The Orchestra (2022) s01e07 Episode Script
Mahler byen rød
1
Ow. I gotta
Move the baby seat.
Oh. Shit. I'm sorry.
- Cheap piece of shit.
- Crap! You broke it!
It's not a cheap piece of shit.
It was very expensive.
It's all about safety.
And I can safely say that it's broken.
What the hell am I gonna tell Hildigunn?
Oh, I don't know, Simon.
Tell her that you were fucking
another woman, and the baby seat broke.
Yeah.
What are we gonna do about Simon?
We both want him gone.
And by gone you mean completely gone.
- I don't want to kill him.
- No.
Me neither.
I don't want to cut off his dick
with hedge clippers.
A part of you does.
No.
I was thinking about getting him fired.
Then he'll be gone.
That's a better idea.
By the way. You said I wanted to
cut off his dick with hedge clippers.
Don't you mean nail clippers?
No. You'd probably need hedge clippers.
In Japan, they had communal showers.
It's like a raw pork tenderloin.
Oh, really?
THE ORCHESTRA
We still don't have a chief conductor
because you sent the other guy packing.
Yes. It was
an unfortunate situation that I
Gertrud,
I need to know if I'm gonna get fired.
Consider it an opportunity.
You now have
an opportunity to fix this shit.
With all due respect,
I think it was the right decision to
Anne Sophie Hammer wants the job.
It's a realistic solution,
but I want to aim a little higher.
I'd like our next chief conductor to be
Daniel Mablewood.
Mablewood.
That's ambitious.
Damn right.
He's in town
to receive the Sonning Award.
Let's put our necks on the line
and get a hold of him.
- Do you want to bypass his agent?
- Nothing ventured
Oh yeah.
- Mablewood is gay.
- Oh.
- I mean Yes.
- Do you know what that means?
Technically?
Jeppe, it means that you
have to charm the pants off him.
Alright?
If you want to keep your job.
This is your opportunity to right
the wrongs and save your career.
- Got it?
- Yeah.
- I've missed you.
- It's dinner time.
Alma's asked when dinner's ready.
We always have dinner late.
Stop it.
I don't want you. Alright?
Don't you want to have sex?
No. It's unhygienic,
and I don't want ass in the Bolognese.
So I'm gonna pass on the ass today.
Thank you.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
- Outstanding, Simon.
- You're outstanding.
If the rest of you would keep up,
we'd be getting somewhere.
We won't because Simon's
constantly playing ahead of the beat.
Please use the proper channels
and tell the first clarinet.
We won't because Simon's
constantly playing ahead of the beat.
- What an incompetent bitch.
- Who?
- Anne Sophie Hammer.
- Oh.
- Your troubles may be over soon.
- I wish.
I'm meeting with Daniel Mablewood today.
- What did you say?
- Well His name's Daniel Mablewood.
I know who he is.
The conductor of all conductors.
Why are you meeting with him?
We want him to be our new conductor.
- You're kidding me!
- No.
He's getting the Sonning Award.
He's a genius. His Mahler recordings
should be considered benchmarks.
They've been criticized by the musical
proletariat, but they don't know shit.
Everyone in the world is musically
illiterate. That's nothing new.
I'm telling you.
He's a brilliant conductor.
This is important.
Hammer will do anything
to become chief conductor.
She will be with this affirmative action
bullshit, but she can't.
If that happens,
this orchestra is finished.
- Understand?
- Yes.
That's the plan, Bo.
I'll get him on board.
Do everything you can.
Everything.
- Yes.
- I'll take care Simon, that bastard.
- Alright.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
Those Mahler recordings.
What makes them so great?
Mablewood knows that Mahler's
an ironist like Adorno says.
Bernstein called him cliché.
Mr. Mablewood.
I'm Gertrud Bindesbøll,
and this is my associate Jeppe Nygren.
We're the heads of
Copenhagen Symphonic Orchestra.
It's almost in the bag.
Get us a table.
Yes.
- Where do gay men eat?
- What kind of question is that?
Put on something nice.
I don't want you to look like a banker.
I don't miss your father very much,
but he gave a great massage.
- When he had time for us.
- Yeah.
You're not home much anymore.
I wait for you every night.
And every night,
the food gets cold while I'm waiting.
I was thinking
You used to have morphine pills.
The really good ones.
What do you need them for?
They're strong.
I remember.
I'm in a lot of pain.
In my fingers and especially in my jaw.
I think it's infected or something.
I have a concert tonight,
so I need them now.
Promise me you'll be careful.
They're very strong.
Yes. I'll be very careful.
You know what? I think
My fingers are hurting again.
I need to wash my hands.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you in a hurry?
- Yes.
I'm going out tonight.
Here's some chili con carne.
You just have to heat it up.
- Are you going out?
- Yes. I am.
Oh. It's
It's not in the calendar.
No, Regitze. You don't put everything
in the calendar either.
And you go out every night.
Then it's something you can count on.
I'm not gonna write: "Out, out, out."
You're never out. It'd be nice to know.
I'm going out. So you'll have to hang
out with your daughter. I'm very sorry.
You're so angry all the time.
I'm not angry.
I'm just telling you that I'm going out.
Hildigunn. Hi, honey.
What are you doing here?
That's nice.
Can I watch the concert?
Of course. I'll get you a ticket,
even if I have to pry it
from the hands of another guest.
I'll talk to Lars.
I'm
I'm not feeling well.
If you can speak, you can play,
my dear Simon.
Please take your seat.
You have such incredibly pretty eyes.
There are 1500 people in here.
Please, take your seat.
Yes.
What the hell are you wearing?
It's Gertrud.
What did he do?
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Okay.
I'll be there in half an hour.
Alright, Leif. Bye.
Simon made a huge scene.
He played "Yellow Submarine"
in the middle of Brahms's fourth.
This exceeds our entertainment budget.
- You got us the table.
- I didn't order six courses.
We'll split it fifty-fifty.
I forgot my card.
Take one for the team.
- I can't afford that.
- Land this deal, Jeppe.
Nothing ventured
Right, Jeppe?
Hildigunn, where are you?
There you are.
Hildigunn, I love you!
You're my darling,
and I'm your darling.
Simon.
I had to go
all the way to the Faroe Islands
to find a fox like you.
Simon!
Gitte, you're coming home with us.
Gitte's coming home with us!
It's your fantasy!
Come here, you.
Stop it!
- I'm staying here.
- No.
It's your fantasy.
Why did we quit smoking?
I'm staying here.
Hi.
Hi, Simon.
My name's Mette,
and I'm a business psychologist.
We're gonna talk about your addiction.
I don't have an addiction.
It can be hard to admit.
I don't have an addiction.
No. You know what, Simon?
Let's go have a chat. Alright?
- For the love of God!
- I landed Mablewood.
- Don't fuck with me.
- I'm not.
I landed Mablewood.
- You're kidding.
- No.
- I just got a small erection.
- Really?
So did I when I hung out with him.
- I didn't have to sleep with him.
- Sleep with him?
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Ow. I gotta
Move the baby seat.
Oh. Shit. I'm sorry.
- Cheap piece of shit.
- Crap! You broke it!
It's not a cheap piece of shit.
It was very expensive.
It's all about safety.
And I can safely say that it's broken.
What the hell am I gonna tell Hildigunn?
Oh, I don't know, Simon.
Tell her that you were fucking
another woman, and the baby seat broke.
Yeah.
What are we gonna do about Simon?
We both want him gone.
And by gone you mean completely gone.
- I don't want to kill him.
- No.
Me neither.
I don't want to cut off his dick
with hedge clippers.
A part of you does.
No.
I was thinking about getting him fired.
Then he'll be gone.
That's a better idea.
By the way. You said I wanted to
cut off his dick with hedge clippers.
Don't you mean nail clippers?
No. You'd probably need hedge clippers.
In Japan, they had communal showers.
It's like a raw pork tenderloin.
Oh, really?
THE ORCHESTRA
We still don't have a chief conductor
because you sent the other guy packing.
Yes. It was
an unfortunate situation that I
Gertrud,
I need to know if I'm gonna get fired.
Consider it an opportunity.
You now have
an opportunity to fix this shit.
With all due respect,
I think it was the right decision to
Anne Sophie Hammer wants the job.
It's a realistic solution,
but I want to aim a little higher.
I'd like our next chief conductor to be
Daniel Mablewood.
Mablewood.
That's ambitious.
Damn right.
He's in town
to receive the Sonning Award.
Let's put our necks on the line
and get a hold of him.
- Do you want to bypass his agent?
- Nothing ventured
Oh yeah.
- Mablewood is gay.
- Oh.
- I mean Yes.
- Do you know what that means?
Technically?
Jeppe, it means that you
have to charm the pants off him.
Alright?
If you want to keep your job.
This is your opportunity to right
the wrongs and save your career.
- Got it?
- Yeah.
- I've missed you.
- It's dinner time.
Alma's asked when dinner's ready.
We always have dinner late.
Stop it.
I don't want you. Alright?
Don't you want to have sex?
No. It's unhygienic,
and I don't want ass in the Bolognese.
So I'm gonna pass on the ass today.
Thank you.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
- Outstanding, Simon.
- You're outstanding.
If the rest of you would keep up,
we'd be getting somewhere.
We won't because Simon's
constantly playing ahead of the beat.
Please use the proper channels
and tell the first clarinet.
We won't because Simon's
constantly playing ahead of the beat.
- What an incompetent bitch.
- Who?
- Anne Sophie Hammer.
- Oh.
- Your troubles may be over soon.
- I wish.
I'm meeting with Daniel Mablewood today.
- What did you say?
- Well His name's Daniel Mablewood.
I know who he is.
The conductor of all conductors.
Why are you meeting with him?
We want him to be our new conductor.
- You're kidding me!
- No.
He's getting the Sonning Award.
He's a genius. His Mahler recordings
should be considered benchmarks.
They've been criticized by the musical
proletariat, but they don't know shit.
Everyone in the world is musically
illiterate. That's nothing new.
I'm telling you.
He's a brilliant conductor.
This is important.
Hammer will do anything
to become chief conductor.
She will be with this affirmative action
bullshit, but she can't.
If that happens,
this orchestra is finished.
- Understand?
- Yes.
That's the plan, Bo.
I'll get him on board.
Do everything you can.
Everything.
- Yes.
- I'll take care Simon, that bastard.
- Alright.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
Those Mahler recordings.
What makes them so great?
Mablewood knows that Mahler's
an ironist like Adorno says.
Bernstein called him cliché.
Mr. Mablewood.
I'm Gertrud Bindesbøll,
and this is my associate Jeppe Nygren.
We're the heads of
Copenhagen Symphonic Orchestra.
It's almost in the bag.
Get us a table.
Yes.
- Where do gay men eat?
- What kind of question is that?
Put on something nice.
I don't want you to look like a banker.
I don't miss your father very much,
but he gave a great massage.
- When he had time for us.
- Yeah.
You're not home much anymore.
I wait for you every night.
And every night,
the food gets cold while I'm waiting.
I was thinking
You used to have morphine pills.
The really good ones.
What do you need them for?
They're strong.
I remember.
I'm in a lot of pain.
In my fingers and especially in my jaw.
I think it's infected or something.
I have a concert tonight,
so I need them now.
Promise me you'll be careful.
They're very strong.
Yes. I'll be very careful.
You know what? I think
My fingers are hurting again.
I need to wash my hands.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you in a hurry?
- Yes.
I'm going out tonight.
Here's some chili con carne.
You just have to heat it up.
- Are you going out?
- Yes. I am.
Oh. It's
It's not in the calendar.
No, Regitze. You don't put everything
in the calendar either.
And you go out every night.
Then it's something you can count on.
I'm not gonna write: "Out, out, out."
You're never out. It'd be nice to know.
I'm going out. So you'll have to hang
out with your daughter. I'm very sorry.
You're so angry all the time.
I'm not angry.
I'm just telling you that I'm going out.
Hildigunn. Hi, honey.
What are you doing here?
That's nice.
Can I watch the concert?
Of course. I'll get you a ticket,
even if I have to pry it
from the hands of another guest.
I'll talk to Lars.
I'm
I'm not feeling well.
If you can speak, you can play,
my dear Simon.
Please take your seat.
You have such incredibly pretty eyes.
There are 1500 people in here.
Please, take your seat.
Yes.
What the hell are you wearing?
It's Gertrud.
What did he do?
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Okay.
I'll be there in half an hour.
Alright, Leif. Bye.
Simon made a huge scene.
He played "Yellow Submarine"
in the middle of Brahms's fourth.
This exceeds our entertainment budget.
- You got us the table.
- I didn't order six courses.
We'll split it fifty-fifty.
I forgot my card.
Take one for the team.
- I can't afford that.
- Land this deal, Jeppe.
Nothing ventured
Right, Jeppe?
Hildigunn, where are you?
There you are.
Hildigunn, I love you!
You're my darling,
and I'm your darling.
Simon.
I had to go
all the way to the Faroe Islands
to find a fox like you.
Simon!
Gitte, you're coming home with us.
Gitte's coming home with us!
It's your fantasy!
Come here, you.
Stop it!
- I'm staying here.
- No.
It's your fantasy.
Why did we quit smoking?
I'm staying here.
Hi.
Hi, Simon.
My name's Mette,
and I'm a business psychologist.
We're gonna talk about your addiction.
I don't have an addiction.
It can be hard to admit.
I don't have an addiction.
No. You know what, Simon?
Let's go have a chat. Alright?
- For the love of God!
- I landed Mablewood.
- Don't fuck with me.
- I'm not.
I landed Mablewood.
- You're kidding.
- No.
- I just got a small erection.
- Really?
So did I when I hung out with him.
- I didn't have to sleep with him.
- Sleep with him?
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