Vanderpump Villa (2024) s01e07 Episode Script

1
- [Dan yelps]
- [donkey brays]
You guys are fake-ass bitches.
[Lisa Vanderpump] Previously, on
Vanderpump Villa
[Marciano]
Come on, dude.
[Lisa]
We have five single men
coming to have a good time.
[Hannah]
Body shots!
You would think these women
were in the desert for 12 days
the way they are thirsty
right now.
[party cheering]
[Hannah] I'm having
the best time of my life,
'cause Marciano doesn't exist
right now.
I feel like I can do
whatever the [bleep] I want.
I can break the rules.
I don't have him
chirping in my ear.
I feel like Andre has this
quiet confidence
that I'm attracted to.
Lord knows I'm [bleep] horny.
Like, physically,
it's so, so good.
What's the matter?
Like, I can't see clear who,
like, actually, like, likes me.
When Hannah came at me
You're acting like
a fake-ass bitch.
About the way I sat
next to Marciano, it hurt me.
I don't wanna live in a
uncomfortable situation.
[Hannah] She told Lisa Vanderpump like,
"I know who I'm friends with"?
I heard her say it! I'm not about to
sit here and let you low-key dog me.
I think Priscila's fake.
I can't believe she told Lisa
bullshit about me and Telly.
[Lisa] You're all going
to Carcassonne for dinner.
There's a lot of bullshit,
I don't [bleep] with that.
I'm [bleep] done with Grace,
we had her [bleep] back.
Emily, we've been nothing
but [bleep] nice to her.
Come out, come [bleep]
confront me.
Come!
It's very exhausting.
I feel like nobody knew
how hard this could be.
[Intriguing theme
music playing]
♪♪
["Gang" by Anoraak & Sarah
Maison playing]
[Hannah]
I'm tired.
[Andre]
My head hurts.
[in gruff voice] Lisa!
[Telly]
It's so weird.
I think last night was bullshit,
feel like it was a gang up.
[Emily]
You used the word ugly.
You said Toucan Sam,
you said beak.
Wait, wait, I don't even know
- what Toucan Sam is!
- You're being mean.
[Hannah] I don't think it's fair,
and if any of these other girls
were ganged up like how
Telly and I were,
they would not be able
to handle it.
[Telly] I'm speaking so
they can hear me,
because at the end
of the day, I don't whisper.
If you can dish it you better
be able to [bleep] take it.
I'm just staying to myself,
keeping quiet,
so just say the hell
outta my way.
We did nothing wrong.
[Awkward music playing]
Last night, it was a shit storm.
Fake-ass bitches.
I'm done with Priscila's
fake ass.
I'm [bleep] done with Grace.
Emily, we've been nothing
but [bleep] nice to her.
[Eric] Since my divorce,
I've learned a crucial lesson.
Sometimes, it's best to just
walk away from arguments,
and that's exactly what I do.
Just relax, be with my animals,
'cause animals are
really my peace of mind.
[sheep bleats]
And they provide emotional
support, mental support.
If you're having a bad day,
squeeze a sheep.
[sheep bleats]
You're gonna be happy
after that.
Sometimes I just want
to be a sheep.
[crunching apple]
I'm gonna love this guy
till the day I die.
I'm probably taking him
back home when I'm done.
- Gonna be a great day.
- [sheep bleats]
- [crunching leaves]
- [Eric] Exactly.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Hannah] She hasn't said
one [bleep] word.
- Because they're scared.
- [both laugh]
So I wake up this morning
still [bleep] pissed.
What I can't respect is
someone stirring the pot
and being passive aggressive
and priding themselves
on being real.
- [door opens]
- So, if you have an issue
Hey.
Priscila, there's
nothing to say?
I'm actually just mind-blown,
the guests are arriving soon.
Like, how fun's that gonna be?
Let's all just live in tension,
and let's all just live around each other
and not like one another,
and just keep giving dirty looks.
Cool.
[Telly laughing]
After last night,
don't you guys think,
maybe we should have
a normal conversation?
No, it needs to be this
passive aggressive thing.
- [Intense music playing]
- I thought I was intense,
but, like, here it's,
like an extra 100.
You feel everything even, even,
even more intense. [laughs]
I really miss home.
I have friends back
home that will, like,
open me with big arms,
but here it's like
culture shock.
I don't know if it's
my thing anymore.
Lesson learned, I can't
be friends with everyone.
You guys are my real friends,
so thank you.
Me, Grace and Priscila,
the three of us, we have a bond.
We've been in the same room
together since day one.
Hopefully we can all
get through this together
and come out better,
but it's apparent that
Pri is kind of pulling away
and she's just not
herself anymore.
[Curious music playing]
[Telly] I'm very nervous
about the meeting with Lisa,
and it's, like,
extremely awkward
when you have to stand beside
somebody that you don't like,
and you have to, like,
put a smile on your face.
I don't know what's happening,
but this meeting's
gonna be crazy.
- I know.
- [chuckles]
- Just be stronger than it. Don't
- I am, what do you mean?
It's like, woe is me.
- [door opens]
- [Lisa] Can somebody get me Priscila?
I was hoping that dinner
would've been a good thing,
but with Priscila it
was a case of her
almost thinking,
"I can't handle this,"
and I don't want that
for anybody.
- Hi.
- Hey, darling. Come in.
- Come in?
- Yeah, close the door.
- How are you?
- Sit down.
Yeah, I'm okay,
but I'm worried about you.
Okay.
Have I a right to be concerned?
- You have.
- [solemn music playing]
I tried my best yesterday
to be happy and be myself,
the sparkly girl, but this
is harder than I thought.
♪♪
I want Priscila to really
speak to me from the heart,
because this experience
is a delicate one
and sometimes I think
you really need somebody
to look you in the eyes and
ask you that direct question.
If you've decided you think
it's best for you to walk away,
[whispers] I'm fine with that.
♪♪
[Priscila] I'm sorry to
disappoint you.
You have not disappointed
me at all.
[crying] You picked me
and I-I disappointed you.
You have not! In fact,
it actually makes me love you more.
I've walked away from situations
when I haven't been
happy either.
And you know what,
I never regretted it.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm actually really proud of you,
and I promise you this,
if you want a job anywhere,
I would be more than
happy to have you.
Onwards and upwards.
You are going to be fine.
This is such an amazing
opportunity.
But sometimes in life,
you need to walk away.
Knowing what is best
for me is growth,
I'm ready to move on.
- [Upbeat music playing]
- I hope you guys see more and more of me
in different circumstances,
a happy Priscila.
♪♪
[blows kisses, giggles]
[Dramatic music playing]
[Lisa] Priscila leaving,
I think it's for the best.
This is an incredibly intense,
immersive experience.
This chateau is an experiment,
and so far I'm liking it,
but I want to make sure
all of my staff
are on the same page as me.
I'm not saying this
is a competition like
"Survival of the Fittest,"
but everybody is gonna
have to pick up the slack,
that's all there is to it.
Otherwise, they don't really
have a place here.
- [Dramatic crescendo]
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
You know how punctual I am,
but I've got a lot going on.
Um
Priscila's leaving.
[Dramatic, melancholy
music playing]
It's between her and me.
♪♪
[Emily]
I know how Pri feels,
because I have been feeling
the same way about
This is too much.
[exhales sharply]
It just hurts my heart
so much, like,
what more could
I have done or said
to make her feel okay to stay?
I'm not gonna hold this
staff meeting.
Stephen, I want you
to do that for me.
[Curious music playing]
So now we're down a server
and I need to focus
on what I'm going to do.
So, I need somebody that
knows how to deliver,
somebody I can rely on.
That's not Eric.
Everybody's gonna be operating,
has a role and a task.
- Am I interrupting?
- But, no-no more fun and games.
This is for real, okay?
- And you will see the nasty side come out.
- [Lisa] What?
Eric likes to go
above and beyond,
but most of the time,
it seems that he goes beyond.
- [Gabriella] Wait. No, no, no.
- [Eric] That's way better.
- I want to know who's changing my plans.
- Eric.
[Lisa]
I trust Stephen implicitly.
He's responsible for the events.
He's the most reliable
person in the Chateau,
apart from me, of course.
Best foot forward, right?
Yes, Lisa.
It's important.
Guests are coming.
[Thrilling music playing]
What the [bleep]?
Our guests are about to arrive,
Priscila just left.
And also,
it's a very weird feeling
to have somebody replace you.
It's chaos in here!
[Dramatic crescendo]
[Upbeat music playing]
Best foot forward, right?
[Marciano] Yes, Lisa.
[Hanna] I mean,
I guess Stephen is in charge,
and Priscila's gone.
I don't really care.
[laughs]
I don't know.
It's not my fault,
plus one less girl here
is one less person
Marciano with flirt with.
So, bye.
[Marciano] I don't give a shit.
I'm cool with it.
Uh, it should have been you,
so you can stop.
[Emily] What the [bleep]
is your problem?
How do you just not care?
Pri was part of, like,
our whole team.
Hannah brings so much
bullshit to the Chateau.
I don't want to dislike
people on my team,
but it's like, how can I not?
[Lisa]
Okay, it's all in there.
- [Stephen] Okay.
- [Lisa] Go through it.
Everybody's gotta put
their best foot forward.
The most important thing
are the guests.
Chateau Rosabelle,
united we stand,
divided we [bleep] fall.
Heard.
I'm glad that Lisa trusts me,
and I hope she realizes
that Eric has no idea what he's
talking about most of the time.
[laughs]
Alright, are we ready
to go through this?
[Eric]
Let's go, baby.
- [Marciano] Yeah, let's do it.
- Awesome.
[Eric] Stephen always wanted
to take this position
that I have here at the Chateau
as the manager.
I don't think he could do it.
You can try, but you're not gonna do
as good as me, I'm sorry.
Everything you can think of, I'm gonna
be the guy that makes sure
that this gets executed
correctly.
[Dramatic sting]
I've opened up restaurants
for Lisa,
I know exactly what she
wants, detail by detail.
Eric seems a little annoyed,
but there's no one better
for the job than me.
Right now,
all I need to focus on
is getting this guest experience
to come together and be perfect.
So doing what I can
to make sure that our team
comes together and
makes it happen.
We've got Sara here.
- [Upbeat music playing]
- She's our guest of honor,
she's celebrating
new beginnings.
Sara is actually looking
to reinvent herself.
She's finalizing the divorce
from her ex-husband.
She just wants to celebrate
this new beginning in her life.
We've got the Up in Flames
Night Cap bonfire.
She's bringing her
wedding dress,
and all the bridesmaids dresses.
Wait, what?
- Flames to the past.
- [laughter]
- I love that.
- No way.
- [Dramatic music playing]
- There is the divorce party?
Come on!
My divorce was the
worst experience
I've ever had in my life
and today is not the
right moment for this.
This is bullshit.
Last night was a little chaotic,
but right now what we
need to focus on is
making LVP's vision
come to life,
because we don't have
any room for error.
[Gabriella]
I am ecstatic for Stephen.
I think he could definitely
be the Chateau Manager,
because Eric's kind of a ditz.
Cool? Let's do it.
[Upbeat music playing]
I'm not dealing with Emily and
Grace and all of them.
I should have spent
that time into Pri.
[Gabriella]
We still have each other.
Yeah, but if anyone says
any sort of slick shit
about Priscila,
I'm telling you guys right now,
you don't wanna see me.
[chuckles]
- [Plucky music playing]
- [Caroline] How you feeling?
Feeling good,
I'm enjoying every second.
Eric and I actually
shared the same experience.
My divorce wasn't
It wasn't a positive divorce.
It's nice to be able to see the
perspective of someone else,
but also, I had a little moment
with Eric, a little kiss.
He's interesting.
Let's see.
Dot, dot, dot.
Letting go of somebody you love
is probably the hardest
decision in the world.
- [Solemn music playing]
- My marriage was
a beautiful painted picture,
but unfortunately,
once we started to
have different opinions
and views,
it was the worst experience
in my life.
I said some things that
I didn't mean to say,
and I wish I could
go back in time
and make things better.
I tried every single day,
every single second,
to get this woman back,
even though she hated me.
I'm the same way,
I wanna make sure
I give everything in my power,
but I had to move on also.
♪♪
It was traumatic,
it definitely changed
the course of my life.
It's a good reminder
of why I'm here,
why I've met Lisa,
and it's not easy
to talk about it but
- No.
- It's good.
♪♪
I have a lot on my plate,
alright?
I hate divorce parties,
and now I have to deal with
Stephen trying to take my job.
But Chef Caroline knows
how to calm me down.
She really reminds
me of a lioness,
her eyes cut through me
every single time I look at her.
I think she is an amazing,
beautiful woman.
[Caroline]
Thank you for sharing.
[Eric] But once you talk
about it, it feels so good.
It's like a massage for
your mind and soul.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Andre]
Where's the vodka?
[Lisa]
Everybody outside, come on.
Let's put the energy back
into this group.
It's sad that Priscila's gone,
and I'm sure people
will feel it,
but now we've gotta
get down to business.
We've got to move forward,
we have new guests coming.
Where's Andre?
- [Plucky music playing]
- Andre?
[toilet flushes]
[Andre] Sorry, had to
give my dogs a leash.
♪♪
- You had to what?
- Nothin'.
M-My dog.
What dog?
♪♪
[Lisa]
I haven't got time for this.
They're gonna be here
in a few minutes.
Smile, pretend you all know
exactly what you're doing.
[overlapping hellos]
I'm Sara, and I'm here right now
to celebrate my divorce.
- Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.
- [applause]
I'm here with my best friends.
I want it to be just
kind of, like,
a celebration for all of us
and the start of my new life.
- Beautiful!
- [Lisa] We love it here.
Let's come inside.
[groans] Hyah!
[Marciano] We don't
have a [bleep] elevator.
[Eric] We're gonna have to carry this
all the way up the stairs.
[Marciano]
You're out of your mind.
- [Eric] Let's try it.
- [Marciano] Hell, no.
I'm feeling today, a little off.
What does that mean?
I have to step things up.
I have to prove to Lisa
and everybody else
that I'm doing my job
as the Chateau Manager.
Watch a pro at work.
- [cases clatter]
- [Marciano] Oh, okay. Okay.
[Eric laughs]
[Lisa]
Oh, my God!
[Eric] Things happen, alright?
There we go.
- [Andre] Is that it?
- Yeah, I got it. I got it. I got it.
Composure, gentlemen,
it's all about composure.
I just can't with him,
I just [bleep] can't.
[Vibrant music playing]
- Catch?
- Trust me, trust me on that.
Missed it last time.
- [Anthony] I got you.
- I don't trust you.
[Lisa] I trust Chef.
[Gabriella giggles]
[Lisa]
I'm looking at Gabriella,
and she's got this kind of
giggly, nervous excitement.
What was the best part
of your night then?
The view. [giggles]
If ever I'm looking like that,
it's because I'm getting some.
I have a feeling you had
a sweet night, with whom?
You know who, [giggles] Andre.
So is that why he's
so puffed up?
- [Gabriella] It seems like it, right?
- Yeah.
Whatever you did, keep doing it.
It's the touch, you know?
What are they talking about?
A little more information
that we need to know.
- [laughter]
- Stephen loves the details.
What?
[Gabriella] Stop!
[Lisa] Oh, because
you're sharing a room.
[Stephen] Luckily I take Ambien.
[laughter]
They're shagging in the bed.
Do they know
that the world
might be watching?
- [Gabriella giggles]
- [Lisa] As long as you've got
a smile on your face, darling.
This is certainly an
interesting story,
but I'd really like to
talk to the guest of honor,
and kind of have a moment
that feels much more personal.
[Upbeat elegant music playing]
- Sara!
- [Sara] Hi, Lisa.
- Hi, darling.
- [Sara] Hi.
[Lisa] Hope you're
not on a diet, look at it.
- [Sara] No, I'm not.
- [Lisa/Sara laugh]
[Lisa]
I think a toxic relationship
can be very
debilitating emotionally
on every aspect of your life.
And I'm thinking Hannah's here,
is there a parallel for
her and Marciano?
[Sara] When I was 25,
I met my ex-husband.
I would say for the last three years
before I actually left,
it was probably really tough.
It wasn't worth it for me
to say what I wanted,
because this man was going
to make me feel bad about it.
I know no marriage is perfect.
[Lisa] But you want somebody
that supports you,
that looks after your
best interests.
Exactly, I can't go back and
change anything that happened.
All I can do is just make
the best of what's coming.
- Exactly.
- And here I am.
- And here you are, exactly.
- [Sara laughs]
Hannah, did you learn anything
from our talk, darling?
I've learned a lot
from your talk,
and it resonates with me a lot.
- Just always be yourself.
- [Hannah] Mm-hmm.
And as soon as you feel like
there's a man who's making you
- not be yourself
- [Hannah] Mm-hmm.
It's not the right
person for you.
- [Lisa] Agreed.
- [Hannah] Mm-hmm.
Listening to Sara's
conversation,
she's talking about how
she lost her sparkle
during the relationship.
And I feel like with Marciano,
I did lose my sparkle.
I almost wanna, like, cry,
because it's really
hitting home.
I'm getting older, and I do
want a future with somebody
and I can't sit here
and waste my time
with somebody who's not
gonna take it seriously.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Stephen]
This is a divorcee party.
In honor of that, tonight
is the Blanc Slate Dinner,
which basically means
everybody's gonna be
in white like a bride would be.
And also, the whole
tablescape, all the florals,
every detail is also
gonna be white.
And it's not representative
of a bride,
it's representative
of a new beginning.
My biggest concern right now
is Eric and Marciano behaving.
We are here to make the
guest experience perfect.
It is not always about being
those naughty party boys.
Are you guys ready
for a good dinner?
- [guests] Yes.
- Yes? Alright.
[Anthony] Tonight we welcome you
with amuse-bouche.
It's gonna be Tuna Tartare.
♪♪
After that, we'll have Heirloom
Tomato Tarts.
[guest 1] Yum!
[Anthony] Main course is
gonna be some Langoustine
with butternut squash couscous,
and truffles and nuts.
- [guest 2] You're hot.
- [laughter]
Bon appetit. I will see
you after, okay?
[Sara] The most beautiful dinner
I've ever had in my life.
These are my people,
I feel like I'm so lucky.
Everything is really perfect.
What is my life right now?
This is incredible.
Everybody, we have a bit of
a ceremony and event for you.
[Poignant music playing]
This bonfire is gonna
be one to remember.
We're about to burn
bridesmaids dresses.
We've got her wedding dress,
and we've got photos of
her ex from Sara's wedding,
to really symbolize the
phoenix rising from the flames,
and a new beginning
starting for Sara.
[Gabriella] Sara, we just
wanna say we're so grateful
that you chose Chateau Rosabelle
to celebrate you,
and your strength and
your independence.
And we're just so happy
to have you.
- Here's to what's next guys!
- [group cheering]
[Eric] I'm usually the one
poppin' champagne.
But look, divorce parties suck,
but I'm trying my best.
I'm happy to commemorate
the end of my marriage
with my favorite people
in the world.
I'm not sad about it.
- Burn this dress!
- [guest 1] Yeah!
- [guest 2] Yeah!
- We're so proud of you.
[Dramatic music playing]
Every memory and moment
was important,
whether it was good or bad.
How are you gonna throw
it all up in flames?
This is so triggering.
[bleep] a divorce party.
- [group cheering]
- Done, done!
- [group clapping]
- [Sara laughs]
[Telly]
Eric is a [bleep] hot mess.
I think the memory
and the thought
of anything associated
with divorce
is kind of making him
come off as an asshole.
[Mischievous music playing]
Here, let me take a sip
of your champagne.
I'm divorced too, this sucks.
She ended up leaving me.
How would you feel, you know?
This is just, like,
emotional for me.
I wonder what he
feels if he knew
that this was
happening right now.
♪♪
[Andre] Eric is definitely
going through it today.
This sucks.
I literally just saw this,
I wanna [bleep] cry. [scoffs]
[Andre]
It is not looking good,
because Stephen has
finally gotten the keys.
The wind has been taken
out of Eric's sails,
and now the thought of
Eric leaving the Chateau
is nowhere near off the table.
- [fire crackles]
- [dramatic crescendo]
- [Light, playful music playing]
- [birds chirping]
- [Marciano] Boom.
- [Gabriella] I'm gonna hang this one over.
[Marciano] Let's do it.
Let's open those bags, too.
Tonight, for Sara's
marque event,
we are doing a Great
Gatsby Soirée,
but right now we are
making the pool, like,
a spa day for these women.
We have three tubs laid
out for their drinks.
A beautiful floral arrangement
throughout the whole entire tub.
And then another one
for them to dive into.
- [Sara] Hi.
- Sara, this one's for you.
The girls should feel
really relaxed
and have a wonderful time.
So, who needs a drink?
- Me.
- [Eric] Okay.
- [cork pops]
- [Marciano] Dude!
- [people gasp]
- There's champagne in there,
what did you expect that
was gonna happen?
I can't, I can't,
I need a break from Eric.
- [Eric] Sorry.
- [plucky music playing]
- I'm gonna have a bite. Wow. Mm!
- You can rate my hot honey pizza.
It has a kick to it.
- [Lisa] You made it?
- [Emily] Yeah!
It's very good.
Funny, I just told
Caroline out there,
I said, "I wanna
cook with you tonight."
So hopefully I can cook some.
Well, you might need to
help with service as well,
'cause we're one man down.
- Oh, I can do that.
- So, you might need to help.
- That's fine.
- Yeah?
I came in here knowing
I could do any job,
that's what I wanted
to prove to Lisa.
Hannah, if you need any help.
- [Hannah] Yeah.
- I'll be here.
♪♪
[groans]
[mouthful] Thank you.
[Emily] I am already getting these
bully vibes from Hannah,
but hopefully, helping
tonight leads to
me being in a more forward-facing position
in the future,
or at least that's my goal.
We'll We'll see.
- [Donut whines]
- [Lisa] Mm!
No, you can't eat it,
it's too hot for you.
[laughter]
[Mischievous music playing]
[guest 1] Is someone coming
to give me a massage?
- Call.
- [guest 2] I'll do it.
[phone rings]
[Anthony] [on phone]
La Chateau Rosabelle, bonjour.
[guest 2]
Megan would like a massage.
[Anthony] Okay, let me see
how we can take care of you.
[guest 2]
Okay, thank you.
- Marciano!
- [Marciano] Yeah?
[Anthony] I just got a phone call,
Megan want a massage.
No way. I have to do
everything I can
so I don't [bleep] up,
or Hannah doesn't kill me.
[Marciano]
I know you will.
[Eric]
Somebody wants a massage,
I'm not gonna rely on
my staff to do it.
I'm going to take the lead,
and I'm gonna get the job done.
[Mischievous music continues]
- [Music stops]
- [bottle clanks]
[Lisa] Somebody's asking
for a massage.
Eric's running upstairs.
- [Eric] You can face that way.
- [Megan] Okay, great.
[Eric] There we go,
this is gonna be a good one.
[Lisa] [groans]
Is he already in there?
We don't offer a massage
service here.
- [crunching]
- [Megan] Oh, yeah!
- [Mischievous music playing]
- [Lisa] Oh God. Why would he
[Gabriella] Should I just
tell him I need him?
- [Megan] Oh, my God.
- [Eric] Is it too tough?
[Megan]
No, I can take it.
- Oh, my God. [moans]
- I hear them now. Down.
- [Eric] See?
- [Megan] Yeah. Oh.
[gasps] Oh, my God!
- Ohh!
- [Gabriella] Ooh!
[Megan]
It's just all so good.
[Lisa] First of all, we don't
have a spa,
so giving a guest a
private massage?
Mm, I don't think so.
- [Megan moans]
- It sounds a little sexual.
[Eric/Sara laugh]
[Lisa]
Eric, what the hell?
If the guests are to say
anything negative
about this experience,
that's not good for business.
[Megan] Ooh!
You don't, like, don't
make these noises
when we get couples massage.
[Lisa] I need to tell Eric
to back off,
and maybe just take
a chill pill,
or take the whole bottle.
You don't need to tip me,
darling, don't worry.
- [Megan] Oh, thank you, Eric.
- [Eric] Alright, you're welcome.
♪♪
- [Lisa] Eric?
- Yes?
So, what kind of service
are we offering here?
I mean, when I say
give them what they want,
I mean like, you know,
a pineapple upside down cake,
or a spicy margarita.
I mean, what happens if they
asked for a colonoscopy?
Or-Or, would you give them that?
- [Eric] That's not gonna happen, though.
- What about a pap smear,
would you give them that?
Sometimes with Eric,
I get so frustrated.
What happens if somebody
wants a shag?
- [Eric] No.
- I'll be pulling his leash
a little tighter tomorrow.
[Dramatic music playing]
[Eric] God damn,
I can't do anything right.
I feel like, maybe I
should just go home.
[Dramatic sting]
[Upbeat music playing]
If you know Gatsby, you know
there's gonna be details.
So, we need to start
getting it all together.
It's all hands on deck,
and Emily is serving tonight
to help me get through
this event and
make sure it's perfect.
[Anthony]
There you go. Close it.
- [Anthony coughs]
- Okay?
- [Hannah] Emily?
- [Emily] Yes.
- [plucky music playing]
- [Hannah] I'm still upset with her
for making that passive aggressive
toast at dinner.
There's a lot of bullshit
when you're making fun
of appearances and shit.
I don't [bleep] with that.
If you have an issue with
someone, just say it.
- Emily, who's making fun of appearances?
- [Eric] Hey, if anybody
Rude, like who cares?
But without Priscila,
we need her to help
us out server-wise.
I think she works hard,
so we'll see how that goes.
What's gonna happen
is we're gonna drop
the main course
on top of the main plate
- that's on the charger plate.
- [Emily] Okay, so it's the charger plate
and then three plates?
- [Hannah] Mm-hmm.
- And then just remove them
- Yeah, it's pretty easy.
- [Emily] Yeah.
I don't trust Hannah,
but I'm very excited and happy
that I'm not stuck in the back.
Tonight, I want to prove to Lisa
that I'm a great worker.
I just hope I don't mess up.
That would be so Not good.
And then are we just
doing it, like,
I'll follow your lead
around the table?
- Yeah.
- Are you starting on one side and
- We can valet it.
- Okay.
- Just, like, yeah, you can follow my lead.
- Sounds good.
[1920s jazzy big band
music playing]
[guest] Ooh, those look
different and delicious.
♪♪
A lot of thought goes
into the marquee event.
I want it to be very
specially curated.
Color palette is black,
gold, white.
I've got a gold dress.
I like the staff to
get involved too.
[Marciano]
Loose as shit.
[Hannah] And why is
your penis over here?
I'm trying to [bleep] keep it
underneath my, like, butthole.
So, it looks like we've
all made this effort
- for this very bespoke dinner.
- [camera clicks]
[Marciano]
Way to go, Chef. [laughs]
[Hannah] Oh, wait,
you didn't wanna get in?
[Light, upbeat music playing]
[Megan] Oh, my God,
these lights are adorable.
- [Sara] It's so beautiful.
- [guest] Obsessed!
- [Eric] Welcome, everyone.
- [Hannah] Welcome.
This is amazing.
Stephen wants my job,
and right now, that's
exactly what he's doing.
But guess what, I don't think
he can do it as good as me.
So I want everybody to
see exactly how he does,
and then they will know
that I am irreplaceable.
Alright, anywhere
you'd like, ladies.
It's been an eventful few days
without having Priscila.
Emily is helping serve, which
I hope goes to perfection,
and Eric is unstable right now,
but I'm not thinking
about Eric at all.
I just hope that our team
can work together
and get through this event.
We'll see.
Welcome to the
Great Gatsby Soirée.
- Salud!
- [guests] Salud!
- [glasses clink]
- [laughter]
Tonight we'll have, like,
to start an amuse-bouche
is gonna be some pork belly with
sweet potato, ginger puree,
- and chimichurri.
- [guest 1] Oh shoot!
- [guest 2] It's a great bite.
- [Sara] Oh, my God.
[Anthony] After that
we have fresh asparagus,
- Parmesan and olive mayonnaise.
- [guest] This is good.
[Anthony] Filet mignon de boeuf
with mini ratatouille
and smashed potato.
- [Megan] Mm, this is so good.
- [Hannah] Enjoy.
[Anthony] And we finish with
a mille-feuille with vanilla cream.
[guest]
It's so good.
[Emily]
Hi, it's good.
[Hannah]
You did good.
I'm that type of girl that,
you know,
I'm genuinely not ready to even
look at you,
speak to you, anything.
But then we start our shift,
and, like, I'm totally fine.
And right now I'm seeing
Emily blossom in a way
which is intimidating.
We all need to watch out.
[Sara] Cheers to an amazing
few days at this villa,
to the amazing staff.
- [all] Cheers.
- [glasses clink]
[Upbeat music playing]
The dinner last night,
absolute perfection,
but the entire experience
felt messy.
So I'm gonna have to
straighten things out.
I know you've got an
early departure.
I loved having you, and I
hope you enjoyed your stay.
So I'm gonna wave you off.
Meeting the queen of
the hospitality industry
was a surreal feeling.
[guests] Bye, Lisa!
Everything has
just been so great
since I've decided
to put myself first.
Look out world, whatever
I do next
- is gonna blow your mind.
- [curious music playing]
- [Lisa] Good morning.
- [staff] Good morning, Lisa.
The last set of guests
just left,
but we have to get ready
for these new guests coming in,
and I'm ready to just
get my job back on track.
Full steam ahead.
We can all breathe.
You've all done such a good job
supporting each other,
stepping up.
However, this is one thing
that I wanted to
address off the top.
[Tense sting]
Eric, the way you
handled things.
Burn this dress!
Here, let me take a sip
of your [bleep] champagne.
Cheers for you, alright?
[Megan]
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God! Oh yeah.
[Eric/Sara laugh]
[Lisa] You do not interact
with the guests like that.
It doesn't matter
for what reason.
After having been in
the hospitality business
for me for so many years,
for you to do something
like that is unacceptable.
I cannot afford to have
that happen again.
[Dramatic music playing]
This is why I keep saying he shouldn't
be called the manager.
And now Lisa Vanderpump's
basically saying,
"I see the exact same thing."
So I'm gonna keep you
supremely busy
doing the job that
you should be doing,
and that is managing
the Chateau, fixing things.
I've got an endless
list of things,
but not interacting with
the guests like that.
- Do we understand each other?
- Yes.
I'm the guy that loves to get
the Chateau up and running.
My middle frickin' name
is champagne poppin',
don't stoppin' till my [bleep]
pants are droppin', girl.
Let's see what happens
without me to make sure
that the guests have
a great time.
[Lisa] It's been a lot, I know,
with one man down,
but everybody, we managed
to hold it together.
Emily did a really,
really good job.
But I know that the
Chateau needs 12 of you.
So we are going to welcome
our new staff member.
- Wow!
- Just sit tight.
I'm actually extremely
confused right now
why we're bringing
in a new employee.
It was a nice change of pace
to stop doing more of
the back of house work
and to be more forward-facing.
So, if this is a server,
I will feel disappointment
that it wasn't me.
- [speaker] I made it. Oh!
- Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.
[Suspenseful music playing]
[Telly]
Just be cool.
[Lisa] There's 11 people
that are waiting to meet you.
[Andre]
Tensions are rising.
- Testa is it test-test-test
- [music distorts]
- Testoster [sighs]
- [music stops]
I think it's testosterone.
Hormones, everything is
just rising basically.
- [Telly] [whispers] Oh, it's a girl.
- [whispers] It's a girl.
- [Suspenseful music playing]
- [Telly] Oh God!
- So everybody, this is Nikki.
- [overlapping hellos]
[Curious music playing]
[Eric]
Initial thoughts on Nikki:
Wow, oh man.
♪♪
[Mischievous music playing]
[Marciano] Nikki, she looks
like she's gonna be
a lot of trouble
in the house for a
Not just myself,
for a few others as well.
[Lisa] Nikki's got a lot of
experience as a server,
and she's gonna be joining us.
I'm excited to be here.
I'm here to be a server at
Chateau Rosavell What is it?
[chuckles] Um
I've spent the last
10 years of my life
being a fine dining server
at some of the most exclusive
restaurants all over the world,
from Hawaii to Australia.
And I am very used to
dealing with the richest,
but the worst people
in the world to serve.
That is my target market.
[laughs]
I definitely get bored easy.
After about six months
to a year in a place,
I basically have to move.
I don't know if I'm
chasing a new life,
but I want to provide the
best experience to the guests,
and I don't know,
maybe even find a husband.
And Andre's good looking.
[plucky music playing]
Ah [bleep]. Sorry.
I'm allow to say [bleep]
though, right?
[Lisa] I hope you'll
make her feel welcome,
and, you know,
part of the Rosabelle family.
- I'm Eric, nice to meet you.
- Eric, okay.
[Dramatic music playing]
- Marciano, nice to meet you.
- [Nikki] Marciano.
[Hannah]
Marciano's being really weird.
I feel like he knows her.
What the [bleep] is going on?
[Lisa]
Okay, thanks, all of you.
[Dramatic sting]
[Upbeat music playing]
[Marciano] Oh, yep,
there it is, good call.
Huh, okay.
- [Hannah] Marciano?
- [Marciano] Yes.
[Hannah]
Why are you being weird?
- [Marciano] Being weird?
- Yeah, you're, like, laughing and shit.
Nikki is the new server.
I feel kind of blindsided
that a new server came in.
I know Marciano, and I know
when he is up to something
and I feel like he
knows something,
or he [bleep] her.
I'm listening to my
gut right now.
- [Marciano] Laughing?
- Yeah, why are you laughing?
- [Marciano] I'm playing chess.
- [Hannah] Do you know her or something?
[Marciano]
No. Do you?
[Hannah] No. Do you think
she's pretty or something?
- Nope.
- [mischievous music playing]
Oh, my God. Nikki hasn't been
here longer than 10 minutes
and Hannah's already accusing me
of things that I haven't
done yet,
or done at all.
- [Hannah] Why are you laughing?
- [Marciano] I'm not.
[Hannah] You're, like, smirking.
You're, like, untrustworthy.
[Marciano] Oh gosh, Hannah.
Okay, I didn't do anything.
Hannah and Marciano is like
I don't know,
feeding the beast consistently.
Like, they're both the beast,
there is no beauty
in that situation.
You asked me some questions,
I said no.
And I don't know what else
you want me to say.
Nikki looks like a few girls
that I have been
with in my life.
[Nikki/Lisa laugh]
I look guilty, but I've
never seen her before.
I swear to God,
I've never seen her before.
I thought she looked familiar,
and I was like [groans]
But no.
[Hannah] Okay,
I don't really care. I mean
[Marciano] No, you don't care,
but you just ask me. Okay.
- Okay. [bleep] weird.
- [Marciano] You just [bleep] up my flow.
You're [bleep] weird.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Emily] It's fun getting a new person,
she's really sweet.
- She's really, really sweet. Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, you can tell.
I'm a little sad,
just 'cause it kind
of felt like I was gonna be
Pri's replacement as a server.
But that has nothing
to do with Nikki,
so I'm not gonna
put any blame on her.
[Caroline]
I love having new people,
- welcoming them
- [Grace/Emily] Yeah.
And making sure she has all
she needs to succeed, you know?
[Emily] Yeah.
[Dramatic music playing]
- [Marciano] Hey Han.
- What's up?
Nothing. What are you up to?
- [Hannah] Nothing, walking.
- Okay.
- [Tense music playing]
- [Andre] Whoops.
I don't know why
they're acting so weird.
[Marciano] I feel like maybe
some of 'em are just a little upset
that they just replaced Priscila
so quickly maybe.
Nikki's fine as hell. I'm sorry.
And Marciano, every time
he breaks up with Hannah,
this is who he goes for,
a girl like Nikki.
And Hannah knows it.
So, I am very curious to see
how this is gonna play out.
Matter of fact,
to be honest with you,
if Gabriella wasn't here,
then I would've definitely
had some type of fling
or thing with Nikki.
[laughs]
[Marciano] [chuckles]
I'm not gonna say shit.
I could say she [bleep] has a
nice pimple, not gonna go well.
[Andre laughs]
[Marciano]
You know what I'm gonna do, too?
I'm actually gonna haze her,
and say I really and,
like, really be, like,
"I wish Emily was the server.
We should have brought
in a housekeeper."
I'm gonna fight on that one,
I think.
[Andre] Smartest thing
I've ever heard you say.
I think it's the only way.
What's her name, Nicolette?
- Nikki.
- Nikki.
[Eric] [bleep].
- [Andre] Damn.
- [Marciano] I like that name.
[Eric] I know!
She seems like a nice girl.
I will warmly welcome her.
I will definitely take
that opportunity.
[Andre/Eric laugh]
[Upbeat music playing]
[Nikki] It's definitely
difficult being the new girl,
but this place is amazing.
So, I want to do the best
I can to integrate myself
and try to show my personality.
Should we give him a time limit,
'cause chess is boring? [laughs]
Facts.
Nikki talks a lot,
so I'm already
kind of [bleep] annoyed
with her.
So just make sure you're winning,
and we'll cheer for you.
- [Marciano] Sounds good.
- [Nikki chuckles]
[Thrilling music playing]
[Eric] I've already had
two energy drinks.
Well, then maybe
you don't need this one.
- Yeah, I don't think you need anymore.
- I'm full of energy.
Tonight's gonna be just,
like, fun and chill,
and it feels really nice
to be able to actually
start, like,
building an even stronger
connection with Nikki.
[Nikki] Like, if I was in,
I would absolutely
be apprehensive
of anyone new coming in,
but it is what it is.
- It didn't affect me at all.
- [Stephen] You gotta get to know us.
- [Nikki] It didn't affect you at all?
- Couldn't have cared less.
- [Nikki] Really?
- [Stephen] Oh!
[Nikki]
Are you happy that I'm here?
- No.
- [Nikki] Why not?
[Tense music playing]
[Nikki] But why not?
My lead of my team!
I'm not saying I dislike you,
I-I don't know you.
[Nikki] I don't think that
you are gonna dislike me.
Marciano, he's
a good-looking guy,
except for he's an asshole.
I think he's just nervous
he's gonna start flirting
with me too much
and his, his Miss Ex
or current, Hannah,
is going to flip out on him.
I think I'm gonna make it very
difficult for you to dislike me.
I'm very curious as to know what you mean
with that, but okay.
Chateau Rosabelle is
a very unique situation,
because all of the staff
have been able to
really kind of get to
know each other.
And now I'm coming in
and they don't want me,
they don't think they need me,
or they just don't wanna
put in the time and effort
to even care about me.
[Marciano] I support Lisa and
if this is what Lisa wanted,
I'm not gonna go against Lisa.
[Nikki]
Okay, that's perfect.
That's the closure
I think I needed.
[Marciano] I'm not sure if Nikki has
a lot of ulterior motives.
So, my plan is to honestly
pretend like she does not exist.
So, then it feels like
I have nothing to do
with her whatsoever.
It is what it is,
I respect you and I'm happy that you're
gonna be the lead.
[Dramatic music playing]
[Hannah] Even though
at the moment
I'm not vibing with Nikki,
I heard Marciano make
a rude remark to her.
She has no other ally
in this house,
and yeah, it's a lot
on somebody.
So, I wanna see if
she can let it go,
move on and we can
all work together.
[Nikki] I was expecting
almost everyone
to just be happy to have me.
And so, then when there
was any tension,
I was just a little bit
shellshocked.
Like, why do you still
care about it?
Like, let it go, it's done,
like, you know, who cares?
[Nikki] It's my first day and
this was the one issue
that happened.
- I don't understand
- [Hannah] You keep bringing it up, so
- I'm just trying to make sure you're good.
- I'm not keep bringing it up.
He has made me feel not
welcomed in the moment.
I said to him, to his [bleep] face,
I said
I don't know why you're getting loud.
I'm just trying to talk to
Okay, because I'm getting loud
because you're literally
[bleep] coming at me.
[Hannah] Two minutes in,
and I was like,
"Dude, let's just end
the conversation."
Like, Nikki talks in circles
and I'm getting frustrated.
- Nikki needs to let this go.
- You're literally saying,
"You're doing this,
you're doing this."
Okay, well
I don't think that I
'Cause I'm not understanding it.
[Marciano] Hannah, I'm asking you
right now, please just let it go, please.
Let it go. I'm telling you,
I'm asking you, please let it go.
[Nikki] This is like,
what happened today,
as I'm talking about,
like, what happened.
Okay. I'm just I'm sorry.
[Nikki] I think that
we're just having confusion.
I don't think it's confusion,
I was just trying to understand you.
I'm literally so confused
what I did wrong.
[Hannah]
I'm trying to help her,
but she's pushing me
over the edge right now.
She keeps talking about
the same [bleep] thing,
and she just wants to be
the center of attention.
I was upset when he said
that I wasn't welcomed.
I'm confused why that's
weird for you.
[Hannah] Because Yeah, but you
said you were good with it.
[Nikki]
What are you talking about?
When you're having an
argument with Hannah,
it's like having your arms
tied behind your back
and you're just bashing
your head into a wall.
[Hannah]
You literally lie.
[bleep] liar.
Marciano, screw you too.
[Nikki crying]
[Hannah] Who the
[bleep] cries on
their first day? [bleep]
- [Marciano] [whispers] What the hell?
- [Nikki crying]
- [Hannah] Guys.
- [Grace/Telly] What?
[Hannah]
I just made the new girl cry.
I'm just really just trying
to understand the girl.
[Nikki sobs]
Marciano sticks up for her.
[sobbing]
She's batshit crazy, she's crying.
What are you crying about?
Nikki walks in and, Hannah,
first thing she smells is
blood.
She's starting early, guys.
[sobbing]
[Nikki]
I literally am jet-lagged,
and I just flew across
the world to be here.
So it's like, okay, I'm sorry
if I'm a little bit more
emotional than you guys,
but it's, like, to
immediately be ambushed,
you started calling me a liar
and said that I'm just
a [bleep] bitch for lying.
I never called you a
[bleep] bitch, that is lie.
[Nikki] I'm a crazy liar.
You just said I called
you a [bleep] bitch.
- I never said that.
- [Nikki] Okay, you said
- I said I never called you
- [Nikki]that I'm a liar.
That I'm causing drama,
that I am making up words,
- that I'm making up things.
- [Hannah] Marciano, did I ever say
[Marciano]
I can't remember, I don't know.
I'm not gonna get involved
in any of this bullshit.
I'm still trying to even see
if I can redeem myself to Lisa.
So I don't even wanna risk
getting in any [bleep] trouble.
[Hannah] You want me
to be a [bleep] bitch?
I'll be a [bleep]
bitch right now.
I see Hannah bully everybody,
cursing everybody,
yell at everybody.
Enough is enough, Hannah,
I'm tired of it.
I'm gonna go to bed,
because I'm here to do a job,
and not just do this, so
[Andre] What?
Are you frustrated because
you can't keep your
insecurities in check?
♪♪
[Nikki cries]
[bleep] this.
[Dramatic music playing]
- [Marciano] Hannah.
- [Hannah] What?
- [Marciano] We need to talk.
- [Hannah] You think I care?
Really, you wanna
come down on me?
That was That was Stop!
[Marciano] Stay right there, no.
[Marciano]
Not going out there yet.
[Marciano] Stay right there,
don't you dare go out there again.
Am I dreaming?
I have no idea what's
going on in this place.
[Nikki cries]
[Emily]
Nikki's in my room crying.
Hannah and Marciano,
they're fighting.
- [Hannah] You're crazy.
- [Marciano] Okay.
Bringing the whole house
into their shit.
[Marciano] What the [bleep]
did I do to you?
[punches door]
[Marciano]
Holy shit, psychopath.
- [bleep]
- [dramatic music playing]
[sighs]
It's [bleep] ridiculous, dude.
[Dramatic crescendo]
[Nikki cries]
[Lisa]
Next, on Vanderpump Villa
We have guest of honor Michelle.
Poor thing, she's gonna be
30 years old,
I've got underwear
older than that.
[all laugh]
[Lisa] I'm gonna need
somebody to check them in.
Stephen, that's gonna be you.
Stephen, good luck,
my job is harder than it looks.
[Stephen] [retches] I just threw
everything I've eaten today up.
I think part of it is,
like, the nerves.
Stephen's always in his
own head questioning himself.
You know, we all make mistakes.
Look how many Hannah's made.
The entire Chateau is waking up
- from Hannah yelling.
- [Lisa] What?
[Nikki] She's saying she
doesn't wanna be here.
- What time are you leaving?
- What?
[Dramatic sting]
[Quirky music playing]
- [Marciano] What do you need?
- My sandals, they're gone.
People keep saying I rolled
down the hill,
that was not actually
a real story.
[Marciano]
When did you take them off?
Like, literally I had,
like, a drink at dinner
and then I was like, phew!
[laughs] I don't remember
- anything a
- Alright, I'm gonna do some digging.
I'll figure it out.
[whispers] Shit.
[bleep]
[Eric] No.
Is that one? No!
[Marciano]
Her shoes could be anywhere.
[Quirky music continues]
[guest]
Shoe-gate is no more.
- [Eric] Oh, the shoe?
- [Marciano] Why? Where are they?
Under your luggage?!
- You're cut off tonight.
- [laughter]
[Eric]
Now we've got work to do.
[Intriguing theme
music playing]
[Music fades out]