Craig of the Creek (2017) s01e08 Episode Script
Escape from Family Dinner
Who's gonna help
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
[ Beep ]Craig!
Why aren't you
at the creek?!
Oh, hey. Hey, Craig.
Why aren't you
at the creek?!
I'm working
on some math homework.
I got put in
an advanced math group,
and this new math
is twice as hard.
Well, maybe
2 1/3 as hard.
If I had two
worksheets per week,
and now I get four,
then --
The point is change
is stressful,
and I'm afraid
to tell my parents!
Well, I got
some math for you.
What does water plus balloons
plus sheer terrorequal?
Can you assign a numeric value
to those words?
There's
a water-balloon fight!
♪♪
What?! But it's not
even summer yet!
Tony Mozafari showed up,
and just threw one
right in the ninja kids' faces,
and now it's on!
Hurry before you
miss all the fun!
[ Beep ]
♪♪
Craig:
Hydro-assault Craig!
Ha! Hoo! Oh, yeah!
Huh?
Craig, where are you
running off to
looking like the world's
cutest fisherman?
Uhthe creek?
Oh, sorry, baby.
You're going to have to stick
to dry land.
Tonight,
we're having a
[Slo-mo]
family dinner.
Nooo!!
Wait. We have dinner
everynight.
Well, tonight's special.
Dad's home early from work,
Bernard doesn't have
any extracurriculars,
and your little sister agreed
to eat some vegetables.
We can finally have a nice night
together where we can all talk.
Sorry to rain on your parade,
my guy, [chuckles]
but do you know what's better
than a parade?
Steaks, Craig.
Steaks.
♪♪
I've got to
get out of this.
Don't worry. I'll be there soon,
or skulls trying. Fire emoji.
♪♪
Nicole and Duane: We're gonna
grill some stea-aks ♪
We're gonna grill
some stea-aks ♪
Cows, your butts
are ba-aked ♪
Or grilled.[ Both laugh ]
Corner to corner, edge to edge,
this is how we make our beds.
Scanning
for escape routes.
Boop, boop, boop, wrrr.
♪♪
Boop, boop, wrrr.
Hey, honey.
How's one of my
three reasons for living?
Schoom, wrrr.
Is everything
all right?
Everything's fine
I guess.
What's the matter,
sweetie?
Well, I've decided
to become a vegetarian.
Really?
When did this happen?
Well, the other day,
I was thinking
that animals are
living beings.
They deserve to be free to fly
and swim and get an education.
You know, I can't say
I didn't see this coming.
You've always been
a very empathic child.
I remember one time
when you were 2 years old --
Yeah, anyway,
I don't want to mess up dinner,
so I'm just going to grab
a snack and go to the creek.
Craig,
that's a chicken leg.
Oh, but chickens
don't need legs to fly.
Uh-huh. Why don't you
put that back, nature boy?
Ugh, Craig, are you trying
to skip out on dinner?
Enemy detected.
Wrrr.
♪♪
These moments with Mom
and Dad are precious.
You should
cherish them.
Activating
destroy mode.
I do cherish
Mom and Dad!
Ohh. What an aggressively
sweet thing to say.
Ugh. Anyway, Mom, can Alexis
come over for dinner?
I'm sorry, but we only bought
enough steaks
for the five of us.
Right.Target neutralized.
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
♪♪
Ah! Wait for me.
I'll find a way
to speed up dinner.
Greater than, underscore,
less than, sweat emoji.
Wrrr.
♪♪
Fast mode engaged!
♪♪
Table is all set, so let's start
eating that steak!
I'll have mine extra rare,
as in right now.
It's completely wrong,
Craig!
It's supposed to be
like this.
Corners to corners,
edge to edge.
This is what you did.
See how terrible
that is?
Craig, let your
sister do her job.
Why don't you tell me how
that new math group is going?
It's, uh[ Cellphone buzzing ]
I got to use
the little man's room!
Hmm.
JP: Kids aren't just using
water balloons!
They're using
water guns, too!
So, we're using
water swords!
Aah!
I'll be there soon!
Duane:
Everything's ready!
I figured out how
to turn on the grill!
Ugh!!
Hey, Craig,
is something tong?
Craig: Wrrr.
Activate[sighs]
helpful son mode.
Duane: Once we get this baby
up and running,
we can add the ol'
plate of vitamin Bs,
"B" for burgers.
[ Laughs ]
They're steaks.
Dad, come on!
I got places to be!
All right,
hold your horses.
Wouldn't want to
make a mistake.
Whoa!
My guy, you ever
use a grill?
Here. Let me show you how
to take care of these bad boys.
Look at them --
raw, uncooked, uneducated.
It's up to us to help them cook
up into happy, healthy steaks.
Now, we don't want to mess
with them too much.
Important to give
them their space,
but if we're not careful,
they could wind up overcooked
and off to college
before you know it,
and all you'll be able
to think about
are the times you could have
talked to them, and you didn't.
Uh, Dad?
Speaking of school,
how's advanced math going?
My guy
in advanced math --
makes me feel like we should be
in advanced parenting, huh?
Right. You feeling
good about it?
[ Sighs ] I guess things have
been pretty hard in math lately.
Oh? Oh?
I've been learning stuff
I've never learned before.
Yeah? Yeah?
And I-I guess --
And I guess
I've been feeling --
[ Shatter! ]
What broke?!
Jessica: It's -- It's, um --
I broke grandma's plate!
Okay!
Don't move!
My guy, keep an eye
on the grill.
If I'm not back in a few
minutes, flip them for me.
You're not wearing
socks, are you?!
[ Sizzling ]
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
[ Coughs ]
The water balloon war
has taken a turn
for the worst.
Some kids just started filling
garbage bags with water.
[ Kids screaming ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh, Craig, if I don't
make it out of here --
No. No, don't
say it, JP.
I got to tell you, man. Bernard
is a really great dresser!
No!! No! He's not.
Hang on, guys!
Here I come!
[ Grunts ]
Dang stairs are
so slippery.
I'm going to [grunts] the hose,
[grunts] and run it down
[grunts] to the creek.
Easy. Easy.
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
Craig! Craig,
we need the hose!
Whoa! Dang stairs
are so slippery.
Craig, I told you
to watch the grill!
I thought we agreed --
no more hose mummies.
Okay. No, no. Okay.
You know what, Craig?
We have to go!
Aah! It's constricting
around my body!
You should have
thought of that, boy!
♪♪
[ Both scream ]
Put it out!
Put it out!
Look who just happened to be
in the neighborhood.
I brought
potato salad.
Whoa!
Aah!
[ Sizzling ]
[ Both chuckling ]
What are
we laughing at?
I'm just thinking
of all the things I'm gonna put
on your tombstone.
[ Laughs ]
Nicole: All right,
no more tiptoeing around.
What's been going on?
Ever since you started
that new math group,
you've been
so distracted.
Distracted?! You almost
burned the house down!
You struggling in math?
Here, I'll help.
We lost one, two, three,
four, five steaks!
Also, you almost burned
the house down!
You got house money,
Craig?
I bet the creek
don't have house money.
What your father is trying
to say is the point of tonight
was to check in
with you kids.
Just tell me
what's going on with you.
Wellthere's this huge water-
balloon fight in the creek.
Tony Mozafari showed up
out of nowhere
and started making trouble.
He's always doing
stuff like that.
So, the ninja kids
retaliate,
and Kelsey filled
her sword with water.
And, oh, poor JP!
And I just wanted to be there.
I wanted to be there
to help my friends.
I'm good
at helping my friends,
but I was taking
so long on my math
'cause this new math
is really hard.
I'm glad I'm in this class,
but it's just harder,
and I'm not used to it.
Hey. Hey!
Sounds like you got
a lot going on.
Math is tough, and the math
you've got is even tougher.
That's the challenge
of being smart.
But, you know, the things you
miss out on help you appreciate
the things
you're able to see.
Mm-hmm.[ Clears throat ]
I mean, mm-hmm!
Your dad and I,
we miss out
on a lot of things
watching you kids grow up.
You got your girlfriends,
their potato salads,
your water-balloon fights,
your Tony Mozafaris.
Your hair's pretty!I know.
And I make the table!
Nicole: Yes, you do.
We just want to know
what's going on sometimes.
You're a busy guy,
and we miss you.
That's all.
Okay.
Duane: Well, I'm not gonna let
steak night go to waste.
I'm going to order
a steak pizza.
It'll take
about 45 minutes.
You think that's enough time
to save your friends?
45 minutes is
perfect!
[ Smooches ]
That's just one
I really didn't want to miss.
Now, go soak
them suckas!
[ Panting ]
I'm coming, guys! I'm coming!
Huh?
Hi, Craig.
♪♪
What are you guys
doing here?
Have Ifailed you?
Nah. Someone put soda
in the water balloons,
a weak, cowardly,
delicious mistake, so we left.
Yeah. Now
we're all sticky.
Oh, and also, we keep
getting followed by bees.
Bees?! Then why the heck
did you come here?
I don't want bees
to know where I live!
Wow. You guys
look sticky.
If you're feeling hungry,
you're welcome to stick around.
[ Both laugh ]
Oh! Wow!
That's a good one!
I really like
that JP.
You know, I almost burned down
my grandma's house once.
Jessica: Move your elbows!
I'm still making the table!
When it's time to go to bed
Know you don't
have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
At the creek
Just like I drew it.
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
[ Beep ]Craig!
Why aren't you
at the creek?!
Oh, hey. Hey, Craig.
Why aren't you
at the creek?!
I'm working
on some math homework.
I got put in
an advanced math group,
and this new math
is twice as hard.
Well, maybe
2 1/3 as hard.
If I had two
worksheets per week,
and now I get four,
then --
The point is change
is stressful,
and I'm afraid
to tell my parents!
Well, I got
some math for you.
What does water plus balloons
plus sheer terrorequal?
Can you assign a numeric value
to those words?
There's
a water-balloon fight!
♪♪
What?! But it's not
even summer yet!
Tony Mozafari showed up,
and just threw one
right in the ninja kids' faces,
and now it's on!
Hurry before you
miss all the fun!
[ Beep ]
♪♪
Craig:
Hydro-assault Craig!
Ha! Hoo! Oh, yeah!
Huh?
Craig, where are you
running off to
looking like the world's
cutest fisherman?
Uhthe creek?
Oh, sorry, baby.
You're going to have to stick
to dry land.
Tonight,
we're having a
[Slo-mo]
family dinner.
Nooo!!
Wait. We have dinner
everynight.
Well, tonight's special.
Dad's home early from work,
Bernard doesn't have
any extracurriculars,
and your little sister agreed
to eat some vegetables.
We can finally have a nice night
together where we can all talk.
Sorry to rain on your parade,
my guy, [chuckles]
but do you know what's better
than a parade?
Steaks, Craig.
Steaks.
♪♪
I've got to
get out of this.
Don't worry. I'll be there soon,
or skulls trying. Fire emoji.
♪♪
Nicole and Duane: We're gonna
grill some stea-aks ♪
We're gonna grill
some stea-aks ♪
Cows, your butts
are ba-aked ♪
Or grilled.[ Both laugh ]
Corner to corner, edge to edge,
this is how we make our beds.
Scanning
for escape routes.
Boop, boop, boop, wrrr.
♪♪
Boop, boop, wrrr.
Hey, honey.
How's one of my
three reasons for living?
Schoom, wrrr.
Is everything
all right?
Everything's fine
I guess.
What's the matter,
sweetie?
Well, I've decided
to become a vegetarian.
Really?
When did this happen?
Well, the other day,
I was thinking
that animals are
living beings.
They deserve to be free to fly
and swim and get an education.
You know, I can't say
I didn't see this coming.
You've always been
a very empathic child.
I remember one time
when you were 2 years old --
Yeah, anyway,
I don't want to mess up dinner,
so I'm just going to grab
a snack and go to the creek.
Craig,
that's a chicken leg.
Oh, but chickens
don't need legs to fly.
Uh-huh. Why don't you
put that back, nature boy?
Ugh, Craig, are you trying
to skip out on dinner?
Enemy detected.
Wrrr.
♪♪
These moments with Mom
and Dad are precious.
You should
cherish them.
Activating
destroy mode.
I do cherish
Mom and Dad!
Ohh. What an aggressively
sweet thing to say.
Ugh. Anyway, Mom, can Alexis
come over for dinner?
I'm sorry, but we only bought
enough steaks
for the five of us.
Right.Target neutralized.
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
♪♪
Ah! Wait for me.
I'll find a way
to speed up dinner.
Greater than, underscore,
less than, sweat emoji.
Wrrr.
♪♪
Fast mode engaged!
♪♪
Table is all set, so let's start
eating that steak!
I'll have mine extra rare,
as in right now.
It's completely wrong,
Craig!
It's supposed to be
like this.
Corners to corners,
edge to edge.
This is what you did.
See how terrible
that is?
Craig, let your
sister do her job.
Why don't you tell me how
that new math group is going?
It's, uh[ Cellphone buzzing ]
I got to use
the little man's room!
Hmm.
JP: Kids aren't just using
water balloons!
They're using
water guns, too!
So, we're using
water swords!
Aah!
I'll be there soon!
Duane:
Everything's ready!
I figured out how
to turn on the grill!
Ugh!!
Hey, Craig,
is something tong?
Craig: Wrrr.
Activate[sighs]
helpful son mode.
Duane: Once we get this baby
up and running,
we can add the ol'
plate of vitamin Bs,
"B" for burgers.
[ Laughs ]
They're steaks.
Dad, come on!
I got places to be!
All right,
hold your horses.
Wouldn't want to
make a mistake.
Whoa!
My guy, you ever
use a grill?
Here. Let me show you how
to take care of these bad boys.
Look at them --
raw, uncooked, uneducated.
It's up to us to help them cook
up into happy, healthy steaks.
Now, we don't want to mess
with them too much.
Important to give
them their space,
but if we're not careful,
they could wind up overcooked
and off to college
before you know it,
and all you'll be able
to think about
are the times you could have
talked to them, and you didn't.
Uh, Dad?
Speaking of school,
how's advanced math going?
My guy
in advanced math --
makes me feel like we should be
in advanced parenting, huh?
Right. You feeling
good about it?
[ Sighs ] I guess things have
been pretty hard in math lately.
Oh? Oh?
I've been learning stuff
I've never learned before.
Yeah? Yeah?
And I-I guess --
And I guess
I've been feeling --
[ Shatter! ]
What broke?!
Jessica: It's -- It's, um --
I broke grandma's plate!
Okay!
Don't move!
My guy, keep an eye
on the grill.
If I'm not back in a few
minutes, flip them for me.
You're not wearing
socks, are you?!
[ Sizzling ]
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
[ Coughs ]
The water balloon war
has taken a turn
for the worst.
Some kids just started filling
garbage bags with water.
[ Kids screaming ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh, Craig, if I don't
make it out of here --
No. No, don't
say it, JP.
I got to tell you, man. Bernard
is a really great dresser!
No!! No! He's not.
Hang on, guys!
Here I come!
[ Grunts ]
Dang stairs are
so slippery.
I'm going to [grunts] the hose,
[grunts] and run it down
[grunts] to the creek.
Easy. Easy.
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
Craig! Craig,
we need the hose!
Whoa! Dang stairs
are so slippery.
Craig, I told you
to watch the grill!
I thought we agreed --
no more hose mummies.
Okay. No, no. Okay.
You know what, Craig?
We have to go!
Aah! It's constricting
around my body!
You should have
thought of that, boy!
♪♪
[ Both scream ]
Put it out!
Put it out!
Look who just happened to be
in the neighborhood.
I brought
potato salad.
Whoa!
Aah!
[ Sizzling ]
[ Both chuckling ]
What are
we laughing at?
I'm just thinking
of all the things I'm gonna put
on your tombstone.
[ Laughs ]
Nicole: All right,
no more tiptoeing around.
What's been going on?
Ever since you started
that new math group,
you've been
so distracted.
Distracted?! You almost
burned the house down!
You struggling in math?
Here, I'll help.
We lost one, two, three,
four, five steaks!
Also, you almost burned
the house down!
You got house money,
Craig?
I bet the creek
don't have house money.
What your father is trying
to say is the point of tonight
was to check in
with you kids.
Just tell me
what's going on with you.
Wellthere's this huge water-
balloon fight in the creek.
Tony Mozafari showed up
out of nowhere
and started making trouble.
He's always doing
stuff like that.
So, the ninja kids
retaliate,
and Kelsey filled
her sword with water.
And, oh, poor JP!
And I just wanted to be there.
I wanted to be there
to help my friends.
I'm good
at helping my friends,
but I was taking
so long on my math
'cause this new math
is really hard.
I'm glad I'm in this class,
but it's just harder,
and I'm not used to it.
Hey. Hey!
Sounds like you got
a lot going on.
Math is tough, and the math
you've got is even tougher.
That's the challenge
of being smart.
But, you know, the things you
miss out on help you appreciate
the things
you're able to see.
Mm-hmm.[ Clears throat ]
I mean, mm-hmm!
Your dad and I,
we miss out
on a lot of things
watching you kids grow up.
You got your girlfriends,
their potato salads,
your water-balloon fights,
your Tony Mozafaris.
Your hair's pretty!I know.
And I make the table!
Nicole: Yes, you do.
We just want to know
what's going on sometimes.
You're a busy guy,
and we miss you.
That's all.
Okay.
Duane: Well, I'm not gonna let
steak night go to waste.
I'm going to order
a steak pizza.
It'll take
about 45 minutes.
You think that's enough time
to save your friends?
45 minutes is
perfect!
[ Smooches ]
That's just one
I really didn't want to miss.
Now, go soak
them suckas!
[ Panting ]
I'm coming, guys! I'm coming!
Huh?
Hi, Craig.
♪♪
What are you guys
doing here?
Have Ifailed you?
Nah. Someone put soda
in the water balloons,
a weak, cowardly,
delicious mistake, so we left.
Yeah. Now
we're all sticky.
Oh, and also, we keep
getting followed by bees.
Bees?! Then why the heck
did you come here?
I don't want bees
to know where I live!
Wow. You guys
look sticky.
If you're feeling hungry,
you're welcome to stick around.
[ Both laugh ]
Oh! Wow!
That's a good one!
I really like
that JP.
You know, I almost burned down
my grandma's house once.
Jessica: Move your elbows!
I'm still making the table!
When it's time to go to bed
Know you don't
have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
At the creek
Just like I drew it.