CHiPs (1977) s01e08 Episode Script
Green Thumb Burglar
Watch it, you dumb idiot! Where'd you get your license, in a PX? You clown, I'll run you right off the road! I'm not gonna let you forget this! You're gonna hurt my car.
You better watch out.
Three dollars a dozen? I'll take one dozen.
For Georgia.
That's your dream date, right? Right on.
Three bones exactly.
I'll bet you tell all the girls you pay $ 15 a dozen.
Hey, partner.
For Georgia, I'd pay 17.
50 plus tax.
Fat slob! I'm gonna get you.
Pull over! L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3, we have an 11-82, Rollover, westbound San Bernardino west of Herbert and send an 11-85 and a car unit.
Hey, mister.
You chowderhead! This is my wife's car, you idiot.
- You dumb idiot.
- Listen.
- For crying out loud, you - You've done your play Hey, hey.
Hey.
Get that big slob off me.
- Let me at him.
- I'm gonna pulverize that pig.
Break it up.
- Come on.
- Okay, officer.
Okay.
I'm gonna - Now hold it, guys.
- Listen, you.
- Cool it, all right? Cool it.
- I'm not gonna forget this.
You'll never forget it.
- I'm not through with him.
- Be a nice guy.
- I'll blind you.
- Come on, let's go.
Okay, I'm going quiet.
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm great.
- You want some help? - No, I can handle this.
I just slipped.
- I'm not through with this chowderhead.
- You don't punch anybody, understand? You just got sent to the showers, old buddy.
Keep an eye on these two.
They been drinking.
I'll give a call for another tow.
- Why are you arresting me? He started it.
- Maybe, but you tried to finish it and me.
Congratulations, meathead.
You really did it this time.
Yeah, I'll cool it after I cool him.
Hey, what's seems to be the problem with you two, huh? That guy stole my parking place at work.
That was my parking place.
- Sit down right here.
- Yeah, okay, all right.
Hey, thanks a lot for the helping hand, okay? - Thank the Green Thumb Burglars.
- The who? Treenappers, landscape thieves.
We're replanting a whole stand of saplings that they ripped off.
You gotta be kidding.
- What are they gonna do with them? - Guess they sell them.
Well, back to work.
- See you.
- Later.
- Thanks again.
- So long.
You believe that, Jon? A 211 on shrubs.
Yeah, well, I guess people will steal anything, anymore.
"211 on shrubs" wasn't that funny.
It's not that.
It's just that, if cleanliness were next to godliness you'd be a long ways from heaven.
Three-seventy-five again? Man, if I was your cleaner, I could retire, you know it? I'm glad I'm going home.
Give me a chance to put Georgia's roses in water.
You sure have Georgia on your mind.
Oh, Jon, now, that's clever.
What can I say? Hey, that's a four-way stop sign.
You ladies mind stepping out of the car? - Hey, you're twins.
- Synonymous.
Yeah, and you look alike too.
Hey, Jon.
Ponch.
The ladies mind stepping to the rear of the car? - Step to the rear, please.
- Sure.
Come back here, thank you.
We'll be with you in just a minute.
- They saw the switch.
- They didn't see us switch.
I sure can't afford a ticket.
I don't wanna lose my driver's license.
Heavens, whatever happened to your uniform? - May I see your driver's? - Isn't he a mess, Paulette? Cute, though.
Just like a mud pie.
Thanks.
May I see your driver's license, please? Why me? She was driving.
Sorry, ma'am.
We saw the switch and we're not buying today.
Don't you recognize us? We're the Tidwell twins.
I mean, we're famous.
Everybody knows the Tidwell twins.
We give psychic readings.
- Psychics? - Yeah.
If you're psychics, maybe you can figure out why I need your license.
Ladies, please.
Give him your license so we can write you a citation for running that stop sign.
Are you trying to say that I was driving? - No, I'm telling you that you - You're wrong, officer.
My sister doesn't know how to drive.
Well, ma'am, I have to agree with you.
You are a very fresh young man.
What's your name? Punjello.
I won't forget that.
Yes, ma'am.
And in the future, I'd advise you both to watch your stop signs.
Well, giving advice is my business too.
And what I see in the future is giving me great enjoyment.
Oh, don't, Lottie, don't.
Don't you wanna know what I see in your future? Go on, lady, take your best shot.
Today's been nothing but a bummer.
Well, your bummer has just begun.
I caution you first, to beware of sharp objects.
I always make it a point to.
Very funny.
But you won't be so glib very soon.
Second, I see conflict with an authority figure.
Third, you will be in danger from fire.
And fourth: You're going to experience a devastating romantic setback.
Sign right there, please.
And how much do I owe you for the reading? The pleasure of this one's all mine.
Drive carefully, ladies.
I told you we wouldn't get away with it.
Yeah, don't forget your ticket.
Don't forget your ticket.
- Thank you.
Have a nice day.
- Next time Next time, we'll have to smile more.
You believe that? Yeah, well she really put the curse on you.
Oh, come on, psychics don't know anything.
Besides I have my fingers crossed.
Sweet roses.
Oh, yeah.
For you, Georgia.
Where did you get this frog? Oh, I won it at the carnival last night.
Oh, well, didn't what's-her-name? Sally, didn't she want it? Beats me.
What do you mean? Wasn't she your date? Yeah, so? Why didn't you give the frog to her? Hey, Sally didn't win it, I did.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, old buddy, you hungry? - Ready for some food? - No, thanks, Ponch.
Why don't we run down somewhere like the health? Hey, there's plenty of food here.
No offense, Ponch, but can't we just run down? I'm not hungry.
Oh, what tasty morsels we have here.
Oh, yeah.
Tuna and beans? Yeah, a feast fit for a king.
Ah, you'll love it anyway.
This stuff is real tasty.
- What happened? - I cut myself.
- Oh, a sharp object? - Now, that's stupid, Jon.
Madame Butterball couldn't predict a sunrise at dawn.
- Yeah, well, I hope you're sure.
- Hey.
Coincidence, that's all.
Oh, yeah.
Strictly coincidence, that's all.
Yeah.
Hello, little guys.
Here's papa.
Gonna give you some food and make you look real nice.
Hey, you got bugs.
You got bugs.
We're gonna have to find out where they are.
I'll bring some stuff tomorrow and see if we can fix you up.
Hey, sarge.
Talking to yourself? Or the plants? Is that Officer Punjello? The same Officer Punjello I just got a 30-minute telephone complaint about? The same impertinent, mud-spattered probationer who harasses little old ladies? Hey, sarge, it was a righteous cite.
They were running a stop sign.
Yeah, and they tried to pull the old switch number on us.
They said you were plastered with mud.
What happened? Oh, I slipped and fell while I was making a bust.
- Is that what happened, Baker? - Oh, yeah, approximately.
Yeah, well Where were you when all this was going on, huh, Baker? I was too scared to move, sarge.
That's just as I thought.
You collared them both, right? No, just one.
Caltrans workers helped with the other guy.
I also helped too, you know.
Our hero.
No, I'll take care of that.
I'll take care of that.
Hey, you didn't happen to hear about the thieves that ripped off two stands of saplings on the San Diego? Again? Why, those dirty That's the last straw.
What do you mean? Man's inhumanity to man, Baker.
You can't even plant a sapling without the poor little things getting ripped off.
You act like they were yours.
They're everybody's.
Shrubs and trees and little plants are the living, breathing essence of nature.
Fighting for their very existence in this concrete world we live in.
We didn't know you cared.
Of course you didn't.
Just be at the afternoon briefing.
Sarge, we're on patrol.
Be at the briefing.
Briefing.
- "Punjello.
" You believe that lady? - Wait, that's number two.
- What? - Yeah, Madame Butterball.
Remember, the sharp object? The authority figure and next: Come on, Getraer is no great prediction.
Dig these up.
They're worth about 50 bucks a piece.
Sam, you get these and I'll get the oleanders, okay? - Remarkable.
- Spectacular.
- Ponch.
- Hi, Georgia.
Gee, you look sensational.
- What's happening, Ponch? - Oh, the usual.
Busy keeping the streets safe for you ladies.
Sounds dangerous.
Hey, don't push me, babe.
You know how I hate to brag about myself.
- Ponch, about tonight, I - We're still on, huh? Of course, I just wondered what time you're gonna pick me up.
How's about 8:00? - Perfect.
- Okay.
Hey.
There's a sneak preview at the drive-in plus, there's a very suggestive cartoon.
Relax.
You're in good hands.
I can hardly wait.
Bye, Ponch.
Bye, Jon.
Catch you later.
Did you hear that? She can hardly wait.
I hate to remind you, Ponch.
But Madame Butterball said, "Devastating romantic setback.
" I tell you, Jon, from your perceptive point of view is Madame Butterball wrong, or is she wrong? Yeah, well I guess she's wrong.
All right.
All right.
Listen up, you guys.
Just a few changes from the morning line.
Before you go out on patrol, pick up the new hot car sheets.
And be sure and check out that dead end off of Valley Circle.
We've had reports of drag racing.
There was an accident yesterday.
All right.
All right.
Now, this is really important.
Those Green Thumb Burglars that hit the East Valley? They've moved into our area.
And they're hitting on plants, shrubs and small trees.
As soon as Caltrans gets a sector planted these vermin move in and wipe the whole thing out.
I hope I can convey to you the importance of this situation.
Sarge? - Yeah? - I wanna know something.
Stealing plants along the freeway No, Ponch.
Isn't that what they call highway robbery? All right, all right.
Laugh it up, laugh it up.
But those guys are in our sector now and it's up to us to catch them.
What kind of plants are we looking for, sarge? Now, there's a sensible question, Baker.
Their last haul included Agonis flexuosa, Elaeagnus pungens Acacia longifolia and Pyracantha Walderi.
- What is that? - That means greens and shrubs, Ponch.
And here's the kicker.
To date, these Green Thumb Burglar creeps have ripped off in excess of $60,000 worth of the taxpayers' foliage.
That's a lot of bucks.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like that.
All right, crime crushers.
Move out.
What's with the guy in the sports car? He's okay.
Help's on the way.
Come on, move it on up.
Let's go.
- Hey, Fritz.
- Hey, Ponch, Jon.
- What's happening? - Not much.
Take a look at that.
Hey, you all right? Why, what's wrong? Sure you're not hurt? Positively, all I am is a little stuck in here.
You think this will affect my insurance rates? I'm sure your insurance company will take notice of it.
After all, you are totally totaled.
The high cost of living.
You know, just last month I reported a crushed taillight.
A simple taillight, and you know what? - What? - They upped my rates.
You're right, officer.
I'm really gonna hear about this one.
Oh, boy.
Well, just relax, all right? - Give these guys a hand, maybe.
- Can I help you out? - Yeah, you can hook the chain up for us.
- Hey, hey, come on, watch it.
What are you doing? What's happening here? Be careful where you put that, will you? Come on, now.
Be careful.
- Just relax, all right? - Wait a minute.
I got a speaking engagement at the Automobile Club tonight.
Come on.
Watch out with that, will you? - Just hang in there, it's all right.
- What are you doing? Is there any air in the left tire there? - It's a good tire.
- Just hang in there.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Now, stop that, will you? Stop it.
I think I hurt myself.
You got it? The driver was okay.
- What happened? - The MG cut across in front of it.
I've got the report right here.
Hey, look, gas.
The flare.
Hey, driver! - Let's hit it.
- Right, captain.
We better set up a foam truck rendezvous.
Yeah, but let's keep her rolling.
Got to keep the flames back.
Hey, miss! Hey! Your rig is on fire! Don't! Don't stop! I can't hear you! Your rig is on fire! I said, your rig is on fire! Back there, the tail! Oh, my God! No, no, don't slow down! Keep moving! But I'll blow up! The wind is blowing the flames back! Stay at 55! Hey! Hey, we need a foam truck! Take it off the vineland exit and we'll rendezvous at the vacant parking lot! Okay.
L.
A.
Engine 36.
Come on, Jon.
We'll leapfrog ahead and clear the traffic.
Just keep going! Hold it.
How am I doing? You're doing fine! Easy! Easy, now! Slow it down! That's right, easy, easy.
Slow down.
Easy.
Get out.
Right here is fine.
Both two inch and a half.
It's all right, come on.
Everything's gonna be all right.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
Look at this.
- I did it.
I did it.
- Did what? I beat her.
I beat Madame Butterball.
I cut my finger.
Getraer jumped all over me, but the fire didn't get me.
She didn't say the fire was gonna get you.
She just said there was danger of fire.
Oh, come on, Jon.
Admit it.
Madame Butterball finally blew her cool.
Why are you getting so excited? I thought you didn't believe in psychics? I don't.
Yeah? Where's your bike? Right here.
What took you so long? The Chippies are getting thick around here.
We gotta be careful.
Yeah, okay.
I'll give you 500 for it.
You're kidding.
Six hundred.
Five-fifty tops.
I gotta watch my overhead.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, Ponch.
I've been thinking about those Green Thumb Burglars.
Yeah, well, what about them? How do you know if a guy's putting a plant in the ground or taking it out? You tap him on the shoulder and you ask.
Oh, funny.
No, seriously.
I mean, you know those plant planters that we see every day? Maybe they are the plantnappers.
- Will you run that by me again? - Yeah.
Maybe these guys are dressing up like Caltrans landscapers.
They got the truck, the whole bit.
That's a good theory, Jon.
You finished? I'd like to water my plants.
- Yeah, I'm all through.
- Yeah.
- Hey, sarge.
- Yup? Listen to this idea.
How can you tell if a dude's putting a plant in the ground or taking it out? - What, Frank? - Well, what I mean is maybe those freeway plants are being boosted from right under our noses all day long.
- All right.
- You know? Guys dressed like Caltrans workers? That's a good theory, Frank.
That's a great theory.
Thanks, old buddy.
Hey, what? Hey, I didn't tell him I thought of it.
Central units, this is S4.
I've come up with a possible M.
O.
On the Green Thumb Burglar.
Check all Caltrans workers involved in landscaping detail.
Check personal identification as well as vehicle registration.
Check all landscape contractors as well.
This is a priority call.
I want immediate action out there.
These crimes could be going on right under our very noses.
Four lane, southbound, Golden State Freeway.
- We're gonna get them.
- Yeah, I know we're gonna get them.
But I was just standing here thinking.
It's amazing how many people in central are just so ingenious.
That's a no-no, sarge.
- What? - Stealing someone else's brainchild.
That's right, and as a matter of fact I think I'll book both of you on grand theft of theory.
Both? Bye.
Oh, hi, Jon.
- Oh, hi, Georgia.
How's it going? - Fantastic.
- Yeah.
- Where's Ponch? - He'll be back in a minute.
- Can't wait.
I've got all these reports to file.
- Plus, I'm on the phone.
- Wait a minute.
Nothing's wrong, is there? I mean, something devastating? Oh, no.
Everything's super fantastic.
Tell Ponch I'll talk to him.
Okay.
Sorry to hold you up, guys.
I've got to check your IDs.
Thanks.
Hey, thanks.
It's the sergeant's idea.
I almost forgot to tell you.
Georgia back at Central wanted to talk to you.
Yeah, what about? I don't know.
But she sure was turned on about something.
Hey, she's been turned on ever since I asked her out.
Yeah, yeah, I know, but she said she'll talk to you later.
She probably wanted to ask what to wear on our date tonight.
- Ladies are always trying to please me.
- Yeah, that's probably it.
Hey, Jon, how's your vision? - Your vision.
- It's 20/20.
Why? Take a look across the street, tell me what you see.
- Call it in.
- What is it? If I knew, I'd call it in.
Let's check it out.
Hi.
Officer, I can explain this.
You see, I was late for this photo session Mind stepping out of the car, please? L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 4, give me a 10-28 on a 8-4-9-Sam-Zebra-Yellow.
Okay, guys, let's hustle it up.
I am really sorry, officers.
But my PR man scheduled me for a photo session.
And my driver didn't show up.
I apologize for the inconvenience, but Come on, Jon.
Don't you know who this is? Hey, I know he cut off two cars because his view was obstructed, all right? No, man.
This is Pufnstuf.
Don't you ever? I forgot.
He doesn't have a Tv set.
What? No TV? And you're gonna write me a ticket? Okay, okay.
I'm not gonna write you a citation.
I'm gonna give a warning, tag your car and you can walk back to the television station.
- Oh, thank you, officer.
I will.
Okay, let's clean it up.
Nice and easy.
Let's make it look legit.
Thanks a lot, officers.
Bye-bye.
You know I thought Stufnmuf was a - It's Pufnstuf.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I thought he was just for kids.
Well, I guess I'm just a big overgrown kid, partner.
I'm hearing you.
Okay, Jake.
Nice and slow.
Hey, Ponch.
Caltrans landscapers.
Let's check out my I mean, Getraer's theory.
Put your foot on it, Jake.
Hey, Ponch.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of 487 suspects in Caltrans truck.
Southbound Hollywood and Sunset.
Possible Green Thumb Burglars.
Mary 3, 10-4.
Attention, all units.
in pursuit of possible 487 suspects southbound Hollywood freeway at Sunset.
Vehicle is a Caltrans truck.
These are possibly the Green Thumb Burglars.
We just picked up another Chippie.
Hit the lift, Jake.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Go, just go.
Come on, Jake, get us out of here.
Move, move.
- Punch it, man.
- I'm punching, I'm punching.
I'm trying.
Ignore him, Bob.
Oh, man, you're blowing it, man.
- Head for that exit there.
- I'm trying.
Let's get out of this thing, man! I'm trying.
They got us pinned in here, you know it? Okay, get out.
Get your hands over your head.
Kneel down.
Cross your legs.
Put your right hand down behind your back.
Come on.
Since this is my bust, I'll take over now.
What makes you think it's your bust? Well Who takes care of all the plants at Central? Oh, you do, sarge.
Who worries to make sure they get their vitamins, huh? Well, I guess you do, sarge.
You got it.
Hey, you're early.
I thought I'd get the evening off to an early start and thank you for lending me your car.
- No sweat.
- I've seen enough drive-ins for one day.
So I decided I'm gonna take Georgia to someplace special.
Like dinner, and then maybe we'll boogie at a disco.
Hey, I see you got a dinner date too, huh? I wanted to talk to you about that, Ponch.
See, what happened is It's not really a "date" date, see? - In case somebody is falling by, then I'Il - Hey, you need some candles, partner.
And those glasses are tired.
- What do you mean? - Where are the candles? I'm trying to tell you, I don't need any candles, all right? I mean Hey, come on.
How are you gonna romance a lady without candlelight, huh? I have to teach you.
Don't you understand what I'm trying to say? I don't have a formal date.
You got that right.
Without candlelight, you don't.
She really got to you, didn't she? Who? Madame Butterball.
What do you mean? You know, danger of fire, and Well, I hate to tell you this, Ponch but a certain person called, and when I answered the phone, I Who? Georgia? Yeah.
She got engaged to Sergeant Maloney today.
You better watch out.
Three dollars a dozen? I'll take one dozen.
For Georgia.
That's your dream date, right? Right on.
Three bones exactly.
I'll bet you tell all the girls you pay $ 15 a dozen.
Hey, partner.
For Georgia, I'd pay 17.
50 plus tax.
Fat slob! I'm gonna get you.
Pull over! L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3, we have an 11-82, Rollover, westbound San Bernardino west of Herbert and send an 11-85 and a car unit.
Hey, mister.
You chowderhead! This is my wife's car, you idiot.
- You dumb idiot.
- Listen.
- For crying out loud, you - You've done your play Hey, hey.
Hey.
Get that big slob off me.
- Let me at him.
- I'm gonna pulverize that pig.
Break it up.
- Come on.
- Okay, officer.
Okay.
I'm gonna - Now hold it, guys.
- Listen, you.
- Cool it, all right? Cool it.
- I'm not gonna forget this.
You'll never forget it.
- I'm not through with him.
- Be a nice guy.
- I'll blind you.
- Come on, let's go.
Okay, I'm going quiet.
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm great.
- You want some help? - No, I can handle this.
I just slipped.
- I'm not through with this chowderhead.
- You don't punch anybody, understand? You just got sent to the showers, old buddy.
Keep an eye on these two.
They been drinking.
I'll give a call for another tow.
- Why are you arresting me? He started it.
- Maybe, but you tried to finish it and me.
Congratulations, meathead.
You really did it this time.
Yeah, I'll cool it after I cool him.
Hey, what's seems to be the problem with you two, huh? That guy stole my parking place at work.
That was my parking place.
- Sit down right here.
- Yeah, okay, all right.
Hey, thanks a lot for the helping hand, okay? - Thank the Green Thumb Burglars.
- The who? Treenappers, landscape thieves.
We're replanting a whole stand of saplings that they ripped off.
You gotta be kidding.
- What are they gonna do with them? - Guess they sell them.
Well, back to work.
- See you.
- Later.
- Thanks again.
- So long.
You believe that, Jon? A 211 on shrubs.
Yeah, well, I guess people will steal anything, anymore.
"211 on shrubs" wasn't that funny.
It's not that.
It's just that, if cleanliness were next to godliness you'd be a long ways from heaven.
Three-seventy-five again? Man, if I was your cleaner, I could retire, you know it? I'm glad I'm going home.
Give me a chance to put Georgia's roses in water.
You sure have Georgia on your mind.
Oh, Jon, now, that's clever.
What can I say? Hey, that's a four-way stop sign.
You ladies mind stepping out of the car? - Hey, you're twins.
- Synonymous.
Yeah, and you look alike too.
Hey, Jon.
Ponch.
The ladies mind stepping to the rear of the car? - Step to the rear, please.
- Sure.
Come back here, thank you.
We'll be with you in just a minute.
- They saw the switch.
- They didn't see us switch.
I sure can't afford a ticket.
I don't wanna lose my driver's license.
Heavens, whatever happened to your uniform? - May I see your driver's? - Isn't he a mess, Paulette? Cute, though.
Just like a mud pie.
Thanks.
May I see your driver's license, please? Why me? She was driving.
Sorry, ma'am.
We saw the switch and we're not buying today.
Don't you recognize us? We're the Tidwell twins.
I mean, we're famous.
Everybody knows the Tidwell twins.
We give psychic readings.
- Psychics? - Yeah.
If you're psychics, maybe you can figure out why I need your license.
Ladies, please.
Give him your license so we can write you a citation for running that stop sign.
Are you trying to say that I was driving? - No, I'm telling you that you - You're wrong, officer.
My sister doesn't know how to drive.
Well, ma'am, I have to agree with you.
You are a very fresh young man.
What's your name? Punjello.
I won't forget that.
Yes, ma'am.
And in the future, I'd advise you both to watch your stop signs.
Well, giving advice is my business too.
And what I see in the future is giving me great enjoyment.
Oh, don't, Lottie, don't.
Don't you wanna know what I see in your future? Go on, lady, take your best shot.
Today's been nothing but a bummer.
Well, your bummer has just begun.
I caution you first, to beware of sharp objects.
I always make it a point to.
Very funny.
But you won't be so glib very soon.
Second, I see conflict with an authority figure.
Third, you will be in danger from fire.
And fourth: You're going to experience a devastating romantic setback.
Sign right there, please.
And how much do I owe you for the reading? The pleasure of this one's all mine.
Drive carefully, ladies.
I told you we wouldn't get away with it.
Yeah, don't forget your ticket.
Don't forget your ticket.
- Thank you.
Have a nice day.
- Next time Next time, we'll have to smile more.
You believe that? Yeah, well she really put the curse on you.
Oh, come on, psychics don't know anything.
Besides I have my fingers crossed.
Sweet roses.
Oh, yeah.
For you, Georgia.
Where did you get this frog? Oh, I won it at the carnival last night.
Oh, well, didn't what's-her-name? Sally, didn't she want it? Beats me.
What do you mean? Wasn't she your date? Yeah, so? Why didn't you give the frog to her? Hey, Sally didn't win it, I did.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, old buddy, you hungry? - Ready for some food? - No, thanks, Ponch.
Why don't we run down somewhere like the health? Hey, there's plenty of food here.
No offense, Ponch, but can't we just run down? I'm not hungry.
Oh, what tasty morsels we have here.
Oh, yeah.
Tuna and beans? Yeah, a feast fit for a king.
Ah, you'll love it anyway.
This stuff is real tasty.
- What happened? - I cut myself.
- Oh, a sharp object? - Now, that's stupid, Jon.
Madame Butterball couldn't predict a sunrise at dawn.
- Yeah, well, I hope you're sure.
- Hey.
Coincidence, that's all.
Oh, yeah.
Strictly coincidence, that's all.
Yeah.
Hello, little guys.
Here's papa.
Gonna give you some food and make you look real nice.
Hey, you got bugs.
You got bugs.
We're gonna have to find out where they are.
I'll bring some stuff tomorrow and see if we can fix you up.
Hey, sarge.
Talking to yourself? Or the plants? Is that Officer Punjello? The same Officer Punjello I just got a 30-minute telephone complaint about? The same impertinent, mud-spattered probationer who harasses little old ladies? Hey, sarge, it was a righteous cite.
They were running a stop sign.
Yeah, and they tried to pull the old switch number on us.
They said you were plastered with mud.
What happened? Oh, I slipped and fell while I was making a bust.
- Is that what happened, Baker? - Oh, yeah, approximately.
Yeah, well Where were you when all this was going on, huh, Baker? I was too scared to move, sarge.
That's just as I thought.
You collared them both, right? No, just one.
Caltrans workers helped with the other guy.
I also helped too, you know.
Our hero.
No, I'll take care of that.
I'll take care of that.
Hey, you didn't happen to hear about the thieves that ripped off two stands of saplings on the San Diego? Again? Why, those dirty That's the last straw.
What do you mean? Man's inhumanity to man, Baker.
You can't even plant a sapling without the poor little things getting ripped off.
You act like they were yours.
They're everybody's.
Shrubs and trees and little plants are the living, breathing essence of nature.
Fighting for their very existence in this concrete world we live in.
We didn't know you cared.
Of course you didn't.
Just be at the afternoon briefing.
Sarge, we're on patrol.
Be at the briefing.
Briefing.
- "Punjello.
" You believe that lady? - Wait, that's number two.
- What? - Yeah, Madame Butterball.
Remember, the sharp object? The authority figure and next: Come on, Getraer is no great prediction.
Dig these up.
They're worth about 50 bucks a piece.
Sam, you get these and I'll get the oleanders, okay? - Remarkable.
- Spectacular.
- Ponch.
- Hi, Georgia.
Gee, you look sensational.
- What's happening, Ponch? - Oh, the usual.
Busy keeping the streets safe for you ladies.
Sounds dangerous.
Hey, don't push me, babe.
You know how I hate to brag about myself.
- Ponch, about tonight, I - We're still on, huh? Of course, I just wondered what time you're gonna pick me up.
How's about 8:00? - Perfect.
- Okay.
Hey.
There's a sneak preview at the drive-in plus, there's a very suggestive cartoon.
Relax.
You're in good hands.
I can hardly wait.
Bye, Ponch.
Bye, Jon.
Catch you later.
Did you hear that? She can hardly wait.
I hate to remind you, Ponch.
But Madame Butterball said, "Devastating romantic setback.
" I tell you, Jon, from your perceptive point of view is Madame Butterball wrong, or is she wrong? Yeah, well I guess she's wrong.
All right.
All right.
Listen up, you guys.
Just a few changes from the morning line.
Before you go out on patrol, pick up the new hot car sheets.
And be sure and check out that dead end off of Valley Circle.
We've had reports of drag racing.
There was an accident yesterday.
All right.
All right.
Now, this is really important.
Those Green Thumb Burglars that hit the East Valley? They've moved into our area.
And they're hitting on plants, shrubs and small trees.
As soon as Caltrans gets a sector planted these vermin move in and wipe the whole thing out.
I hope I can convey to you the importance of this situation.
Sarge? - Yeah? - I wanna know something.
Stealing plants along the freeway No, Ponch.
Isn't that what they call highway robbery? All right, all right.
Laugh it up, laugh it up.
But those guys are in our sector now and it's up to us to catch them.
What kind of plants are we looking for, sarge? Now, there's a sensible question, Baker.
Their last haul included Agonis flexuosa, Elaeagnus pungens Acacia longifolia and Pyracantha Walderi.
- What is that? - That means greens and shrubs, Ponch.
And here's the kicker.
To date, these Green Thumb Burglar creeps have ripped off in excess of $60,000 worth of the taxpayers' foliage.
That's a lot of bucks.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like that.
All right, crime crushers.
Move out.
What's with the guy in the sports car? He's okay.
Help's on the way.
Come on, move it on up.
Let's go.
- Hey, Fritz.
- Hey, Ponch, Jon.
- What's happening? - Not much.
Take a look at that.
Hey, you all right? Why, what's wrong? Sure you're not hurt? Positively, all I am is a little stuck in here.
You think this will affect my insurance rates? I'm sure your insurance company will take notice of it.
After all, you are totally totaled.
The high cost of living.
You know, just last month I reported a crushed taillight.
A simple taillight, and you know what? - What? - They upped my rates.
You're right, officer.
I'm really gonna hear about this one.
Oh, boy.
Well, just relax, all right? - Give these guys a hand, maybe.
- Can I help you out? - Yeah, you can hook the chain up for us.
- Hey, hey, come on, watch it.
What are you doing? What's happening here? Be careful where you put that, will you? Come on, now.
Be careful.
- Just relax, all right? - Wait a minute.
I got a speaking engagement at the Automobile Club tonight.
Come on.
Watch out with that, will you? - Just hang in there, it's all right.
- What are you doing? Is there any air in the left tire there? - It's a good tire.
- Just hang in there.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Now, stop that, will you? Stop it.
I think I hurt myself.
You got it? The driver was okay.
- What happened? - The MG cut across in front of it.
I've got the report right here.
Hey, look, gas.
The flare.
Hey, driver! - Let's hit it.
- Right, captain.
We better set up a foam truck rendezvous.
Yeah, but let's keep her rolling.
Got to keep the flames back.
Hey, miss! Hey! Your rig is on fire! Don't! Don't stop! I can't hear you! Your rig is on fire! I said, your rig is on fire! Back there, the tail! Oh, my God! No, no, don't slow down! Keep moving! But I'll blow up! The wind is blowing the flames back! Stay at 55! Hey! Hey, we need a foam truck! Take it off the vineland exit and we'll rendezvous at the vacant parking lot! Okay.
L.
A.
Engine 36.
Come on, Jon.
We'll leapfrog ahead and clear the traffic.
Just keep going! Hold it.
How am I doing? You're doing fine! Easy! Easy, now! Slow it down! That's right, easy, easy.
Slow down.
Easy.
Get out.
Right here is fine.
Both two inch and a half.
It's all right, come on.
Everything's gonna be all right.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
Look at this.
- I did it.
I did it.
- Did what? I beat her.
I beat Madame Butterball.
I cut my finger.
Getraer jumped all over me, but the fire didn't get me.
She didn't say the fire was gonna get you.
She just said there was danger of fire.
Oh, come on, Jon.
Admit it.
Madame Butterball finally blew her cool.
Why are you getting so excited? I thought you didn't believe in psychics? I don't.
Yeah? Where's your bike? Right here.
What took you so long? The Chippies are getting thick around here.
We gotta be careful.
Yeah, okay.
I'll give you 500 for it.
You're kidding.
Six hundred.
Five-fifty tops.
I gotta watch my overhead.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, Ponch.
I've been thinking about those Green Thumb Burglars.
Yeah, well, what about them? How do you know if a guy's putting a plant in the ground or taking it out? You tap him on the shoulder and you ask.
Oh, funny.
No, seriously.
I mean, you know those plant planters that we see every day? Maybe they are the plantnappers.
- Will you run that by me again? - Yeah.
Maybe these guys are dressing up like Caltrans landscapers.
They got the truck, the whole bit.
That's a good theory, Jon.
You finished? I'd like to water my plants.
- Yeah, I'm all through.
- Yeah.
- Hey, sarge.
- Yup? Listen to this idea.
How can you tell if a dude's putting a plant in the ground or taking it out? - What, Frank? - Well, what I mean is maybe those freeway plants are being boosted from right under our noses all day long.
- All right.
- You know? Guys dressed like Caltrans workers? That's a good theory, Frank.
That's a great theory.
Thanks, old buddy.
Hey, what? Hey, I didn't tell him I thought of it.
Central units, this is S4.
I've come up with a possible M.
O.
On the Green Thumb Burglar.
Check all Caltrans workers involved in landscaping detail.
Check personal identification as well as vehicle registration.
Check all landscape contractors as well.
This is a priority call.
I want immediate action out there.
These crimes could be going on right under our very noses.
Four lane, southbound, Golden State Freeway.
- We're gonna get them.
- Yeah, I know we're gonna get them.
But I was just standing here thinking.
It's amazing how many people in central are just so ingenious.
That's a no-no, sarge.
- What? - Stealing someone else's brainchild.
That's right, and as a matter of fact I think I'll book both of you on grand theft of theory.
Both? Bye.
Oh, hi, Jon.
- Oh, hi, Georgia.
How's it going? - Fantastic.
- Yeah.
- Where's Ponch? - He'll be back in a minute.
- Can't wait.
I've got all these reports to file.
- Plus, I'm on the phone.
- Wait a minute.
Nothing's wrong, is there? I mean, something devastating? Oh, no.
Everything's super fantastic.
Tell Ponch I'll talk to him.
Okay.
Sorry to hold you up, guys.
I've got to check your IDs.
Thanks.
Hey, thanks.
It's the sergeant's idea.
I almost forgot to tell you.
Georgia back at Central wanted to talk to you.
Yeah, what about? I don't know.
But she sure was turned on about something.
Hey, she's been turned on ever since I asked her out.
Yeah, yeah, I know, but she said she'll talk to you later.
She probably wanted to ask what to wear on our date tonight.
- Ladies are always trying to please me.
- Yeah, that's probably it.
Hey, Jon, how's your vision? - Your vision.
- It's 20/20.
Why? Take a look across the street, tell me what you see.
- Call it in.
- What is it? If I knew, I'd call it in.
Let's check it out.
Hi.
Officer, I can explain this.
You see, I was late for this photo session Mind stepping out of the car, please? L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 4, give me a 10-28 on a 8-4-9-Sam-Zebra-Yellow.
Okay, guys, let's hustle it up.
I am really sorry, officers.
But my PR man scheduled me for a photo session.
And my driver didn't show up.
I apologize for the inconvenience, but Come on, Jon.
Don't you know who this is? Hey, I know he cut off two cars because his view was obstructed, all right? No, man.
This is Pufnstuf.
Don't you ever? I forgot.
He doesn't have a Tv set.
What? No TV? And you're gonna write me a ticket? Okay, okay.
I'm not gonna write you a citation.
I'm gonna give a warning, tag your car and you can walk back to the television station.
- Oh, thank you, officer.
I will.
Okay, let's clean it up.
Nice and easy.
Let's make it look legit.
Thanks a lot, officers.
Bye-bye.
You know I thought Stufnmuf was a - It's Pufnstuf.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I thought he was just for kids.
Well, I guess I'm just a big overgrown kid, partner.
I'm hearing you.
Okay, Jake.
Nice and slow.
Hey, Ponch.
Caltrans landscapers.
Let's check out my I mean, Getraer's theory.
Put your foot on it, Jake.
Hey, Ponch.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of 487 suspects in Caltrans truck.
Southbound Hollywood and Sunset.
Possible Green Thumb Burglars.
Mary 3, 10-4.
Attention, all units.
in pursuit of possible 487 suspects southbound Hollywood freeway at Sunset.
Vehicle is a Caltrans truck.
These are possibly the Green Thumb Burglars.
We just picked up another Chippie.
Hit the lift, Jake.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Go, just go.
Come on, Jake, get us out of here.
Move, move.
- Punch it, man.
- I'm punching, I'm punching.
I'm trying.
Ignore him, Bob.
Oh, man, you're blowing it, man.
- Head for that exit there.
- I'm trying.
Let's get out of this thing, man! I'm trying.
They got us pinned in here, you know it? Okay, get out.
Get your hands over your head.
Kneel down.
Cross your legs.
Put your right hand down behind your back.
Come on.
Since this is my bust, I'll take over now.
What makes you think it's your bust? Well Who takes care of all the plants at Central? Oh, you do, sarge.
Who worries to make sure they get their vitamins, huh? Well, I guess you do, sarge.
You got it.
Hey, you're early.
I thought I'd get the evening off to an early start and thank you for lending me your car.
- No sweat.
- I've seen enough drive-ins for one day.
So I decided I'm gonna take Georgia to someplace special.
Like dinner, and then maybe we'll boogie at a disco.
Hey, I see you got a dinner date too, huh? I wanted to talk to you about that, Ponch.
See, what happened is It's not really a "date" date, see? - In case somebody is falling by, then I'Il - Hey, you need some candles, partner.
And those glasses are tired.
- What do you mean? - Where are the candles? I'm trying to tell you, I don't need any candles, all right? I mean Hey, come on.
How are you gonna romance a lady without candlelight, huh? I have to teach you.
Don't you understand what I'm trying to say? I don't have a formal date.
You got that right.
Without candlelight, you don't.
She really got to you, didn't she? Who? Madame Butterball.
What do you mean? You know, danger of fire, and Well, I hate to tell you this, Ponch but a certain person called, and when I answered the phone, I Who? Georgia? Yeah.
She got engaged to Sergeant Maloney today.