Chuck s01e08 Episode Script

Who are you? I'm a poisoner by trade.
Specifically speaking, I'm your poisoner.
Do you know where the codes are? No.
I told you.
Okay.
We're gonna try that again.
Do you know where the codes are? Yes.
How did you make me do that? My poison starts as a truth serum.
Your assignment is simple, Mr.
Whitney.
Just get me my codes.
You have approximately three hours, give or take, before you die.
As soon as I have my codes I'll give you the antidote.
- Ready? - We're in over our heads.
- It's time.
- It's not dangerous? - I'm an inch away.
- I'm scared.
Let's go over it again.
Make sure we have our bases covered.
God, who'd have thought going out with my sister and her boyfriend would make me so freaked out? - Last night we saw a movie.
- What was my snack? - Sprinkled Milk Duds over your popcorn.
- What was I wearing? - Blue top, little buttons.
- You like that one? - I like all of them.
- What movie were we? Hey, why is this door locked? What are you doing? Aah! Wow.
Girl on top.
Miss Walker, when Herr Wienerlicious signs your paycheck I doubt he's factoring in make-out breaks with your boy toy.
I'm sorry.
I had to act fast.
Hi.
I press the button, and nothing happens.
- Is it fully charged? Because - My entire life is in this thing, okay? Names, places, dates, times, music, photos, recipes.
Wow, oh, boy, you cook too? What if I lose everything? You know, I can't start from scratch.
I can't be the person I was before this thing came along.
I'm freaking out.
Listen to me, uh? - Lou.
- Lou? Really, Lou? I wouldn't put This is kind of my world, you know? This is what I do, and I do it pretty good.
So trust me.
Okay, go.
I know I'm totally spazzing out.
I'm sorry.
It's just a little overwhelming to even consider No, no, no, don't go there.
Come back.
Go to a happy place.
Is there something you think about that quiets the voices that are in your head? Um Turkey, Muenster cheese egg bread, grilled.
- Was that a sandwich? - Yeah, they're my passion.
It sounds pretty delicious.
I own a deli in the mall.
I often think about meats and cheeses.
Ah, yes.
Who doesn't? Look, I, uh I promise you that if you come back tomorrow your phone will be all fixed up and good to go.
- Really? - Yeah.
Thank you so much.
It's been nice talking with you, Chuck.
Yeah, you too, Lou.
That rhymed.
I didn't actually mean for that to rhyme.
- I'm sorry.
Okay.
- Okay.
Mind cheater.
Saw you.
Saw me what? Saw you what? Are you kidding me? Mind cheating with the broken-phone girl.
And why wouldn't you? Her hair looked so much like licorice.
I wanna chew on it till I make myself sick.
But you, well, gee whiz, Chuck, you already have hair to chew on.
What? What the hell are you talking about? Name Sarah ring a? Hot blonde with two big bells? Just because you didn't do anything with licorice hair doesn't mean you didn't want to.
Think about that.
Mind cheater.
Don't.
- Saw you.
- Get out.
Your assignment is simple, Mr.
Whitney.
My codes.
Still here.
And also a crab hand-roll for the lady.
Light wasabi, but "light" light, as if you just washed your hands and only the residue of previous orders remains.
Didn't realize how old-fashioned you were, Chuck.
Because I was ordering food for my girl? I just know what she likes.
You sure do.
Thanks, sweetie.
Welcome, sweetie.
No, old-fashioned, how slow you guys are taking things.
- Devon.
- What? You guys are joined at the hip, but that's not where you're supposed to be joined.
It's like the east wing of our apartment took a vow of celibacy.
That is none of our business.
- Um, edamame? - Oh, your sleeve.
- Shoot.
- Are you ever gonna retire that sweater? - Hope not.
- It's my lucky sweater.
More like my lucky sweater.
Was wearing it the first time I met Ellie in epidemiology class.
He told me that L.
L.
Bean must've stolen the color from my eyes so it really belonged to me.
Thank you for dinner.
Well, you guys wait here, I'll get the car.
I found a space around the corner.
Hey! Hey, easy.
Sir? Can you hear me? What's your name? Can someone call an ambulance? Can you hear me, sir? Shallow respiration, thready pulse.
Chuck, Chuck.
Check for medical ID.
Help me, please.
Help me.
Just relax.
We're doing everything we can.
That's my sister.
Eleanor Fay Bartowski, saving that dude's life.
That's my sister, saving that bad dude's life.
Hey, do you think Ellie's okay? Should I call the hospital again? You've called 10 times in the past 20 minutes.
Yeah, I know, but what about sweaty nuclear guy? What if he hurts her? Come on, people saw Ellie at the ER.
She's gonna be fine.
Hey.
You spending the night? My little pep talk must've inspired you guys.
Mazel tov.
Yeah.
Uh, actually, Sarah's just hanging out till Ellie gets home.
Why? She's a doctor, Chuck.
Emergencies happen.
When somebody asks, "Is there a doctor in the house?" That's our cue.
- I'm gonna make coffee.
Want some? - Absolutely.
Listen, I know it's been a while since you've taken your, uh, bike out for a ride, you know? But it is time to oil up that rusty chain hop on that seat and start pedaling away, bro.
You never forget how to ride, okay? Lock it out.
Come on.
Nice.
Oh, hey.
There she is.
- Hi, honey.
- Ellie! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You're okay.
Oh, my God, you're fine.
You're fine.
Why wouldn't you be fine? Why wouldn't she be fine? What happened? We tried everything.
Nothing worked.
I think he was poisoned or had an allergic reaction or something.
I'm going to bed.
- Good night, guys.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Sleep tight.
Night.
I'm getting way too comfortable lying and sneaking around.
I'm starting to feel that that is my real life.
It's all to be expected.
It's an existential spy crisis.
It used to be all compartmentalized: Chuck world and spy world.
When I watched those ambulance doors close and my sister was behind them with that sweaty, nuclear-spy freak my worlds collided.
I put Ellie's life in danger.
No.
That guy was sick with or without the Intersect in your head.
Spy world or no, Ellie helped that guy because that is what she is trained to do.
Yeah, I guess so.
There's something else I have to talk to you about.
- What's that? - I'm a little worried about our cover.
I think it's time for us to make love.
That's hot coffee.
The Intersect was correct in identifying Whitney.
Subject had nuclear intel.
However, Bartowski incorrectly perceived Whitney as a threat.
- Chuck's not wrong very often.
- But he's annoying all the time.
Whitney was a programmer for a top-secret project.
Code name: Sanctuary.
When Whitney disappeared so did the Sanctuary data on the computer chip.
Wait, so whoever has the chip essentially has a skeleton key to our nuclear facilities? Precisely, Agent Walker.
In the wrong hands, this is potentially catastrophic.
Casey, bring Chuck to the morgue.
Maybe there's a clue only he can see to ascertain Whitney's cause of death.
Agent Walker, search the body for the missing codes.
Maybe there's a chance he still has them on him.
Dude.
This is weird, you're back from lunch on time.
Man, Big Mike's working me to the bone, dude.
He's got me on some extra assignment, says it's super-secret.
Don't tell me, because if you do, it's not gonna be a secret.
Wants me to help Harry Tang's wife pick out a gift for their anniversary.
Well, that's great.
I mean, he trusts you.
Dude, I don't have time for this.
I'm a very busy man-boy.
Morgan, think of it as an opportunity to learn something you'd otherwise never know about our freakish leader.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Ms.
Harry Tang? Thick Mike say you help me pick prize for Harry.
Yeah.
Hi, I'm Morgan.
Shh.
Big secret.
Poopie-Cat is the jealous type.
Keep it under your head.
Any idea what Harry wants? I buy him plasma TV.
Biggest you got.
Okay.
I'm gonna go draw up the paperwork.
Oh! Harry be so happy! Give me some sugar, sugar.
This'll be helpful to us one day, Jeffrey.
Meet me in the home-theater room tomorrow night.
Knowledge is power.
My mom used to say, "Knowledge is powder.
" You don't talk about your mom much.
She's doing a stretch up in the state pen at Chowchilla.
Thank you so much.
- Move, move.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Okay, just give me the verdict, Chuck.
I can take it.
- You sure? - Lf you're teasing me, please stop.
If you're not teasing me, don't lie to me.
Good as new-ish.
I don't believe you.
You can learn a lot about a person, uh, through their cell phone.
For example, I saw that you listed your nana first, under "A Nana.
" Heh.
Thank you.
- Hey, yeah.
- You really saved my ass, Chuck.
You love your Nana, and have the mouth of a trucker.
You're a very complicated woman.
I brought you something, for fixing it.
Thanks.
Uh - A sandwich? - It is, uh, the sandwich.
Turkey, Muenster, egg bread.
I'm even gonna call it the Chuck Bartowski.
I can't believe you're gonna name a sandwich after me.
You know, you should come by the shop sometime and taste it fresh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ahem.
Yeah.
Yes, I'd love that, Lou.
This is kind of the biggest honor - Sarah.
- Hi.
I'm Sarah.
Lou.
Lou is her name.
This is Lou.
I was fixing Lou's phone for her, Lou.
Who's that? That's Sarah.
Yeah, she said that.
Uh, who's Sarah? Sarah is, hmm What's the best way to describe? Sarah is my - Girlfriend.
- Mm-hm.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Sarah.
Uh, you should refrigerate that.
Because it'd be a shame for the Chuck to make you sick.
Yes, absolutely, I Great idea.
Uh, there's more to the Mason Whitney incident than we thought.
Let's go, Chuck.
This is just a storage room.
They just happen to store people in this room.
People who are no longer breathing and who are refrigerated.
Man up, Bartowski.
Gotta store them somewhere.
Better than stacked up on a curb like garbage, right? Eyes on the prize.
Getting any flashes? Good Lord, the man is naked.
Appears rigor mortis has set in too.
- You find anything? Nothing yet.
No codes.
Hang on a second.
What is this? I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions, Dr.
Bartowski.
Not at all.
Okay.
Now, did the deceased hand anything to you? No.
Say anything specific to you? He just asked me to help him.
Did you hide anything for him? - I beg your pardon.
- Did he transfer anything to your person? Uh, I've told you everything I know, officer.
I'm sorry if I can't be more help.
That's all right.
I think we have everything we need.
If you don't mind, I'd just like to get a quick photo for the records.
Bug.
All right.
Uh Actually, just gonna move your hair back a bit.
There's a certain protocol required for the framing.
Now, say, "Cheesecake.
" Uh, ha, cheesecake.
What is it? The guy was poisoned.
Toxic derivative of Pentothal.
Initially, the subject becomes uncontrollably truthful.
After it accumulates in the occipital lobe victim suffers from unconsciousness and eventually death.
- What's the time line on this thing? Can't say.
Could be a couple hours.
Could be minutes, depending on the concentration.
I just need you to sign this affidavit and we'll be all done.
Love the new welcome mat, Mrs.
Heditsian.
Good to see you.
Did you go biking? If I think of anything else, I will be sure to let you know.
I'm sure you will.
Have a good day, sir.
Huh.
Tiniest cop I've ever seen.
Uh-uh.
You know the rules, Walker.
Not while the green's out of the machine.
Your parents did a real number on you, didn't they? Yes, they did.
Come here.
I just wanted to make sure we're all set for tonight's mission.
Yeah.
I mean, it's been a while since I've slept with someone.
Not slept with someone, but slept with It's actually been a while since I've done either one, so Chuck, listen, I know this is kind of uncomfortable.
- It's fine.
- It's just that we have to do it.
- I mean, not do it - I got it.
- So we don't blow our cover.
- I got it, I got it.
Okay.
Lou! Hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Lou, listen.
About earlier with Sarah, I can explain.
Forget it.
You don't have to be single to fix a phone.
Maybe our signals just got crossed.
No, no, not at all.
That's kind of what I'm trying to say, they weren't crossed.
You know, Sarah and I, me and Sarah, that whole thing, it's really very It's complicated.
Well, is she your girlfriend or not? Well, yeah, sort of, kind of.
Hard to explain.
I really, really, very badly wish that I could explain.
Listen, if you're not gonna tell me the truth, I'll tell you, okay? I like you.
I like almost everything about you.
I think you're cute, you're funny.
Our vast height difference intrigues me.
- Wanna know what I don't like? - Very, very much.
I think anyone who cheats on his girlfriend is a big, fat, stupid jackass.
Exactly.
I concur.
Of course you do, which is why I like you.
Why don't we do this, okay? If your situation ever gets less complicated you just let me know, okay? Okay.
Yeah.
- Let me.
I can get that.
- I got it.
Have a great day.
Drive safe.
Meet me in the home-theater room tomorrow night.
Again.
You sure, Harry? - You've watched it 20 times.
- Again! Oh, my little pancake.
Meet me in the home-theater room tomorrow night.
Again! Oh, my little pancake.
Meet me in the home-theater room tomorrow night.
Let's watch it again.
Ellie let me in.
Wow, Chuck.
What do you think is gonna happen here tonight? Why? What do you think I think? Well, I don't know.
The candles and the music.
I mean, you do know we're just spending the night together for cover, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why would I possibly think anything else? By now I'd say I'm pretty familiar with the concept of faking it, so We've gotta take this assignment seriously.
Okay, I'll lose the music.
You can change in the bathroom.
That's okay.
What? You give me crap about lighting some candles and you come in wearing that? What, this? This is part of my cover.
It doesn't cover a thing.
What if Ellie or Awesome were to walk in? This is what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend.
I'm just being professional.
Yeah, the world's oldest profession.
Oh, right.
Well, that's real nice.
What is the matter with you tonight, anyway? Wanna watch some TV, babe? No, read a book.
Fine, I've got work to do.
You think Chuck's gonna seal the deal with Sarah tonight? Gross.
You're talking about my brother.
He's got your genes, babe.
And I ought to know, the Bartowskis are very passionate people.
Remember the last time we spent the night at your parents' house? I found them bouncing around in the Jacuzzi.
Whoa, brain stamp.
Shoe doesn't feel so great when it's on the other foot, now does it? And you know what? You know what? What's up with the porno shorts, huh? I mean, clearly, Mrs.
Heditsian likes to enjoy all the hills and valleys but really, really, they leave, like, nothing to the imagination.
Okay.
Babe, your, uh Your mood tonight is super honest.
And I think that's awesome.
And then there's that.
"Awesome.
" Everything is so freaking awesome! Let me tell you, if everything is awesome and there is no un-awesome then awesome is just mediocre.
When is the last time you did something nice for me? Bought me something for no reason, just because it's Monday? Calm down, babe.
We're starting to sound like them, aren't we? A little.
Are you okay? Is there anything you wanna talk about? What exactly are the rules with our? Like, you know, our thing? What do you mean? What I mean Hypothetically speaking, are we allowed to see other people? Well, uh, our cover is boyfriend-girlfriend so tactically that would be challenging.
Plus any prospective date would have to endure a rigorous vetting process to determine her motivation.
Wouldn't her motivation be love? Ideally, but you're a very important piece of intelligence.
You have to be handled with extreme care.
Well, that sounds very nice.
Chuck, I don't have to be a spy to piece together the clues here.
You're interested in that Lou girl, aren't you? Well Come on, babe.
Get back in bed.
I think I'm just gonna sleep on the floor.
Chuck, we can't compromise our cover.
Well, you know what? I feel compromised already.
I have known him since the day he was born, obviously.
When people would ask him what he wanted to be he would always say the same thing: "A big boy.
" - How cute is that? - Ellie, you're killing me here.
And now he is a big boy.
And I can tell that he is because he is with a big, big girl.
Sorry, guys.
Don't mean to muck up your mojo.
- Tried to stop her.
- Is she drunk? You need a haircut.
It's making funny animal shapes.
Let's go, babe.
These two need their privacy.
When you were 7, that burglar stole money from your piggy bank.
That was a lie.
It was me.
At the time, I felt it was very important for me to have a New Kids fanny pack.
Ellie, are you okay? Have you done anything out of the ordinary? Words taste like peaches.
Okay.
We're gonna go now.
Let you kids get back to doing whatever it is you're doing.
Have fun, all right? Sorry to bother you folks.
Can you spare some milk? Moo juice coming right up.
Casey, what are you doing here? Getting some crosstalk.
Why? What from? Those pajamas make you look like Dennis the Menace's father.
Ellie.
Ellie, Ellie.
Well, she was poisoned.
Hey.
Pulled the video surveillance.
A man posing as an officer exposed your sister to the poison.
Why would anyone wanna hurt Ellie? She doesn't know any nuclear codes.
She doesn't even want a microwave.
Good news.
The person who poisoned her is still looking for the intel chip.
No, no, no, there is no good news, okay? My sister was poisoned by the same stuff as the dead guy.
Medical teams are trying to identify the poisoning agent to create an antidote.
There's no time! If it's the same poison, Ellie's only got a few hours.
Look, this is easy.
We gotta find the codes.
We get the bad guy to trade us for the antidote.
We do this in our sleep.
Even if we knew where they were, that's not practical.
Can't risk the bad guy endangering millions for the one.
This is my sister we're talking about.
We can't sit around and watch her die.
Okay.
The only clue we have so far is the bug that we found on Ellie.
Soundproof box.
Don't want the bad guy knowing we're onto him.
We got a team working on reversing the tracking signal.
- What are you doing? - Found the codes.
Can't believe where Whitney hid them.
I'm gonna keep them on the lady doctor until we can move them safely.
Now the bad guy's gonna come to us.
Not bad, Bartowski.
Do that ever again, and I'll kill you.
I'm gonna fix this, Ellie.
I swear.
Look, I know that you think I'm just Chuck your screw-up little brother.
But there's a lot about me you don't know.
See, I'm I'm also Chuck, the guy with all these important government secrets in my brain.
I can make this better.
I will make this better.
Everything is so different now.
Everything is so different now.
I used to be able to come to you and ask your advice about anything.
And now my whole life is like a lie.
Went downstairs to get Ellie's sweater from her locker.
Her lucky sweater.
She could use it.
Thanks, Devon.
Freeze! Okay.
I've got what you want: The antidote to save your doctor friend.
Give it to her, she might live.
Just trade me for the codes.
Or I can poison all of you and force you to tell me where you've hidden my codes.
And then you will die too just like the doctor.
Your choice.
I found them! I found them! The codes are on the necklace.
I found them.
The vial.
Wait, wait! Hey! Casey, wait.
What about Chuck? - Here.
- No.
No, it's for Ellie.
There's no debate, it has to be you.
You're the Intersect.
I won't take it knowing that Ellie will die without it.
You're a good person, but I got a job to do.
Take it before I shove it down your throat.
- Okay, fine, fine, I'll do it.
- Thank you.
I'll pretend to take it, then I'll run to my sister's room.
- Why did I say that out loud? - It makes you tell the truth.
I'll put a gun to your head and threaten to shoot if you don't take it.
- Would you shoot me? - No.
Don't waste the bullet.
We're already dead.
I'm saving my sister.
Hey.
Hey, sis.
There's some more.
There's some more.
You know, if I had a blog, this would be a really big day for me.
Do my laundry.
Check.
Save my sister's life.
Check.
Save my own life.
Final entry.
I am so sorry about all of this.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's not ideal, but I've lived a pretty good life.
I mean, how many guys can say they landed a helicopter and saved the lives of innocent people? Courageous and honorable members of the U.
S.
Military.
And the silver lining is now I don't have to work out my five-year plan again.
Streamlined that down to about five hours.
Bad guy's name is Riordan Payne.
Used to be an Olympic gymnast.
Now he sells hard-to-find items, like nuclear codes, to hard-to-find people.
People wanna spend cash on these codes.
- They're not gonna get the chance.
- Why not? Because this thing's gonna lead us right to him.
- I got it, I got it.
- I got it.
Well, who's better at it? - I am.
- She is.
Damn truth serum.
God, you're so pretty.
And, Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself.
- Thank you.
- Oh, yeah.
Yes? Who is it? The NSA, CIA, and me, who's a little tougher to explain.
We all have our skill set.
Freeze! My partner would rather shoot you than let you get away.
You called me your partner.
- Where are the codes, son of a bitch? - First, the antidote.
Actually, I was just about to enjoy a little antidote myself.
What kind of host would I be if I didn't offer you some as well? Careful there.
I haven't killed anyone in a little while, I'm getting a little hungry.
No, no, wait, wait, don't, don't, don't.
- What, did you have a flash? - No.
No, I've just read tons of comic books.
The villain always samples it first.
Good one, Chuck.
All right.
Very unsportsmanlike.
I like it.
The antidote's in the cabinet, bottom right shelf.
Key is in my pocket.
Codes are in my right shoe.
No, wait, wait, wait.
Not yet, not yet.
Why? What's the matter? Nothing, it's just that this will probably be the last chance that I have to know the truth.
I know you're just doing your job here.
But sometimes it feels so real, you know? So tell me you and me, us our thing under the undercover thing, is this ever going anywhere? I'm sorry, Chuck.
No.
Got it.
Got it.
Thank you for being honest.
Even though I guess you don't really have a choice in the matter.
Not bad.
We've received the codes.
Our weapon sites are more secure than ever.
Congratulations on a job well-done.
Trying to have sex with my wife.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
Okay, Morgan Grimes.
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Major Casey, who's infiltrated the home-theater room? I see nothing out of the ordinary here.
Carry on, Bartowski.
Stay right where you are.
Wait, wait, wait.
What are you gonna do with him? We'll take care of it.
You're good, Tang.
Very good.
- I am? - Of course you are.
I know you've been onto us for a while now.
But you nailed us this time.
- I did? - Of course you did.
You've always known that Sarah and I worked undercover for the government.
I knew it.
I knew Bartowski couldn't bag anyone as hot as blondie.
Never mind Bartowski.
He's small potatoes.
Just a pawn we used to lure you here.
- I'm the big potato? - You're the big potato.
We're requesting you relocate to Oahu.
Await further instructions on how to aid your country from there.
- I'm gonna be a spy? - No.
That would give a name to it.
Wow.
Leave the Buy More.
I never thought this day would come.
Don't know what it is about this place, but it gets under your skin.
Yeah.
Proud to serve my country in any way I can, sir.
Hey, Big Mike, you wanted to see me.
Thanks for your help with Harry Tang's wife.
Did me a huge favor.
Yeah, just doing my job there, sir.
- Oh, and Grimes.
- Uh-huh.
Change the address on Tang's plasma delivery.
Send it to their new place in Oahu.
- Oahu? - Heh.
Tang got himself a taste of the sweet life.
Manager of some pineapple factory.
Wait, so we're free? No more Harry Tang? - I'm not the only one glad to see him go.
- No.
I know he can be tough, but use your discretion with this information.
I got so many secrets crammed in here, fire marshal wants to shut it down.
Had no choice but to give Harry Tang the assistant-manager position.
Felt so damn guilty about diddling his wife for the past six months.
No, I will not miss the man at all.
But I will forever dream about the lady Tang.
Oh, hey.
I didn't know you were coming by.
Um Sarah, you know when you think you're gonna die and your whole life is supposed to flash in front of you? That didn't exactly happen for me yesterday.
In fact, mostly it was just a list that I saw.
A list of stuff that I haven't done and things that I haven't had a chance to say.
So today I wanna start crossing things off of my list.
And this is the first thing that I promised myself that I'd do.
We need to break up.
What? You know, like, fake break up our pretend relationship.
I just can't do this anymore, you know? The longer we go, the longer we keep trying to fool people into believing that we're a real couple the person I keep fooling the most is me.
- Yeah? - I meant to ask you when you were affected, did you say anything to compromise yourself? Uh, no.
But if I hadn't been trained to withstand Pentothal, I might have.