Corporate (2017) s01e08 Episode Script
Society Tomorrow
1 What's reflected in a mirror in a pitch-black room? [TENSE MUSIC.]
Once we remove it, they can no longer listen.
They can't track you.
You'll be completely unplugged from the system.
Are you sure you're ready to leave your old life behind? The system is broken, and I've always felt like an outsider looking in.
- You're special.
- I've always felt special.
You're the most special person in the universe.
I'm ready to accept how special I am.
[GROANING.]
I'm free.
- I'm fin - [DEVICE BEEPS.]
Finally free.
I can't believe you asked me to drive you to work today, just so you could watch your pseudo-intellectual TV show on your stupid oversized smart watch.
It must be feel really great for the filmmakers to know that their premium high-budget TV show is being viewed on a five-inch screen.
Can you even hear me? No.
Great.
I'm talking to myself.
"Oh, hi, me, how are you doing?" "I'm doing terribly.
" "Why?" "Because my friend thinks I'm an Uber driver.
"I'm also doing bad for reasons totally unrelated to that, but thank you for asking.
" How do I know I can trust you? You can't trust anyone, not even yourself.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[GASPS.]
Jake, you got to watch this show.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Can we talk about anything else? Like what? Do you think bin Laden's widow is dating again? I mean, I hope so.
She's a human being.
She deserves love.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
It's crazy that Hampton DeVille makes a smart watch almost identical to the one in "Society Tomorrow.
" No, Matt, organized religion is crazy.
The resurgence of neo-Nazism is crazy.
My mom is crazy.
But the fact that Hampton DeVille made an evil smart watch and you bought it? - Not crazy.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Eh, the GuardWrist is evil.
The HD StrapIn is awesome.
It acts as my personal assistant, monitors my blood pressure, involuntarily, but I know it's for my own good.
It also records how many steps I take.
See, before, I didn't know how many steps I took, but now I do, so that's good.
Wow.
Yeah, steps.
That sounds incredible.
And it has all my key card info on it, so I can beep right through at work in two seconds.
Yeah, that definitely seems much easier - than just doing this.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
I totally see why you'd be willing to share all of your personal information for such a time-saving convenience.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS ON COMPUTER.]
Are you watching "Society Tomorrow"? - Yes.
- [EXHALES EXCITEDLY.]
I was up all last night binge-watching it.
I love it.
It's the only good thing in my life.
My son is kind of not talking to me right now.
Real talk, though? I feel like Joshua's reflection in the mirror - is like a metaphor.
- Yes.
Just wait till you get to episode four.
- It turns out - Oh, no spoilers.
Oh [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Mm.
[CHUCKLES.]
I mean, I think the show's an homage to a genre that it's also reinventing.
Oh, and the music! Oh, I want to make love to that soundtrack.
Oh, I know.
Don't get too friendly with security guards.
I once made the mistake of telling a security guard to have a nice day.
Next thing I knew, I was watching his improv comedy troupe.
I actually did improv in coll I know.
Small talk is dangerous.
The idea is to have a superficial nod-and-walk relationship with security.
I like Hubert.
Oh, my God, you know his name.
You're already in too deep.
What sets "Society Tomorrow" apart is not just the storytelling, but also the cinematography.
Oh, the cinematography is incredible.
I love cinnamon-tography.
All right, guys, enough chitchat.
- Time to get to work.
- Thank God.
Now, there's a chance we may need to lay off 10,000 people, but first on the agenda "Society Tomorrow.
" - Yeah! Yep! - Wow! - What a show.
What a show.
- Oh, my God.
- I am, like, full-on obsessed with that.
- Same.
Although, I certainly hope the GuardWrist doesn't make people think the HD StrapIn can control their minds.
- Right? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
Although, the HD StrapIn's targeted advertising could be considered a low-grade form of mind control.
ALL: Ooh.
I'm sorry, did you guys say something about layoffs? Um, Jake? We're on an agenda here.
Right now we're discussing the groundbreaking original streaming series "Society Tomorrow.
" Do you have any thoughts on that topic? No, I haven't watched it.
I'm not really a sci-fi fantasy binge-watch brainwashed-by-pop-culture type of person.
[GASPS.]
I am so totally jealous of you.
I wish I could go back and watch it for the first time.
That's a great idea.
Amazing thought.
- Amazing thought.
- Wow.
You should probably sit the rest of this meeting out, bud.
It's gonna be chock-full of spoilers.
Oh, it's okay.
I don't care about spoilers.
[WHISPERING.]
Hey, champ, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let the twists and turns of "Society Tomorrow" be spoiled for you.
That would just be bad management.
- But - Take the rest of the day, go watch the show, and come back here tomorrow as a team player who can be part of the national conversation.
Mm-mm.
Shh.
Does anyone else feel like Josh's reflection in the mirror was a metaphor? - Definitely.
- BOTH: Absolutely.
- And that should - [DEVICE BEEPS.]
No? Okay.
[GRUNTS.]
You know, I could remove those advertisements for ya.
- You can? - Oh, yeah.
Simple hack removes ads, allows me to install third-party non-Hampton DeVille apps.
- Like pornography? - [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
I'm sure the pornography companies would appreciate their high-budget premium porn being viewed on a five-inch screen.
But, yeah, I can access pornography.
Okay, well, yes.
Did you guys take that online quiz to find out what "Society Tomorrow" character you are? - [GASPS.]
- I got Barbara.
I got Joshua.
I got unnamed hyper-sexualized female character.
Did you guys see there was another mass shooting? 14 casualties this time.
This country has such a huge problem with Jake? Come on.
We're trying to talk about a popular TV show.
Have some respect.
You know what character Jake would get if he took the quiz? - Glen.
- Oh! [LAUGHS.]
Yes, Jake is such a Glen.
- Who's Glen? - You's Glen.
You know what? I don't care.
I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.
- Oh, no, Glen! - [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know who this Glen character is, but I am not him.
- Glen - Bye, Glen.
- Glen, come back.
- Glen, please come back.
- I love you, Glen.
- I love "Society Tomorrow.
" It's like an allegory for the modern world.
Oh, the cinematography - Is this the Glen? - I read a think piece about it, so now I know what to think about it.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
The soundtrack is so amazing.
[SIGHS.]
Don't even ask if I've seen the show.
Hell, no.
I'm not watching that futuristic nostalgia bullshit.
I am re-watching all of "Seinfeld" for the ninth time.
It doesn't make me laugh anymore, but it's comfortable, like an old sweatshirt.
[SIGHS.]
Thank God for you.
You're the only person I can talk to anymore.
Do you know I'm actually getting HR complaints about spoilers? I just got out of a meeting with a weeping 56-year-old man because someone spoiled episode four.
This show is creating a false sense of camaraderie, like when a celebrity dies.
You want to just talk about the most recent mass shooting? I would love to.
I always like when there's more than one mass shooter, because then even after they caught one, one is still at large, and people are still paralyzed with fear.
It's way more fun that way, yeah, 'cause the news cycle keeps going.
Is it just me, or does the HD StrapIn emit a tiny electrical shock every time an ad pops up? You can turn that off in settings, but they make it really hard to find, like Waldo or the clitoris or Waldo's clitoris.
[LAUGHS.]
Great joke, Baron.
But don't worry.
When I'm done, you'll be all set.
[DEVICE WHIRS, DRONES.]
Oh, damn.
Uh, had you updated this to HD OS 10.
3 yet? No.
Okay, good.
Then this is not my fault.
Um, just call tech support, and they'll do a password reset, and you'll be all good.
It feels like it's locked to my wrist.
It is.
I've uncovered the truth about the GuardWrist.
I'm going to expose you.
I don't you think you will, Barbara.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
It's locked to my arm.
I can't control! No! No! Not in my mouth! Bye-bye, Barbara.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING ON DEVICES.]
This is it.
I'm in the system now.
I'm a prisoner to the StrapIn, and there's no going back.
Bin Laden Why didn't I just think about bin Laden? Wonder what he's doing right now.
Oh, that's right, we killed him.
He's dead.
Wow, that's wild.
I wonder if Bin Laden would've liked me.
I mean, I'm an American, but maybe he would've seen through that.
It's physically locked to my wrist.
Can't we just do a password reset? How did I become Matt's chauffeur again? When did this happen? How did the power dynamic shift? What? I don't know when I first fantasized about my parents having sex.
How is that a security question? I'm sorry, sir, but there's a lot of personal information on your StrapIn home address, complete map of your human genome.
Look, I was just getting kind of annoyed by the targeted advertising, so I had a friend unharness it.
Sir, that voids the warranty.
I will no longer be able to assist you.
No, listen, you have to help me.
I don't know if you watch "Society Tomorrow," but I just got to the episode where the GuardWrist makes Barbara kill herself.
Wait! No, I haven't seen that episode yet! Fuck you, asshole.
I'm terminating this call.
Hello? Hello? I'll drive us both off the road.
I don't care.
I'm a nihilist.
They hung up on me.
[SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
In the modern world, technology is inescapable.
People spend all day at their computers.
Life today is just one big video game.
The pixels on their screens make them feel joy, sadness, other emotions I can't think of right now.
Whoa, Matt.
Whoa, you almost ran into me.
Oh, sorry.
I was just thinking about "Society Tomorrow"? God, it really gets in your head, doesn't it? Yeah.
I just got to the episode last night where the GuardWrist makes Barbara kill herself.
- Fuck! - [GROANS.]
It sounds like there was a momentary lapse in judgment, and a mistake was made.
So I think all we need is an apology.
I'm sorry I spoiled an episode for you.
[SIGHS.]
I accept your apology.
That's nice.
No! Not in my mouth! - Hey, John? - Yes.
I actually took some initiative and investigated the cause of the layoffs, and I think I found a way to save thousands of jobs.
Wow.
Jake how did you have time to do this and also watch "Society Tomorrow"? Oh, yeah, I I didn't watch it.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Jake, I specifically instructed you to watch "Society Tomorrow.
" I know.
I just thought this was more important.
Forget everything you think is important.
There is a storm coming, and when it comes, none of us will be safe, least of all you.
That's a line from episode three.
[LAUGHS.]
Dude, you got to watch.
But also, there are going to be layoffs, so that line does kind of apply to you.
Hmm.
And she was like, "No! No! Not in my mouth! Blah! Oops.
And then there was just, like, blood and guts, like, everywhere.
Grace, I need to file a formal complaint.
No! Not in my mouth! - No.
- I'm sorry, Jake.
The cinematography was just so cinematic.
I thought I could trust you! The GuardWrist is listening to us.
It knows that we're plotting against it! No, please.
You don't have to do this.
I have to get this thing off of me! Because corporations! - No! - [SCREAMING.]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS ON DEVICES.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
Glen, what happened to you? If you're gonna keep watching this show, I am not giving you a ride to work tomorrow.
And I was planning on stopping for doughnuts! And I am not Glen! Hey, do you know who you remind me of? Glen from "Society Tomorrow.
" Anyone ever tell you that? Let me make myself perfectly clear.
I am not a part of this pop-culture phenomenon.
Our relationship is supposed to be easy.
We nod at each other, and move on with our lives.
We aren't friends.
We don't know each other.
Watch your stupid show and let me live my life.
- Ow! - Are you okay? I banged my knee.
Who cares? I do.
It doesn't matter what we do.
Nothing matters! They are always going to win.
I'm a nihilist.
Don't you get that? It's not worth it, Glen.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- [GROANS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
I have to know the truth.
Is this technology secretly controlling me, or am I letting a fictional TV show make me paranoid? The only way to stop the GuardWrist is by getting to the source.
We need to find the source, so we can stop the GuardWrist.
I was searching the world for answers, when all along, the source was right under my nose.
I'm wearing an oven mitt.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Oh, hey.
Matt.
Still fighting the resistance? [CHUCKLES.]
You know it.
You want to hear something funny? My HD StrapIn is actually locked to my wrist.
[LAUGHS.]
You know, my improv group did a scene about that last night.
- You do improv? - Yes, and! [LAUGHS.]
You should come see us sometime.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, sure, Hubert.
Anyway, I'm actually having a lot of trouble getting tech support to help me out with this.
I hear the labs where they design it are somewhere in the building.
The labs Oh, they're on level B3, underground.
I'm really not authorized to give you clearance But anything for my buddy Matt.
[LAUGHS.]
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- Thanks, Hubert.
Sure.
[LAUGHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey, man, I forgot my key card at home.
I can't let you into the building without a card.
Yeah, but you know I work here.
We don't really know each other.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, fine, you can have a doughnut.
I mostly bought them out of spite, anyway.
I'm gluten-free.
If we knew each other, you'd know that.
You know who I am.
I don't have time for this.
Sir, stop! Security! Someone's breaking through.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Uncovering the truth that's what this is about.
It's me against the world.
Me against the world.
This is not the position I chose, but this is the world I live in.
I'm special, and I'm taking control back with the truth.
What are you doing down here? Uh, I was, just, uh, going for a walk.
Are you one of those guys that drinks the pee? Uh, no? [DEEP VOICE.]
Who are you? I'm Jake Levinson.
I'm a Junior Executive In Training.
Where is your identification? I left it at home with my key card and wallet.
I might have adult ADHD, but I'm too afraid to go to a doctor to get officially diagnosed, okay? I know who you are.
You're just another "Society Tomorrow" super-fan.
I am not a super-fan.
I haven't even seen one episode of that dumb show.
To confirm your identity, we're gonna have to ask you some security questions.
[SIGHS.]
The secret to great coffee is getting your beans straight from the source.
She seems nice, but she's part of the system.
Systems are bad, so she must be bad.
But I'm part of the system.
Am I bad? No, I'm good.
Should I drink it? What if it's poisoned? What does poison smell like? Does poison smell like coffee? Bin Laden.
Okay, so once we remove the StrapIn, you'll be able to reset your password.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
There you go.
Oh, God, thank you.
- Yeah, congratulations.
- [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
If you want, I can program it to make you shoot yourself in front of your family.
Bam! No! [SOBBING.]
[YELLS INDISTINCTLY.]
Why? No, no, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, that show is so over the top.
Yeah, but the cinnamon-tography.
Oh, fuck the cinematography.
In real life, there's no diabolical CEO with a plan to destroy the world, not even Christian DeVille.
Basic ineptitude and people trying their best is what leads to the daily horror humans deal with.
Well, thank you.
This is such a relief.
You're welcome.
Hey, stop by the lab anytime.
We have a lot of fun down here.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I don't talk to a lot of, uh, people, so this meant a lot to me.
Uh, okay.
I don't remember the first time I got an erection watching gymnastics, okay? How many more questions are you going to ask me? Just one, but you're going to have to tell the truth.
What's the real reason you haven't watched "Society Tomorrow"? Because I like being contrarian.
It's an easy way to get attention, okay? The reality is I do want to watch the dumb show.
The cinematography sounds incredible.
But the more people talked about it, the more annoying it got.
Also, my ex-girlfriend was super into sci-fi, and it makes me sad to think about her, even though sometimes I still watch porn with women who look a lot like her.
Wow, he cracked fast.
I've never seen a more mentally weak man.
And at first, the Glen stuff really pissed me off, but then I saw a picture of the actor, and he's so hot.
I'm gonna record some of this to use against him whenever he's being annoying.
Hmm.
We will let you go after you sing the song "Summer Nights" from "Grease," both the girl and boy parts.
[SIGHS.]
S So is the StrapIn still stuck to your wrist? No, I got it off, but then I put it back on.
I feel stupid for how paranoid I got.
I actually thought they were listening to me.
What are you doing this weekend? Probably gonna log into my ex-girlfriend's account, binge-watch "Society Tomorrow," and give up on my attempts to be a unique individual.
I decided that show is a little overrated, but it does have great cinnamon-tography.
What did you just say? It has great cinnamon-tography.
It's cinematography.
Have you been saying "cinnamon-tography" your whole life? Cinnamon-tography.
Cinematography.
- Shit.
- I'll catch up with you later.
God.
God is a kid in a candy store, and Satan Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been acknowledging you as a person.
[SIGHS.]
That's okay.
I understand what it's like to be left out of a cultural phenomenon.
I could never get into "Game of Thrones.
" The nudity felt gratuitous.
I like true-crime stuff.
Have you seen that TV show about Richard Ramirez, "The Night Stalker"? Yes, I have.
Real-life atrocities are my guilty pleasure.
Great.
Every morning we'll have a 20-to 30-second conversation - about "The Night Stalker.
" - Oh, that sounds nice.
Say, did you see last night when he shot that old woman in the face? - Yeah, I loved it.
- Yeah, you know, I did, too.
I didn't want to love it, but I did.
Listen, he's compelling.
What am I gonna say? He's incredibly compelling.
Huh, 5,000 steps.
Pretty good day.
[CHILL SYNTH MUSIC.]
I just got to the episode last night where the GuardWrist - makes Barbara kill herself.
- Fuck! - Kill herself.
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! We're set.
Let's do it once more.
I think I can do about one more of those.
[LAUGHTER.]
Fuck! Fuck!
Once we remove it, they can no longer listen.
They can't track you.
You'll be completely unplugged from the system.
Are you sure you're ready to leave your old life behind? The system is broken, and I've always felt like an outsider looking in.
- You're special.
- I've always felt special.
You're the most special person in the universe.
I'm ready to accept how special I am.
[GROANING.]
I'm free.
- I'm fin - [DEVICE BEEPS.]
Finally free.
I can't believe you asked me to drive you to work today, just so you could watch your pseudo-intellectual TV show on your stupid oversized smart watch.
It must be feel really great for the filmmakers to know that their premium high-budget TV show is being viewed on a five-inch screen.
Can you even hear me? No.
Great.
I'm talking to myself.
"Oh, hi, me, how are you doing?" "I'm doing terribly.
" "Why?" "Because my friend thinks I'm an Uber driver.
"I'm also doing bad for reasons totally unrelated to that, but thank you for asking.
" How do I know I can trust you? You can't trust anyone, not even yourself.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[GASPS.]
Jake, you got to watch this show.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Can we talk about anything else? Like what? Do you think bin Laden's widow is dating again? I mean, I hope so.
She's a human being.
She deserves love.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
It's crazy that Hampton DeVille makes a smart watch almost identical to the one in "Society Tomorrow.
" No, Matt, organized religion is crazy.
The resurgence of neo-Nazism is crazy.
My mom is crazy.
But the fact that Hampton DeVille made an evil smart watch and you bought it? - Not crazy.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Eh, the GuardWrist is evil.
The HD StrapIn is awesome.
It acts as my personal assistant, monitors my blood pressure, involuntarily, but I know it's for my own good.
It also records how many steps I take.
See, before, I didn't know how many steps I took, but now I do, so that's good.
Wow.
Yeah, steps.
That sounds incredible.
And it has all my key card info on it, so I can beep right through at work in two seconds.
Yeah, that definitely seems much easier - than just doing this.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
I totally see why you'd be willing to share all of your personal information for such a time-saving convenience.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS ON COMPUTER.]
Are you watching "Society Tomorrow"? - Yes.
- [EXHALES EXCITEDLY.]
I was up all last night binge-watching it.
I love it.
It's the only good thing in my life.
My son is kind of not talking to me right now.
Real talk, though? I feel like Joshua's reflection in the mirror - is like a metaphor.
- Yes.
Just wait till you get to episode four.
- It turns out - Oh, no spoilers.
Oh [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Mm.
[CHUCKLES.]
I mean, I think the show's an homage to a genre that it's also reinventing.
Oh, and the music! Oh, I want to make love to that soundtrack.
Oh, I know.
Don't get too friendly with security guards.
I once made the mistake of telling a security guard to have a nice day.
Next thing I knew, I was watching his improv comedy troupe.
I actually did improv in coll I know.
Small talk is dangerous.
The idea is to have a superficial nod-and-walk relationship with security.
I like Hubert.
Oh, my God, you know his name.
You're already in too deep.
What sets "Society Tomorrow" apart is not just the storytelling, but also the cinematography.
Oh, the cinematography is incredible.
I love cinnamon-tography.
All right, guys, enough chitchat.
- Time to get to work.
- Thank God.
Now, there's a chance we may need to lay off 10,000 people, but first on the agenda "Society Tomorrow.
" - Yeah! Yep! - Wow! - What a show.
What a show.
- Oh, my God.
- I am, like, full-on obsessed with that.
- Same.
Although, I certainly hope the GuardWrist doesn't make people think the HD StrapIn can control their minds.
- Right? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
Although, the HD StrapIn's targeted advertising could be considered a low-grade form of mind control.
ALL: Ooh.
I'm sorry, did you guys say something about layoffs? Um, Jake? We're on an agenda here.
Right now we're discussing the groundbreaking original streaming series "Society Tomorrow.
" Do you have any thoughts on that topic? No, I haven't watched it.
I'm not really a sci-fi fantasy binge-watch brainwashed-by-pop-culture type of person.
[GASPS.]
I am so totally jealous of you.
I wish I could go back and watch it for the first time.
That's a great idea.
Amazing thought.
- Amazing thought.
- Wow.
You should probably sit the rest of this meeting out, bud.
It's gonna be chock-full of spoilers.
Oh, it's okay.
I don't care about spoilers.
[WHISPERING.]
Hey, champ, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let the twists and turns of "Society Tomorrow" be spoiled for you.
That would just be bad management.
- But - Take the rest of the day, go watch the show, and come back here tomorrow as a team player who can be part of the national conversation.
Mm-mm.
Shh.
Does anyone else feel like Josh's reflection in the mirror was a metaphor? - Definitely.
- BOTH: Absolutely.
- And that should - [DEVICE BEEPS.]
No? Okay.
[GRUNTS.]
You know, I could remove those advertisements for ya.
- You can? - Oh, yeah.
Simple hack removes ads, allows me to install third-party non-Hampton DeVille apps.
- Like pornography? - [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
I'm sure the pornography companies would appreciate their high-budget premium porn being viewed on a five-inch screen.
But, yeah, I can access pornography.
Okay, well, yes.
Did you guys take that online quiz to find out what "Society Tomorrow" character you are? - [GASPS.]
- I got Barbara.
I got Joshua.
I got unnamed hyper-sexualized female character.
Did you guys see there was another mass shooting? 14 casualties this time.
This country has such a huge problem with Jake? Come on.
We're trying to talk about a popular TV show.
Have some respect.
You know what character Jake would get if he took the quiz? - Glen.
- Oh! [LAUGHS.]
Yes, Jake is such a Glen.
- Who's Glen? - You's Glen.
You know what? I don't care.
I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.
- Oh, no, Glen! - [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know who this Glen character is, but I am not him.
- Glen - Bye, Glen.
- Glen, come back.
- Glen, please come back.
- I love you, Glen.
- I love "Society Tomorrow.
" It's like an allegory for the modern world.
Oh, the cinematography - Is this the Glen? - I read a think piece about it, so now I know what to think about it.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
The soundtrack is so amazing.
[SIGHS.]
Don't even ask if I've seen the show.
Hell, no.
I'm not watching that futuristic nostalgia bullshit.
I am re-watching all of "Seinfeld" for the ninth time.
It doesn't make me laugh anymore, but it's comfortable, like an old sweatshirt.
[SIGHS.]
Thank God for you.
You're the only person I can talk to anymore.
Do you know I'm actually getting HR complaints about spoilers? I just got out of a meeting with a weeping 56-year-old man because someone spoiled episode four.
This show is creating a false sense of camaraderie, like when a celebrity dies.
You want to just talk about the most recent mass shooting? I would love to.
I always like when there's more than one mass shooter, because then even after they caught one, one is still at large, and people are still paralyzed with fear.
It's way more fun that way, yeah, 'cause the news cycle keeps going.
Is it just me, or does the HD StrapIn emit a tiny electrical shock every time an ad pops up? You can turn that off in settings, but they make it really hard to find, like Waldo or the clitoris or Waldo's clitoris.
[LAUGHS.]
Great joke, Baron.
But don't worry.
When I'm done, you'll be all set.
[DEVICE WHIRS, DRONES.]
Oh, damn.
Uh, had you updated this to HD OS 10.
3 yet? No.
Okay, good.
Then this is not my fault.
Um, just call tech support, and they'll do a password reset, and you'll be all good.
It feels like it's locked to my wrist.
It is.
I've uncovered the truth about the GuardWrist.
I'm going to expose you.
I don't you think you will, Barbara.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
It's locked to my arm.
I can't control! No! No! Not in my mouth! Bye-bye, Barbara.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING ON DEVICES.]
This is it.
I'm in the system now.
I'm a prisoner to the StrapIn, and there's no going back.
Bin Laden Why didn't I just think about bin Laden? Wonder what he's doing right now.
Oh, that's right, we killed him.
He's dead.
Wow, that's wild.
I wonder if Bin Laden would've liked me.
I mean, I'm an American, but maybe he would've seen through that.
It's physically locked to my wrist.
Can't we just do a password reset? How did I become Matt's chauffeur again? When did this happen? How did the power dynamic shift? What? I don't know when I first fantasized about my parents having sex.
How is that a security question? I'm sorry, sir, but there's a lot of personal information on your StrapIn home address, complete map of your human genome.
Look, I was just getting kind of annoyed by the targeted advertising, so I had a friend unharness it.
Sir, that voids the warranty.
I will no longer be able to assist you.
No, listen, you have to help me.
I don't know if you watch "Society Tomorrow," but I just got to the episode where the GuardWrist makes Barbara kill herself.
Wait! No, I haven't seen that episode yet! Fuck you, asshole.
I'm terminating this call.
Hello? Hello? I'll drive us both off the road.
I don't care.
I'm a nihilist.
They hung up on me.
[SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
In the modern world, technology is inescapable.
People spend all day at their computers.
Life today is just one big video game.
The pixels on their screens make them feel joy, sadness, other emotions I can't think of right now.
Whoa, Matt.
Whoa, you almost ran into me.
Oh, sorry.
I was just thinking about "Society Tomorrow"? God, it really gets in your head, doesn't it? Yeah.
I just got to the episode last night where the GuardWrist makes Barbara kill herself.
- Fuck! - [GROANS.]
It sounds like there was a momentary lapse in judgment, and a mistake was made.
So I think all we need is an apology.
I'm sorry I spoiled an episode for you.
[SIGHS.]
I accept your apology.
That's nice.
No! Not in my mouth! - Hey, John? - Yes.
I actually took some initiative and investigated the cause of the layoffs, and I think I found a way to save thousands of jobs.
Wow.
Jake how did you have time to do this and also watch "Society Tomorrow"? Oh, yeah, I I didn't watch it.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Jake, I specifically instructed you to watch "Society Tomorrow.
" I know.
I just thought this was more important.
Forget everything you think is important.
There is a storm coming, and when it comes, none of us will be safe, least of all you.
That's a line from episode three.
[LAUGHS.]
Dude, you got to watch.
But also, there are going to be layoffs, so that line does kind of apply to you.
Hmm.
And she was like, "No! No! Not in my mouth! Blah! Oops.
And then there was just, like, blood and guts, like, everywhere.
Grace, I need to file a formal complaint.
No! Not in my mouth! - No.
- I'm sorry, Jake.
The cinematography was just so cinematic.
I thought I could trust you! The GuardWrist is listening to us.
It knows that we're plotting against it! No, please.
You don't have to do this.
I have to get this thing off of me! Because corporations! - No! - [SCREAMING.]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS ON DEVICES.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
Glen, what happened to you? If you're gonna keep watching this show, I am not giving you a ride to work tomorrow.
And I was planning on stopping for doughnuts! And I am not Glen! Hey, do you know who you remind me of? Glen from "Society Tomorrow.
" Anyone ever tell you that? Let me make myself perfectly clear.
I am not a part of this pop-culture phenomenon.
Our relationship is supposed to be easy.
We nod at each other, and move on with our lives.
We aren't friends.
We don't know each other.
Watch your stupid show and let me live my life.
- Ow! - Are you okay? I banged my knee.
Who cares? I do.
It doesn't matter what we do.
Nothing matters! They are always going to win.
I'm a nihilist.
Don't you get that? It's not worth it, Glen.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- [GROANS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
I have to know the truth.
Is this technology secretly controlling me, or am I letting a fictional TV show make me paranoid? The only way to stop the GuardWrist is by getting to the source.
We need to find the source, so we can stop the GuardWrist.
I was searching the world for answers, when all along, the source was right under my nose.
I'm wearing an oven mitt.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Oh, hey.
Matt.
Still fighting the resistance? [CHUCKLES.]
You know it.
You want to hear something funny? My HD StrapIn is actually locked to my wrist.
[LAUGHS.]
You know, my improv group did a scene about that last night.
- You do improv? - Yes, and! [LAUGHS.]
You should come see us sometime.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, sure, Hubert.
Anyway, I'm actually having a lot of trouble getting tech support to help me out with this.
I hear the labs where they design it are somewhere in the building.
The labs Oh, they're on level B3, underground.
I'm really not authorized to give you clearance But anything for my buddy Matt.
[LAUGHS.]
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- Thanks, Hubert.
Sure.
[LAUGHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey, man, I forgot my key card at home.
I can't let you into the building without a card.
Yeah, but you know I work here.
We don't really know each other.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, fine, you can have a doughnut.
I mostly bought them out of spite, anyway.
I'm gluten-free.
If we knew each other, you'd know that.
You know who I am.
I don't have time for this.
Sir, stop! Security! Someone's breaking through.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Uncovering the truth that's what this is about.
It's me against the world.
Me against the world.
This is not the position I chose, but this is the world I live in.
I'm special, and I'm taking control back with the truth.
What are you doing down here? Uh, I was, just, uh, going for a walk.
Are you one of those guys that drinks the pee? Uh, no? [DEEP VOICE.]
Who are you? I'm Jake Levinson.
I'm a Junior Executive In Training.
Where is your identification? I left it at home with my key card and wallet.
I might have adult ADHD, but I'm too afraid to go to a doctor to get officially diagnosed, okay? I know who you are.
You're just another "Society Tomorrow" super-fan.
I am not a super-fan.
I haven't even seen one episode of that dumb show.
To confirm your identity, we're gonna have to ask you some security questions.
[SIGHS.]
The secret to great coffee is getting your beans straight from the source.
She seems nice, but she's part of the system.
Systems are bad, so she must be bad.
But I'm part of the system.
Am I bad? No, I'm good.
Should I drink it? What if it's poisoned? What does poison smell like? Does poison smell like coffee? Bin Laden.
Okay, so once we remove the StrapIn, you'll be able to reset your password.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
There you go.
Oh, God, thank you.
- Yeah, congratulations.
- [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
If you want, I can program it to make you shoot yourself in front of your family.
Bam! No! [SOBBING.]
[YELLS INDISTINCTLY.]
Why? No, no, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, that show is so over the top.
Yeah, but the cinnamon-tography.
Oh, fuck the cinematography.
In real life, there's no diabolical CEO with a plan to destroy the world, not even Christian DeVille.
Basic ineptitude and people trying their best is what leads to the daily horror humans deal with.
Well, thank you.
This is such a relief.
You're welcome.
Hey, stop by the lab anytime.
We have a lot of fun down here.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I don't talk to a lot of, uh, people, so this meant a lot to me.
Uh, okay.
I don't remember the first time I got an erection watching gymnastics, okay? How many more questions are you going to ask me? Just one, but you're going to have to tell the truth.
What's the real reason you haven't watched "Society Tomorrow"? Because I like being contrarian.
It's an easy way to get attention, okay? The reality is I do want to watch the dumb show.
The cinematography sounds incredible.
But the more people talked about it, the more annoying it got.
Also, my ex-girlfriend was super into sci-fi, and it makes me sad to think about her, even though sometimes I still watch porn with women who look a lot like her.
Wow, he cracked fast.
I've never seen a more mentally weak man.
And at first, the Glen stuff really pissed me off, but then I saw a picture of the actor, and he's so hot.
I'm gonna record some of this to use against him whenever he's being annoying.
Hmm.
We will let you go after you sing the song "Summer Nights" from "Grease," both the girl and boy parts.
[SIGHS.]
S So is the StrapIn still stuck to your wrist? No, I got it off, but then I put it back on.
I feel stupid for how paranoid I got.
I actually thought they were listening to me.
What are you doing this weekend? Probably gonna log into my ex-girlfriend's account, binge-watch "Society Tomorrow," and give up on my attempts to be a unique individual.
I decided that show is a little overrated, but it does have great cinnamon-tography.
What did you just say? It has great cinnamon-tography.
It's cinematography.
Have you been saying "cinnamon-tography" your whole life? Cinnamon-tography.
Cinematography.
- Shit.
- I'll catch up with you later.
God.
God is a kid in a candy store, and Satan Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been acknowledging you as a person.
[SIGHS.]
That's okay.
I understand what it's like to be left out of a cultural phenomenon.
I could never get into "Game of Thrones.
" The nudity felt gratuitous.
I like true-crime stuff.
Have you seen that TV show about Richard Ramirez, "The Night Stalker"? Yes, I have.
Real-life atrocities are my guilty pleasure.
Great.
Every morning we'll have a 20-to 30-second conversation - about "The Night Stalker.
" - Oh, that sounds nice.
Say, did you see last night when he shot that old woman in the face? - Yeah, I loved it.
- Yeah, you know, I did, too.
I didn't want to love it, but I did.
Listen, he's compelling.
What am I gonna say? He's incredibly compelling.
Huh, 5,000 steps.
Pretty good day.
[CHILL SYNTH MUSIC.]
I just got to the episode last night where the GuardWrist - makes Barbara kill herself.
- Fuck! - Kill herself.
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! We're set.
Let's do it once more.
I think I can do about one more of those.
[LAUGHTER.]
Fuck! Fuck!