Undead Murder Farce (2023) s01e07 Episode Script
Free For All
1
This isn't good. At this rate,
we won't last even 20 minutes.
We'll all drown!
No, Lupin is known not to kill.
Mister Fogg, how far below
the surface of the moat
is the floor of the tower's semi-basement?
Hm The basement is about
six feet below the surface.
The surface of the moat is about four.
Then at worst, the water will stop
right before the ceiling.
W-We're supposed to stay
in the water for that long?
When Lupin declared that
he could open any lock,
I decided to seal away the locks.
He managed to control my train
of thought with a few simple words.
What do they want us to do?
They want you to break through
the wall of the basement.
What should we do, Reynold?
Fatima, you go.
I'm going to keep to the plan.
Understood. I'll go.
Hurry up and get here, Lupin.
Mister Fogg!
Hold onto the ceiling decorations!
Everyone, come to a wall!
I can barely see a thing!
Follow my voice! Or the sound of the water—
It's gone quieter.
Has the water stopped?
Wh-What the?!
It's gone.
Mister Fogg, if your watch is not
broken, could you tell me the time?
It's 11:30 PM.
Free for All
Episode Seven
That's my eleventh loss.
But how did he get the safe?
It was impossible to get in or out of
the room, and the safe was underwater!
He may not have completely gotten away yet.
As long as the bridge at the
front entrance is blocked,
it's impossible to leave the grounds.
For now, let us head to the surface.
We need to warm up by the stove.
Mister Ganimard,
may I see your handcuffs?
Certainly.
What are you doing?!
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to
introduce to you all Arsene Lupin.
What?!
Come, now. That's impossible!
How did you figure it out?
My disguise was perfect.
Your footsteps when we crossed
the bridge were light.
That means your fat belly is fake.
But first, let's talk about the safe.
Yes, where did the safe go?
It wasn't taken out of the
hole that I created.
True.
Through the vent, then?
But no adult should've been
able to go through that duct.
Correct. And it had a metal grate over it!
But it the water pressure tore it loose.
Talented as the Phantom may be,
he cannot get through that duct.
But the purpose of emptying the moat was
not just to confuse our guards.
It also let him send a rope into the room
in a way that would not normally be possible.
But to pull the safe up with the rope,
he'd need to have someone in the room.
But you even tugged on Ganimard's moustache!
I did. And that was classic
Lupin strategy, you see
The reason he showed up
in my room with a disguise
was to make us think that his disguises
could be easily seen through—
mere fake noses and wigs.
Now, then
Who exactly wins in this situation?
You've caught me
But I've stolen the diamond.
I win, of course.
You may have taken the safe, but you
have not obtained the diamond.
One of Mister Fogg's handmaids delivered
it to Baker Street this afternoon.
So the diamond is back at Baker Street?
No. As a gentleman, that wouldn't be fair.
I had declared to Lupin that
I would hole up in the basement room
with the diamond, after all.
Then where exactly is the diamond?
Your left coat pocket.
What?!
All I have in here is my tobacco box
It's gone!
To think he could pull that off on the fly
Lupin's gone!
Find Lupin!
He should still be somewhere in the mansion!
Arsene Lupin is apparently
a great thief in France,
but in Japan, we have
Nezumi Kozo, Jinnai Kosaki,
and the most famous of all, Goemon Ishikawa.
There's this crazy story about how
Goemon Ishikawa was captured
in Kyoto's Fushimi Castle,
and sentenced to be boiled
to death in a cauldron.
That's all people ever talked about,
which was no fun for his lackeys.
So they decided to steal every
single pot and cauldron throughout Edo,
causing all kinds of trouble!
Now, the ones most inconvenienced by this
were the tofu vendors, who needed
pots to boil their soybeans.
Realizing business would
be over at this rate,
one old tofu vendor decided to use his head.
And what he thought up was
A smoke bomb?
After all that planning
Well, what was I supposed to do?
So, where's the diamond?
And where's the safe?
It's pretty heavy.
Ooh.
The Penultimate Night
and the safe made of pure silver.
Truly, art created by something inhuma—
We're here, Tsugaru!
The old tofu vendor decided he'd
use his head and catch the thieves.
He hid inside his giant cauldron and
planned to stay up all night
But he'd had a few drinks first,
and ended up snoring loudly!
Two thieves heave-ho the cauldron outta
there with the old man still in it!
Surprised, he poked his head out,
and shouted, "Dear, it's an earthquake!"
startling the two thieves!
Then the old man looked around him and said,
"Oh, no! They stole my whole house!"
And we call that little tale, "The Pot Thief."
Despite your warning, I decided
to stick my neck out for this.
Wh-What are you?
I'm Aya Rindo, and I'm a detective
who specializes in monsters.
Aya Rindo? But that's impossible. You—
You mistook that Parisian reporter for me.
In other words, you assumed that I was
a normal human being with a body.
That's why I had Tsugaru go after
you and lose on purpose.
No wonder he didn't put up much of a fight.
We had a meeting with
Mister Fogg in the evening,
and I requested that he put me in
the safe instead of the diamond.
So you were inside the
safe this whole time.
I was holding the door shut with my teeth
that whole time so it wouldn't open.
Though I was quite impressed
with you flooding the room.
Well played.
But I haven't lost yet.
Do you think you can
prevail against Tsugaru and Shizuku?
You there, with the blue hair.
Oni Slayer, was it?
Well, I have the Phantom of the
Opera on my side.
Don't I, Erik?
Erik!
That bastard!
You've made such a mess.
Yeah, I'm done being a gentleman.
Now some real trouble's shown up.
Too true!
One diamond, two monsters,
and one phantom thief, eh?
I prefer things neat and clean.
I'll take you out with a single strike each.
Hey, that one wasn't me!
I don't have any more bombs planted!
Then
The bridge has fallen!
The bridge?
Without the bridge, we won't be able to
leave.
M-Multiple intruders!
Are you ready, Aleister?
Just say the word.
Carmilla.
But of course.
Victor.
Ready.
Jack.
No problems here.
Now, then Why don't we get started?
The night has only just begun.
Now, then
Lupin has the diamond.
We've destroyed the bridge, so ambushing
him should be easy enough,
but there's no guarantee that
he'll hold onto the diamond.
There will probably be a scramble for
it within Royce's encirclement.
Ooh, I hate those guys!
Jack will search the east side
while Victor and I will search
the west side for the diamond.
You and Aleister will cause a diversion.
Any questions?
Would it be all right if we killed
your "old friend," Professor?
I have no objections.
A diversion? That's no fun.
I actually like causing diversions.
I get to put on a show.
I cannot understand your
interests in the least.
You're the last person in a position
to criticize someone's interests, Carmilla.
Don't move!
Put your hands u—
How awful. You got blood on my dress.
You're a vampire. A little blood won't hurt you.
I'm a gourmand!
We should split up, too.
I'll take the east building. You take the west.
Roger.
I should take a moment to refuel.
Don't be frightened.
I'll make sure this is worth dying for.
Looks like some new guests have arrived.
I'm not interested in them.
Neither am I!
In that case—
Damn it!
You filthy monster! How dare
you step on my coat?!
Huh?
W-W-W-W-W-Wait! H-Hold it!
Lupin's getting away!
Wait, wait, wait!
I was in the wrong! Let's talk things out!
Hand over the diamond.
The diamond? You mean this?
The hell do you think you're doing?!
Is someone roughhousing in here?
Was it Lupin?
You're a bit late to the party.
Well, well
Aya Rindo.
I never would've thought
of a Trojan horse strategy.
Well, the Royce lad got in the way, you see.
He, Lupin, and my assistant went
running into the courtyard, laughing.
Laughing?
I sent Shizuku after the Phantom.
If you want to join in
the fun, you should hurry.
I fear circumstances have changed.
New intruders have appeared
at the front entrance.
An unidentified group of five.
They are not working with Lupin.
How do you know?
Because they've already
killed over twenty people.
Let us hurry.
Would you mind taking me with you?
I've grown interested in these intruders.
I'm terribly sorry, but Ms. Rindo—
I'm fairly certain the new
intruders are no ordinary folk.
My knowledge may be of use.
That maid
I know you're there, Phantom of the Opera.
I'm Agent Number 7 from Royce's advisory
security department, Fatima Doubledarts.
If you do not come out,
I will shoot you from here.
Even if you defeat me,
I do not have the diamond.
You are included in our purge list.
The deformed Phantom
who has terrorized the Paris Opera
House for the past twenty years.
Enemies of humanity are enemies of Royce!
Crossbows? I can't say that
I've seen that type before.
They're specialized for taking down monsters.
They can fire bolts continuously.
You're right there.
Holmes!
Hello? Is anyone still alive here?
H-Help me
Wha—
One should be quiet in a museum.
But this is so much more fun.
The great detective, Holmes
Doctor Watson
And what exactly is that behind you?
I'm also a great detective.
Did you commit this atrocity alone? But how?
With magic.
Now I remember who you are.
You're Aleister Crowley, aren't you?
Who's that?
He made the headlines not too long ago.
He's known as a self-proclaimed
researcher of magic and numerology
who went around to various cults in
London and conducted cruel rituals.
I'm currently with a different organization.
You're not its leader?
No, no. I'm nothing more than a lackey.
Are your lot also after the diamond?
I believe Lupin currently has it.
That's quite all right. I'm supposed
to be creating a diversion.
Oh, I've also received
permission to kill you two.
Wha—
I'm so happy!
I never thought I'd be able to talk
to the great Holmes about magic.
You're far more noble
than Mathers and Yeats.
I know this scent.
It's a paralyzing agent used by the
indigenous people of the Andaman Islands.
It seems your thumbs work more than
twice as fast as a regular person's.
Meaning, your fingers are your weapon.
Quite a cheap illusion.
Aw, you saw through me at first glance.
I'm impressed!
In that case, I guess I'm
going to have to shut you up.
Is someone there?
Are you the last one?
Would you stop putting holes in
my body? I'm quite fond of it.
A vampire?
Are you hurt?
I-I'm fine. Weren't you with the Cage User?
I'm Shizuku Hasei.
By the way, have you seen the Phantom?
N-No
Who was that?
She's one of the intruders,
and I believe she's a vampire.
Who are you?
You don't look like you work for Royce
What in the world is a Cage User?
A detective.
Allow me to ask you the same question.
Have you seen the Pha—
No, I haven't.
I see.
Then if you'll excuse me.
You really think you can just kick me
aside and then run away?
I'm terribly sorry, but Lady Aya has
instructed me to pursue the Phantom.
Lady Aya?
I see. Well, I've been ordered to
kill anyone who gets in our way.
So if I happen to run into this Lady Aya
Do you mind if I end her?
Please flee. You'll be in the way.
But she's a vampire! If you
don't have the proper weapon—
But I do.
A naginata?
Hey, now.
If you destroy his courtyard,
Phileas Fogg is going to yell at you.
There's no need to worry.
The mansion is properly insured.
This isn't good. At this rate,
we won't last even 20 minutes.
We'll all drown!
No, Lupin is known not to kill.
Mister Fogg, how far below
the surface of the moat
is the floor of the tower's semi-basement?
Hm The basement is about
six feet below the surface.
The surface of the moat is about four.
Then at worst, the water will stop
right before the ceiling.
W-We're supposed to stay
in the water for that long?
When Lupin declared that
he could open any lock,
I decided to seal away the locks.
He managed to control my train
of thought with a few simple words.
What do they want us to do?
They want you to break through
the wall of the basement.
What should we do, Reynold?
Fatima, you go.
I'm going to keep to the plan.
Understood. I'll go.
Hurry up and get here, Lupin.
Mister Fogg!
Hold onto the ceiling decorations!
Everyone, come to a wall!
I can barely see a thing!
Follow my voice! Or the sound of the water—
It's gone quieter.
Has the water stopped?
Wh-What the?!
It's gone.
Mister Fogg, if your watch is not
broken, could you tell me the time?
It's 11:30 PM.
Free for All
Episode Seven
That's my eleventh loss.
But how did he get the safe?
It was impossible to get in or out of
the room, and the safe was underwater!
He may not have completely gotten away yet.
As long as the bridge at the
front entrance is blocked,
it's impossible to leave the grounds.
For now, let us head to the surface.
We need to warm up by the stove.
Mister Ganimard,
may I see your handcuffs?
Certainly.
What are you doing?!
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to
introduce to you all Arsene Lupin.
What?!
Come, now. That's impossible!
How did you figure it out?
My disguise was perfect.
Your footsteps when we crossed
the bridge were light.
That means your fat belly is fake.
But first, let's talk about the safe.
Yes, where did the safe go?
It wasn't taken out of the
hole that I created.
True.
Through the vent, then?
But no adult should've been
able to go through that duct.
Correct. And it had a metal grate over it!
But it the water pressure tore it loose.
Talented as the Phantom may be,
he cannot get through that duct.
But the purpose of emptying the moat was
not just to confuse our guards.
It also let him send a rope into the room
in a way that would not normally be possible.
But to pull the safe up with the rope,
he'd need to have someone in the room.
But you even tugged on Ganimard's moustache!
I did. And that was classic
Lupin strategy, you see
The reason he showed up
in my room with a disguise
was to make us think that his disguises
could be easily seen through—
mere fake noses and wigs.
Now, then
Who exactly wins in this situation?
You've caught me
But I've stolen the diamond.
I win, of course.
You may have taken the safe, but you
have not obtained the diamond.
One of Mister Fogg's handmaids delivered
it to Baker Street this afternoon.
So the diamond is back at Baker Street?
No. As a gentleman, that wouldn't be fair.
I had declared to Lupin that
I would hole up in the basement room
with the diamond, after all.
Then where exactly is the diamond?
Your left coat pocket.
What?!
All I have in here is my tobacco box
It's gone!
To think he could pull that off on the fly
Lupin's gone!
Find Lupin!
He should still be somewhere in the mansion!
Arsene Lupin is apparently
a great thief in France,
but in Japan, we have
Nezumi Kozo, Jinnai Kosaki,
and the most famous of all, Goemon Ishikawa.
There's this crazy story about how
Goemon Ishikawa was captured
in Kyoto's Fushimi Castle,
and sentenced to be boiled
to death in a cauldron.
That's all people ever talked about,
which was no fun for his lackeys.
So they decided to steal every
single pot and cauldron throughout Edo,
causing all kinds of trouble!
Now, the ones most inconvenienced by this
were the tofu vendors, who needed
pots to boil their soybeans.
Realizing business would
be over at this rate,
one old tofu vendor decided to use his head.
And what he thought up was
A smoke bomb?
After all that planning
Well, what was I supposed to do?
So, where's the diamond?
And where's the safe?
It's pretty heavy.
Ooh.
The Penultimate Night
and the safe made of pure silver.
Truly, art created by something inhuma—
We're here, Tsugaru!
The old tofu vendor decided he'd
use his head and catch the thieves.
He hid inside his giant cauldron and
planned to stay up all night
But he'd had a few drinks first,
and ended up snoring loudly!
Two thieves heave-ho the cauldron outta
there with the old man still in it!
Surprised, he poked his head out,
and shouted, "Dear, it's an earthquake!"
startling the two thieves!
Then the old man looked around him and said,
"Oh, no! They stole my whole house!"
And we call that little tale, "The Pot Thief."
Despite your warning, I decided
to stick my neck out for this.
Wh-What are you?
I'm Aya Rindo, and I'm a detective
who specializes in monsters.
Aya Rindo? But that's impossible. You—
You mistook that Parisian reporter for me.
In other words, you assumed that I was
a normal human being with a body.
That's why I had Tsugaru go after
you and lose on purpose.
No wonder he didn't put up much of a fight.
We had a meeting with
Mister Fogg in the evening,
and I requested that he put me in
the safe instead of the diamond.
So you were inside the
safe this whole time.
I was holding the door shut with my teeth
that whole time so it wouldn't open.
Though I was quite impressed
with you flooding the room.
Well played.
But I haven't lost yet.
Do you think you can
prevail against Tsugaru and Shizuku?
You there, with the blue hair.
Oni Slayer, was it?
Well, I have the Phantom of the
Opera on my side.
Don't I, Erik?
Erik!
That bastard!
You've made such a mess.
Yeah, I'm done being a gentleman.
Now some real trouble's shown up.
Too true!
One diamond, two monsters,
and one phantom thief, eh?
I prefer things neat and clean.
I'll take you out with a single strike each.
Hey, that one wasn't me!
I don't have any more bombs planted!
Then
The bridge has fallen!
The bridge?
Without the bridge, we won't be able to
leave.
M-Multiple intruders!
Are you ready, Aleister?
Just say the word.
Carmilla.
But of course.
Victor.
Ready.
Jack.
No problems here.
Now, then Why don't we get started?
The night has only just begun.
Now, then
Lupin has the diamond.
We've destroyed the bridge, so ambushing
him should be easy enough,
but there's no guarantee that
he'll hold onto the diamond.
There will probably be a scramble for
it within Royce's encirclement.
Ooh, I hate those guys!
Jack will search the east side
while Victor and I will search
the west side for the diamond.
You and Aleister will cause a diversion.
Any questions?
Would it be all right if we killed
your "old friend," Professor?
I have no objections.
A diversion? That's no fun.
I actually like causing diversions.
I get to put on a show.
I cannot understand your
interests in the least.
You're the last person in a position
to criticize someone's interests, Carmilla.
Don't move!
Put your hands u—
How awful. You got blood on my dress.
You're a vampire. A little blood won't hurt you.
I'm a gourmand!
We should split up, too.
I'll take the east building. You take the west.
Roger.
I should take a moment to refuel.
Don't be frightened.
I'll make sure this is worth dying for.
Looks like some new guests have arrived.
I'm not interested in them.
Neither am I!
In that case—
Damn it!
You filthy monster! How dare
you step on my coat?!
Huh?
W-W-W-W-W-Wait! H-Hold it!
Lupin's getting away!
Wait, wait, wait!
I was in the wrong! Let's talk things out!
Hand over the diamond.
The diamond? You mean this?
The hell do you think you're doing?!
Is someone roughhousing in here?
Was it Lupin?
You're a bit late to the party.
Well, well
Aya Rindo.
I never would've thought
of a Trojan horse strategy.
Well, the Royce lad got in the way, you see.
He, Lupin, and my assistant went
running into the courtyard, laughing.
Laughing?
I sent Shizuku after the Phantom.
If you want to join in
the fun, you should hurry.
I fear circumstances have changed.
New intruders have appeared
at the front entrance.
An unidentified group of five.
They are not working with Lupin.
How do you know?
Because they've already
killed over twenty people.
Let us hurry.
Would you mind taking me with you?
I've grown interested in these intruders.
I'm terribly sorry, but Ms. Rindo—
I'm fairly certain the new
intruders are no ordinary folk.
My knowledge may be of use.
That maid
I know you're there, Phantom of the Opera.
I'm Agent Number 7 from Royce's advisory
security department, Fatima Doubledarts.
If you do not come out,
I will shoot you from here.
Even if you defeat me,
I do not have the diamond.
You are included in our purge list.
The deformed Phantom
who has terrorized the Paris Opera
House for the past twenty years.
Enemies of humanity are enemies of Royce!
Crossbows? I can't say that
I've seen that type before.
They're specialized for taking down monsters.
They can fire bolts continuously.
You're right there.
Holmes!
Hello? Is anyone still alive here?
H-Help me
Wha—
One should be quiet in a museum.
But this is so much more fun.
The great detective, Holmes
Doctor Watson
And what exactly is that behind you?
I'm also a great detective.
Did you commit this atrocity alone? But how?
With magic.
Now I remember who you are.
You're Aleister Crowley, aren't you?
Who's that?
He made the headlines not too long ago.
He's known as a self-proclaimed
researcher of magic and numerology
who went around to various cults in
London and conducted cruel rituals.
I'm currently with a different organization.
You're not its leader?
No, no. I'm nothing more than a lackey.
Are your lot also after the diamond?
I believe Lupin currently has it.
That's quite all right. I'm supposed
to be creating a diversion.
Oh, I've also received
permission to kill you two.
Wha—
I'm so happy!
I never thought I'd be able to talk
to the great Holmes about magic.
You're far more noble
than Mathers and Yeats.
I know this scent.
It's a paralyzing agent used by the
indigenous people of the Andaman Islands.
It seems your thumbs work more than
twice as fast as a regular person's.
Meaning, your fingers are your weapon.
Quite a cheap illusion.
Aw, you saw through me at first glance.
I'm impressed!
In that case, I guess I'm
going to have to shut you up.
Is someone there?
Are you the last one?
Would you stop putting holes in
my body? I'm quite fond of it.
A vampire?
Are you hurt?
I-I'm fine. Weren't you with the Cage User?
I'm Shizuku Hasei.
By the way, have you seen the Phantom?
N-No
Who was that?
She's one of the intruders,
and I believe she's a vampire.
Who are you?
You don't look like you work for Royce
What in the world is a Cage User?
A detective.
Allow me to ask you the same question.
Have you seen the Pha—
No, I haven't.
I see.
Then if you'll excuse me.
You really think you can just kick me
aside and then run away?
I'm terribly sorry, but Lady Aya has
instructed me to pursue the Phantom.
Lady Aya?
I see. Well, I've been ordered to
kill anyone who gets in our way.
So if I happen to run into this Lady Aya
Do you mind if I end her?
Please flee. You'll be in the way.
But she's a vampire! If you
don't have the proper weapon—
But I do.
A naginata?
Hey, now.
If you destroy his courtyard,
Phileas Fogg is going to yell at you.
There's no need to worry.
The mansion is properly insured.