Work in Progress (2019) s01e07 Episode Script

1 [NARRATOR.]
Previously on Work in Progress.
- What can I do for you? - Oh, hi! This bitch at work, she's like, "I went to Costco and got you almonds.
" Pat was not exactly a positive portrayal for gender-nonconforming folks.
I'm learning and I'm trying to make it up to you.
- When are you gonna tell her? - Because relationships are about sharing everything.
It just seems sudden, and I'm just having trouble.
And I saw Chris's dead name.
Campbell, it was with the one thing he asked me not to know.
It was an honest mistake.
So, are you going to tell him? Sure, yeah.
- Okay.
- All right.
[LIVELY CHATTER IN CAR.]
[ABBY.]
Creative? I'm not so sure.
- Pinterest, yes.
- [CHRIS.]
All right, all right.
I get it.
- Oh.
- All right.
Whoo-whee! - Hey, let me get it.
- Oh.
- I got it.
- Well, thank you, Mike.
And thanks for the ride.
- Yeah.
- All I's going to say is, "We survived, and I'm moving out.
" Did you guys hear that? Apologies.
Ah, you know me.
Oh, actually, that's not my bag.
- But this is.
- Oh.
Are we taking you to your place? - No, here's fine.
- Okay.
- All right.
- No, don't - Or I can go.
- No, you should come up.
That's cool.
I'm still holding the bag.
[ABBY.]
Okay, Mike, you can put it down.
- All right.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Thank you.
- [MIKE.]
Yeah, yeah.
- Well, we married off Dad.
- Yeah, we did.
Well, you did.
- You did an amazing job.
- Aw.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Yeah, you could have, probably.
- Yeah, I could have, probably.
- [LAUGHS.]
Would it be okay if I called you later? Just uh Yes, of course.
What's wrong? No, no, nothing.
It's not a big deal.
It'll be fine.
I just would love Hey! Hey, thank you for being a part of this weekend.
We really all loved having you there.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it was really good.
- Honk, honk! - [ABBY.]
Oh, my God, Mike! Hey, come on, babe.
We got to go.
This guy! Okay, babe, okay.
- All right, love you.
- I love you.
- All right, bye.
Thanks.
- Bye.
- Love you.
- Love you.
Bye.
I love you.
- Good luck with everything, you guys.
- Bye, bye.
- [HONKS HORN.]
- Love you.
Are you really okay with not coming up? I'm really sorry.
I'm going to go hang out at Kai and Geo's.
Riv's in town this weekend, so I'm - I got stuff to do.
- Oh, my gosh.
Perfect.
- Will you tell them I said hey? - I will.
- Okay.
- Of course.
- Well - I'll call you later.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Yeah? Okay.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
You did good, kid.
[EXHALES.]
[ABBY.]
Not a big fucking deal, Abby.
Why do you make everything a big fucking federal deal? Nobody knows.
You didn't see the name.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
You don't know what it is.
It's just Chris.
It's your boyfriend Chris.
Fuck.
But you know what? You did see it.
And you saw it on purpose, because you're a fucking petulant little cunt.
And then you kept it from him.
You're a fucking pill-bottle-label-reading liar.
And a betrayer.
Aah! Fuck! Fuck.
[GASPS AND SIGHS.]
How do I tell him? [EXHALES.]
Are you fucking kidding me? [SIGHS.]
I fucking hate books.
Just call him.
Call him.
Abby, fucking call Chris.
Tell him you saw his dead name, and then this whole bullshit will be done.
He's not gonna care.
Here I go.
- [RINGS.]
- Aah! Fuck.
Hello? [JULIA, OVER PHONE.]
Abby! - Hey, Julia.
- Oh! Oh, no.
Something's wrong.
Is this a bad time? I'm so sorry.
- I can call back.
- Actually, you know, Julia, it's not you.
[SIGHS.]
Just tell him you saw it and that's it, right? It's not that simple, though.
I think you should just say, "Chris, I saw your birth name " - It's dead name.
- Dead name.
"I didn't mean to, but I did, and " Oh, what is this? - Honey wine.
- Oh.
I thought white wine always meant chardonnay.
[LAUGHS.]
Anyway, you were saying? I was just like, I know I should tell him, right? But it's just I've waited so long and I just feel it's way too late.
And even though I didn't mean to see the name, it's just that I still [COUGHS.]
Excuse me.
Hey, are you all right? - That really is different.
- Oh, okay.
Do you want some water, or ? - No, I'm fine.
- Okay.
Anyways, I was just thinking, if I could wait - for the perfect - You know what? I think - I think Just because I've been wait - [COUGHS.]
I think I need some water.
Listen, this is what I would tell my daughter.
I think I would say, "Put yourself in Chris's shoes.
" If you were Chris, would you want you to tell you? Would you want to know? - That I know? - Yeah.
I mean, I would want to know, because I want to know everything, especially if it's hurtful.
But would Chris want to know that I know? I think because he's so young, he's having a better day not knowing.
So, I don't think he'd want to know.
I'm not gonna tell him.
Hm.
Thank you.
That's not what I thought you were gonna decide.
[LAUGHS.]
But okay.
Hey, why were you calling me in the first place anyway? - It'll wait.
- Wait, what can wait? Well, I wanted to tell you something, but I didn't know how you were going to react.
What is it? Are you in a good emotional space right now? Julia, we're going to be waiting a long time for that train, so could you just tell me? All right, well, okay.
Have you heard of NPR? National Public Radio? Yeah, I've heard of it.
- I'm a supporter.
- Okay.
Well, they have this show on there, called This American Life.
Julia, I know about This American Life.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, sometimes they do these live shows, and they're gonna do one here, and they asked me to do a piece.
- That's amazing.
- Yeah.
And, anyway, I was thinking a lot about creating Pat, and how it made your life so difficult, and how I feel so horrible about it.
- And that was never my intent.
- Oh, no.
- Is this upsetting you? - Not yet.
No.
Okay.
Well, I wanted to know if you would come to the show.
It's a week from Saturday.
And it all came together so fast.
I understand if you can't go.
I really want to, it's just um This week's been a little rough, so Please, can you come? Normal Al is going to be out of town, and I think it's going to be fun.
And I think I can get you free tickets.
Your girl does like free stuff, so odds of attendance just doubled.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, and remember what we decided.
You're going to be totally honest with Chris, right? That's not what we decided.
We decided I wouldn't tell him.
Okay, but I think that's a big mistake.
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello? - [CHRIS, OVER PHONE.]
Hey.
Oh, my God.
What's wrong? You okay? Everything's fine.
But what band was Glen Phillips the lead singer of? Uh, Toad the Wet Sprocket.
- [MOUTHING SILENTLY.]
- [ABBY.]
Why? [WHISPERING.]
Toad the Wet Sprocket.
We're playing bar trivia.
- Hi, Abby.
- [SNICKERS.]
Get off the phone.
You can't call me.
That's cheating.
But we need your '90s help, Abby, Sr.
Come meet us.
- We really do.
Come.
- Shh! Abby.
I can't.
Not tonight.
Remember, I'm gonna see you on Thursday.
- You promise? - Yeah, of course.
That sounds like fun.
Now, Chris, get off the phone.
- You're gonna get in trouble.
- I like trouble.
Tell Abby, Jr.
, I say good night.
- See you Thursday.
- Boo.
I know, boo.
All right, babe, good night.
[SIGHS.]
[TYPING.]
[SUSAN.]
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Abby Happy birthday to you It's not my birthday.
But it is your work birthday.
My work birthday? Yeah.
It's been a full year that you've been temping with us.
So, my anniversary? Nah, anniversary's boring.
I like work birthday better.
And, look, I got you this cookie cake.
I didn't pay for it, but it was my idea.
- Wow.
- Wow, indeed.
Can you believe it? It's been one whole year since you've been temping with us.
One whole year.
And can I tell you? The almonds are working.
You look 3 1/2 pounds lighter.
I believe I owe it all to your pointed advice, Susan.
Oh Abby, here's a crazy idea.
Let's get lunch.
Or a coffee, or drinks.
Whatever you want.
- That's not necessary.
- It is.
We got to celebrate this full year.
And we should talk about your future.
- [SIGHS.]
- What? Sorry, I've just had a tough few days.
[SUSAN.]
Oh, did you lose your pet? Oh, no, I don't have a pet to Oh.
Okay, you know what? Coffee sounds great.
- Ooh, score.
- Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
I've been so into these new coconut caramel soy lattes.
They are so good.
But I only let myself have one a week.
I'm like, "Listen, Susan.
No.
You got to make yourself the policeman of yourself.
" You know what I mean? Hey, let's get coffee.
Let's figure out your future.
You can't temp forever.
Yeah, but maybe I can.
Actually, you can't.
Company policy.
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, it looks like you've gained 4.
8 pounds this week.
Yup.
You're staying for the meeting, right? Judy's on fire today.
But I can see that you are really aware of what you need to do.
Yeah? - Are you excited to be here?! - I guess so.
[JUDY CONTINUES, INDISTINCT.]
Hey, don't despair, 4.
8 pounds is not the end of the world.
I never said it was.
[JUDY.]
Well, how do we feel about the truth? You don't want people lying to you, right? We want the truth.
What is the truth? It's being honest with yourself when life is hard.
When you're challenged.
When you're uncomfortable.
Right? You have to tell the truth if you want to lose those five pounds.
You have to acknowledge that you then gain those ten pounds.
Right? So tell the truth.
Be honest with yourself.
[WOMAN.]
The usual? Thanks so much.
[WOMAN.]
Hi, what can I get you? [WOMAN 2.]
Hi, just a small coffee to go.
- [WOMAN 2.]
Thank you.
- [WOMAN 1.]
Thanks.
Hi, what can I get for you? You know what? Nothing.
Thank you, though.
[WOMAN.]
Hi, how are you doing? [MAN.]
Yeah, can I get an old-fashioned, please? And a medium coffee.
[SCOFFS.]
[WOMAN.]
Here you go.
- Hi again.
- Hi.
Um, may I please have a small iced coffee with skim milk for me, and then one large whole milk latte and, let's see four old-fashioned.
Thanks.
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Well, I better not Fuck this up Well, I better not Fuck this up Well, we'd better not Fuck this up Well, we'd better not Fuck this up Well, it's two lines On them And were pairing them Down the cost Well, it's two lines On them Well, you better not Put up a fuss Well, I'm wide awake Whoo Well, you'd better not Fuck this up Well, you'd better not Fuck this up [ABBY.]
Hey, Campbell.
- Hey.
- Hey! Can I get a what what? Hi.
Mm.
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no.
No.
Campbell, you just worked out, okay? Yeah, but post-workout smoking is the best kind of smoking.
- What are you doing here? - I just wanted to see you.
- It's Chris.
Uh - What? So I'm supposed to hang out with him and his friends tonight at the MCA, it's like this queer event.
And I just don't think I want to go, - and kind of freaking out - Why? Why? You love that shit.
I mean, come on, you always say you're a patron of the arts.
Except I don't think you know what "patron" means.
[LAUGHS.]
Campbell I'm a horrible person.
Jesus Christ, Abby, what? I still haven't told Chris that I saw his dead name.
Campbell, I saw Chris's dead name at the wedding? - At my dad's - Oh, my God, right.
Is that still going on? Yeah.
I fuck.
- I don't know what to do.
- All right.
- We're getting drinks, okay? - Okay.
You follow me.
I know exactly where we're going.
[CAMPBELL.]
Come on.
It's going to be okay.
It's two for one down here.
I get two, you get one.
I don't know, Abby.
Maybe it's the red meat talking, but I think it's time for a dose of tough love.
Not a fan.
I know, but for fuck's sake, Abby, you have to tell him, all right? It was an accident.
A normal person wouldn't be freaking out like this.
Normal? I just mean, you're entitled to feel how you feel, but it's the not telling him that is now the problem.
It's not good for you.
And, frankly, it's really not good for me.
How's that? Do you think I like being at a bar unshowered? How am I supposed to get laid? [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Is that him? No.
It's Alison.
- Oh, take it.
- No.
She's gonna tell me exactly what you just told me, what Julia told me, what Dr.
Franklin told me.
Dr.
Franklin? - Oh, okay.
- I know.
[LAUGHS.]
For God's sakes.
All right, let's go fucking patronize the arts, okay? - Campbell - No, Abby.
You want to do this, because you came to me.
I'm your, "Yeah, fuck it, let's do this" friend, okay? So let's, one, go make up our money on the open bar.
There is an open bar, right? - Yeah.
- Wonderful.
And two, go appreciate the hell out of some fucking contemporary clitoral abstractions, or whatever.
And three, tell your boyfriend the fucking truth.
Grab your shit.
Let's go.
[CAMPBELL.]
Are you sure you didn't get a haircut? [ABBY.]
No, but I need one.
[CAMPBELL.]
Okay, here we are.
You're coming in with me, right? No.
Of course not.
Campbell, you said you were going to come in with me.
Yeah.
I said that to trick you.
I smell like a wet horse.
Be brave.
I love you.
Let me know how it goes.
- Be brave? - Bye-bye! [INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
[INAUDIBLE.]
Abby.
- Hey.
- You made it.
- Hi.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
- Are you sure? Yeah.
It looks so cool in here.
- I can't wait to make my rounds.
- Oh, look at these two assholes standing right here! - Hi.
- Mwah.
- Hi.
Hi, baby.
- You look amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Oh, my God.
Don't look.
No, stop looking.
This guy that I fucked last week is here.
He's standing right over there.
- The teacher or the doctor? - The doctor.
Ooh, a doctor? - He's a podiatrist.
- Oh.
No, stop looking.
I just can't believe he's here.
I'm over him.
That's not who I am anymore.
You know, I'm moving on.
I'm going to go talk to him.
Thank you, baby.
Hi.
I'm really glad you're here.
Yeah.
Should we get some drinks? Actually, could you get them? Yeah.
Of course.
[DARK, DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
What else do you want me to say? [ABBY.]
You decided that you're gonna break up with me and we're not even gonna talk about it? What is there to talk about? You're miserable.
- I'm miserable.
- You said that you loved me and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.
I did.
And I don't anymore.
[ABBY.]
Why did you even move in with me, Melanie? Why'd you let it get this far? We both let it get this far.
Don't do this.
What do you want me to do, Abby? - Be honest with me.
- Be honest with you? - Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm fucking serious.
You've been lying to me for I don't know how long.
[MELANIE.]
Me? You're a walking lie.
I don't want to live like this anymore, Abby.
Wait a fucking minute! - That is way too much! - No, no, no, no! You're not honest about who you are ever.
Everyone outside of these walls gets to meet an Abby that's happy, excited, the life of the party.
And then I'm left with this.
And you wonder why I hide?! I've shared more of myself with you, Melanie, than anybody on the face of the fucking planet, and you fell out of love with me! Truly, Abby? You've shared nothing.
You have all these rules and hang-ups and anxieties, and you talk about them all the time like you're being honest, but really it's just the tip of the iceberg.
And it's killing me.
And it's killing you.
It's killing the both of us.
I can't do this anymore.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[DARK, DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
I saw your dead name.
What? I saw your dead name and I know what it is.
What? How? In the hotel at the wedding.
You left your pill bottle on the bathroom counter, and I was drunk, and I picked it up by accident.
But then I picked it up again and I looked at it, and I saw it.
I saw it.
I saw your dead name.
Is this why ? I'm so sorry.
I didn't know how to tell you.
Is this why you've been acting like an asshole all week? I thought you were going to break up with me.
Oh, God, no.
I don't want that at all.
I don't, please.
I can't believe I spent the last week trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Why you weren't responding to my calls.
Why you were avoiding me.
Why you weren't being yourself! I know.
Why didn't you just tell me? [WHISPERING.]
I was so afraid.
I didn't know what to do.
So you thought that the right thing to do was just keep it from me? To lie to my face? To make me second-guess everything about myself? I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
Well, it seems pretty fucking simple to me.
Look, I know.
I told Campbell, and she said just to tell you, - because you would understand.
- What? Campbell knows? Yeah.
And then I talked to Julia, and she told me that Jesus Christ, Abby! Julia Sweeney? You talked to everyone about this but me? Did you tell them my dead name? [ABBY.]
My God, no.
I would never do that.
Yeah, well, why not? I had one goddamn boundary, and you just fucking blew right through it! Trust me.
You've got to trust me.
- Trust you? - Yeah.
How the hell am I supposed to trust you right now? - Chris, please believe me.
- Honestly? I don't know what to believe right now.
Will you give me a minute - just to explain - No.
I need some air.
- Chris, please - No, don't follow me.
Hi.
Hey.
So this is me not knowing what's going on.
But what's going on? Have you seen Chris? He took off and said he'd call me later.
He was looking not euphoric.
Fuck.
- Can I get a drag of that? - Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
- I quit, but - Oh, God.
Yeah, I'm happy I quit.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [ABBY.]
Okay.
Can I make a sweeping generalization? Uh Why not? You're a much better person than you think you are.
I think if you really knew who I was, you would not feel that way.
Jesus, are you drowning puppies or something? - [LAUGHS.]
- No.
I'm just, uh I'm really fucked up.
Chris is fucked up too, you know? Everybody's fucked up.
Yeah, I know.
But if there was, like, a competition, I'd win.
Girl, that's your problem.
It's not a competition.
Now if you'll excuse me, that podiatrist that I fucked last week just introduced me to the chiropractor he fucked last week.
I think I'm about to get a medical hookup Yahtzee.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Too much information? - No.
Be safe, okay? Thank you.
To keep the pain To a minimal Weightless Only wait for a fall How long Must I wait for you? I dance In the evening How What I need?