Westside (2018) s01e07 Episode Script

1 [indistinct chattering.]
[James.]
Hey! Oh, hey.
- [woman.]
Okay - Oh, that was a video.
One more.
[woman laughing.]
[Leo laughs.]
[indistinct chattering.]
[James.]
Yeah! What's up? - Thank you, guys, for coming.
- [Sean.]
Is he drinking? [man 1.]
He was holding a case of beer.
[James strums guitar.]
[man 2.]
Right on, man.
Thanks for the beer.
[James.]
I actually chose that on purpose.
I used to think that in order to be a rock star you had to do drugs and drink.
I used to idolize those people.
[James strumming guitar.]
- [James.]
Hey, everybody.
- [cheering, applause.]
Thank you so much for being here.
It means so much to me.
We're not sure if it's going to stick, but tonight for you we are Sunny Jim and the Devastation.
[cheering, applause.]
[Leo laughing.]
I haven't drank for 20 days.
How about that? [cheering.]
[James.]
I feel like I really want to drink, but I'm more scared of drinking than not drinking.
I'm excited about proving to myself that you can love yourself and still create good and meaningful art.
It's another hot day in Hollywood Being broke and looking good Are the only two things I can seem to do these days [strumming guitar.]
Sing it out Everything I've got I'm going to scream and shout Until they call the cops I'm a bad motherfucker and I'm tired Of acting like I'm not Yeah, I said I'm a bad motherfucker And I'm tired Of acting like I'm not Like you mean it I'm a bad motherfucker and I'm tired Of acting like I'm not One more! I said I'm a bad motherfucker, yeah I'm tired of acting like One more! I said I'm a bad motherfucker, yeah I'm tired of acting like I'm not.
[Taz cheering.]
[drums beating.]
[cheering, applause.]
Thank you so much.
You can't do it alone.
You have to have a team and you have to have a network and a family.
For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling really inspired.
I'm excited for what the future holds.
[overlapping chatter.]
[Leo laughing.]
[Taz.]
Hey.
- [Taz.]
You fucking rock star.
- [Alexandra.]
Okay.
- So amazing.
 Oh, it was so good.
- Thank you.
[James.]
Thank you for coming.
Did you guys have fun? I'm not trying to be all cheesy weezy fo sheezy my kneezy, but like I was like, "Fuck, you're fucking talented.
" - Thanks.
- [Taz.]
Is this your first time - performing in front of your dad? - [James.]
No.
He was just appreciating you being on - In front of us right now.
- Yeah, he was getting it.
I would love to see my dad come and see me perform.
My dad is just amazing.
He is so good with people.
Me and my dad, we have a different relationship.
We don't cry in front of each other.
We're not as open.
We never had a heart-to-heart conversation, but I know my dad has a lot of pain from my past and me getting in trouble.
Me drinking and driving.
I want to be his best friend.
[Leo.]
I've never had a great relationship with my father.
My father was just there every now and then.
I chose to put him on a shelf in some way in my mind, so he wouldn't hurt me.
I hold everything in because I don't want my parents to think I'm fucking weak.
But at the same time it's like I want my dad to be like "Come here, mija.
" Like, "I love you.
" I finished writing the song of myself with Keith and, like, I literally needed to go to different phases in my life - and just come back to it.
- [Leo.]
And remember.
Yeah.
- It's really scary because - It's difficult.
It's not easy to dwell on shit that makes you feel uncomfortable.
- Me coming back to those - Yeah.
- memories, it's like, "Fuck.
" - I think that's what fucked me up - the first couple of weeks.
- It's fucking me up right now.
- It's fucking you up now? - Yeah.
[piano playing.]
They tell me I'm a beautiful girl [clears throat.]
Just hold me up and I can move [sighs.]
I'm sorry.
Troubled at 13 and it's all my fault The look on your face Sorry.
[cries.]
[Alexandra.]
Dim the music.
- [Keith.]
Need a moment? - [clears throat.]
It's okay.
- [Keith.]
Are you sure? - Yes.
I'mma do better I'mma do [Taz.]
There's a lot of pressure and it's scary.
I let it affect me.
And that's when I get insecure.
So often as performers, we can't control our tears.
But repetition is the key to control.
You need to do it so many times by yourself that you start to feel numb to it.
Promise me that you're gonna practice this a thousand and one times.
I don't have any more patience for your shit.
- Like your, uh - [Taz.]
No, but I think I'm trying.
[Leo.]
I know.
But I don't have any more patience.
You have it.
Yeah, now, me writing my monologue, it's crazy because I am opening the doors that I did shut down.
So You have to dig.
You have to open those doors again.
- Yeah.
- [Taz grunts.]
- [Leo.]
Isn't that crazy? - It is.
It is But everybody's going through their own shit.
So many double standards Look me in the eyes Tell me what I'm guilty of I just don't see the crime So many lies, so many broken promises I gave my all My all is all I have to give Gotta go through the darkness Just to see the daylight Gotta go through the desert To reach the water But you've got to love the hustle Know how to flex their muscle Learn how to channel pain Turn that doubt into fame Beauty and the struggle Beauty and the struggle Beyond the point of passionate Hey Beauty and the struggle Won't let it in like this Who thought they'd co-exist Beauty and the struggle Oh Oh So many double standards Look me in the eyes Tell me what I'm guilty of I just don't see the crime - So many lies, so many broken promises - Broken promises I give my all My all is all I have to give Beauty and the struggle Yeah Beauty and the struggle Beyond the point of passionate Hey Beauty and the struggle Won't let it in like this m Who thought they'd co-exist The beauty and the struggle Don't want to talk about, say, "Oh" Oh, oh, way, oh Oh Oh, oh, way, oh - Don't want to talk about, say, "Oh" - Oh Beauty and the struggle Oh Beauty and the struggle Oh Beauty and the struggle Oh Beyond the point of passionate Hey Beauty and the struggle Won't let it in like this Who thought they'd co-exist The beauty and the struggle Don't want to talk about it, say, "Oh" [robotically.]
Beauty and the struggle Oh [robotically.]
Beauty and the struggle Don't want to talk about it, say, "Oh" [robotically.]
Beauty and the struggle Beauty and the struggle [siren wailing in distance.]
[Pia.]
Let's pick out clothes for, um, the presentation.
This is really cute.
- [Caitlin.]
Not my kinda dresses.
- Is this a dress? [Pia.]
I don't wanna be a mystery.
I don't want people to look at me and think that I'm unapproachable.
When you're performing, you have to let people in.
You have to be comfortable with yourself.
But putting yourself out there is really scary.
- [Pia.]
That's a dope dress for you.
- [manly voice.]
Thank you.
[Pia laughs.]
[Caitlin.]
I'm, like, so pretty, but you don't even know me.
- I'm just, like, really sensitive.
- [Pia chuckles.]
Are you mocking me? - Yeah.
- Awesome.
You look super hot.
[Caitlin.]
Oh, this thing's fucking awesome.
Can you do another one? [Pia.]
It's really scary for me to know that I'll be judged again, and not just for my talent, but also for my story and my life experiences.
It's been a process opening up just amongst the cast and now we have to share everything.
Yep, okay.
Oh, I look pregnant.
- Are you pregnant? - Nope.
- Haven't seen a dick in a long time.
- Excuse me? - [laughing.]
"Haven't seen a dick in a" - I have seen one.
- [Caitlin.]
You walked by it? - No, I just You know, busy.
[Alexandra.]
Hey, Megan, what's up, girl? Hi, Travis.
Hi, Jenna.
Hi, guys.
Guys, thank you so much for coming.
So I wanted to get on Facebook Live at least once a week and just say hi and catch up.
Do you guys want to win some Alexander K apparel? I see a couple of people say, "I do, I do, me!" Hi, Jimmy from Illinois.
I miss Illinois.
[chuckles softly.]
Um, keep commenting where you're from.
I'm loving seeing where you guys are from.
Thank you so much.
Minnesota, Texas, North Dakota, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio.
Anybody that lives anywhere near LA? If so, message or comment, and tell me that you live in California or if you live anywhere near LA.
I live in South Bay, so "Hi, we miss you in Illinois.
" I miss Illinois.
You guys, comment and give me a bunch of hearts if you guys want to win some Some apparel.
Let me show you what I've got for you.
I hate being alone.
I'm not sure that I made the right decision.
And it sucks.
Because I put my relationship in jeopardy.
And I, you know gave up.
And so a part of me still wonders is it all gonna be worth it if you don't have someone to share it with? Okay.
First up we've got the new hats.
What do you guys think? [Sean.]
I fucking hate that we even have to do this.
Dude, I have hated how much of my brain power I've had to put towards these discussions about Austin.
I don't want him to ever feel like we're attacking him, - but I know that - Oh, we are.
But it's It's not a measure of attacking.
It's a matter of addressing issues that we're seeing in the room.
- [bell dings.]
- [door opens.]
- [Keith.]
Hey, K.
- What's up? How are you? - How have you been? - [Keith.]
Good.
How are you? [Austin sighs.]
- [chuckles.]
Good.
Fantastic.
- [Keith.]
I know.
Welcome.
- [Austin.]
How are you? - I love your coat.
[Austin.]
Thank you, man.
What's up, dude? How are you doing? - [Sean.]
Are you all right? - Yeah.
How have you guys been? - [Austin clears throat.]
- You want some water? [Austin.]
Uh, water? Sure.
Actually, that'd be great.
[Keith.]
Um I don't want to beat around the bush.
- Yeah.
- [Keith.]
Um, this is, um This is like a A very serious, heavy meeting um, about your like, participation in this whole project at this point.
There have been certain, I'll just say, like, red flags.
that have come up regarding actions and outputs, um, from you.
And, um, we just want to have a conversation about it.
Okay.
I could not be giving you tougher love right now.
 I'm just going to go for it.
- Say what you've got to say.
- Thank you, dude.
[Austin.]
It seems to be pent up.
Yeah.
It is.
It is.
Spit it out.
[Keith.]
Throughout this process, I said very specifically that theater is a team sport.
That this is not a competition.
If everybody goes and does their own thing, comes back, see what we've got.
Best melody wins on top and the rest of us - Not how it works, but - Backgrounds.
The more we work together as an ensemble, the better it gets.
It just becomes more and more apparent when someone doesn't want to be part of that family.
Why are we singing "Hear Me"? Like We all live in LA and, like, I live in Beverly Hills with a BMW.
There is still this theme in your actions of, um Of boasting and proving and and dismissing.
Recently, within the past couple of sessions, especially like workshops, I've felt like I was gonna have to carry the team on my back with the songs.
[Keith.]
And there's absolutely no work that backs it up.
Even at the end of this song I say life goes on Life goes on [normal voice.]
 I'll sing that first verse again.
Sell it to you guys a bit more.
Anytime it gets hard, you react with defensiveness.
A nocturnal animal [Keith.]
Great.
Let's take that back.
You have that B flat.
Five, six, seven, eight.
A nocturnal animal [Keith.]
There it is! After that, when you left the microphone, and I went up to you and said, "Thanks for letting me lean into you like that.
" You said "Everybody wants peace.
" - [Austin.]
Is that a quote? - [Keith.]
Yeah.
It is.
Memory or quote? Memory's different from quote.
[Keith.]
I'm quoting you based on my memory and I'm quite, quite certain.
- [Sean.]
Austin, just let him talk.
- He is.
I'm letting him.
This is great.
- Um - [Sean.]
Don't do that.
Don't look at me like that.
We're here - [Austin.]
Then don't look at me.
- Hey, kids.
Don't look at you? - You don't have to.
- [Sean.]
We're talking to you.
This sounds like kindergarten.
I can't have kindergarten.
Then what is the point of this? What do you want to tell me? Set the record straight for me.
That's what you want.
I'm not gonna give it to you.
You want me to sit here and you want to grill me.
You guys have done a great job with that.
So good job.
Austin, you're doing exactly what we don't want you to do.
You're deflecting.
All right.
So you guys have already made up your mind.
Listen, if it was up to me I'll just do it for you guys.
Bye.
- Austin.
- [Austin.]
See ya.
It's all good.
I don't have the time.
Thanks, though.
Appreciate it.
Ooh, fuck.
[Keith.]
Austin [door closes.]
I didn't want it to end like that.
I assume that we're taking that as his official resignation.
- He's gone.
- Okay.
[siren wailing in distance.]
- [Caitlin.]
Make the circles wider.
- [Pia.]
Okay.
[sensually.]
Like, right there? [both laugh.]
[high-pitched voice.]
"Like, right there?" - Yeah! - [laughs.]
I look like I need to fix my life.
Boys, settle down.
- Yeah? - Go ahead.
Hey, guys.
Um Real talk for a second.
And then I want to - I want to - Hold on.
We've got - [Sean.]
Sorry.
- We've got - [Sean.]
Um - powder room happening.
I don't wanna take too much time on this, but there's clearly one seat that's empty.
There's one person that's not here.
Austin will no longer be a part of the live show.
If you guys have any personal questions, uh, you can talk to me on breaks, but I want to just keep this time for, uh, this show and keep it professional.
Because, remember, we only have five days until we present to the investors.
[James.]
What happened with Austin? That kid is probably one of the most disrespectful people I've ever encountered in my life.
- What's up? How are you? - [Alexandra.]
Good.
How are you? - Thanks for coming out last minute.
- Yeah, so what's going on? Obviously I found out.
It was nothing to do with music.
Nothing to do with saying, "Oh, you do this great, but it's just" It's like, "You're this, you're this, you're that.
We don't like this, we don't like this, don't like this, don't like this.
" And I was sitting there just like "What the fuck?" I thought it would be at least maybe constructive criticism, but it had none of that.
None of that.
Keith essentially was like "This is These are all the things you've told us and we've observed that are destructive.
" And he was like, "Well, I know what you guys want and I'm not gonna give it to you.
" And we're like, "You mean your honesty and your truth?" [sniffs.]
I would have kicked his ass.
I felt like I was put up back in a corner.
Like it was a fucking dog fight.
[Austin.]
I don't negotiate with mental terrorists.
I just wasn't going to give into it.
Did you feel like it was warranted for you to be let go? Listen, I mean, they must be really Either feel threatened or hurt.
And To say something like that, so And now he's, like, playing the victim.
He sent an email being like, "I put my heart and soul into this and I'm very disappointed, but let me know how I can be part of the process, smiley face.
" I wanted to reply and be like, "Which Austin am I talking to?" - [James.]
Yeah.
- [Austin.]
I mean, hey, listen, I never was out to ever hurt anybody.
And, you know I've only been, you know, nice to everyone and respectful.
Sweet, sweet Lexi, she was brand new here and he was one of her first friends.
And she was like, "He was talking shit blatantly to me about this project.
- And so many different levels.
" - Yeah.
[Alexandra.]
You have said things about other people that aren't nice.
Sean has heard enough things you've said about him, I feel, to react the way he reacted.
If it had to do with any criticism, it had to be musically.
I never said anything about the kind of person that anybody was.
Period.
And I take that to heart and I know that for a fact.
I felt bad for him.
- But - I wonder what's going to happen to him.
He's a young man.
He'll find his Yeah, he's Yeah.
I mean, he needed That needed to happen.
It doesn't matter.
It was just a waste of my fucking time.
Whatever.
[chuckles.]
[Alexandra.]
Austin has a lot to bring to the table when it comes to this project.
But he's on his own team.
He's chosen to be on Team Austin.
He sold me somebody that he isn't.
Your lips are selling roses But your hands are full of weeds You've gotten good at being Who you think you ought to be You made it sound so good But you did Just what they said you would You think you know somebody's heart But they don't show the broken parts You don't see the damage Till there's damage done You think you know what happens next But what you see ain't what you get Sometimes the rain Is just behind the sun You think you know someone Let you down When you think you know Someone Mess you up When you think you know Someone You're a fool If you think you know Someone I make excuses for your insecurities But you can't just cut someone And think they wouldn't bleed You made your bed of lies I wonder how you sleep on it at night You think you know somebody's heart But they don't show the broken parts You don't see the damage Till there's damage done You think you know what happens next But what you see ain't what you get Sometimes the rain Is just behind the sun You think you know someone Let you down When you think you know Someone Mess you up When you think you know Someone You're a fool If you think you know someone Let you down When you think you know someone Mess you up When you think you know someone You're a fool If you think you know someone You try to find the best in everyone You can't put your trust in everyone You're a fool If you think you know someone Because you don't know Somebody's heart They don't show the broken parts You don't see the damage Till there's damage done You think you know what happens next But what you see ain't what you get Sometimes the rain Is just behind the sun You think you know someone Let you down When you think you know Someone Mess you up When you think you know Someone You're a fool If you think you know Someone You think you know someone [Keith.]
Uh, we've got two new people here today to help us get this show together.
Ali, who's going to help with movement.
Deforrest is our stage manager.
Talk about making something out of nothing.
[Arika.]
Fuck, yeah.
That first day at, um, Capitol I was like, "Process over product.
" We've listened to each other.
And responded and said yes as much as possible.
The product is powerful and inspiring because it really comes out of you.
And now, in the next 24 hours, we're going to share it.
We need to put everything we have into this.
As you know, tomorrow's presentation will determine whether or not we have a show.
Let's really focus in.
Give it.
Don't shoot, hold back your fire I'm not the one who needs the reminder [indistinct chattering.]
Hello.
How are you? What's your name? - Monica.
- Monica, I'm Austin.
How are you? What's going on, baby? - Hi.
- Austin, yes.
[woman.]
I love your outfit.
[Austin.]
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
This is my clothing line, Dirty Disco.
Like my music, it's all disco, funk, soul stuff.
- [woman.]
That's what your music is? - Yeah.
Three-piece horn section.
All real musicians.
No computers.
No editing, no bullshit.
- It's like straight-up musicians.
- [woman.]
Where are you from originally? - I was born in Arizona.
- [woman.]
Arizona? - Yeah.
Terrible.
Horrible.
- [woman.]
Why is that bad? It's like 120 degrees.
I'd say people only go there to cook meth or die.
- [laughter.]
- So I try to stay away as much as I can.
Monica is talking about jumping in the pool naked later.
- Oh, Jesus.
- I know.
Well, if she needs somebody to join, you know who there is.
If there's anyone who likes to be naked, it's me.
Life doesn't stop at the end of the song.
I feel untouchable and I feel fabulous.
I see the big picture.
I am looking forward to creating songs that people will fucking sing.
In my own world, I would have changed nothing.
[Keith.]
Leo, you're first [plays keyboard.]
[Leo.]
It's my pleasure to introduce to you The one And only Rooster [keyboard playing.]
Signed at 13, paid in experience Missed most of school On promotional tours So like most people Daddy wasn't there I got what you would call On the surface love and affection I love you, son I'm so proud of you I'm thankful for that No disrespect But that lack of love Led to a lot of sex, sex, sex, sex I've got the asparagus all cut up.
Just get this hot.
We'll get the corn on.
And the meat.
You're the reason I'm The Rooster.
You're the reason I can claim "The Rooster" as my identity.
[Bobby.]
Can I tell the story of how you were conceived? [Leo.]
Yes, of course, please.
Are you kidding me? Well, you're a very creative person and I think it has something to do with the moment you were conceived.
Uh I had three hits of acid.
- Oh, God.
[laughs.]
- Which was I was over-indulgent in those days and Fuck, three? Three, which was perfect because I took two - and I gave one to Margo.
- Wow.
Gave one to your mom.
We made a drink and we put the record on.
The latest Talking Heads album.
- Yeah.
- Little People.
- Yeah.
- One thing led to another, - we had a lot of sex and - [Leo laughs hysterically.]
And that's where you came in.
You are You are that creative sort.
So you're saying I'm an acid baby.
You're a psychedelic baby.
You're saying I'm fucking cool in my DNA.
- That's right.
- Cool.
- That's right.
- [Leo.]
I accept.
[muffled voice.]
That answers a lot of questions about how I think too.
[laughs.]
[Leo.]
My past can't define me.
Or stop me from being the man I want to be and can be.
And am.
I don't ever want to give up on what I love or who I love even if it's hard because it allows me to continually grow.
And that's why I'm alive.
I love you.
Thanks for being here.
You can walk You can talk like a winner But be feeling like a loser all day Think I'm cracking up No one ever knows, here I go Putting on my best face Life gets rough, feel like giving up I get up, finally being a runaway No beginner, just a sinner Who was really into playing In my own game You're either in it for the thrill Or in it for the kill Or in it For whatever makes your heart stop You're either in it for the ride But if you can't decide Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Yeah, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Just be in it, just be in it For the love For the love, love Never ready, somewhat steady How am I feeling? I'm not anything I just did I'm about to try Even if I fail, what the hell I did the best that I can Take one step One foot then the next Just a test Baby, here we go again I'm a fighter, a survivor And I can't deny I'm playing in my own game Either in it for the thrill Or in it for the kill Or in it For whatever makes your heart stop You're either in it for the ride But if you can't decide Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Yeah, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Just be in it, just be in it So don't go worrying about the past So let it behind you So don't go caring about the future Because whatever, it's gone, gone down Because we're all running out of time Time, time Time You're either in it for the thrill Or in it for the kill Or in it For whatever makes your heart stop You're either in it for the ride But if you can't decide Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love, love, love Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love Love, love Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it Be in it for the love Love, love Well, you'd better, better, better Just be in it, just be in it For the love [cheering, applause.]
[Keith.]
Okay, let's take a little break.
I'm peeing.
God! No, I'm going! [Sean.]
One more day.
Makes me so anxious.
We all put so much pressure on ourselves to be good.
Not just for ourselves, but for each other.
Especially in this, 'cause you don't wanna be the person who lets everybody down.
- You don't wanna be the weakest link.
- Yeah.
- No one wants to be the weakest link.
- How many times have I said that? But I think I'm dealing with a lot too, just with Like, I'm so homesick.
You don't realize how hard it is to not be able to escape from this.
You guys can go home and forget about it.
I go home and I just sit and I'm just like - Until I have to work again.
- You're still living in it.
This is a really, really crazy process.
And we're doing it really quickly.
- It's a lot.
- So it's, like, oh, I'm so homesick and I just realize how hard it is to be away from, like people who know you and get you and like I get that homesickness is a real thing.
I do.
[Alexandra.]
When writing the song, I was just really telling our story.
When we were not together, that's all I wanted.
I just wanted to get in a car and have Indiana next to me and drive.
I want one more kiss Under a harvest moon Because I don't know How I'm supposed to plant my roots In a new place When my heart still remains Somewhere near Indiana [Alexandra in normal voice.]
Indy keeps me grounded.
He is my comfort.
- [Indy.]
You there? - Yeah.
I miss him.
I miss him a lot.
Keep taking moments to just step back.
Just live in the present because you're gonna wake up and it's gonna be over.
After tomorrow night chapter one is over.
[Keith.]
Pia, you're up.
[cheering in background.]
[cheering stops.]
You might remember me from a little show called American Idol.
- I hope.
[laughs.]
- [Leo chuckles.]
[Pia.]
I had to audition five times before I made it.
My poor dad.
I dragged that man with me to every single audition and he never complained once about it.
- Hi, Sandy.
- We must have been celebrating.
[indistinct chattering.]
[Pia.]
Getting on to that show, I mean, yeah, I was proud, but more importantly I was finally able to make my family proud.
So I'm doing a theater show.
There's going to be, uh, nine of us that are going to be workshopping and creating the show.
I want my voice to be heard and I want my story to be told.
And I think this is the way that I can do that.
I'm sick and tired of seeing my reflection in the glass as I watch the window of opportunity close.
- [man.]
Ladies and gentlemen - [cheering in background.]
[Pia sighs.]
Ever since I lost my record deal I've never fully committed to being a full-time artist.
[man.]
Tonight, we are proud to present [cheering continues.]
I need the line.
[Deforrest.]
"I'm not a backup dancer.
" I'm not a backup singer.
I'm not the girl who almost made it.
I'm not Whitney, Mariah or Celine.
[Deforrest.]
The one and only Miss Pia Toscano.
I thought that telling my own story was going to be easy.
It is so difficult.
Just cut me out of the show.
I don't want to do my monologue.
When people are right in front of me, I get so into it and for some reason when I get on that fucking X, I turn into the ice queen I'm talking about.
I don't know what's happening with me.
This has never happened to me before.
I'm not going to fucking fail in front of a bunch of people tomorrow.
It has to be amazing by tomorrow and I can't have everybody that's directing the show think that I can't do it.
Who thinks that you can't do it? I see.
I'm very smart.
I don't know how to connect to this.
I don't know what to do.
What do I do? All these fears, all these things that I said I was going to get out of my system all of it was in my body.
[indistinct chattering.]
[Keith.]
Okay, guys.
Taz come to the piano, please.
Um, can it be a little It's fine.
- Can we do that again? - [Keith.]
Yeah.
[Taz.]
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Thirteen.
[sighs.]
My mother received a phone call from the principal.
See? I fucking get nervous.
Can you do it again? Or just I'll just Yeah.
It was a couple of days away before, um, before our graduation, our eighth grade graduation.
Um See? [chuckles.]
I fucking freeze.
Okay.
I'm always messing up, I'm always doing something wrong.
[Taz sputtering lips.]
It's very important for me to give it all that I've got.
I am tired of failing my family.
My dad, he had a small stroke.
He's trying to learn how to walk again.
My parents are just getting older and I don't want to disappoint them.
Even more.
[Xavier.]
What aboutyour recording? How's it going? [Taz.]
It's going good.
I'm just trying to, like be a better me right now.
- You can do it.
- Yeah.
You know.
But I want me and you to be, like, super tight.
Tighter.
Like how we used to.
- Um - I'm always here.
- [Taz.]
I know.
- You know.
I get a little A little angry at myself because I can't walk like before, but - It's not your fault.
- that's what it is, you know.
I mean, I'm trying hard.
At least I can walk, you know, but not like before.
I'm going to hang in there and be here more.
- [Taz.]
Yeah.
- Or longer.
[sniffs.]
Yes, that's why [cries.]
[Xavier.]
Yeah.
Well, we'll see what happens.
Leave it in God's hands.
But, yeah.
I love you, Dad.
I love you too.
I would love for you to go to the show too.
I'll try, do my best.
- You know.
- [softly.]
Yeah.
But I'm a trier I'm a trier I swear it's going to be the last time [Leo.]
That was good, though.
I mean Everything was - I'm just completely exhausted.
- I need to go home.
[Keith.]
Look, I know it's been a long day for everybody.
But let's get ready for the opening number.
[Ali.]
Okay, yeah.
Everybody here? Okay, so we are starting a new structure.
But we're gonna walk through it.
So can you come and make a line in this space? So everybody will be about this far downstage, just in the place that you are.
Yeah.
Can we sing from, um, "And when you feel it fall apart"? [Keith.]
Two, three, four.
And when you feel it fall apart [Ali.]
Uh, uh No, I don't think so.
We can hold.
 We can hold.
So I'm putting you in new positions for the diamonds.
Let's try that.
Okay? - Your placements will be different.
- [Caitlin.]
It doesn't matter - what we learned before? - [Ali.]
No.
Okay, so can we get in our line and I'll tell you where to go? So the first two to move on "feel" are James and Pia.
James, you'll go left.
Pia, right.
When you feel it fall apart [Ali.]
Yeah.
And on "refusing" Taz and Lexi.
Yeah.
Uh, can you guys switch? Shhheeeoo.
Can we try that? Yep.
You got that.
Great.
I just really hope I don't mess this up.
It's fine if you do.
[Ali.]
From here, let's try Lexi as the point.
- Okay? - The point of what? The point of The The center of the cipher.
So if I'm Lexi, she's here.
And she starts that.
And everybody's here, so that she's the center of the You.
Can it be closer? Wait.
How are we getting into this? - [Ali.]
I'm going to tell you when to move.
- I'm about to freak out.
- Don't worry.
- [Ali.]
Um, try this.
- [Keith.]
Don't freak out.
- [Ali.]
And do the riff.
[Alexandra.]
I have the fear of failure.
I have the fear of being embarrassed.
[Ali speaking indistinctly.]
[Pia.]
I'm just exhausted.
I'm done.
[Taz.]
I'm here and I'm so tired of it.
[Arika.]
I feel like I'm going to go crazy.
- [James.]
Seriously, I'm frustrated.
- [Caitlin.]
I feel like I'm freaking out.
[Sean.]
Everyone's really starting to feel the pressure and I'm worried that all of our hard work is starting to unravel.
It's a really hard balance of me trying to concentrate on being an artist when I have all these responsibilities as a producer as well.
[James.]
Can we have a water break? - [Keith.]
Yes, thank you.
- [Ali.]
Yes.
[clattering.]
I'm literally going to fucking freak out.
Like, it's so fucking unnecessary.
- Why? What is the fucking point? - I don't like it.
 Doesn't feel better - than the last choreography.
- It's movement.
It's all movement.
We just fucking moved something four different times.
I don't understand.
- [Keith.]
Why it's changed? - I don't get it, Keith.
We've only been learning these things for three days and then we've learned four different dances for one song.
Now I'm scared shitless I'm gonna go out there and just fucking just be lost in the middle of everybody.
I really wish that I could just pretend like um, everything's fine, but it's not.
And, look, the show's not tonight.
But the current choreography really is great to watch.
Everybody We're nervous 'cause we wanna give a good show tomorrow.
- [Keith.]
I know.
- That's why I'm like, uh, I wish I was just focusing on my monologue.
I'm at the point I don't give a fuck anymore.
And I'm just going to learn where I need to stand, what note I need to hit, and literally just be fucking done.
[Alexandra.]
Who changes a dance four different times the day before the fucking show? - [Keith.]
Two-minute warning.
- Yep.
- [Keith.]
Okay, two-minute warning.
- [Sean.]
Yeah.
[Alexandra.]
I don't do this, Pia.
I don't I'm like you.
I don't I don't learn a song the day before I go and perform a show.
- I know.
- I don't.
I learn it a month I know.
We're all really out of our comfort zones, I think, right now.
[Alexandra.]
Why am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? [Keith.]
One minute.
I don't like this before the show kind of thing.
- We should be resting.
- [Alexandra.]
Mm-hmm.
So she's right.
Yeah, I agree.
It's really hard and it sucks because tomorrow's the day.
But the only option is that we're gonna get through it.
[Alexandra.]
I can't.
Like, I I'm stressed.
[Keith.]
Pia, Lexi, Sean, we're back now.
[Alexandra.]
I'm so stressed out.
SDH created by: Arvind Vishwakarma