Uncoupled (2022) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[jazzy upbeat music playing]
Oh! I hope I brought enough layers.
I hate being cold!
I did remember my altitude pills,
thank God.
I get so queasy in the mountains.
One time I was
Stanley, this is three days of men,
snow, and sex. No whining allowed.
I'm not whining. I love gay ski weekend.
It's the only hot boys' event
where I don't have to take my shirt off.
- What up?
- Hiya.
- Here we go.
- I'm getting shotgun.
- Give me this.
- Wow. You look so subtle.
- Okay ♪
- Bossa nova baby ♪
Beach house, lazy
Pink shades, rosé, sleepin' all day ♪
So here are your check-in forms,
and this is an itinerary
with the weekend's activities.
[chuckles] You've been
extremely welcoming, Harrison.
He'll just give it a quick scan
for the hot-tub orgy and throw it away.
The orgy isn't listed, Stanley,
because then anyone could attend.
Hey. Hey! You see that guy?
Blue camo jacket?
I know him. His name's, um
We met two years ago
at a Realtor conference in Cleveland.
His name's Corey.
Oh! We definitely had some vibes.
But I couldn't do anything
because of Colin. Idiot.
You let commitment get in the way
of sex with a hot guy
in America's most boring city?
Are you nervous?
- You look nervous.
- What? Nervous? No!
No! Okay, maybe a little.
When we met, I was suave and confident
because I knew nothing could happen.
- But now I'm available
- You can actually have sex with the guy!
Plus, with the thin air up here,
it makes everyone horny.
I can barely breathe,
but I always get laid at altitude.
So go get him.
Hmm. Oh no. He's gone.
No, no, it's better this way.
Now if you happen to run into him
casually, you won't seem so thirsty.
- I love how deftly you can spin shit.
- [laughs]
Let's go up to our rooms, get changed,
meet back here in 15?
Make it 45.
I have to find ski clothes to rent.
You're renting ski clothes?
- Who does that?
- You know I never ski.
Why spend a fortune on clothes when I can
just rent them? It's like bowling shoes.
Ugh, yeah. Smelly and cheap.
- Enjoy, guys.
- Thanks.
I'll take two keys.
One for me and
one for you.
- Smooth!
- Does that ever work?
- [Stanley] It never works.
- Every time.
Every time.
[theme music playing]
What can I say? My clients liked it,
but they honestly were
a little disappointed.
- They thought it looked better online.
- [sighs] I hear ya.
I look better online.
[both laugh]
Thanks for coming.
Hey, Claire, what are you doing here?
I have a meeting with my architect
in the new apartment.
- [chuckles]
- Oh!
Question.
Do I seem
lesbian to you?
Uh
No. You don't seem
like you like women much at all.
Thank you!
I have been going out
with my divorced girlfriends lately
for some bitter camaraderie,
and more than one of them
has lurched at me at the end of the night
with a drunken, sloppy kiss.
I I get that we're all
a little disappointed in men right now,
but what's with the rampant
late-in-life lesbianism?
Chalk it up to boredom.
And it's very cool
to be sexually fluid right now.
Well, that explains my lack of interest.
I've never been very cool.
Well, at least there's less shame
about sexuality.
We don't have to just choose a box
and stay in it.
- I hear that, but I like my box.
- Sounds like your girlfriends do too.
- Oh!
- [both laugh]
I guess!
So what are you up to tonight?
I'm meeting my friend Mia at Ten West.
God, Henry was dying to get into that club
once upon a time, but they rejected him.
Oh.
Wouldn't it just kill him if he found out
that I got in there before he did?
Aah
Yeah. That would be very cool for you.
I mean, to shove something like that
in his face could be delicious!
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm!
- Fuck that clown! [chuckles]
- Oh.
I bet a little victory like that
would be healing for me,
as a woman and as a mother,
which I'm sure
someone like you understands
Oh! Hey! Would you like to come with us?
Oh! Yes! Good God.
I hope I didn't make you
work that hard to sell my apartment.
Oh, you did!
[upbeat music playing]
It's true. Everyone does look sexier
in ski gear.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror
and was like, "Oh, hey, James Bond."
Play it cool, 007, when you find
your man with the golden dick.
- Hah!
- [chuckles]
Hello.
[Billy] Oh, hey, look! Pink is back!
Who missed it?
- Anyone?
- It's YSL. Thank you.
- A woman at the shop told me
- "I have the same one"?
[Michael and Billy laugh]
- It's all they had in my size!
- A ladies' 14?
Oh, whatever.
You paid thousands of dollars for yours.
I paid 80. Who's the fool now?
Girls, you're both pretty.
Can we ski now, please?
Yo. What's up, brother?
What's up, brother?
You know that guy?
No, just sayin' what's up.
I bet he did Jack and Jill as a kid too.
What's Jack and Jill?
It's a social club some Black parents
make their kids join
to learn to ski and other bougie shit.
Aw! Billy. That was kind of sweet,
hearing you tell a story
that wasn't about sex.
I did get my first hand job on a ski lift.
- Okay.
- Oh, oh! There he is! Oh! Blue camo!
- [Stanley] Ooh! Go!
- [Michael] Blue Oh
- What are you waitin' for?
- I I don't know.
- See you at the bottom, you big bottom!
- Oh, you!
Ow!
Hey, Corey, right?
Michael Lawson.
We met two years ago in Cleveland.
At the at the Realtor conference.
Michael from New York.
Of course I remember.
- Nice to see you here.
- You too.
I remember you had that boyfriend.
I don't remember these shoulders.
Somebody's been hittin' the gym.
Um About that
Oh!
- Sorry!
- He's
We're not together anymore.
I don't have a boyfriend!
I'm single now!
[grunting and groaning]
I can't believe it.
I was mid flirt, then next thing I know,
I'm going ass backwards down the mountain.
Babe, it's gay ski weekend.
Not gay ski afternoon.
You'll see him again.
You're right. Keep your eyes peeled
for a blue camo coat.
Hmm. Good news,
it's the only coat like that I've seen.
Bad news, there's two other women
over there in Stanley's outfit.
I don't care. I got lucky wearing
a cheerleader skirt once for Halloween.
I am not gonna let ladies' ski pants
bring me down.
- Wow.
- Oh my.
Fireball shots to warm up?
- N no, thanks.
- Yes, please!
- Why not?
- One of these at this altitude equals two.
- Please.
- Don't start with the drink math, Stanley.
Michael! [laughs] How funny you are here.
I never see you
at these sexy gay weekends.
Hello, Horst.
I heard you were dumped.
I'm sorry. But now you're in the same boat
as the rest of us, ja?
Care to join me
and my ski pals for dinner?
- No, thanks. I'm here with my own friends.
- [both drawl] Hi.
Hi, what a good idea. Boys' trip!
It's the perfect thing to do when your
hot ex is on a romantic getaway in Miami.
What are you talking about?
Colin's in Miami?
Ja. My favorite instructor
at Barry's Boot Camp's ex-husband Robbie
is dating him.
I saw a picture of them in Miami
on his Instagram.
Why didn't you tell me you split up?
He really was so hot.
We'll be at the fondue pot at 8:00.
I'll save you a fork
if you change your mind.
- Oh my God.
- Michael, don't get crazy.
Yeah, maybe Eva Braun
over there is mistaken.
You heard him.
He saw them on his favorite
Barry's Boot Camp instructor's
ex-husband Robbie's Instagram.
Well, whatever. This is the last thing
you should be thinking about.
Do you think it's just a fling, or this
Robbie's a real person with a real job?
And if they're on some romantic getaway
in Miami, do you think this is serious?
Wh what are you doing?
I'm searching Horst's Instagram
for Robbie's profile.
Wait, you don't think Colin would bring
him to the Jonathans' wedding, do you?
Oh my God.
I'm going to have to sit there and watch
Colin start his new future. Shit!
Horst knows, like, eight Robbies,
and half of them have private accounts.
Michael, snap out of it!
You have Corey.
Or you will when you remember
you're at gay ski weekend to have fun,
not obsess over your ex.
Exactly. Let it go.
You're right. You're right.
I have Corey. I don't need to care
about where Colin is. I will.
I will let it go, for real.
But I will take
one more of those fireball shots!
Baby, I'm about to blow ♪
- Sorry, you're not on the list.
- Baby, I'm about to blow ♪
Fuck that list.
Do you see two fine-ass ladies
tryin' to get in the club?
Can you look again under Suzanne Prentiss,
double S, as in super special?
Didn't you two yell at me
when I worked at Soho House?
- Nope. Never been.
- That's racist.
Okay. Just check with Trey.
Fine. Step aside, please.
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
And remind him
that it's Kai's mother plus two.
What a minute, plus two?
Who else is comin'?
Oh, client. She's about to get a divorce.
She wants to rub it in her ex-husband's
face that she's partyin' at Ten West.
Okay, I get that.
But how is she? Is she chill?
Sorry I'm late.
I laid out 15 outfits on the bed
and then just went with all black.
I look like I flew here on a broom.
You look great.
- So great I wanna make out with ya.
- Oh!
- Ha-ha!
- [both chuckle]
[host] Trey vouched.
- You can go up.
- Thank you.
Attitude!
You must be Mia. I'm Claire Lewis.
Thank you for letting me crash your party.
- [all chuckle]
- Let's check my fur.
You won't like her at first,
but you'll warm up as the night goes on.
Appreciate the heads-up.
- Let's go, ladies!
- [Mia] Whoo!
- Baby, I'm about to blow ♪
- Hey!
Oh, this is cute!
We got cute ones in here tonight!
Aah! [laughs]
Oh my God, look!
Suzanne!
Oh, hey, Trey.
I'm so sorry. Kai asked me
to put you on the list, and I spaced.
I feel awful, trust me. I don't like
to disappoint a beautiful woman.
[laughs] First drink is on me.
You guys wanna order,
or should I surprise you?
You can surprise me with a double
Belvedere up with two olives, very cold.
- Make it three.
- All right.
Suzanne, I think that young man
has a little thing for you.
I have told her that!
He flirts with her so hard
every time we use him to get into places.
Stop.
Even if that were true, which it's not,
that is my son's best friend. Pass!
Come on. Wouldn't it be nice to spend
a romantic evening with a young man
who wants to get into your vagina,
rather than one who came out of it?
- [laughs]
- She's funny!
- Warming.
- Mm-hmm!
Okay, someone take a picture of me here so
I can make my ex-husband feel like shit!
No, no, no, no, no! They don't allow
pics here. They will throw us out.
- We have to be stealth about this.
- And you can't post on Instagram.
My friend Marcus tagged a pic here.
They came after him
like the Scientologists went after Leah.
I'm not on any of those things.
I'm going to text a photo
to my oldest child,
the one who's still a daughter,
because she's mad at her father for dating
someone barely older than she is.
I use my kids
to fuck with my ex-husband too!
I mean, the shit I've gotten away with.
I should be the KGB.
This is the fun you missed out on,
not knowing who Kai's father is.
I also missed out
on gettin' left like you two.
[both laughing]
- Oh
- Okay. Still fresh.
- I get it.
- I'm sorry.
Here we go. Have a seat.
Ooh! Thank you, Trey. This is cute skrt.
I've also got a little molly
if you're looking.
- Oh no. Who do you think I am? I can't!
- Not so fast!
I've never done it. My kids are grown.
What am I waiting for?
And it looked so fun
when J. Lo did it in Hustlers.
[Mia chuckles]
- That's two yeses to your one no.
- [Suzanne sighs]
Okay, fine. Ju Maybe just a smidge.
Oh!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- [Claire giggles]
Oh, I'm so excited!
Either he's already done some of that,
or he is dying to get wit' you.
Is that okay to say that? "Get wit' you?"
- I'mma need to sit wit' it.
- I'm on board.
Okay!
[light jazz playing in background]
I am so lucky
that you are both my best friends.
And I'm forever grateful
that you get to be with me
- while my life is literally falling apart.
- Oh!
Take it easy with the booze there, gushy.
You don't wanna cross over
into wasted sorority girl territory.
I'm not wasted. I promise.
Or sad. Or thinking about Colin.
- I need to find Horst.
- No, you don't.
I do, as a matter of fact,
because I sent him many texts,
and none of them have gone through
'cause the service here sucks.
- Okay, let's get an espresso in you, huh?
- Good idea.
- You stay right there.
- Stay. Don't move.
- I think he's had four of those fireballs.
- Yeah.
Which, as we know, equals eight.
- What's up?
- Oh, cute.
Michael.
- I thought I lost you on the slopes.
- Corey. You're he here.
And in a robe.
I was worried about you.
Nah.
[chuckles]
Oh, by the way, I don't have a boyfriend.
Yeah, I heard. So did the entire mountain.
You know, the echo.
Right.
[chuckles] Cool, cool.
Um
Glad there wasn't an avalanche.
Well,
there is still time
to make this mountain shake.
- Come find me in the hot tub.
- Absolutely.
Guys! Guys!
I found Corey.
He wants me to meet him in the hot tub!
- All right!
- Aw!
- Well, knock this back.
- Yeah.
- Knock it back.
- Put on a robe and get your ass in there.
- [Stamley] Mm
- Pyeoww!
- Oh!
- Hey, that's hot!
Okay.
[club music playing]
So you gonna let me
Okay. Don't tell a soul.
Horst, wait up!
[club music playing loudly]
Michael!
We missed you at fondue!
Now we're dancing off
the bread and the cheese.
Horst, you follow four Robbies
and 12 Roberts,
and almost all of them
have private accounts.
I need to see that guy's Instagram page.
I apologize for telling you about Robbie.
That was a bad thing for a friend to do.
Are we friend
Never mind. Um
I need to see Robbie's account, please.
Are you sure that's a good idea?
You are a crier. I've seen it.
- Just let me see the damn picture!
- Oh God.
Ugh! Here.
Fuck!
Colin looks so happy.
It's not his fake smile
like in family pictures.
That's his real smile,
like when he looks at money.
Please tell me Robbie's a cater waiter.
He's a successful architect.
Like super driven
to make up for his small penis?
Nein.
Is that German for no?
Oh, I guess not. Oh God.
That poor Speedo. It's working so hard.
May I have my phone back now?
I can unlock some hot private photos
on his Grindr if you want.
[Billy] that big a deal
for purple lingerie to be lying around
- [Stanley] I have no idea!
- [Billy] Now it's a thing?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Uh, what are you doing here?
- I thought you were in the tub with Corey.
- Hey! Whoa!
Whoa, hey, that's six! Oh!
Uh, which is really 12.
He should be in rehab.
Colin's moved on with a hot architect
who is younger, better-looking,
and way more successful than me.
Oh, come on, that just means
it's time for you to move on too.
I can definitely think
of one good way to do that.
Huh? [burbling]
Whoosh!
Brrr!
- Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub!
- Is that supposed to be a hot tub?
- Yes!
- Who swims in a hot tub?
It wasn't swimming.
I mean, it was saying water. Hot water.
[hip-hop music playing]
- Newsflash. I love molly.
- [chuckles]
I like the way the lights glow. [gasps]
I love the feel
of the glass in my hand.
[laughs] It's all just extra.
Did I use that right? Extra?
- You actually did.
- Yeah.
Oh! And I feel beautiful.
Which is so welcome.
Would you take a picture of me
now, when I'm feeling so beautiful?
Yes. But let's be real cool about it.
Hand me the phone. Nice and easy.
[Mia] Hurry up. Do it quick.
Do it right now.
Ooh!
Your phone will be waiting at the door
when you leave, or I can walk you out now.
It's not mine. It's hers.
How about I give you $200,
and you give me my phone back,
and we pretend like this never happened?
Ugh! Youth and their ethics.
Exhausting! [chuckles]
Don't get me in trouble, woman.
Or you're gonna owe me.
Big.
[Mia] My God!
Suzanne, wake up, girl!
That boy wants to get all up on you.
[Claire] It is as plain as day.
What do you think "owe me big" means?
Okay, okay, I gotta admit,
it seems like he's working me,
but I can't believe it.
I'm his friend's mother.
Oh!
It's on! [laughs]
Can I say that? "It's on."
It's all fine, girl. Stop askin' us.
[all laughing]
No fucking way.
Claire!
Oh my.
Ooh, what a surprise. [chuckles]
Uh Suzanne, Mia,
this is Henry, my ex-husband.
And Oh.
Sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Layla.
- Hello.
- Hey.
It's so odd seeing you here.
It's like spotting Jane Austen at CBGB's.
[laughs] Oh! I get it.
Because I'm so out of place
at a hip, downtown club.
Well, what's funny
is that I'm shocked to see you here.
It's nice they didn't reject you
a fifth time.
- Well, I'm a member. I got us in.
- Oh.
I thought you had to be at least 21
to belong here.
Be nice, Claire.
I'm actually happy for you.
You're getting out, trying new things.
And who am I to say
you won't meet someone here?
Some old pots find new lids.
Oh, Henry, you are such a fool.
You think you're winning,
but you look like you're being
escorted around by your nurse.
And I am not on the prowl
for a a young piece of ass,
if that's what you're implying.
I already have a lid for my pot.
[Suzanne] Mm!
[Claire] Mm!
That's right. I'm fluid!
Now please go away before I ask Trey,
that's the bartender, whose name I know,
to make you go away.
Good luck, ladies.
Bye!
Wow!
That felt really good. [chuckles]
That fat fuck didn't know what hit him.
You think he's fat? I hope we never
run into each other after the holidays.
I won that round, didn't I?
Ooh, you did!
We're gonna have to have a little
talk about consent later, but you did win.
[soft conversation and laughter]
- Oh!
- You made it!
May I
- Corey, may I May I join you?
- Hi.
I'd be bummed if you didn't.
Watch it.
Ah Ooh! Ooh!
- [gasps]
- Feels good?
- Ooh!
- [laughs]
Finally,
I am all
I promise I'm all yours.
Is it hot in here? Are you hot?
- You tell me.
- [chuckles]
I mean, I know you're hot,
but are you also aggressively warm?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, no, I'm Yeah, I'm good.
You don't look so good.
It's just I think I had too many
of those fireballs and fajitas.
- [belches]
- Oh!
- [gags]
- [man 1] No!
[man 2] No! No, no! 2
- No! No, no!
- [Michael groans]
- [vomiting]
- [man 2] God! Yuck!
[Michael groaning]
That was bad.
Oh! Disgusting!
You turned that hot tub
into a Chipotle bowl.
- But I feel better now.
- Mm.
How how is Corey?
Oh, just delighted.
- You shared a meal together.
- [laughs]
- [Stanley and Billy] Oh!
- Easy there, Tonya Harding.
- Hey, let's go to the top of the
- Oh!
Tomorrow, we'll go to the top of the lift.
We can go at 8:00 a.m.
Totally. But don't talk.
There's a breath thing.
Had I known this was
where my night was headed,
I'd have rented grippier boots.
- I love you guys so much.
- Oof!
- Okay, we love you too.
- I lo No, so much.
I know, so much.
And the eighth time
you tell your friends you love 'em,
you might wanna kneel down near a toilet.
Can we hurry? I have an eager-to-please
hotel clerk waiting in my room!
All right, hold on to Michael
while I unlock the door.
- [Billy] Oh!
- [Stanley sighs]
[Billy] Whew!
Oh, what's up?
- Oh! Michael!
- What
[loud thud]
[pop music playing]
And guess who noticed that kiss?
[mouths]
Girl, you need to make this happen.
She is so right.
He's obviously just waiting for you
to go make the first move out of respect.
Men are terrified of women now,
as they should be.
You're not gonna stop hounding me
until I go over there, are you? [sighs]
Hey, Trey! You got a sec?
[giggles]
Uh So, um
I'm feeling kind of weird about
everything you've seen me do tonight,
and I would love it
if you didn't mention it to Kai.
What are you talking about?
You're allowed to do whatever you want.
In theory. Yeah.
But the, um the molly,
the kiss,
you and me flirting.
Oh! Oh shit, did that upset you?
That's just part of the bartender's job.
I flirt with everybody.
That guy in the black suit thinks we're
going to the Hamptons for the weekend.
Oh! [laughs]
Oh, cool. No, I, um
I knew I knew that.
I was just playing with you too.
And Kai would be fine with all this,
by the way.
Maybe, but I need to keep
a certain image with him.
It's been a lot of pressure,
single momming it all these years,
being his mother and his father.
Well, hey, at least you won't have
to do that much longer
now that he found his dad.
[pop music continues]
Uh
Sorry, I
The music got really loud. One more time?
I said now that he found his dad.
You know, on 23andMe.
Maybe it'll ease some of that pressure,
and you'll finally get to just be his mom.
Oh fuck, did you not know this?
Uh He told me he was gonna tell you!
No, no, no. He He, um No, he did.
- Oh.
- [chuckles] No, he
He told me. Yeah. Uh
I, um I was just ridin' a serious wave.
Feelin' a little too high.
It's your fault, boy!
[laughs]
So, um
Yeah, so I'm good if you're good,
and, um go work, flirt, do your thing.
Um And zip it with Kai.
You got it.
- Yeah?
- Mm.
Okay.
[sighs]
Uh-huh.
[sighs] Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you.
That was the front desk.
They're draining the hot tub.
I'm assuming the hazmat charges
are on our bill.
Oh God. Is that when this happened?
That was later.
Billy dropped you on your face.
I'm sorry. It was just a quick hello.
I can't believe this is the face
I'm gonna have at the Jonathans' wedding
where I have to see Colin after he's
refreshed from a weekend in Miami
having great sex
with his hot new architect boyfriend.
You don't know that.
I mean, the sex could be bad.
I'm sorry Colin found a way
of ruining this weekend for you, sweets.
No, Colin didn't ruin this weekend.
I did that all by myself.
I've been carrying him around with me
everywhere I go, in everything I do,
ruining any chance of something else.
- Look what I did to myself.
- Actually, Billy did that.
No, not Billy.
I was the one who got so drunk
that I couldn't even walk.
Not to mention, I actually had
a second chance with Corey,
and I messed that up too.
If it helps, I noticed when he dragged you
out of the hot tub
that he had freakishly small calves.
And no baby toenail. None.
I can't do this anymore.
I have to turn a corner.
It is time to let Colin go
and move the fuck on.
I just want this pain to go away.
[sighs]
It's gonna go away, right?
[moody music playing]
It might leave the teensiest scar.
Huh.
[women vocalizing]
I can live with that.
No matter what ♪
- I will always love you ♪
- [sighs]
Even an ocean away, oh ♪
You're my best friend
From the start to the end ♪
Everything will be okay ♪
No matter what ♪
No matter what ♪
No matter what ♪
Don't listen to what people say ♪
No matter what ♪
Everything will be okay ♪
Yeah, no matter what ♪
Don't listen to what people say ♪
Oh, all the tears we cried ♪
And bottles we have shared ♪
Cigarettes and late nights ♪
And runnin' wild in the moolight ♪
Sad times and great, great heights ♪
Playing guitar ♪