The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (1989) s01e07 Episode Script

Hey Paisanos, it's the
Super Mario Bros Super Show!
We're the Mario Bros
and plumbing's our game. ♪
We're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪
If your sink is in trouble,
you can call us on the double ♪
We're faster than the
others You'll be hooked on the ♪
brothers
Yo, you're in for a treat So
hang onto your seat Get ready ♪
for adventure and remarkable
feats You'll meet Koopa, ♪
the Troopas, the Princess and
the others Hanging with the ♪
plumbers, You'll be hooked
on the brothers ♪
To the bridge
I said, a hook, hook,
hooked on the brothers. ♪
On the brothers, brothers. ♪
Okay it's going to go
right here. Hold this.
That's it, tighten it up.
It's in, yes.
Oh no.
Okay, give me the wrench.
[beeping]
Mario!
Mario!
Mario, talk to me.
Mario, talk to me.
Talk to me.
Ahh!
Okay, you're
going to be--
Ahh!
Sit down, brother.
You're going to be alright.
Ahh!
Okay, lie down.
Don't go anywhere.
Ahh!
There it is,
hairy, happy, hairy,
head.
Take it easy, I've
got help on the way.
Take it easy, I've
got help on the way.
Ahh!
Hello, hello, is this
Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake,
the noted head doctor?
It is?
Oh, good, thanks.
Look, my brother just
hit himself on the head.
Could you come right over?
You can?
Thanks a lot, doc.
[doorbell]
Great service!
Achtung!
I am Sigmund Fruitcake,
the noted head doctor.
I got here as
quick as I could.
Oh boy, I love
making head calls.
Oh, oh, this is a
very unusual head.
Aside from the obvious
ugliness and the hairiness of
this head, I do
not see a problem.
Thank you very much,
doctor, but you see,
this ugly, hairy head
is not the problem.
It's my brother.
He got hit in the head
and he thinks he's a bird.
A bird?
Ah, pish posh!
It's no problem.
Many people,
maybe two or three,
they dream and the fantasise
about flying around like a
bird but it is a
perfectly normal thing to do.
Yes, yes.
Really.
Oh God, thanks doctor.
What a relief.
Ah, don't mention it.
Squawk!
Squawk!
[chicken noises]
Dr. Fruitcake:
[speaks German]
This man, he
really has a problem.
But you said
everything was okay!
Gimme yo, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game. ♪
Found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain. ♪
Lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪
Coming atcha
with the plumbers, ♪
you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪
Now, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving. ♪
They kidnapped the princess.
Mushroom Land needs saving.
Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers. ♪
They can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪
Unh! ♪
Plumber's log number 603.
On our way through
the Linguini Empire,
the emperor invited us to
attend a benefit spaghetti
dinner to raise money
for orphaned mushrooms.
Hey Luigi, can't you get
any more speed out of this old
tub?
Keep your moustache on, Mario.
We'll be on time
for the dinner.
The emperor must
be a wonderful man.
I can't wait to meet him.
I can't wait to meet
all of that spaghetti.
[horse hooves]
Guess who's coming
to dinner, Tryclydius?
The Marios.
Mash them, stomp
them, crush them.
Don't let them see
you, snake breath.
I want them to
walk into my trap.
Mash them, stomp
them, crush them.
Why do I have to give you an
order three times before it
sinks in?
I don't know, ask him.
I don't know, ask him.
[laugh]
I can't let you ninnies ruin
my plan to get the Marios out
of the way.
Mash them, stomp
them, crush them.
Get back here,
you stupid serpent.
[trumpet]
See?
We're here ahead of time.
We've got a half
an hour until chow.
[sniff, sniff]
Half an hour?
I could starve by then?
[crash]
Huh?
Earthquake!
Run for your lives!
[crash]
[gasps]
You must be the
guests of honour.
Excuse my brother.
He gets nervous around guys
six times bigger than him.
Are you the emperor?
No, I'm Brutius
Maximus Grouchimus,
guardian of the coliseum.
Follow me.
I'll bet no one tries to
sneak in without a ticket.
There may not be
anything to sneak into.
The orphans' benefit
dinner may be cancelled.
No spaghetti?
No spaghetti!
We've got a plumbing problem
in the catacombs under the
coliseum, unless it's fixed.
We can fix anything if
there's spaghetti involved.
Great.
[snap]
Guard, take Princess
Toadstool and this creature--
Hey, watch that
creature stuff!
[growl]
[smack]
Ah!
On second thought, creature
does have a nice ring to it.
Take them on a
tour of the coliseum.
Ah, we're in luck.
Here's the emperor now.
[trumpet]
Wonderful.
I want to thank him for
being so kind to the mushroom
orphans.
[squeak]
[Princess Toadstool:]
Nice to meet you,
your majesty.
Hmm, I've been so
looking forward to your visit.
[gasp]
King Koopa!
No, Emperor Augustus
Septemberus Octoberus Koopa to
you, my little prisoner.
I'm gonna see how my good
buddies Mario and Luigi are
doing.
[skid]
You aren't going
nowhere, fungus.
That's what I said.
I aren't going nowhere.
Fungus.
Right, fungus.
He, he, he, sorry I
forgot that part.
A spaghetti dinner to
help orphaned mushrooms,
indeed.
Wait until Mario and
Luigi find out about this!
They're gonna find
out about it right now,
bright eyes.
In the meantime, let me make
you both comfortable.
[gasp]
This is some
place, huh Luigi?
This is some
place, huh Luigi?
It's some place but I
don't know what place.
This is the place
where we capture you.
Oh!
See Luigi?
This is the place
where they--
Capture us?
[evil laugh]
Hey, shut up your
face one second.
Whoa!
[chomp]
He's too busy, eating Mario.
He's your kind of horse.
[chuckle]
Hmm
Giddy up,
chow hound!
Whoa!
[horse hooves]
[thud]
[evil laugh]
[rolling]
Mario, we've got trouble.
[rumbling]
[swing]
[thuds]
That was some trick, Mario.
How about doing another trick
and getting me some more oats?
Sorry, but I'm out of oats.
[skid]
[soar]
[thud]
No oats?
No work.
Sorry, fat boy.
[footsteps]
Run for it, Luigi.
They're gonna catch us, Mario.
Just what the doctor ordered!
A secret escape door!
[thud]
[cheering]
[trumpet]
[Koopa:] There's no escaping
the great Augustus Septemberus
Octoberus Koopa.
[trumpets]
[trumpets]
Welcome to my
spaghetti dinner,
faucet freaks.
It don't look good
for the good guys.
And now I'd like to introduce
you clog heads to my gladiator.
Fight him and win and
you go free. [evil laugh]
I think you are
the most evil,
despicable reptilian
individual I've ever known.
Why, thank you, princess.
Bring on my champion.
[cheers]
What's it going to
do with that net,
Mario?
He's not going
fishing, that's for sure,
Luigi.
You go that-a-away,
I'll go this-a-way.
[crash]
Whoa!
Help!
[beep]
Now, Luigi!
Now, Luigi!
Get them!
Get them?
Get them!
[struggle]
[whirling]
Whoa!
[clank, crash]
Hey, that's my brother
Mario, you three-faced double
crosser.
[ping]
[beeping]
[spark]
Enjoying the show, Princess?
[evil laugh]
It's awful, just awful.
Aww, it's be over soon.
Tryclydius is gonna make
minced Mario meat out of those
two wrench heads.
[groan]
I've gotta get
Luigi out of that net.
[swipe]
[clash]
[growl]
Ahh!
I gotta tell you, Luigi, I'm
working up one big appetite.
So is he.
We can't keep this
up forever, Mario.
There are too many of them.
I mean, him.
Wait a macaroni minute.
I've got an idea.
Dance, Luigi.
Have you lost your noodle?
Dance!
DANCE!
Huh?
I'll take that one.
No, that one.
I've got them.
No, the other one.
Hey!
What?
Your champion
looks dizzy, Koopa.
Not for long, Princess.
Three heads are
better than two.
[struggle]
[crash]
[cheers]
We did it, Luigi!
It can't be!
They defeated my champion.
And now you've
got to let them go.
That's what you think.
Bruitus, release the lions.
But you promised!
One of the nice things about
being evil is
you get to lie
a lot.
[growling]
[cheers]
We've got no chance
against these lions,
We've got no chance
against these lions,
Mario.
[growling]
Wait a sec.
Okay, you guys are supposed
to be king of the beasts,
right?
You got it, you chubby
little chunk of lunch meat.
If you're really kings,
you'd be having an emperor for
dinner instead of
two measly plumbers.
He's got a point, Harry.
Come on, I'll help you sink
your teeth into some delicious
Koopa meat.
Come now, be a
good girl, Princess.
Duck, Princess!
Huh?
[scrambling]
[boing]
Ceseranimo!
Wow!
[crash]
[crumbling]
Yeow!
[rumbling]
[crash]
Now this is
what I call a meal.
Now this is
what I call a meal.
[growl]
Yeow!
[scrambling]
You Marios haven't seen
the last of King Koopa.
Hey Koopa, slow down.
We're hungry!
Take it easy, folks.
Don't crowd.
Plenty of
spaghetti for everyone.
One gold coin admission.
That's right, help
the mushroom orphans.
[boiling]
Koopa should have stuck with
the spaghetti dinner idea in
the first place.
Yummy!
[chewing]
And we've made more than
enough money to build the
orphanage.
Look at these guys eat, Mario.
Maybe we should stay here and
open a spaghetti restaurant.
[slurp]
Hey, Luigi, you
want to get to work?
Break time's over.
I'm so starved I
could eat a horse.
Or a plumber.
[gulp]
One extra big plate of
spaghetti coming right up.
[laughter]
[phone ringing]
Now what's the
problem, Luigi?
You get me up in the
middle of the night.
You get me up in the
middle of the night.
You dial 976
dial-a-shrink or something?
No, no, no, no, Dr. Fruitcake,
you must come back and see
Mario.
But Luigi, my chicken therapy,
it was a stunning success.
Your brother is no longer
under the illusion that he is
a chicken.
I know, but
that's the problem.
What?
What?
I don't understand.
No doc, now my poor brother
Mario thinks he's a monkey.
Could you hold
on a minute, doc?
Mario, Mario, Mario!
Mario, would you
get down from there!
So, what is it that
you want me to do,
Luigi?
You want that I should revert
Mario just back to plain,
vanilla Mario?
No, no, not exactly, doc.
I'd sort of like him
back to being a chicken.
Why?
Well to be honest with
you, we could use the eggs.
[whack]
Thanks I needed that.
Bonzo and I will
be right back.
Here, have a banana and watch
some scenes from the next
Legend of Zelda.
This is the
Triforce of Wisdom,
Link.
The evil wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.
[evil laugh]
Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land
forever.
You must help me, Link.
Hey, for you Zelda, anything.
I could have sworn
I heard a scream.
Huh?
[hum]
Ahhh!
Sprite!
My gosh!
My room!
My life!
Do something.
[blast]
[splash]
[beep]
[gasp]
Ahh!
Ugh, argh!
Urgh, ah!
[soaring]
And now to mop up.
[whirl]
You silly chimp chicken!
[monkey noises]
You stop with the
monkey business.
[laughs]
Oh, that was just some
psychiatric Looney Tunes
banter.
I find that it relaxes the
patients and personally,
I like that joke very much.
[laughs]
Excuse me doc, but I've got a
Rhode Island Red for a brother
and you're making
with the jokes.
[monkey noises]
You're absolutely right.
But seriously folks, it is a
pleasure to be back here in
Brooklyn where the
surf meats the plumbing.
[laughs]
Oh, this is a
very tough room.
Oh, this is a
very tough room.
[monkey noises]
Alright Mario, I'll
tell you what we will do.
We will use thought
transfer therapy.
I want we will take the
thoughts that are in your mind
and we will send
them, ah, who cares?
Wherever they go,
we will send them.
Alright, I want that you
should repeat after me.
I am not a chicken.
[squawk]
Nien, nien, I
am not a chicken.
Say it.
I am not a chicken.
Now, I am not a monkey.
[monkey noises]
I am not a monkey!
I am not a monkey.
[Dr. Fruitcake:] I
think that you are cured.
Oh, thanks doc!
Well no more
problems around here.
Almost [squawk]
Well, I tell you
what you should do.
Take $10 off of my bill.
Until next time, everybody.
Do the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side. ♪
Come on, it's time to go.
Do the Mario.
Take one step and then
again, let's do the Mario. ♪
All together now,
you got it. ♪
It's the Mario.
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side. ♪
Come on, it's time to go.
Do the Mario.
Take one step and then
again, let's do the Mario. ♪