Dirt (2006) s01e08 Episode Script

Hey, it's me again.
So much to catch you up on.
So try and keep up.
Lucy had sex with Holt McLaren.
Again.
Julia had sex with, well, everybody.
Lucy's brother Leo got physical with star Jack Dawson's wife.
- Get off of me! - Not in a good way.
Leo told Lucy they shouldn't have done the story on Jack.
I asked you more than once, "Are you sure you wanna do this, Leo?" Dawson dropped all the charges.
I need to get away from you for a while.
Leo dropped out of sight.
One of your walkabouts.
You always run.
Lucy has serious abandonment issues when it comes to family.
Her dad hanged himself when she was a kid.
He left her a note, "Lucy, I did it for you.
Someday you'll understand.
" That was helpful.
Julia's still not quite up to snuff since her and Holt's fender bender.
Lucy help set up Julia in rehab.
I made a call.
They'll have a bed ready tomorrow.
No! No! I don't think Julia's written her a "thank you" card yet.
Willa finally got her own byline.
Little Willa wants to fly solo.
- This would be a great cover story.
- Wow.
Speaking of buying lines, Barrow didn't do so bad himself.
You're Editorial material, Willa.
Lucy ran this story about a cheerleader who was killed by her best friend, after she got pregnant by the girl's father.
It's sort of "man meets girl, gets girl pregnant, man's daughter, who he's also been sleeping with, kills girl" story.
Daddy calls me Sarah when he puts his love in me.
If only she'd get another cover out of that.
What? Reverend Sweet has consented to an interview, but won't talk to a reporter, only wants the editor-in-chief.
- You're Lucy Spiller.
- Yes.
- Is that a tape recorder? - It is.
Do you mind? So many things rhyme.
"Goosey Lucy, Juicy Lucy.
" Children can be just as cruel as adults.
Tell me about your relationship with Amber.
Amber's father died when she was very young.
It's hard to grow up when a parent is taken suddenly.
You know, don't you? You lost your father.
The dead are always with us.
Let that be a comfort to you.
He loves you very much.
He's right here.
Yeah.
How old was she when you first molested her? He worries that you're not sleeping.
Look, if we're going to conjure the dead, let's talk to Amber.
Were you trying to get her pregnant? Do you know your scripture, Lucy? It's a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
If you're not going to answer, there's no reason for this interview.
He knows you suffer.
His death, so hard to accept.
- Your father has a message.
- You have time to waste He wants you to understand he did it for you.
He did it for you! Tell him you understand! End his suffering! It's hard to grow up when a parent is taken suddenly.
The dead are always with us.
Let that be a comfort to you.
He knows you suffer.
His death, so hard to accept.
Your father has a message.
He wants you to understand.
He did it for you.
- Hey.
- Hey, baby.
Sit, sit.
I keep eating this shit hoping I'll find a finger or a tooth in here so I could sue and retire but nothing but chicken.
- Assholes.
Here.
- Oh, no.
So, what ya got, pal o' mine? You know that actress on Birdie, Birdie? - Dana Pritchard.
- Mm.
Yeah, I covered her divorce from that rocker, Perez.
He beat the crap out of her, but only when he was sober.
- It was a good story.
- Mm.
It looks like our little Dana's getting married again.
I just booked her the honeymoon suite at the Maroma in Cancun.
Here are the dates.
The Maroma.
Wow, who's the groom? Another abusive drummer? I'm a travel agent, not a psychic, sweetheart.
You don't have a name? - Airline tickets? - Private plane.
Oh, someone with money.
That makes sense.
Her career isn't bringing it.
Maybe he loves her.
Maybe she likes it in the seat.
That's what I'm holding out for.
All right, Tony, thanks.
Keep me on speed dial, all right? - Keep them Benjamins coming, legs.
- All right.
He just booked her the honeymoon suite at the Maroma in Cancun.
- Dana Pritchard.
- Booked a honeymoon suite.
She's a B-list actress with a sinking sitcom.
I love the smell of PR bullshit in the morning.
- Well, I don't smell it.
- Really? Take a deep breath.
Dana Pritchard's 15 seconds are over.
She had them in front of a club when someone with a cell-phone cam caught her husband, rock star Joey Perez, beating her like a bowl of brownie mix.
Good footage, number-one celebrity download for a week.
And then America lost interest.
Dana's been linked to everyone but Osama.
She's an ink seeker trying to stick it to Perez.
Do not buy in.
- We're done, stop stalking me.
- Look, I called Dana's hair guru.
He's booked for a house call next Sunday at 8am, two heads.
Two heads? Give the story to nuts 'n' sluts.
Kenny? Aspirin? If you really want to chase your tail on this, - set up a lunch with her manager.
- Jimmy Rembar.
Pick up the tab, he'll show his hand.
Harvard boy can't hold in a fart.
- Thanks.
- Got your mother's service.
- Left word.
- Try her car.
Oh, God.
I've got Holt McLaren on hold for you.
Hola, titty boy.
Hang on, I've got Holt McLaren for you.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, babe.
Hey, yourself.
Guess what dope fiend made level five? So don't bring lunch, OK? Because we're going out on a pass.
Julia, I'm sorry, but we're shooting.
But I was gonna take you to this place.
It's Korean barbeque.
Holt! We're ready for you! Oh, God, I was counting on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for me here? I mean, it sucks.
It really does.
I'll try to be there on family day.
"Try"? Julia, we're shooting nights.
It's not easy, remember? "Remember.
" What's that? Is that like a dig? Julia No, you know what? You're right.
I'm sorry, you're right.
It's not easy.
I know.
I do remember.
Yeah, what a nightmare.
I mean, learn the role, memorize a billion lines, hit your mark without looking down.
What else? Oh, that's right.
Shove your finger so far up your own ass that you need a PA I did call you, and they put me on hold.
It takes them 20 minutes to track you down! Time out, Julia.
Time out.
Julia! Dana Pritchard? Where'd you get that one? Under my pillow from the truth fairy.
Who's the groom? What who? There isn't a who.
There isn't a what.
Trust me.
I put money on this.
I really mouthed off to my boss.
She said it was PR play.
Now she can rub my nose for news in it.
I should just quit this job.
I'm lousy at it.
I'm negotiating an exclusive with People Magazine.
And that's all I can tell you.
People's paying for Dana Pritchard? No offense, but that's Who's the groom, Jesus of Nazareth? What's the offer? Just gimme the offer.
I'll take it back to Lucy.
- We'll get a war going.
- Half a million.
Groom? Jimmy, come on, if People Magazine knows, we have to know.
You guys want to get in the game, I'll take a higher offer to Dana.
You make the buy, you get the groom, not before.
And you got to promise me no digging.
- No digging.
- No photographers on her.
You have my word.
In a hurry? I'll make fresh.
Who doesn't like fresh? So What's the most we've ever paid for an exclusive cover story? - What's Lucy buying? - I didn't say she was buying.
- You're avoiding the question.
- Like you're avoiding me? Not true.
Look, we coupled.
That doesn't make us a couple.
You can relax.
I'm not expecting to meet your mother.
Well, that's good.
She's dead.
- Willa, she wants you.
- OK.
Here, big boy.
Pour your own.
Congratulations, your gut's a winner.
We're in the game.
I've offered $600,000, but I don't like dancing in the dark.
I'm gonna team you up with Don Konkey.
- Ahem.
Mom? - In here, hon.
I've left you two messages.
Wait a minute, are you sick? Don't come in here if you've got anything.
I, um I scheduled a nip/tuck for tomorrow.
I can't catch anything.
No, I'm not sick.
I just haven't slept, that's all.
You never slept, even when you were a baby.
Suck and scream all night long.
- I thought you were gonna kill me.
- Did you know a Reverend Sweet? By the way, I'm gonna need a ride after the procedure tomorrow.
I'm not gonna be able to drive.
Your stepfather's in Washington.
OK, I'll send a car for you.
I'll pick you up.
His name is Thomas Sweet.
He was a minister.
He talked to me about my father.
Do you know him? Your father never set foot inside a church.
You can go to the bank on that one.
Was there anything else that Dad may have left for me? Something else that he wanted me to see? - What about those boxes from Chicago? - No, Lucy, no! When are you going be done with your obsessing? The man only thought about himself, and for that, you put him on a pedestal? I, on the other hand, go without so that I can pay for your therapy.
- I stay for the third act - Yes, you paid for my therapy! - And I'm Mother Medea! - This is where I come in.
Please don't mention my procedure to your brother.
Leo always worries.
I haven't talked to Leo in a long time.
Well, he calls me every Sunday night.
Where is he? Well, if he isn't calling you, maybe he doesn't want you to know.
- Have you ever used medication? - Benzos, off and on.
Does your family have a history of insomnia? I don't know.
Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? - I sleep alone.
I mean, both.
- Hallucinations? - Paranoia? - At night.
Take a deep cleansing breath.
Have you ever been hypnotized before? I'm sorry.
This isn't going to work.
That fountain just makes me want to pee.
What are you afraid of? County Correctional, unit five.
Hi, this is Lucy Spiller from Dirt Now.
I'd like to set up another interview with Thomas Sweet.
- Is this a joke? - I'm sorry? Miss, press release went out two hours ago.
Thomas Sweet was murdered in his cell this morning.
The dead are always with us.
Let that be a comfort to you.
He worries that you're not sleeping.
Is anyone there? See Dana Pritchard.
See Dana's dog.
See two idiots on a bench waiting for her.
You know, you're shooting film of a woman with a plastic bag over her hand waiting for her dog to shit.
Start clearing room for your Pulitzer.
Constipated.
Probably feeding it dry food.
I'll use that as my lead.
Mommy shouldn't be drinking juice from the baby's bottle.
So call Social Services.
Besides, I'm not a mother, and this isn't juice.
Oh, there's our story.
"Little dog buried alive in silicone avalanche.
" You know, we're not getting squat.
We'll follow her home and wait till it gets dark.
- And do what? - Go through her garbage.
I'm gonna need some more juice.
This is all we could find in Dana's trash cans.
Well, I can see why she shreds.
The horse has a tighter ass.
- Where is this, Montana? - It's a family ranch.
When the divorce got ugly, Dana ran home to Daddy.
That's her trainer, Hope Duggan.
She was there the night Dana got decked by Perez.
People came back at 650.
If I'm going to 7, I need to know why.
- Anything on the mystery groom? - Ground zero.
Your mother.
Please bring her hat and sunglasses when you pick her up.
- What smells like garbage? - Garbage.
OK, so the trainer's inside.
Can we give her a reason to cough up a name? She's from Ohio, used to train at LA Fitness.
I'll dig.
- Don, what are you doing? - Old bank statement.
- We don't need that.
- I'm almost finished.
OK, but when you're done, don't start another.
- OK.
- OK.
It's Holt McLaren again.
No, Dr.
Tucker told me that I could talk to her.
I understand.
Yeah.
Well, OK, when are you gonna see him? Listen, I hear you.
I know she lost her phone privileges.
It's my fault.
I upset her.
All right? So, if I can talk to her, it'll make her feel better.
That's Holt McLaren! Holt McLaren! What? OK if I leave? I have a Lamaze class.
- Fine.
- And don't forget.
Stop at Mom's house, get her hat and sunglasses.
"Mom's?" What are we, brother and sister now? Excuse me.
Please tell me you have something on the Dana Pritchard front.
I have something on the Dana Pritchard front.
I got a lead on the trainer.
A source told me that her ex bartends at Peachey's Cabaret.
Great.
Look, not that it's any of my business, but, um, melatonin.
Excuse me? Well, it just helps regulate your sleep cycle, so I'll sleep when they put a stake in my heart.
- She's not kidding, is she? - Nope.
Crassostrea virginica.
The eastern oyster.
I have them shipped overnight from the Chesapeake Bay.
Help yourself.
Nothing says oysters like a Riesling from Alsace.
You know, there's a lot I could learn from a man like you.
I wouldn't mind taking your class.
Mmm I still have to work.
Oh.
Your big exclusive cover? How much is Lucy paying? We can talk dirty, but we can't talk Dirt.
Any more rules? How about a pre-not-nup? Six weeks and then we both walk away.
No obligations, no expectations.
- No crying? - No cards at Christmas.
Option to extend? - Mmm! - Whoa, oh, oh I thought we were negotiating.
Later.
I told you.
Work.
Thanks for dinner.
Hi, Leo, it's me.
Um, I saw Mom, and she said that you call her every Sunday night.
I want to believe her because that means that you're OK.
She may just be trying to hurt me though.
So can you please call me and tell me you're OK? You don't have to talk to me.
You could just tell me you're all right.
Please? Beer! Can I get a beer? Could you make that two, please? - Hope Duggan's ex work here? - I'm her ex.
What do you want? She's still not out to clients? My bad.
No problem, just looking for a good trainer.
She's gone private, but you can ask.
That's her over there.
Holy shit.
That's Dana Pritchard.
Can you get that? Mind if I lead? You're pitching girl-on-girl? You better have more than one dance.
Hope moved into Dana's house this morning.
Moved in? - Two trips with a U-Haul.
- They're seen everywhere together.
Listen to what Dana told ET last week: "I'm spending time with girlfriends.
Only a woman can understand what I'm going through.
" She was married to Joey Perez.
Wouldn't that make you want to bat for the other team? People Magazine is fighting us for a B-lister on a shit-com.
It's the only explanation.
Out of the closet and up the aisle.
Get confirmation.
Start with Hope's family.
Don? I need a favor.
Nothing to do with work.
OK.
It's you.
Can you find out where that was taken? - Is that your dad? - I don't know who it is.
- Do you want to? - Can you do that? I don't know, usually I have a name.
It's important to you.
I don't know.
I don't probably not.
It's just another thing to keep me awake.
A ground-breaking study led by Eve Van Cauter at the University of Chicago showed that six days of sleep restricted to four hours pushed 11 healthy young male volunteers into a pre-diabetic state.
- You need to sleep, Lucy.
- I will.
Late for your mother.
Ready? Oh, Lucy.
Oh, baby girl.
So you got the good drugs.
Tucked and tight now.
Tight as a tick.
No, that's not right.
Tight as a drum.
You'd never know I'd given birth.
You know, you had a huge head.
Like your father.
I could never find a hat for him that would fit.
Was that the problem? The hood didn't fit? Maybe you shouldn't leave your toys under the bed.
Did you find the "Sadie Maisie" under the bed? Those aren't toys, sweetheart.
They're objects of love and trust.
You can't be afraid you're gonna get hurt.
No, I won't tell you our safe word.
Don't ask.
It's not that I don't trust you, but I promised Paul I wouldn't.
But you can ask me anything else, and I'll tell you the truth.
Why start now? I've never lied to you.
I'm your mother.
A mother and daughter shouldn't keep secrets.
This is me, isn't it? Who's that man? Spiller and Sealove.
Silent partner.
- Dad had a partner? - Mm-hm.
I said, "Don't trust Alan Sealove.
He's a soulless rat bastard.
He'll ruin you.
He'll ruin this whole family.
" And he did.
Everything went to hell.
He's the one who should be strung up by the neck.
Oh Lucy, please, get me a basin quickly, would you, honey? - I think I'm gonna puke.
- Oh, God.
Hurry, hurry.
You put a photographer on her.
We know that Hope Duggan is the groom.
Listen, Jimmy, either you take the check from Dirt or we'll scoop the wedding with photos.
This is nuts.
You're begging for a lawsuit.
Not if we print these photos and the facts.
They're living together, and Dana has a mysterious wedding in the works.
You gave me your word you wouldn't dig.
Lucy would have just put somebody else on the story.
Talk to Dana, Jimmy.
She might not be telling you everything.
Lucy needs an answer by the end of business.
It was taken at Twilight Ridge, Minnesota, 143 miles west of Bemidji.
Minnesota? Are you sure? Yeah, Quanti di Angelo, the factory is still in business making quality dress gloves for the police and military throughout Canada and the United States since 1937.
They're sending me a catalog.
I don't know about the man.
I'm sorry.
His name was Alan Sealove.
He was in business with my father.
- The glove business? - Commercial real estate.
It's a nice picture of you, Lucy.
You look happy.
I was three.
Thanks for doing this.
You're a good friend.
Does it help? Can you sleep now? It helps a lot.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Barbecue wings.
- These are cold.
- Sorry.
- You're acting like a 2-year-old.
- You're treating me like one! You bring her the Happy Meal and she's gonna be fine? I'm sorry.
Babe, I love you.
Let's just start over.
Stop stop saying you love me.
- What do you want me to say? - Say I embarrassed you.
Say that you don't want to get photographed with a druggie.
Be honest with me! Look, babe, you're depressed.
So let's talk to Dr.
Tucker about your meds.
It's not the meds! God.
What are you waiting for? All right, if you're not gonna say it, I will.
- We're over.
- No.
Yeah.
We've been over for a long time.
- Since before I got here.
- All right, come on.
Seriously, you're not making any sense here! You know it.
- I know it.
- I don't know it! We just didn't want to say it.
And now I'm saying it.
Wait, Julia, come here.
Don't, I've got to Hey, who's gonna clean this up? What happened here? Nothing.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Don't ever do that again.
You scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to see if you were still awake.
I'm awake.
You're working, huh? No, that's just some business papers of my father's.
I should have called first.
- It's late.
I can go.
- No, stay.
I'm awake and you're here.
You want a drink? No, I'm good.
Thank you.
You and your dad? No, that's my father's business partner.
My dad must have taken the picture.
It was in Minnesota, but I don't remember it at all.
- What kind of business is he in? - Commercial real estate.
I was 15 when he died.
That's the first thing you've ever told me about yourself.
Personal, I mean.
I told you I have never had an orgasm with anyone but you.
That's not personal enough? Do you trust me? - I don't even like you.
- I don't like you either.
Then we're safe.
Choke me.
Harder.
Harder! OK, no Hi, my name's Alex.
Hi, Alex.
- That's Holt McLaren.
- Glad you could come.
Have a seat.
- I'm Holt.
- Hi, Holt.
I'm here to support Julia.
Julia, why don't you start? How are you doing? I'm up and down.
I saw you in the time-out room again.
I didn't hurt anybody.
He brought food, and I threw it.
Ready to tell Holt you're sorry? - I'm sorry.
- I want to talk to you.
What is it you want to say? - I was speeding.
- Tell Julia.
I was speeding.
Julia? Holt is speaking to you.
You can't remember any of it.
But you were scared, and you wanted me to stop, but I just went faster.
You could have been killed.
It would have been my fault.
Bullshit.
You pulled her out of the car.
I saw it on the news.
This is Julia's time.
I don't even know who you are.
Well, I don't know me either.
You lied.
I didn't want to lose you.
It's OK, baby.
It's OK.
Dana Pritchard.
No, she's here.
She's waiting for you outside.
All right, send her in.
OK.
I wanted to talk to you myself, no boy games, no pissing contest.
No pissing.
You offered seven, I'll take seven, game over.
- Dirt gets the exclusive.
- Good choice.
Let's not pretend I had one.
Now leave Hope Duggan alone.
No more following her around, no more calling her family.
If they found out she was gay, they'd shit themselves.
Maybe she should tell them before the cover hits the checkout stand.
Hope's not my lover.
She's my friend.
She was there for me on the worst night of my life and then some.
She stood by me.
I'm not gonna sell her out for the better glossy.
- Do we have a deal? - Do we have a groom? Joey and I are getting back together.
- Joey, your ex? - Mm-hm.
I assume you've dropped the lawsuit? - My eardrum will heal.
- I meant the exposure to hep C.
If you want to write about the hep C and his whores, fine.
I'm not pretending it didn't happen.
It was the drugs and alcohol.
He wasn't in control.
I didn't understand, but now I do.
- He's in AA.
- Again.
Yeah, again.
- Some people would call you a saint.
- And you're thinking I'm a dumb shit.
You know when you go into a club and they stamp your hand? It means you can get back in without having to pay.
That stamp is love.
Love doesn't make you pay.
Love forgives.
Someday you'll understand.
Three weeks ago, she was charging him with spousal rape.
Has to be a magical love connection.
How do you forgive somebody like Joey Perez? There's no better way to punish a man.
I never let anybody forgive me.
- But why marry him? - Better the devil she knows.
Another cover in your cap.
I blew a source on this one.
Speaking figuratively, of course.
Not that it's any of your business.
It was her manager.
- I broke a promise.
- Pssh.
Which one? There are only three, sweetheart.
"The check is in the mail.
" "This will only hurt a little.
" That's two.
What's the third? "I won't come in your mouth.
" But I want you to.
Don? - Hey.
- Hi.
Want some tea? No, thanks.
I just want to sit here for a minute.
Here.
You could sleep here.
No, I'm just gonna stay for a minute.