Dogs in Space (2021) s01e08 Episode Script

[dogs screaming]
[ship crashes]
Dig this
We're the last hope of the human race ♪
Embark on a journey ♪
Into outer space ♪
Blast off, there's no going back
We're on our way ♪
Dogs in Space! ♪
Woo! ♪
Dogs in Space! ♪
[announcer]
It's the 14th Dog-Annual Mech Wars.
Nine cold-blooded canine contenders
facing off in a mega mech massacre!
It's gonna be brutal!
It's gonna be savage!
It's gonna be safer than last year!
Will 13 time champion Atlas
finally be dethroned?
[laughing triumphantly]
[screaming]
[sighs] Unlikely.
But come watch anyway.
Tomorrow night at the M-Bark arena.
But for now, let's see that clip again!
[on TV] And again! And again!
[groans] Why do they keep playing that?
[laughs] I think it's because it's such
a hilariously embarrassing defeat, oh.
Ed, it's not hilariously embarrassing.
Uh, I mean
Don't worry, Chonez.
This year, it's going to be Atlas
who smells like burnt fur for months.
You're right, Captain! Just like always.
[grunts] You know, after last year,
I wasn't sure
I'd have the confidence to fight again.
- But with you by my side
- He's gone, Chonies.
And your foot's in the butter.
Hey! So I've been thinking
about what you said
about finding a new planet just for dogs,
and ta-da!
Behold! The official flag for
[imitates fanfare] Doglandia!
"A world for dogs by dogs, full of dogs!
Because of dogs. Despite dogs. With dogs."
The slogan's a work in progress.
[laughs] You're actually in, aren't you?
You're with me.
Yeah! No more pining for someone
who has forgotten me.
Now, I'm all about taking care
of dog business.
I even bought a briefcase,
which I've already lost!
- [yelling aggressively]
- [bugs cheering]
So, all we need to do now
is get the other dogs on board onboard!
Just do what you did with me!
Gradually chip away
at their existing insecurities
about humans,
and in a few months time
I have a quicker way.
But not here.
- [inhales sharply]
- Hey! What are you guys talking about?
Privacy? I agree! Over-rated.
Uh, nope, nope.
I was just telling Kira
how amazing you're gonna be!
I know precisely
how amazing Chonies is going to be.
Not very.
Remember to build a booster seat
into your mech this year, Chonies.
Oh, I will so I can see the look
on your face when I crush you!
- [growls]
- [scoffs]
Come on, Captain, let's go put
the finishing touches on the mech.
- [clears throat]
- You mind if we rain check?
I promised I'd help Kira with, uh
learning to use a fork!
Been putting that off.
Oh, okay, sure.
I'll just get started,
you can join when you're free.
It's fine, I'm fine.
You got this, little buddy!
And I'll be there by your side
as soon as I can.
Hey, team, we're not busy, right?
Actually, I was just about to say that!
Yeah, come on, Chonies!
Let's go build some arm cannons!
That's really nice of you,
but Captain Garbage is my lucky charm!
He helps me out every year!
But you've lost every year.
Exactly, but think how much worse
I'd do without him!
We'll be just as helpful, buddy!
With Stella's tactical genius,
Nomi's bloodlust,
me rigging the contest
Wait no, Ed! No rigging!
Sure, sure. I hear ya.
Ed, I'm serious.
Of course! Me too.
Stop it!
So, I see your drawing skills
haven't improved.
It's the genetic enhancement tech.
A modified version.
We're going to change
the dogs' minds literally!
Isn't that brain-washing?
A.K.A. the second worst kind of washing?
What's the first kind?
Body washing.
Garbage, humans brain-washed us.
They took advantage of our loyalty.
We're giving independence to dogs.
I don't know.
Messing with everyone's genetics
seems a bit wrong.
It took you months to realize
how unhealthy your relationship was
with humans.
We'll just turn down
their loyalty a smidge.
They won't even notice!
Well, if it's only a smidge, I'm in!
What's the first step?
Get matching tattoos?
Use your captain's privileges to sign out
these components from the tech lab?
Oh, okay, sure.
What the heck is a positron ray?
- [both grunt]
- Watch where you're going, Garbage!
Shouldn't you be watching
where you're going?
That's it. Random security pat-down.
[Captain Garbage grunting]
Uh, I can explain.
I don't need you to explain.
I know what big scientological words mean!
Checks out. You can go.
[grunts, gasps]
Okay, let me know
if it's intimidating enough.
Be honest. I really want to win!
[all gasp]
[Stella] It's great!
Whoa! I'm impressed!
[gasps]
[gasps] I'm terrified,
which I guess is what you're going for?
I just have one suggestion.
You're right! It's awful!
[sobbing]
I-I was just gonna suggest racing stripes.
Captain! You came!
From restricted tech storage?
Yeah, I'm, uh
getting stuff we'll need
for our next mission.
And getting
whatever this is! For Chonies.
A neuro-phonic diffuser?
Aren't these for altering brainwaves?
I don't need this!
Uh, you're right! It's a symbolic gift.
Cause not even a neurotic doopy-dooper
would make me stop believing in you.
You got this.
Thank you, Captain! I do got this!
You said you don't need it
and you got the symbolism so bye!
- See you at the fight later!
- [comm chirps]
[announcer] Contenders, please suit up
and make your way to the arena.
Wait, wait, wait.
You've been wearing clothes
this whole time?
Chonie's mech looks powerful.
He's definitely going to win the fight!
Great! So we can skip it.
Wait, what?
With all the dogs watching the fight,
we can sneak into
the genetic enhancement booth
and download a copy of its program.
It's a perfect opportunity!
But I told Chonies I'd be there!
My boy needs me.
What we're doing right now is for Chonies.
And all the dogs.
You wanna be their hero, right?
[sighs] Sorry, Chonies.
[audience cheering]
[announcer] Neptune's mech is down!
- [bell dings]
- And surprising no one,
the Venus makes it to tomorrow's final.
- Atlas.
- Hmm.
Is that 1.21 gigawatt plasma drive?
Hmm, what an innovative way
to overheat one's own mech.
[both laughing]
- [growls]
- [bell dings]
[announcer] For our next round:
it's the Earth, versus the Pluto,
versus Uranus.
And please, everyone, be mature.
- Yeah, Chonies!
- Go kick butt, Chonies!
[audience cheering]
Ready, set, mech!
[all cheering]
[barking]
[all continue cheering]
[announcer] The Uranus is out!
- Chonies! Chonies! He's our dog!
- [laughing] Whoo!
[continues laughing]
He isn't here? But he prom
Come on, Chonies. Get out of there!
[grunts] Let's see how you like it!
[grunts] Let go of me!
[bell dings]
The Pluto wins!
[all cheering]
- You did it!
- Well done!
[Captain Garbage] Chonies!
I'm sorry I was late, Buddy.
Parking was a nightmare.
Parking? There's no parking.
Exactly! But I watched the whole match.
You kicked mech butt!
And I can't wait for you
to see you kick bigger butt at the finals.
[audience gasps]
[beeping rapidly]
[all gasp]
- Bernie!
- My mech!
No!
Whoa! Very un-sportsdog-like conduct
from Earth pilot, Bernie.
[scoffs] Worth it.
[on screen] Let's see that iconic,
dramatic moment again in super slo-mo.
[distorted] No!
- [sobbing]
- [Ed] Harsh.
[screams]
They're not even showing
the mech getting destroyed,
just your hopes.
Ed, it's the middle of the night.
What are you doing up?
Nothing you can prove. You?
Trying to fix this hunk of junk
before tomorrow,
but it's hopeless!
I'll fail again
and Garbage will see me lose
and just hang out
with his new best friend, Kira,
for the rest of his life!
Let's take a little walk.
Uh, how do you know my door code?
[laughs] Oh, Chonies.
[Chonies] Is that alien tech?
That's not allowed on the ship!
Why are you hiding alien tech in my room?
Well I can't hide it in my room,
it's illegal!
Now stand back.
Whoa!
[gasps]
Ah! [laughs]
Almost died.
[gasps, yelps]
Here you go.
Take one! On the house.
No offense, Ed,
but I don't think cute stickers
are what I need to win tomorrow.
These bad boys contain highly advanced AI.
The kind they use in war
to turn any machine
into a deadly, sentient weapon.
Slap one on your toaster and you're toast.
Slap one on your mech
Ed, I already told you.
Oh, come on, Chonies.
I'm doing you a favor!
Don't you want to win?
And for Garbage to see it happen?
[beeps]
[yells, gasps]
[whimpers]
[sigh] Did I fall
for another one of Ed's
What are you? Who are you?
Hmm, I shall call myself Cy-Bark.
No, wait. Dog Droid.
No, no. Cy-Bark.
Oh, I can't choose.
Hi, Cy-Bark. I like Cy-Bark.
You created me. Why?
I have a fight to win!
Fighting? That's all I exist for?
Oh, that's sad.
Didn't think I'd get the first hopes
I ever had crushed so quickly,
but here we are.
No, no, you don't understand.
There's this guy, Garbage,
and he's my captain
and also my best friend,
and if I don't win this fight,
he might not be my best friend anymore.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is to save a friendship?
Next time lead with that.
Come here.
Let's win that fight!
Yes, let's crush that stupid Atlas
like a bug!
[laughs maliciously]
[laughs haltingly]
You're fun.
[all cheering]
For this year's final,
it's the Pluto versus the Venus
versus the Jupiter.
Are you ready to watch some mechs
rip each other to shreds?
- [growls]
- Hmm.
Oh, my gosh.
I am so excited to battle you two.
May the best dog win. Ya.
[all cheering]
Aw, Chonies.
Clearly your captain doesn't have
as much faith in you as my captain
Where's Happy?
Ready your mechs and fight!
That's right.
Sophie came to play. Ya!
We need to run some tests
before we try it,
- but I think it's finished.
- [gasps]
Can we run the tests later then?
Chonies' match is about to start.
Okay, I guess the tests
can wait till tonight.
Let's go.
Oh, what do you got there, Garbage?
Another science thing?
Uh, yup. Pretty much.
It's very science-tological.
You wouldn't understand.
Now look, I might not know science words,
but I know guilty faces.
[giggles nervously]
Uh, well, the thing is
Save it for the council.
And I'm sure they'll be interested
in this little doo-hickey, huh?
Uh
Don't you want to know
what this doo-hickey does first, Jerry?
[barking]
Oh, apparently it also does that.
You ready, Cy-Bark!
I was literally born ready.
Boring. [yawns]
[grunts]
Is that all you have got?
[growls]
Hmm, predictable.
[laughs]
[grunting]
- Yeah!
- Get outta here, Chonies!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
Yeah!
That's what you get for
stepping into the Chone Zone.
Nice one, Cy-Bark!
You're welcome, friend.
[Sophie laughing gleefully]
[screams, whimpering] Ow!
[sniffs, barks]
Kira, what did you do?
I was just mashing buttons.
We hadn't tested it!
But it's okay.
We just need to hide him until I
No!
Turn him back right now.
Not even Jerry deserves this!
[panting]
Even though he seems to be enjoying it?
Ah! Don't lick that!
If I turn him back,
he'll tell the council and ruin our plan!
- [Happy] I knew it!
- [gasps]
I knew you two were planning a mutiny!
And this Come here, boy.
[panting]
is all the evidence I need.
Okay, Cy-Bark. Let's show no mercy.
I want to bury Atlas
like a bone in a backyard!
[laughs malevolently]
Chonies, I thought we were fighting
for friendship,
not enemy-ship.
Um, yeah! We were. We are!
I can't say
I approve of all this violence.
Forcing me to fight my own kind,
feels wrong.
I'm not forcing you,
I'm just controlling you!
I think I might be a pacifist.
Oh, come on!
Chonies, I've known you my whole life.
This isn't you.
Your whole life is like three hours!
[Cy-Bark] What really matters, Chonies?
Friendship, like you told me? Or winning?
If it's winning, peel off a sticker.
Remove my sentience.
Happy, I can explain.
You can explain to the Council.
- [screams]
- Now move.
We're going Hey.
- [barks]
- Stop that.
[both grunting]
Garbage, go to the machine,
lock onto Happy and hit the red button.
Kira, what are you doing?
What we have to.
Turning them into regular dogs
was not the plan.
You said a smidge.
Why are you being loyal to him?
He's on the side of humans!
What about dogs?
Please, Garbage.
[all cheering]
[sighs]
[all gasping]
If you had built me with lips,
I would be smiling.
Thank you, Chonies.
I will not forget this.
[gasps]
Whoa, didn't know he could do that.
Hmm, it would appear I remain undefeated
Ow.
[giggles] Sophie just rang your bell. Ya!
[announcer] Oh, my dog!
The Jupiter wins!
- [victory siren blaring]
- [audience cheering]
[beeping rapidly]
I'm so sorry.
No!
[screams] Kira.
[growls] Shut up and move.
Think about what you're doing.
You made me think you understood,
and now you've betrayed me.
- Just like the humans!
- [whimpering]
All of you are too human.
But I can fix that.
[beeping rapidly]
No!
Time for you to learn how it feels
when nobody comes to get you.
[outro theme music playing]