The Knights of Prosperity (2007) s01e07 Episode Script

the knights of prosperity 107 gentlemen, months of preparation have finally come down to this.
tonight, at the stroke of midnight, the knights of prosperity finally rob mick jagger.
why does this sound like i've heard this before? tonight's different, gary.
we've learned from our mistakes, hmm? we're ready.
rockefeller's got another solo shift tonight, so we don't have to worry about the guards.
now i'm gonna take care of the keys and the access code to mick's apartment and the, uh, rubber thumb to get past the thumbprint scanner.
you better hold on to that bag, 'cause everything we accomplished in the last two months is in there.
uh, not everything.
uh, i made out that lady.
remember? who remembers that? i do.
speaking of ladies, where's the hootchy-kootchy girl? we have to leave here in 15 minutes.
uh, esperanza is not a "hootchy-kootchy girl.
" yet, somehow you knew who i meant.
i'm sure she's on her way.
i hope so.
yesterday she said she was gonna bring some preburglaring quesadill.
i'm hungry.
you can go, girls.
i'll lock up.
i just have to change my clothes.
bye.
good night.
sorry! we're closed! but i have traveled thousands of miles to visit this diner.
perhaps a cup of coffee? enrico.
perhaps a whole pot? "mad libs," anyone? so what do you say, chief? we gonna do this without esperanza? we can't.
she's the only one who climb over fence and open the gate from the inside.
i'm gonna try calling her at work again.
i always had my doubts about women in the gang.
your people don't let them in the mafia.
your people don't let them in the crips and the bloods, and my people didn't let them in the cult of thuggee to commit ritual strangulations in service of the goddess kali.
i'm just saying.
where myuesadillas at? she's not answering at work, at home, on her cell.
guys, i'm getting worried.
let's go find her.
come on.
in this country, they have a poster.
it's very common on the walls of secretaries and clerical workers and etceteras.
on this poster is a butterfly and these words- "if you love something, set it free.
"if it come back to you, it is yours.
if it is no, it never was.
" we have all seen this poster? yes.
many times, enrico.
no, but i have heard a very similar song from a sting.
this poster is stupid because the butterfly does not decide if she is mine.
enrico decide.
please, enrico.
you misunderstood.
then explain to me, because i proposed you to be my wife.
you said you must think about it.
then you disappear.
but i have been thinking about it.
for three years? it is a big decision.
i hate to call in sick, but i got one of them 24-hour "sinusitises.
" i be back tomorrow.
that was a really good sick guy voice.
it's also my white guy voice.
it is true.
they do talk like that.
all right.
come on, guys.
Let's hit the diner.
come on, guys.
let's hit the diner.
why do they call this a denver omelet? what is s relationship to the city of denver? i don't know.
Esperanza! get rid of him.
where have you been? we've been looking all over for you.
uh, i've been working late.
I still have one table left.
hey, guys, you mind takin' those plates to go? me and the little lady have a party to attend at a very fancy rock star's apartment, huh? i'm not going to any party.
i still have customers.
i'm sure these guys won't mind.
we really have to go.
let me just grab you a doggy bag, okay? and nothing like eating an omelet outside on a cool, crisp february night in new york city.
am i right? take him outside.
no problem, enrico.
enrico? the enrico? go now.
i'm not going anywhere till you tell me you're okay.
i'm fine.
just go.
okay.
well, you guys have a nice time in the city.
make sure you get one of those "sex and the city" tours.
those chicks had crazy, sexy bad mouths, huh? guys! how them quesadillas coming? forget the quesadillas! her ex-boyfriend enrico's in there with two guys with guns, and they won't let her go with us.
enrico the colombian drug lord? oh, jeez louise.
he is a terrible man.
she tell me one time he get so angry, that he rip a man's ear off! the d.
s.
l.
guy.
she's been hiding from him for three years, and now he's found her, but whatever he's got planned, it's our job to stop him.
our jobs? to stop a colombian drug lord? that's right.
i'm sure that there are people better equipped for this job than us, but who would such people be? oh, yes, the police!the fbi! the department of homeland security! you want to bring the cops to this? are you crazy they start poking around, we're all going to jail.
listen, besides, we're the knights of prosperity, okay? we take care of our own.
y'all enjoy them ears while they're still stuck to your head.
my ears.
enrico's s.
u.
v.
just pulled over.
what is this place? the hippest of hip new nightclubs.
i drop people here all the time- your euro fashionistas, your young actresses with jewel-encrusted cell phones, your wilmer walderramas.
aw, man, she's got a fancy dress.
enrico must be loaded.
you sure she needs rescuing, chief? 'cause she looks pretty okay to me.
have you ever heard of "bird kill the cage" ? no.
why? what? what's that, a boo come on, guys.
let's go.
a toast.
i'm not thirsty- you will drink, esperanza to this-the life you should be living, not covered in grease, begging for tips, but sipping champagne, wearing the finest clothings, eating oysters of multiple varieties.
i like the medium-sized ones.
enrico's gonna be watching esperanza like a hawk.
now we gotta buy enough time to separate her from those guys and get her out of here, okay? good news is, this place is loud and dark, all right? it's gonna be perfect for the job.
uh, but, mr.
gurkin, there's no way we're gonna get into this place.
yeah, get a load of competition.
that's a whole mess of glitterati.
guys, guys, guys.
listen, if you act like you belong, you belong.
watch this.
must get through.
'scuse.
sorry.
must get through.
'scuse me.
eh, hello, big-time american party friend, ah? it's me, victor barshevski, owner of big-time russian vodka company.
yes, i must meet the puff daddy inside.
what? we are collaborating on new vodka drink for the black people.
they love it.
health inspector.
we have a report of serious code violations.
let me see that badge again.
there is no time! you have serious code violations! coming through.
whoa.
hey, i gotta get back downstairs.
i got that water main break to fix.
come on, you bald bastard.
oh, my god! this is so crazy, man! i was inside making crazy party just two seconds ago! what song was playing when you left? uh do you believe in life after love? there is something that's inside of me okay, you force me to call my supervisor.
supervisor! i'm his supervisor.
y'all violatin' some serious-ass codes, yo.
we about done here? i believe, yes.
enrico, i must tell you the truth.
the truth? and what is this? i am a very sick woman.
that's why i left you.
i have the deadliest of the diseases.
you are telling me that you have the acquired immunity deficiency syndrome? enough with this nonsense.
here is the truth- you left me because you do not love me enrico, you - but i did not come here to convince you to love me.
no? i come here because you disgraced me.
you took away my honor, and in my business- the business of alternative pharmaceuticals- honor is everything.
then what do you want? tomorrow morning, you will fly with me back to colombia.
you will stand with me side by side once again as my wife.
no, enrico - only then will my honor be restored.
uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh, no, no okay! whoa, guys, hey.
check out the new bouncer.
oh, uh, he looks about my age.
i- i-i got this one.
let me try first.
'sup? 'sup? we good? a'ight.
so much was said with so little.
it is like a haiku.
all right, guys.
focus, all right? we got one shot at this.
gary, rockefeller, create a diversion.
louis, come with me.
watch where you're going.
what did you call me? you heard me.
oh, it's on.
prepare for a world of pain.
it's on, it's on.
our strengths are evenly matched.
beware my tiger punch.
whoo! ugh.
enrico, are you tired? i'm tired.
let's leave the club, no? we're all tired.
shots here.
a brown frown, a bearded lady oh, miss.
whoa! whoa, whoa.
uh what are you doing? take him outside and have some fun with him.
okay, just don't cut off my ears! oh, oh, easy there, fellas.
ma'am, i am so sorry.
this kid is a jackass.
jackass, go, go.
get out of here.
it is so hard to find good help these days.
let me make this right, and allow me to escort you to the ladies' room where i can have you cleaned up.
gentlemen, drinks- they're on the house all night long.
pedro, pedro, pedro! get some potato skins and spaghetti over here! pronto! let's go! enjoy.
god bless.
se mang'! what are you doing? saving you.
come on, come on, come on.
everybody's waiting.
we're gonna sneak you out back.
eugene, you're crazy.
if enrico finds you here with me, he'll kill you.
that's just a chance I'm not to take.
but he'll kill me, too.
come on.
what are we waiting for? you can go hide out at the warehouse, huh? until he gives up or goes back to colombia or you could stay with me at my place.
i have an inflatable mattress.
you don't understand.
he'll never give up.
if i run, he'll find me.
i don't wanna live the rest of my life in hiding.
well, so what are you gonna do? i'm going to colombia with him.
what?! why? because he says so.
hes not the boss of you.
you have one life, esperanza.
do not throw it away on a guy like enrico.
i have no choice.
besides, is it any worse than my life here? i know, but we have a plan to change all that.
remember? it's called "let's rob mick jagger.
" you will have to do it without me.
oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
we can't do it without you.
you're the only one who can jump that fence.
me and the rest of the guys, we're we're terrible at jumping things.
i'm sorry.
no.
no, i'm sorry.
there's no way i'm gonna let enrico treat esperanza villalobos like a piece of property.
i don't care if he is mr.
cocaine superstar.
hola,mistres amigos.
oh, no need to stand.
it's okay.
i hope you're having a good evening.
uh, bienvenidos a estados unidos.
yo me llamo eugene gurkin.
now, enrico, when i got wind of your little plan, i have to admit, a little alarm went off in my head.
okay okay.
now we're both gentlemen, and i know what you want out of life, and i do, too.
you want a lady friend who believes in you as much as you believe in her, and that's great, but do you really think dragging esperanza off to colombia is gonna build some kind of trust? if you bother me again, i will kill you.
if you speak to esperanza again, i will kill you.
if i even see you again, i will you know, kill you.
i'm sorry.
you, uh, you can't do that.
it's illegal.
eugene, he just cracked the walnut with the gun.
please go.
all right.
look, i didn't want it to come to this, but, uh, you pushed me.
all right, here it goes, guy.
she's just not that into you.
get rid of him.
ow! maybe you misunderstood, but what i really meant to say was you deserve better.
please, enrico, don't hurt him.
i'll go with you to colombia.
that was never in question.
take her back to the hotel.
jaime and i will take care of this one.
ow! esperanza! esperanza! aah! what did you do? don't worry.
your little hobo friend will not annoy us any longer.
don't tell me- enough about him.
put on this little silky garment and let us go to sleep.
in the morning, sexual intercourse.
enrico- go! save me somebody save me call in the caped crusader, green hornet what are you doing? totaling my receipts so enrico could pay me back.
what? well, every time enrico wants something, i have to buy.
hot dog here, bottled water there it all adds up.
you're a jackass.
oh, my god.
you're alive! oh, esperanza.
come in, come in.
ay, dios mío.
what did they do to you? poor eugene, you need ice.
so what-what happened? did you, uh, just escape? that's really amazing.
you have no ice- only a turkey neck.
oh, that's nice.
you were right.
i only have one life.
i don't want to spend it with enrico.
exactly! this is fantastic.
make yourself comfortable.
i- i mean, i know the place doesn't seem too big, but it'll do, and look plenty of space for your duds.
what do you say, roomie? no, eugene, i told you, there's no point in hiding.
enrico will find me.
we need to find a way to stop him.
maybe we can make one of those calls to an anonymous cop line.
you know, like, uh, we could say we know where he's staying.
i mean he's a he's a drug kingpin, for god's sake! he has the best lawyers money can buy.
he won't spend one day in jail.
i don't know.
i mean, there's gotta be something we can do.
do you think maybe we can oh, never mind.
no, what? i cannot say it.
no, come on.
maybe it'll lead to other ideas.
i was thinking we kill him? esperanza! i'm speet-balling.
i know, but murder? yore right.
we can't do it.
there's no way out.
i must go back now before he discovers that i'm gone and comes looking for both of us.
eugene, thank you for being my friend.
i will never forget you.
guys, sorry to get you out of bed at 5:00 a.
m.
, but it's recently come to my attention that it would probably be hoove us if we were to you know, um ahem.
just, uh, ahem.
you know, basically, well, you know, uh, go down there and, uh, kill enrico.
what?! oh, no.
no, no, no.
the boy's head done exploded.
this is not what you said, "let's rob mick jagger," not "let's kill a colombian drug lord"! i admit,it is a bit of a side track.
oh, i think i'm gonna puke.
look, murder's not always wrong, guys.
what if you could go back in a time machine and kill hitler? look, chief, just because your whip don't mean we gotta kill a guy.
yeah, but if we don't make enrico take him back on his plane to colombia, and then her life will be over.
eugene, we ain't gon' kill nobody.
okay, to be honest, i wasn't crazy about murder either, so let's just try and come up with some other alternatives.
all right? remember, there are no bad ideas.
let's brainstorm.
all right, let 'em rip.
keep 'em comin'! we got, uh three minutes.
okay, no pressure.
we've got, uh, two minutes.
can i have a receipt for that? just get the bags.
do you know i put in a pool? beautiful lagoon-style, with plants and big fiberglass rocks.
every day, you will swim for me.
what is this? i feel ridiculous in this t-shirt.
is this some kind of joke? aha! what do you have to say now? you have a serious mistake in your judgment calculations.
i didn't- shut up.
enrico, you and i have business to discuss.
business? yes.
i think you'll find what we have to offer will make you very happy.
please.
watch them.
you're free to go, esperanza.
go! esperanza! are you okay? i'm fine, but how did you- we made a trade- you for mick jagger.
what? we didn't have much to bargain with.
so we gave him everything.
which everything? the key, the code and the thumbprint.
and rockefeller's gonna tip him off on when to strike.
thank you.
thank you, guys.
hey, no need to thank us.
it's what we do.
we're knights.
come on.
what about the "of prosperity" part? we'll figure it out.
it's knights of prosperity.
of all possible colors, why did you have to make the t-shirts bright orange? because it's cool.
knights of prosperity we the knights, baby.