The O.C. (2003) s01e07 Episode Script

- Previously on The O.
C.
: - Daddy! Her dad beat up my dad at my debutante ball.
You can't blame Holly for that.
- I know Jimmy.
- I've heard.
He still has your prom photo on our wall.
- What do you want from me? - I want a divorce.
I never should have broken up with you in the first place.
- I don't know what I should do.
- Let me know when you decide.
You chose Luke, huh? Chino didn't stand a chance.
Let's go.
You're too late.
- The plan is undeniable.
- I'm denying it.
We have my mom's Range Rover.
We have a perfect alibi, as I go to this comic-book convention every year.
We have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.
And you wanna throw all that away for Summer in a wet T-shirt doing body shots? I'm sorry.
I thought that was a rhetorical question.
Yes Ryan, yes.
On the last weekend before school, one goes to Tijuana.
It is tradition, and it is a rite of passage.
What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
What happens in Mexico? I don't know.
It stays there.
That's why we must go.
I don't know about lying to your parents.
I can respect that.
I will lie to them.
Why can't we just go to Comicon? Comicon is a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Catwoman.
I thought you went every year.
Listen.
Tijuana's a big town.
I'm sure you won't even see Marissa.
I don't care about seeing Marissa or not seeing Marissa.
Therefore, you should have no problem coming to Mexico, right? Well, won't she be hanging out with Summer? No, she'll probably be shacked up with Luke.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That was probably a bit painful.
Hey, fellas.
You all excited about Comicon? Seth's been going since he was 10.
It's the highlight of his year.
Thanks.
"Highlight" is a bit overstating it.
- Check you out.
Big pimping.
- I got a meeting with a private law firm.
- You suing one of their clients? - It's a job interview.
Which he'll never take.
They like to flatter him every once in a while.
- Yeah, I go for the free meal.
- But you'll still be a public defender, right? After 15 years? There's no way he's selling out.
Well, it'd have to be one hell of a free meal.
And that's what's they call a "callback" in comedy.
So how soon until you two are leaving on your trip? I don't know.
How soon? Tomorrow.
Don't you mean "ma Íana"? - Looks good.
- I don't wear hats.
Ryan, you mean "sombrero.
" Brush up on your Spanish.
There's over 500 useful phrases.
"May I please see a ladies' worsted nylon bathing suit?" Yeah.
Well, did you know that one? - What's this? - An itinerary for our trip.
Seth, it's 12 pages long.
We're going for two days.
If you're gonna get over Marissa, you need activities.
I don't need to get over Marissa.
I'm over Marissa.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Look at me.
Look, this is me here, okay? Amigo.
Now, I know you're hurting, and I think you need to unburden your soul.
- Any time.
I'm here to help.
- My soul is fine.
Marissa and me It just I don't know.
It never would have worked.
No kidding.
It is so much better this way.
He's all, like, brooding, wounded, "Somebody save me.
" - I thought you liked that.
- It is too hot to save anyone.
Speaking of hot, I can't believe you and Luke.
You guys did it.
Tell me everything.
I've been waiting for this forever.
- You have? - You've seen it before.
- Come on! - Touched it? Summer! It's a sacred act between two people.
It was a letdown, right? Kind of hurt? Totally awkward? I don't have anything to compare it to.
So do it again.
It is way better the second time.
I'm supposed to go to his place this afternoon.
Trust me, Coop.
Get back on that horse.
- You gotta giddyup! - My dad's home! I don't understand.
You promised me the apartment would be ready tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm moving out this weekend.
Where am I supposed to stay? Yeah, well, you don't have to apologize.
I just You know what? Thank you.
Forget it.
Yeah.
Bye.
- Dad? - Hey.
Hi, girls.
Hey.
So Summer and I are gonna go Oh, right.
You're going to Palm Springs, yeah.
We're not leaving until tomorrow.
For Tijuana? Oh, right, yeah.
Yeah, I meant Yeah.
Are you okay? Because, I mean, I was gonna go over to Luke's.
- But if you want, I could stay here.
- No, I'm fine, sweetie.
Go to Luke's.
Luke's great.
Isn't he, Summer? He's He's a good kid.
Sure.
Anyway, l I gotta You know Right.
I know.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Bye.
- See you.
- See you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Is now a bad time? I don't know why you didn't come to me in the first place.
I'll call my realtor, Gloria.
I'm sure she'll be able to help you find something.
Thanks.
Yeah, really, thank you.
So how'd the girls take the news? Well, Julie and I decided to table that conversation until Monday.
You haven't told them yet? Well, Julie's at her mom's with Kaitlin and Marissa's going to Mexico this weekend.
We just thought it'd be easier and cleaner if we did it that way.
They come back, I'm gone, and then we tell them.
I'm not so sure about this.
Well, neither am I but the thought of having them watch me move out It's hard enough as it is.
I never thought I'd be that guy that The divorced guy.
I can't wait to go to Tijuana.
It's gonna be so romantic.
It's kind of gross there.
So what? We won't leave the hotel room.
I don't know.
It'll be way better the second time.
No, I mean, I don't know about Mexico.
TJ.
I don't think I'm gonna go.
I feel like my dad's having a meltdown.
You're thinking about your dad right now? Come on, babe.
I don't know if I can leave him alone.
Marissa, he's, like, 40.
Look, we can go to Mexico whenever.
I feel like I should be with him right now.
Okay, fine.
I gotta go meet the guys anyway.
Is she looking at me? - Still not.
- You know what she's doing? And it's textbook.
She's playing me hot and cold, pretending our kiss didn't happen.
There were no witnesses.
I didn't see anything.
Then maybe I'll just have to make magic happen again, won't I? Hey.
How you been? I haven't seen you in a while.
Yeah, well, the last time I saw you, you kind of had your hands full.
Coop! Come on.
- Well, don't let me keep you.
- I won't.
- Okay.
Later.
- Fine.
- Hey, Coop.
- Hey, Holl.
You don't make those freshmen watch a real donkey show, do you? Sandy Cohen.
How'd you get past security? - How are you, Rachel? - Hi.
You look great.
Being a slave to the Man agrees with you.
Six seconds until the first insult.
You're getting soft.
Still surfing? Every morning.
Keeps my mind clear.
That and not working in a joint like this.
Yeah.
Decent hours, appropriate compensation.
I don't know how I ever left the DA's office.
It's because you kept losing to this roguish, brilliant - Conceited.
- That's right, it was me.
What do the good folks at Partridge, Savage and Kahn want with a lowly PD? I gotta tell you, you made some noise with that Jimmy Cooper case.
- I didn't do anything.
- You have your work cut out for you.
But heading the feds off at the pass, negotiating a restitution deal calling in a high-powered securities attorney in the span of a weekend.
- God, I am impressive.
- And conceited.
So you keep saying.
Truth be told, no one was gonna touch that guy.
The fact that you did made the partners think, made me think.
"Is Sandy Cohen really ready to come down off his high horse? Is he finally tired of being a martyr?" Jeez, I was just hoping for a free meal.
Sorry to disappoint you.
All you're getting is a really good sales pitch.
Sounds delicious.
What are you? Eavesdropping, Ryan.
I hear like a wolf.
- What do you mean, you're not going? - I just I don't know, Summ.
I can't.
But how am I supposed to get there? The guys are going tonight for that stupid freshman hazing.
- Holly's car is full.
- I'm sorry.
I'm totally stranded.
What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
Holly, I can't.
Me and Marissa, we're back together.
I give it a week.
You'll miss me.
Come on, babe.
Let's get you out of here before the road trip starts.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Hello, Summer.
Seth Cohen.
I believe you remember.
Nothing? I heard you needed a ride tomorrow.
- You have all our numbers.
- Dad, I know our phone number.
Did you bring enough water? Extra batteries? Air in the tires? Gas in the tank? It's amazing I turned out so normal.
Hey.
Let me get that.
Hey, Summer.
Sandy Cohen.
I'm Seth's dad.
I had no idea you were into comic books.
Comic books? - She goes for the anime.
- Anime.
I'm gonna go say bye to Coop.
Don't touch my stuff.
This is gonna be awesome.
She is hot stuff, son.
And now it's ruined.
- I told you, I can't go.
- I got us a ride.
Just grab some stuff.
Hey.
What are you guys still doing here? I thought I'd stay home this weekend.
What? Why? I thought you were looking forward to this trip.
I was.
But I thought maybe we could spend some time together.
Well, we can't, I'm sorry.
I thought you were going, so I made other plans.
I was.
I just I mean, are you sure? - Because I thought maybe we could - Look, Marissa, please.
Come on.
I can't take care of both of us.
Okay.
I'll go pack my stuff.
Coop? - So who's going with us? - You'll see.
Great news.
I got Coop to come along.
We're going to TJ! I can't believe you convinced me to do this.
- You could've brought somebody in.
- Where's the fun in that? It only took us a couple of hours to paint my dorm room, remember? Your dorm room was the size of a prison cell.
Well, we may be painting one of those as well.
Sorry.
Listen, thank you so much.
The thought of being home when Julie and the kids come back - You haven't told them yet.
- Well, not exactly.
I mean, I was gonna tell Marissa, but then it just seemed impossibly hard.
Because it is.
Jimmy, Marissa's not a little girl anymore.
And if she comes home and finds you gone, she'll never forgive you.
Call her.
She'll still love you.
I promise.
We should be there in three hours.
The GPS says the ETA's three and a half.
Well, that's because someone drives like an old woman.
I'm going 70 in a 65 zone.
Eighty is the new 70.
What? Who talks like that? Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh, wait, Cohen does.
They have God on their side.
I'm not gonna beat Jesus.
I'm gonna call Holly and see how far ahead she is.
- And she's a girl.
- That's insulting to your own gender.
- Not as insulting as it is to you.
- Point taken.
No, thanks.
I'll take it.
I'm so dehydrated.
What is up with the a.
c.
? My hair is frizzing out.
I look like Howard Stern.
- My Jewfro benefits from this climate.
- You're Jewish? Yes.
That's why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.
This is a nightmare.
I'm sweating to death, driving 10 miles an hour in, like, a rickshaw, listening to this music.
Hey, do not insult Death Cab.
It's, like, one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.
Reminds me of someone else who's doing a lot of complaining.
You.
I'm driving this vehicle, and I'll drive at the speed that I feel comfortable, okay? It's my music, it is my snacks Kudos and Goldfish? What are you, 8? - Say goodbye to Summer.
- What are you doing? Leaving you at the side of the road.
Don't touch the wheel! Stop! Stop it! - Guys, stop it! - Seth! It's not exactly the honeymoon suite.
Well, it's only for one night, until the axle's fixed.
- I've stayed in worse.
- That's nothing to brag about.
Sweet! Do we have to pay extra for the pubes? - This is so gross.
I cannot stay here.
- Unless you feel like hitchhiking again No, thank you.
I've spent enough time in a truck full of chickens.
Hey, we're lucky that guy stopped.
We'd be even luckier if Cole Trickle here hadn't driven us off the road.
- Who the hell is Cole Trickle? - Tom Cruise.
Days of Thunder.
Guys, can we try to be positive? Okay.
I am positive this is Summer's fault.
I'm positive that I'm leaving here with a rash.
Oh, so you plan on making some extra money tonight.
This bathroom is so - Hello.
- Hey.
Hey, what happened to you? You're finger-painting in the back yard? I was helping Jimmy paint his new living room.
- Julie kicked him out? - Is that okay that I'm helping him? Yeah, I guess, with everything he's been going through.
Honey! You shouldn't have! I didn't.
It washed up about an hour ago.
Who's Rachel? She works at the law firm I met with.
Well, the meeting must have gone well.
You never said.
You must have let them down easy.
In a private practice, I could do more pro bono work than I do now.
Sandy, you're not seriously considering taking this job, are you? The salary they offered me is outrageous.
You've never been swayed by a paycheck.
This family has all the money it needs.
Except it's your money.
- It's our money.
- Not really.
Unless you wanna buy the Lakers or a Caribbean island.
It's not about buying stuff, although Aruba would be nice.
It's about contributing.
And I have an opportunity here.
Yeah, to work for people that you hate.
You refer to those places as evil empires controlled by corporate interests, owned by the Man.
Well, I tend to be hyperbolic.
It goes with the territory.
The PD office is your life.
I don't want you to give that up so you can buy groceries the next week.
Don't belittle this.
I think balance is important.
- We don't have balance? - No, you have all the money.
And you have all the ideals.
- You like that I don't make a lot of money.
- What? It makes us different from all these other families.
All these other women married to their investment bankers and their CEOs.
As long as I haven't sold out, you haven't sold out.
- That's not true.
- Come on, face it.
The only thing that keeps you from feeling like Julie Cooper is me.
But, hey, it's just an offer.
I have to pick wisely.
Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks? I don't care.
Pick whatever.
- I don't care either.
- So I guess we'll just starve.
- You ever gonna stop being mad at me? - I'm not mad at you.
Right.
- Why would I be mad at you? - You walked in on me with another girl.
Actually, I think she was a woman.
But why would I care about that? - I don't know.
Shouldn't be a problem.
- There's no problem.
Except Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks.
I don't care, Ryan.
I don't care about Cheese Sticks and I don't care about Ding Dongs.
And I really don't care that I walked in on you with some girl.
Or woman.
Whatever.
I was only with her because you were clearly back with Luke.
I was not back with Luke.
You are now, right? - Right.
- Okay.
Great.
So we'll just get to Mexico, split up and never talk again.
Sounds like a plan.
By the way, you could have knocked first.
Did you ever wonder why I came to the pool house to find you? Every day.
Here's your chance.
Clear the air.
Tell me.
Cheese Sticks.
I hate Ding Dongs.
Hey.
Static.
That's awesome.
What are you doing? Almost watching TV.
This is either SpongeBob SquarePants or JAG.
Get off the bed.
The sooner I go to sleep the sooner it'll be morning and this nightmare will be over.
I'm not sleeping on that couch.
It's stained and smells foul.
You sleep there.
After you've made it sound so appealing? Good night.
- Come on, get off the bed! - Nope.
- Be, like, a gentleman.
- Chivalry's dead, sugar.
You make a move, I rip out your jugular.
Oh, hey, pillow talk.
Hello? Oh, hey, Dad.
Hey, you got a minute, kiddo? Yeah.
Is everything okay? Well, no.
Not exactly.
What is it? This isn 't a very easy thing to say.
When you get home, I'm not gonna be there.
Your mom and I are You're getting a divorce.
I just can't believe you're telling me this over the phone.
I was gonna tell you before you left, but then I knew you'd stay.
And I just couldn 't let you watch me pack up my life.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, kiddo.
I don 't wanna ruin your whole trip.
It's good that you went.
I can sleep on the floor.
No, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
Thanks.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to.
I know.
You wanna go home? I just I think I wanna stay here.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
So Tijuana.
- Yeah.
Should we have woke Ryan and Marissa? No.
They looked so cute together.
Vomit.
Hey.
That's a real sentimental streak you got there, Summer.
It's too early for your so-called comedy.
You enjoy my comedy.
You know what else I think you enjoy? Me.
That's because you're mentally unstable.
Be that as it may, the facts speak for themselves.
Might I remind you of something that I call "the time that you kissed me at my grandfather's party.
" - What are you talking about? - Okay.
I know that denial is a very powerful coping mechanism but it's time we paid lip service to our lip service.
Two words: No tongue.
- You agreed to take this trip with me.
- I needed a ride.
We shared the same bed.
I wasn't sleeping on that couch.
It smelled like eggs.
- You ate my toast, Summer.
- I like crusts, Seth.
Face it.
Our chemistry is undeniable.
- You know what else is undeniable? - What? The pain this fork is gonna cause when I jam it into your eye.
I suffer from rage blackouts.
I'm gonna get the check.
Where's Coop? - The shower.
- Hope she's wearing shower shoes.
Here's breakfast, and the chariot's repaired and out front.
Ready to go? - I'm not sure we're going.
- What? Marissa's dad called with some bad news.
What's going on? They're getting divorced.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
Whatever you wanna do, Coop.
But if I may, speaking as a child of divorce you do not wanna be home right now.
And this is our last chance for freedom.
We get back to Newport, and it's school and reality.
Let's go to TJ, have fun.
Life will suck soon enough.
She might actually be right.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
Rage blackouts, got it.
I'll be in the car.
Let's go to TJ.
I still don't understand why we needed to get two rooms.
I'll leave you my key just in case you get Ionely.
Or in case I wanna smother you with your pillow.
- Whatever turns you on.
- Everyone's at Boom-Boom.
I have to go to the pharmacy.
You can get anything without a prescription.
I need to make a pit stop for my stepmom.
She's taken all the painkillers available in Orange County.
I should probably pop in and pick up an antihistamine.
Allergies.
You don't have to come with us if you don't want.
I'm going to find Luke.
It's okay.
Really.
That's fine.
Hey, where are the partners? Oh, right, I forgot.
Vampires hate the sunlight.
- They didn't want to appear desperate.
- So they sent you.
- Desperation's your strong suit.
- And yours is I'm drawing a blank here.
They're pulling the offer first thing in the morning unless they hear from you.
Thank them for the surfboard, although it did freak my wife out.
You had her believing I was considering this job.
- Which you are.
- No.
As much as I'd like to think you're here for the sparkling banter and crab cakes I know you're interested.
It's not gonna happen.
I've been in the PD's office my whole life.
It's what I do.
And I'm giving you a platform to do it better.
The sand dabs are great here.
Don't you wanna see what would happen if you tested yourself? Not just against one more overworked, underpaid ADA.
I always loved beating you.
- You know why? - Why? Because I was excellent.
Which is why I left.
I wanted to do more.
And so do you.
The clock's ticking.
Sand dabs, huh? Yep.
Of course she would be.
But telling her You were totally right.
It'll take a while.
It's gonna take us all a while to get used to this.
My swinging new bachelor pad.
You know, this is the first time I've ever really been a bachelor.
I mean, I went from you to Julie, and the rest is Let me ask you something.
You ever have any doubts about you and Sandy? We have our issues.
You ever think what it would be like if you and I had ended up? Sometimes.
Finished.
I should go.
Yeah, I'm sorry, that was totally That was wrong of me.
My marriage is falling apart, but I shouldn't try to bring yours down.
- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
I'm sorry.
L - Come on, Luke.
Back that ass up.
- No, that's cool.
Marissa's not even coming.
Come on.
I love this song.
I love authentic Mexican culture.
- What are you doing? - I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
What, that you got caught? - Don't ever talk to me again.
- You are such a bitch.
- Please.
He hooks up with everyone.
- Shut up.
Freshman girls, girls from Mater Dei, girls from UCI.
Is that true? Marissa, everyone knows.
Everyone! Now you do too.
- You are so mean.
- Summer, I am honest.
Her parents are getting divorced, you stupid slut! Walk away, Holly.
She suffers from rage blackouts.
- Let her go.
- This isn't about you.
- It is now.
- Get out of my way.
You don't deserve her.
- I'll go check the hotel.
- I'll check the streets.
Call me if you find her.
Thank God, Coop.
I slept with him.
I know, sweetie.
- I gotta call Ryan and Seth.
- No.
I don't wanna see them.
Just I'm so embarrassed.
It's okay.
It's just We'll go home.
I can't go home.
My dad will be gone.
My mom's gonna be back.
I have I have no one.
Come on, Coop.
Let's get out of here.
I'll grab our stuff.
Hey, it's me.
Hey.
- I found her.
- You did? She's at the hotel.
- You guys need to get here fast.
- Okay.
Okay.
Hey, Coop.
You wanna get some dinner? What are you in the mood for? Coop? Coop.
Okay.
- Bad news.
She's gone.
- What? And so are my stepmom's painkillers.
- Should we split up? - No, let's stick together.
Come on.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How'd it go with the suits? You know, okay.
I can't believe summer's over.
I know.
Feels like it goes faster and faster every year.
So if I did take this job You've already taken it.
Haven't you? I can still get out of it if you want me to.
To a new season.
Coop! Coop! Hey, honey, come on.
Wake up.
Wake up.