The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e07 Episode Script

1
-The cat's so cute!
-Come here.
I'm often asked if I'm a dog person
or a cat person.
My answer is, "Who cares?"
Even the cutest of dogs and cats
end up looking like this and this.
Let me ask you this.
Do you prefer the bones
on the left or the right?
The answer is,
"It doesn't matter," isn't it?
Some people base their choices
on the preconceptions they hold
such as "dogs seem smart,"
or "cats are spoiled."
But that's just a wrong assumption
people make.
Don't touch me, you female hominoid.
This is what they're thinking.
Since I can hear the voices
of animals with my telepathic powers,
I have no preconceptions.
Summer or Winter? Winter.
Mushrooms or bamboo shoots? Mushrooms.
But a question regarding dogs and cats
is too vague for me to answer.
It's like asking me if I prefer
Mr. Sato or Mr. Suzuki.
Wait! Come back, human!
-Stop!
-Good grief.
I can't believe this guy.
How could he ignore
a cute animal in distress?
Now, hurry up and get me out!
Play your cards right,
and I'll let you pet me.
What? Wait! Hold up!
Good grief. What a pain.
What is this guy's deal?
Oh! He must be a dog person!
I wasn't either,
but I feel more drawn to dogs now.
Anyway, do you want me to help you or not?
What is going on?
I can hear his voice
even though he hasn't been talking.
Yes. It's because I'm talking
directly to your brain
since I can't speak cat.
Wait, is he a
-cat?
-No.
Oh, then it makes things easier.
Yes.
All you have to do is say,
"Please help me."
Now, help me already.
Play your cards right,
and I'll even let you pet me.
What?
Wait! Okay! Let's make a deal!
If you get me out of here,
you may pet me for three minutes straight!
You can even touch my paws
No! He's gone!
Wait, okay! You can rub
under my chin, too!
Just hear me out at least!
Why is he so arrogant?
Can't you just say, "Please help me"?
"Please help me"?
Get real! Who do you think
you're talking to?
I'm a cat! Why would a proud,
elite organism like me,
bow my head to a lower being like a human?
What is he talking about?
Humans might think they're superior,
but face the reality!
Humans present us with food
when all we do is sleep.
But that's not all!
You forgive us even when we tip over
the garbage can!
Or if we hit reset on your video game,
you still forgive us!
Or if we spill ink on those panels
that are almost due,
you barely forgive us!
The world revolves around us cats.
We cats rule this world.
Hey! Get back here!
How many more times
are we going to repeat this?
-This is getting tiring.
-You're the one making me repeat myself.
-Let me just say one thing to you.
-What?
Say, "Please help me."
This is your last chance.
I'm not coming back again.
What is it with this guy?
How could he talk to a cat like this?
Does he not want to pet me?
No, he must be bluffing!
There is no way he could abandon
such a cute cat like me
There is no
He can!
I'm definitely sensing that he can!
Wait! Okay! I'll say it! You win!
Good grief!
"Please help me." There, happy?
Who would find this cute?
-What?
-Hurry up and get out.
What is with this guy?
What are you going to do to me?
Oh! Is he going to pet me?
I knew it!
You can't help yourself, can you?
Go on. Pet me as much as you want.
What?
How dare you! I will show you
how terrifying cats can be!
I'm home.
How was your day, honey?
Dinner's already ready.
-Oh, right
-What?
-Honey, what is with your tummy?
-What?
-Show it to me!
-It's nothing!
It's something dirty, isn't it?
Show it to me!
Oh! It's a kitty!
He's so cute! Where did he come from?
He was just walking around
in front of the house, so
-Can we keep him?
-This cat
I'll take care of him!
Buttering up humans is child's play.
I'm going to captivate you all
and take over your place here!
I'm sorry, I'm allergic to cats.
Too bad.
I hate Christmas.
At a glance, the lights are pretty
and everyone seems to be in a happy mood.
But where there is light,
there is always shadow.
Even this happiness
She's so irritating.
It is shrouded by someone's dark thoughts.
-Even if they seem happy
-Let's come next year, too.
-Sure.
-Like we would still be together then.
I'll break up with him
after I get my present.
-The girl I liked rejected me.
-There are some people
who think like this.
Nowadays, the only ones
excited about Christmas
are children and sappy couples.
Of course, my parents get excited
because they fit both criteria.
It's like this every year at my house.
What? I'm getting a bad feeling.
-Oh, Ku. Welcome home.
-Hey, where have you been, pal?
LOCK
We just ran into each other
at the grocery, so I invited him.
Parties are better
with more people after all!
-Yeah, I really lucked out.
-Give me a break.
Now, my own interests aside,
this is what you would expect
from a typical Christmas episode.
So, what's this garbage?
-Are you my love interest?
-I'm home!
-He's home!
-Good grief.
I forgot about the other pain in the butt.
Merry Christmas!
Santa's here.
You should've told me
that we have a guest.
I just made a fool of myself.
-But you are a fool.
-So, who is he?
That's Ku's friend Nendo.
A friend of Kusuo's?
Not you, too.
I see. That cheeky
and uncooperative Kusuo,
who I would have smacked
if he didn't have powers,
-has made a friend.
-You want a beating?
Nice to meet you, Nendo!
I'm Kusuo's father, Kuniharu.
Oh, you're my pal's dad?
Nice to meet you.
He looks like a freaking criminal.
Is that really his friend?
His face is like a gangster's!
-He's a good boy.
-Are you done yet?
This is really well-made.
I actually thought you really were Santa.
What, really?
That makes you happy?
Merry Christmas!
You know, Nendo!
You really get it, don't you?
-You really turned around quick there.
-I like how you believed I was Santa.
Ever since he was an infant,
Kusuo would look at me
like I was human waste
when I dressed up like Santa.
Then why didn't you just stop?
You're such a good-natured boy, Nendo.
What? I'm not that good or anything.
I mean, Santa's never come to me before.
What did you say?
What has your father been doing?
I don't have a dad.
He died before I was born.
-What?
-I had no idea
I'm sorry if we brought up
painful memories.
What? It's fine.
I have got my mom.
Yes, Santa never came,
but I'm not sad or anything.
I see.
Would you excuse us for a second?
You two keep eating.
Wait, what?
You know, pal,
I can't believe your dad
dressed up like Santa.
-You haven't seen anything yet.
-Would my dad have done the same?
I'm sorry for stepping out like that.
Where's Pal's dad?
Oh, he had to step out to lick
a client's shoe or something.
Let's just continue without him.
What? What the heck?
Someone looking like Santa
is trying to open the window!
Oh, no!
I told you to open it for me!
I'm sorry, I just didn't think
you would come so soon.
They're a mess.
Hi there, Nendo.
Nice to meet you, I'm Santa.
See? He's a pretty strange father,
isn't he?
There is no way
this is going to work again.
Even Nendo is going to realize
-It's the real Santa!
-I guess not.
-This is freaking awesome.
-Well, it is Nendo.
Will you shake my hand, Santa?
Okay.
You guys are way too excited. Good grief.
Oh, I know! If you're Santa,
you must have reindeer with you.
-What?
-Actually,
I'm more excited
about meeting the reindeer.
Okay, I have one waiting outside.
Why don't you take a look?
-Please, Kusuo!
-Don't get me involved.
-Please, Ku! Help us, okay?
-Oh, fine.
I guess it'd be good enough.
Wow! It's a reindeer! Awesome!
It's just a regular deer.
Here's your present, Nendo.
Wow! Are you sure?
It was supposed to be my present.
Alright! That's my second one this year.
What? Second?
I thought you've never received
a present before.
No, not from Santa.
But my mom always gets me one.
Every year she leaves me a present
by my pillow while I'm asleep.
I don't understand why, though.
She could just hand it to me directly.
She's a good mother.
JANUARY 1S
NEW YEAR'S DAY
It's so crowded.
Of course it is. It's New Year's Day.
Good grief, I would rather spend
my New Year's quietly at home.
I hope I can have another happy year
with my beloved wife.
-What? Why are you making that wish to me?
-What are you talking about?
It's because you're my goddess.
This is not how I want to start
my new year.
A wish?
I can always grant my own wish,
not that I have any.
Besides, I don't believe in any god.
Please let me win 200 million
in the lottery.
That's not what you wished for earlier.
-Please, Lord! Please, Kusuo!
-And you're basically just asking me.
Whatever.
I suppose I should make a wish, too.
I hope I can have a quiet New Year's.
-Okay, now I can go home
-What? Saiki!
See? There is no god.
-This must be fate.
-This isn't how I wanted to start my year.
Your scarf is dragging.
Are you here visiting a shrine
for New Year's?
Me? I was just passing by.
God doesn't exist in this world anyway.
Hello! I'm Kusuo's dad!
And I'm his mom! You're so cute!
Thank you so much
for being friends with Ku!
What? Oh!
Nice to meet
I'm the Jet-Black
Kaido!
Oh, your name is Kaido?
I am also thankful
to be his friend. Right. I am.
-Can't you be more consistent?
-So, you have friends
-Make up your mind!
-other than Nendo, Kusuo.
-Nendo isn't a friend.
-I was so surprised.
Yes. Me, too.
I never expected Kusuo
to have two friends.
No, not that.
I actually just wished for Ku
to have plenty of friends.
And it's already come true!
Then why can't they grant me my wish, too?
Oh, I actually wished for the same thing!
You and I think so alike!
You wished for 200 million.
You haven't visited the shrine yet,
have you Kaido?
-You should go.
-Oh, right!
-Capital idea!
-"Capital idea?"
I guess I'll go have a talk with god.
So, is there a god or not?
Kaido is such a good boy, too.
Yes. He's dragging his scarf,
but he's a good kid.
Your standards are way too low.
Saiki's parents are a little strange,
but they seem really nice.
I hope to make a lot of friends this year!
You too?
I never thought I would end up
having to fight a god.
Then what was that 90-degree bow?
What did you wish for, Kaido?
Oh! It's a secret!
So, after contemplating your character,
you went with stammering?
That's the wrong choice.
What? Kaido!
Oh, Hairo!
What? Saiki, too? What a coincidence.
Happy New Year!
You're not dressed for the weather.
Wait, is this my prayer being answered?
Right.
Are you both here to visit the shrine?
I am, too.
Saiki, who are these people?
So, you're Saiki's parents!
Nice to meet you!
I'm Kusuo's class representative.
My name is Kineshi Hairo.
Kusuo is always helping me.
What a great kid!
Hairo is such a good and polite boy!
Although he's dressed for summer.
I didn't know Ku has so many friends.
I think I'm going to cry from happiness.
When did you become so sociable?
They all just follow me around
on their own.
More importantly,
there's something I'm curious about.
I hope to meet a good rival
I can compete with.
I wish that person to be equal parts
worthy adversary and friend!
That's passionate.
What did you wish for, Hairo?
It's a secret.
What is with everyone wishing for friends?
-Hey, it's you guys.
-What?
Hey! What are you all doing here?
Nendo!
Oh! It's my pal's mom and dad.
Could this be
Is he the man who will be
my worthy adversary?
Nendo, do you play tennis or anything?
Well, I have never played before,
but I bet I'm good.
Everyone seems to be getting
their wishes granted.
I'm sure it's just a coincidence
because my wish
hasn't been granted at all.
By the way, Nendo,
have you prayed at the shrine yet?
Oh, you mean the thing
where you ring the bell?
All right, I guess I'll go do it now.
You're going to do it, too?
Not that I think any more will be granted,
just don't wish for something weird.
All right!
Okay, let's go get some ramen.
What kind of ritual was that?
All you have done is ring the bell.
Here, let me show you how to do it.
Okay, first you give an offering.
You ring the bell after that.
After you ring the bell,
bow your head twice.
Once you clap twice, you make a prayer
May a good woman appear before Kusuo.
-Hold on, what did you just pray for?
-Bow your head one last time.
-No, this has to be a coincidence.
-Show it to me one more time
-Besides, Dad has already prayed once.
-Sure.
-First, do this.
-It won't be granted.
-Oh, is that
-Stop this.
I don't even need to look.
Wow! Saiki, what a coincidence.
So lucky to run into him here.
I mean, Saiki is the lucky one.
Great, the whole cast is here now.
Who
Who is this beauty?
She knows Kusuo?
Wait, did my prayer get answered already?
Anyway, I'm so jealous of him
talking to a girl this pretty.
Not my problem.
Oh! Teruhashi!
Who is it this time? Who is this?
Hi, Teruhashi!
What are you doing here?
Nice to meet you, I'm Kusuo's father.
I'm Ku's mom!
What is going on?
I just want some peace and quiet.
What? Are you going home, Kusuo?
I know! Why don't you all come over?
We have New Year's food.
Yes! Please come!
-Oh! Let's go!
-If we won't be too much trouble.
How come you're not granting my wish, God?
Don't you need to pray
at the shrine, Teruhashi?
It's okay, I can do that later.
There isn't anything I need to pray for.
The reason I'm here
is to bring happiness to the people
who came to the shrine for New Year's.
Sounds like a god complex.
It was their first dream, smile,
and gasp of the year!
What does that even mean?
All right! Let's go, then!
Wow! This mashed sweet potatoes
and chestnuts are great!
-Eat up!
-I love eating!
-You're eating too much!
-My only sanctuary
This is very good. Please teach me
how to make it sometime.
Really? Of course I will!
You'll make a good wife one day,
Teruhashi.
-This is a nightmare.
-Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you, everyone,
for being Ku's friend.
You don't have to thank us.
We want to be his friends.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I'm just so happy.
Ku has never had many friends
because he's a psychic.
Well, at least it's finally quiet.
Honey, I don't think
you should have shared that bit.
So, what are you going to do
about this, God?
What do you mean by psychic?
-Honey, you have to say something.
-Well
Calm down. There's no reason to panic.
For example,
if your friend's mother said
Ken is a psychic.
What would your normal response be?
The answer is this.
Nobody would take it seriously.
Not to mention it's coming from someone
with my mother's personality.
Panicking will only make it
seem more suspicious.
All we have to do is stay calm
and change the subject.
You're right, let's see
Oh, do you guys know the Shonen Jump logo?
You know, that pirate one.
Oh, yes. I'm familiar.
If you turn that symbol by 90 degrees
it looks like a girl's side profile.
I just thought I would point that out.
Now, look what you have done.
You just made it worse.
Oh, wow! I definitely see it!
Here, take a look.
-Wow, you're right! I see it!
-Nendo
Nice save.
We managed to change
the subject successfully.
-So, what's this psychic you mentioned?
-Get out.
Did you know that a female sunfish
-lays 300 million eggs at once?
-You get out, too.
I'm out of options.
Oh, no! I'm so sorry!
-Are you okay?
-Oh, my!
Okay, that should do it.
But it might have been too late.
Thank you for the meal!
I am in your debt. I mean, thank you.
You are all welcome to come back again.
His parents were surprisingly cheerful.
Yes.
Anyway, do you not know what manners are?
You acted like you were at home!
What? And what about you?
You were stammering non-stop.
Come on, let's not fight
on the first day of the new year.
Anyway, what do you think that was about?
The psychic Saiki's mother mentioned
Good question.
I wonder what that was about.
Good grief.
So, the diversions didn't work.
I'm sure it was just a joke, but
And Dad just made it worse.
Yeah, but Saiki's mom is a little weird.
-But they tried so hard
-Yes, it's true my mother is strange,
but you're one to talk.
You guys read too many comics.
-You're one to talk.
-I'm kidding.
Oh, I'm headed this way,
so I'll see you guys later.
Oh, I'm that way.
I'm going that way,
so I guess this is goodbye.
-Oh? Which way do I go again?
-Don't ask me.
See you at school, then!
Now, what do I do now?
Currently,
nobody really believes that I'm a psychic,
but it's all embedded in their memories.
While I don't feel good about doing this,
I have no other choice now that they know.
Don't take it personally.
I'll use this Nanana-looking object
-to make it go away.
-Hey!
What was that?
That should do it.
I have erased his memory.
I have deleted all memories
related to the keyword "psychic"
with my power
and this Nanana-looking object.
While a detailed explanation
gets a little complicated,
I can basically only delete
a minute's worth of memory at best.
Now, I need to do this three more times.
It really is a huge pain.
And there is another downside
to this ability.
-Happy New Year!
-Happy New Year!
Hey, Saiki.
Looks like we're back to boring school.
Well, I guess that's understandable
after everything that happened
on New Year's.
I never thought Saiki was
Ku doesn't have many friends
because he lives in a fantasy.
Ignorant fools would accuse me
of the same thing.
So, I know exactly how you feel.
Don't worry, you'll always have me
in your corner.
Saiki!
This is the sign of our friendship.
-Don't you forget it.
-Don't worry. I won't even remember it.
This is the other downside.
Memory replacement.
When I erase a memory,
there is a blank area in the brain.
When that occurs,
the human mind automatically regenerates
and fills that section
with a different memory.
The way the memory changes
depends on the individual,
so I have no way of knowing.
Oh, it's Saiki.
I haven't seen him
since the New Year's incident.
It was such a surprise
to learn that about Saiki.
Ku doesn't have a lot of friends
because he distrusts people.
To think he has trust issues!
As it depends on the individual,
each of their memories will differ.
I'm sure he was hurt by a girl
he had feelings for.
In any case, this explains why
Saiki doesn't gasp when he sees me.
Don't worry, this goddess will
open your heart.
Sometimes the restored memories
will turn out better,
and sometimes they turn out worse
like in this case.
Hey, Saiki! New Year's was
Well, that's understandable.
I never thought
I would learn that about Saiki.
Ku used to be captain of the tennis club,
but he was so consumed with winning
that the other club members
kicked him out for it.
That's why he hasn't had many friends.
Why is your memory so long?
Nendo
I'm not sure what's going on,
but I'm almost certain
that it's not a good memory for me.
He seems much more clingy
than he was before the memory erasing.
Why don't we go watch
the tennis practice sometime?
Saiki, do you feel a rift in the world?
"Ku"! I tried copying your mom.
It seems that I'm no match for a god.
When it comes to New Year's,
there's one phrase that comes to mind.
And Hairo was the only one to ever say
"Happy New Year."
Next time
It's that special holiday episode
which always follows New Year's,
and a new character arrives.
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto