Alfred Hitchcock Presents s01e08 Episode Script

Good evening.
No, I'm not drinking on the job.
Not for pleasure at any rate.
I am an amateur wine taster.
A friend suspects that someone has been tampering with his wine.
Of course, there's no use going through the trouble of a laboratory test when any self-respecting gourmet can detect impurities.
Nothing wrong here.
A very fine Burgundy, a Romani Conti, I would say.
This is Muscatel.
Homemade, no doubt.
The do-it-yourself craze knows no bounds.
Something foreign has been added.
A large quantity, too.
Anyone could have detected.
But exactly what? I have it.
Arsenic.
I wish I had more.
It's very good, really.
That is, if you like a very dry wine.
While you wait to see what possible effect this may have on me you may watch our dramatization of one of Dorothy L.
Sayers' stories.
Good morning, Mrs.
Sutton.
Mrs.
Montgomery isn't feeling very well this morning.
Oh, she overdoes.
That's the whole trouble.
I tell her, if she'd only try to rest occasionally She's got too much nervous energy, that's all.
You might take up a cup of cocoa to her later.
Why, she'd have a fit if I do.
It's coffee or nothing for her.
What's the latest development on the foreign aid program, Mrs.
Sutton? I beg your pardon? Is the market holding steady, or is it the race results? If you object to me glancing at your paper, Mr.
Montgomery- Glance at it, read it, memorize it.
Why, you couldn't get it in this condition short of wrapping fish in it.
I'm sure the news is no different just because of an extra crease or two.
No.
But my disposition is.
Don't know why a woman can't understand that a man likes his paper in a virginal condition.
Here's your cocoa.
And don't think you can charm me out of it just because you make the best cup of cocoa east of the Mississippi.
Would you like lamb curry with chutney for your dinner tonight? Why, Mrs.
Sutton, you've sold your soul to the devil.
How did you know that I had no resistance to lamb curry? Just 'cause I'm new here doesn't mean that I don't know what's what.
What is what? Darling.
Darling, I thought I told you to stay in bed this morning.
You've got to take better care of yourself.
Doesn't she, Mrs.
Sutton? Darling, don't fuss at me this morning.
Is the coffee ready, Mrs.
Sutton? It will be perking in a minute.
I'll try to last.
Darling, don't forget, this is a night for my drama club.
Well, well.
Has that rolled around again? I've been telling you about it for two weeks.
If you'd only pay attention, Ralph.
You're doing Summer and Smoke.
And you're going to play the lead opposite Don Welbeck.
And you'll be as sensational as you were last year.
Okay? You're always teasing me.
Good Lord.
Late again.
Bye, darling.
Take care of yourself.
Don't let Don Welbeck turn your back to the audience.
You've got a very nice husband.
That's why I married him.
That's an educated elbow you've got there.
This elbow is all that keeps you from missing the 8:13 every morning.
What's the headline? If you'd get up a little earlier, you could read your own paper.
Mrs.
Sutton gets to it first.
I spend all my time putting it back together.
Earl Kramer presents the news.
Crisis in French cabinet.
Well known jockey suspended.
lllinois prison riot quelled.
Police have new lead on Mrs.
Andrews.
Who's Mrs.
Andrews? She's that housekeeper who's been poisoning all those women.
Oh, that one.
She's got a pretty impressive record, too.
Knocked off three women in a row.
Strictly minor league.
I bet it will turn out she mistook the arsenic for salt.
Very good, Ralph.
If I get the case, that's the defense I'll use.
But remind me never to buy any real estate from you.
You're a con man at heart, my boy.
Come on.
Let's not miss our train.
With reference to your inquiry regarding the office building located at Where was I? "The office building located at" Oh, yes.
The Harbin Building.
You fill in the address.
Please be advised that this office has an offer of $225,000.
Period.
Is something wrong, Mr.
Montgomery? What? No.
It's just a little indigestion.
This office has a commitment for a first-mortgage loan Mr.
Montgomery! Nothing.
It'll be all right.
Here.
Let me help you.
Lie down a minute.
Mr.
Brooks.
Mr.
Brooks, can you come in? Mr.
Montgomery is sick.
Ralph.
What is it? What's wrong? It's cramps.
Run down the hall and get Doc Griffith.
No.
It's nothing.
It's just indigestion.
I'll be all right in a minute.
You are sure it isn't your heart? No, my heart is fine.
It's just cramps.
It wouldn't hurt to have the doctor take a look at you.
No, I'd feel foolish getting the doctor just for indigestion.
I'll be all right.
I'm okay now.
Feeling better, darling? I'm fine.
Isn't it time you were off to the drama club? I'm not going today.
You're not staying home on account of me? Yes, I am.
I'm going to take care of you.
But there's absolutely nothing wrong with me.
The way you and George Brooks talk, you'd think I was an invalid.
George phoned while you were sleeping and he's very worried about you.
Nonsense.
You know how George exaggerates everything.
Still, I think I should stay home with you.
But what's Don Welbeck going to do, rehearse with a chair? Don't argue with your old man, darling.
Look, Mrs.
Sutton will take very good care of me.
You run along.
I'm fit enough to do 18 holes.
Don't you dare! All right.
Now, you run along.
I'll be all right.
I'll just putter around in the workshop.
Ralph, I'm off.
Darling, did you buy any weed killer lately or any spray for the rose bushes? No.
Do we need some? I'll order it.
No.
But I just found a package I don't remember buying.
In that old cupboard of yours? Darling, that's been full of junk for years.
You really ought to do something about that.
I'll probably find a lot of surprises there.
And don't let Don Welbeck turn your back to the audience.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of Don this time.
Thanks for the lift, Don.
I'd invite you in for a nightcap, but Ralph isn't feeling well.
I understand.
Some other time, then.
Goodnight, Ethel.
Hello, darling.
You're home early.
I was worried about you.
How are you feeling? Good as new.
How'd the rehearsal go? All right.
Ralph, you still look pale.
Well, dinner didn't sit so well, I guess.
You didn't have another attack? No.
But I had to eat some of Mrs.
Sutton's lamb curry to keep peace in the family and I guess it was a little too spicy for me.
But I'm fine.
Darling, do you mind if I watch the late show? No.
Don't wait up for me.
All right.
Darling.
You know, I've been thinking Mrs.
Sutton's first month with us is up tomorrow.
Is it really? It seems much longer.
I was wondering if we're completely satisfied with her.
I don't see how we could do much better.
She's a real find.
Yes.
She is an excellent cook - I thought you liked her.
She certainly dotes on you.
Well, we get along fine.
It's just that I don't know.
You're not still pouting about that silly old newspaper being all wrinkled up, are you? Well, it is very annoying.
Darling, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I believe you're getting crotchety.
Okay.
Do you have to watch this? No.
He's got nothing but nerve.
Read them and weep.
Dummy makes the drinks.
Very good.
I don't want to hear you squeal, anyway.
Where was that lead from? Desperation, I'd say.
Wouldn't have the king, would you, George? That's just blind, dumb luck.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
Hey, looks like a lay-down, gentlemen.
Hearts with the spades, and the diamonds are all good.
Well, obviously, this is not my week.
Hey, waiter.
Waiter, where's that drink? Coming up.
You made it.
You guys get away with murder.
Superior playing.
Speaking of murder I see they haven't caught up with that Mrs.
Andrews yet.
Ralph has a theory about that.
He thinks those poisonings were accidental.
Sure they were.
The woman's a psycho, isn't she, Doc? I am a doctor, not a psychiatrist.
Of course, there weren't any of the usual motives.
Greed, revenge, fit of passion.
What is your opinion, Doctor? I only know what I read.
But the old girI certainly seems unbalanced.
Her victims are all women.
All young and pretty.
But in the last case, the husband was poisoned, too.
Although it wasn't enough to kill him.
What I can't understand is why they haven't found her yet.
It was over a month ago.
This type runs to a pattern.
She probably got herself another housekeeping job somewhere and she's lying low.
But wait until the next full moon or whatever it is that sets her off.
Whose deal? I wonder if there are any pictures of her.
Yeah, there was one in the paper at the time of the last murder about, I guess, about the 4th or 5th of last month.
Are we playing bridge or amateur detective? Well, I think I'll call it an evening.
Oh, Ralph.
My wife isn't well, as you know.
I better go home.
Ralph, one more rubber.
Don't pay any attention to the old bachelor.
You've got a young, pretty wife and I don't blame you for wanting to go home to her.
He doesn't know how lucky he is.
Let's settle up next week, shall we? Sure.
You don't mind if I finish my drink, do you? Ralph, give Ethel my love, will you? Yes, I'll do that.
Good night, gentlemen.
Good night, Ralph.
See you.
Ethel.
Yes, dear.
Are you all right, darling? Yes, I'm all right.
I just haven't been able to sleep.
I'm going to have a cup of cocoa.
Should I bring some up for you? No, thank you.
A cup of cocoa might help that insomnia.
I'd like you to run a quick test on this for me, please.
I can't say how quick it'll be.
What is it? As a matter of fact, it's cocoa.
Cocoa? Yes.
There's been some mix-up, and it might contain poison.
It would save time if we knew what kind of poison you suspect.
Arsenic.
Just a minute.
It doesn't show up in the spectrum at any rate.
Then there's no arsenic in it? Well, I wouldn't want to say that for certain.
A sublethal dose probably wouldn't show up anyway.
Let me understand this.
You mean there might be arsenic in it, but not enough for a lethal dose? That's a possibility.
Of course, over a period of time, it's accumulative.
I didn't know that.
How long would it take you to run a complete test? Not more than an hour.
But I couldn't get to it until this afternoon.
Will you do it as quickly as you can, please? Here's my card.
And will you call me as soon as it's finished? All right, Mr.
Montgomery.
Thank you.
Hello, darling.
Yes.
I just wanted to see how you were.
Oh, well, that's fine.
Look, darling, why don't you call one of the girls and go out to lunch? Yes.
Well, the change should do you good.
That's fine.
And look, tell Mrs.
Sutton not to fix anything for you.
Okay.
Bye, darling.
Here's that back issue you asked for.
That's the woman who poisoned all those people.
Yes.
I was interested in seeing what she looked like.
Just morbid curiosity.
I had an idea she was a much older woman.
I imagine she is.
What? That's an old picture of her.
Why do you say that? Mr.
Montgomery, look at that big hat with all those flowers on it and the style of the dress.
Nobody wears anything like that today.
How dated would you say it is? Fifteen years.
Perhaps more.
Add 15 years, 30 pounds.
Could be.
Do you recognize her? No, I thought for a moment that I'd seen her before, but, of course, that's ridiculous.
She gives me the jitters.
Mr.
Brooks says she poisons young women.
Hello.
Mr.
Montgomery? Yes.
Thank you.
That's all for now.
And thanks for bringing the papers.
You are welcome.
Hello, yes.
Yes, this is Mr.
Montgomery.
Never mind the details.
Was it poisoned or not? All right.
There was not enough arsenic to be fatal.
But, as I told you earlier, arsenic is accumulative.
I'd say that if you drank that much every day for a week, it would kill you.
Yes.
Hello, Mrs.
Sutton.
Let me talk to my wife right away.
I'm afraid you can't.
What do you mean I can't? She's not in.
No, I don't know where she went.
She went out just after you phoned this morning.
No, I don't know where she went.
I didn't think it was my place to ask.
Yes, Mr.
Montgomery.
Tell Mr.
Brooks I've had to leave early.
You're not sick again? No.
It's my wife.
I'm afraid something's happened to her.
I hope it's nothing serious.
Ethel! Ethel! Yes, dear.
Are you all right? Yes, I'm all right.
I will be down in a moment.
I was just taking a shower.
Mrs.
Sutton, I want you to leave.
But I'm just getting dinner.
I don't want you to get dinner, tonight or any other time! I'm discharging you.
But why? What have I done that's wrong? I think you know that better than anybody else, Mrs.
Sutton.
But it ain't fair.
You've got to give me notice.
You'll get a month's wages in lieu of notice.
But I only done what I had to, Mr.
Montgomery.
You can't say that I never took good care of you.
Yes.
And you'd have taken care of my wife, too, if I hadn't found out.
Well, I'm going to give you an opportunity to leave.
But I won't guarantee what action I'll take after you leave.
Your wife.
I knew the minute I'd seen her that there'd be trouble.
I know that type.
You can't trust any of them.
I want you out of this house in 20 minutes, Mrs.
Sutton.
Is that clear? I wouldn't stay here anyways.
Ethel.
Yes, dear.
Ralph, what are you doing home so early? I didn't hear you come in.
Darling, are you sure you're all right? Of course I'm all right.
I just decided to take a nap instead of going out for lunch.
What's wrong with Mrs.
Sutton? She stormed past me Iike an avenging angel.
I just fired her.
You fired her? Ralph, why? She just hasn't worked out.
She's too unreliable.
I don't understand.
What's she done? For one thing, she lied.
She said you were out to lunch, and you were home all the time.
She misunderstood.
I told her not to bother to make lunch that I was going out, and then I changed my mind.
Darling, you're getting awfully jumpy lately.
Yes, my nerves are a little on edge these days.
It's that woman.
I can't wait to get her out of the house.
It's such a problem getting a good housekeeper.
Well, she goes.
And the sooner, the better.
I'm leaving now.
I'm sorry.
Please believe me.
My nerves have been on edge lately.
If you'll just pay me my wages.
Yes, of course.
But, you see, I would like to apologize and perhaps, you'd even consider staying on.
Not where I'm not wanted.
But it was all a misunderstanding.
I thought you were I mean Now that I've spoken to my wife I know that she was upstairs all the time.
Was she? It's not my place to tell you what's happening behind your back.
What do you mean, Mrs.
Sutton? I mean your wife and that young man that she's in the play with.
They made me lie for them, and that's not what I was hired for, Mr.
Montgomery.
Goodbye.
Welbeck? Ethel.
Ethel.
Darling, what's the matter? You're not ill again.
No, I'm not ill, but We got to do something about these nerves of yours.
I made you a nice cup of cocoa.
It will quiet you down.
That was a warm and touching little fable, wasn't it? The kind of story that gets you right here.
About my wine-testing.
I'm afraid I was very much mistaken about brand Z.
You will be relieved to hear there was nothing wrong with it.
Nothing had been added.
You see, it wasn't wine.
It was mosquito spray.
The arsenic belonged there.
Apparently, the mosquitoes prefer their spray very dry.
Next week at this same time I shall invade your living rooms again provided your television set holds up.
Good night.