The Guild (2007) s01e07 Episode Script

Home Invasion

I have a headache.
Maybe because my skull hit the floor yesterday.
Zaboo locked himself in the bathroom right after his mom got here, and she's been yelling at him through the door for, uh All night.
Wait.
I don't hear anything.
Maybe they left.
Help me.
Help me.
Um, so Clara dropped her kids off at the curb? It was a loading zone, and she couldn't wait.
It's cool.
I rounded them up.
I still don't understand how you got the kids.
We settled it the adult way.
We dueled for it.
I kicked his ass! Lucky proc.
QQ more.
Wait! Listen! Do you smell that? Blintzes? Uh, sure.
Your poor head.
I'm like a mama cougar with her cubs.
Mess with my baby, I rip out your spleen.
Yeah.
That's creepy.
You can imagine how upset I was yesterday.
I went to give Sujan his bath, he was gone! No note.
He didn't answer his cell phone.
It was like having a hysterectomy all over again.
Right.
You went to give him his bath? More quality time with my son.
So, you guys leaving soon? Yes.
I finally convinced him your homely charm isn't worth throwing his life away for.
He's packing now.
You'd better not stop him.
No! Don't worry.
Zaboo came here by himself.
I did not invite him.
"Zaboo"? You renamed him? How sweet.
Like the Moonies.
No, no, no! It's his character name in the game we play together.
Online.
Sounds kind of lame when you explain it to real people, but He'd better still be a virgin.
Uh I'll go say good-bye.
Hey! Hey, what's going on? Delicious drama.
Bladezz just posted a video on the official forums.
It's a PR disaster! Oh, my God! How did he make our characters naked? And animated.
And why make me defile everyone? It's against my alignment! Don't worry, kids.
They're just dancing.
Oh.
There you are.
Look what Bladezz posted! Oh, wow.
It's you and me naked.
Doing it.
Nake'd.
Sex'd Whatever.
Well, I guess this is good-bye.
Uh, yeah, well, it was a nice visit.
I'll talk to you on the other side.
So true.
Okay.
Logging off.
Tink! Weren't you going to talk some sense into Bladezz? I just said that to make the meeting end quicker.
Oh, my fucking God! What is that smell? It's the babies! Diaper change? No way! She never said I had to touch them.
Bladezz's video is gonna get us perma-banned from the game! "The Knights of Good: Lovin' Edition" is plastered all over the place.
Well, maybe if we PM a forum moderator and Oh, my God!
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