The Tick (2016) s01e07 Episode Script

1 TICK: At one time or another, every Tom, Dick and LeShonda suffers the loss of a loved one.
I, The Tick, am no exception.
TICK [IN DISTANCE.]
: Arthur! A loss that can throw even a super-together hero like myself into a lap pool of despair.
[IN DISTANCE.]
: Arthur! Cause him to lose focus, take him off-mission and cause him to lose focus.
Arthur! Which naturally makes finding your lost loved one all the more important.
Arthur! For the last time, he's not here.
Now go away! You're scaring my customers.
Where are you, compadre? Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
The Terror.
I'm a prisoner of The Terror.
That's f-fine, because Tick is gonna come save me, before I get tortured Or maybe after I get tortured.
I can't really afford to be picky in that situation.
KARAMAZOV: You're in one of the high turnover cells.
- Hello? - Perhaps you're just food for one of his animals.
Frankly, I'd rather be food.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hello? Hello? Hey, hey, can you hear me? I'm not talking to myself.
Like some people.
Who are you? A prisoner, like yourself.
What's your name? - Arthur.
- Nice to meet you, Arthur.
My name is Dr.
Mischa Karamazov.
What? Yeah, we had some good times.
In the beginning, you think it's always gonna be like this, then poof.
Blown away, like pussy willow whiskers on the wind.
Wherever you are, little buddy, I hope you're happy.
Are you happy, Arthur? You can tell me.
You can whisper it if you like.
You're talking to a glove.
I don't know what is happening.
I can barely breathe, I can't move my head, I feel like I I've fallen off a cliff inside my own body.
- What is this? - Your friend's absence.
It's breaking your heart.
- Well, I hate it.
- I know.
If Arthur was here, he'd put a stop to this.
Tick man.
You're not doing yourself or me any good here.
When was the last time you checked for him at his apartment? Of course.
The one place I hadn't thought to check.
When Arthur's not around, I can be shockingly helpless.
I had no idea.
Arthur? Arthur, are you here? [RADIO STATIC CRACKLES.]
[DISPATCHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY.]
What are you doing up there? Nothing.
What do you mean, "nothing"? Just stop looking at me.
TICK: Arthur! [CRASHING, CLATTERING.]
- Where's Arthur? - I was just about to ask you the same question.
Where's Arthur? Fucked, that's where he is.
I was on a call with him last night and the line went dead.
Sounded like someone grabbed him off the street.
Arthur? Grabbed? Off? Got to be Ramses and his goons.
Except Ramses is dead.
Where'd you get that from? I know a place where the Pyramid gang shows up.
I-I go there and I listen to their conversations and their phone calls; it's why I came.
That's extremely dangerous.
Yeah, well, so are you.
The last time I saw you, you were dragging Ramses off to get information.
Did you kill him? Did you make my brother a party to murder? Whoa, there, little Dot.
There was no murder party.
That viper was still alive when he slithered through our fingers.
Okay.
Say I believe that.
And you.
If it wasn't Ramses, then who took Arthur? Isn't it obvious? I'm gonna say some kind of cult? - [GROANS.]
- Okay, we have to do something.
We have to call the police, we have to call AEGIS, and then Ramses was our proof about The Terror.
Now he's gone.
No one's gonna believe you.
It's up to you and me.
- And me.
- We don't have time for amateur hour.
If your brother's still alive, Tick and I are the only possible shot at rescue.
Or a glorious, revenge-soaked suicide.
I lean toward the former.
We'll regroup with Dangerboat, go with the same plan we already had in place You're not doing any plan without me.
- Okay.
- Don't give me that.
He's my brother, and What? Just remembered it's a three-person plan.
- You're in.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm in.
I'm in.
Neat.
Wait, you can't be Dr.
Karamazov.
I mean, it said on the news that Mischa Karamazov died in an Urmanian lab explosion.
KARAMAZOV: I'm not exploded Do I sound exploded? I was stolen, along with my work.
Project Achilles? Where did you hear that name? Heard it from you, actually.
Saw your video on the flying suit.
You wore the suit? It's imprinted on you? Mm, so I'm told.
Project Achilles was a secret Urmanian weapons program aimed at Superian.
- Wasn't it? - Yes.
Do you know Urmanians? No.
Very paranoid people.
It's very unfortunate that you put on that suit.
Unfortunate? What-what do you mean? Why unfortunate? Hey.
What are you guys doing? Stop it! Let me go! [DRUMS PLAYING UPBEAT RHYTHM.]
This is one of your nightmares.
That's it, that's all this is.
This is one of your nightmares.
PHIL: Faster! Faster! You're dragging! Dragging! Is that as fast as you can play, you fossilized fuckface?! Don't look at me! [GRUNTING.]
PHIL: I-I'm sorry.
Was that too much? I can pull it back.
You're going too easy on me.
Alexa, play me some Richcraft.
ALEXA: Excerpts from Richcraft, released in 1959 by Mercury Records.
[LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING.]
Hear that, putz? - Mm-hmm.
- That's what I want to sound like.
You got two more lessons to get me there.
Throw Phil back in his cage.
And put him on half rations.
Maybe that'll inspire you to be more demanding next time.
Ah.
Morning, sun - Alexa, shut up! - [MUSIC STOPS PLAYING.]
Morning, sunshine.
You passed out on me last night.
It's okay, you don't have to talk.
I just hate killing a puppy when it's asleep.
Takes all the shriek out of it.
So, you put on this suit that you stole from me, and somehow you think, "I'm a big brave superhero," huh? Uh, oh, no, no, I-I never thought that I was Well, let's see how brave you are when I try out my first blood eagle on you.
Ever hear of that? [QUIETLY.]
: No.
It's a Viking thing.
Saw it on the History channel.
Gonna slice open your sternum, crack open your ribs, and I'm gonna pull your lungs out! How's that grab you? What is that? That thing you're doing with your eye.
Wait.
[LAUGHS.]
Are you one of mine? [GASPS.]
Ice cream! The kid in the photo.
That was you.
Didn't I kill your dog or something? You killed my father.
Yeah, right, dad.
I knew it was something.
MISS LINT: Loved my new grounding bracelets, Terror.
Janet, get over here.
[TERROR LAUGHS.]
Remember the kid from Time magazine? The one I messed with after we finished off the Flag fuck-ups.
Arthur Everest.
Mm, yeah, sounds right.
Everest.
Guess who we got here.
In the flesh.
Eh, for the time being.
So you're gonna kill him? You make that sound like a bad thing.
I'm done with the little pecker for now.
Toss him back in the hole.
- Terror? - Huh? I have friends who are superheroes, real superheroes.
And they're coming for me.
And when they get here, oh, you're going down, sucker! Hmm.
- Goddamn it.
- Yeah, uh, don't do that.
Get Foxy Brown out of here.
What? Let go of me.
Let go.
- What are you gonna do with him? - Let go of me! The universe sings to me, Janet.
And it just gave me the melody I've been looking for.
Dangerboat, almost in position to commence scanning.
Do you copy? DANGERBOAT: We're supposed to be undercover.
Don't use my name on an open channel.
I am not calling you Steve.
Fine.
Will prime and ready cargo cannon once entry point is located.
Steve out.
Are we ready? Is it time? - Is it go-time, Steve? - Not yet.
- Remember the plan.
- Oh First scan, then aerial assault.
Relax.
I am a creature of action.
I need an act to act upon when action-packed rescue drama is afoot.
I must have an action! - Sit down.
- [SIGHS.]
All right.
[SIGHS.]
: Oh.
Well, that took the edge off.
For the moment.
Stop looking at me.
You ever think about maybe lightening up a little bit? I don't know, smiling, maybe? I lighten up, I smile, I'm as good as dead.
- I live on the edge.
- Well, there's got to be a happy medium though, right? Happy mediums get people killed.
We need to stay sharp, so stop this.
Stop what? Creating idle banter to distract yourself from the cold, hard reality that your brother's in mortal danger, if not already dead.
He's probably not dead.
I'm not good at comforting people.
No, that was great.
Thanks.
Hey, Dr.
Karamazov, I'm back.
You there? You napping or something? - Who are you talking to? - Uh, no one.
It's a dog.
[STAMMERS.]
Uh, talking to, uh, Queenie, my childhood dog.
I'm off my meds.
I see things that aren't there, dogs, demons I talk to them sometimes.
- I'm an unreliable narrator.
- Spare me.
Geez.
No wonder there were so many shrinks at your mom and dad's house.
He's not my dad.
Hey.
Hey, wait a second.
You played me.
Acting like you had no idea The Terror was still alive, when all along you were working for him.
I didn't know anything until yesterday.
Not that I owe you an explanation or anything else.
You owe my mom a vacuum cleaner.
Can you just shut up for one second? I'm trying to tell you something.
What? What, that I'm an idiot? I'm a moron who's in way over his head? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you're in this situation.
Yeah, well, if you were really sorry, you wouldn't have pointed The Terror right in my direction.
I didn't have to.
He knew exactly where to find you and the suit.
You made yourself quite visible with that little bus stunt.
I tried to tell The Terror that you're a little nothing.
A meaningless spec of dust, not worth his time.
Okay, well, I appreciate that.
But he's just so looking forward to eviscerating you.
If you really feel so bad about that, you would help me escape from here.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
There we go with the sorry again.
Is that all you can say? I'm sorry.
I can't tell you [WHISPERING.]
: that you should take the staircase right outside this door.
Turn right at the top, until it leads to a series of tunnels marked by red lights.
And I especially can't tell you that if you turn left at the T-junction, it will lead you outside.
[WHISPERING.]
: Well, it doesn't really matter if you can't tell me any of that, if there's no way for me to get out of this cell in the first place.
[KEY CLINKS ON FLOOR.]
Are you genuinely trying to help me? And if so, why are you genuinely trying to help me? If you only knew of the torture he intends to inflict, why I'm helping you is so the last question you'd be asking.
[SCANNER BEEPING.]
Hey.
What? Are you getting a reading? No, I was just wondering why you're really doing this.
You're not the sentimental type.
If you had to choose between saving my brother and killing The Terror, what would it be? The Terror took everything from me.
Including a man as important to me as your father was to you.
I know what family means.
I'd choose to save your brother.
Then kill The Terror.
I said one choice.
That's a cheat.
I cheat death.
Wha no.
That doesn't even track with my question.
I don't follow tracks.
Tracks follow me.
I don't even know what you're doing now; it's like a non sequitur poetry jam.
[SCANNER BEEPING.]
Hey, I got something.
I think.
What is it? An unsecured tunnel.
DANGERBOAT: I have a very clear sense of self.
I'm aware I'm a boat, but I identify as a male boat.
- Like a mailbox? - No.
A boat that is male.
Specifically, one who's capable of attraction for another male.
Boat? I don't distinguish, but can a boat be homosexual if the prefix is derived from the Greek word for "same"? When, clearly, we're not.
- Not what? - The same.
- Who? - Arthur and I.
Uh What are we talking about again? - OVERKILL: DB, do you copy? - It's Steve.
Go ahead.
We've got an entry point.
Lock in coordinates I'm sending to you now.
Coordinates locked in.
Tick, grab my gear and head to the cargo cannon.
Those are some action directives.
Converting shower to cargo cannon now.
Great granny's corset, I'm in a tight spot.
DANGERBOAT: Countdown.
Three.
- Hold on, chum.
- Two.
- The big blue yonder's coming for you.
- One.
Pensacola! [RAPID DRUMMING IN DISTANCE.]
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
Karamazov.
[GROANS.]
Yeah.
God.
[DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
How'd it go? Out of his cell, following instructions.
And the suit? - Just put it on.
- Perfect.
So, are you gonna tell me why you wanted him to escape? Inspiration.
This is a part of the job that's most like music.
And the rhythm, the rhythm is coming to me now.
[RIDE CYMBAL PLAYING.]
Ah.
The instruments are all taking their places.
Karamazov.
The V-L-M.
V-L-M? Made him, too.
Huge part of the plan.
And now, the kid with the flying suit.
They're all just waiting for me to conduct.
It's a simple tempo that starts allargando, very slowly.
Then, adagio.
Going faster to accelerando! [ALARM BLARING.]
Airborne incoming, traveling at high velocity.
- [DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
- [GUARD GRUNTS.]
- Take cover.
- [DRUMMING CONTINUES.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [GUARD GROANS.]
- Huh.
Dr.
Karamazov, are you okay? You're wearing my aerial defense suit.
ARTHUR: Uh-huh.
And-and you're, uh you're are, uh Dr.
Karamazov, yes.
What did they do to you? This? I did this.
Shrink ray accident years ago.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've adapted to it.
Hold this, will you? God, I'm so sorry.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I mean, um, good for you.
What are you doing in my suit? I'm gonna get us out of here.
I know the way.
Then what are we waiting for? No, I need some answers first.
The Terror wanted your help to kill Superian, right? The most powerful superhero on Earth.
So, how is that even possible? Years ago, I stumbled upon a strange, rare element near the Tunguska River in Russia.
It was only by accident that I discovered it contained radioactive properties injurious to Superian.
W-What's the element? I call it "Big Bismuth.
" I-I'm sorry, what? - [ALARM BLARING.]
- Listen.
We have no time.
Get me out of here and I'll explain everything.
Okay, follow me and stay close.
What? You need to carry me.
- [UNDER BREATH.]
: Oh, no.
- I can't move quickly, you see.
I won't be able to keep up with you.
The stairs, I can't climb them.
Hmm? Don't jostle me.
I'm prone to motion sickness.
Sorry.
I'm in! [GROANS.]
[SHUDDERS.]
Oh, the desecration.
I am so sorry, "Rebecca S.
Baumer, beloved wife and mo.
" Hmm.
My favorite gun.
Take it.
I want you to have it.
Guard this point of entry.
Make sure we're not flanked from behind.
Flanked.
Right.
Just shoot anyone who's not us.
Got it.
Huh.
Tick, put the jewelry down and get out of the corpse.
I will.
I will do that.
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING.]
We have a serious breach.
Ooh, yeah.
- And there's something else.
- Hmm? Everest took the scientist with him.
[LAUGHS.]
You said Karamazov was key.
Fuck him.
Got all I need from that shrimp.
Drop a dime on him to the Armenian embassy.
Tell them he blew up his own lab, defected to the West.
They'll pop a cap in his tiny ass.
It's ice cream boy that's got me tickled.
Instead of running to freedom, little punk chose to come back and save my scientist.
That means, all those years ago, I created exactly what I need now, a hero.
Come on.
Let's blow this joint.
God, I can't see a thing.
- Turn on your light.
- I have a light? Touch it.
Did you even read the manual? ARTHUR: Whoa.
[ARTHUR GROANS.]
[PANTING.]
[ARTHUR SHOUTS.]
[PANTING.]
KARAMAZOV: Hurray! Arthur! [ARTHUR SHOUTING.]
Hey, wait-wait, where are you going? We got to keep moving.
My, God.
I have not seen the sky in years.
ARTHUR: Don't worry, my friend.
I promise you, no one will ever make you their prisoner ever ag - [GROANS.]
- I'm sorry! - Very sorry! - Ah, Dr.
Karamazov! [IN DISTANCE.]
: I'm sorry! ARTHUR: Come on, I need you to help stop The Terror! You said you'd explain everything.
Arthur! Dot? What are you doing here? I came to rescue you.
What's with the gun? Covering your flank.
Okay.
C-4.
I see more than four.
Damn you, Terror! [DOT GRUNTS.]
God, are you okay? Arthur Tick and Overkill were down there.