Columbo (1971) s01e08 Episode Script

Better than the Borgias.
Time for a little spontaneous merriment! Junior! Workers arise! Protest the sale of your company, your jobs.
Junior, please, come on! Junior, Junior, please wait.
What is that? Plastic? Yeah.
You invent it? Oh, no, I wish I had.
But, I mean, not that anybody'd cares around this square organization.
Mr.
Stanford, Mr.
Buckner is waiting.
Bye, girls! Roger, what is the matter with you? Well, what's wrong? I came right over the moment you phoned.
I was afraid you'd gone home.
I tried every place in the plant.
Roger.
What were you doing in your darkroom? Now don't you worry.
You were underexposed.
You didn't, you didn't develop those pictures? You know, I've been analyzing this stuff.
Why doesn't our plastics division ever make Get into your uncle.
He is very upset! Now, wait! What is that stuff doing here? Benson dropped it off from the house.
I'm gonna have someone take it out to his car.
But he isn't going to Pinewild until tomorrow morning! At breakfast, he told Aunt Dory So he changed his mind.
Roger, please No, no, no, wait a minute.
Have you checked to make sure that Benson packed everything he needed? I mean theroyal cravats? The gold toothbrush? That's No cigars! Oh, Benson, you are fired.
And you, Miss Bishop, you are next! Do you realize what will happen when the great D.
L.
wakes up to find no box of Fidel's finest? I was just gonna get them.
Will you stop this? Roger, he's got Quincy in there with him.
Oh, you know, I love that worried expression on your face.
Now, you just hold hold it.
Roger, stop this and get in there.
Come on, now, give me a smile.
Now, Roger.
What do you think? Smile.
Look over here and smile.
Roger, will you put that silly camera down and tell me now, what do you think? Oh, I tell you Quincy.
When I was seventeen years old, I told my aunt not to marry him.
Oh D.
L.
, your syntax is terrible.
Listen to this, I, Roger Stanford the second Roger, I have a management meeting, I'd like to wind up.
Who is going to believe this, anyway? I mean, a statement from me, approving the sale of a company that my own father started.
I mean, he'd roll over in his grave.
You know, you didn't read down the bottom there, the last paragraph.
They'll believe it all right, if you tell them that you've lost your interest in chemicals, you don't care about working here anymore, and you're going to Europe.
Oh! I've got to calm my people down around here, Roger.
I've got to get rid of this rumor, this silly fear that the sale of the company is going to endanger their jobs.
It's not.
It's not going to change anything around here.
Except at the top! Because besides being President of Stanford Chemical, you would also be the big man in the conglomerate.
Now, wouldn't you? No, no, it isn't just me, Roger.
Yeah, and what about your vice president, I mean, how long is Logan gonna last when they find out how he opposed you? He thinks the sale of this company is criminal.
Me, look, I don't matter.
I didn't inherit enough stock, but Aunt Dory did! And I tell you, you haven't persuaded her yet.
She'll go along just as soon as you do.
If she hadn't bent over backwards to spoil you and pamper you, when she took you in as a kid.
Oh, Quincy.
Isn't he amusing? He married my aunt but he couldn't marry her stock, what's the matter? Why can't you get her to give you control? It's almost six o'clock, Mr.
Buckner.
The roads will be wet and we've got a long drive.
Yes, let's get on with it, Quin.
I thought there'd be something else.
Yes, there is.
Roger, I've been very patient with you down through these past several years.
All the trouble you've caused here in this company.
Not to mention the half a million dollars you cost us by fooling around in something you called research.
That was kind of you.
But enough is enough.
Quincy.
Item: I found the place where you gamble in Vegas.
This is a letter from a handwriting expert that'll swear you forged your aunt's signature.
Oh D.
L.
, now this, it's really beneath you.
Go on, Quin.
Item: The drug thing in college.
Item: The mess in Acapulco and this is a photostat of that car-theft report.
Oh Quincy, I tell you, you are superb.
You really are, you know, You are the best combination chauffeur and private detective in the business.
Yeah, but what is the matter? Now tell me, why can't he get something for you on Logan and get rid of all your opposition? Tell me, now, Quincy, what is he, what's wrong? Your wiretapping.
It's not working? Why can't you frame a harmless old bachelor? Yes, Valerie? Excuse me, Mr.
Buckner.
Mr.
Logan and the others are here.
Thank you.
It's all here, Roger.
Tomorrow, some of the attorneys from the conglomerate are coming up to meet with me at the cabin at Pinewild to discuss the terms of the sale.
But tonight, I want you to go see your Aunt Dory.
Tell her you don't care about working here anymore, you're quitting.
And tomorrow, you release that statement to the press.
Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll I'll have to show her all this.
You really would, wouldn't you? I would.
You know, D.
L.
? I have been well aware of what you and Quincy have been up to the last couple of months and seeing you've got my back up against the wall, You win.
Hmm? You're going to give up this easily? I just know when I'm outclassed.
I'll sign it tonight.
Anyway, I mean, who wants a chemical company? Ah, gentlemen.
- Hello, Roger! - Hello, Junior! Oh, and good night, Uncle David! Well? Don't worry.
They haven't set Quincy onto you, yet.
If only you didn't feel it necessary to play the fool so much.
What was it this time? Oh, it's nothing.
Really nothing, it's nothing at all.
Except we have decided that it is time for people to stop calling me "Junior" around here.
Roger, shall we see each other later? Why not? I've got this little job to do first, but it shouldn't take very long.
Wasting your time, Fergy, it's gonna rain.
Good night, Junior.
Oh, oh, Fergy, I am sorry, I forgot to tell you this morning, but could you look under my hood.
I think I've got a loose plug wire or something.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh, you have missed a spot here, Fergy.
My uncle will not like that.
You're crazy, Junior.
The wiring's okay.
Hose clamp needs tightening a little, that's all.
It does? How did that get loose? Oh, don't worry, Fergy.
I don't want you to miss your nickel tip.
Oh Sir? Who are you? Is that you? Your aunt said it sounded like a car down here in the drive.
I mean, you're Mr.
Stanford, aren't you? Well, obviously.
And who might you be? Oh, I'm sorry.
Columbo Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the police.
The police? You mean, that old heap out there is yours? Oh, yeah.
It needs a coat of paint, doesn't it? Anyway, Mrs.
Buckner, she asked me to get you quick.
There are no servants up there in the house.
She was afraid you were gonna go straight onto your place or something.
Why? What's wrong? Oh, nothing that we know about so far, but she's very upset.
So I suggest that you close your door and come right away.
My? Oh, no, I don't live here.
I live in a guest cottage out back, that's what she meant.
This is where the chauffeur lives.
See, I was on my way home tonight.
I thought I saw his door open.
You did? The chauffeur? You mean Mr.
Quincy? The fellow who was driving Mr.
Buckner tonight? I'd better look in here.
Couldn't you find the light? Well, of course, I did.
I mean, that's how I found out nobody was home.
Well, everything seems to be in order.
Maybe somebody's been tampering with this lock.
Lieutenant, just what are you doing here now? What has happened? Mr.
Buckner, he sort of disappeared.
He may have been attacked somewhere.
They warned him, didn't they? They threw that awful stenchbomb on our lawn yesterday.
Yes, your aunt says there's been some kind of trouble out there at Stanford Chemical.
Well, he has been threatened.
I know there have been those anonymous phone calls.
But those are from hotheads.
Hotheads? What are they hot about? He's been negotiating with the conglomerate, dickering to sell.
Now, a lot of the old retainers do not like this.
You might say there has been an excess of corporate bad feeling.
I see.
How did you feel about this, ma'am? Did you side with your husband on this? I was in the process of making up my mind, which is beside the point right now.
David is missing.
That's the only issue.
Yes, it certainly is, ma'am.
Tell me, do you know anything about his whereabouts tonight? He left the plant around seven, he was going to Pinewild.
Pine? wild.
Pinewild.
I'm not familiar with that We have a place up there.
He should have arrived hours ago.
The caretaker hasn't heard anything and I called the sheriff's mountain office.
They can't find him.
Oh, maybe they got hungry.
Maybe they stopped off somewhere for a drink.
Rog, you know that isn't so.
He told Benson he'd have supper up there.
You know how awful those roads are.
If he'd only taken the aerial tram and had the caretaker meet him at the top as I do.
It's so much safer, faster.
Well, ma'am, I checked with Highway Patrol.
And there's no report of any accidents on those roads.
There, you see? Oh Oh, Lieutenant, I think we owe you a drink.
Aunt Dory, when he was out of town last week, you didn't even notice he was gone.
Now, what made you call the police tonight of all nights? So do you want a drink? Roger, I called the Commissioner of Police.
And he said he'd send over his very best man.
Is that a fact? Well, my wife, she says I'm second best but she claims there are 80 fellas tied for first.
At any rate, I don't mind being sent out on a false alarm.
I just hope that this is one.
Because she had a right to call.
You see, she got this message.
Here, I'll show you.
Message? Yes, he called just before I got home from the opera board meeting.
That was at seven-thirty.
Oh, maybe you better operate this because I'm not sure how it All right, Lieutenant.
You can tell that he's calling from a car.
You can hear it on the recording.
There's no one answering at the moment.
This is a recording device.
Would you care to leave a message? Oh, these modern idiotic devices.
She's not home yet.
Quincy, look in the dash there, will you? Dash.
You hear that? Dash from the car? If so, your voice will be recorded, and the connection won't be broken until you hang up.
Nope.
What's the matter with Benson? You're sure your cigar case isn't in your coat pocket? You may start your message, now.
Thank you.
Yeah, just give me the box.
Thank you.
Hello? Hello darling.
It's me.
Hold on just a second.
Want me to pull over and open that for you? No, it's all right.
I got it.
Oh, look, why I'm calling, I tried to get you earlier today.
But I guess you were in one of those silly committee meetings or something, Miss Bishop couldn't get you from the office either.
But what I was calling about, I'm I'm on my way up to the cabin, now.
So, I'll see you tomorrow No, Sunday rather, Sunday afternoon or evening sometime.
But what I wanted you to know is that Roger is gonna come over to see you tonight.
He wants to talk to you about something.
So I just wanted to make sure that you'd be home and wait up for him, will you? It's well, he's made a decision about something.
It might not be exactly what you figured it would be, but to my way of thinking, it's a wise decision.
So after you talk to him, call me back at the cabin, will you? Let me know what he decided.
Bye bye for now, darling.
Gee, I'm terribly sorry about that.
Here, I've got something in my pocket.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, that's it.
He just hung up.
Yeah, sure.
Roger you're just as concerned about him as I am, aren't you? What? You seem so upset.
I'm surprised because you don't like him very much, do you? Oh, well actually, I've been growing much fonder of him lately.
Did you call him back? Yes, I tried to reach him on the car phone.
There was no answer.
Lieutenant, look, if there's anything you can do, do it.
Yeah, go out there and find him! Well I can assure you, I've started all the wheels rolling.
We're doing everything we can.
Now, this area, this Pinewild, that's out of our bailiwick.
But we we've got the Sheriff's office and the Highway Patrol on it.
And I'm gonna stay after them, don't you worry, Mrs.
Buckner.
Fine.
I mean, we're gonna find him.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Good night.
Good night.
I hope you're right, Lieutenant.
My uncle is a very important man.
Oh, I'm aware of that, sir.
Listen, by the way, what about your parents, Mr.
Stanford? Are they both alive? Oh, no, they died when I was in college.
It was a freak explosion at the plant.
Aunt Dory became my guardian and then she married David.
Were there any other children? No.
Aunt Dory is your father's sister? Yes.
And on your father's side, were there other aunts and uncles? Tell me, Lieutenant, why are you so fascinated with my family history? Oh, no, it's just that trying to get things straightened out in my mind.
In case you're wondering if anything does happen to David, his money goes to her, not me.
Oh, I wasn't thinking about that at all.
Oh, no.
Listen, by the way, I didn't wanna mention this to your aunt inside, but is it possible that Mr.
Buckner might have wanted to stop someplace without telling anybody? You know, visit somebody in private? I don't think that's any of your business, Lieutenant.
It certainly is none of mine.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, sorry.
Good night.
Good night.
Is your watch broken? Hmm? Your watch? My watch broken? No, why? Oh, it's nothing important.
It's just that inside I noticed you kept looking at it.
You know, Lieutenant, people do look at their watches.
Yes, they certainly do.
Sorry.
Good night.
Rog.
What did you want to talk to me about tonight? What did David mean? Oh, that was nothing.
Nothing at all.
I had this idea I might like to work in the legal department for a while.
David said it was fine.
I start there Monday.
Oh, life would be so simple if you two would just get along.
We're going to.
Where is he, Roger? If he'd only listened to me.
If he'd only taken the tram.
He's going to be fine.
Just fine, sweetheart.
Some view, huh, Lieutenant? All the way to the top.
It's only a 15-minute ride.
Look down there.
About a 2,000-foot drop.
Over here.
The only way to scale that rock, you have to be a mountain goat.
We had to use helicopters to build this thing.
Don't worry.
This tram is absolutely safe.
Designed to last.
Never had an accident.
Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Sure nice view, isn't it? - Yes, it is.
- That's exactly what our problem is.
See, early this morning the sheriff's found a shiny bumper.
At the base of the cliff.
Now, here we are.
It's just about a half hour or so down the road.
Down, yes.
Well, that'll be good.
What is that? Quincy the chauffeur? Yeah.
We spotted Buckner's body further down there.
You can barely see a man working his way towards it.
Now, step out here, on this ledge, you get a better view.
Right over there.
Thank you very much.
That won't be necessary.
Thank you.
Okay.
As you can see, there's no guardrail, the roads were slick last night.
Now, this stuff here looks burned.
The bodies are charred.
There's debris scattered over thousands of feet.
We're getting more climbers.
I'll keep you posted on everything we we find.
Look here.
Glass.
Yeah, scattered up and down the road, all over.
Now we found the chauffeur's cap intact.
About 200 yards clear off to one side down there.
Well, you know, sometimes a gas tank explodes.
Well, yeah.
Maybe the car skidded and smacked that rock and the gas tank blew.
Or maybe something inside the car blew.
Exactly.
And since they're just out from LA, well, I guess in a way it's sort of your jurisdiction, Lieutenant.
Or at least your problem.
The possibility of murder? But that's ridiculous.
What difference does it make? Dead is is dead, isn't it? Now this talk of the fact that it is not an accident? Well, the Lieutenant was here again today and he He said that they always have to investigate.
It's probably just routine, he he didn't want to bother me too much, I guess.
Anyway, he's he's gone looking for Roger.
Oh, did I oh, did I tell you that David had decided to put Roger in the legal department? Did he? Well, that is something of a switch.
Roger and I have become friendly.
I know he's made mistakes in the past, but, I think he's coming along very well.
And I I could never understand why David didn't like him better.
Of course, I never understood Roger too well myself.
But I I've tried to do the best I could for him, and he is a Stanford.
Somehow I always thought he might be in charge some day.
Everett you, you don't think David was murdered, do you? Oh, of course not.
Now Look, you just let me handle everything.
We're not even going to talk about business for a while yet.
I'll take care of it all.
Newspapers, arrangements I know it's a dreadful thing to say, but I'm so glad you're next in line.
I need someone I can trust.
You just leave everything to me.
And if either you or Roger have any problems with the police, you let me know.
You do get around, don't you, Lieutenant? I was just waiting for you when I came here you know, to look into the darkroom and What are you doing, Lieutenant? Looking for secret weapons? Secret weapons? No.
What is this? Kid's stuff? Oh, hey, Lieutenant! Lieutenant, I I was talking to my aunt.
And she said that you think that maybe somebody killed my uncle.
She said that there was something about the accident.
I don't know.
Oh, no, we don't know anything for sure, just yet.
Oh, no, it's just that You know, that's a wonderful darkroom.
Imagine having something like that right next to your own office! Yeah! Wonderful.
You know, my wife's kid brother, he's a nut on photography, too.
Wonderful hobby.
You know, Lieutenant.
I also work on inventions in there.
And you were very lucky that you didn't knock over a bottle of acid, or some cyanide crystals, or nitroglycerin.
Oh, don't tell me anymore.
I'll have a heart attack.
But you really know that stuff, don't you? I noticed that medal you wear around your neck, that's an honor society medal, isn't it? Oh, it's a National Science Fraternity.
I had my Ph.
D.
in chemistry before I was 21.
But that's before my M.
B.
A.
and lawyer.
You don't say You know, I knew you'd be the one that could help me.
Would you come? Now, you see, my problem with chemistry, that started way back in high school.
'Cause in my junior year, I I had to get a better grade.
So I said "the heck with this chemistry stuff," "I'll take another year of woodshop.
" You know.
You just build a bird house, and if you paint it red, you get an "A".
So that's what I did.
Because that chemistry stuff, it's just too hard.
You follow my meaning? Uh so? Oh well, you see the fellows over at our lab, they tell me that you can make all sorts of trigger devices that don't use any powder.
They're sort of like explosive fire things, maybe.
Is that true? Oh, so you think someone put a bomb in his car? Well, you know there could have been an explosion, before they went of the cliff.
Ah You see now, if that's the case, then we got a whole different kind of Lieutenant You see what I mean? Lieutenant, I I would not light that cigar now unless you wish to witness an explosion right now.
Oh yeah, right.
I'm sorry.
No, I won't light it.
Okay, and for your information, Lieutenant, there are 30 Ph.
D.
's in this plant, and over 60 qualified chemists.
Yes, there're 10 private experiment rooms just like mine back there.
And that is not even to mention the main laboratory building, right over there, where 2,000 more employees toil away like merry little gnomes.
You don't think that all of these people wanted to kill Mr.
Buckner, do you? I have no idea.
But a large corporation is like a jungle, Lieutenant, to coin a phrase.
I can't tell you how many executives there are in our ivory tower who would commit felonious assault just for the key to a private washroom.
That's not even to mention the ones who're very unhappy, because my uncle wished to sell.
Yeah, you know, like those malcontents who kept threatening him.
Well, you know, somehow, we just can't get a handle on those threats.
I mean like that stinkbomb, the boys we sent to check it out, they say nobody even saw a car in your neighborhood during that time.
Well, that is unfortunate.
However, Lieutenant, I witnessed one of those phone calls myself.
You did? Yes.
Well, never mind about that.
I'll get somebody else to check it out, okay? Yeah.
Because I have my own personal lead in this case.
You have? Do you remember that recorded telephone message on your aunt's phone? Yeah.
Well, I've been listening to that over and over again.
It's all right in there.
And I'll tell you what.
Good cigar.
This is one area that I do know.
His cigars? Yes, Benson told me that he dropped off Mr.
Buckner's suitcase here at six o'clock, but no box of cigars.
He said that you told him that you were gonna take care of that.
Yes.
Yea Yeah, I, I keep a supply right here.
Go on, Miss Bishop.
What's the matter? Well, it's just funny your asking about cigars, that's all.
You see, Mr.
Buckner had a little pocket cigar case.
Here! What? Don't touch that! But why not? The cleaning lady just gave it to me.
She said she found it underneath my desk.
It must've been in Mr.
Buckner's overcoat, that's where he always kept it, And you see, Benson put the overcoat on the suitcase and it must have fallen out, that's all.
I guess I just didn't notice it.
What's the matter, Lieutenant? Did you think someone had stolen it? Well it did seem like a kind of a coincidence.
On that telephone tape, you could just barely hear cigar case missing, no cigars in the dash.
Oh, so you thought that someone wanted him to open a box of cigars, while he was still in the car, I suppose.
Well, it was a possibility.
Lieutenant, what's this all about? I mean, why are you so interested in cigars? Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
It's just that we have to check out everything.
I know how badly you must feel at this point.
Forgive me.
Listen, by the way, Mrs.
Buckner said she tried to reach you that night.
She thought you'd be working late here in the office, but Oh, no no, you see, my mother was expecting me to work late, and I knew she'd be going to bed early, so I went to a movie.
Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, you have not answered the lady's question.
Now, will you tell her the truth? Miss Bishop, the Lieutenant is from Homicide and obviously he is under the impression that the accident was caused by an exploding cigar.
What? Well, you see, Lieutenant, Miss Bishop got the box of cigars from here.
Yeah, I saw her, and she put them over there on the suitcase.
Yeah, here, try one yourself.
Wow, I never saw cigars quite like this before.
Are all the boxes the same? Uh, listen, don't you tell Customs.
They're from Cuba.
You know, that's a dollar a pop.
Now wait just a minute.
Are you suggesting that something was wrong with one of those cigar boxes? Oh, of course not.
The Lieutenant is just simply wrong.
You see, if there was an explosive in that car, it would have to have been placed somewhere else.
No, no, I'm afraid not.
No.
You see, on the way over here, I bumped into a very nice old fella that works in one of your service stations.
His name's Ferguson.
And he cleaned that car before they left.
And he told me there was nothing else in that car except a suitcase, a coat, and a box of cigars.
And the old boy who carried everything down, he said the same thing.
All right, then.
Then, the explosive must have been in the cigar box.
Yeah, I'll grant you that, Lieutenant, yes.
And if somebody tampered with it, or switched it that would have had to have happened here, right? Okay, Miss Bishop.
Will you tell me how long did D.
L.
's suitcase sit there in the middle of this floor, with people coming and going? Oh, 20 30 minutes.
But you were here at that time, weren't you? Didn't I hear you say that you were here? Oh, no, no, no.
Now, Mr.
Stanford did not touch it.
No, I just happen to know, he left without touching it.
Oh, that's right, but I can remember Mr.
Logan, Joe Stevenson, Burnheimer Oh look, Miss Bishop, would you make a list for the Lieutenant? And put down there anything else you can remember.
Anything like stolen boxes, boxes given away oh, just anything.
What's the matter, Miss Bishop? The vice president He has a supply.
Well, the cigar orders sometimes come in together.
Mr.
Everett Logan.
Mmm, I have about four boxes left.
Did you say four, sir? Yes, that's very strange.
Nancy? What's the matter? Is something wrong? Yes, sir? Oh, here, you've been keeping tabs on these supplies.
How many boxes of cigars were there? Oh, well, I really haven't checked them much in the last two days.
But did you take some home, Mr.
Logan? No, I did not.
Oh well, they must be in here someplace.
Oh, please, don't touch the boxes if you don't mind? Oh that'll be all, Nancy.
Thank you, you can go now.
Be sure to close the door on your way out.
If you don't mind, sir, if you'll just lock this up and not touch anything, then I'll call a fingerprint crew.
Why Lieutenant? I thought you were investigating David's accident.
Just covering all bases, sir.
I mean, we haven't found anything suspicious.
He thinks there might have been a bomb in a cigar box.
What? Well, that's just a theory.
Oh, well of course, we'll cooperate in any way possible.
I'm afraid that isn't very much of a lock, and I have had several meetings here.
But well, I must warn you, Lieutenant.
Unless you find something a little bit more important than that, if one word of a murder investigation is leaked to either the press or anyone else! Oh, no, sir, no.
And that's all I need for now.
Thank you very much, much obliged.
Roger! What the devil is going on around here? Does he really think it wasn't an accident? Hop in, Lieutenant, I'll give you a lift.
Oh, thanks.
Boy, this plant of yours is really something.
You know, you can get lost here just wandering around.
I told you, Lieutenant, this plant is not mine.
It belongs to my Aunt Doris.
Hey, and you know, about Logan.
You know, he was right when he said there were a lot of people in his office.
Anybody could've taken that box.
This fellow Logan, he's quite a friend of yours, I guess.
Oh, well, I mean, he He has been nice enough to take a good deal of interest in my work lately.
Why? You mean, he sort of fired you up, like maybe? What? I found this in the wastepaper basket, in the other apartment above the garage where the chauffeur lived.
It looks like some kind of a report from Mr.
Quincy to Mr.
Buckner.
And Quincy claims that Mr.
Logan, for some funny reason, was trying to upset you over this sale thing, using you to manipulate your aunt.
Hey, let me see that.
No, I'd rather not.
It's just hearsay.
I don't want to spread these rumors around.
You know, I really don't understand this business stuff.
Of course I never could understand business.
My wife, she always makes out our taxes.
Oh, by the way, Benson mentioned that Quincy was one time a cop.
Well, I knew, or suspected rather, that he did some extracurricular work for my uncle, you know, like checking up on people.
Why? Well, I couldn't find the typewriter that this report was written on.
And Benson, he had an idea that Quincy might have had another hideaway someplace.
Something else that he uses as a base of operations.
You know anything about that? Sorry.
Oh, no, no, no, now, wait a minute.
What is the matter with me? Of course, you know, one night, I was dumb enough to get caught in a poker game with him, y'know what I mean? And quite by accident, I saw a piece of paper that was in his wallet.
And it Well, it didn't say "Quincy" on it, it said "O'Neill", yeah, that's what it said, "Harry J.
O'Neill", yeah.
You know, I can check up on that right away.
Car is right over here.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
I knew you'd be a help to me.
Bye.
Mr.
Stanford? Roger, wait! What's your problem? I nearly died out there.
All those questions! All I could think to say was that I went to the movies last night.
Now, relax, relax! D.
L.
wasn't really murdered, and you know it.
Do you know that? That's a funny thing to say.
I'm sorry.
Well, it's just that they keep investigating around here and checking into everything, like those private personnel files I let you look at, like Mr.
Logan's.
Oh, I put those back days ago! It was just curiosity.
Oh, how to succeed in business Roger I don't want anyone to find out about us.
Oh well, how could they? You took those pictures of me.
Oh, I cleaned up my desk already and the darkroom.
I got rid of everything.
I'm sorry, it's It's just the past few days I You know, you need a rest.
Yeah, I authorize it, yeah.
And don't worry about a thing.
It's all gonna be over soon.
Believe me all soon.
It'll be dark in a while.
But we'll send the climbers up again first thing in the morning.
We'll try the lower cliffs.
No piece of the cigar box, yet? No.
It's funny.
There are some things we're finding intact, others smashed, others burnt.
Well anyway, we're still trying.
Here.
I thought you might wanna see this.
A piece of the gas tank.
Yeah.
And it did explode.
The autopsy report's not much help either.
I heard.
Just burns.
Nothing on the tissue to prove any foreign inflammable.
Maybe some kind of petroleum jelly was used.
Something will turn up.
How can you be so sure? Well, it's a big corporation, kind of like a jungle, to coin a phrase.
There shouldn't be anybody in there.
Cover the front, I'll get the back.
Stop! Stop! Roger! I don't believe it! What were you doing? Nothing! Oh, I do wish you would listen to me Aunt Dory You haven't answered me! I can't! I can't.
Not with these two men here.
Would you mind leaving us alone, please? Sorry, ma'am, they told me to bring him over here, but that doesn't mean I can let him out of my sight.
Listen, I got here as fast as I could.
Where is Farrell? Oh, good evening, ma'am.
Lieutenant Columbo, I'd like an explanation of this.
He's on the way.
Look, I told her where we caught him.
He broke in, entered, tore up the place, resisted arrest They literally jumped me.
All right, we're gonna get this thing cleared up, just as fast as we can.
Don't worry about that.
Now, say, I thought you said to me that you had no idea where Quincy's hideaway was? Well, I didn't.
But then I remembered this car salesman that Quincy was friendly with, and he did.
Lieutenant, look, if I could just talk to you alone for a few minutes Excuse me, please.
What do you have, Farrell? I just brought a couple of things.
The typewriter was there, and we got quite a bit of information from his file.
Dossiers, actually.
I left Charlie there to go over them.
What I brought you is a couple of things here Dossiers? What kind of dossiers? Something about Mr.
Logan? What makes you say that? You see, this afternoon I found something in the pocket of one of David's suits.
Some sort of report about Everett Logan.
Personal information.
Very damaging.
From Quincy? May I see it? I burned it, Lieutenant.
You see, I finally realized that David was using Quincy to keep tabs on the executives.
All right, Mrs.
Buckner, would you give me a moment, please? There is quite a bit of stuff on Logan there.
Also on a couple of other executives.
Only take a look at this.
Quincy's bankbook.
New account pretty big deposit.
Yeah, nice guy, Quincy.
Looks like he's trying to put the bite on his own boss.
Look, here.
That's what I took off the kid when I caught him.
That's the only thing he tried to get out of Quincy's.
And I guess he was in quite a bit of a hurry because he forgot the negative.
Uh, Mrs.
Buckner, will you excuse us for a moment? I want to speak to Mr.
Stanford for a moment.
I think we can settle this right now.
Hey, wait a minute, that's evidence, lady! No! Don't let her see them! Aunt Dory, you give them back! Valerie Bishop and David? Look, Why do you think I went there? I knew Quincy would have something like that! Now you've let her see the very thing I never wanted her to.
It's all right, Rog, I have to see things.
I have to see everything.
But I'm the only one, do you understand, Lieutenant? I want this trash burned.
But ma'am, we can't destroy evidence.
There's no evidence if there's no murder.
And you haven't proved there was a murder.
But ma'am, if we had a little more time Will you please get out of here and leave us alone! Look, I'm sorry about what's happened here tonight Please get out! I'm truly sorry.
Oh, Rog, I liked that woman very much.
All the time, she and David I never wanted you to know about this, ever.
I mean, I've known for a couple of years about them, but Well, it's only recently that I realized that Quincy was beginning to snoop around.
You knew? Oh, yes.
I went to David, I asked him to stop.
He refused.
No wonder he turned against you.
No wonder he kept demeaning you in front of me.
Oh, Rog, dear, I've been I've been such a fool.
I've misunderstood everything so.
There, there Thank you Benson.
Five o'clock, please.
Oh! Oh, hi, Junior.
Uh excuse me, Mr.
Stanford.
Good morning, Mr.
Stanford.
Good morning, Mr.
Stanford.
What's wrong? Oh excuse me.
I just found this on the desk.
It's from the personnel manager.
Well, I I tried to reach you at the house but you'd already gone, and Your aunt wouldn't come to the phone.
You know, she hasn't answered one single call from me since the funeral? I sent her up to Pinewild for a short rest.
It was the doctor's orders.
Let me see this.
Well, that's a pink slip.
That stupid personnel department, you're not fired! Well but I don't understand.
You see, my aunt remembered how much your mother always wanted to live in the desert in Arizona, wasn't it? And she thought that you might be happier there, too.
Roger, I can't afford that.
Oh, I'll take care of that.
And listen, don't you worry.
We'll see each other a lot.
Yeah, a lot.
Yeah, a lot I'm gonna be here for quite a while.
You can come back later.
Would you tell Maintenance I'll keep the desk and the chair.
The rest of the stuff is just dreary.
Yeah, I'll have a decorator come in next week and refurnish.
And what about your office? Your old office? Oh, I don't care.
Wrap it up, give it away.
I don't particularly care.
I don't want to be disturbed, Miss Bishop.
Well, it's Mr.
Logan and Lieutenant Columbo.
Well, tell them tell them to come in.
Ah, gentlemen.
Uh I hate to interrupt like this, Mr.
Stanford.
But Miss Bishop said you were in.
So I am.
What can I do for you? Uh, quite a surprise, I mean, I went down to your old office, but they told me you moved in here.
Lieutenant, would you mind coming to the point? Oh, certainly.
By the way, Miss Bishop seems unhappy, did something go wrong? I have no idea.
Could you explain the reason for your interruption, Lieutenant? Oh, yeah.
Well, I came to get you, and Mr.
Logan here.
Of course, the a funny thing, I found him cleaning out his desk, too.
Well Whatever for, Everett? I've been fired! Fired? Oh, I find that very hard to believe, Everett.
Do you? It was your aunt's request.
She wouldn't even talk to me on the phone when I called.
Oh, obviously, it's a mistake.
Obviously, we were rather close, if you'll remember.
You wouldn't have any possible idea why she might have changed her mind about me, would you? Oh, no, no, none whatsoever.
Of course, you know, it is a family corporation.
So she has every right to do whatever she chooses.
Uh, this must've fallen over.
Lieutenant You take an inordinate length of time to come to the point.
Oh, well, I heard from the people at the Pinewild Sheriff's office.
They're gonna meet us at the bottom of the grade.
Oh, no, I'm awfully sorry.
Perhaps Mr.
Logan could go along, but, I'm afraid I'm just much too busy this morning to go for a long drive.
Oh, I see.
I just thought you'd wanna know what they found.
I mean, you are interested in any latest development, aren't you? Of course I am.
What was it? You know, they didn't say.
They just said it was very important.
Oh, it seems very peculiar if they didn't say what it was.
Sure does.
All right, Mr.
Logan, let's go.
Fine.
Doris will be up at the cabin and I wanna talk with her.
Uh just a minute, Lieutenant.
If this does concern my uncle's death, I suppose, in good conscience, I should go along.
Fine.
I've got the car outside.
Hi, Sergeant.
Lieutenant.
Is that it? Yeah.
Pretty good shape, too, considering See right up there to the left of the second dark crag? You can't see the road from here, but it's right to the left of that.
Just about a couple hundred feet from where they went over.
Well, they must've been blown apart like the cap and that other stuff.
Yeah, skidded right into a crevice.
What is it, Lieutenant? I think that we ought to get this information to your aunt in a hurry.
So, let's go on, now.
No, no, no, I.
.
I sent her up to the cabin, So she wouldn't be disturbed.
It would take us hours to get there.
No, no, we'll be there in no time.
Here, Sergeant.
Engineer's waiting for you.
Thank you very much.
This way.
Yeah, your aunt put me on this contraption.
She said it was a lot faster than driving.
A lot safer.
Hope she's right.
Well, let's look in this, huh? Yes, I'd like to know what they found.
Let's see what we have.
Uh-huh.
Why that's that's David's cigar box! I told you this would be worth coming out for, didn't I? Yeah yeah, it sure is.
You see, except for the hinges which are a little shaky, this whole thing is in one piece.
This means that David was not murdered, doesn't it, huh? Oh yes, sir.
Yes, this changes everything.
There's no question about it, yeah, uh Must've been the gas tank after all.
Ah that's that's comforting news.
I mean, for her.
Even so, I'm afraid she's not gonna be very happy to see me up there.
Why? Do you think that she blamed you for her husband's death? Well, I certainly do.
I mean, after all, I was the one that was fighting David on this sale business.
Everybody knew that.
I figured some troublemaker misunderstood and stole the box out of my office.
Fortunately, I was wrong.
I can't tell you how good that cigar box looks to me! Now, if I can just get Doris to tell me why she let me go.
Oh, I can tell you that.
You can? Yeah, I think she fired you for a couple of reasons.
Like those secret meetings that you had with the competition last year.
Like that patent that you sold to a friend very cheaply What are you talking about? Those are lies! Really? Well, Mr.
Quincy wrote'em all down in a report to Mr.
Buckner.
Well, then Quincy made it up himself.
They're simply not true.
You promised Aunt Dory never to say anything about that.
What are you trying to do? Cause more trouble? Well, it doesn't make any difference now.
I mean, everything's changed now, isn't it? Because of this! You know, and then there was that thing with Miss Bishop Lieutenant, now, that, that is private information.
Wait a minute.
What thing with Miss Bishop? Now, I am warning you! Well, you see, Miss Bishop and Mr.
Buckner, you know, for the past year or so, they That is enough! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Just I I just don't know why we ca Why we can't uh, sit here sit here and and just sit here quietly while we ride to the top of the mountain.
You know something, Roger? The truth is hard to find.
Sometimes sometimes it's right in front of you and you can't prove it.
What? Do you know? I had a whole theory worked out how you could've fixed this box here.
Well, I mean, a high I.
Q.
thing so that the explosive might not be discovered.
It might get burned up with the gasoline.
Oh, yes! I had a theory worked out how you could've done all sorts of things! Now Now, it turns out to be just an ordinary cigar box.
Yeah! Well, listen, now that Don't you think you should take it to a laboratory and have it examined? I mean, you've got all these fancy theories.
What on earth for? The theories are all wrong.
That would only prove it.
Oh, no, that would make me look foolish.
Mr.
Logan, would you care for a cigar? No, thank you.
No? And you know, the funny thing is this, Roger, this whole thing could've been a plan of yours.
Like those reports of Mr.
Quincy's.
You could've forged those on his typewriter.
And the photograph between Miss Bishop and your uncle.
Any good photographer could trick that up.
Y'know, just do some double printing, replace one figure with somebody else's.
And even Mr.
Quincy's new bank account.
That could have been opened by anybody.
Even you.
Yes, and Mr.
Logan's cigars being stolen.
You see now, there you go, you're looking at your watch again.
Would you do me a favor? Would you please keep quiet? Why? It's only a dumb theory of mine.
I mean, it only goes to prove how wrong I could've been.
You see, what I figured I figured there was two people between you and the presidency.
Mr.
Logan here and your uncle.
And now, there's just you.
Of course, you had to fire Miss Bishop.
I mean, an executive secretary, she probably knows too much.
Everett, are you just gonna sit here and let him just mumble on? Why not, Roger? It's all very interesting.
You you are more of a fool than he is! The trouble is, even if I was right What? Will you just shut up? Roger, what's bothering you? What's the matter? Shut up! Oh, my We have got to get rid of that box! Why? What for? Give me that box! Give me that box! Aaagh, give me that Where did you get that that box of cigars, Lieutenant? From your secretary.
My secretary? Hmm.
Yeah, she she had three boxes.
I hope you didn't mind.
No, I don't suppose I do in this case, but Oh, aren't those supposed to be evidence, Lieutenant Columbo? Yeah, I guess they are, it's a shame.
You