The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008) s01e07 Episode Script

Catalysts

1
PETER: The dictionary
defines defenestration
[WOMAN SCREAMING] as the act of throwing a
person or thing out a window.
[GRUNTS]
Really not my favorite word.
Okay, where's the dude
with the nasty 'tude?
Whoa.
[CACKLING]
Present and accounted for.
[ALL GASP]
[ALL CLAMORING]WOMAN: What is that thing?
Hey, did I mess up
your costume?
Leave off the threads,
Emerald Elf.
And that's an order.
Ah, but the Green Goblin
doesn't take orders
from insects.
The Green Goblin
swats them into oblivion.
See, that's a common
misconception.
[CACKLING]Spiders are actually
arachnids Uh-oh.
Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime
Spinning webs
Swingin' from
the highest ledge
He could leap
above our heads
Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized
Looking up
with no surprise
Arriving
in the speed of time
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
[CACKLING]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
May I see your invitation,
Spider-Man?
Otherwise, I'm afraid
I'll have to ask you
to leave.
Leave now?
When table seven needs
more hors d'oeuvres?
PETER:
How did a night that
started out so sweet
go south so fast?
And how'd I manage
to leave my tux
at tonight's other
black-tie affair?
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
Thanks for the ride,
Harry.
No prob. My chauffer is
at our beck and call.
Don't forget to vote
for king and queen
of the ball!
Who you voting for,
Glory?
Me and Liz, of course.
Who else is worthy?
[CHUCKLES]I think we know
the answer to that.
Don't we, Rand?
Far as I'm concerned,
Osborn can have the crown.
His limo,
his after party.
Dude rules.
We're going
to Le Hisayfitte,
the best restaurant
in town. My treat.
Osborn, you the man.
[CHUCKLES]
You know it.
Hi, Harry.
Did you just
get here?
Hey, let's get
a picture.
You know,
preserve the moment.
I guess that bowtie
stops the blood
from reaching his ears.
Or brain.
And the chocolate
soufflé is a must.
They top it
with powdered sugar
and gold dust.
I don't believe it.
It's true.
Real gold dust.
And
Guys?
JAMESON:
Miss Brant!
This fershlugginer
bowtie is defective.
I want a new one
around my neck
in four seconds.
Come on, Mr. J.
An investigation into
Spider-Man's true identity.
See the face
behind the mask.
Oh. And if the face
is Joe Schmoe?
Hold still, please.
All you'll do is
make the web-head
a regular guy.
And who'll pay
to see pictures
of a regular guy?
Depends on what that
regular guy does,
right, Pop?
John, my boy.
Oh. Now give
your old man a hug.
Hey, Mr. Robertson.
You keeping Pop
in line?
I do my best, son.
You know,
he's awful proud of you.
[LAUGHING]
Why shouldn't I be?
Betty Brant,
Ned Lee,
meet my son,
Air Force Colonel
John Jameson.
John's piloting his
first mission on the
space shuttle next week,
so I'm taking him out
for one final night
on the town.
Uh, planet. Get it?
Foswell, Benny,
come meet my son,
the astronaut.
Ned, that
Spider-Man exposé?
Run with it.
See where it leads.
Mary Jane Watson,
this is Professor Warren.
I'm his star pupil.
He said
he wasn't coming.
Guess he meant
he wasn't coming
with me.
FLASH: How the heck
did puny Parker land her?
Pete cleans up well.
You know, it's not
just the food.
The view from
the private room
Geeks like Parker
do not get girls
who look like her.
I mean, like us.
She must have
lost a bet.
The bet. That's it.
Mary Jane Watson,
I'd like you to meet
Flash, Liz, Rand,
Sally, Glory
and my best
bud, Harry.
They're popular.
Ah, the in-crowd.
Exactly.
So, Parker, you actually
got yourself a date.
I mean, sure, Mary here's
not the 20-year-old
you wanted to bring,
but at least
she's non-fictional.
So I guess
you win the bet.
[LAUGHS]
What did you bet?
Loser dresses
as a cheerleader
for Halloween.
Well, big boy, I hope
you've got the legs
for the skirt.
Come on, tiger.
Let's hit the dance floor.
I want to see
what you've got.
We're dancing.
Uh
Shall we?
Maybe when everyone has
a little less to prove,
you know?
Less to prove.
Right.
Want some punch?
Please.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
Look, Glory.
I know I was a jerk,
but I'm really sorry.
Just give me
one more chance,
please?
Oh, Kenny.
Hello?
Is someone there?
[EXCLAIMS]
Oh, look at yourself, Otto.
You're afraid
of your own shadow.
[CHUCKLES]
Next, you'll be seeing
gremlins in the machinery.
Or little green men.
[STAMMERING]
Oh, the glider.
No, no.
That's Mr. Osborn's
tech-flight glider.
[CACKLING]
[MAN GRUNTING]
Alls I'm saying is
I could have cracked
it open there.
Cops would have
cracked you open.
Cops or Spider-Man.
Look,
Hammerhead's waiting
for the Big Man's cut.
Forget the crowbar.
Blow it up.
Oh, blow yourself up.
[SCREAMS]
Did someone mention
explosives?
Get the freak!
[SCREAMS]
[GROANS]
I meant, get the freak
anything he wants.
What I want is your
undying loyalty.
Or the dying kind.
The Green Goblin
is nothing if not flexible.
[GRUNTS]
Appreciate the help,
but we work
for the Big Man.
We switch loyalties
and we might as well
tie on the toe tags
ourselves.
I'm good with knots, too.
As for the Big Man,
the party's over.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
If I might have
your attention.
As many of you know,
I am your host,
L. Thompson Lincoln.
Thank you all for coming
to support the Lincoln
Dynamic Youth Center.
Some shindig,
huh, Johnny boy?
It's great, Pop.
But to be honest,
I was looking forward
to it just being you,
me and a rare steak.
Then come on.
Lincoln's got enough
of the Bugle's money.
We can be at Luigi's
in 88 seconds.
Sorry, elevator's
out of order.
Stairs, too. 'Course,
you could try a window.
[CROWD CLAMORING]
[CACKLES]
Oops, too late.
[CACKLING]
Hello. Good evening.
Bon soir.
I am the Green Goblin,
and I am looking
for the Big Man.
Sir, I don't know
who you are, but
Of course you don't.
That's the point
of the mask, genius.
[CACKLING]
Oh, but I know
who you are,
crime king.
So step down,
or I start sharing secrets.
You're making
an enormous mistake.
Security, this man
is obviously troubled.
Take care of him.
[TSKING]
Still hiding behind
an army of thugs,
are we?
[CACKLING]
Oh, he swings
through the air
Dishing all kinds
of fear
This daring Goblin
on the big chandelier ♪
[GRUNTS]
Pop, move.
We have to get
these people
Johnny!
[GROANS]
Now, now. Stay put.
Or else.
There's no need
to threaten my guests.
There is if
I want witnesses,
Big Guy.
[GROANS]John?
I'm okay, Pop.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Robertson.
Jonah?
Jonah, slow down.
A green what?
Goblin.
Green Goblin.
No, no reporter.
I'll cover the story myself
and save a few bucks,
but get me Parker.
This is right up
his freak-show alley.
Oh, and maybe
call the police.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Killer look, girl.
Thanks. I put it
together myself.
The top's from
a thrift store
on 22nd.
You and I so need to hang.
So, what do you think
of Midtown High?
It doesn't look
much different
from my school.
Your basic brain pit.
Well, we also have
the top-ranked theater
magnet in the city.
Theater magnet?
Hmm.
I'm starting
to feel the attraction.
That was the Bugle.
There's this maniac
terrorizing my boss,
and he wants me
to go shoot pictures.
And I kind of have to,
or he could fire me.
Look, I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's okay.
But hustle back, tiger.
You owe me
one more dance.
Really?
You're not ticked?
That's so cool.
I won't be gone long,
Red, I promise.
[EXCLAIMS]
Ditched by the
king of the geeks.
That must sting.
[SIGHS]
Painfully.
But if I can't
dance with Pete,
I guess I'll dance with
It's Randy, right?
Very.
What do you hope
to accomplish here
tonight?
So, the whole "wanting to
destroy you and take over your
empire" thing wasn't clear?
Well, darn.
SPIDER-MAN:
Yoo-hoo. Excuse me.
[ALL GASP]Can I come in this way,
or do I have
to break my own window?
ALL: Spider-Man!
Your timing is impeccable.
So, your latest
super loser turned
on you, huh, Tombie?
I don't know
who he is yet,
but he's not
in my employ.
That's okay. I can always
pretend he's yours
while I trounce him.
I'll still feel
all warm inside.
Hello!
I'm in the room.
Really,
you're both too rude.
Oh, where are my manners?
Here you come
to terrorize the Tombster,
and I don't even
say thank you.
My only excuse is that
you're also holding
innocent people hostage.
It's confusing to
my poor spider-brain.
Yes. Quite the puzzler.
But the Green Goblin
has a solution.
You and I join forces.
Consider what
we could accomplish
by combining our powers.
We could rule New York!
We talking Manhattan
or all five Nah.
Sorry, I make it a rule not
to partner with anyone green.
Or, you know, psychotic.
Hmm. Oh, well.
Your loss.
Of life!
[PEOPLE GASP]
[GROANS]
Okay, where's the dude
with the nasty 'tude?
Whoa.
Present and
accounted for.
If I might have
your attention.
The votes are in
for king and queen
of the ball.
Your king is
Flash Thompson.
[ALL CHEERING]That's my man.
MAN 1: Yeah! All right!
MAN 2: Get up there!
MAN 3:
Yeah, all right.
All right.
And your queen is
"the redhead girl who came
with Peter Parker"?
Is that right?MAN: [WHOOPS] Yeah!
Okay, I know it's
totally petty,
but seeing Peter's date
crowned alongside Flash
makes me smile.
[ALL CLAMORING]
May I see your invitation,
Spider-Man?
Otherwise, I'm afraid
I'll have to ask you
to leave.
Leave now?
When table seven needs
more hors d'oeuvres?
Pop!
Oh, did you want
a ride?
Keep our guests
comfy, boys.
I'll be back in
a New York minute.
Seriously, Gobby,
do you have a license
for this thing?
Don't panic, Spidey.
Still one web-shooter left.
Okay, now you can panic.
Web-shooter's empty,
but I've learned never
to web-sling unprepared.
Yes.
Web head 1,
gravity 0.
[GRUNTS]
You know the old saying.
If you can't join 'em,
beat 'em.
Took the words
right out of my mouth.
Is that a felony?
I certainly hope so.
This little goblin
wouldn't be caught dead
committing a misdemeanor.
[BEEPING]Ooh, nice banter.
Aim still needs work.
Well, practice
makes perfect.
Keep telling
yourself that.
[BEEPING]
That's for making me
protect Tombstone.
Okay, wow. Just wow.
[CACKLING]
Yee-haw!
[GREEN GOBLIN CACKLES]
Now what's so funny?
Just the special
fire and brimstone
pumpkin I left behind
as a present
for our Mr. Lincoln.
Any minute now,
the crème de la crme
of New York City
is going
to paint the town red.
Well, the ballroom,
anyway.
[CACKLES]
THUG: What are we
supposed to do?
Keep everyone here
until the Goblin
comes back.
Or maybe evacuate
before the Goblin's
bomb goes off.
Clear the room!
[ALL CLAMORING]
What are you doing?
You have to get out.
Bad guys included.
We work
for the Goblin.
Every single blasted
fragment of you?
You're bluffing.
Is that a risk
you're prepared
to take?
Especially when
you've already taken
so many.
Everybody down the stairs.
If the bomb goes off,
the elevators won't be safe.
Stay calm.
Don't push.
Go, Pop,
I'm right behind you.
Okay, if I were
an evil pumpkin,
where would I hide?
I'm surprised
you're sticking around.
My party, my mess.
[GREEN GOBLIN CACKLING]
This daring Goblin
on the big ♪
Chandelier.
John, don't.
We can still get that steak.
[SIGHS]
Spider-Man,
chandelier!
Thanks. Now go!
Ugh, we're going
back down?
Oh, now you're
just torturing me.
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING FASTER]
[SIGHS]
You know,
applause from you
makes me want to shower.
Perhaps.
But someone should
point out, I offered you
a handsome salary
to do just the sort of
thing you did tonight.
And instead, you've done
the Big Man's business
for free.
That, my heroic friend,
is what grownups
call "irony."
[POLICE SIREN SOUNDS]
Robbie,
I got your headline.
Colonel John Jameson
saves New York's
Dad, there will be
an investigation.
They could scrub me
from the mission.
[GROANS]
Robbie,
scratch that headline.
[MUMBLES]
Give the credit
to Spider-Man.
To Spider-Man,
confound it!
But fire Parker.
The kid never showed up.
What? What do you mean
he just e-mailed photos?
[SIGHS]
SALLY: See, Glory?
You're so selfish.
Everyone knows you
don't dump the guy
with the limo,
nothing personal,
Kenny,
until the day
after the dance!
FLASH: Where is Osborn,
anyway?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
Nice, Pete.
You blew it.
Again.
MARY JANE:
I wouldn't say that.
I saved
the last dance
for you, tiger.
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