Danger Mouse (2015) s01e08 Episode Script
The Other Day the Earth Stood Still
Chief! Chaos.
Chaos.
And triple chaos.
As the world teeters on the brink of gridlock, a nation turns to its greatest hero, Danger Mouse.
But before he can save the planet, first he must save his friend from the fiendish hands of - Yee-ha! the Martians? Chief? Cor! You're gonna get it now.
Can I be the hero in the next training session? We need to keep things realistic, Penfold.
End red planet redneck simulation.
I wish you'd waited till we were on the ground before you did that.
- Ah, there you are, DM.
- Hi-ya! Oh, sorry, Colonel.
I've trained my body to react before my brain kicks in.
It saves time.
No harm done.
Useful hologrammy whatsit.
I'm actually at my desk working.
Uh, thank you, Prime Minister.
It's that level of preparation that has helped you save the world single-handed time and time again.
Hardly single-handed, Colonel.
I've always got Penfold.
Penfold? He was here a minute ago.
Important mission, DM.
The files are being sent to you as we speak.
Activate i-patch.
Access messages.
Only show important messages.
It's two for one on all pies at Big Mike's Pie Stall.
Bargain.
But only show really, really important messages.
Every mode of transport in the world has been stopped by red traffic lights, apart from what appears to be a rusty old rocket and a supermarket cart.
This is the work of Baron Von Greenback.
Pay me all the money in the world or I'll bring the whole planet to a standstill.
Find out more by pressing the red button or by visiting The baron's hiding out at the Eiffel Tower.
How can you be sure? The boffins spent months decoding encrypted messages.
Then they typed "Greenback's secret lair" into a search engine and found this.
Good luck, DM.
We're counting on you.
Come on, Penfold.
Coming, Chief.
Since your last mission, I've upgraded the Mark IV.
It now has everything from inflatable decoys of itself to six automated laser cannon.
We've thrown in everything, including the kitchen sink.
Crikey, Chief! This car can do everything except tap-dance.
It can travel from here to Paris in 14.
5 seconds, but No time for buts, Professor.
There's no time to lose.
I hadn't finished! We need something that won't get stuck in traffic.
- The car flies.
- I knew that.
Pandaminion.
I asked you to bring me back the mega boots.
Yeah.
Thing is Ooh.
I was hungry.
You can have what's left.
I need those shoes.
They're a vital part of my master plan.
Please, Baron, I won't fail you again.
I'll get your bamboo.
- Shoes! - What did I say? - Bamboo.
- Ooh, that sounds nice.
Barone, Danger Mouse, he come! Stiletto, get me those shoes.
I'll deal with Danger Mouse.
Why don't you just go through the red lights, Chief? I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Penfold.
Sorry, Chief.
- Any suggestions, Penfold? - Yes, Chief.
Carry on as we are.
As long as the baron's playing with us, he's not trying to squish us.
- You're right, Penfold.
- I am? Yes, the baron is playing with us.
It's almost like he's trying to buy some time.
But for what? Nothing in the world is moving.
- Well, almost nothing, Chief.
- Of course! The shopping cart! I was thinking more of that rusty old space rocket, Chief.
Activate i-patch.
Locate rocket.
The baron's putting a giant red light in orbit.
If he turns it on, the world'll stop spinning.
Crumbs, Chief.
We'll never get into space in time to stop it.
We have to stop the baron from activating it, which means ending this game fast.
We could use one of the Danger Car's special features.
Brilliant, Penfold.
Sorry How does this help? Not that special feature, Chief.
This one.
Impossible.
Which one is real? Enough of this! Even though I did get a high score.
But where is Danger Mouse? Flying below radar, Danger Mouse hurtles towards France's most famous landmark, the Eiffel Tower, the pride of Paris that survived a century of war without a scratch.
Don't move, Baron.
OK, starting now.
You're too late, Danger Mouse.
My giant orbital traffic light is ready to change! It's madness.
If the earth stops spinning, there'll be no gravity and everyone and everything will float off into space.
I've a-got the big shoes, Barone.
But why do you want them? You'll stick to the floor.
Exactly.
Quick, Penfold, hold on to something.
Whoa! Nice to have some company.
I've been up here for the longest time.
- Ah, there you are, DM.
- Hi-ya! Excellent reactions.
Like a coiled spring.
The baron has stopped the world spinning and everything is floating into space.
I'm aware of that.
I'm floating in space too.
I warned you I would bring the world to a standstill.
Now the price has doubled to double all the money in the world! There must be a way of starting the world spinning again.
It's simple.
You just switch off the red light No time for details, Professor.
We've got a world to save.
Why doesn't he ever listen? Chief! - Yippee! - Ha! We did it, Penfold! Uh, Chief, shouldn't the world have started spinning again by now? I was trying to tell you that we need the big green light to restart the world.
Steady on, Professor.
You can't blame Danger Mouse.
After all, he's doing all this on his own.
What about me? You've destroyed your only means of saving the world, Danger Mouse.
Victory is mine! I think I know how we can make a giant green light.
All we need to do is connect this television to the colonel's hologram projector And project the baron's face onto the moon.
Brilliant, Penfold! Get my face off the moon! The craters are ruining my complexion.
Good work thingumabob.
- Looks like gravity's kicking in again.
- Oh, 'eck! Quick.
The baron can still do a lot of damage with that traffic controller.
We've gotta control him.
A futile gesture, Danger Mouse, when I can still stop you with my traffic controller! Curse you, Danger Mouse.
You may have won the battle, but I shall win the I'm back, Baron! Baron! Penfold, it looks like we've saved the world and you didn't need to be rescued once.
Help! Why don't you do the rescuing this time, Penfold? You're earned it.
Just try to think what would Danger Mouse do? Cor, thanks, Chief.
I'll do you proud.
There you are, DM.
Congratulations on a mission well done.
What would Danger Mouse do? Got it! Attacked in my own base! I'll put you on report for this, Penfold.
- Sorry about that! - He knew who I was.
This is the best day ever! Ooh, ooh! Do you think they'll let me be Danger Hamster? I'd be DH! I think Danger Hedgehog might have something to say, and you know how prickly he can be.
How prick - How prickly he can be.
- See? And so despite some embarrassingly faulty physics, another fiendish plot is foiled, but how long Prickly.
Because he's a hedgehog.
Tune in next week!
Chaos.
And triple chaos.
As the world teeters on the brink of gridlock, a nation turns to its greatest hero, Danger Mouse.
But before he can save the planet, first he must save his friend from the fiendish hands of - Yee-ha! the Martians? Chief? Cor! You're gonna get it now.
Can I be the hero in the next training session? We need to keep things realistic, Penfold.
End red planet redneck simulation.
I wish you'd waited till we were on the ground before you did that.
- Ah, there you are, DM.
- Hi-ya! Oh, sorry, Colonel.
I've trained my body to react before my brain kicks in.
It saves time.
No harm done.
Useful hologrammy whatsit.
I'm actually at my desk working.
Uh, thank you, Prime Minister.
It's that level of preparation that has helped you save the world single-handed time and time again.
Hardly single-handed, Colonel.
I've always got Penfold.
Penfold? He was here a minute ago.
Important mission, DM.
The files are being sent to you as we speak.
Activate i-patch.
Access messages.
Only show important messages.
It's two for one on all pies at Big Mike's Pie Stall.
Bargain.
But only show really, really important messages.
Every mode of transport in the world has been stopped by red traffic lights, apart from what appears to be a rusty old rocket and a supermarket cart.
This is the work of Baron Von Greenback.
Pay me all the money in the world or I'll bring the whole planet to a standstill.
Find out more by pressing the red button or by visiting The baron's hiding out at the Eiffel Tower.
How can you be sure? The boffins spent months decoding encrypted messages.
Then they typed "Greenback's secret lair" into a search engine and found this.
Good luck, DM.
We're counting on you.
Come on, Penfold.
Coming, Chief.
Since your last mission, I've upgraded the Mark IV.
It now has everything from inflatable decoys of itself to six automated laser cannon.
We've thrown in everything, including the kitchen sink.
Crikey, Chief! This car can do everything except tap-dance.
It can travel from here to Paris in 14.
5 seconds, but No time for buts, Professor.
There's no time to lose.
I hadn't finished! We need something that won't get stuck in traffic.
- The car flies.
- I knew that.
Pandaminion.
I asked you to bring me back the mega boots.
Yeah.
Thing is Ooh.
I was hungry.
You can have what's left.
I need those shoes.
They're a vital part of my master plan.
Please, Baron, I won't fail you again.
I'll get your bamboo.
- Shoes! - What did I say? - Bamboo.
- Ooh, that sounds nice.
Barone, Danger Mouse, he come! Stiletto, get me those shoes.
I'll deal with Danger Mouse.
Why don't you just go through the red lights, Chief? I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Penfold.
Sorry, Chief.
- Any suggestions, Penfold? - Yes, Chief.
Carry on as we are.
As long as the baron's playing with us, he's not trying to squish us.
- You're right, Penfold.
- I am? Yes, the baron is playing with us.
It's almost like he's trying to buy some time.
But for what? Nothing in the world is moving.
- Well, almost nothing, Chief.
- Of course! The shopping cart! I was thinking more of that rusty old space rocket, Chief.
Activate i-patch.
Locate rocket.
The baron's putting a giant red light in orbit.
If he turns it on, the world'll stop spinning.
Crumbs, Chief.
We'll never get into space in time to stop it.
We have to stop the baron from activating it, which means ending this game fast.
We could use one of the Danger Car's special features.
Brilliant, Penfold.
Sorry How does this help? Not that special feature, Chief.
This one.
Impossible.
Which one is real? Enough of this! Even though I did get a high score.
But where is Danger Mouse? Flying below radar, Danger Mouse hurtles towards France's most famous landmark, the Eiffel Tower, the pride of Paris that survived a century of war without a scratch.
Don't move, Baron.
OK, starting now.
You're too late, Danger Mouse.
My giant orbital traffic light is ready to change! It's madness.
If the earth stops spinning, there'll be no gravity and everyone and everything will float off into space.
I've a-got the big shoes, Barone.
But why do you want them? You'll stick to the floor.
Exactly.
Quick, Penfold, hold on to something.
Whoa! Nice to have some company.
I've been up here for the longest time.
- Ah, there you are, DM.
- Hi-ya! Excellent reactions.
Like a coiled spring.
The baron has stopped the world spinning and everything is floating into space.
I'm aware of that.
I'm floating in space too.
I warned you I would bring the world to a standstill.
Now the price has doubled to double all the money in the world! There must be a way of starting the world spinning again.
It's simple.
You just switch off the red light No time for details, Professor.
We've got a world to save.
Why doesn't he ever listen? Chief! - Yippee! - Ha! We did it, Penfold! Uh, Chief, shouldn't the world have started spinning again by now? I was trying to tell you that we need the big green light to restart the world.
Steady on, Professor.
You can't blame Danger Mouse.
After all, he's doing all this on his own.
What about me? You've destroyed your only means of saving the world, Danger Mouse.
Victory is mine! I think I know how we can make a giant green light.
All we need to do is connect this television to the colonel's hologram projector And project the baron's face onto the moon.
Brilliant, Penfold! Get my face off the moon! The craters are ruining my complexion.
Good work thingumabob.
- Looks like gravity's kicking in again.
- Oh, 'eck! Quick.
The baron can still do a lot of damage with that traffic controller.
We've gotta control him.
A futile gesture, Danger Mouse, when I can still stop you with my traffic controller! Curse you, Danger Mouse.
You may have won the battle, but I shall win the I'm back, Baron! Baron! Penfold, it looks like we've saved the world and you didn't need to be rescued once.
Help! Why don't you do the rescuing this time, Penfold? You're earned it.
Just try to think what would Danger Mouse do? Cor, thanks, Chief.
I'll do you proud.
There you are, DM.
Congratulations on a mission well done.
What would Danger Mouse do? Got it! Attacked in my own base! I'll put you on report for this, Penfold.
- Sorry about that! - He knew who I was.
This is the best day ever! Ooh, ooh! Do you think they'll let me be Danger Hamster? I'd be DH! I think Danger Hedgehog might have something to say, and you know how prickly he can be.
How prick - How prickly he can be.
- See? And so despite some embarrassingly faulty physics, another fiendish plot is foiled, but how long Prickly.
Because he's a hedgehog.
Tune in next week!