AJ and the Queen (2020) s01e08 Episode Script
Baton Rouge
1 [TWINKLING CHIMES.]
[CHILDREN PLAYING.]
[AJ.]
Come on! Higher! [WHOOPS.]
Push me harder! Harder! Is that all you got? Higher! [AJ.]
Swinging is kind of awesome.
I guess I should have tried it when I was a kid.
The problem is, if you want to go higher, you need someone to help out.
And my mother was more concerned about getting high herself.
- [AJ.]
Higher! - [DRAMATIC ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYING.]
[AJ WHOOPS.]
- Whoa! - [SCREAMS IN SLOW-MOTION.]
Help! - [HORN HONKING.]
- [ROBERT.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Keep strong.
Keep strong.
Out of my way! Little girl hurt! - Oh, my God.
We're almost there.
- Dude, this is stupid.
It's no big deal.
Hi.
We need help now.
- I think she broke her arm.
- It's just a scratch.
- No, it's not - He's such a drama queen.
No, I'm not.
I heard it crack.
- Honey, can you breathe? - [AJ.]
It's just my arm, Die-die.
- It's pronounced "Dee-dee.
" - You should make that much clearer.
[ROBERT.]
Look, it's a lovely name.
Now, can we get this child seen? - She's in pain.
- I said, I'm not.
Sir, we take critically injured patients first.
Unless there's a bullet hole somewhere I can't see, she's gonna have to wait like everyone else.
Fill this out, and we'll get to y'all as soon as we can.
[UNDER BREATH.]
See God in everyone.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Thank you.
Come on.
- [AJ.]
I'm leaving.
- No, you're staying.
Come on.
Have a seat.
Not that one.
No, not that one.
- Pick one.
- They're all filthy.
I'm trying to decide between hepatitis or meningitis.
[AJ.]
I've been in a hospital twice.
Both times were a disaster.
Once I was taken away, and once I was born.
They say hospitals are the place most people get sick.
Then we should go.
It doesn't even hurt.
You're in shock.
You can't feel it because of the adrenaline.
You know, when I twisted my ankle in my Alexander McQueen lobster heels, I couldn't feel it for days.
Nothing's wrong with my arm.
Can you move your fingers? Other hand.
[WINCES.]
There.
- You're not moving them.
- Yes, I am.
They're just moving so fast that the human eye can't even see it.
We're staying.
[SIGHS.]
AJ, this is a big deal.
Do you think we should call your mom? You crazy? No way.
Don't you think a mom should know if her kid broke her arm? Yeah.
And a mom should know if her kid went to school today or ate breakfast or had a place to live.
We're not calling her.
Okay, okay.
[SIGHS.]
This is all my fault.
I shouldn't have pushed you so hard.
[AJ.]
It's okay.
Guess I did kind of ask for it.
Well, that is true.
[ROBERT.]
Oh, ma'am, I know how that sounded, but it was a swing.
And it was an accident.
But tens across the board on that cat's paw stitch.
That's perfection.
See that? We shouldn't be here.
How are you gonna explain me and you? They'll go straight to sex trafficking.
What? I read.
I have never seen you read.
I've been read by you, but I've never seen you read.
Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do.
Nothing good ever happens in a hospital.
- [AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER ECHOES.]
She's gonna be okay, right? Can we get some help for my friend Louis, please? - What happened? - We were performing onstage, - and he collapsed.
- [NURSE.]
Okay.
Wait here.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON PA.]
["HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS" PLAYING.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Next year, all our troubles Will be out of sight [DOLL SQUEAKS.]
Have yourself a merry little Christmas - Make the yuletide gay - This shit is sad, henny! Oh, I hate sad movies.
Where's the remote? - Oh! [GASPS.]
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Ah! I better eat my feelings.
[CRYING.]
- Once again as in olden days - Who you callin' old, bitch? - Happy golden days of yore - [LOUIS.]
Judy's right.
I'm old and single.
[SOBS.]
- [DOLL SQUEAKING.]
- Faithful friends who are dear to us - Will be near to us - [AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
[LOUIS.]
Doughnuts ain't doing it, bitch.
[SOBS.]
What did Santa bring me? - Oh! - [AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
[LOUIS.]
The only thing I like better than white cake is white boys.
- If the fates allow - [LOUIS.]
Mm! Mm [THUDS LOUDLY.]
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS AND LAUGHS.]
Oh no, bitch.
You not gon' upstage me.
Cocoa! Cocoa! - Louis? - [AUDIENCE MUTTERING.]
[WALTER GEOFFREY HOWLING ON PHONE.]
How long are we gonna be sitting here? Till that's a full-on sweater coat? Now before anyone gets mad, I just got a big raise.
- [RECEPTIONIST.]
Oh! - Kidding.
I brought doughnuts.
Christian, are you trying to kill my diet? What are you fussing about, Deed? You're gorgeous, you don't need a diet.
Maybe just half.
- [NURSE.]
Who's gonna eat the other half? - Me.
[AJ.]
I'm hungry.
See if you can steal me one of those doughnuts.
I can fake a seizure or somethin'.
Or I could ask.
Like a person.
[NURSE.]
I'm going to Radiology.
Hi.
Sorry to bother you, but can I have one of those? The little one over there could really use one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Please, help yourself.
Best doughnuts in Louisiana.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, speaking as a fellow sister.
I mean, you're gay, I'm gay.
Oh, I didn't realize it was that obvious.
[CHUCKLES.]
I took a wild guess.
You think you could help get her seen faster? She's in a lot of pain and we've been here for over an hour, and I got a show to get to tonight.
What kind of show? Uh, at Unzipped in downtown Baton Rouge.
I'm a drag performer.
Oh, my Lord.
Are you like a professional drag queen? Guilty.
So like I said, you think You know, I occasionally do a little drag myself.
Oh, really? That's great.
Totally amateur.
I would never call myself a real drag queen.
- But would you look at my Insta? - I don't really have I can't believe I'm asking, but maybe you could give me some tips? I don't really have time right now, but Ooh.
Okay Well, um, Tammy Faye is a real classic.
- I know! - Maybe a bit done, but uh I should give her up.
I just love her.
Yeah.
I-I'd be happy to help, but maybe in return you can do something for me.
How about this one? I'm a mess, right? Oh.
Um The tuck is a bit meaty on that.
I know.
Your eye goes right to it.
How about this one? - Hey, um, what's your name? - Patty Cakes.
- No, I - Oh, my real name! [CHUCKLES.]
Christian.
Well, Christian drag is really all about attitude.
That's all you need to know.
When you walk into a room, say hello to everyone, but always act like there's someone better behind them.
Well, that that's gonna change everything.
Well, good.
Glad I can help.
But like I said, one hand washes the other, right? If things around here take much longer, I might need a favor from you.
I'd be honored.
Took you long enough.
Was that a date? Glad to see the break didn't affect your bitchiness.
- Try not to get it all over your top.
- Mm-hmm.
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Ow! - Damn it.
- [SIGHS.]
I think the adrenaline just wore off.
[PANTING.]
Okay, I've had it.
You need to see that girl! - Sir, we'll get to you as soon as we can.
- Not good enough, Didi! That girl is in pain over there.
You said it would just be a while.
It's been over an hour.
Don't you understand? That child is in pain! And no one seems to be doing anything about it! And yes, I'm channeling Shirley MacLaine.
And yes, it's something I always wanted to do, but under different circumstances! Sir, we do not appreciate your tone.
You know what? An hour is too long.
I'm so sorry.
We're just so understaffed because of budget cuts, and we're laying off people left and right.
Hell, we're reusing needles.
Just kidding.
You'll get my humor.
Thank you.
- Sorry for the outburst.
- Oh, please.
I love that movie.
"Come to laugh, come to cry, come to terms.
" - What's your name, darling? - AJ.
- Amber Jasmine.
- Oh, pretty Yeah, I was named after a stripper and a racist Disney character.
- [LAUGHS.]
- That's her go-to response.
Well, aren't you adorable? And what exactly is your relationship to this little girl? Ow! Ow, my arm! Oh, you poor thing! Let's get some ice on that arm and take you back to X-ray.
Oh, no, sir, not you.
You just stay right there and fill these forms out first, okay? We need to know everything about this little girl.
Okeydoke.
Right.
And I would know that.
[LADY DANGER EXHALES.]
[DAMIEN SIGHS.]
What are you staring at, buddy? Oh, nothing, I just forgot that I wasn't in New York for a minute.
My bad.
Yeah, your bad.
Okay.
You should be flattered anyone's looking at you.
Standing there with that ugly puss on your face.
Lighten up! Don't tell me to lighten up.
We were supposed to be done after I put it in you.
That was the deal.
And the new deal is, you need 800 bucks to fix your back window.
So as soon as I have those keys, Mommy will give you the cash, and you can go.
Unless you wanna go in the back and have a quickie.
I'm never doing that again.
I feel dirty.
Then I was doing it right.
I have a compact car for Lorraine Bracco.
- Yeah.
- No.
No.
No, no, there's a mistake.
I'm returning a car for Lorraine Bracco.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm picking up a car for Lorraine Bracco.
She's Lorraine Bracco.
I have her credit card.
She's not Lorraine Bracco.
Seth! That's Lorraine Bracco.
We're in Jackson, doing a movie.
Wow.
How long does it take to return a car? I'm gonna miss my flight.
This woman says that she is Lorraine Bracco.
If you're Lorraine Bracco, then how does this woman have your credit card? The question isn't "How does she have my credit card?" Baby, baby, baby, the question is is how could you not know I'm Lorraine Bracco? Sopranos? - Goodfellas? - Rizzoli & Isles.
Who the hell are you? Nobody.
Yeah.
Beat it.
What's your story? Big fan.
[MAN ON PHONE.]
Jackson Police, how can I help? So have a seat here, and I'm gonna see if they're ready for you, okay? Wait.
Can you grab my friend and bring him back here? He gets nervous when he's alone.
You'll see him in just a minute.
Don't worry, honey.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIANNA.]
AJ.
AJ? AJ, honey.
Can I see her? No, sweetie.
She's not awake right now.
- Okay? - [SNIFFLES.]
Um So, your mom's had an overdose, but they got to her in time, okay? [CRYING.]
It's my fault.
I should have called sooner.
No, it's not your fault, baby.
[SNIFFLES.]
It is.
I thought she was just sleeping.
No.
[TIANNA HUSHES.]
No, baby.
It's okay.
You did everything right.
This isn't on you.
Is she gonna die? What? No.
AJ, honey, I told you, they got to her in time.
Everything's gonna be fine.
[AJ SNIFFLES.]
Everything's gonna be fine.
[NURSE.]
Amber Jasmine.
Amber Jasmine.
Sweetie, we're a bit backed up 'cause we're down one X-ray machine.
I told them we needed two or else we would find ourselves in a situation where a little girl's out waiting in the hall.
But did they listen to me? No, ma'am.
They did not.
But I'm gonna get you in there just as soon as I can, dumpling, okay? I'll be back.
[ROBERT.]
Height.
Weight.
They really expect you to know a lot about your kid, huh? Ah, does she look nine or ten to you? You don't know how old she is? Show me a woman who doesn't lie about her age now and then.
I know I do.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
[AJ.]
I guess the Internet was right.
1-2-3-4 is not a secure password.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
Come on, Lady Glitter Butterfly Top, just answer the question.
[SCOFFS, SIGHS.]
Excuse me.
My phone just went dead.
Do you have a power cord? [SOFTLY.]
No.
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[BRACCO.]
Thanks, Chris.
Okay.
Do I get, uh Do I get a car and an upgrade? [CLERK.]
No, ma'am.
- [BRACCO.]
Do we get the car for free? - [ASSISTANT.]
I think we'd better.
[POLICE SIREN CHIRPS.]
- [BRACCO.]
There she goes.
- Bye! - Bye.
- Have a great summer.
AJ, why are you just sitting out here? They haven't seen you yet? Oh, no, they did.
They did.
We can go.
I'm fine.
They said I should probably have a mammogram every year and watch for signs of depression.
Sit back down.
You and I have something to talk about.
[SIGHS, INHALES SHARPLY.]
Why didn't you tell me that your mother has been texting you? Give me that.
I told you, don't touch my stuff.
You never learn.
There must be 50 texts here.
She is freaking out.
You need to text her back.
Why? It's a trap.
She acts as if she cares, and then I text her, then she's too high to even remember.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
AJ, I am not your mother.
I know that.
Do you know how I know that? 'Cause you're not high.
I'm just saying, this isn't my place.
And she knows things about you I don't.
At least text her that you're okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm in a hospital, and my arm's broken 'cause you pushed me off a swing.
So it is broken? They told you that? No, but it's really hurting right now, so just give me my phone! Okay, we're not done with this.
Or this.
Okay.
- [SIGHS.]
How old are you? - How old are you? That's low.
I'm just trying to help.
Ten.
And birth date? June 19th.
What? No! You are not a Gemini.
You don't have two sides.
I mean, I've seen the side that's serious and restless, but I've yet to see a side that's sociable, communicative, and ready for fun.
Maybe there's some Taurus rising somewhere.
All right, dumpling, you're up next.
Robert, please, we have to get out of here.
What's wrong? Why are you so scared? 'Cause they're gonna call someone.
What? No.
They're gonna fix your arm, and then we're gonna get out of here.
Dude, I've been here before.
That's what they do when the mother's not here.
They call someone and then take you away.
[NURSE.]
Oh, hey, you.
- H how did you get back here? - I just walked back.
Yep, hospital security out the window as well.
I just needed a little help from AJ on this form.
I forgot my readers.
Isn't it horrible, getting old? - Mm-hmm.
- Do you have ghost finger yet? I mean, my iPhone doesn't even know - I'm touching it.
- [ROBERT LAUGHS.]
No.
My fingers retain their youthful moisture.
Well, looks like somebody's from the city.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, Carlos, can you take Amber here back in, while I help this gentleman fill out his forms? Yeah.
It's fine.
I'll be right here.
I hope I'll be.
- Could you take her bag? - Yes.
So let's go find a good place with a lot of bright light - for our old, ancient eyes.
- [LAUGHS.]
[NURSE.]
You know what goes next, don't you? - [LOUDLY.]
Hearing! - [CHUCKLES.]
- [NURSE.]
And does she have any allergies? - Uh, to good manners.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, you know what? I don't know.
I mean, I wouldn't roll her in peanuts, but that doesn't help you.
Why don't you put down "everything.
" Isn't that safer? Well, we really do need to know.
Is there someone we can call? Where's the mother? The mother's not really available.
And what is your relationship to AJ? A little strained at first, but we're finding our thing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Kidding, not kidding.
Okay.
Here's the deal.
I was on my way to a pageant in Texas She's a pageant girl? Bless her heart.
I never would have known that.
I know.
Spray on that tan, throw her a baton, and she's a different person.
I mean, it makes sense.
She's a Gemini.
Oh, my goodness.
And your relationship to her is? Pageant coach.
I'm her pageant coach.
I run the Little Divas Studio in New York.
Uh, don't try to Google us.
We're invitation only.
Well, then I've just gotta ask you because I have a granddaughter who's been in three of those things, and she has never even placed.
And let me get my Instagram right now.
- What do you think? - [ROBERT.]
Ooh.
Oh! She's adorable.
Maybe a smaller flipper? Uh, this one seems a little too big for her mouth.
Well, those are her real teeth.
And they're beautiful.
Ah, she's living her truth.
Let's see.
Is it the hair then? Are we just not getting that right? The wig is a tad big.
Her neck seems to be struggling to support it.
That might be why she's grimacing a little bit.
[SIGHS.]
I just wish she would win something.
Carolanne.
Is she having fun? Oh, she's having the time of her life.
She just feels so beautiful.
Then I think she's already won.
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go check on my little pageant girl.
Oh! Wait, you never told me about the mother.
Can anyone help me? [BRIANNA GROANS.]
I need help.
[MOANS.]
Hold on.
Hold on.
[GROANS.]
Wait, baby.
- Just wait.
- Are you all right, honey? I'm in labor.
I mean, I think I am.
Um, my water broke.
Okay, well, let's get you back there.
Are you with anyone? [GROANS.]
It's just me.
- Is there someone I can call? - [CRYING.]
No.
No, it's just me.
I'm just by myself.
Okay, well, that's not true.
I'm here, and I'm gonna take good care of you, okay? - [BRIANNA.]
Okay.
- Come on.
[GROANS.]
- Get me a chair.
We need a chair here.
- Not yet, baby.
- [NURSE.]
It's gonna be okay.
- [BRIANNA INHALES SHARPLY.]
[NURSE.]
There you go.
Just sit down.
Excellent, keep breathing.
- Keep breathing.
- [MOANS.]
- [NURSE.]
What's your name, honey? - Brianna.
[NURSE.]
Brianna.
[RECEPTIONIST.]
See him? He's right there in the red dress shirt.
I don't know how I missed him.
All right, I'll fix it.
[CLERK.]
Hi.
Well, there you are.
[CHUCKLES.]
Didi told me you slipped right by her.
- Good old Didi.
- [CLERK.]
Yeah.
I'm Alyssa from Payments and Insurance, and we're gonna need to get your card.
- My card? - [ALYSSA.]
Uh-huh.
Uh, insurance or credit? Both! Do y'all take cash? Hey, excuse me, bro.
Sorry to bother you, but I'm out of gas and I don't have a back window.
- Is there a chance I could borrow money? - Sorry, I can't help.
Dude, I'm not this guy.
I don't I don't beg for money.
Even though I know that's what I'm doing right now, but I'm not usually this guy, you know? Hey.
You know what, man? I hope you're never this guy.
'Cause this guy's a tough place to be! [TIRES SQUEAL.]
That's it.
I'm done with her, and her stuff! What? What the hell is this? Shit.
Come here.
Come here.
Come on.
No way.
That sneaky bitch.
Hey.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
All right, not too bad.
You got a small fracture of the ulna.
It's this bone here.
Now, how in the heck did that happen? That dude I came in with pushed me too hard.
- Oh.
- On a swing.
It was my first time or whatever.
You want to grab him? I feel like he's getting into trouble out there.
She came in with a tall, fancy black man.
You know, I just kept racking my brain trying to figure out the connection, and it turns out he's her pageant coach from New York.
[GASPS.]
And you do pageants? What? I could be a beauty queen.
If I put on lipstick and shit.
Doesn't seem to have the question and answer part quite down.
No, she does not.
- [DOCTOR.]
Sure about this pageant story? - Well, that's what her coach said.
- And what's this coach's name? - Dumpling, what's your coach's name? [MAN.]
Robert Lee? I'm looking for someone with Louis Bell.
Here.
Here.
I'm with Louis.
I'm sorry I'm dressed like this.
I was doing a show, and I'm Judy Garland.
Yeah, I get it.
I've been working the ER in Greenwich Village since I was 20.
I've seen at least four Judy Garlands in my day.
One of them was the actual Judy Garland.
How's Louis? - Are you his partner? - No, just a friend.
Oh, um Does he have family? Oh, my God.
[CRYING.]
Oh, my God.
Is he dead? No.
[RUBY SIGHS.]
You can rest assured that he's he's not dead.
But um, he has had a stroke.
[GASPS.]
What kind of stroke.
Is it bad? It was a bad one.
Oh, God.
His diabetes, of course, is a risk factor.
This is my fault.
I made him eat all these doughnuts.
He kept saying, "It's too on the nose.
" And I said, "No, it's funny.
" I don't think this is about a couple of doughnuts.
Is he gonna be okay? Well, we do have him stabilized, and the very good news is that his speech and motor skills seem unaffected.
But uh, there is another issue.
The stroke affected both sides of his brain.
Now, that's very rare, but when it happens, we're dealing with blindness.
He's blind temporarily till the blood leaves his brain or wherever? Well I'm not gonna sugarcoat this He's blind forever? Most likely.
[SIGHS.]
[DOCTOR.]
All right, kiddo.
Looks like someone is going home with a cast.
Oh, can I have one of those plaster ones? They make for better weapons.
Isn't she a character? No, sweetie, we use soft casts now.
- First thing, I want to take a look.
- Ow! - [CAROLANNE.]
Oh.
- Ooh.
Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Fair enough.
I came in a little fast.
Now, I'm just gonna take a look at - Oh! - Whoa! [LAUGHS.]
Oof.
All right.
Fool me once [LAUGHS.]
All right, let's try this another way.
AJ, I'm gonna be straight with you.
I need to set your arm, and it's gonna hurt just a little bit.
But something tells me you can take it.
- Ready? - Yeah.
No! - Can I get a Coke or something first? - [CAROLANNE.]
Be right up.
[AJ.]
And not diet.
- [DAMIEN ON PHONE.]
What's up? - [LADY DANGER.]
Don't hang up! This is my one call.
I cannot believe you left me behind, you little bitch.
Yeah, I'm a little bitch.
And you know what you are? Yeah, in jail, and I need you to bail me out.
Look, I have a thousand dollars in the side pocket of my wheelie bag.
Only a thousand? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it looks like, I don't know, like a hundred thousand? Yeah, I found the false bottom.
You been looking in the mirror? [LAUGHS.]
Goodbye, Miss Bracco.
[LADY DANGER.]
Look, don't hang up.
Look, I wasn't trying to play you.
I always carry all my money with me.
I grew up on an island with five active volcanoes.
But that money isn't to spend.
It's for a rainy day.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Now it's raining? 'Cause I've been washing the same two pairs of Versace underwear in a sink for seven weeks.
Pretty sure that's as rainy as it gets.
Bail me out, and half of it is yours.
No.
No.
All of it is mine.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Oh, yeah, while you just sitting there, rotting in that Jackson jail, I'mma be halfway to Cuba with a whole lot of new underwear.
And you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about that expensive kind with the pouch on the front.
Don't you dare hang up! [DIAL TONE BUZZES.]
Wow.
That little bitch did hang up.
[OFFICER.]
All right, come on.
[CELL DOOR BUZZES.]
You're in my spot.
[ALYSSA CHUCKLES.]
- [GASPS.]
Well, hello there.
- Hi.
I see we're going with cash.
[ROBERT.]
Yes, cash.
And it's in a baggie.
Money's filthy, and I'm a bit of a clean freak.
You and me both.
That's why I can't go to the movies anymore.
'Cause of the lice.
[LAUGHS.]
Girl, another time and place, and we'd be having coffee about that.
- In a paper cup.
- Of course.
[LAUGHS.]
You're so funny! [SIGHS.]
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
I mean, I wouldn't normally, but I just don't have any African-American friends to talk to.
Okay My daughter is seeing this African-American boy and I just don't know if he's a good one.
Would you mind taking a look at my Instagram and telling me your opinion? And you think because I'm black I would know? No.
That's so silly of me.
Of course you wouldn't.
No, I mean, you can't look at a picture and tell if, you know, Ooh! Ah, ah! Ooh! [CHUCKLES.]
No, ma'am.
Uh-uh.
- Send him packing, girl.
- Ah.
I'm not just saying that 'cause he's black.
I'm getting a real shady vibe that transcends racial profiling.
- See, I did too! - Mm.
Okay, so I'm just gonna tell her that this isn't racist.
This is coming from an African-American man.
Word.
I'm gonna have to count this and get you a receipt.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- It's it's all there.
You can - [AJ.]
Help.
That's AJ.
Sir, sir, sir, I'm afraid I can't let you go back there.
What are you talking about? I need to be in there.
There's some concern about your relationship to the child.
What is it? Exactly? I'm currently taking care of her.
He didn't even know how old she was.
And he said he hit her.
I pushed her.
In a swing.
[ALYSSA.]
Loretta, he's fine.
Carolanne said that he's her pageant coach.
Yes, and as her pageant coach, I really should be with her.
I'm sure we can figure this out later.
I think we need to figure it out now.
Just follow me, sir.
Sir.
Come with me, and we'll figure this all out.
Well, I guess I don't have a choice.
Well, can someone at least give her this doll? I'm afraid not.
This way, please.
[ROBERT.]
Well, what about her screaming? She's in pain.
[BRIANNA SCREAMS.]
[NURSE 1.]
Push, honey.
- Just one more big push.
- I can't.
[NURSE 2.]
Just a bit more, and we're home.
[NURSE 1.]
Yes, you can.
You got this, Brianna.
- [CRYING AND PANTING.]
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
[DOCTOR.]
Okay, let's stop pushing for a minute.
Looks like we have just a little deceleration.
What's that? Is something wrong with my baby? - [NURSE 1.]
No, no.
- I didn't do anything bad, I swear.
I swear I was clean the whole time.
I swear.
[NURSE 1.]
Sweetie, everything's fine.
This happens.
- [BRIANNA GROANS.]
- [DOCTOR.]
Okay, heart rate is back.
We're good to go.
- [NURSE 2.]
You're doing so good, Brianna.
- [NURSE 1.]
Hell, better than I did.
Halfway through, I punched my husband in the balls and said, "That's it.
You do the rest.
" I would love to punch someone right now.
[NURSE 2.]
I'll bet you would.
Okay, come on.
Give me one more.
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS.]
[CAROLANNE.]
Now, see? That didn't hurt so bad.
Keep telling yourself that.
Well, thanks.
That's what I'm here for.
Oh, uh Hold on a sec.
I can't let you go until you tell us where your mom is.
Darn.
I never did get that information from her pageant coach.
AJ [SIGHS.]
is there something you're not telling us? Something about, uh, how you broke your arm? How come you won't say where your mama is? I can't.
Why not, honey? Are you embarrassed about something? We get all kinds of mamas in here.
Last week, we even got a mom who's an exotic dancer.
Yeah, I'm just so embarrassed.
She's that.
She's a stripper.
I mean exotic dancer.
Oh! Does she work at that place off interstate 10? What's the name of that place? Booby Trap.
I don't I don't go in, I drive right by.
- [AJ.]
Mm-hmm.
- On my way home.
It's a big neon sign.
You can't miss it.
Well, yeah.
That's where she works.
And you're right.
I'm just so embarrassed.
Well, that is nothing to be ashamed about.
A paycheck is a paycheck, and good for her for getting you in pageants.
We just wanna let her know you're okay.
What's her name? Destiny.
Okay, good.
So you just wait right here.
I'm gonna go call over there right now.
And don't you worry about a thing.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Here you go.
Have a seat, little one.
And don't move 'til we come get you.
[WOMAN OVER PA.]
Neuro resident to pre-op.
Neuro resident to pre-op.
[TIANNA.]
Shit.
Okay, okay, okay.
- Hi, AJ.
How are you doing? - Fine.
Just waiting for my mother.
Honey, I'm sure you're really worried, but you need to come with us now.
Okay? Just until your mom feels better.
I don't even know her.
It's just gonna be for a little while, I promise.
Come.
Come on, sweetie.
- [AJ.]
My mom.
- [SOCIAL WORKER.]
It's okay.
Just for a little while.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Will you tell Destiny the hospital's located at 366 Richard Boulevard? And we'll be here waiting for her, okay? Thank you again for your help.
Bye-bye.
Roberta, what did you ask me to do about five minutes ago Mr.
Lee, I need to know where that girl's mother is.
I can't release her to you.
I'm Well, safe to say, you've read Becoming, so I'm gonna tell you how AJ and I became who we are.
[SIGHS.]
AJ's mother, she's not doing very good.
She has a drug problem.
And, yes, I'm not her pageant coach.
I'm a drag performer on a cross-country tour, and AJ stowed away in my RV.
So, long story short, I'm taking her to Texas to live with her grandfather, who, I guess, is off the grid.
So, girl, I hope this clears things up.
It does.
[SIGHS.]
I'm calling Social Services.
What? No.
You can't do that to her again.
That's what she's running away from.
Mr.
Lee, you have no paperwork, and there's no mother.
You have to understand my position.
Knock-knock, Loretta.
Good news.
We found the mother.
Sweet little thing finally told us that her mother is an exotic dancer at that club off interstate 10.
She was so embarrassed.
And she does get embarrassed real easy.
That's why I had to tell that crazy story about being a drag performer on a cross-country tour.
I was trying to protect her privacy.
I mean, she's a local, and, girl, you know how people talk.
Yes.
- Has the mother been contacted? - She'll be here in 30 minutes.
Oh! Good.
Good.
So in 30 minutes, everyone will know everything.
So I'll wait for her mother out front.
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
He's a character.
[CHUCKLING.]
Christian! Oh, hey.
How's everything working out? [SIGHS.]
To be honest there have been some hitches.
I'm sorry.
Is there anything I can do? There is, and it's big, and I'm asking this as one drag queen to another.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I'm not a real drag queen.
If a man is brave enough to put on some lipstick and a wig and tell the world he's pretty, then he gets to call himself a drag queen.
And you are a drag queen, baby.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I thought I was the healer.
[ROBERT CHUCKLES.]
Now, about that favor.
I need to borrow something of yours.
- ["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
- Uh! Just walk it off Hi, hon.
You one of the temps? [IN JAMAICAN ACCENT.]
Sorry me late.
Somebody park in me spot.
That don't supposed to fly.
[WHISPERS.]
AJ, we gotta bounce.
[GASPS.]
Who you, man? Cover your puppy.
But I'm here for my puppy.
Girl Just walk it off This is ER Treatment Room B.
This is Darlene, who runs the show, and, uh, this is Angie, who's helping us out today.
- [NURSE.]
Hi.
- [ANGIE.]
Hey.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Hi, baby.
They told me I had a stroke.
Biggest face crack ever.
There ain't nothing cute about this.
I can't see.
Doctor says I might be blind forever.
We don't know that yet, right? We don't know what's gonna happen in a week or in a month.
I mean, you just gotta believe, right? [SIGHS.]
Robert.
Robert.
What am I gonna do? [SIGHS.]
You're gonna Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Next year, all our troubles Will be out of sight Really, bitch? A blind joke? [CHUCKLES.]
Too soon? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Would you do me a favor? - Anything.
Would you see where my wig got to? - Oh, bitch.
- [LOUIS CHUCKLES.]
- Are you still in drag? - [RUBY.]
Mm-hmm.
I think I smell wet crushed velvet.
[RUBY.]
They do say your senses get heightened.
[SIGHS.]
Well, let's hope so.
I don't know what you heard, but I only drive by that club on my way home.
It's right off Route 10.
[AJ.]
I kinda always found it hard to depend on people.
Not really having a family taught me that.
- Hi, baby.
- [NURSE 1.]
Here she is.
- [NURSE 2.]
She's a beauty.
- Hi.
[GASPS.]
Hi.
Oh.
- She's healthy.
She's healthy, right? - [NURSE 1.]
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you did real good, honey.
[BRIANNA.]
Thank you.
Thank you so much for everything.
You guys were so nice to me.
- [NURSE 2 CHUCKLES.]
- I don't even know your names.
- I'm Amber.
- Jasmine.
- [AJ COUGHS.]
- Hi, beauty.
Hi, baby.
[AJ.]
It's the people who take care of you when stuff gets real.
That's your family.
The thing is you just gotta find them.
[GASPS, CHUCKLES.]
- Ow! Watch the arm.
- Oh, sorry.
I got overexcited.
- What is all this? - It's good, right? It's from a show I did called Jamaica Me Crazy.
I was Amoy, which means "beautiful goddess.
" Okay.
Tell me about this later.
Yeah! Oh, right, yes! We gotta get out of here.
This place is bad news.
I've been telling you that, dude! Well, I had to come to it on my own.
Ooh, child, I got an idea.
["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
Get up here.
Here, I'll take this.
And here.
[GRUNTS.]
And quick, before they realize I paid the bill with counterfeit money.
Hey, if we're using Mama Fabergé's money now, I got a load of stuff I want to buy for the RV.
Yeah, right.
[AJ.]
Hey.
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT.]
Tiny corpse coming through.
Small up yourself.
You're having too much fun.
Hey! Hey, is my kid in here? She broke her arm or something.
Me on break, baby.
- ["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
- Walk, walk, walk, uh! - Girl, walk it off - [AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS.]
- ["RUBY IS RED HOT" PLAYING.]
- Read my lips, hear what I said You look hungry, ain't been fed See that queen? Try her instead Got a man up in my bed Champagne bubbles in your head But that credit score is dead Library's open And you have been read [JAZZ SAXOPHONE PLAYING.]
Down and out and lost and found Had to pick myself up off the ground Saw the light, got turned around Never gonna be, no more, no more, no Long nights, winter blues Already paid the dues I've changed my point of view Baby, got a new attitude - Ruby is red hot - Red hot - Hot fire nonstop - Burnin' up Who got what I got? Oh, baby, baby Nobody, nobody
[CHILDREN PLAYING.]
[AJ.]
Come on! Higher! [WHOOPS.]
Push me harder! Harder! Is that all you got? Higher! [AJ.]
Swinging is kind of awesome.
I guess I should have tried it when I was a kid.
The problem is, if you want to go higher, you need someone to help out.
And my mother was more concerned about getting high herself.
- [AJ.]
Higher! - [DRAMATIC ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYING.]
[AJ WHOOPS.]
- Whoa! - [SCREAMS IN SLOW-MOTION.]
Help! - [HORN HONKING.]
- [ROBERT.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Keep strong.
Keep strong.
Out of my way! Little girl hurt! - Oh, my God.
We're almost there.
- Dude, this is stupid.
It's no big deal.
Hi.
We need help now.
- I think she broke her arm.
- It's just a scratch.
- No, it's not - He's such a drama queen.
No, I'm not.
I heard it crack.
- Honey, can you breathe? - [AJ.]
It's just my arm, Die-die.
- It's pronounced "Dee-dee.
" - You should make that much clearer.
[ROBERT.]
Look, it's a lovely name.
Now, can we get this child seen? - She's in pain.
- I said, I'm not.
Sir, we take critically injured patients first.
Unless there's a bullet hole somewhere I can't see, she's gonna have to wait like everyone else.
Fill this out, and we'll get to y'all as soon as we can.
[UNDER BREATH.]
See God in everyone.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Thank you.
Come on.
- [AJ.]
I'm leaving.
- No, you're staying.
Come on.
Have a seat.
Not that one.
No, not that one.
- Pick one.
- They're all filthy.
I'm trying to decide between hepatitis or meningitis.
[AJ.]
I've been in a hospital twice.
Both times were a disaster.
Once I was taken away, and once I was born.
They say hospitals are the place most people get sick.
Then we should go.
It doesn't even hurt.
You're in shock.
You can't feel it because of the adrenaline.
You know, when I twisted my ankle in my Alexander McQueen lobster heels, I couldn't feel it for days.
Nothing's wrong with my arm.
Can you move your fingers? Other hand.
[WINCES.]
There.
- You're not moving them.
- Yes, I am.
They're just moving so fast that the human eye can't even see it.
We're staying.
[SIGHS.]
AJ, this is a big deal.
Do you think we should call your mom? You crazy? No way.
Don't you think a mom should know if her kid broke her arm? Yeah.
And a mom should know if her kid went to school today or ate breakfast or had a place to live.
We're not calling her.
Okay, okay.
[SIGHS.]
This is all my fault.
I shouldn't have pushed you so hard.
[AJ.]
It's okay.
Guess I did kind of ask for it.
Well, that is true.
[ROBERT.]
Oh, ma'am, I know how that sounded, but it was a swing.
And it was an accident.
But tens across the board on that cat's paw stitch.
That's perfection.
See that? We shouldn't be here.
How are you gonna explain me and you? They'll go straight to sex trafficking.
What? I read.
I have never seen you read.
I've been read by you, but I've never seen you read.
Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do.
Nothing good ever happens in a hospital.
- [AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER ECHOES.]
She's gonna be okay, right? Can we get some help for my friend Louis, please? - What happened? - We were performing onstage, - and he collapsed.
- [NURSE.]
Okay.
Wait here.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON PA.]
["HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS" PLAYING.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Next year, all our troubles Will be out of sight [DOLL SQUEAKS.]
Have yourself a merry little Christmas - Make the yuletide gay - This shit is sad, henny! Oh, I hate sad movies.
Where's the remote? - Oh! [GASPS.]
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Ah! I better eat my feelings.
[CRYING.]
- Once again as in olden days - Who you callin' old, bitch? - Happy golden days of yore - [LOUIS.]
Judy's right.
I'm old and single.
[SOBS.]
- [DOLL SQUEAKING.]
- Faithful friends who are dear to us - Will be near to us - [AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
[LOUIS.]
Doughnuts ain't doing it, bitch.
[SOBS.]
What did Santa bring me? - Oh! - [AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
[LOUIS.]
The only thing I like better than white cake is white boys.
- If the fates allow - [LOUIS.]
Mm! Mm [THUDS LOUDLY.]
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS AND LAUGHS.]
Oh no, bitch.
You not gon' upstage me.
Cocoa! Cocoa! - Louis? - [AUDIENCE MUTTERING.]
[WALTER GEOFFREY HOWLING ON PHONE.]
How long are we gonna be sitting here? Till that's a full-on sweater coat? Now before anyone gets mad, I just got a big raise.
- [RECEPTIONIST.]
Oh! - Kidding.
I brought doughnuts.
Christian, are you trying to kill my diet? What are you fussing about, Deed? You're gorgeous, you don't need a diet.
Maybe just half.
- [NURSE.]
Who's gonna eat the other half? - Me.
[AJ.]
I'm hungry.
See if you can steal me one of those doughnuts.
I can fake a seizure or somethin'.
Or I could ask.
Like a person.
[NURSE.]
I'm going to Radiology.
Hi.
Sorry to bother you, but can I have one of those? The little one over there could really use one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Please, help yourself.
Best doughnuts in Louisiana.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, speaking as a fellow sister.
I mean, you're gay, I'm gay.
Oh, I didn't realize it was that obvious.
[CHUCKLES.]
I took a wild guess.
You think you could help get her seen faster? She's in a lot of pain and we've been here for over an hour, and I got a show to get to tonight.
What kind of show? Uh, at Unzipped in downtown Baton Rouge.
I'm a drag performer.
Oh, my Lord.
Are you like a professional drag queen? Guilty.
So like I said, you think You know, I occasionally do a little drag myself.
Oh, really? That's great.
Totally amateur.
I would never call myself a real drag queen.
- But would you look at my Insta? - I don't really have I can't believe I'm asking, but maybe you could give me some tips? I don't really have time right now, but Ooh.
Okay Well, um, Tammy Faye is a real classic.
- I know! - Maybe a bit done, but uh I should give her up.
I just love her.
Yeah.
I-I'd be happy to help, but maybe in return you can do something for me.
How about this one? I'm a mess, right? Oh.
Um The tuck is a bit meaty on that.
I know.
Your eye goes right to it.
How about this one? - Hey, um, what's your name? - Patty Cakes.
- No, I - Oh, my real name! [CHUCKLES.]
Christian.
Well, Christian drag is really all about attitude.
That's all you need to know.
When you walk into a room, say hello to everyone, but always act like there's someone better behind them.
Well, that that's gonna change everything.
Well, good.
Glad I can help.
But like I said, one hand washes the other, right? If things around here take much longer, I might need a favor from you.
I'd be honored.
Took you long enough.
Was that a date? Glad to see the break didn't affect your bitchiness.
- Try not to get it all over your top.
- Mm-hmm.
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Ow! - Damn it.
- [SIGHS.]
I think the adrenaline just wore off.
[PANTING.]
Okay, I've had it.
You need to see that girl! - Sir, we'll get to you as soon as we can.
- Not good enough, Didi! That girl is in pain over there.
You said it would just be a while.
It's been over an hour.
Don't you understand? That child is in pain! And no one seems to be doing anything about it! And yes, I'm channeling Shirley MacLaine.
And yes, it's something I always wanted to do, but under different circumstances! Sir, we do not appreciate your tone.
You know what? An hour is too long.
I'm so sorry.
We're just so understaffed because of budget cuts, and we're laying off people left and right.
Hell, we're reusing needles.
Just kidding.
You'll get my humor.
Thank you.
- Sorry for the outburst.
- Oh, please.
I love that movie.
"Come to laugh, come to cry, come to terms.
" - What's your name, darling? - AJ.
- Amber Jasmine.
- Oh, pretty Yeah, I was named after a stripper and a racist Disney character.
- [LAUGHS.]
- That's her go-to response.
Well, aren't you adorable? And what exactly is your relationship to this little girl? Ow! Ow, my arm! Oh, you poor thing! Let's get some ice on that arm and take you back to X-ray.
Oh, no, sir, not you.
You just stay right there and fill these forms out first, okay? We need to know everything about this little girl.
Okeydoke.
Right.
And I would know that.
[LADY DANGER EXHALES.]
[DAMIEN SIGHS.]
What are you staring at, buddy? Oh, nothing, I just forgot that I wasn't in New York for a minute.
My bad.
Yeah, your bad.
Okay.
You should be flattered anyone's looking at you.
Standing there with that ugly puss on your face.
Lighten up! Don't tell me to lighten up.
We were supposed to be done after I put it in you.
That was the deal.
And the new deal is, you need 800 bucks to fix your back window.
So as soon as I have those keys, Mommy will give you the cash, and you can go.
Unless you wanna go in the back and have a quickie.
I'm never doing that again.
I feel dirty.
Then I was doing it right.
I have a compact car for Lorraine Bracco.
- Yeah.
- No.
No.
No, no, there's a mistake.
I'm returning a car for Lorraine Bracco.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm picking up a car for Lorraine Bracco.
She's Lorraine Bracco.
I have her credit card.
She's not Lorraine Bracco.
Seth! That's Lorraine Bracco.
We're in Jackson, doing a movie.
Wow.
How long does it take to return a car? I'm gonna miss my flight.
This woman says that she is Lorraine Bracco.
If you're Lorraine Bracco, then how does this woman have your credit card? The question isn't "How does she have my credit card?" Baby, baby, baby, the question is is how could you not know I'm Lorraine Bracco? Sopranos? - Goodfellas? - Rizzoli & Isles.
Who the hell are you? Nobody.
Yeah.
Beat it.
What's your story? Big fan.
[MAN ON PHONE.]
Jackson Police, how can I help? So have a seat here, and I'm gonna see if they're ready for you, okay? Wait.
Can you grab my friend and bring him back here? He gets nervous when he's alone.
You'll see him in just a minute.
Don't worry, honey.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIANNA.]
AJ.
AJ? AJ, honey.
Can I see her? No, sweetie.
She's not awake right now.
- Okay? - [SNIFFLES.]
Um So, your mom's had an overdose, but they got to her in time, okay? [CRYING.]
It's my fault.
I should have called sooner.
No, it's not your fault, baby.
[SNIFFLES.]
It is.
I thought she was just sleeping.
No.
[TIANNA HUSHES.]
No, baby.
It's okay.
You did everything right.
This isn't on you.
Is she gonna die? What? No.
AJ, honey, I told you, they got to her in time.
Everything's gonna be fine.
[AJ SNIFFLES.]
Everything's gonna be fine.
[NURSE.]
Amber Jasmine.
Amber Jasmine.
Sweetie, we're a bit backed up 'cause we're down one X-ray machine.
I told them we needed two or else we would find ourselves in a situation where a little girl's out waiting in the hall.
But did they listen to me? No, ma'am.
They did not.
But I'm gonna get you in there just as soon as I can, dumpling, okay? I'll be back.
[ROBERT.]
Height.
Weight.
They really expect you to know a lot about your kid, huh? Ah, does she look nine or ten to you? You don't know how old she is? Show me a woman who doesn't lie about her age now and then.
I know I do.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
[AJ.]
I guess the Internet was right.
1-2-3-4 is not a secure password.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
Come on, Lady Glitter Butterfly Top, just answer the question.
[SCOFFS, SIGHS.]
Excuse me.
My phone just went dead.
Do you have a power cord? [SOFTLY.]
No.
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[BRACCO.]
Thanks, Chris.
Okay.
Do I get, uh Do I get a car and an upgrade? [CLERK.]
No, ma'am.
- [BRACCO.]
Do we get the car for free? - [ASSISTANT.]
I think we'd better.
[POLICE SIREN CHIRPS.]
- [BRACCO.]
There she goes.
- Bye! - Bye.
- Have a great summer.
AJ, why are you just sitting out here? They haven't seen you yet? Oh, no, they did.
They did.
We can go.
I'm fine.
They said I should probably have a mammogram every year and watch for signs of depression.
Sit back down.
You and I have something to talk about.
[SIGHS, INHALES SHARPLY.]
Why didn't you tell me that your mother has been texting you? Give me that.
I told you, don't touch my stuff.
You never learn.
There must be 50 texts here.
She is freaking out.
You need to text her back.
Why? It's a trap.
She acts as if she cares, and then I text her, then she's too high to even remember.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
AJ, I am not your mother.
I know that.
Do you know how I know that? 'Cause you're not high.
I'm just saying, this isn't my place.
And she knows things about you I don't.
At least text her that you're okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm in a hospital, and my arm's broken 'cause you pushed me off a swing.
So it is broken? They told you that? No, but it's really hurting right now, so just give me my phone! Okay, we're not done with this.
Or this.
Okay.
- [SIGHS.]
How old are you? - How old are you? That's low.
I'm just trying to help.
Ten.
And birth date? June 19th.
What? No! You are not a Gemini.
You don't have two sides.
I mean, I've seen the side that's serious and restless, but I've yet to see a side that's sociable, communicative, and ready for fun.
Maybe there's some Taurus rising somewhere.
All right, dumpling, you're up next.
Robert, please, we have to get out of here.
What's wrong? Why are you so scared? 'Cause they're gonna call someone.
What? No.
They're gonna fix your arm, and then we're gonna get out of here.
Dude, I've been here before.
That's what they do when the mother's not here.
They call someone and then take you away.
[NURSE.]
Oh, hey, you.
- H how did you get back here? - I just walked back.
Yep, hospital security out the window as well.
I just needed a little help from AJ on this form.
I forgot my readers.
Isn't it horrible, getting old? - Mm-hmm.
- Do you have ghost finger yet? I mean, my iPhone doesn't even know - I'm touching it.
- [ROBERT LAUGHS.]
No.
My fingers retain their youthful moisture.
Well, looks like somebody's from the city.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, Carlos, can you take Amber here back in, while I help this gentleman fill out his forms? Yeah.
It's fine.
I'll be right here.
I hope I'll be.
- Could you take her bag? - Yes.
So let's go find a good place with a lot of bright light - for our old, ancient eyes.
- [LAUGHS.]
[NURSE.]
You know what goes next, don't you? - [LOUDLY.]
Hearing! - [CHUCKLES.]
- [NURSE.]
And does she have any allergies? - Uh, to good manners.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, you know what? I don't know.
I mean, I wouldn't roll her in peanuts, but that doesn't help you.
Why don't you put down "everything.
" Isn't that safer? Well, we really do need to know.
Is there someone we can call? Where's the mother? The mother's not really available.
And what is your relationship to AJ? A little strained at first, but we're finding our thing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Kidding, not kidding.
Okay.
Here's the deal.
I was on my way to a pageant in Texas She's a pageant girl? Bless her heart.
I never would have known that.
I know.
Spray on that tan, throw her a baton, and she's a different person.
I mean, it makes sense.
She's a Gemini.
Oh, my goodness.
And your relationship to her is? Pageant coach.
I'm her pageant coach.
I run the Little Divas Studio in New York.
Uh, don't try to Google us.
We're invitation only.
Well, then I've just gotta ask you because I have a granddaughter who's been in three of those things, and she has never even placed.
And let me get my Instagram right now.
- What do you think? - [ROBERT.]
Ooh.
Oh! She's adorable.
Maybe a smaller flipper? Uh, this one seems a little too big for her mouth.
Well, those are her real teeth.
And they're beautiful.
Ah, she's living her truth.
Let's see.
Is it the hair then? Are we just not getting that right? The wig is a tad big.
Her neck seems to be struggling to support it.
That might be why she's grimacing a little bit.
[SIGHS.]
I just wish she would win something.
Carolanne.
Is she having fun? Oh, she's having the time of her life.
She just feels so beautiful.
Then I think she's already won.
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go check on my little pageant girl.
Oh! Wait, you never told me about the mother.
Can anyone help me? [BRIANNA GROANS.]
I need help.
[MOANS.]
Hold on.
Hold on.
[GROANS.]
Wait, baby.
- Just wait.
- Are you all right, honey? I'm in labor.
I mean, I think I am.
Um, my water broke.
Okay, well, let's get you back there.
Are you with anyone? [GROANS.]
It's just me.
- Is there someone I can call? - [CRYING.]
No.
No, it's just me.
I'm just by myself.
Okay, well, that's not true.
I'm here, and I'm gonna take good care of you, okay? - [BRIANNA.]
Okay.
- Come on.
[GROANS.]
- Get me a chair.
We need a chair here.
- Not yet, baby.
- [NURSE.]
It's gonna be okay.
- [BRIANNA INHALES SHARPLY.]
[NURSE.]
There you go.
Just sit down.
Excellent, keep breathing.
- Keep breathing.
- [MOANS.]
- [NURSE.]
What's your name, honey? - Brianna.
[NURSE.]
Brianna.
[RECEPTIONIST.]
See him? He's right there in the red dress shirt.
I don't know how I missed him.
All right, I'll fix it.
[CLERK.]
Hi.
Well, there you are.
[CHUCKLES.]
Didi told me you slipped right by her.
- Good old Didi.
- [CLERK.]
Yeah.
I'm Alyssa from Payments and Insurance, and we're gonna need to get your card.
- My card? - [ALYSSA.]
Uh-huh.
Uh, insurance or credit? Both! Do y'all take cash? Hey, excuse me, bro.
Sorry to bother you, but I'm out of gas and I don't have a back window.
- Is there a chance I could borrow money? - Sorry, I can't help.
Dude, I'm not this guy.
I don't I don't beg for money.
Even though I know that's what I'm doing right now, but I'm not usually this guy, you know? Hey.
You know what, man? I hope you're never this guy.
'Cause this guy's a tough place to be! [TIRES SQUEAL.]
That's it.
I'm done with her, and her stuff! What? What the hell is this? Shit.
Come here.
Come here.
Come on.
No way.
That sneaky bitch.
Hey.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
All right, not too bad.
You got a small fracture of the ulna.
It's this bone here.
Now, how in the heck did that happen? That dude I came in with pushed me too hard.
- Oh.
- On a swing.
It was my first time or whatever.
You want to grab him? I feel like he's getting into trouble out there.
She came in with a tall, fancy black man.
You know, I just kept racking my brain trying to figure out the connection, and it turns out he's her pageant coach from New York.
[GASPS.]
And you do pageants? What? I could be a beauty queen.
If I put on lipstick and shit.
Doesn't seem to have the question and answer part quite down.
No, she does not.
- [DOCTOR.]
Sure about this pageant story? - Well, that's what her coach said.
- And what's this coach's name? - Dumpling, what's your coach's name? [MAN.]
Robert Lee? I'm looking for someone with Louis Bell.
Here.
Here.
I'm with Louis.
I'm sorry I'm dressed like this.
I was doing a show, and I'm Judy Garland.
Yeah, I get it.
I've been working the ER in Greenwich Village since I was 20.
I've seen at least four Judy Garlands in my day.
One of them was the actual Judy Garland.
How's Louis? - Are you his partner? - No, just a friend.
Oh, um Does he have family? Oh, my God.
[CRYING.]
Oh, my God.
Is he dead? No.
[RUBY SIGHS.]
You can rest assured that he's he's not dead.
But um, he has had a stroke.
[GASPS.]
What kind of stroke.
Is it bad? It was a bad one.
Oh, God.
His diabetes, of course, is a risk factor.
This is my fault.
I made him eat all these doughnuts.
He kept saying, "It's too on the nose.
" And I said, "No, it's funny.
" I don't think this is about a couple of doughnuts.
Is he gonna be okay? Well, we do have him stabilized, and the very good news is that his speech and motor skills seem unaffected.
But uh, there is another issue.
The stroke affected both sides of his brain.
Now, that's very rare, but when it happens, we're dealing with blindness.
He's blind temporarily till the blood leaves his brain or wherever? Well I'm not gonna sugarcoat this He's blind forever? Most likely.
[SIGHS.]
[DOCTOR.]
All right, kiddo.
Looks like someone is going home with a cast.
Oh, can I have one of those plaster ones? They make for better weapons.
Isn't she a character? No, sweetie, we use soft casts now.
- First thing, I want to take a look.
- Ow! - [CAROLANNE.]
Oh.
- Ooh.
Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Fair enough.
I came in a little fast.
Now, I'm just gonna take a look at - Oh! - Whoa! [LAUGHS.]
Oof.
All right.
Fool me once [LAUGHS.]
All right, let's try this another way.
AJ, I'm gonna be straight with you.
I need to set your arm, and it's gonna hurt just a little bit.
But something tells me you can take it.
- Ready? - Yeah.
No! - Can I get a Coke or something first? - [CAROLANNE.]
Be right up.
[AJ.]
And not diet.
- [DAMIEN ON PHONE.]
What's up? - [LADY DANGER.]
Don't hang up! This is my one call.
I cannot believe you left me behind, you little bitch.
Yeah, I'm a little bitch.
And you know what you are? Yeah, in jail, and I need you to bail me out.
Look, I have a thousand dollars in the side pocket of my wheelie bag.
Only a thousand? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it looks like, I don't know, like a hundred thousand? Yeah, I found the false bottom.
You been looking in the mirror? [LAUGHS.]
Goodbye, Miss Bracco.
[LADY DANGER.]
Look, don't hang up.
Look, I wasn't trying to play you.
I always carry all my money with me.
I grew up on an island with five active volcanoes.
But that money isn't to spend.
It's for a rainy day.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Now it's raining? 'Cause I've been washing the same two pairs of Versace underwear in a sink for seven weeks.
Pretty sure that's as rainy as it gets.
Bail me out, and half of it is yours.
No.
No.
All of it is mine.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Oh, yeah, while you just sitting there, rotting in that Jackson jail, I'mma be halfway to Cuba with a whole lot of new underwear.
And you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about that expensive kind with the pouch on the front.
Don't you dare hang up! [DIAL TONE BUZZES.]
Wow.
That little bitch did hang up.
[OFFICER.]
All right, come on.
[CELL DOOR BUZZES.]
You're in my spot.
[ALYSSA CHUCKLES.]
- [GASPS.]
Well, hello there.
- Hi.
I see we're going with cash.
[ROBERT.]
Yes, cash.
And it's in a baggie.
Money's filthy, and I'm a bit of a clean freak.
You and me both.
That's why I can't go to the movies anymore.
'Cause of the lice.
[LAUGHS.]
Girl, another time and place, and we'd be having coffee about that.
- In a paper cup.
- Of course.
[LAUGHS.]
You're so funny! [SIGHS.]
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
I mean, I wouldn't normally, but I just don't have any African-American friends to talk to.
Okay My daughter is seeing this African-American boy and I just don't know if he's a good one.
Would you mind taking a look at my Instagram and telling me your opinion? And you think because I'm black I would know? No.
That's so silly of me.
Of course you wouldn't.
No, I mean, you can't look at a picture and tell if, you know, Ooh! Ah, ah! Ooh! [CHUCKLES.]
No, ma'am.
Uh-uh.
- Send him packing, girl.
- Ah.
I'm not just saying that 'cause he's black.
I'm getting a real shady vibe that transcends racial profiling.
- See, I did too! - Mm.
Okay, so I'm just gonna tell her that this isn't racist.
This is coming from an African-American man.
Word.
I'm gonna have to count this and get you a receipt.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- It's it's all there.
You can - [AJ.]
Help.
That's AJ.
Sir, sir, sir, I'm afraid I can't let you go back there.
What are you talking about? I need to be in there.
There's some concern about your relationship to the child.
What is it? Exactly? I'm currently taking care of her.
He didn't even know how old she was.
And he said he hit her.
I pushed her.
In a swing.
[ALYSSA.]
Loretta, he's fine.
Carolanne said that he's her pageant coach.
Yes, and as her pageant coach, I really should be with her.
I'm sure we can figure this out later.
I think we need to figure it out now.
Just follow me, sir.
Sir.
Come with me, and we'll figure this all out.
Well, I guess I don't have a choice.
Well, can someone at least give her this doll? I'm afraid not.
This way, please.
[ROBERT.]
Well, what about her screaming? She's in pain.
[BRIANNA SCREAMS.]
[NURSE 1.]
Push, honey.
- Just one more big push.
- I can't.
[NURSE 2.]
Just a bit more, and we're home.
[NURSE 1.]
Yes, you can.
You got this, Brianna.
- [CRYING AND PANTING.]
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
[DOCTOR.]
Okay, let's stop pushing for a minute.
Looks like we have just a little deceleration.
What's that? Is something wrong with my baby? - [NURSE 1.]
No, no.
- I didn't do anything bad, I swear.
I swear I was clean the whole time.
I swear.
[NURSE 1.]
Sweetie, everything's fine.
This happens.
- [BRIANNA GROANS.]
- [DOCTOR.]
Okay, heart rate is back.
We're good to go.
- [NURSE 2.]
You're doing so good, Brianna.
- [NURSE 1.]
Hell, better than I did.
Halfway through, I punched my husband in the balls and said, "That's it.
You do the rest.
" I would love to punch someone right now.
[NURSE 2.]
I'll bet you would.
Okay, come on.
Give me one more.
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS.]
[CAROLANNE.]
Now, see? That didn't hurt so bad.
Keep telling yourself that.
Well, thanks.
That's what I'm here for.
Oh, uh Hold on a sec.
I can't let you go until you tell us where your mom is.
Darn.
I never did get that information from her pageant coach.
AJ [SIGHS.]
is there something you're not telling us? Something about, uh, how you broke your arm? How come you won't say where your mama is? I can't.
Why not, honey? Are you embarrassed about something? We get all kinds of mamas in here.
Last week, we even got a mom who's an exotic dancer.
Yeah, I'm just so embarrassed.
She's that.
She's a stripper.
I mean exotic dancer.
Oh! Does she work at that place off interstate 10? What's the name of that place? Booby Trap.
I don't I don't go in, I drive right by.
- [AJ.]
Mm-hmm.
- On my way home.
It's a big neon sign.
You can't miss it.
Well, yeah.
That's where she works.
And you're right.
I'm just so embarrassed.
Well, that is nothing to be ashamed about.
A paycheck is a paycheck, and good for her for getting you in pageants.
We just wanna let her know you're okay.
What's her name? Destiny.
Okay, good.
So you just wait right here.
I'm gonna go call over there right now.
And don't you worry about a thing.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Here you go.
Have a seat, little one.
And don't move 'til we come get you.
[WOMAN OVER PA.]
Neuro resident to pre-op.
Neuro resident to pre-op.
[TIANNA.]
Shit.
Okay, okay, okay.
- Hi, AJ.
How are you doing? - Fine.
Just waiting for my mother.
Honey, I'm sure you're really worried, but you need to come with us now.
Okay? Just until your mom feels better.
I don't even know her.
It's just gonna be for a little while, I promise.
Come.
Come on, sweetie.
- [AJ.]
My mom.
- [SOCIAL WORKER.]
It's okay.
Just for a little while.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Will you tell Destiny the hospital's located at 366 Richard Boulevard? And we'll be here waiting for her, okay? Thank you again for your help.
Bye-bye.
Roberta, what did you ask me to do about five minutes ago Mr.
Lee, I need to know where that girl's mother is.
I can't release her to you.
I'm Well, safe to say, you've read Becoming, so I'm gonna tell you how AJ and I became who we are.
[SIGHS.]
AJ's mother, she's not doing very good.
She has a drug problem.
And, yes, I'm not her pageant coach.
I'm a drag performer on a cross-country tour, and AJ stowed away in my RV.
So, long story short, I'm taking her to Texas to live with her grandfather, who, I guess, is off the grid.
So, girl, I hope this clears things up.
It does.
[SIGHS.]
I'm calling Social Services.
What? No.
You can't do that to her again.
That's what she's running away from.
Mr.
Lee, you have no paperwork, and there's no mother.
You have to understand my position.
Knock-knock, Loretta.
Good news.
We found the mother.
Sweet little thing finally told us that her mother is an exotic dancer at that club off interstate 10.
She was so embarrassed.
And she does get embarrassed real easy.
That's why I had to tell that crazy story about being a drag performer on a cross-country tour.
I was trying to protect her privacy.
I mean, she's a local, and, girl, you know how people talk.
Yes.
- Has the mother been contacted? - She'll be here in 30 minutes.
Oh! Good.
Good.
So in 30 minutes, everyone will know everything.
So I'll wait for her mother out front.
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
He's a character.
[CHUCKLING.]
Christian! Oh, hey.
How's everything working out? [SIGHS.]
To be honest there have been some hitches.
I'm sorry.
Is there anything I can do? There is, and it's big, and I'm asking this as one drag queen to another.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I'm not a real drag queen.
If a man is brave enough to put on some lipstick and a wig and tell the world he's pretty, then he gets to call himself a drag queen.
And you are a drag queen, baby.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I thought I was the healer.
[ROBERT CHUCKLES.]
Now, about that favor.
I need to borrow something of yours.
- ["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
- Uh! Just walk it off Hi, hon.
You one of the temps? [IN JAMAICAN ACCENT.]
Sorry me late.
Somebody park in me spot.
That don't supposed to fly.
[WHISPERS.]
AJ, we gotta bounce.
[GASPS.]
Who you, man? Cover your puppy.
But I'm here for my puppy.
Girl Just walk it off This is ER Treatment Room B.
This is Darlene, who runs the show, and, uh, this is Angie, who's helping us out today.
- [NURSE.]
Hi.
- [ANGIE.]
Hey.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Hi, baby.
They told me I had a stroke.
Biggest face crack ever.
There ain't nothing cute about this.
I can't see.
Doctor says I might be blind forever.
We don't know that yet, right? We don't know what's gonna happen in a week or in a month.
I mean, you just gotta believe, right? [SIGHS.]
Robert.
Robert.
What am I gonna do? [SIGHS.]
You're gonna Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Next year, all our troubles Will be out of sight Really, bitch? A blind joke? [CHUCKLES.]
Too soon? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Would you do me a favor? - Anything.
Would you see where my wig got to? - Oh, bitch.
- [LOUIS CHUCKLES.]
- Are you still in drag? - [RUBY.]
Mm-hmm.
I think I smell wet crushed velvet.
[RUBY.]
They do say your senses get heightened.
[SIGHS.]
Well, let's hope so.
I don't know what you heard, but I only drive by that club on my way home.
It's right off Route 10.
[AJ.]
I kinda always found it hard to depend on people.
Not really having a family taught me that.
- Hi, baby.
- [NURSE 1.]
Here she is.
- [NURSE 2.]
She's a beauty.
- Hi.
[GASPS.]
Hi.
Oh.
- She's healthy.
She's healthy, right? - [NURSE 1.]
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you did real good, honey.
[BRIANNA.]
Thank you.
Thank you so much for everything.
You guys were so nice to me.
- [NURSE 2 CHUCKLES.]
- I don't even know your names.
- I'm Amber.
- Jasmine.
- [AJ COUGHS.]
- Hi, beauty.
Hi, baby.
[AJ.]
It's the people who take care of you when stuff gets real.
That's your family.
The thing is you just gotta find them.
[GASPS, CHUCKLES.]
- Ow! Watch the arm.
- Oh, sorry.
I got overexcited.
- What is all this? - It's good, right? It's from a show I did called Jamaica Me Crazy.
I was Amoy, which means "beautiful goddess.
" Okay.
Tell me about this later.
Yeah! Oh, right, yes! We gotta get out of here.
This place is bad news.
I've been telling you that, dude! Well, I had to come to it on my own.
Ooh, child, I got an idea.
["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
Get up here.
Here, I'll take this.
And here.
[GRUNTS.]
And quick, before they realize I paid the bill with counterfeit money.
Hey, if we're using Mama Fabergé's money now, I got a load of stuff I want to buy for the RV.
Yeah, right.
[AJ.]
Hey.
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT.]
Tiny corpse coming through.
Small up yourself.
You're having too much fun.
Hey! Hey, is my kid in here? She broke her arm or something.
Me on break, baby.
- ["WALK IT OFF" PLAYING.]
- Walk, walk, walk, uh! - Girl, walk it off - [AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS.]
- ["RUBY IS RED HOT" PLAYING.]
- Read my lips, hear what I said You look hungry, ain't been fed See that queen? Try her instead Got a man up in my bed Champagne bubbles in your head But that credit score is dead Library's open And you have been read [JAZZ SAXOPHONE PLAYING.]
Down and out and lost and found Had to pick myself up off the ground Saw the light, got turned around Never gonna be, no more, no more, no Long nights, winter blues Already paid the dues I've changed my point of view Baby, got a new attitude - Ruby is red hot - Red hot - Hot fire nonstop - Burnin' up Who got what I got? Oh, baby, baby Nobody, nobody