Britannia (2017) s01e08 Episode Script

1 Supper time! Those leaves and twigs that you boiled up this morning? It's called Bramble-Beard Soup.
Have you noticed that I am not able to walk for more than 50 paces without stopping for a crap? It's an acquired taste.
You'll get used to it.
[KERRA.]
You made a deal with my enemy.
Antedia's army is standing by if this doesn't work out, and you want me to trust you? Do you want to bed her before she dies? Here's some advice keep an eye on your husband.
[AULUS.]
Send word to the Regni.
They can start their siege.
[GILDAS.]
Do you trust him? Not as far as I could shit him.
[DIVIS.]
I think I know why the Romans came.
Lokka, the Great Earth Demon, has come to destroy you.
Seize them! - Guards! - [GUARD.]
Protect the Queen! You have made a big mistake here today.
Together, we must destroy Lokka.
Together? [ISLENE.]
They are singing your name, sister.
The dead are singing your name! It turns out you're not a pointless, annoying, interfering little pain in the ass.
Thank you.
You saw Islene? Answer me, lass.
- Yes.
- She told you something about the Underworld about you.
[CAIT.]
Yes.
[SAWYER.]
That man out there he said there's a prophecy.
- It's what's written.
It's - [CAIT.]
Destiny.
He explained it to me too.
Do you believe him? I don't know what to believe.
If it was Islene, if that's who you saw, then it's true.
That's what I'm afraid of.
[SAWYER.]
You've a journey to go on, lass, a very important journey.
Your friend out there he's going to take care of you.
What do you mean? What's he been saying? Wait, what about you? Cait where you're going, there's great danger.
No.
You don't need a blind man slowing you down.
- No.
Absolutely not.
- Cait You said I'm in charge.
Well, I'm not leaving you, and that's that.
You are in charge.
You saved my life.
I trust you to do what's right.
I can't do it.
I can't lose you again.
Come here.
You're just going on a journey.
All right? That's what children do.
They grow up, they go on their way, and then they come back and tell their old dad all about it.
Now, it may not be in this world, but I know I'll see you again.
Your sister too.
We'll all be together.
Where will you go? Don't worry about me.
I'm not ready.
They're calling for you, Cait.
You know what you have to do for me for Islene for us all.
Put me on the Southern Road.
I know that path like the back of my hand.
How will you manage? Don't worry about me.
[CRIES.]
You better have this right, Outcast, or I will find you, eyes or no eyes.
Before you know it, you'll be searching 'round the floor for yours.
- Clear? - Crystal.
[SINGING.]
A ghaoil leig dhachaigh gum mhathair mi A ghraidh leig dhachaigh gum mhathair mi A ghaoil leig dhachaigh gum mhathair mi He's doomed.
What? [GASPS, SOBS.]
Thrown like a star in my vast sleep I opened my eyes to take a peek To find that I was by the sea Gazing with tranquillity 'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing songs of love Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing Songs of love Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy Hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy Hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang [WIND BLOWS AND WHISTLES.]
[SOLDIERS YELL.]
Are you not cold, Mother? Thank you, my darling boy.
My burning need for vengeance keeps me toasty.
It's been four moons.
Perhaps we should parley.
Parley my balls.
This is just getting interesting.
[ELDER.]
The meat is finished.
The hogs, hens, cattle even the horses.
How much wheat do we have left in the store? Two moons' worth.
- Then we eat bread.
- For two moons.
Then porridge.
- For three moons.
Then what? - Three winter moons.
When winter bites, we'll see how she likes it out there.
We'll see whose will is stronger.
[HAWK SQUAWKS.]
[HISSES.]
[AULUS.]
You must be wondering why I summoned you all here.
This is Ashur Ram and his brother, Aziz, from the plains of Assyria.
I know Ashur Ram.
Our paths have crossed many times and who has not heard of Hella, The Irish Raven, Slayer of Pharaohs.
Her deeds are fabled in all the four corners I've no idea who you are.
Them neither.
Where's the gold? Your messenger said a hundred solidus, up front.
Don't you want to know your task first? First I want to see the gold.
[AZIZ.]
Who is it you seek, General? One of the Cantii.
A young girl.
She left the Citadel four months ago with her blind father.
A small girl and a blind father? This is the prophecy of the Druids.
It's the girl I want.
Whoever brings me her head, that man or woman shall have ten times this amount.
[LOUD THUD.]
Now, you are all criminals some under sentence of execution from the Senate itself, but whoever does this will have the protection of the Emperor [WHISPERED.]
Fuck.
Throughout the Empire, in perpetuity.
- What's that? - A crossbow.
How much? It's not for sale.
I haven't got all day.
Be warned.
It's powerful.
[HORSE WHINNIES.]
I am Jhehutamisu Akbolla Ramses.
My poisons work fast and slow.
It's the slow ones you should fear.
[HAWK SCREECHES.]
[AULUS.]
The Siege at Crugdunon, Day 131.
The snows have not yet fallen.
The pact with Queen Antedia holds strong, and the Twentieth Valeria Victrix Legion are on their way from Rutupiae So you speak for the Emperor now.
And you listen at doorways.
Let's get one thing straight.
It was me blinded that bastard.
No one asked me to.
No djinni appeared.
No centaur galloped up and whispered in my ear.
I just felt like it.
Now, are you telling me that I did that because I was supposed to do it? So no one made you do it.
Correct.
You just thought you would.
Correct.
You punished prisoners before.
Dozens.
Ever blinded any? My first time.
What did you see that you didn't like so much? He was a cunt.
You'd have done exactly the same.
I wasn't there.
You were.
I could have cut his tongue out.
- But you didn't.
- But I could have.
- But you didn't.
- But I could have! But you didn't.
Fuck this.
I'm going to go take a dump.
Now, I'm fairly certain that's my idea, but just in case it's in some fucking prophecy, does it say how often I should wipe my arse? You're not working for the Emperor.
So who the fuck are you working for? Knock knock.
Everything all right? Fine.
Well, chop-chop.
Time to go and visit the old bat.
[CHATTER.]
[KERRA.]
Leave us.
So this is all we have, all that's left.
[LINDON.]
This is it.
It'll buy us some time.
To do what? Since the day the Romans landed, this fortress was doomed.
I knew it.
I believe even your father knew it.
Do you ever wonder if we should have fled? Just you and I? Every day but then I look at those faces out there in the courtyard those hungry children's faces.
You have no choice.
Surrender to the Romans.
Pay their taxes.
- I'm afraid it's too late for that.
- It's not too late.
Their general, Aulus he'll never trust me again.
- Why? - Because I know who he is.
I know what he is and I know what he wants.
What do you mean? He came here talking taxes but he was looking for something else.
Give up the fortress.
The people will be spared.
We both know Antedia will not spare a single soul.
She will kill me last and make me watch every one of them die.
[SIZZLING.]
Mmm, smell that.
Doesn't it smell wonderful? A few more weeks, they'll be clean out of corn.
They'll have to eat their dogs, then their belts.
Then it's the old shoe soup.
Before long, they'll be eyeing up their kids for cuts.
Then, my son, we'll parley.
Ah Welcome.
Just in time for breakfast.
[AULUS CHUCKLES.]
Where's this legion you promised me? The Twentieth Valeria Victrix are on their way from Rutupiae.
Their dispatch riders liaised with ours two days ago.
[GILDAS.]
Two days? We could move a thousand men here from Noviomagus Reginorum in half that time.
If I had any idea where that was, I'm sure I'd be impressed.
Now, this spy of yours, the one at the fortress I think it's time we used him.
I'll pick my moment.
Well, maybe we can pick it together.
Are you doubting my strategy? I've been laying sieges back when your father still fancied your mother.
I think it's time.
Gildas.
Send this to our friend at the citadel.
- What's wrong with your bum chum? - Oh he's lost his appetite.
What's wrong, pretty boy? Don't you like my cooking? The Queen asked you a question.
- I'm not hungry.
- Not hungry? Do you hear that, Kerra? Our friend here isn't even hungry and to think, someone would give their right arm for a plate like that.
Now, eat my eggs or I'll get angry.
[AULUS CHUCKLES.]
[CROW CAWS.]
What? What? You just said you've been thinking.
I've been thinking that we should maybe Stay in.
Exactly.
[THEY INHALE.]
[EXHALES.]
Hello there.
Hello, friend.
Come in.
[LOUD CRASH.]
[GRUNTING, GASPING.]
Where is the girl? Hello.
What do you want? I'm hungry.
I wondered if you could spare some food.
Here, girlie.
We'll give you some food.
Why don't you come and sit down next to me? [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
We'll give you some.
Don't be scared.
Why don't you come and sit on my knee? [CAIT.]
Thank you.
That's very kind.
Hold on.
- What's this? - What is it? It's pretty, isn't it? It's lovely.
Keep looking at it at the centre.
Are you looking at the centre? Good.
Now as the breeze blows across As the breeze blows across your face, you feel sleepy As the cold wind blows across your face [CAIT.]
As the cold wind blows across uh Now, as the breeze Across your face [SCREAMING.]
As the breeze blows across your face, you feel sleepy! After 'em! After 'em! After them! Where's she gone? "As the breeze blows across your face, you feel sleepy.
Your eyelids get heavy, and you drift into the peace and sanctuary of sleep.
" I was nervous.
Cold wind? It's fucking cold.
I don't fucking care how cold it is.
It's supposed to be dreamy! You fucked up.
Nearly got us killed.
I'm trying, all right? Well, try fucking harder.
You couldn't charm a fucking cat.
Unbelievable.
We have to move.
Those soldiers are looking for us now.
Prime spot.
River, rabbits all over but no! Let's move! Let's move because you can't even It's hard.
When I was still a child, I could charm a village with a fucking stick.
Just fuck off, would you? Four moons, and you don't know what the birds are doing, what the winds mean.
You're useless.
It's like trying to teach a tree.
[SIZZLING, SCREAMING.]
[GRUNTS.]
This is the last time that I ask.
Where is the girl? Wait! Wait Way back I saw a blind man and a girl.
When? Well, that is that's tricky, 'cause time has gotten a bit weird.
[GRUNTS.]
Where was she? Outside, at the crossroads out of the village.
She went north.
He went south.
With another man.
That's all I know! [GRUNTS.]
Wait! Wait! You're right.
That is powerful.
Was worth every penny.
[HE STRUGGLES FOR BREATH.]
Thanks for humping my gold all this way and all.
I appreciate it.
Where are the crossroads? [CAIT.]
This prophecy it mentions a small daughter BOTH: And a blind father.
- What's your point? - So what about me and my dad What do you mean? Oh, I see where this is going.
Do you? Because I think everyone can.
For a start, he wasn't blind to start with.
Blind father.
Small daughter.
Who knows? Perhaps you're the blind man.
Let me tell you something else the prophecy says.
You want to know what happens next? I'll tell you.
Lokka, in his rage, releases three hellhounds to track down the Chosen One.
There.
How do you like that? Hellhounds? Hellhounds.
- What's a hellhound? - I'll tell you what it isn't.
It's not a good thing.
It's not a fucking pet.
What happens? In the prophecy, what happens after the hellhounds are released? What happens to the Chosen One? I don't know.
You don't know? That's as far as I got.
[CAIT.]
Why? I told you.
They threw me out.
So you don't know the ending.
No.
Oh, I see.
At any point, does the prophecy make any mention of you? The prophecy is not comprehensive.
Here we go.
It's supposed to be mysterious.
It doesn't mention every little detail.
Are you sure you're even supposed to be here? Perhaps I'd do better on my own.
Don't be ridiculous.
You need me.
Oh, because you're so important.
So useful that at any moment, you could turn back into a demon and tear my head off.
You've changed.
You haven't.
You're still a prick.
Ever since you found out you're special, you've got all the answers.
I'll tell you what a hellhound is.
It's something that says, "You better start concentrating, start trying a little harder 'cause this is no game.
" [HAWK CRIES.]
Fine work, my beauty.
She is not with a blind man.
She is with a Druid.
[WHOOSH, THUD.]
The bird's a bit of a giveaway.
I could see it for miles.
[EXHALES PAINFULLY.]
Which are the fast ones, and which are the slow ones? Go to hell.
Funny, I've just come from there.
So Jhehutamisu Akbolla Ramses why don't you tell me about this prophecy? [VITUS.]
Everything all right, Praefectus? Praefectus? Thank you, Vitus.
[AULUS, DISTANT.]
Word has come from the Twentieth Valeria Victrix Legion Outriders.
They're a day's march from Crugdunon.
[JHEHUTAMISU GURGLES.]
What's your name, scribe? Marcus.
Come here.
Sit with me.
Sit.
Thank you.
- Do you have children? - I have four daughters, one born in each season.
And do you ever think, Marcus, that when we're gone when we're just bones and a few teeth, half a bucket of sludge that your words are all they'll have to know what went on up here? Yeah, but think about it.
People will read your words, and they'll think "That's what happened.
That's what they did.
" So without you, this is all just a dream of the past.
So you're a very important man, Marcus because you you whisper to the future.
Drink.
[CLANKING, SLAMMING DOOR.]
Peckish? Untie me.
[IN FRENCH.]
Pardonnez-moi, monsieur mais non.
For almost a moon, we've not heard from you.
Is there nothing to report? The food stocks are dwindling.
Not fast enough.
There are less than three moons' grain.
How's the new queen? Bit of a test, this, for a fledgling? The Queen guides her people well.
She gives them comfort.
I'm going to let you into a little secret, Gaul.
Ever since I was a little girl, I've been able to tell when men are telling me the truth.
All I have to do is close my eyes, hear their words, and I can tell whether it's a lie or not.
So I'm going to ask you a question, and I'm going to close my eyes, and if you lie to me, I'm going to slice off your testicles and fry them up in my big frying pan, and have you eat them and I'm sure, hungry as you are, you will wolf them down.
What are your feelings for the new queen? I know where my allegiance lies.
Louder, please.
I know where my allegiance lies.
Then do your duty, Gaul! [BLOWS OUT CANDLES.]
[BLOWING.]
Is all well? [CRACK.]
[STRUGGLING, GASPING.]
[SLICING.]
[STABBING.]
[AULUS.]
Better now? Poor Marcus.
You know he had four daughters? One born in every season.
Tell me, my friend was this all your own work or did you have help? What have I done? We've reached the end of the road, you and I but for old times' sake, I will give you some advice and you'd better take it.
Run.
[DROPPING SWORD.]
[LUCIUS.]
Make way! [GUARD.]
Fire! Fire! [YELLING.]
Hey, hey! There is nothing we can do.
[FLAMES RUMBLE AND ROAR.]
Rumbly-tums.
Rumbly-tums.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DIVIS.]
The sun is low in the West, and the starlings swoop low through the forest.
Take your time.
After three days of rain, you find Angel cap mushrooms on the north side of an elderly oak.
All right.
Arrange these nine bones in such a way to tell you if danger's near.
My father's dead.
Your father's a resourceful guy.
He can look after himself.
He's blind.
I deserted him.
- Listen - I swore an oath to protect him.
All right.
It was a terrible mistake.
I should never have left him.
Everyone I love, everyone I've cared for, who cares for me, is dead.
Listen I'm not strong enough.
Whatever was supposed to happen it's not going to happen because of me.
I know that now.
I know it clearer than anything.
I'm not the one.
Whatever you thought I was, I'm not.
What would Islene say right now? Maybe I should ask her.
And how are you going to do that? - Take me to the Underworld.
- No.
No I have to see them.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
You have none of the skills, the ways, the paths.
You would never be able to return.
Who says I want to? Oh, all right.
I didn't know you were that weak.
I did.
I always did.
Look at us.
We're nowhere.
We're nowhere.
You're delirious.
You've eaten no food.
I'm going to fetch water.
[SNIFFLES.]
Ddylai hi fod yn gryfach.
Pam nad yw hi'n deall? [RIPPING.]
Nid yw hyn yn gwneud.
Ai hi yw hon, wir? Roedd yr arwyddion yn gryf? Celwyddgwn? [PANTING.]
[TEARFUL.]
Dad I'm coming.
Wait for me no more.
Fuck.
Fuck! I was wrong.
I was wrong! [GRUNTING.]
Look in my eyes.
Now keep looking.
[SPLASH.]
No! [METAL SLICES, DIVIS SCREAMS.]
[SLICING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[CHOKES.]
Histories of ages past Unenlightened shadows cast Down through all eternity The crying of humanity 'Tis then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Comes singing songs of love Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Comes singing songs