that's why we're friends
because you're always real with me.
And maybe I haven't been
as real with you, lately.
'Cause there's actually
been a lot of things
going on in my life that
you don't know about,
and that's not cool to do
as a friend, you know.
And I felt this distance
between us lately,
and I I know this is why.
So I'm insecure about myself
and I'm not telling you things.
But, um
I'm unhappy in my marriage
and I hide it well, right?
Like, who would even know that?
But I feel like he's holding me back
and I just wanna be artistic,
and philosophical,
and all he cares about
are the financials.
And it's so sad,
because I came here today
to ask you to be a
consultant for the show.
That's what I wanted to do.
It was gonna be so special. And
I mean you don't want even
want your art in the show,
so, like, what am I thinking?
I mean, I'm so lost.
I'm so off base. It's crazy.
I just I I should
I should just leave.
I should leave.
I didn't know I didn't
know about you and Asher.
I'm sorry.
Well, I mean, how would
you know that? I haven't been
telling you things.
I was so excited. It was
gonna be so special
and we have $15,000 to
$20,000 for this job,
and it's
So, what would what
would this job entail?
I just really wanna get
things right, you know?
And so if I if I have a
question about Tiwa or Tewa,
like I still mix those up.
And I you know, if have.
So so, like a Native
American consultant?
Yes. I mean, but it
it really wouldn't take
much of your time at all.
Would I would my name have to be
in the credits of the show or
I mean, if you felt
comfortable with that, yeah.
Could I could we
maybe do it anonymously?
It's a pretty big network show,
so, you know, if they
if they were paying you for this role,
I I do think it might
be a little bit weird
if it was anonymous, you know, like,
I don't know if they would want that.
So for and this is for $20,000?
I don't wanna force you
into anything. [LAUGHS]
And it's just to consult.
It's not about my art in the show?
[STAMMERS] Yes,
exactly, just to consult.
I mean, we could rip
this thing up right now.
I mean, you know, I'm just kidding.
You can you can take time
to think about it, of course.
But it's just to consult.
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so happy
we can talk like this. I
Yeah, yeah, me too.
[LAUGHS] Do you mind
if I get some water?
- No, no, please. Get some water.
- I'm thirsty from all of these.
Okay. I'm just gonna
use one of these mugs.
[TINKLING]
I'm so ugly that on Halloween
when I open the door,
kids give me candy.
- [LAUGH]
- That's funny, right?
Does anybody know what
comedian said that?
I'll give you a clue.
He gets no respect.
Steven Wright.
Actually, it is
Rodney Dangerfield, right?
We used to be really close friends,
but then he stopped talking
to me because I'm not funny.
All right. Well, show of hands,
how many of you, uh, know
who Rodney Dangerfield is?
All right. Well, he was the master
of self-deprecating humor.
And some say, that is
the safest form of comedy
because you're making yourself
the butt of the joke, right?
I know some of you right
now you're asking yourself,
"Jeff, you are an extremely handsome guy
and you seem to be pretty smart, too.
So how is that gonna
help me with my career?
How is it gonna help me if
I'm pointing out my flaws?"
Well, the answer is, and I know
I know I keep going back
to emotional intelligence,
but it is a form of
emotional intelligence.
People are drawn to those
who are self-aware, right?
And puts everybody at ease, right?
So, Rachael, you were,
uh, saying something
about, uh, mothering, smothering.
What were you saying?
I said, "Mothering, smothering,
what's the difference?"
Okay. Well, it's kind of a pun, right?
But you're also looking back
at yourself when you're saying
that you're an
overbearing mother, right?
So what can be the exaggeration on that,
that we can turn it into a joke?
I'm not a mother, I'm a smother?
That's close, but it's still a pun.
So let's, let's take a look
at, uh, Rodney here, okay?
Are we really to believe
that kids think he's so ugly
that they give him candy
because they think he's
wearing a monster costume?
No, no. And that's what makes it funny.
So what would happen if you
were to smother your kid,
like, like, way too much, right?
He would suffocate and die.
So you might say,
uh, "I'm really concerned
with my parenting skills
because I'm I'm
afraid I might be arrested
- for first degree smothering."
- [LAUGHTER]
Okay. Well, it's not the best joke,
but you guys get the idea, right?
Uh, Asher, you were, uh,
saying something about a career change.
How can we make a joke out of that?
Uh, perhaps maybe, uh, you were fired
or, um, nobody wants you?
Well, I wasn't fired. I left myself.
It was like a contract
job, so I chose to leave.
Okay. Sure, sure. But,
but again, we're we're,
uh, talking about
exaggeration here, right?
So all we really need is
just a kernel of truth.
So, um, maybe the other day,
uh, we were talking
and you were telling me
about an insecurity that
you have about yourself
and you thought it could
be the source of humor,
so why don't we, uh, try that?
Um
I'd, I'd rather not go into it.
Okay. Well, are, are
you sure? Because again,
you know, we all know
that for a joke to work,
um, we've got to be able to
stretch the truth a little, right?
We're not gonna take
everything literally.
Well, there's one thing I'd
like to stretch a little bit.
My penis.
Okay. Well, okay. That's a good start,
but let's try it again, but this time,
let's not literally say
the subject matter, right?
Let's just hint at the subject matter.
Well, there's one well,
there's one phrase I don't
no one ever says to me,
"Is that a banana in your pocket?"
Um, because even if I
could stretch my banana,
uh, no one would think I was happy.
Okay. Well, again, I
think maybe not exactly
because I mean the banana
Oh, because you can't stretch
a banana. I see, I see.
Does it really matter how he
phrases it? Can we just move on?
Well, I, you know, I I
would really love for this joke
to land properly for Asher.
No, yeah, I understand,
but I just, I mean,
I'm asking myself why
am I paying to watch you
workshop a masturbation
joke? I just wanna move on.
Okay. Well, I don't
think that Asher's joke
was to invoke masturbation, right?
I mean, Asher, do you wanna go
and explain your joke to everyone?
Uh, I'd prefer not to.
Well, Asher told me in private
that he has a small penis
and I think that is what the
joke was supposed to portray.
You know, penis size, you know,
that is a classic form
of self-deprecation.
[WOMAN] He wants to move on.
I don't understand why
you keep dwelling on it.
Okay. What about even if
you rub the genie bottle
really hard, you never see the genie?
Stop, okay? Stop.
Uh, I'm a man and I did not
think that joke was funny.
And I work with victims
of sexual assault
and I can guarantee you
that joke would not land.
Let's all right. This
is a learning opportunity.
Asher told a joke
that offended everyone.
So let's talk about this.
Okay, Asher, I'm gonna be blunt, right?
Um, you crossed the line and, you know,
you got to know when, uh, you're
going outside the boundaries,
and that's exactly what you just did.
I guess kind of the way
that you chose to phrase it,
- it was a little weird.
- I didn't even want to talk about it in class.
That's why I brought it
up with you privately.
So, you know, maybe
we could get together
and we could have a private session,
or maybe you could have, you know,
- the next round of classes.
- What are you saying?
You don't want me back in this class?
No, I do want you
back. You have my email.
You know, why don't you
contact me in a couple of months
and we'll get you in with the new group,
see how that goes. I mean, you know
Sure, sure.
[TEACHER] Are we good?
I don't need these fucking classes.
I don't need to come back to this.
If you were really
funny, you wouldn't be
teaching in a fucking Legion Hall.
- [TEACHER] Okay.
- You'd be on YouTube,
like the comedians I watch. Okay?
- That's a that's a cliche.
- I don't need this shit.
- Don't say that. That's not true.
- You put me in that situation.
- Relax.
- [ASHER] Whatever, man.
- Okay, dude.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[KEVIN HART] I'm serious, I did,
I thought my baby was a dumb baby.
But now I realize he's not dumb,
he just does dumb shit. Like I don't
I don't like the way my
son throws his tantrums.
You know, when a baby throw a tantrum,
he's supposed to fall out,
cry, roll on the ground.
That's a tantrum.
This is not a joke, this is for real.
[THUD]
It's the most retarded
thing I've seen in my life.
I can't say nothing.
I got to wait till he's finished
then explain to people what happened.
No, I know, exactly.
Yeah. Uh, hold on one second.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Okay. No, I know. I completely agree.
throughout our state,
we can only hope changes come soon,
especially to this area.
Monica Perez, KOE 7.
Thank you, Monica, shocking stuff.
There is nothing funny about addiction.
All right. Let's check in with Carey.
And brighten things up with forecast.
[CAREY] Ooh, well, I'll tell you
You know, gambling addiction
is a huge problem here
in our states and our reporting
uncovered questionable
practices at Whistling River.
Monica Perez reports.
The roll of the dice,
the spin of the wheel,
the turn of the card.
At any moment, you could be a winner.
But for more than 10 million Americans
who are addicted to gambling,
these images may remind
them of their life savings
going down the drain.
And to prevent this from happening,
local recovering addicts
like Joanna Hernandez
rely on the New Mexico
Gaming Control Board,
in collaboration with
the casinos themselves,
to prevent them from playing.
They let me in, they watch me play,
and when I win, they come up to me
and tell me "We're taking your money."
After losing her
daughter's college savings
through gambling seven years ago,
Ms. Hernandez joined the
Gaming Control Board's
self-exclusion program,
which forces casinos
like Whistling River, run
by the San Pedro Pueblo
to deny entry to addicts
like Ms. Hernandez.
But through our reporting, we discovered
the Gaming Control Board is
not only negligent in its duty
to deny that access and
protect those addicts,
but it's knowingly
allowing them to play.
This security footage we
obtained shows Ms. Hernandez
winning a $35,000 jackpot
at the Indian Dreaming slot machine,
at which point, several casino staff,
including an onsite inspector
from the New Mexico Gaming Control Board
appear on the casino floor.
You'll see here, the
casino staff stood by
as Ms. Hernandez switched
from slots to blackjack,
where her winning streak continued.
We figured out she had
an accurate self-exclusion
after she won the jackpot,
but when I went to go remove
her off the casino floor,
the inspector was like,
"No, no, no, let's wait,
let's leave her, see
how much she can win,"
like it was some sick game of his.
Watch here as the
control board inspector
and an unidentified casino staffer
seemed to find delight
in watching Ms. Hernandez
accumulate chips knowing full well
the casino is legally required
to confiscate everything she wins.
But one person who is not
laughing is Ms. Hernandez,
as it was not until the casino
let her accumulate upwards
of $70,000 in winnings
that they stepped in.
I was like, "Why? It's my money."
I won it. I'm gonna
leave with those chips
because my brother's gonna
come back and cash them in for me.
They tell me, "No, you have
to leave those chips here."
[REPORTER] While some casinos
use facial recognition technology
to catch problem gamblers
right at the door,
our reporting shows
the Gaming Control Board
has dragged their feet.
Whit?
Whit? Baby?
Did you see the news?
Was that you laughing?
It was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him he had to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY] You were
patting him on the back.
I was being friendly because
I was trying to persuade him.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
Why didn't you just stop her yourself?
Well, A, that's not my job.
And, B, the inspector could have been
I mean, he could have been annoyed
and we need to maintain
a good relationship
with the control board or
else it could hurt the casino.
[SIGHS] I mean, it's really hard to
explain the vibe in that moment.
You know, when you said
that you witnessed this,
I didn't realize that
you were part of it.
How could you accuse me
of being part of this?
I I was trying to
get him to remove her.
I'm I'm the one who blew the whistle
This news story is because of me.
You wouldn't have done anything
if I hadn't forced you to.
That's bullshit.
[WHITNEY] Is it bullshit?
You wouldn't do anything good
if I didn't force you to.
♪
[PHONE CHIMES]
♪
- There you go.
- Okay. Thank you.
And we're on good timing.
- You wanna follow me?
- Yeah.
So, we're gonna have you sit right here.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- She is.
- [CHUCKLES]
All right. You guys good?
- Rolling.
- [DOUGIE] All right.
So, all right. So, let me let's, um,
let's start off with, um,
how's your how's
your relationship doing?
How's it all going?
Uh, ooh, um
well, I think every relationship
reaches a point where you
start to question things.
You know, that that's normal,
everyone goes through that, you know?
You notice yourself
keeping little secrets,
things that you don't share with them,
because you wonder if
they'll have your back.
Uh, and you would think that if
you've spent years with someone,
that eventually at some point
you'd feel like you really know them.
But honestly, maybe sometimes
you never do.
Because you start to see
these glimpses of a person
that you don't recognize,
and it's it's scary.
And you wonder, is that the real them?
Is my idea of them just a
projection or is that real?
You know?
Do you ever feel like, um,
Asher is holding you back at all?
[CHUCKLES]
You're good at this. Um [CHUCKLES]
Because you guys are
are strong, right?
At the end of the day,
you're gonna survive, right?
Next question.
[EERIE MUSIC]
- All done?
- [MAN] Yeah.
- Can I see in a mirror?
- [MAN] Sure.
- Looks good. Thanks.
- [MAN] Welcome.
[DOUGIE] Anyways, so I'm
standing there and this guy is, like,
"Hey, you wanna fight?" And I'm like
- [LAUGHING]
- and somebody goes, "Bitch! Bitch!"
And I'm like, you know,
like, "I didn't say it."
- That's not good!
- I swear. I didn't say it.
Hundred percent. Totally.
- Yo, what's happening?
- What's funny?
Just, just some dumb story. But
- Can I hear?
- [LAUGHS]
- Okay.
- What was it?
Okay. I have to go. You're done with me?
- [DOUGIE] All good. That was great.
- Okay. Okay.
- [DOUGIE] Amazing.
- You're up.
Um, we're doing Shabbat tonight, are we?
- When I get home?
- I have plans.
I bought a challah on the way here.
I'll have it for breakfast.
Did you, um, buy a bunch
of stuff from Iosheka Jeans?
No, I gave them the credit card,
so that if someone shoplifts,
they can just charge me
instead of calling the police.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- I guess that's a good idea.
- I know.
- Hey, um, Asher,
we're just gonna have you,
uh, sit over here.
[ASHER] Okay.
Asher time! [VOCALIZING]
[CHUCKLES] What was the funny story?
Oh, it was just, uh, some
guy who thought I wanted
to fight him because I
happened to be stretching my jaw
when someone else said "bitch."
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
- We good?
- [TONYA] You better go do it because
we're a little bit over time.
Not even if we end 30
minutes early tomorrow?
- [TONYA] Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
- Really?
[TONYA] No, I've asked.
Great. I appreciate that. Thank you.
Um [CHUCKLES]
So looks like we're gonna
have to do you another day.
Whitney went long, so sorry about that.
But hey, at least you got
some nice, uh, beautiful makeup
for your Shabbat dinner. Which I want
I wanted to, uh, to
thank you by the way.
I really, really
wanted to thank you for,
for never inviting me. Not even once.
All right. You remember
I'm Jewish, right?
All right. You guys don't
have to stick around.
I know you don't wanna
stay any longer, so
[TONYA] I'm sorry about this.
Hey, don't be silly. It's, like
it's, like, flushing
money down the drain.
Can't we just do a wire?
You can just wire it to me,
it's the same thing, right?
It's just a transfer.
It's gonna count
against your inheritance
if I have to file a gift tax return.
Okay, fine. Just give me the cash.
Would you like me to
count this out to you?
No, I'm good.
So, you have a good day.
- You, too.
- Thank you.
Can you get me some receipt paper?
Can you get me some receipt paper?
Do I have to do it myself?
I know you only wanted
30 but there's 40.
That will save you a trip next time.
Well, there won't be a next time.
This is the only time.
That is what I love about you.
I'm serious. This is the last time.
Look at me. I am serious.
This is a loan, so add it.
You want the market interest
rate or friends and family?
Very funny.
Here is the 20 that we agreed upon.
And the way that production
accounting is working,
it's just easier for
them to pay you in cash.
- Wow.
- [CHUCKLES]
Nice. I'm using the kitchen.
God
Have you, um, thought
any more about your work
being featured on the show?
Um, no, I haven't.
So, it's just in the home,
it's not you're not talking about it.
It's just there, right?
No, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just in the background.
Right. I think I'd be cool with that.
- Really? Yeah?
- Yeah.
Amazing. Okay. Um
God, it's so annoying
that they make us do this.
They made me sign this exact same thing
to feature the homes on the show,
just because I guess they're, like,
considered art or
whatever. [CHUCKLES] Um
so, this is the consultant contract.
So, you just sign here.
All right.
And then your address goes there.
And then you'll just do the
same for the contract underneath.
Oh, my God. [CHUCKLES]
I saw you have a hoop outside.
Yeah, it was, uh, there
when I rented the place.
Yeah, I tried out for junior
varsity but I didn't make it.
- [CARA] Mm-hmm.
- Do you play?
Just HORSE.
Let's play.
Right now?
Yeah, if you're free.
Yeah, I guess I'm free.
Yeah. I mean, we don't have to
if you have other stuff to do.
Sure. Let's let's do it.
Okay.
[DRIBBLING CONTINUES]
[WHITNEY] All right. So this one,
spin around until
you're dizzy, five times.
- Okay.
- And then your feet are off the ground,
you have to yell, "Ow!"
Okay? Ready? One, two, three,
four, five. Ow!
- [CARA] Oh, you made it!
- Oh!
Oh, yes!
Your turn. Exact same thing.
Let's do it. Five times, jump,
feet off the ground, shout.
[INDISTINCT]
♪
H-O-R.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER]
Was that you laughing?
[ASHER ON RECORDER] It
was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him he had to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] You
were patting him on the back.
[ASHER ON RECORDER] I was being friendly
because I was trying to persuade him.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] Why
didn't you just stop her yourself?
Was that you laughing?
[ASHER ON RECORDER] It
was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him we need to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] You
were patting him on the back.
But there's some makeup that
you can wear in the water
so when you swim,
it will stay on after,
and you can wear it for
the rest of the month
and you never have to replace it.
But how does it stick?
I don't know. It just does.
It sticks on your skin.
- [GIRL SCREAMS]
- Oh, my God! Josie!
Ms. Donna!
Are you okay?
We need a teacher!
Josie, are you okay?
No, it hurts.
♪
♪
He had his fucking
cell phone in his hand
against the pottery while
we were giving it to them.
I just wanna make a great show.
And if we include you talking
about these wounds of frustration
between you and Asher,
then people are gonna connect with you
and they're gonna think
you're being honest.
[ABSHIR] Stop discussing curses.
If you put an idea in your head,
it can become very real.
- [GIGGLING]
- [TEACHER] Girls.
You're always complaining
about the gaming board?
[MAN] You should be
proud of yourself, Asher.
- [BEEPING]
- [AUTOMATED VOICE] $50. Max bet.
This is your chance to
do something about it.
We're not gonna be able to do the story,
unless I have the security footage.
[ASHER] I I know the
exact folder I put it in.
I will get it for you.
What the hell do you
and Cara text about?
- [DOUGIE] You can see.
- What's this?
[DOUGIE] That's some racist
statue that she sent me,
some miniature golf
course in Albuquerque.
Wait till you see this show.
Your art looks so good in our home.
Did you guys talk about that release?
'Cause apparently we need like
an official signature before
we can use your artwork in the show.
Yeah, yeah. I need do that.
No rush. Like, kind of a
rush, but not, not a big rush.
[CHUCKLES]
Maybe corporate comedy class
would be interesting for you,
just so you could feel more confident.
[MUTTERING]
[GYM TEACHER] Use your legs, pull.
- [GIGGLING]
- Use your arms.
Step, step, step.
Pull, pull, pull. You're almost there.
Good, good. Way to go, Max.
Good job. Good job.
Next.
[GIRL] You got this, Josie.
[GYM TEACHER] Use your
legs, pull. Use your arms.
- Keep stepping.
- [GIRL] You got it, Josie.
Good job, Josie. Good job.
Use your legs. Pull,
pull. You're doing good.
Good job. Awesome. Awesome.
Use your legs, pull. Use your arms.
Keep pulling. Keep
pulling. Use your legs.
Pull it. Pull it. Pull, pull, pull.
[WHISPERS] Fall.
[GYM TEACHER] Keep stepping.
Keep stepping and pulling.
Way to go. Way to go.
Keep climbing. Keep good, good, good.
Touch the yellow. Touch the yellow.
[WHISPERS] Fall.
[GYM TEACHER] Great.
Now, come back down slow.
Slow it down. Good job.
Nala, you're up.
Keep going, Nala. You're doing good.
[GRUNTING]
Keep trying. Keep trying.
One hand over the other.
Use your feet.
Keep pulling. Keep pulling.
Pull it. Pull it.
[GRUNTS]
[GYM TEACHER] Keep trying. Keep trying.
All right, Nala, maybe next time.
You can't hog the rope all day.
- Next.
- Good job, Nala.
So that's how it's
gonna be. Well, I tried.
[GYM TEACHER] Okay, Jasper.
Keep going. Keep going. Good.
Um, she's bullying me.
Is it hurting you?
If anybody says anything
negative about you,
as long as you believe in yourself,
no bullying is gonna
get get to you unless
they get very physical with you.
But I'm glad you came
and told me about this.
But be positive in all your actions.
Believe in yourself,
that's the main thing.
Can I use the bathroom?
Oh, sure. Go.
[EERIE MUSIC]
[GPS VOICE] Head southeast
on Reservoir Street.
Your destination is on the left.
♪
Okay.
Sean.
Sean. Sean. Sean!
I called your name four times, man.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You gotta answer me
when I'm talking to you.
[BEEPING]
[WHITNEY] Oh.
- You got a bungee or something?
- This is fine. This is good.
It'll work. This will work.
[GRUNTS] Okay. There we go.
Thank you.
Shit.
I'm giving it my all ♪
But I'm not the girl
you're taking home ♪
Ooh. I keep dancing on my own ♪
I keep dancing on my own ♪
I'm in the ♪
[BEEPING]
[GRUNTING]
[CHUCKLES]
Hello?
- I'm calling the police.
- It's me, it's me. [LAUGHS]
I see you've met my friend. [CHUCKLES]
♪
It's from the mini-golf course,
but not anymore. Now, it's yours.
Okay. Thank you.
I think your friend is a little cold.
Should we bring him inside? [CHUCKLES]
- Sure.
- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
Do you want help? Is it I mean
No. I'm okay.
So Dougie showed me the
photo and it was disgusting.
And I had to do something,
so I offered the owner
to take it off his hands.
You paid him for it?
Oh, my God, I didn't
want this thing there.
It's like a place for
children. It's so offensive.
It was around all these
dinosaurs and it's like,
I didn't want that, so it's gone now,
and it is my gift to
you and you can use it
in your art and re-contextualize it.
Maybe I can just sign it right now
and you can buy it. How about that?
[CHUCKLES]
I mean
an original Cara Durand piece
in my home would be fine,
but, you know, obviously if
we wanna show it on the show,
I'm gonna have to have
you sign a release,
and we all know that's
not a quick process.
Yeah. I I'm sorry, I
I'm kidding. I'm completely
kidding. I actually
I I printed out the release for you
just, because I know email
is so annoying and, you know,
it like, always gets lost and I'm
I never pay attention to it.
And, um, I will Oh,
here. Here, I'll get a pen.
Okay.
Here you are.
Is everything okay?
I don't think that I
can sign this right now.
I don't understand.
What do you mean?
I'm I'm sorry.
No. But you, you said
that it was it was fine
if it was only in our
house only our home.
What's what's going on?
Your art is all over the show,
so it's like it would be
really hard to cut around it.
And and Dougie says it's impossible,
but, of course I'll do what
I need to do, of course.
I'm just I I
think I'm just confused
'cause we're friends,
so why wouldn't you want
your artwork in the show?
I love that you have my art. It's
it's just it's
gonna be a whole thing,
you know, considering
what your parents do,
and I'm also being told about, like,
where I should be showing my art
and then where it should be seen.
And it's just, I don't know if
I want my art in the show
at this point.
So what my what my parents do?
Well, they take
advantage of poor people.
I I don't even
really see them anymore.
And my whole thing, my whole life
is about doing everything
that they don't do.
But you know what? This
is this is good, actually.
I needed to hear this.
Nobody tells me the truth, honestly.
And that's why we're friends
because you're always real with me.
And maybe I haven't been
as real with you, lately.
'Cause there's actually
been a lot of things
going on in my life that
you don't know about,
and that's not cool to do
as a friend, you know.
And I felt this distance
between us lately,
and I I know this is why.
So I'm insecure about myself
and I'm not telling you things.
But, um
I'm unhappy in my marriage
and I hide it well, right?
Like, who would even know that?
But I feel like he's holding me back
and I just wanna be artistic,
and philosophical,
and all he cares about
are the financials.
And it's so sad,
because I came here today
to ask you to be a
consultant for the show.
That's what I wanted to do.
It was gonna be so special. And
I mean you don't want even
want your art in the show,
so, like, what am I thinking?
I mean, I'm so lost.
I'm so off base. It's crazy.
I just I I should
I should just leave.
I should leave.
I didn't know I didn't
know about you and Asher.
I'm sorry.
Well, I mean, how would
you know that? I haven't been
telling you things.
I was so excited. It was
gonna be so special
and we have $15,000 to
$20,000 for this job,
and it's
So, what would what
would this job entail?
I just really wanna get
things right, you know?
And so if I if I have a
question about Tiwa or Tewa,
like I still mix those up.
And I you know, if have.
So so, like a Native
American consultant?
Yes. I mean, but it
it really wouldn't take
much of your time at all.
Would I would my name have to be
in the credits of the show or
I mean, if you felt
comfortable with that, yeah.
Could I could we
maybe do it anonymously?
It's a pretty big network show,
so, you know, if they
if they were paying you for this role,
I I do think it might
be a little bit weird
if it was anonymous, you know, like,
I don't know if they would want that.
So for and this is for $20,000?
I don't wanna force you
into anything. [LAUGHS]
And it's just to consult.
It's not about my art in the show?
[STAMMERS] Yes,
exactly, just to consult.
I mean, we could rip
this thing up right now.
I mean, you know, I'm just kidding.
You can you can take time
to think about it, of course.
But it's just to consult.
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so happy
we can talk like this. I
Yeah, yeah, me too.
[LAUGHS] Do you mind
if I get some water?
- No, no, please. Get some water.
- I'm thirsty from all of these.
Okay. I'm just gonna
use one of these mugs.
[TINKLING]
I'm so ugly that on Halloween
when I open the door,
kids give me candy.
- [LAUGH]
- That's funny, right?
Does anybody know what
comedian said that?
I'll give you a clue.
He gets no respect.
Steven Wright.
Actually, it is
Rodney Dangerfield, right?
We used to be really close friends,
but then he stopped talking
to me because I'm not funny.
All right. Well, show of hands,
how many of you, uh, know
who Rodney Dangerfield is?
All right. Well, he was the master
of self-deprecating humor.
And some say, that is
the safest form of comedy
because you're making yourself
the butt of the joke, right?
I know some of you right
now you're asking yourself,
"Jeff, you are an extremely handsome guy
and you seem to be pretty smart, too.
So how is that gonna
help me with my career?
How is it gonna help me if
I'm pointing out my flaws?"
Well, the answer is, and I know
I know I keep going back
to emotional intelligence,
but it is a form of
emotional intelligence.
People are drawn to those
who are self-aware, right?
And puts everybody at ease, right?
So, Rachael, you were,
uh, saying something
about, uh, mothering, smothering.
What were you saying?
I said, "Mothering, smothering,
what's the difference?"
Okay. Well, it's kind of a pun, right?
But you're also looking back
at yourself when you're saying
that you're an
overbearing mother, right?
So what can be the exaggeration on that,
that we can turn it into a joke?
I'm not a mother, I'm a smother?
That's close, but it's still a pun.
So let's, let's take a look
at, uh, Rodney here, okay?
Are we really to believe
that kids think he's so ugly
that they give him candy
because they think he's
wearing a monster costume?
No, no. And that's what makes it funny.
So what would happen if you
were to smother your kid,
like, like, way too much, right?
He would suffocate and die.
So you might say,
uh, "I'm really concerned
with my parenting skills
because I'm I'm
afraid I might be arrested
- for first degree smothering."
- [LAUGHTER]
Okay. Well, it's not the best joke,
but you guys get the idea, right?
Uh, Asher, you were, uh,
saying something about a career change.
How can we make a joke out of that?
Uh, perhaps maybe, uh, you were fired
or, um, nobody wants you?
Well, I wasn't fired. I left myself.
It was like a contract
job, so I chose to leave.
Okay. Sure, sure. But,
but again, we're we're,
uh, talking about
exaggeration here, right?
So all we really need is
just a kernel of truth.
So, um, maybe the other day,
uh, we were talking
and you were telling me
about an insecurity that
you have about yourself
and you thought it could
be the source of humor,
so why don't we, uh, try that?
Um
I'd, I'd rather not go into it.
Okay. Well, are, are
you sure? Because again,
you know, we all know
that for a joke to work,
um, we've got to be able to
stretch the truth a little, right?
We're not gonna take
everything literally.
Well, there's one thing I'd
like to stretch a little bit.
My penis.
Okay. Well, okay. That's a good start,
but let's try it again, but this time,
let's not literally say
the subject matter, right?
Let's just hint at the subject matter.
Well, there's one well,
there's one phrase I don't
no one ever says to me,
"Is that a banana in your pocket?"
Um, because even if I
could stretch my banana,
uh, no one would think I was happy.
Okay. Well, again, I
think maybe not exactly
because I mean the banana
Oh, because you can't stretch
a banana. I see, I see.
Does it really matter how he
phrases it? Can we just move on?
Well, I, you know, I I
would really love for this joke
to land properly for Asher.
No, yeah, I understand,
but I just, I mean,
I'm asking myself why
am I paying to watch you
workshop a masturbation
joke? I just wanna move on.
Okay. Well, I don't
think that Asher's joke
was to invoke masturbation, right?
I mean, Asher, do you wanna go
and explain your joke to everyone?
Uh, I'd prefer not to.
Well, Asher told me in private
that he has a small penis
and I think that is what the
joke was supposed to portray.
You know, penis size, you know,
that is a classic form
of self-deprecation.
[WOMAN] He wants to move on.
I don't understand why
you keep dwelling on it.
Okay. What about even if
you rub the genie bottle
really hard, you never see the genie?
Stop, okay? Stop.
Uh, I'm a man and I did not
think that joke was funny.
And I work with victims
of sexual assault
and I can guarantee you
that joke would not land.
Let's all right. This
is a learning opportunity.
Asher told a joke
that offended everyone.
So let's talk about this.
Okay, Asher, I'm gonna be blunt, right?
Um, you crossed the line and, you know,
you got to know when, uh, you're
going outside the boundaries,
and that's exactly what you just did.
I guess kind of the way
that you chose to phrase it,
- it was a little weird.
- I didn't even want to talk about it in class.
That's why I brought it
up with you privately.
So, you know, maybe
we could get together
and we could have a private session,
or maybe you could have, you know,
- the next round of classes.
- What are you saying?
You don't want me back in this class?
No, I do want you
back. You have my email.
You know, why don't you
contact me in a couple of months
and we'll get you in with the new group,
see how that goes. I mean, you know
Sure, sure.
[TEACHER] Are we good?
I don't need these fucking classes.
I don't need to come back to this.
If you were really
funny, you wouldn't be
teaching in a fucking Legion Hall.
- [TEACHER] Okay.
- You'd be on YouTube,
like the comedians I watch. Okay?
- That's a that's a cliche.
- I don't need this shit.
- Don't say that. That's not true.
- You put me in that situation.
- Relax.
- [ASHER] Whatever, man.
- Okay, dude.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[KEVIN HART] I'm serious, I did,
I thought my baby was a dumb baby.
But now I realize he's not dumb,
he just does dumb shit. Like I don't
I don't like the way my
son throws his tantrums.
You know, when a baby throw a tantrum,
he's supposed to fall out,
cry, roll on the ground.
That's a tantrum.
This is not a joke, this is for real.
[THUD]
It's the most retarded
thing I've seen in my life.
I can't say nothing.
I got to wait till he's finished
then explain to people what happened.
No, I know, exactly.
Yeah. Uh, hold on one second.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Okay. No, I know. I completely agree.
throughout our state,
we can only hope changes come soon,
especially to this area.
Monica Perez, KOE 7.
Thank you, Monica, shocking stuff.
There is nothing funny about addiction.
All right. Let's check in with Carey.
And brighten things up with forecast.
[CAREY] Ooh, well, I'll tell you
You know, gambling addiction
is a huge problem here
in our states and our reporting
uncovered questionable
practices at Whistling River.
Monica Perez reports.
The roll of the dice,
the spin of the wheel,
the turn of the card.
At any moment, you could be a winner.
But for more than 10 million Americans
who are addicted to gambling,
these images may remind
them of their life savings
going down the drain.
And to prevent this from happening,
local recovering addicts
like Joanna Hernandez
rely on the New Mexico
Gaming Control Board,
in collaboration with
the casinos themselves,
to prevent them from playing.
They let me in, they watch me play,
and when I win, they come up to me
and tell me "We're taking your money."
After losing her
daughter's college savings
through gambling seven years ago,
Ms. Hernandez joined the
Gaming Control Board's
self-exclusion program,
which forces casinos
like Whistling River, run
by the San Pedro Pueblo
to deny entry to addicts
like Ms. Hernandez.
But through our reporting, we discovered
the Gaming Control Board is
not only negligent in its duty
to deny that access and
protect those addicts,
but it's knowingly
allowing them to play.
This security footage we
obtained shows Ms. Hernandez
winning a $35,000 jackpot
at the Indian Dreaming slot machine,
at which point, several casino staff,
including an onsite inspector
from the New Mexico Gaming Control Board
appear on the casino floor.
You'll see here, the
casino staff stood by
as Ms. Hernandez switched
from slots to blackjack,
where her winning streak continued.
We figured out she had
an accurate self-exclusion
after she won the jackpot,
but when I went to go remove
her off the casino floor,
the inspector was like,
"No, no, no, let's wait,
let's leave her, see
how much she can win,"
like it was some sick game of his.
Watch here as the
control board inspector
and an unidentified casino staffer
seemed to find delight
in watching Ms. Hernandez
accumulate chips knowing full well
the casino is legally required
to confiscate everything she wins.
But one person who is not
laughing is Ms. Hernandez,
as it was not until the casino
let her accumulate upwards
of $70,000 in winnings
that they stepped in.
I was like, "Why? It's my money."
I won it. I'm gonna
leave with those chips
because my brother's gonna
come back and cash them in for me.
They tell me, "No, you have
to leave those chips here."
[REPORTER] While some casinos
use facial recognition technology
to catch problem gamblers
right at the door,
our reporting shows
the Gaming Control Board
has dragged their feet.
Whit?
Whit? Baby?
Did you see the news?
Was that you laughing?
It was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him he had to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY] You were
patting him on the back.
I was being friendly because
I was trying to persuade him.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
Why didn't you just stop her yourself?
Well, A, that's not my job.
And, B, the inspector could have been
I mean, he could have been annoyed
and we need to maintain
a good relationship
with the control board or
else it could hurt the casino.
[SIGHS] I mean, it's really hard to
explain the vibe in that moment.
You know, when you said
that you witnessed this,
I didn't realize that
you were part of it.
How could you accuse me
of being part of this?
I I was trying to
get him to remove her.
I'm I'm the one who blew the whistle
This news story is because of me.
You wouldn't have done anything
if I hadn't forced you to.
That's bullshit.
[WHITNEY] Is it bullshit?
You wouldn't do anything good
if I didn't force you to.
♪
[PHONE CHIMES]
♪
- There you go.
- Okay. Thank you.
And we're on good timing.
- You wanna follow me?
- Yeah.
So, we're gonna have you sit right here.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- She is.
- [CHUCKLES]
All right. You guys good?
- Rolling.
- [DOUGIE] All right.
So, all right. So, let me let's, um,
let's start off with, um,
how's your how's
your relationship doing?
How's it all going?
Uh, ooh, um
well, I think every relationship
reaches a point where you
start to question things.
You know, that that's normal,
everyone goes through that, you know?
You notice yourself
keeping little secrets,
things that you don't share with them,
because you wonder if
they'll have your back.
Uh, and you would think that if
you've spent years with someone,
that eventually at some point
you'd feel like you really know them.
But honestly, maybe sometimes
you never do.
Because you start to see
these glimpses of a person
that you don't recognize,
and it's it's scary.
And you wonder, is that the real them?
Is my idea of them just a
projection or is that real?
You know?
Do you ever feel like, um,
Asher is holding you back at all?
[CHUCKLES]
You're good at this. Um [CHUCKLES]
Because you guys are
are strong, right?
At the end of the day,
you're gonna survive, right?
Next question.
[EERIE MUSIC]
- All done?
- [MAN] Yeah.
- Can I see in a mirror?
- [MAN] Sure.
- Looks good. Thanks.
- [MAN] Welcome.
[DOUGIE] Anyways, so I'm
standing there and this guy is, like,
"Hey, you wanna fight?" And I'm like
- [LAUGHING]
- and somebody goes, "Bitch! Bitch!"
And I'm like, you know,
like, "I didn't say it."
- That's not good!
- I swear. I didn't say it.
Hundred percent. Totally.
- Yo, what's happening?
- What's funny?
Just, just some dumb story. But
- Can I hear?
- [LAUGHS]
- Okay.
- What was it?
Okay. I have to go. You're done with me?
- [DOUGIE] All good. That was great.
- Okay. Okay.
- [DOUGIE] Amazing.
- You're up.
Um, we're doing Shabbat tonight, are we?
- When I get home?
- I have plans.
I bought a challah on the way here.
I'll have it for breakfast.
Did you, um, buy a bunch
of stuff from Iosheka Jeans?
No, I gave them the credit card,
so that if someone shoplifts,
they can just charge me
instead of calling the police.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- I guess that's a good idea.
- I know.
- Hey, um, Asher,
we're just gonna have you,
uh, sit over here.
[ASHER] Okay.
Asher time! [VOCALIZING]
[CHUCKLES] What was the funny story?
Oh, it was just, uh, some
guy who thought I wanted
to fight him because I
happened to be stretching my jaw
when someone else said "bitch."
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
- We good?
- [TONYA] You better go do it because
we're a little bit over time.
Not even if we end 30
minutes early tomorrow?
- [TONYA] Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
- Really?
[TONYA] No, I've asked.
Great. I appreciate that. Thank you.
Um [CHUCKLES]
So looks like we're gonna
have to do you another day.
Whitney went long, so sorry about that.
But hey, at least you got
some nice, uh, beautiful makeup
for your Shabbat dinner. Which I want
I wanted to, uh, to
thank you by the way.
I really, really
wanted to thank you for,
for never inviting me. Not even once.
All right. You remember
I'm Jewish, right?
All right. You guys don't
have to stick around.
I know you don't wanna
stay any longer, so
[TONYA] I'm sorry about this.
Hey, don't be silly. It's, like
it's, like, flushing
money down the drain.
Can't we just do a wire?
You can just wire it to me,
it's the same thing, right?
It's just a transfer.
It's gonna count
against your inheritance
if I have to file a gift tax return.
Okay, fine. Just give me the cash.
Would you like me to
count this out to you?
No, I'm good.
So, you have a good day.
- You, too.
- Thank you.
Can you get me some receipt paper?
Can you get me some receipt paper?
Do I have to do it myself?
I know you only wanted
30 but there's 40.
That will save you a trip next time.
Well, there won't be a next time.
This is the only time.
That is what I love about you.
I'm serious. This is the last time.
Look at me. I am serious.
This is a loan, so add it.
You want the market interest
rate or friends and family?
Very funny.
Here is the 20 that we agreed upon.
And the way that production
accounting is working,
it's just easier for
them to pay you in cash.
- Wow.
- [CHUCKLES]
Nice. I'm using the kitchen.
God
Have you, um, thought
any more about your work
being featured on the show?
Um, no, I haven't.
So, it's just in the home,
it's not you're not talking about it.
It's just there, right?
No, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just in the background.
Right. I think I'd be cool with that.
- Really? Yeah?
- Yeah.
Amazing. Okay. Um
God, it's so annoying
that they make us do this.
They made me sign this exact same thing
to feature the homes on the show,
just because I guess they're, like,
considered art or
whatever. [CHUCKLES] Um
so, this is the consultant contract.
So, you just sign here.
All right.
And then your address goes there.
And then you'll just do the
same for the contract underneath.
Oh, my God. [CHUCKLES]
I saw you have a hoop outside.
Yeah, it was, uh, there
when I rented the place.
Yeah, I tried out for junior
varsity but I didn't make it.
- [CARA] Mm-hmm.
- Do you play?
Just HORSE.
Let's play.
Right now?
Yeah, if you're free.
Yeah, I guess I'm free.
Yeah. I mean, we don't have to
if you have other stuff to do.
Sure. Let's let's do it.
Okay.
[DRIBBLING CONTINUES]
[WHITNEY] All right. So this one,
spin around until
you're dizzy, five times.
- Okay.
- And then your feet are off the ground,
you have to yell, "Ow!"
Okay? Ready? One, two, three,
four, five. Ow!
- [CARA] Oh, you made it!
- Oh!
Oh, yes!
Your turn. Exact same thing.
Let's do it. Five times, jump,
feet off the ground, shout.
[INDISTINCT]
♪
H-O-R.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER]
Was that you laughing?
[ASHER ON RECORDER] It
was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him he had to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] You
were patting him on the back.
[ASHER ON RECORDER] I was being friendly
because I was trying to persuade him.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] Why
didn't you just stop her yourself?
Was that you laughing?
[ASHER ON RECORDER] It
was me, but she completely
misrepresented what I was doing.
I was telling him we need to remove her.
That's why I was pointing.
[WHITNEY ON RECORDER] You
were patting him on the back.
But there's some makeup that
you can wear in the water
so when you swim,
it will stay on after,
and you can wear it for
the rest of the month
and you never have to replace it.
But how does it stick?
I don't know. It just does.
It sticks on your skin.
- [GIRL SCREAMS]
- Oh, my God! Josie!
Ms. Donna!
Are you okay?
We need a teacher!
Josie, are you okay?
No, it hurts.
♪