Combatants Will Be Dispatched! (2021) s01e08 Episode Script

1
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival!
Dick festival
I guess I need to say it
in front of a full audience.
I get it.
Girls your age need to blow off
some steam sometimes, right?
N-No!
You're the one who changed the prayer!
What are you talking about?
I wouldn't do something so stupid.
You're kidding me
Did he really forget?
So, what did you want?
It must be something important
to bring me all the way out here.
I called you out here because I have an
important manner to discuss with you, Six.
I'm sorry, Tillis.
I appreciate the interest, but I'm not up
for girls who are as conniving as you.
That's not what I meant!
I need to ask you to do something!
And I am not conniving!
I wanted to talk to you about
this artifact that makes it rain.
Ever since it broke, our nation
hasn't had enough water.
We've been importing Water Stones
from Toris, the kingdom next to us, but
Since the artifact is fixed,
we stopped importing so many.
But then when it was time to use it,
my father didn't want to say the prayer,
and so he vanished
You say it, then.
I'm sending Snow to Toris as a messenger
while we to search for my father.
I'd like you to escort her.
Why bother? You say it.
We reduced our imports once and now
we're asking to raise them again.
Negotiations will be difficult.
So why don't you just say it?
But Toris's crown prince is famous
for his tastes in the opposite sex.
So if we send Snow, a girl who is pretty,
even if her personality is worthless--
Listen to me!
You're freaking me out,
and that's saying something!
Let me finish.
If something bad happens,
I want you to protect Snow,
and hopefully catch him in the act.
If he tries to seduce a messenger,
that's an international incident.
I'm sure the negotiations
will go much smoother.
In my country, we call that blackmail.
If you accept, I'll give you
the information Alice wanted.
Information?
Yes.
Information on all the various ruins
throughout the continent.
There's actually an
unexamined ruin in Toris
"Episode 8:
'Corrupt, Black-Hearted Knight'"
Wow, Commander!
The scenery is just flying by!
--I am the wind!
I've become the wind!
--Hey Grimm, sit down. You'll fall off.
--I am the wind!
I've become the wind!
Hey, Six. Any interest
in selling this magic item?
I know a place that'll buy rare goods.
Look! The deadly heggs
are like purple daidai snails!
I'm going to shake them off.
I'm speeding up!
Oh, no! Grimm will be eaten!
What did I just say?
Why do you always take damage
before the fight even starts?
You're the messengers from Grace, right?
Yeah, that's right.
Welcome to Toris.
Engel, the crown prince,
has prepared a banquet for you.
Splendid! I am Snow, the Kingdom
of Grace's royal guard commander,
and Princess Tillis's personal knight.
Oh, a pleasure.
You know, I've never actually seen
your nation's Water Stones.
I've heard they're quiete beautiful.
I'd love to see one for myself.
I see.
I'll prepare a few as gifts.
If you'd be so kind as to share them
with Princess Tillis
Leave it to me!
--By the way, the vehicle we bought
can carry "a lot," not just "a few."
--Shouldn't we stop her?
--By the way, the vehicle we bought
can carry "a lot," not just "a few."
At this level of civilization,
bribery is a normal part of doing things.
Hey, Commander
What do you think about this dress?
Wow, you healed up already?
Is it sexy? Is it sexy?
You're at least a decade too old for it,
is all I can say.
Oh Great Lord Zenarith,
bring woe this man!
Give him the curse of impotence!
I missed.
You shouldn't have even tried!
What are you doing?
Let's go, everyone.
As representatives of
the Kingdom of Grace
We need to be appropriately beautiful.
Leave it to us!
Hey, Six.
What do we do this about?
--Wow! Harmel, you're so young,
but so talented!
--We picked the absolute
worst person for the job.
--Wow! Harmel, you're so young,
but so talented!
Th-Thank you by the way,
Miss Messenger.
"Miss Messenger" is so formal!
Just call me Grimm!
Um, no. Also may I ask why
you aren't wearing shoes?
Religious reasons.
I'll stab her from behind.
You tell everyone she's not
feeling well and then drag her out.
That might work for Grimm,
but what about her?
Yummy!
I've never eaten
so much yummy meat at once.
Glad to hear it.
But um, you shouldn't eat the bones
--If she doesn't call it quits soon,
--The bones are nice and crunchy, too!
--I'll mix a sleeping drug that could
knock out an elephant into the food.
--The bones are nice and crunchy, too!
Got it. That takes care of two of them,
but the real problem is
Is Prince Engel here yet?
He's the prince of a resource-rich nation,
soon to be king.
If I can become his queen,
I'll be set for life!
A prince might sound like a sweet deal,
but supposedly he's balding,
fat, and a philanderer.
Tell Snow and bring her
back down to earth.
No, let's not say a word.
We can watch Snow get her dreams
shattered when she sees him.
You really are an asshole.
Crown Prince Engel has arrived.
Prince Engel! Hello, there!
My name is Snow. I've come from Grace!
--She's not bothered in the slightest!
--I'm honored to meet you today!
What a beautiful ambassador.
Thank you for coming all this way
Beautiful? You're embarrassing me!
And you, Prince Engel,
have such a stately physique!
A broad, handsome face!
You're making me dizzy!
I underestimated her.
Me, too.
She'd fall in love with a slime or an orc,
as long as they had a lot of money.
How wonderful.
Miss Snow, I know what I look like.
You don't need to flatter me--
You're plenty attractive!
Look into my eyes!
Are these the eyes of a liar?
It's true. You don't seem to be lying.
Come on, man. Have some pride.
I think he's blind.
Thank you. I guess there are
girls like you out there, huh?
So, you came here to talk about
the Water Stones, right?
Why would you talk about that when
I'm trying to passionately seduce you?
I'm afraid I don't follow.
If I tried anything with
an ally's messenger,
it'd be an international incident!
How cowardly!
I heard you were a letch! Was that wrong?
Isn't it rude to call someone
a letch when you've just met?
She's beyond saving.
How dare you deceive me?
If you had a fiancée,
you should've said so!
I don't care if you're kind of hot! You'll
pay for toying with a maiden's heart.
Miss Grimm, please calm down.
Silence! Oh Great Lord Zenarith,
bring woe this man!
Drench him with water!
Go on. Laugh.
Laugh at this pitiful woman!
Watch me get rejected,
then mess up my curse!
Watch me in all my shame, and laugh!
Hey, Alice, can you believe it?
These guys work for me.
I think you're a good match.
"I have a bad feeling"
"Staying Home"
Are guys with looks and money that great?
Normally they'd be showing
interest in me by now, right?
You'd prefer a girl who's pretty,
sexy, and devoted, right?
If that's what you want, buy one
of Kisaragi's new X-Rated androids.
Did you just say, "pretty
girl pervert android"?
No.
I did not say "pervert."
I found this when I was walking around
the castle pretending to be "lost."
What do you think it is?
I know the answer.
They're growing something
really nasty in here.
A homunculus or a clone or something.
It looks like a cold sleep capsule.
No, it's definitely a device
for making hot girls.
Don't touch that!
You morons! Do you know
how important that is?
Who's the shrimp?
I'm Agent Six. I'm an important ambassador
from the Kingdom of Grace, or something.
Watch your mouth.
Agent Six?
Gadalkand lost to a guy like this?
"Gadalkand"?
The Demon Lord's leader that you killed.
I guess Heine was right. You're dumb.
My name is Russel. One of the
demon Elite Four, Russel of the Water!
What's wrong, Russel?
Gotcha!
I don't know what you're doing here,
but I got myself a sexy leader!
Hey, Alice, warp in some handcuffs.
On it.
Stop it, Six!
I'm not your enemy today!
Listen to me!
Let go of Heine!
Oh, you don't see your buddy?
Well done, Six.
--You earned evil points!
--You're using a woman
as hostage against a child.
I've never respected you more.
Okay, Russel, was it?
Just stand there and watch
what happens next.
Heine, you know what happens
to female leaders
--You earned evil points!
--when they get captured
by the enemy, right?
--when they get captured
by the enemy, right?
--You earned evil points!
--when they get captured
by the enemy, right?
--You earned evil points!
--S-Six, wait! This time we're really
--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.
--That tickles!
--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.
--You earned evil points!
--That tickles!
--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.
You're a fine example
of an evil combat agent.
Show me how you've mastered
the art of being a small-time scumbag.
Are you complimenting me or insulting me?
Let Heine go!
It's cowardly to take hostages!
Your side's been doing
basically the same thing, right?
Stop it!
Kiddy leaders like you say stuff like,
"Hey, can I make him my toy?" or "Aww,
I'm bored with him, so I'll break him!"
I know your type.
I don't say that stuff
often.
I said
Listen to me!
And let go of me!
You earned evil points!
Hey, baldy!
I want an explanation, and I want it now!
What's going on?
Guards! Guards!
I heard what you're up to.
You're selling Water Stones to the demons,
and you're going to form
an alliance with them!
Wh-What?
Not an alliance!
A non-aggression pact!
We know we can negotiate
with the demons now.
Of course, we won't go to war with you.
Wait, Prince Engel.
You know why the demons
waged war on humanity, right?
Of course I do.
The gigantic demon beast that turns
the land to desert, the Sand King,
has invaded their lands.
And they have no choice.
That's right!
As long as the Sand King is there,
eventually their land
will be uninhabitable!
They're just pretending to want peace!
And more than that, if you're selling out
when the rest of humanity is
coming together to fight them
The other countries
might think you're a traitor!
She's started to threaten him!
No, if you're willing to call
off the war, we are, too.
You liar!
I won't forget the sacrifices
of the men who died,
and I especially won't forget
what you did to my sword!
We lost Gadalkand, too,
so I don't think you can talk.
And thanks to Prince Engel,
we think we can handle the Sand King.
Supposedly, the ancient ruins
in this country contain something
that can defeat him.
Ruins? What Tillis was talking about
Got it?
If the Sand King's gone,
there's no need to fight.
But you're threatening us
The Water Stones you refused to take,
we took off their hands instead.
And now you want to start
importing them again? I think not.
We demons and the Kingdom of Grace
Who is your real ally?
You'll chose us, right, Prince Angel?
I let myself get a bit out of hand
back there, but I believe you!
Why don't I show you just
how good friends we can be?
Y-You
Prince Engel, I'm, uh
well your friend, too
You're seducing him? And you call
yourself a member of the Elite Four?
You should be ashamed!
You're one to talk!
Prince Engel, I'm more attractive, right?
You'll choose me, right, Prince Engel?
Prince Engel!
--Why is this balding old guy
turning into a harem protagonist?
--Prince Engel?
--Why is this balding old guy
turning into a harem protagonist?
--Choose me!
--Why is this balding old guy
turning into a harem protagonist?
--No, choose me!
--Isn't that supposed to happen to me?
--No, choose me!
You're just a lowly combat agent.
Don't get cocky!
Let go of him!
No, I appreciate the thought,
but I don't think diplomatic matters
should be decided this way.
Prince Engel, what's happened to you?
You're not like the rumors I heard at all!
Before now, you couldn't
take your eyes off my tits!
What changed?
I'm not sure myself,
but right before this party began,
I felt myself be reborn!
How could I have let myself comport
in such a matter before this?
Prince Engel, I may have
a terrible personality,
but I'm confident in my face and body!
Prince Engel, I'm actually
a really supportive girlfriend!
I think you'd be better off
with a human, not a demon!
Prince Engel, I'd be much better
You're such silly girls.
I'm telling you I'm not interested,
and you don't listen.
He's starting to talk like
a libido-less protagonist.
Even when I heard Astaroth was
in the bath and went to peek,
and then I saw Tiger Man naked instead
even when the combat agents who joined
years after me got promoted ahead of me
And even when the hero kicked my ass,
I didn't feel this defeated.
What's wrong, Six? You look like
you've made some big decision.
You're not about to do
something stupid again, right?
Sorry, Alice.
I'm about to go crazy.
Will you watch over me?
Sometimes, a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
I don't understand, but I'm your partner.
And your co-worker
at an evil organization.
No matter what you do, I'm with you
to the end. So don't worry.
Thank you, Alice.
You know, I never liked you
from the start!
The way you expose those melons
hanging off your chest to seduce men!
I'm not exposing anything
or seducing anybody!
What?
--What about you?
--Engel, right?
Can I do a party trick to get
this party back on track?
A trick, you say?
Go ahead.
Okay. Stay put.
Hey, Six. You're not
Here I go, mister.
This is, perhaps, my country's
most famous trick.
The topknot!
You earned evil points!
The actions of your ambassadors
have gone beyond the pale.
The Kingdom of Toris hereby declares war
on the Kingdom of Grace.
We will also be stopping
all exports and initiating all manner
of economic sanctions.
If you would apologize,
hand over your two ambassadors.
If you fail to do this
we will resort to force,
and get our revenge in blood.
I certainly didn't expect
such talented ambassadors
to bring back a declaration of war.
Well, can't change the past!
Let's focus on the future!
You idiot!
You know, I'm amazed
we made it back alive.
Why did you something so stupid?
What do you mean "stupid"?
That's a traditional
party gag in my country.
If that's true,
your country is screwed up!
Well, you've certainly
made a mess of things.
Snow, I'm removing you from the position
of commander of the knights.
I just got it back and now
I'm demoted again!
It takes time to prepare for war, so they
won't be able to attack immediately.
But how do we get the water?
You know, the artifact
that makes it rain is fixed!
Since we can't find the king,
you'll have to do it yourself!
I have the perfect idea.
You know about the mysterious water nut,
which only grows in
the middle of the Tezan desert,
inside the Sand King's territory, yes?
Yes, I'm told you can get a huge amount
of water from a single nut
You don't mean
Go get it.
No! No! No!
Going inside the Sand King's
territory is suicide!
Don't worry. The Sand King
is only active in the day.
We just go in at night and grab it,
and we're done.
I'll make them pay
I'll make them pay
Harmel and his fiancée
Gilbert and his wife
I'll make every man in that country pay.
Hey, Grimm, I've been wondering
about something
If it's a stupid question, I'll curse you.
Yeah, it's about that curse.
That thing I dodged--
what happened to it?
Well, it would've kept going until it ran
into another life form and activated
The curse of impotence
that flew out of the room
The lecher prince that suddenly
lost interest in women
Hey, Commander, wouldn't it be sexy
if we had our own little secret?
Nope.
Guys, get this!
This woman did something awful!
I protected Snow's chastity!
We girls need to protect ourselves
You're too old to be a girl.
Oh Great Lord Zenarith,
bring woe this man!
Make him unable to masturbate!
Hey, don't do it!
If you do that,
I'll just use you instead!
My doll!
Knock it off, you guys.
"I went to a party at a castle!"
That's not a report!
Six is having a good time, huh?
While we're exhausted
fighting all these heroes!
Parties are dull!
"Next time: Episode 9:
'Carnivorous Female Chimera'"
That's right. The ugly people in power,
and the masses that suck up to them.
"Next time: Episode 9:
'Carnivorous Female Chimera'"
Bribery everywhere.
Disgusting backroom deals.
A stench of corruption
that assaults the nostrils
What?
It's much more fun to hang out
with your friends, right?
Sheesh
Anyway, I got the sugar recharge I needed,
so I'm off to go do some work.
Me, too!
Okay, when we beat all the heroes,
let's have a party.
Yay!