Ally Mcbeal s01e08 Episode Script

- What do you mean, it's broken? - Broken.
Billy went to Starbucks.
- When did he go? Is he coming back? - Any second.
Are you? - After my fourth cup, I'm fine.
- Me too.
I haven't had any today.
I need you to reschedule.
Marci Hatfield, Hatfield's ex, is due in.
- She's averse to confrontation - Billy! - Thank God.
- I'll owe you for the rest of my life.
- Billy, I want you at this meeting - No! - Don't just drink it.
- Sorry? This is your first cup.
You were putting it right to your mouth? - That's how I drink.
With my mouth.
- Excuse me.
- What? - Put it back on the tray.
- Will you excuse us? - I hadn't quite finished.
What are you doing? If I don't drink that in the next 10 seconds - You know how most men make love? - I'm married.
I wouldn't.
- Think back.
- I remember.
You were about to drink this cappuccino like most men make love skipping the foreplay.
Just hold it in your hands.
Just knowing that it's close.
I see what you mean.
Now, close your eyes.
Just think about tasting it.
Now, smell it.
Just a little.
Mmm.
Now, pull it away.
Just tease yourself a little.
Up and down.
Up.
Longer sniffs.
Now, you see that foam on the plastic? Lick it off.
- I have to drink it.
- Now, bring it up slow.
Don't rush it.
It only happens with the first cup.
Slow.
Slow.
Slow.
And drink.
Mmm.
Mmm.
I've been down this road Drawing The Lines Walking the line That's painted by pride And I have made mistakes in my life That I just can't hide Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring I got myself together Now I'm ready to sing I've been searching my soul tonight I know there's so much more to life Now I know I can shine a light To find my way back home Oh, baby, yeah Oh, yeah - Why is this case so important? - First, money.
Second, money.
The prenup limits her to 600,000.
He is worth 18 million.
We take 1/3 of everything over the contract, making it our biggest case.
- Biscuit? - He'll be here by 10.
It was a painful breakup.
She has little interest in a trial We have to convince her we can do this with minimal hardship for her.
- Georgia? - She went for another cappuccino.
She must know we have an army.
Let's do some research on prenups.
See if Stare like that when Mrs.
Hatfield's here.
That will get her business.
- Have you missed me? - Always.
Bygones.
Go away.
- He's on edge.
- Oh.
This is a law complaint.
It will be filed if our demands aren't met.
- What demands? - That girl.
The staring.
The office is sexually charged.
It's a hostile working environment.
Almost every woman's signed.
- You're kidding.
- I don't kid about serious issues.
- Ally will back me up on this.
- Why didn't you tell me? - You're a fathead.
- Don't have to get personal.
- Why did it turn stupid? Fathead! - Let's look at it and reach an accord.
- That's all I'm after.
Accord.
- Fine.
- What are you doing? - Asserting women's rights at work.
Sure.
What are you doing? - You think it's okay to gawk at her? - No, I think this is extreme.
- Lf they listen, this'll go away.
- Lf they fire her, she can sue.
- They can legislate her dress.
- Where do you draw the line? With all due respect, you walk around with uppity breasts.
The hair flips aren't subtle.
And perfume.
You're flammable.
What if you were called a safety risk? That's with all due respect? How'd you organize this? Secret meetings at night? - Marci Hatfield.
Ready? - Ready.
We'll talk later.
I'm not flammable.
I signed the prenup, true.
But he revoked it.
- In writing? - That's the problem.
Did he talk to anybody about revoking the prenup? Well, not in front of me.
As I told Mr.
Fish, I don't really want to go to court.
I stayed home and raised the children while he advanced up the ladder.
Since he knew I was giving up my career, he told me.
He said he couldn't hold me to a prenup if ever Um And when our marriage got bumpy, I asked him about the prenuptial and he told me directly I apologize.
He said he had instructed his lawyer to revoke the prenup and it was done.
Oh, God, no.
He's going to pick it.
I know I should have insisted.
That's why I'm here.
Well, we'll see you're protected.
First, we should research the statute of frauds for prenups.
When was the divorce? The divorce isn't final.
This battle is holding things up.
My former lawyer said there's nothing I can do and truth is, I'm inclined to just Nothing is certain, Mrs.
Hatfield.
That prenup can be pierced, I assure you.
You know, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be rude.
- I don't find you trustful.
- They're trustful.
Trust is covered.
Hey.
- What are you doing? - Looking in the mirror.
Men do too.
Well, it seemed like you were staring in the mirror.
- Are you okay? - Fine.
Whenever you're upset about something personal, you go stare at yourself.
- That's why I'm concerned.
- I'm fine.
Okay.
Can you turn on the faucet? I have a bashful bladder.
You used to look into the mirror for for me.
Now, it must be Georgia.
I'll understand if you can't share, but I am totally here for you.
I'm here for you too, for both of you.
I am here for everybody.
Just how big was this client we just tried to impress? - Big.
- Big? Big.
Big.
How impressed was the big, big client to see you excavate your nose? The client could hear whistling.
When I couldn't fix it with a sniff, I made a judgment.
To corkscrew it with your index finger? There was no corkscrew motion.
I will not stand to be disparaged.
If we sit with Elaine, we can make it go away.
I won't dignify that lawsuit.
If we don't come to the table, we'll face a walkout.
That's what she said.
Noon tomorrow.
Let's just sit, talk and buy time.
Marci Hatfield is here.
- Where? - In the conference room.
She wouldn't come back to not hire us.
This must be good.
Hey.
- Are you okay? - Me? Yeah.
Why? In the bathroom, Ally was talking in her stall about how you looking in the mirror means a problem with me.
Ally even has to drum up drama on the toilet.
When you stare in the mirror, it does mean you're upset.
Probably this stupid claim with Elaine and the women.
Yeah.
Probably.
An oral revocation won't supersede a prenup.
But every contract can be attacked for bad faith.
- It's painful to go to court.
- Your husband has a corporate profile.
The threat of court will be enough to make him negotiate.
He has a record of being a womanizer.
He won't want that out.
I don't want it out either.
He is the father of my children.
We don't need anything out.
Mrs.
Hatfield.
There's a reason you returned.
Maybe his nearby marriage triggered it? I sense, despite your desire to avoid confrontation you don't want him to get away with what he's done.
Put yourself in our hands.
It's our business to get even.
Mrs.
Hatfield.
Let us pull you even.
I'll put myself in their hands.
Don't judge my nose whistle.
I feel more comfortable with them.
- Anything you need.
- Thanks.
- Can we meet, end of the day? - Sure.
- Caroline Poop to see you.
- Who's Caroline Poop? My attorney.
This is camera one.
Camera two.
- How'd you get these tapes? - Security.
Subpoena.
Simple.
- Your nut's in a hard place.
- That's not a sexual harassment case.
You say no? The law says possible.
Does it matter? With every female employee signing? - Blackmail and abuse of process.
- I'm real concerned.
Don't take a moment.
I know how you work.
And the arrest for solicitation need not be a huge issue.
What's the bottom line? days and the girl's discharged.
- That's not fair to her! - Collect your thoughts.
We'll talk.
Talk to me, John.
She didn't give me my moment.
I'm troubled.
Is staring wrong? Staring at Whipper was how we met.
Sometimes staring's a good thing.
Indicating you're listening would be nice.
Elaine's not out to improve work.
She wants something.
- I'll have at her.
- No, she's represented by counsel.
I'll happen upon her and we'll talk.
When she goes to the unisex.
I apologize for the meeting.
- I embarrassed the firm.
- No harm, we got the client.
It's not like my nose to whistle.
Our goal is for the place to be happy.
We pay more, with more vacation time.
I'd think they're happy.
What does the lawsuit say? They're not happy.
- Are you getting a frown line? - Why can't I look in a mirror? Why is everything about you? Or Georgia? Why is everything about you or her? Can't I just look into a damn mirror? - You can.
- Thank you! That reminded me of me.
I miss you.
Oh.
Um Oh.
Uh That's sweet.
Well Making sure I didn't do what I came to do.
I'm going now.
- Ally? - Please, don't.
It's the dumbest thing in the world.
You wouldn't believe it.
- What? - You'll laugh.
You were right.
When you held that coffee cup this morning, like making love it made me remember when you and I Oh.
When Georgia and I make love, don't get me wrong, it's fantastic.
Great.
I would hate to be wrong.
But we don't look at each other.
In the eyes, I mean.
You and I.
Remember how we used to lock on to each other's eyes? - Do you remember that? - Vaguely.
It's stupid, but when I saw you with the coffee cup, it hit me what it was like to make love to you.
And I'm a little blind-sided by how it hurts to miss it.
- That's probably a normal thing.
- Maybe.
But it doesn't It's not a good feeling to be married to someone I am in love with and not be over another.
Yeah, I hate when that happens.
That's why I keep staring at the mirror all day.
Whatever I tell myself I can't escape that hit I felt when I saw you this morning.
Coffee cups.
I told you it was dumb.
I'm sure there's a right response, but it escapes me at the moment.
I'm not looking for a response.
I'm just telling you what's going on.
Okay.
Well, see you.
See you.
Once upon a time A long time ago I thought that I should leave you I thought that you should go I never really said goodbye I never even heard you cry And after all this time it's hard to say The only love I had I sent away The second carton of ice cream.
- Two cartons won't kill me.
- I know, but I wanted some.
- Should ex-lovers be honest? - Not that honest.
No way.
- Maybe it's stupid to be friends.
- Don't get me wrong.
Everyone says, "Don't get me wrong.
" Do I get everything wrong? What I'm about to say sounds like an insult so I want to buffer it.
Oh, okay.
What? Emotionally, you're an idiot.
How would you put that without the buffer? I've always said it.
You working at that firm is like a moth flying into fire.
Whoever you date, you've no chance of starting a good relationship if you're working with him.
I'll shut up.
When you make love to a guy, do you look him in the eye? If our heads are at the same end of the bed, yes.
Ew! Seriously.
No.
I never think about it.
Do you? Thinking of the few times I went to bed with men I didn't love very few.
- Of course.
No, I didn't look in their eyes.
Not during.
- Why? - I don't know.
- Maybe because it feels like a lie.
- A lie? Having eye contact with a man When you're not in love with him and you're making love If you look them in the eyes, it's some sort of promise.
- A promise of what? - Love, tomorrow, forever.
After Billy said that, I realized that if I'm not in love with a guy, I don't look in his eyes.
Not during.
I don't think you should, not if it's good.
- Really? - No.
- Well, where do you look? - I mean, you look up to one side, the other side you look down.
If you look him in the eye, he might think it hurts.
Maybe like that.
But don't scrunch up your cheeks.
- What kind of faces do you make? - Forget it.
Show me.
Show me! - I can't conjure a look on command.
- Try.
Okay.
Um Okay, here.
Um You're right.
That's a lie.
Liar! That's a lie! - It's you, John.
I see you.
- I'm not denying it's me.
Have you come to negotiate? I'm represented by counsel.
- I came to use the facilities.
- You're not a morning person.
- I've come to pee.
- Why are you sitting? - I prefer it.
- I'd hear if you were peeing.
You drank extra coffee to be ready.
You knew I'd test you.
How did it go? She's wily.
- We offer $ 100,000 above contract.
- It's not good enough.
- You want to go to court, waste money? - Do you? Your children hearing some of the grievances? This is a no-fault state, let's not start the blame.
We'll bypass "no-fault," then sue the new fiancée for interference.
- Good luck.
She lives in London.
- What is going on here? - We want to work this out.
- We came in good faith "Good faith"? That's your position? - Pound of flesh time, is that it? - Who do you think the jury will like? And whose side will your children be on? I'm disgusting.
- Your fiancée will have an opinion.
- She knows my past.
And she knows my future.
It won't include any of you.
- You said you'd cancel the prenup.
- She misunderstood.
- I said not to mention my kids.
- I know.
I was trying to scare him.
I apologize.
I don't want to do this anymore.
- So, you didn't scare him? - I don't think so.
Set up a meeting.
We got one last chance.
- What? - Just set it up.
Is this a bad time? We're walking out at noon tomorrow.
Rather than hold it over everybody's head, we'll push it to a head.
That's the best way to move ahead.
"If you can word things cleverly, it's more meaningful.
" Jesse Jacksonism.
Can I have your attention, please? If we don't cede to your demands, how many women will walk out tomorrow? Thank you.
- Have you seen Georgia? - She went to Social Law.
- It wasn't fair to say that to you.
- It's okay.
- I wasn't trying to - I know.
It's just Sometimes I think you see through me anyway.
It feels like a lie not to tell you things.
Look, Billy if we're to be friends we've got to draw some lines.
- I know.
I'm a fan of honesty, but I'm only so strong.
- There are areas we should avoid.
- I agree.
If I can't have a cup of coffee - Ally, I agree.
I apologize.
- Okay.
And as long as we're drawing lines Do you think it's possible to not feign orgasms in the office? That wasn't orgasmic.
You should know what I sound like when I Lines, we are drawing lines.
And I'll watch the coffee.
Okay.
- See ya.
- See ya.
- I feel chemicals.
What did I miss? - Nothing.
You're just in time.
- In time for what? - In time for this.
I like you, and despite our friction, I enjoy working with you.
- Your good intentions are dangerous.
- A snappish remark in a soft tone.
You always have a project.
Some quest du jour.
The face bra, the lawsuit.
This quest is selfish.
- That's your limited opinion.
- Lf the women walk, the firm closes.
You threaten Mr.
Hatfield to get more money.
That's all I'm doing.
My God, she has a point.
The lawsuit's a tool to advance us.
It's in the spirit of Richard Fish.
- I bet he's proud of this.
- He isn't finding "spirit" in it.
Aside from all that, I Oh, never mind.
You have something to say.
Okay.
There's something a little desperate about you.
- I know.
I have my own - Problems? Yes.
Your problem is that you need to be included to be in the middle, so you invent ways to be in the center.
That's what this lawsuit's about.
And it makes me feel sorry for you.
It makes you look sad.
John Cage fed you that.
This speech was just a maneuver.
You don't fool me.
Excuse me.
- What's up, Richard? - We've struck gold.
You like photos? - What's this? - I had Hatfield followed last night.
There's a rumor of a mistress, since his fiancée's in London.
Oh.
- What do we do with these? - We extort, that's what we do.
What's he afraid of? Not his past, but perhaps, his future.
- Lf his bride-to-be saw these - Not to be a naive schoolgirl I'm not comfortable with this.
- Why? - Why? - Richard, this is gumshoe law.
- You're threatening bad publicity.
This is the next level.
It's no shift in philosophy.
This crosses the line.
Tailing? Invading privacy? - We didn't "Gifford," only follow.
- It feels awful.
I'll take the meeting, but that sends a mixed message of dissension.
Lawyers play cards.
This is in your hands.
You'll play it.
I didn't realize we were this kind of law firm.
Neither did I.
- Cappuccinos! - Excellent! Come on, let's go somewhere private and drink these.
I don't do that anymore.
The women around here have strength in numbers and solidarity.
Tick, tick, tock, high noon approaches.
Would you take a bribe? Kidding.
- Would you let us discuss this? - Discuss? We're all lawyers.
Have the wisdom to collapse.
It's cheap-umbrella time.
- Just the same, can we? - 20 minutes.
I'll wait outside.
I think she's got us.
- We'd be on the cover of Law Weekly.
- It's nothing but blatant - Extortion! - You can call it that.
It is that.
- I'm going to report you to the Bar.
- Ouch.
If your fiancée knew of your life, she'd see her future differently.
- You like to pull this kind of slime? - We live with ourselves just fine.
- The issue is, do you live with it? - You're wonderfully moral people.
You cheated on your wife.
You lied to her, and you cheat on your next wife.
Talk about morality, Mr.
Hatfield.
- They made an offer? - They offered 2.
We said 3 ½.
- Be happy, we made money-winning ugly.
- I don't like your tone.
Not to be a pest, but it's 11:45 and the girls want lunch.
Anything? Elaine actually got us? She is well-organized and wily.
Can I have your attention, please? Everybody? I'll make this brief.
John and I started this firm because we wanted to work at a fun place.
Make money.
Throw office parties.
Fun workplace.
Employees always gripe, it's part of being an employee.
Don't like people staring at girls or tactics we use to win.
Employees complain.
But this lawsuit carries the gripe too far.
It saps the fun out of it.
Since fun was the point anybody that isn't happy, leave.
And if you all go, we'll start another firm.
It's declare time.
If we file the complaint, is there a chance we'd win? - Snowball.
- In hell? Are we ready to walk out? Raise your hands.
The strike was a formality.
We have been heard.
Hey.
- Well, they're all staying.
- Hm.
You called their bluff.
- The suit's over.
- Great.
Why aren't you happy? It's because they needed jobs.
- Where would they go? - They like it here.
Elaine had them all whipped up.
- They like it here a lot.
- As much as you, I'm sure.
I love it here, but I don't like what I do all the time.
What we do is connected to what the place is.
It's inconsistent to like it here and not like what you do.
What this place is, is evolving.
We're young lawyers.
We're kids.
You work on me, I'll work on you.
And I look forward to one day when I wake up, come here and find you with character.
Now, that's the challenge of it.
And that is fun.
I plan to have character one day.
But if you want riches you get the money before the scruples.
That's a - You know.
- Fishism.
When I dreamed it up, it was as an alternative to those stuffy firms.
I want it to be fun.
It's a party, Richard.
I promise.
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone It's gracious of you to forgive me so quickly.
I was on a search for some internal fulfillment.
- Ally and I are similar.
- Yeah, spitting image.
Bygones.
People think you're strange if you sit there and don't talk.
- I'm an enigma.
- You're a cute little enigma.
If we go to the dance floor, can you hold your own against my bosom? - Don't you have a date with the rabbi? - I had to reschedule.
It's hard dating a rabbi after a day of blackmail.
It was easier being sleazy knowing you were with me.
Thanks.
I'm going to go up and pack.
I'll be right back.
I'll be here with the Biscuit.
- Tell Billy to hurry up, will you? - I will.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Your wife's waiting at the bar.
She misses you.
Yeah.
I was getting ready to go.
Wild day, huh? I can't say it's boring here.
Nope.
Going home early to shower? - How did you know? - Don't hate yourself over the photos.
We should hope that's as dirty as our hands get on this job.
Yeah.
Billy.
You know what I said before about drawing lines? I've been thinking a lot about We say we're friends like it's a consolation prize The truth um for me Our friendship is the greatest thing I have.
I cherish it.
I don't want to put honesty boundaries on it.
Me neither.
So? So Free fall with the truth.
Hope we both survive.
Deal? Deal.
- See ya.
- See ya.
So I send this out Wherever you may be To tell you I still love you You're still a part of me If you can ever find a way Then I'll be hoping for the day You can smile and tell me it's okay That the only love I had I sent away You stinker!