Evening Shade s01e08 Episode Script

Evening Shade Edge of the glade It's morning in Evening Shade and preparations are already underway for tomorrow night's annual game against archrival Piggott High School.
Unfortunately, it's one of the most lopsided rivalries in Arkansas, since Evening Shade hasn't won this game since 1959.
But in spite of that, this game has a rich legacy of tradition and ritual.
One of the most important of these is the annual uninvited decoration of the coach's house.
NUB Hey, hey, what do you say? Mules kick that ball away.
Good morning, Nub.
Hey, Will! Morning.
Look at the toilet paper.
Yeah.
Powder blue this year.
It sure is pretty.
I think so, too.
Uh-huh.
You know that there's an eclipse coming tonight.
What's an eclipse? That's when there's a shadow on the moon.
We'll have to be careful.
Why? 'Cause things'll disappear if you don't hold on to 'em when an eclipse comes.
I'm going to sit in my wagon so it won't disappear.
I don't want to lose it.
It's a big part of who I am.
Morning.
Morning, Dad.
Thank you.
Morning, Nub.
Morning, Coach.
Hey, Coach.
Do you, do you notice anything different about me? No, I don't.
Me, neither.
Watch those Piggott guys.
See you, Coach.
Okay.
I have a feeling you're going to win.
Morning, Nub.
Morning! Ah powder blue this year.
Mm.
Yeah.
Are there any nice people in Piggott? Oh, I'm sure there are, but I haven't met 'em yet.
Well, at least they didn't throw eggs this time.
That's because the guy with the eggs got lost.
They don't seem very bright, do they, honey? Think you could actually beat 'em? You know something? I do.
Really?! I think we got a chance, and besides that, I have my lucky towel.
Oh.
Why is it black? He dyed it black in Pittsburgh to accessorize his Steeler outfit.
That's right.
Molly! What? Amy Nolan's on the phone for you.
Oh, good.
She's going to tell me if Jessica Jordan really wants to go with Scott Henry, or if Jennifer Giraldi said that to make Rudy Fernandez jealous.
I was wondering about that myself.
Wood, I can't believe you're going to walk around with that mangy towel all day again.
When you see Randal The Razorback, you'll change your mind.
You mean that gross, hairy, ugly, disgusting warthog thing you call a trophy? He's everything I want in life.
This losing streak has affected you more than I realized.
Mm.
You can't tell him this.
He's at the age where a man could have a stroke.
No, listen.
Good morning, Miss Ava.
Coach, we got a problem.
We do? As everyone in this town is aware, tomorrow night is the annual Piggott game.
Why do you have toilet paper all over your house? Mr.
Stiles, try to stay with me.
Now, as I was saying, tomorrow night is the Piggott game.
Well, you know, Margaret, I think we might beat 'em.
Not a chance in hell.
Whose side are you on, Coach? I'm just being realistic, Coach.
Look, Miss Fenimore gave an algebra test yesterday, and six of our boys failed it, which means, as of today, they're ineligible to play.
Who? The whole offensive line, including Big Ed Satterfield.
The closest thing we got to a secret weapon.
Don't you have Miss Fenimore for algebra? Yeah.
Oh, don't worry about Taylor.
He did fine.
I'm gonna go get me some breakfast.
Passed it with a "D.
" Hold it.
"D"?! "D"? It was tough.
You go have your breakfast.
We'll talk about how tough things can be later, huh? I'll go see what this is about.
It's a shame this all had to happen the same week you got your lucky towel back.
Yeah.
Of course, it kind of makes you wonder if it's all that lucky, don't it? Well, I was crazy to think we had a chance.
Oh, we still have a chance.
I got Mrs.
Fenimore to agree to give a makeup test tomorrow afternoon.
Now, if the boys pass the test, they can play tomorrow night.
She gonna help 'em study? I tried, but I can't make her do that.
Well, if they couldn't learn it every day in class, how are they going to get it in one night? I don't know, but it is your your responsibility to make sure those boys are eligible to play, especially Big Ed.
Well, you don't expect me to cheat, do you, Margaret? I expect to see Randal the Razorback hanging on your wall, Friday night after the game.
Now, how you get him there is strictly your responsibility.
Just remember what Vince Lombardi said "Winning is everything.
" Of course, he had a lot better record than you do.
It's just a game, Margaret.
It's the Piggott game! Now, boys this is what we call a cram session.
You probably don't know what a cram session is, Big Ed, 'cause you've never crammed for anything in your life.
Now, the thing is you've got Excuse me, Coach.
Huh? Hey, Virgil, got everything set up there yet? Oh, yeah.
And, Coach, you gonna do just fine.
Mm-hmm.
Boys, you keep your chins up.
All right, now, boys, you got to concentrate.
You can't let Excuse me, Coach.
We got all kinds of brain food there for you now, boys.
I want you to load up on carbohydrates, maintain your energy.
Now, a lot of people say that eating too much food will slow you down, but I never found that to be true.
I, uh, combine my eating with a strict regimen of power catnaps.
So, what's Taylor doing here? I thought you passed the test.
I did, but Dad wants me to take it over again so I can bring up my grade.
You're making him do that when he's got the Piggott game to worry about? You want to go outside? It's cooler out there.
No, I don't want to go out there.
Well, I want you to go out there.
All right.
We'll call you when we when we get through, all right? All right, guys Go, Mules! Yeah! Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt.
No, no, no, that's okay.
Have you seen Will's dinosaur? Yeah, right here, honey.
I'm sorry about the noise.
Oh, it's okay.
Thanks.
Somehow he got the idea if he doesn't hold on to this during the eclipse, it'll disappear.
Hey, wonder how he got that idea.
I don't know, Mr.
Lucky Towel.
You want me to talk to him? No, that's okay.
You got enough to do.
I'll get the little kids in bed, you get the big kids in the game.
Right.
Okay, men, we're lucky enough to have an expert here on algebra.
That's Coach Stiles.
Coach? What? How long do you think this is gonna take? It's gonna take as long as it takes you to learn enough algebra to pass the test.
Good.
Well, in your case, Big Ed, that'd be what? April? That's very funny, Luther.
Why don't you take the energy it took to think up that stupid little joke and apply it to the algebra? Coach? What? Well, why do we have to do this in the first place? I mean, if Miss Fouch wants us to play, why doesn't she just make us eligible? Yeah.
Yeah.
Because then you wouldn't know any algebra.
So? So, I've seen the way you play football.
You should concentrate on algebra.
Why? Nobody ever uses algebra in real life.
I use it every day of my life.
I'm the math teacher.
I use it every day of my life, too.
For what? I don't want to get into a debate with you, all right? Coach, take it.
All right, gentlemen, remember, nobody ever won a football game by walking across a field.
You got to hit hard.
You got to hit low, you got to hit fast, and everything'll be all right.
Remember, a chain's only as strong as its weakest link.
Yeah.
All right! Herman? Herman? Yeah? Algebra.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Boys, follow along with me.
It's in your book.
It's page 78.
Now, remember, everything's gonna be just fine.
We're gonna take it a step at a time, and it's gonna be easy as pie.
All right now, in the example we have here, we have the monomial AX to the nth deg Big Ed? What's a monomial? It's a number.
Oh.
Or a variable, or a product of variables.
Number.
Now, in this particular example, you have "A," which can be any number at all, as the coefficient of the variable X to the nth degree.
Now n, as I said, is the degree of the variable, and it can be represented by any positive integer or zero.
Coach? I know.
What's an integer? We'll get to it.
Now in this example, as I was saying, if X were three.
Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.
If X were three and n were three, then you would have three to the third power, which is three times three times three.
And if they was five, you'd have five times three times three times three, which is five times 27, and that would be? A hundred and thirty-five.
Oh, come on, now.
What part didn't you get? Ed? Well, I don't get any of it.
Now, before we do the highest common monomial factors of polynomials or eggshells, as we call them in the trade I'll teach you about polynomials.
Now a polynomial is a monomial or the sum of the difference.
Poly, nomy, you are making me crazy! These boys need a break! Give 'em some pie! Get some glucose in their system! Wood Newton, now half this town is out on your front porch trying to see what's goin' on in here.
Doesn't look like they're making too much progress, which does not surprise me.
Uh, Coach Stiles is doing the best job he can.
He just needs a little more time.
Mm-hmm.
And you're probably trying to get it to make sense.
Well, don't you think that'd be a good idea, since they have to pass a test on it? Oh, please! I am so sick of everybody talking about this test.
Now listen, I always did real well in algebra, and I am willing to help.
But first of all, you gotta get their attention.
What the hell's going on? Oh, puh-lease! The really awful thing about algebra is that the harder you try to figure it out, the less sense it makes, right? Gentlemen what does this remind you of? Women? Women! Right! Girls.
Now, can any one of you tell me that you truly do understand the female sex? You? No.
You? No.
No.
You? You? You? Forget about it.
Gentlemen, you do not have to stumble through life like a big bunch of testosterone bombs just waiting to go off.
No! You can use algebra to understand women.
Now, think of monomials as girls.
Yeah.
And variables are just different ways to describe them.
All right? Now, we gonna work this first one, okay? Now, X equals girl.
It's a girl.
I remember that, yeah.
And, okay, if this "n" was a two, well, let's say that would be a girl who was sexy to the second power, or twice as sexy.
And "A" equals Evening Shade, okay? So AX to the tenth power would be? a very sexy girl from Evening Shade! Mom can I put my hand on your stomach and feel the baby move? Oh, honey, the baby's not big enough to feel yet, But when it is, I know it's not gonna move as much as you did.
Why? Did I move a lot? Are you kidding? You did aerobics in there.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
The eclipse are comin' to my room.
Will, the eclipse isn't coming to your room.
Honey, don't you remember I told you Nub was confused about the eclipse? I promise you, you're not gonna lose your dinosaur.
I was just making sure.
Will, why do you have to be such a baby about it? Oh, Molly, everybody's afraid of something.
Oh, look, it's just about to happen, see? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, hey, I got an idea.
The eclipse won't take your dinosaur away, but maybe, if we each say what we're afraid of, maybe the eclipse will take that away, and then we'll have one less thing to be scared of.
How about it? Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, you go first.
Well, I'm kind of afraid to have a baby 'cause in one of the chapters in our science book, it kind of sounded like that movie Alien.
Oh, honey.
Well, you don't have to worry about that for a long, long time.
But when you're older and you fall in love, you get married, and you really want to have a baby, it's not very scary at all.
Okay.
Now is it my turn? Yeah, it's your turn.
I'm afraid to be alone.
Oh, Will, you're never really all alone.
You know that.
Like in Sunday School, Will.
I know what you're talking about: God.
That's right.
I want someone with skin on 'em.
Will I do? Sure, Mom.
Okay.
Tell us what you're afraid of.
Oh, well, that's easy.
I'm afraid of the day you're all gonna grow up and move away, because I'm gonna miss you so much.
Maybe if you hold on to us, we won't go away, just like my dinosaur.
Okay.
That's a great idea.
Oh, I just love you guys so much! I'm gonna squeeze you forever! Oh, look, it's starting to happen! You see? Wow! It's starting to go over a little bit.
Wow.
Doesn't it look pretty? Wow, look at that.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow, look at that little I can't believe it.
You know what, Frieda? You surprised me in there.
Well, I think a lady's substance should always have unexpected qualities.
Besides, you surprised me, too.
I did? Yeah.
There were a lot of real easy ways you could have dealt with all that, but you just stuck to your guns.
I like that.
Thank you.
Don't let that kiss go to your head.
Boys, let's walk.
Good night, Aunt Frieda.
Ava, darlin', don't you let Wood make you clean up that mess.
It was his party.
Frieda's right.
I'll help clean up.
Oh, no, Harlan, it's late.
Merleen's probably worried.
No, she's spending the night in Memphis.
She wants to go to the zoo in the morning.
She wants to see if they'll loan her some penguins for our next party.
For what? Well, she thinks it might be classy to just have them stand around with the guests.
Come on, Molly.
Follow me.
Walk this way.
Did you see the eclipse? Yes.
Well, what are you doing out here? You should be in bed.
I'm keeping Mom from being scared.
I'll take over from here.
You'd better do a good job.
Oh mmm So how are you doing, Coach? I'm tired.
Hmm? I just hope these kids understand algebra a little better.
Even if they fail, I just hope they understand algebra better.
Oh, I love that you think so.
Hey.
Oh, what is this? Is this your lucky towel? Yeah.
Well, I don't know how lucky it is for you with football, but I think you can get lucky without it.
Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! All right, I like this enthusiasm.
This looks very good.
This looks very good.
Yes? What'd you get? I got a B.
Who else got a B? I got a B, Coach.
Very good, Philpot.
Very good.
How about some A's? We got some A's? BOYS No.
C's? We got a lot of C's? We got one C.
Okay, how about, how about D's? 'Cause You just made it, Luther.
Very good, guys.
I- I didn't see your hand go up, Big Ed.
Well, you haven't asked for the right letter yet, Coach.
F? Plus.
Now you said the important thing was to try, and I tried really hard.
So I was wondering if you'd go ahead and talk to Ms.
Fouch, so I can play.
Yeah.
Come on, Coach.
I can't do that.
Come on, Coach.
It's the Piggot game.
The important thing is that you tried, okay? Yes, sir.
Coach, Luther will start at right tackle for Big Ed.
You got it.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, Coach, no.
Look, I mean, I don't think I could ever be as mean as them Piggot boys.
No, no, it's okay.
You can do it.
Sometimes we practice against each other.
You're pretty hard to handle.
Really? Yeah, if I'm sick or hurt, I can just barely whup you.
Wow! If I'm not there in a half an hour, start the calisthenics.
You heard the man.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on.
Let's hope to hell they're sick or hurt.
A "B"? A "B".
All right.
Your telephone privileges are now back.
Well, it was a little easier to understand after last night.
Aunt Frieda's examples were pretty killer.
Yeah, it sounded like something you'd watch on cable TV.
How else are you supposed to get teenage boys to pay attention? Well, what do you know about teenage boys? Only what Aunt Frieda's told me.
Good Lord! I want you to tell Aunt Frieda not to speak to you for the rest of your life, okay? Look, I gotta go catch up with the rest of the guys.
I'll see you at the game, okay, Dad? Okay.
See you later, Doc.
Hey, Taylor? Yeah? You did good.
Thanks.
You did, too.
Here's your jacket.
Where's my lucky towel? I don't know.
I haven't seen it since last night.
Was it black? Yeah.
Looked like a rag? Yeah.
I threw it away.
What?! Oh, no! It's trash day! It's trash day! Don't worry about it, boy.
We can run out and buy you another lucky towel.
You can't buy a lucky towel! If you could buy a lucky towel, everybody would have a lucky towel! Well, now I know what we're gonna do.
I know what we're gonna do.
Huh? We're going down to the dump, and we're gonna look for it until we find it.
Now, I am a doctor, Woodrow.
I've got to take care of these hands.
I can't be digging around in garbage with them.
I'm glad I found these gloves.
I gotta save my hands.
I am a surgeon.
I'm beginning to smell like sturgeon.
Something ran between my legs before.
I thought it was a dog.
It turned out to be a rat.
Just shut up, will ya? And stop complaining.
I think I'd rather spend with Herman Stiles then spend one more minute in this dump.
Stop growling, will ya, and help.
You boys better have a good reason for going through my refuse resource.
What? When the city leaves it here, it all becomes mine.
No, we're, we're just looking for a little old black towel somebody threw away by mistake.
It's black? Yeah, I dyed it black 'cause I used to play for the Steelers, you know.
You played pro football? Yeah.
I knew a guy that played pro ball.
You ever heard of Wood Newton? As a matter of fact Big jerk.
You're right.
Why do you say that? I played high school football against him for Piggot.
Only time in 30 years that Evening Shade ever beat us, and it still riles me up just to think about it.
Why'd you all want that towel? What'd you say your name was? Sam W.
Huckaba.
Friends call me Sam W.
I- I.
.
I I played football against you.
I'm I'm Wood Newton.
You are? I remember you.
You were, you were, you were tough, boy.
I mean, you, you, you made a couple of unassisted tackles on me.
Sure did.
Well, I really didn't play that much.
What kept you out of the game? Bad feet.
That bad? Well, your bad feet probably, you know, helped my career.
Probably saved his career.
Yeah.
I used to say, "You can't run against old Sam W.
" That's right.
Old Wood would say, "Can't run against old Sam Huckaba.
"Nobody hit as hard as Sam Huckaba.
"Not even Dick Butkus could rattle my teeth like Sam Huckaba.
" You probably saved his life after that time you hit him.
It was right I think you're going too far, Harlan.
Who are you, anyway? Dr.
Harlan Elldridge.
You know, I've been looking for a doctor ever since I moved here from Piggot.
A good family doctor.
Now, do you make house calls? Sometimes.
You know, I still got them bad feet.
You like to see em? I'd love to, but we gotta work on finding that towel right now.
Yeah? I might be able to help you boys find that towel.
Really? Yeah, I saw it when I was sortin' my recycling.
Where? Now I ought to get somethin' if I'm gonna help you boys out.
What'd you have in mind? Well, I wouldn't mind somebody lookin' at my feet.
I can't do it right here.
Why not? No feet, no towel.
All right! This is a very expensive procedure.
Oh, it'll be worth it when you see that towel.
You just jumped up to my proctology rates.
Yes, the Mules played Piggot to a 17-all tie.
Though outmanned and outweighed in every position, they played like champions.
So they celebrated like champions, too.
Now, with so much happening in the world, a football game doesn't seem that important, except it gives us something to hold on to, and we all need that.
Whether it's a stuffed dinosaur or a black towel or simply cheering together for the same team.
And so it goes on a cool fall Friday, in a place called Evening Shade.
In Evening Shade We ain't afraid to get a little laid-back And let the daylight fade Life goes slow and it's worth a lot more When you got it made And we got it made in the shade Evening Shade.