Double Parked (2023) s01e08 Episode Script
Episode 8
1
- You're doing great, Nat.
- Just big breaths, OK?
Hey, do you think maybe- maybe
you could, like, put the the sirens on?
- Yeah, sorry. We only put on the sirens when it's a big emergency.
- Is this is not an emergency?
I reckon just focus on your breathing,
OK? We're almost at the hospital.
Can we at least put them on for when I
arrive so people know that it's important?
You'll get the best care
when we get there, OK?
It might just help me get to
the top of the queue, you know?
Mark, can you turn on the sirens?
So, what are we?
Do Do you wanna
put a label on this?
- What, like a best-before date?
- Oh. Oh, yeah, are you playing- playing hard to get now?
You're just as into
this as I am here.
Yeah, a bit a bit early to
just be going public, isn't it?
Like, what do you want -
A joint Instagram account?
This is- It's kind of powerful,
you know?
It's like we've got something over Nat and
Steph, you know, that they don't know about.
Mm. So
you just wanna keep me a secret until you
make your mind up? Is that what you're saying?
Oh my God. Now they're
definitely home. Yeah.
Um, yep, hold up. One sec. Hold up.
I'm just, um, just cleaning up.
Sorry, it's super messy in here.
Yep. All good.
- Sup?
- Hey, sorry for interrupting your alone time.
No, I wasn't, um- - Yeah, it's
Nat. She's been rushed to hospital.
I don't know what's going on,
but I'm gonna head there now.
OK. Do you need me to come now?
- Um, yeah, maybe.
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
OK, look, you go ahead. I will find
Lily, and we'll meet you at the hospital.
Thanks.
You did the right thing coming in,
Nathalie.
- Natalie. It's just Natalie.
- Right, Natalie.
We'll get the obstetrician
to come and have a proper look.
But my feeling is that
baby wants to come early.
What? Are you sure?
Are you sure it's just not, like,
picking up the stress and stuff?
Also, do you mind if
we call it Peanut?
- Peanut?
- Yeah, it's just for now.
Like, it's just a name that me and my girlfriend
are calling it so we don't get confused with her baby.
- Sorry?
- Oh, my partner will explain everything when she gets here.
Look, I know it can be nerve-racking when
Peanut decides that they want to come early,
but the vitals are looking great.
She was due before me, actually, so it
feels a little bit scary to be here by myself.
We had a fight as well in a stadium, which isn't
relevant, probably, but- or is it? Like, is it relevant?
Like, do you think the baby, like, maybe
picked up on the stress on that and, like
Like, feeling like it's
under attack? So it's, like
I'm on-call tonight, and we're a little under the
pump, so I better go down the hall and deliver a baby.
- It's just we never fight. You know?
- Like, we bicker. You know? But this
Again, I've just got
a woman down the hall
Like, we are good. We are
good at the hard conversations.
We are lesbians. We are, like- We chat
about our feelings. We talk about stuff all the time.
But she just- she just left me in a stadium,
which, granted, was my doing, but, like
Oh, I just don't think it's good to start a
family like this in this sort of situation, you know?
Ah!
Ah! I just feel like
like we broke up, you know?
And at this point, I don't know if there's
any coming back from that, you know?
Yeah, neither.
I reckon just cut ties and run, eh.
OK.
R-T-A 8-2-4-7.
R-T-A 8-2-4-7.
RT Oh.
Oh!
Fuck it.
Hello. I need to see someone
in the maternity ward.
- Are you in labour, love?
- Oh, uh, no, no. I need to see someone.
- You need to see the midwife.
- No. Sorry. Um, Nat King.
OK, Nat, are you experiencing
what feels like labour pains?
- No. No, I'm not.
- But my girlfriend, Nat, is.
OK, so your girlfriend is
experiencing your labour pains?
No, she's not. No, she's not. She
is experiencing her own labour pains.
Her name is Nat, and I need
to see her in the maternity ward.
You're not the one experiencing
the labour pains.
No, I'm not. Yes, I am pregnant,
but I'm pretty sure I'm just gassy.
But my girlfriend, Nat, who is also
pregnant, she just got rushed in here,
- and I don't know what's going on, so I just need to get to her.
- All right, all right.
The maternity ward is just down the hallway there. Turn
right, and you'll see the signs for the maternity ward.
- OK. Thank you. And I'm
- I'm sorry for snapping.
Nat.
Nat?
Nat? Oh my God.
Nat.
Sorry for worrying you.
Are you OK? What's going on?
Well, apparently the ambulance
was overkill, so there's that.
- Babe, you've gotta stop calling 111, OK, and just call me.
- Really?
You left me.
- Um Got my hospital bag here.
- Would you like something?
- No, no.
- Don't waste anything on me.
Oh, are you kidding? I'm thrilled it's getting used,
and I can just repack another one when we get home.
Would you like some yoghurt?
No, no, I don't want any of your plain
yoghurt. I just have to wait here for the OB.
- Oh!
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
What is that? That does not look
good. That looks really serious.
Why are we alone? Why are we alone? Why is
there not, like, a team of people attending to you?
You need to relax. OK? I need to- I need
to rest here while the doctors monitor me.
- Do you think it could be, like
- like, Braxton Hicks or something?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know how any of this is supposed to feel.
I just know I just got
really worked up before.
Oh!
I've got this. It really helps with
stress and pain management. Squeeze it.
Hey, we're. We're not
still fighting, are we?
You just really can't trust anything
that I say or do at the moment.
You just keep squeezing that.
I am just parched,
so I might go and
- find water and come back.
- See you in a jiffy.
Get it together, Steph.
Get it
together.
OK.
Oh my God. Oh my God. This is it.
- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm just- everything kind of caught up to me,
- and I'm about to be a, um
- Sperm dad. - Yeah, godparent.
- Hey, Johnny.
- Yeah.
Just about what I said before
about- - We can talk about it later.
Yeah, later, yeah. After the
birth. Right. Come on, Sperm Daddy.
- Steph.
- What's going on?
No need to panic. Looks
like baby needs to come early.
Yeah, ideally, we were going
to let Nat's cervix fully dilate,
but baby's in a little bit of distress, so, Nat, I
think it's best if we get you in for a C-section.
- A C-section? Is the baby OK?
- The baby's just impatient - wants to meet you both now.
- Oh God. Holy shit.
- I'm having a baby.
I'm not ready. You were supposed to go
first. I wasn't listening in any of the classes.
- It's OK. I'm here with you.
- You stay with me the whole time. - I will not leave your side.
- Are you sure, love?
- Yes, I am absolutely sure.
Nothing in this world is
gonna separate me from Nat.
Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Oh, dear. - Jesus.
OK, Steph, I'm just gonna to get
you to stay right where you are.
- Wait, what is it? Why? What is it?
- Her waters.
Oh, no, no. No, I think
it's just a bit of wee.
I've been weeing myself a bit
recently, and I think that was just
Have you been having
any contractions lately?
Oh, no. No, no. I mean, if anything,
just- it's a very, very mild, aching of, like,
- minor- minor cramps.
- What?! Cramps? Steph!
I was just paying for the- for the car pack,
and I just sort of felt, like, a little something.
- And then I, um
- Oh my God. How annoying is the parking here?
- Oh, it's the worse.
- Steph, what the fuck?
It's fine. It's not even
like it's anything intense.
Uh
- Oh
- What's happening?
OK. So, Nat is having a baby,
and you are also having a baby.
Di, I need Nat's consent
for the C-section.
- And, Cathy, we need to find a bed for this one.
- Oh!
- OK. Make that stop.
- Oh my God.
- Make her let me go. Make her let me go.
- Make her- Make her stop. Make that stop.
And I also need
an epidural for the loud one.
- Is that me? Am I the loud one?
- Yep, all right, that's you.
- Come on, love.
- That's good. There you go.
- Is this gonna hurt, Brett?
- Uh, I won't feel anything.
Oh, that's
a good joke It's good.
Oh, what the fuck?
What the?
- It's OK. Just hold still.
- What? How?
OK, surely there is a way
that I can be in there with Nat.
There's no way you can come to the
operating theatre. You're in labour.
- Where's Cathy?
- Hold still.
- OK.
- Breathe. Round your back. Nearly there, darling.
Holy mother
of God. Fuck you, Brett!
- Fuck you too, Nat.
- That's really good.
- Brett, stop it. Brett, stop it!
- You bastard, stop it!
- I'm helping. - Ooh, is it done? Is it done?
- Yep, it's done.
- Oh, hey.
- Ooh! Ooh, hi there. Yeah. We're here to see Nat King.
- She's in the maternity ward.
- And Steph.
Yes, and Steph Douglas -
Also in the maternity ward.
- Yeah, they're both having babies together.
- Yeah.
- The pregnant lesbian couple. - Yes, that's them.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one.
- The hospital's abuzz. Can't believe it.
- It's all over the hospital message thread.
- What?
- Jude thought it might have happened during a three-way.
- Hey, we don't have time.
- Sorry, yeah, sorry.
We would love to gossip,
but maybe later. Which way is it?
- Just go down the hallway there and take the first on the right.
- OK, cool, thank you.
Also- - I'm sorry for
snapping, by the way.
- Yeah, he's sorry.
- He's usually really nice.
- Nat.
- Nat, I'm so sorry for leaving.
- Look, it doesn't matter.
- It doesn't matter.
I just feel terrible. I can't stop
thinking about it. I feel so terrible.
- Just forget about it, OK?
- It's done. We'll be fine.
I just think I need you
to forgive me.
You're both sorry. You're both done nothing
wrong. It's beautiful. But we gotta get her in.
Oh, my God. No. Please stop. Don't give
birth yet. We're here. We're here. We're here.
- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, my God. What's happening with you? Are you giving birth right now?
Why is she getting wheeled away?
Is she-?
We need to get going, sorry. Who's
coming into the theatre with Nat?
- Into the theatre?
- Yeah. Hi. So, Nat has to have a C-section.
- OK. No, I can't go in there.
- No, no, absolutely not. I didn't want you there.
I'll do it. Yeah.
- Really, Johnny?
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
I mean, in the grand scheme of things,
what's another favour between friends?
- We gotta go.
- Oh, babe.
- I love you.
- I love you. I love you so much, and you are gonna be amazing.
And I cannot wait to meet our baby.
I love you.
Oh, Johnny, thank you.
- You're going to be great. OK?
- Lily's gonna take care of you.
Yeah, but who's
gonna look after me?
Hey, can you stop
listening to TikTok?
I'm scared the baby can hear it, and I do not
want it to be born with stress and low self-esteem.
OK, fine. Well, do you think you
could just give birth a bit faster, then?
It's not working. I just need, like, a distraction
or something, so can you just talk to me?
Like, world events,
gossip, anything?
- I don't-
- Well, I don't have any- anything.
- What?
- What?
Oh my God. You do. You were doing
the face when you've done something.
- Oh my God. I don't have a face.
- You've done something really bad, haven't you?
- No.
- It's really bad. Tell me.
- No, it's not. I don't
- I don't have any news.
- You've been naughty. Lily, what have you done?
- I haven't done anything!
- Lily, come on, tell me.
- I need this. Pistachio needs this.
If you wanna be the godmother-
You wanna be the godmother?
You need to tell me. You need to tell me
right now otherwise godmother duties - gone.
- They're gone.
- Fine! Me and Johnny hooked up.
Oh!
Oh
my
Oh!
- OK, it works. It worked. - You can't tell Nat.
- This is crazy. You and Johnny.
You actually, like, had sex? Like
Like, he penetrated your hyyyymen?
Oh! Relax the jaw. Steph, relax the jaw.
Sphincter law, sphincter law. Keep it- Oh! Open!
Johnny and you, like, had sex in our
flat? Did you have sex in the house?
This is crazy. So are you, like- are you like, going
round together now? Are you, like, going steady?
- I don't know.
- You are! You've got a boyfriend. This has made my day.
Have they cut me open yet?
- I don't wanna look.
- Come on. What if the anaesthetic hasn't worked.
- I thought you said you were numb.
- No, I can't feel anything, but what if it wears off?
- Man, I don't trust these guys.
- Oh God, Nat, you're freaking me out.
I'm freaking you out? They've got
their hands in me like I'm a puppet.
It's like a marionette show in here. And they've put
that big curtain up. Why? Why? What are they hiding?
It's OK.
We do this all the time.
See? See? That weird guy
said it's gonna be fine.
- So, how long have you two been together?
- Oh, we're not.
- We were. I mean-
- We're- We're not together.
You've really gotta catch up on
those patient notes. You won't believe it.
Yeah, they're actually crazy.
No one ever talks about
how long this takes, do they?
You just hear about the final
moments and how surreal it all is,
but that's just, like,
the last 15 minutes.
We should've heard
something by now, right?
Well, I mean, they're in the
theatre. They won't have their phones.
Yeah, I know. It's just
she doesn't have to push;
- they just have to open her up and bring out the baby.
- Yeah.
It's just they said the baby
was in a bit of distress, so I just
Are you OK?
- Oh no. Oh Um
- OK, here you go. Yep.
You go down here. Oh
OK. Um
- Oh mate. Um
- I don't know what to do.
It's all
- It's all just fucked.
- Oh shit. OK.
- All right, mate. Come on, mate.
- Cos I left her, Lily.
I left her at the stadium, but it was
like I was really leaving her, you know.
- OK.
- And she said that it's all right, but I don't think it is.
I don't think that
anything's all right any more.
OK.
Steph. Steph. Steph.
Look at me. No one's all right, OK?
No one's fine. Yeah?
No one's fine.
No one's got it together.
Everyone that looks like they've got
it sorted, they're just pretending,
and everyone is just barely
hanging in there. I promise you.
And, of course, this should feel full
on, you know? It's like a big life event.
It's a big biggie that you're having. This is
gonna test every inch of you and Nat. You know?
But you're gonna grow, and you're
gonna learn, and you're gonna adjust,
and that is what makes
a good relationship.
You and Nat have got this. OK?
We all know how much
you love each other.
Everyone can
see it. Really? Yeah.
- Do you think we're gonna be OK?
- Yeah.
- Thank you, Lily.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
- Oh
- Oh God.
Is it act- Oh, we're back.
Here we go. OK. There's my girl. All
right. Let go of the ball, and we'll get you up.
Do you need my hand?
I need Nat.
- I want Nat. - Hey, you got this.
- I don't think I do.
- You're doing great, Steph. Now push. Push.
- I can't.
- You can. Come on. Push, push.
- I can't do it.
- Breathe. Breathe.
- Oh God. I think I might just give you guys some space.
Come on, man.
Just go and pinch my toes.
- No, I'm not even allowed down there.
- Please, please.
- OK, OK.
- I'm freaking out. Dude, I'm freaking out.
- OK, OK. I'll have a look.
- Thank you. Thank you. - I'll have a peek, OK?
- What? - It's It's working.
- How do you know?
Cos I can see your insides.
It's coming. Good, good.
Here it comes. Push. Push.
- Can I do anything? Maybe I should sit
- Yes, now keep pushing. One more.
Yeah, you're looking a little
pale. All right. Just sit down here.
- Here we go.
- Have they got it out yet?
OK, Steph, here comes baby. OK, you're
about to meet your baby, Steph. Come on.
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Have they got it out?
- You've got a boy.
We've got another boy.
- He's a boy.
- Mm-hm.
- They're both boys?
- They're both boys.
Hello, wee guy. Ooh.
Ooh.
So tiny.
Hey. Hey.
He's so beautiful.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
So beautiful.
You OK?
- Look kinda out of it.
- That was just- That was a lot. - Mm.
Well, I got you a
smorgasbord of
vending machine snacks.
- Just figured you might be hungry.
- Wow.
Bit of brekkie together alfresco.
Is this a date?
Nah, well, could just be an early morning
vending machine snack if you want it to be.
No.
I want it to be a date.
OK.
Here.
Oh my God, Johnny.
If I'd known you were gonna be this
romantic, I would've pashed you ages ago.
I haven't seen a penis in, like,
10 years let alone two in one day.
I've completely forgotten
how they work.
It's like a tap, except only they
can turn it on and off. You know?
Hello.
And what's the foreskin for again?
- I think it's purely decorative.
- You know?
- This is our little family.
- Yeah.
We got this.
Yeah.
Absolutely, we got this.
Cos, baby,
it's like a light storm
to be yours.
Finding freedom in the downpour.
You're like a light storm.
A light storm.
Copyright Able 2023
- You're doing great, Nat.
- Just big breaths, OK?
Hey, do you think maybe- maybe
you could, like, put the the sirens on?
- Yeah, sorry. We only put on the sirens when it's a big emergency.
- Is this is not an emergency?
I reckon just focus on your breathing,
OK? We're almost at the hospital.
Can we at least put them on for when I
arrive so people know that it's important?
You'll get the best care
when we get there, OK?
It might just help me get to
the top of the queue, you know?
Mark, can you turn on the sirens?
So, what are we?
Do Do you wanna
put a label on this?
- What, like a best-before date?
- Oh. Oh, yeah, are you playing- playing hard to get now?
You're just as into
this as I am here.
Yeah, a bit a bit early to
just be going public, isn't it?
Like, what do you want -
A joint Instagram account?
This is- It's kind of powerful,
you know?
It's like we've got something over Nat and
Steph, you know, that they don't know about.
Mm. So
you just wanna keep me a secret until you
make your mind up? Is that what you're saying?
Oh my God. Now they're
definitely home. Yeah.
Um, yep, hold up. One sec. Hold up.
I'm just, um, just cleaning up.
Sorry, it's super messy in here.
Yep. All good.
- Sup?
- Hey, sorry for interrupting your alone time.
No, I wasn't, um- - Yeah, it's
Nat. She's been rushed to hospital.
I don't know what's going on,
but I'm gonna head there now.
OK. Do you need me to come now?
- Um, yeah, maybe.
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
OK, look, you go ahead. I will find
Lily, and we'll meet you at the hospital.
Thanks.
You did the right thing coming in,
Nathalie.
- Natalie. It's just Natalie.
- Right, Natalie.
We'll get the obstetrician
to come and have a proper look.
But my feeling is that
baby wants to come early.
What? Are you sure?
Are you sure it's just not, like,
picking up the stress and stuff?
Also, do you mind if
we call it Peanut?
- Peanut?
- Yeah, it's just for now.
Like, it's just a name that me and my girlfriend
are calling it so we don't get confused with her baby.
- Sorry?
- Oh, my partner will explain everything when she gets here.
Look, I know it can be nerve-racking when
Peanut decides that they want to come early,
but the vitals are looking great.
She was due before me, actually, so it
feels a little bit scary to be here by myself.
We had a fight as well in a stadium, which isn't
relevant, probably, but- or is it? Like, is it relevant?
Like, do you think the baby, like, maybe
picked up on the stress on that and, like
Like, feeling like it's
under attack? So it's, like
I'm on-call tonight, and we're a little under the
pump, so I better go down the hall and deliver a baby.
- It's just we never fight. You know?
- Like, we bicker. You know? But this
Again, I've just got
a woman down the hall
Like, we are good. We are
good at the hard conversations.
We are lesbians. We are, like- We chat
about our feelings. We talk about stuff all the time.
But she just- she just left me in a stadium,
which, granted, was my doing, but, like
Oh, I just don't think it's good to start a
family like this in this sort of situation, you know?
Ah!
Ah! I just feel like
like we broke up, you know?
And at this point, I don't know if there's
any coming back from that, you know?
Yeah, neither.
I reckon just cut ties and run, eh.
OK.
R-T-A 8-2-4-7.
R-T-A 8-2-4-7.
RT Oh.
Oh!
Fuck it.
Hello. I need to see someone
in the maternity ward.
- Are you in labour, love?
- Oh, uh, no, no. I need to see someone.
- You need to see the midwife.
- No. Sorry. Um, Nat King.
OK, Nat, are you experiencing
what feels like labour pains?
- No. No, I'm not.
- But my girlfriend, Nat, is.
OK, so your girlfriend is
experiencing your labour pains?
No, she's not. No, she's not. She
is experiencing her own labour pains.
Her name is Nat, and I need
to see her in the maternity ward.
You're not the one experiencing
the labour pains.
No, I'm not. Yes, I am pregnant,
but I'm pretty sure I'm just gassy.
But my girlfriend, Nat, who is also
pregnant, she just got rushed in here,
- and I don't know what's going on, so I just need to get to her.
- All right, all right.
The maternity ward is just down the hallway there. Turn
right, and you'll see the signs for the maternity ward.
- OK. Thank you. And I'm
- I'm sorry for snapping.
Nat.
Nat?
Nat? Oh my God.
Nat.
Sorry for worrying you.
Are you OK? What's going on?
Well, apparently the ambulance
was overkill, so there's that.
- Babe, you've gotta stop calling 111, OK, and just call me.
- Really?
You left me.
- Um Got my hospital bag here.
- Would you like something?
- No, no.
- Don't waste anything on me.
Oh, are you kidding? I'm thrilled it's getting used,
and I can just repack another one when we get home.
Would you like some yoghurt?
No, no, I don't want any of your plain
yoghurt. I just have to wait here for the OB.
- Oh!
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
What is that? That does not look
good. That looks really serious.
Why are we alone? Why are we alone? Why is
there not, like, a team of people attending to you?
You need to relax. OK? I need to- I need
to rest here while the doctors monitor me.
- Do you think it could be, like
- like, Braxton Hicks or something?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know how any of this is supposed to feel.
I just know I just got
really worked up before.
Oh!
I've got this. It really helps with
stress and pain management. Squeeze it.
Hey, we're. We're not
still fighting, are we?
You just really can't trust anything
that I say or do at the moment.
You just keep squeezing that.
I am just parched,
so I might go and
- find water and come back.
- See you in a jiffy.
Get it together, Steph.
Get it
together.
OK.
Oh my God. Oh my God. This is it.
- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm just- everything kind of caught up to me,
- and I'm about to be a, um
- Sperm dad. - Yeah, godparent.
- Hey, Johnny.
- Yeah.
Just about what I said before
about- - We can talk about it later.
Yeah, later, yeah. After the
birth. Right. Come on, Sperm Daddy.
- Steph.
- What's going on?
No need to panic. Looks
like baby needs to come early.
Yeah, ideally, we were going
to let Nat's cervix fully dilate,
but baby's in a little bit of distress, so, Nat, I
think it's best if we get you in for a C-section.
- A C-section? Is the baby OK?
- The baby's just impatient - wants to meet you both now.
- Oh God. Holy shit.
- I'm having a baby.
I'm not ready. You were supposed to go
first. I wasn't listening in any of the classes.
- It's OK. I'm here with you.
- You stay with me the whole time. - I will not leave your side.
- Are you sure, love?
- Yes, I am absolutely sure.
Nothing in this world is
gonna separate me from Nat.
Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Oh, dear. - Jesus.
OK, Steph, I'm just gonna to get
you to stay right where you are.
- Wait, what is it? Why? What is it?
- Her waters.
Oh, no, no. No, I think
it's just a bit of wee.
I've been weeing myself a bit
recently, and I think that was just
Have you been having
any contractions lately?
Oh, no. No, no. I mean, if anything,
just- it's a very, very mild, aching of, like,
- minor- minor cramps.
- What?! Cramps? Steph!
I was just paying for the- for the car pack,
and I just sort of felt, like, a little something.
- And then I, um
- Oh my God. How annoying is the parking here?
- Oh, it's the worse.
- Steph, what the fuck?
It's fine. It's not even
like it's anything intense.
Uh
- Oh
- What's happening?
OK. So, Nat is having a baby,
and you are also having a baby.
Di, I need Nat's consent
for the C-section.
- And, Cathy, we need to find a bed for this one.
- Oh!
- OK. Make that stop.
- Oh my God.
- Make her let me go. Make her let me go.
- Make her- Make her stop. Make that stop.
And I also need
an epidural for the loud one.
- Is that me? Am I the loud one?
- Yep, all right, that's you.
- Come on, love.
- That's good. There you go.
- Is this gonna hurt, Brett?
- Uh, I won't feel anything.
Oh, that's
a good joke It's good.
Oh, what the fuck?
What the?
- It's OK. Just hold still.
- What? How?
OK, surely there is a way
that I can be in there with Nat.
There's no way you can come to the
operating theatre. You're in labour.
- Where's Cathy?
- Hold still.
- OK.
- Breathe. Round your back. Nearly there, darling.
Holy mother
of God. Fuck you, Brett!
- Fuck you too, Nat.
- That's really good.
- Brett, stop it. Brett, stop it!
- You bastard, stop it!
- I'm helping. - Ooh, is it done? Is it done?
- Yep, it's done.
- Oh, hey.
- Ooh! Ooh, hi there. Yeah. We're here to see Nat King.
- She's in the maternity ward.
- And Steph.
Yes, and Steph Douglas -
Also in the maternity ward.
- Yeah, they're both having babies together.
- Yeah.
- The pregnant lesbian couple. - Yes, that's them.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one.
- The hospital's abuzz. Can't believe it.
- It's all over the hospital message thread.
- What?
- Jude thought it might have happened during a three-way.
- Hey, we don't have time.
- Sorry, yeah, sorry.
We would love to gossip,
but maybe later. Which way is it?
- Just go down the hallway there and take the first on the right.
- OK, cool, thank you.
Also- - I'm sorry for
snapping, by the way.
- Yeah, he's sorry.
- He's usually really nice.
- Nat.
- Nat, I'm so sorry for leaving.
- Look, it doesn't matter.
- It doesn't matter.
I just feel terrible. I can't stop
thinking about it. I feel so terrible.
- Just forget about it, OK?
- It's done. We'll be fine.
I just think I need you
to forgive me.
You're both sorry. You're both done nothing
wrong. It's beautiful. But we gotta get her in.
Oh, my God. No. Please stop. Don't give
birth yet. We're here. We're here. We're here.
- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, my God. What's happening with you? Are you giving birth right now?
Why is she getting wheeled away?
Is she-?
We need to get going, sorry. Who's
coming into the theatre with Nat?
- Into the theatre?
- Yeah. Hi. So, Nat has to have a C-section.
- OK. No, I can't go in there.
- No, no, absolutely not. I didn't want you there.
I'll do it. Yeah.
- Really, Johnny?
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
I mean, in the grand scheme of things,
what's another favour between friends?
- We gotta go.
- Oh, babe.
- I love you.
- I love you. I love you so much, and you are gonna be amazing.
And I cannot wait to meet our baby.
I love you.
Oh, Johnny, thank you.
- You're going to be great. OK?
- Lily's gonna take care of you.
Yeah, but who's
gonna look after me?
Hey, can you stop
listening to TikTok?
I'm scared the baby can hear it, and I do not
want it to be born with stress and low self-esteem.
OK, fine. Well, do you think you
could just give birth a bit faster, then?
It's not working. I just need, like, a distraction
or something, so can you just talk to me?
Like, world events,
gossip, anything?
- I don't-
- Well, I don't have any- anything.
- What?
- What?
Oh my God. You do. You were doing
the face when you've done something.
- Oh my God. I don't have a face.
- You've done something really bad, haven't you?
- No.
- It's really bad. Tell me.
- No, it's not. I don't
- I don't have any news.
- You've been naughty. Lily, what have you done?
- I haven't done anything!
- Lily, come on, tell me.
- I need this. Pistachio needs this.
If you wanna be the godmother-
You wanna be the godmother?
You need to tell me. You need to tell me
right now otherwise godmother duties - gone.
- They're gone.
- Fine! Me and Johnny hooked up.
Oh!
Oh
my
Oh!
- OK, it works. It worked. - You can't tell Nat.
- This is crazy. You and Johnny.
You actually, like, had sex? Like
Like, he penetrated your hyyyymen?
Oh! Relax the jaw. Steph, relax the jaw.
Sphincter law, sphincter law. Keep it- Oh! Open!
Johnny and you, like, had sex in our
flat? Did you have sex in the house?
This is crazy. So are you, like- are you like, going
round together now? Are you, like, going steady?
- I don't know.
- You are! You've got a boyfriend. This has made my day.
Have they cut me open yet?
- I don't wanna look.
- Come on. What if the anaesthetic hasn't worked.
- I thought you said you were numb.
- No, I can't feel anything, but what if it wears off?
- Man, I don't trust these guys.
- Oh God, Nat, you're freaking me out.
I'm freaking you out? They've got
their hands in me like I'm a puppet.
It's like a marionette show in here. And they've put
that big curtain up. Why? Why? What are they hiding?
It's OK.
We do this all the time.
See? See? That weird guy
said it's gonna be fine.
- So, how long have you two been together?
- Oh, we're not.
- We were. I mean-
- We're- We're not together.
You've really gotta catch up on
those patient notes. You won't believe it.
Yeah, they're actually crazy.
No one ever talks about
how long this takes, do they?
You just hear about the final
moments and how surreal it all is,
but that's just, like,
the last 15 minutes.
We should've heard
something by now, right?
Well, I mean, they're in the
theatre. They won't have their phones.
Yeah, I know. It's just
she doesn't have to push;
- they just have to open her up and bring out the baby.
- Yeah.
It's just they said the baby
was in a bit of distress, so I just
Are you OK?
- Oh no. Oh Um
- OK, here you go. Yep.
You go down here. Oh
OK. Um
- Oh mate. Um
- I don't know what to do.
It's all
- It's all just fucked.
- Oh shit. OK.
- All right, mate. Come on, mate.
- Cos I left her, Lily.
I left her at the stadium, but it was
like I was really leaving her, you know.
- OK.
- And she said that it's all right, but I don't think it is.
I don't think that
anything's all right any more.
OK.
Steph. Steph. Steph.
Look at me. No one's all right, OK?
No one's fine. Yeah?
No one's fine.
No one's got it together.
Everyone that looks like they've got
it sorted, they're just pretending,
and everyone is just barely
hanging in there. I promise you.
And, of course, this should feel full
on, you know? It's like a big life event.
It's a big biggie that you're having. This is
gonna test every inch of you and Nat. You know?
But you're gonna grow, and you're
gonna learn, and you're gonna adjust,
and that is what makes
a good relationship.
You and Nat have got this. OK?
We all know how much
you love each other.
Everyone can
see it. Really? Yeah.
- Do you think we're gonna be OK?
- Yeah.
- Thank you, Lily.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
- Oh
- Oh God.
Is it act- Oh, we're back.
Here we go. OK. There's my girl. All
right. Let go of the ball, and we'll get you up.
Do you need my hand?
I need Nat.
- I want Nat. - Hey, you got this.
- I don't think I do.
- You're doing great, Steph. Now push. Push.
- I can't.
- You can. Come on. Push, push.
- I can't do it.
- Breathe. Breathe.
- Oh God. I think I might just give you guys some space.
Come on, man.
Just go and pinch my toes.
- No, I'm not even allowed down there.
- Please, please.
- OK, OK.
- I'm freaking out. Dude, I'm freaking out.
- OK, OK. I'll have a look.
- Thank you. Thank you. - I'll have a peek, OK?
- What? - It's It's working.
- How do you know?
Cos I can see your insides.
It's coming. Good, good.
Here it comes. Push. Push.
- Can I do anything? Maybe I should sit
- Yes, now keep pushing. One more.
Yeah, you're looking a little
pale. All right. Just sit down here.
- Here we go.
- Have they got it out yet?
OK, Steph, here comes baby. OK, you're
about to meet your baby, Steph. Come on.
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Have they got it out?
- You've got a boy.
We've got another boy.
- He's a boy.
- Mm-hm.
- They're both boys?
- They're both boys.
Hello, wee guy. Ooh.
Ooh.
So tiny.
Hey. Hey.
He's so beautiful.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
So beautiful.
You OK?
- Look kinda out of it.
- That was just- That was a lot. - Mm.
Well, I got you a
smorgasbord of
vending machine snacks.
- Just figured you might be hungry.
- Wow.
Bit of brekkie together alfresco.
Is this a date?
Nah, well, could just be an early morning
vending machine snack if you want it to be.
No.
I want it to be a date.
OK.
Here.
Oh my God, Johnny.
If I'd known you were gonna be this
romantic, I would've pashed you ages ago.
I haven't seen a penis in, like,
10 years let alone two in one day.
I've completely forgotten
how they work.
It's like a tap, except only they
can turn it on and off. You know?
Hello.
And what's the foreskin for again?
- I think it's purely decorative.
- You know?
- This is our little family.
- Yeah.
We got this.
Yeah.
Absolutely, we got this.
Cos, baby,
it's like a light storm
to be yours.
Finding freedom in the downpour.
You're like a light storm.
A light storm.
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