Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e07 Episode Script
The Little Guy
1 1x07 - "The Little Guy" What a view.
Emergency briefing! All watchdogs report to hall B.
Emergency briefing! Yes! Guys! Wake up! - Aw, come on, man.
- Shut up, Westley.
It's probably another drill.
This is not a drill! Guys! Come on! Is Moose up?! Somebody wake up Moose! Wake up, Moose! Good one, Moose.
Come on, guys.
Let's keep it moving.
Rank and file.
Let Uh, hey, does anybody have a stepstool? Okay, yeah, that's prob that's what I figured.
Watchdogs! Our sensors just detected two high-priority targets on a nearby planetoid! These two are number one and number two on lord Hater's "most hated" list.
They operate against everything lord Hater stands for all in the name of "having fun.
" Fun.
They're cunning, devious tricksters.
Shiftless, indolent, and they don't shower very often.
They are enemies of the Hater empire, and that makes them your enemies.
Enemies! And even though, technically, we are the bad guys, these two are the real bad guys! Bad guys! If we can stop these two, there will finally be no one to stop us from spreading fear and hate throughout the entire universe! Hate's great! Best villain! - Hate's great! Best villain! - Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Guys! Guys! Wow! Wander and Sylvia! Can you believe it? What an exciting day! Oh, man, what if I captured them? Can you imagine? I bet I'd get to meet lord Hater himself.
Yeah.
He'd probably give you a medal or somethin'.
A medal! My whole life would be complete.
Westley you're the best-ley it's the medal of evil Westley! Westley! Westley! Wow Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great.
Best villain.
- This is the life.
Huh, pal? - Sure is, although the weather looks to be changin' soon.
Watchdogs! Wait! Guys! Lord Hater! Medal! Boing boing? Wah-hoo! Hey, guys! Don't worry! I'm coming! Oh, boy.
Okay.
Here we go.
Hate's great! Best villain! Are you kidding me?! Of all the incompetent, bungling, inept, amateurish, bush-league troops in the universe! Wait! You forgot me.
Aw.
Look at him there, all sad and helpless.
- Can we keep him? Please? - What?! No way! Wander, that ain't some lost critter.
That is a watchdog, a trained killer, a Commander Peepers! Sir! This is private Westley reporting in! No.
N-not Leslie.
Westley, with a "W," as in "Wander.
" Anyway, you kind of, um, left me behind.
Could you come pick me up? No, sir.
I-I-I haven't captured Wander and Sylvia.
That's not the only reason you'd come back for me, right? Well, maybe because I'm a good soldier and you like me? So, uh, just to be totally clear, I should n-not be expecting a pickup? - What's the plan? - Just do what I do.
Oh, no! A watchdog! How dreadful! I hope he does not take us prisoner and then use us to make Hater come and rescue him.
That truly would be a dark day for Wander and Sylvia.
Okay! Reach for the sky! Commander Peepers, sir! Private Westley reporting in! Again! Westley.
We just talked, like, two minutes ago.
Never mind.
I'm happy to report that I've captured Wander and Sylvia.
No, I'm serious.
I did.
I totally did.
They're my prisoners and everything.
Floppy hat, big, goofy grin, and a dumpy, grumpy zbornak.
- "Dumpy"? - Poor little fella.
He'd never make it out here all by his lonesome, especially with the weather changing real soon.
Weather? What does weather have to do Boop.
Yes, sir.
I promise you I have them.
Thank you, sir.
Great.
I'll see you then.
Okay, prisoners.
We have to meet lord Hater's ship on the top of that mountain tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow? There?! He can't just fly to meet you right now? He's very busy with important appointments, okay? Otherwise, he totally would.
Now march! Look, Hater's coming to get him.
He'll be fine on his own for one day.
Let's just get out of here.
I said, "march"! I'm okay! I-I actually just seem to be stuck on the same branch! Just don't You're still my prisoners, okay?! I'll get the fishing pole.
Isn't this the most amazing of amazing days, Westley, old pal? I mean, look at this place! Look at that crazy guy and that thing all about.
Bet you don't get a chance to see this kind of thing - very much, do you, Wes? - Stop! Oh, would you look at that! Ya know, if we take that path over there, I bet we'd get to see some incredible things.
Could be a lot of fun I'm not here to have fun.
I'm here to capture my enemies, a couple of real bad guys, for lord Hater and also get a medal.
Besides, I don't need your nature-loving wisdom.
I have the knowledge of the Hater empire in my hands, and it says we go left.
Left.
Remind me why we have to watch out for this whack-a-doodle.
Hey, come on.
This isn't yours! Nice try, nature! Backup locator.
Hater regulation 85 always carry an extra backup.
This one has a handy wrist strap.
Out of the way! I'm not a doctor! Pulse pulsing.
Heart yearning.
Blood pressure 2,000 over 13.
Eye, beautiful.
Reflexes flexing.
Step aside.
This man needs C.
P.
R.
! Get off! I'm fine! I don't need your help.
I was just having fun, is all.
But if you ask me, you could use an attitude adjustment.
That's enough! Now March! We can't keep Hater waiting.
This way.
Aw.
My little bitty blaster.
Hey! Come on! Give it back! Come on, Westley! You can do it! Almost there, big guy.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, you're so close.
- Attaboy! - Yay! - Oh, good! You did it! - All right! - Yeah! - You did it! Aw.
You know, he's he's actually kinda cute when he's not We made it! Yes! Westley, we should probably stick to the trail.
Nope! Sorry! I've had enough of your so-called fun.
Huh? - Ya-hoo! - Huh? Cliff! Cliff! Cliff! Do that awesome jumpy thing.
- That'll stop him! - "Stop"? O-kay! Whoo! That was amazing! Hey, man, thanks for leading me to this river.
The old fire-mane was flaring up again.
Happens whenever I get to thinking about stuff that makes me all mad.
I just foom! Then I'm all "rah!" You know? That or when I have too much dairy.
Well, see ya.
Well how about that? Sometimes it turns out your enemy's not such a bad guy after all.
No! You think I can't tell what you're doing? You're just being nice to me because you want me to betray lord Hater.
He said you were cunning, devious tricksters, and he's right.
You are bad guys.
Well, tough bananas.
It's not gonna work.
"Tough bananas"? Westley, we're helping you 'cause you're our friend.
- We like you.
Right, Sylvia? - Huh? Oh, yeah! Yeah, you're a pretty okay guy, you know, when you're asleep.
Oh, sure.
Everybody's friends.
You're my friends.
That fire lion was my friend.
This giant cobra-bear is my friend.
- Not your friend.
- Uh-uh.
Thank goodness you discovered that cobra-bear's weakness.
I know I can't keep anything down when I'm being tickled.
Wha I don't Huh? I knew it.
They were just waiting until I was asleep so they could take my blaster and do who knows what kind of horrible things.
Ahh.
Oh.
Good.
So good.
Mmm.
You were right, buddy.
Weather's definitely changing.
Huh? - What a view.
- Yeah.
- Mornin', pal? - Mornin'.
This better be worth it, Peepers! I had a brunch today! I'm sorry, sir.
I just thought it was worth checking out.
If he doesn't show up with Wander and Sylvia in five seconds, we're leaving! Five Hater's awesome four Hater's awesome All right, little guy.
Enjoy your life of evil and nefariousness.
It's been a blast, but we are out of here.
Ya know, there's a view up ahead that's about a gazillion times nicer than this one.
Why don't you come with us? Two Hater is awesome! One Hater's awesome! I'm sorry, sir! I knew he wasn't watchdog material.
I should never have even sent him on this mission! No.
I'm not coming with you.
You're coming with me! Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley! Stupid, unpredictable weather.
Private Westley, today, you have made us all truly proud.
For your totally evil deed of capturing Wander and Sylvia, I am proud to present you the official Hater Medal of evil! It's the medal of evil you deserve No longer will Wander and Sylvia be free to spread their dangerous, fun-loving ways throughout the galaxy! Actually Hate's great.
Best villain.
Hate's great, best villain Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley you're the best-ley Lord Hater! Wake up! There's been an explosion on the prison level! What?! W-what happened? We're not sure.
I'm having the security footage from the past hour uploaded now.
Oh, yes, that's very good.
A locked cell.
Nothing unusual here.
What?! Wander and Sylvia escaped?! Sound the alarm! Oh, look, it's Westley! Get 'em, Westley! You got this, little guy! Yeah! Uh, blast 'em, Westley! Pew! Pew! Westley, no! Watch out! There's a bomb! No! Not Westley! I'm gonna I'm gonna need a moment with this.
Westley Today we honor our bad friend Westley.
We did not know him long.
three years.
We knew him several years.
And never before had a watchdog displayed such m-malice, such contempt such cruelty.
He single-handedly captured my most hated enemies.
We We may never know what happened to him.
But we will we will always know he truly wa a bad guy!!! Don't look at me! - You think we got away with it? - Well, we're still sitting here, aren't we? Of course it worked! I've been studying Hater's ship.
All his cameras will see is me getting sucked out into space trying to stop you guys.
I'll probably be remembered as a hero or something dumb like that.
Oh, Wander over yonder and check out this and that if you Wander over yonder best be sure to wear your hat all the thing that you will see and you certainly will be free if you Wander over yonder, just you and me Aah! if the darkness comes a-creepin' and you're feeling down just Wander over yonder and turn your life around oh, Wander over yonder be sure to lend a hand all your helpful friendly good deeds will spread across the land all your helpful, friendly good deeds will spread across the land dooddley doot da doot doot Whoo! Westley, you were the best-ley our number-one watchdog Westley, you were the best-ley our number-one watchdog There, there, sir.
We're all gonna miss Westley.
Huh?! I'm upset because Wander and Sylvia got away again! Who's Westley?!
Emergency briefing! All watchdogs report to hall B.
Emergency briefing! Yes! Guys! Wake up! - Aw, come on, man.
- Shut up, Westley.
It's probably another drill.
This is not a drill! Guys! Come on! Is Moose up?! Somebody wake up Moose! Wake up, Moose! Good one, Moose.
Come on, guys.
Let's keep it moving.
Rank and file.
Let Uh, hey, does anybody have a stepstool? Okay, yeah, that's prob that's what I figured.
Watchdogs! Our sensors just detected two high-priority targets on a nearby planetoid! These two are number one and number two on lord Hater's "most hated" list.
They operate against everything lord Hater stands for all in the name of "having fun.
" Fun.
They're cunning, devious tricksters.
Shiftless, indolent, and they don't shower very often.
They are enemies of the Hater empire, and that makes them your enemies.
Enemies! And even though, technically, we are the bad guys, these two are the real bad guys! Bad guys! If we can stop these two, there will finally be no one to stop us from spreading fear and hate throughout the entire universe! Hate's great! Best villain! - Hate's great! Best villain! - Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Guys! Guys! Wow! Wander and Sylvia! Can you believe it? What an exciting day! Oh, man, what if I captured them? Can you imagine? I bet I'd get to meet lord Hater himself.
Yeah.
He'd probably give you a medal or somethin'.
A medal! My whole life would be complete.
Westley you're the best-ley it's the medal of evil Westley! Westley! Westley! Wow Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great.
Best villain.
- This is the life.
Huh, pal? - Sure is, although the weather looks to be changin' soon.
Watchdogs! Wait! Guys! Lord Hater! Medal! Boing boing? Wah-hoo! Hey, guys! Don't worry! I'm coming! Oh, boy.
Okay.
Here we go.
Hate's great! Best villain! Are you kidding me?! Of all the incompetent, bungling, inept, amateurish, bush-league troops in the universe! Wait! You forgot me.
Aw.
Look at him there, all sad and helpless.
- Can we keep him? Please? - What?! No way! Wander, that ain't some lost critter.
That is a watchdog, a trained killer, a Commander Peepers! Sir! This is private Westley reporting in! No.
N-not Leslie.
Westley, with a "W," as in "Wander.
" Anyway, you kind of, um, left me behind.
Could you come pick me up? No, sir.
I-I-I haven't captured Wander and Sylvia.
That's not the only reason you'd come back for me, right? Well, maybe because I'm a good soldier and you like me? So, uh, just to be totally clear, I should n-not be expecting a pickup? - What's the plan? - Just do what I do.
Oh, no! A watchdog! How dreadful! I hope he does not take us prisoner and then use us to make Hater come and rescue him.
That truly would be a dark day for Wander and Sylvia.
Okay! Reach for the sky! Commander Peepers, sir! Private Westley reporting in! Again! Westley.
We just talked, like, two minutes ago.
Never mind.
I'm happy to report that I've captured Wander and Sylvia.
No, I'm serious.
I did.
I totally did.
They're my prisoners and everything.
Floppy hat, big, goofy grin, and a dumpy, grumpy zbornak.
- "Dumpy"? - Poor little fella.
He'd never make it out here all by his lonesome, especially with the weather changing real soon.
Weather? What does weather have to do Boop.
Yes, sir.
I promise you I have them.
Thank you, sir.
Great.
I'll see you then.
Okay, prisoners.
We have to meet lord Hater's ship on the top of that mountain tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow? There?! He can't just fly to meet you right now? He's very busy with important appointments, okay? Otherwise, he totally would.
Now march! Look, Hater's coming to get him.
He'll be fine on his own for one day.
Let's just get out of here.
I said, "march"! I'm okay! I-I actually just seem to be stuck on the same branch! Just don't You're still my prisoners, okay?! I'll get the fishing pole.
Isn't this the most amazing of amazing days, Westley, old pal? I mean, look at this place! Look at that crazy guy and that thing all about.
Bet you don't get a chance to see this kind of thing - very much, do you, Wes? - Stop! Oh, would you look at that! Ya know, if we take that path over there, I bet we'd get to see some incredible things.
Could be a lot of fun I'm not here to have fun.
I'm here to capture my enemies, a couple of real bad guys, for lord Hater and also get a medal.
Besides, I don't need your nature-loving wisdom.
I have the knowledge of the Hater empire in my hands, and it says we go left.
Left.
Remind me why we have to watch out for this whack-a-doodle.
Hey, come on.
This isn't yours! Nice try, nature! Backup locator.
Hater regulation 85 always carry an extra backup.
This one has a handy wrist strap.
Out of the way! I'm not a doctor! Pulse pulsing.
Heart yearning.
Blood pressure 2,000 over 13.
Eye, beautiful.
Reflexes flexing.
Step aside.
This man needs C.
P.
R.
! Get off! I'm fine! I don't need your help.
I was just having fun, is all.
But if you ask me, you could use an attitude adjustment.
That's enough! Now March! We can't keep Hater waiting.
This way.
Aw.
My little bitty blaster.
Hey! Come on! Give it back! Come on, Westley! You can do it! Almost there, big guy.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, you're so close.
- Attaboy! - Yay! - Oh, good! You did it! - All right! - Yeah! - You did it! Aw.
You know, he's he's actually kinda cute when he's not We made it! Yes! Westley, we should probably stick to the trail.
Nope! Sorry! I've had enough of your so-called fun.
Huh? - Ya-hoo! - Huh? Cliff! Cliff! Cliff! Do that awesome jumpy thing.
- That'll stop him! - "Stop"? O-kay! Whoo! That was amazing! Hey, man, thanks for leading me to this river.
The old fire-mane was flaring up again.
Happens whenever I get to thinking about stuff that makes me all mad.
I just foom! Then I'm all "rah!" You know? That or when I have too much dairy.
Well, see ya.
Well how about that? Sometimes it turns out your enemy's not such a bad guy after all.
No! You think I can't tell what you're doing? You're just being nice to me because you want me to betray lord Hater.
He said you were cunning, devious tricksters, and he's right.
You are bad guys.
Well, tough bananas.
It's not gonna work.
"Tough bananas"? Westley, we're helping you 'cause you're our friend.
- We like you.
Right, Sylvia? - Huh? Oh, yeah! Yeah, you're a pretty okay guy, you know, when you're asleep.
Oh, sure.
Everybody's friends.
You're my friends.
That fire lion was my friend.
This giant cobra-bear is my friend.
- Not your friend.
- Uh-uh.
Thank goodness you discovered that cobra-bear's weakness.
I know I can't keep anything down when I'm being tickled.
Wha I don't Huh? I knew it.
They were just waiting until I was asleep so they could take my blaster and do who knows what kind of horrible things.
Ahh.
Oh.
Good.
So good.
Mmm.
You were right, buddy.
Weather's definitely changing.
Huh? - What a view.
- Yeah.
- Mornin', pal? - Mornin'.
This better be worth it, Peepers! I had a brunch today! I'm sorry, sir.
I just thought it was worth checking out.
If he doesn't show up with Wander and Sylvia in five seconds, we're leaving! Five Hater's awesome four Hater's awesome All right, little guy.
Enjoy your life of evil and nefariousness.
It's been a blast, but we are out of here.
Ya know, there's a view up ahead that's about a gazillion times nicer than this one.
Why don't you come with us? Two Hater is awesome! One Hater's awesome! I'm sorry, sir! I knew he wasn't watchdog material.
I should never have even sent him on this mission! No.
I'm not coming with you.
You're coming with me! Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley! Stupid, unpredictable weather.
Private Westley, today, you have made us all truly proud.
For your totally evil deed of capturing Wander and Sylvia, I am proud to present you the official Hater Medal of evil! It's the medal of evil you deserve No longer will Wander and Sylvia be free to spread their dangerous, fun-loving ways throughout the galaxy! Actually Hate's great.
Best villain.
Hate's great, best villain Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley you're the best-ley Lord Hater! Wake up! There's been an explosion on the prison level! What?! W-what happened? We're not sure.
I'm having the security footage from the past hour uploaded now.
Oh, yes, that's very good.
A locked cell.
Nothing unusual here.
What?! Wander and Sylvia escaped?! Sound the alarm! Oh, look, it's Westley! Get 'em, Westley! You got this, little guy! Yeah! Uh, blast 'em, Westley! Pew! Pew! Westley, no! Watch out! There's a bomb! No! Not Westley! I'm gonna I'm gonna need a moment with this.
Westley Today we honor our bad friend Westley.
We did not know him long.
three years.
We knew him several years.
And never before had a watchdog displayed such m-malice, such contempt such cruelty.
He single-handedly captured my most hated enemies.
We We may never know what happened to him.
But we will we will always know he truly wa a bad guy!!! Don't look at me! - You think we got away with it? - Well, we're still sitting here, aren't we? Of course it worked! I've been studying Hater's ship.
All his cameras will see is me getting sucked out into space trying to stop you guys.
I'll probably be remembered as a hero or something dumb like that.
Oh, Wander over yonder and check out this and that if you Wander over yonder best be sure to wear your hat all the thing that you will see and you certainly will be free if you Wander over yonder, just you and me Aah! if the darkness comes a-creepin' and you're feeling down just Wander over yonder and turn your life around oh, Wander over yonder be sure to lend a hand all your helpful friendly good deeds will spread across the land all your helpful, friendly good deeds will spread across the land dooddley doot da doot doot Whoo! Westley, you were the best-ley our number-one watchdog Westley, you were the best-ley our number-one watchdog There, there, sir.
We're all gonna miss Westley.
Huh?! I'm upset because Wander and Sylvia got away again! Who's Westley?!