Wynonna Earp (2016) s01e07 Episode Script

1 Previously on Wynonna Earp Why do revenants always have to be such a frigging hassle? He attacked my home, Dolls.
A souvenir photo with my father's body.
This is what Bobo's been digging up half of Purgatory for.
Oh, my God, it's a real dead guy.
- I know what you really are.
- Competition.
- The enemy.
- Nobody goes out there - unless they really have to.
- Who is this person nobody goes to see unless they have to? The Blacksmith.
She's gonna be coming for me.
I need to find some salt.
Who's coming? Am I in danger? Of course you are.
Witch.
Well, shit.
John, John, John didn't I blow you up with a motorbike? Yeah, well, it didn't take.
This one will.
Oh, you like to make an entrance.
Hey, Doc, you want to tell me why you're living in the woods, screaming in your sleep and being ambushed by revenants? I had him right where I wanted him.
On top of you? If you are done your business, I wouldn't mind getting some shut-eye so Not done yet.
I'm here on recon.
Johnny-Come-Twicely was a bonus.
Last of the Seven is too blurry for me to make out, but you knew Auggie so Wynonna, you wanna know why I nearly got my throat slit? Because I've been helping the heir.
You.
And I'm doing it for nothing.
It's funny, I thought you were doing it for me.
I have my own devils to trap.
So unless we are gonna make this a more equal partnership, I must politely say, go to hell.
Oh, wake up.
I know you're here.
I can smell you.
Sure that's not your fear? I'm positively choking on it.
I don't have what you want, Constance.
But you know where he is.
You touched him, Mattie.
As I've longed to touch him for 130 years.
My beautiful boy.
I could you make you young again.
At a cost that would make a whore blush.
I can cure that tumour in your breast.
Now, that's just rude.
You want rude? Cute.
But if you don't take the carrot, you get the stick.
Where's my boy? Ah! Ugh! 'Cause I gave you all I've got to give And no, that ain't no way to live I told that devil To take you back I told that devil to take you back He nearly got scalped.
Ugh! And he's living in a tent a raccoon wouldn't piss on.
And I'm pretty sure he hates me, so that's really nice.
But you and Dolls, you're still working all weekend? OK.
You're asking why? - Just trying to keep up, right? - We're gonna track down the last of the Seven if it kills me.
Hey, you want me to ask him to run some tests - on your bony little friend? - Uh, no.
Curtis left it to me, and if I give it to Black Badge, I might never see it again.
They say I have trust issues.
You're gonna be OK - without me? - I'm good.
I'm a happily single Virgo - with hair for days.
- Well, you get lonely - and you call me.
- OK.
OK.
Why wouldn't Doc look at the photo? Because he was drunk and ornery.
- More than usual.
- Mm-hmm.
Yes, we all know how much you "mm-hmm" Doc.
Doc's the kind of bad that's good to keep around.
Wynonna, you don't become immortal by making deals with angels.
You gotta go to the other guys for that.
There.
Look at this hand.
Well, looks like your seventh was quite the gentleman.
Tell that to my dead sister.
Look.
See? There's a spade.
Nice work.
- You up for some Chinese? - Yes! - Put me down for - Gong Bao chicken with enough hot sauce to blind a T-Rex, right? It's gonna be a long night, - we should make it fun.
- Hmm.
'Cause fun's your middle name.
I give you this, Mattie, you've lasted hours longer than I thought you would.
Maybe you've underestimated the good that's left in this world.
I highly doubt it.
You've done your worst.
I'm not coming out.
Are you sure? Hagyd, hogy a torok porra ahogy porra.
Go on.
Now, we can finally begin.
Tell me, who has the skull? The girl that's gonna finally end you.
Wonderful! Got an address? I don't wanna love ya But I can't let go Yeah! You go, go, go How many tiny pillows does one girl need? Dare I ask? My uncle Curtis left it for me to look after.
Human remains, what every girl wants in her inheritance, right? I don't think this is human.
Best be careful - who knows you have that.
- Why? In Bobo Del Rey's camp, there was two skeletons, one of which was missing a head.
Great.
My parlay with Bobo has finished.
This morning, Wynonna, she requested - assistance and - You told her to go to hell! And it was wrong of me.
Too much drink, too much pride.
Hey, wait a second.
I wanna record this, so that I can replay it to you when you're being a dick.
Whoa, whoa! Hey! Your tele telephone is angry about something.
Yeah, you need to go.
Girls only tonight.
Engagement party.
A chance for me to show my friends that I'm not a freak.
You hunt demonic outlaws who rise from the dead.
Gunslingers cannot foster friendships with civilians, it never works.
See, you being here is definitely not selling normal.
So look, the only invitation you're getting is to move onto our land.
What? Friends don't let friends get gutted by revenants.
Plus, you know, it might be nice for us to have some company.
You know, chop wood, - help us not die.
- That is a generous offer, one that should come from your sister also.
Look, she might not be able to figure you out, Doc, but Wynonna doesn't want you dead.
Well, I will consider it.
I'll sleep in the barn tonight and see if it meets my needs.
- Good.
- You should hide that cranium somewhere safe.
You wouldn't want to spoil the revelry.
I love you like a boomerang, boomerang I love you like a boomerang Boomerang They're carving our chopsticks by hand or what? Look, I need you to listen carefully.
- OK.
- There's been a change of plans.
- I have to go away for a while.
- What? Where are you? Look, I need you to stand by for instructions.
I may need you to access my files quickly.
OK, this is supremely cryptic, even for you.
Look, you can do it, Earp.
You don't need me.
OK? You can break the curse, find the last of the Seven.
Believe that.
OK, Dolls, do I need to send in the cavalry? Say pomegranate if someone's got a gun on you.
I owe you a nice dinner when I get back.
Double order of dumplings.
Dolls? Fly on your window I'm just a fly on your wall The way you chop off my wings The way you swallow me whole Way you follow my footsteps Welcome to the party! Oh, Chrissy, Steph.
- Where is everybody? - Hmmm Guilt and shame douse me In gasoline We got a bar Rach and Sonja bailed.
They were too freaked to come to the "Murder House.
" It's not a murder house, it's my home.
Murder house, murder home I'm kidding.
It looks great.
Thanks.
We're just surprised you ended up moving back in with Wynonna.
This doesn't seem healthy, Waves.
What? To put the past to rest and move on? Aren't you the ones who got me, like, five Dr.
Phil books? See? Look, it's cute.
You know, - shabby chic.
- I don't really care where we are as long as we're all together.
Here's to moving on.
- And Steph getting engaged.
- Yeah! Again.
And to bargain-bin decorating.
Ha! You know? Haha! Saturday night.
I'm the town pariah with ten years of bad deeds and social suicides to make up for, - what's your excuse? - Nedley.
Say no more.
Bosses are the worst.
Also, I'm scared mine might be dead.
Oh, kidding.
Are you sure you're OK? Mm-hmm.
At least I'm not the only one who wasn't invited to the party.
Makes me feel better.
What party? Très sparkly.
Right? Thank God he finally grew a pair and got it back from his ex.
So, when are we going shopping for the bridesmaids' dresses? We already did.
Thanks giving weekend at the city.
Merlot, shopping, spa day.
It was fabulous! - Oh.
- You've been so busy - reconnecting with Wynonna.
- Ignoring your boyfriend No.
No.
Champ and I are, - are over.
For real this time.
- Good for you.
- Yeah, but Champ was so - What? Ignorant? - Immature? - Indulgent.
He loved you.
I mean, I'm not trying to be mean here, but there aren't exactly a bunch of dudes lined up waiting to date an Earp.
Well There's a man outside.
Like, a cute lumberjack, cowboy, light-more-than-your-fire kind of man! You whore! You got a stripper?! Hey.
Don't be cross, I got wood.
- I'll bet you do.
- Just in time.
Come on in, honey.
You know exactly who she invited too.
- Chrissy Nedley.
- What?! Sheriff's daughter? Mm-hmm! And Stephanie Jones.
You know, one time, Stephanie told me that I should think about getting a butt lift.
What?! Your ass is like - It's top shelf, man.
It's top shelf.
- Thanks.
Have I pulled Waves too close? You know, I think that Waverly has spent her whole life tailoring who she is to the people she's with.
She's only now just starting to figure out what she really wants.
Dude, you're like a walking bumper sticker.
Who's armed! Waverly should be hanging out with you.
I agree.
Who's this? Who's this lady? That is victim number 3.
Same guy killed 3 women? Yeah, killing them was only the start.
Joyce Arbour.
She's 22.
We found her Wednesday morning, and the cause of death appears to be multiple lacerations, but of course, the autopsy report is practically illegible.
Dolls picked a great time to go AWOL.
Uh, I need to see the body.
So, is this strip poker? I'm not shy.
- No, you're engaged.
- Maybe we can bet just pennies.
I think I'm more comfortable with pennies.
Is it true that everybody has a tell? Well, I most certainly do not.
Henry has the biggest tell of all.
You're bluffing.
- Wanna bet? - I'll bet that this is the lamest engagement party in history.
Well, a hostess is only as good as her company.
Pair of sevens.
Aces and eights.
Well, you best rebutton your blouse 'cause all the heat's over here on my girl.
What was that? Barn door's come open is all.
I'll see to it.
OK.
Give me a minute.
One second.
She's coming.
She's coming.
I-I-I t-tried to I'll have someone call a physician! No, no, no.
This kind of wound won't heal.
I'm dead already, Holliday.
- Have we met? - There isn't much time.
You know Constance Clootie, someone called the Stone Witch? I am familiar with her work.
Waverly Earp has something she desires.
Her boy.
The skull.
If she unites what was scattered, she will let the revenants of Wyatt Earp loose and set them free of the Ghost River Triangle.
She will kill the girl.
Come the Witching Hour, Constance will be - upon you.
- Oh, I'll be waiting for her.
No! She's too strong.
You must warn Waverly, and you take her away.
You go! I waited three lifetimes dreaming of ways to kill that witch.
- There's only one way to do so.
- Well, you tell me.
First, I need your word.
That you will take Waverly and you will flee.
Now.
You save your vendetta for another night.
Oh, I so swear.
OK.
First, you need to collect what is of her flesh hair, blood.
Dipped in it, this gallows silk will lessen her powers.
It will bind her.
But you need to be patient when you hunt her.
She's vulnerable only in the time following the Witching Hour.
The Reckoning.
No.
Doc? Oh, it ain't nothing but a north wind and some sneaky whisky jacks.
Now, I believe I was about to give your friends a lesson in bluffing.
Ah, eww! Yeah, they say you get used to the smell.
I spent a summer's probation on roadkill removal.
Pfft! This is nothing.
And here she is.
Joyce Arbour.
She kind of looks like you, Wynonna.
Jesus Christ! Who did this? - Someone who knew what they're doing.
- Dude! This is a morgue, wear a bell or something, OK? Sorry.
Once a ninja, always a ninja.
Plus I forget I'm wearing these cotton balls for shoes.
They help absorb the smell.
But you two pretty ladies don't care about that.
Um, I'm Dr.
Reggie, the unlucky SOB who has to make sure the dead don't rise again.
You suck at your job.
Uh, excuse me? Never mind.
Did you do this autopsy report? Uh If I'd done this, I wouldn't have misspelled "breasts.
" I can tell you something about the body.
Did my own examination.
Anything unusual or creepy about the wounds - or the way she died? - Well, she died because humans can't survive when their organs are removed.
She was alive when he took them out?! Correct.
But the incision isn't what killed her.
He drugged her, hooked her up to an IV, a blood bag, just like any surgeon would doing open heart or intestinal surgery.
But here is the uber-weird part, the wounds were cauterized as they were made.
So he cut her open with something hot? Like lightsaber hot.
Hellfire hot.
I need your word that you will take Waverly and you will flee.
Now.
You save the vendetta for another night.
Oh, I so swear.
Woohoo! Alright, so you remove the organs if you're gonna sell them on the black market.
Why would you take 'em out and then put 'em back in? Maybe somebody was looking for something.
You keep looking at her neck.
Yeah, there's a welt.
Dude, I saw on the photos it's the shape of a spade, like on a deck of cards.
Sweet crickets! I missed that entirely.
What would cause that? Well, she was hit by something in the shape of a spade, right? I mean, sure, yeah.
Or it could have been prolonged pressure.
Did, uh, you study forensics? Someone just went into the cooler.
You guys come alone? I don't know, did we? There are more than one way of getting inside the cooler? Uh, yeah.
Rear exit.
Alright, I got it.
Don't shoot me, Earp.
Nicole! OK, I get it, right? MacGilly sent you.
Haze the new guy? Real original.
The door was locked, I couldn't get in.
Jesus, Wynonna.
I can't beg your forgiveness, but I can assure you the best way to protect Waverly Earp is to put that witch in the ground.
Did you make that cake? Yeah, it was my aunt's recipe and then What's upstairs? Wynonna's grow op? - We don't go up there! - Oh, geeze, relax.
Honestly, Waverly, you've gotten so weird.
Sorry.
It's just, we use it for storage, that's all.
Uh-huh? Whatever.
I'm gonna go bum a cigarette off Henry.
- Special delivery.
- Oh Em Gee, bitch! - You did hire a stripper?! - Uh, no, - I-I just have a package.
- Is it a big package? Woohoo! Huh! Huh! Huh! OK, Magic Mike, - show us your moves.
- Hahaha! Take it off! - Woo! - Hahaha! I think he's local.
This gallows silk will lessen her powers.
Bind her.
She's vulnerable only in the time following the Witching Hour.
Oh, I've waited long enough.
Ugh! Where is the skull, little girl? - Put her down! - That is not sexy, Waverly! Where's Chrissy? So I guess this means you got the promotion, Agent Lucado.
Sit down, Dolls.
Look, I know things have started slow.
But I've submitted dozens, dozens of detailed reports.
Wherein we learn your only recruits are a cocktail waitress and a criminal.
Yeah, and that criminal's Wynonna Earp.
"Give me three months," you said, "and I'll deliver evidence of a demon conspiracy the likes of which Black Badge has never seen.
" Your three months are up, and I've seen all of this before.
- Sir, if I may - I have a follow-up examination with the board.
I'll return later with your new orders and deployment.
You speak - Swedish, right? - Look, I've got specimens in the lab right now.
Human remains that have been mummified by revenant saliva.
And do we think they will be any less disappointing? Nobody keeps booze in here, Wynonna! Except you.
You want to tell me what the hell is going on? Yeah.
Dry morgue air is murder on the schnoz.
Bullshit! I think somebody's trying to scare you, toy with you.
Why? I picked up this case, like, an hour ago, - how could - It be connected to you? Yeah, I would really like to know that too.
People getting eaten by something? Call Wynonna.
Guy gets murdered by a man in a mirror? Yeah, Wynonna to the rescue.
Black Badge specializes in cases that are, uh, too complex for rookie flatfoots, so it makes sense that you're a bit confused.
- I'm not.
- Alternately I don't suppose you have a deck of playing cards in this utility belt, huh? Excuse me? How do I know you didn't double back to mess with the body? Yeah, you're awfully interested in me and my sister.
Maybe I should be grilling the shit out of you.
Maybe you're the crazy one.
You of all people should know better than to try to make me question my sanity.
Hallgassa meg a szavaimat, istenekaz emberek.
I just killed someone! It was him or you.
A foldrol az eg a kovek.
What were you shooting at out there? The Stone Witch.
The woman who made me what I am.
Constance Clootie? Funny how the woman that you were looking for happens to find you.
Here.
Your Murder House's reception is balls! En vagyok a ko boszorkany.
En vagyok a feltamadas.
- After she made me ageless - Ageless?! She stuck me at the bottom of an old well - to spend my immortality - Immorta? Rotting in the ground.
And then Wynonna showed up to retrieve Wyatt's gun and left me a rope dangling, - and here I am.
- Dangling? Are you both high? OK.
Well, she might be able to get onto our land, but she's not coming into our house, unless we invite her.
Hagyjuk ezeket, mint lesben feltamadni Hozzam.
Hogy nem.
You are just as mental as your sister! Yes, OK! Stephanie, you're right, it's all true! I am a freak! - Wynonna's a freak! Doc's a freak! - Hey now! But I'm a freak who knows that the most lethal place to stab someone bigger than you is through the ear.
Yes, I'm the freak who knows that witches can't cross lines of salt, which is pretty handy right now.
And I'm the freak who, six months ago, would have been too polite to mention that that big ole diamond on your finger, not only is it cubic zirconium, but it is ugly as shit! - You bitch! - So for once in your life, please, just be smarter than you look and just shut up! - What the hell now! - Oh, my god! Oh, my god! You can't kill him 'cause he's already dead! - Go out! - Oh, my god! OK, so she can make zombies.
Yeah, that's neat.
Wait, you said Bobo has two skeletons, and the skull is part of one of them.
Oh, she's trying to resurrect them! Where did you hide it? No, I'm not supposed to give it to anybody, OK? Look, I'm its keeper.
It's somewhere safe.
What a pity we can't say the same thing about ourselves.
Screw you satanist party poopers! No, wait! Stephanie, don't! - Steph, don't! - It's too late.
It's too late.
Christ, she got the lady blacksmith.
Oh, my god! And we gave her Steph.
That was unfortunate.
Alright.
OK.
Oh, God! Dolls.
Uh, shit's really hit the fan.
Prfft! This last guy, the last of the Seven, he's just he's toying with me.
It's like when I'm in the presence of his work, it's just all goosebumps and nosebleeds, and I could really use your help right now.
It's Wynonna by the way.
Wynonna Earp.
Dolls! Are you OK? Wave, Wave, slow down.
What do you mean, you killed a stripper? - OK, Wynonna's on her way.
- Splendid! How far do you think we are from the jeep? Too far.
They'd be on us as quick as devils on sin.
Dynamite.
Now, in my experience, dynamites solves all manners of problems.
They can't kill us if they're in pieces.
Oh yeah, sure, sure, dynamite.
I'll just go get some from the kitchen.
No, Doc! These things are under a spell, OK? They're puppets, we have to cut their strings.
Well, their puppet master is a witch who will kill you, soon as look at you or worse.
Doc, why did she give you immortality - only to throw you down a well? - I Oh, God! Ah! OK, we Uh, we have some coyote traps in the attic, maybe some more shotgun shells.
Desperate times.
You toss them down to me, then you stay put.
We'll have a better chance from higher ground.
- Doc.
- If they break through, I'll be hot on the heels.
Now get it! OK.
OK.
Oh, my God, Chrissy! I'm sorry.
I know upstairs is off-limits.
Dad always said, "Just put as many people between you and the intruders as you can.
" I'm done with this.
This is Willa's room.
I mean, - was, was Willa's room.
- I'm so sorry, Waves.
Did you call my dad? Did you call the police? Wynonna's on her way.
She's the best chance we got.
OK, just please, please just trust me, Chrissy.
Geez.
OK, I do.
I always have.
Do you remember that time when we were 12, and the boys, they tried to lock me in the porta-potty? And you, you took a stick and you came out and you started whacking the leader in the balls.
Champ Hardy.
God, he was a dick and three quarters back then.
You never stayed out of a fight, Waves.
You were the one who always knew how to win it.
By any means necessary.
Willa would be really proud of her little sister.
I know Wynonna is.
Stone Witch.
She's just another bully.
She said she's sorry she lied.
And then she just left out the window.
Chrissy, what was in the box? Curious, I gave them no command to spare you.
Give me my boy.
He's not just your boy anymore.
The Blacksmith bound him to me.
Clever.
But will he protect your friends? What? No.
Wait, no.
All I wanna know is why you trapped Doc, why you hate him.
Because he was loved by Wyatt Earp, and Wyatt Earp slaughtered my sons.
No, if Wyatt killed them, then they would have resurrected - like the other revenants.
- Revenants are human, my boys were are something more.
That explains the overbite.
There's an evil in this world far greater than your revenants, Waverly Earp.
- It's coming.
- Yeah? Well, then we'll stop it.
OK? Haven't you read a romance novel lately? Heroes always win.
Oh, you want to be a hero? Very well, give me the skull or I will take it from your lifeless hands.
Come and get it.
- Aaah! - Nooo! You will die! Someone will.
She's mine! Oh! Damn her to Hell and below.
Can you tell me what that was all about? That was my Seven.
And probably my greatest chance of bringing her down.
You best see to your sister.
Wave.
Hey, you OK? I'll never play piano again.
Do you play piano? - No.
- No.
That was really brave.
Stupid but very brave.
I have something I need to say.
Mattie tried to warn you, and you didn't listen.
Because you knew that if you told me about Constance, I'd take the skull and leave.
You used us as bait.
The witch is all I want in this world.
Thinking of her at the end of a gun is the only thing that kept me alive in that well.
Kept me sane.
I'm starting to think sanity's overrated.
See, whereas I underestimated I mean, I forgot about the other stuff, the living stuff.
I understand if you hate me.
I don't hate you, Doc.
You're the scorpion, I'm the frog.
I'm not sure I follow.
Just Google it.
I suppose this bears repeating to Wynonna.
At least, be man enough to tell her yourself.
You do love her after all.
Love? Well, that's a bit rich.
There.
You wanted to know what your tell at poker is? Simple.
You're always, always lying.
Your sister OK? Yeah, well, she's being Waverly.
Yeah, well, Chrissy says she scissored a stripper.
So? Any idea why your homestead was targeted? I mean, besides the fact that it's yours.
You know what, we should get some breakfast.
I could murder a sack of pancakes.
Then we'll talk, really talk.
OK, you're gonna help me understand why some of these cases are a little too complex for local flatfoots? I'll do my best.
Your boss gonna be OK with that? My boss isn't here.
- OK.
- Guess you're my ride.
- Come here, sweetie.
- Thanks, Waves.
Let's get you warm.
- Eight hours! - Mm-hmm.
Most people would have left.
Well, you should know by now that I'm not most people.
Mm-hmm.
As expected, your samples didn't prove conclusively there are demons in Purgatory, and they sure as hell don't prove the existence of revenants.
Yeah, If you knew what we were dealing with Yes.
If I knew.
But it seems you can't show me.
I'm shutting your division down.
We will of course have to deal with your recruits.
Just how much intel have they been privy to, - would you say? - I have something else.
- Dolls, enough! - Not a revenant or a demon.
- Never before documented.
- I'm listening.
Ah She's mine! Oh! Well, you learn something new every day.
Wynonna!