Fake (2024) s01e08 Episode Script
My Joe
1
Oh, take a hint, Joe Burt.
You need to be realistic
about what's still out there.
(SINGS ALONG TO SONG)
Looking for love ♪
JOE: So we already hold the licences
for the initial wind monitoring,
and the measurements so
far are very promising.
You thought I wouldn't be able
to pay for dinner, didn't you?
What did she mean? Run, like, run away?
Or Or
Run Ha-ha!
- (PHONE BUZZES)
- Joe, your phone.
COUNSELLOR: So, how'd
you go trusting Joe?
BIRDIE: Good, I think.
Now when I start worrying,
I just tell myself
everything's fine.
Are you playing me?
JOE: Would you prefer the
downstairs study or the upstairs?
I want you to write.
To bloom.
JOE: I need to be alone.
I need to sit on my boat for a bit.
But I'm thinking of you.
(SCREAMS)
(BEEP!)
ANTON: We're all worried about you.
- Call me back.
- (BEEPING)
(BEEP!)
MARGEAUX: Anton says you're
not answering your phone.
Why not?
(BEEPING)
(DING!)
JOE: I can see you're
reading my messages.
Birdie, why are you playing
games and not responding?
It's hurtful.
(FAINTER) It's hurtful.
hurtful.
(MUFFLED) hurtful.
(BIRDS CALL LOUDLY)
MARGEAUX: Oh, I can't watch it.
Oh, it's embarrassing.
GORDON: The child's unwell.
Leave her be.
MARGEAUX: Oh
JOE: I really wanted to kiss you.
You're quite madcap, aren't you?
(OVERLAPPING, INDISTINC
MEMORIES OF JOE'S WORDS)
JOE: I love you.
(JOE WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
(SOBS FAINTLY)
(INSECTS CHIRRUP)
(BIRDS CALL)
(DING!)
JOE: We must learn to
reawaken and keep ourselves
You're quite madcap, aren't you?
(INDISTINCT) infinite expectation
I love you. (INDISTINCT)
- Ugh!
- MARGEAUX: That's enough.
Oh, for God's sake.
I didn't wallow like this
when your father died.
(GENTLY) Come on.
You can get over a man. Come on.
- (CUTLERY RATTLES)
- MARGEAUX: There you go.
I did wonder.
I mean, who turns up at
dinner in a crumpled shirt?
(VACUUM WHIRS)
You know, some music will cheer you up.
(LOVE KITTEN BY APRIL STEVENS PLAYS)
(PURRING)
(MARGEAUX SINGS ALONG)
I'm a love kitten ♪
(PURRING)
Wish I were sittin' ♪
(PURRING)
On your lap and you were holding me ♪
Mm, what a situation that would be ♪
Love kitten ♪
Looking for love ♪
- Turn it off, Mum.
- I'm a love kitty ♪
I don't remember it being so
(PURRING)
Won't you say I'm pretty? ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
(INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)
(DING-DONG!)
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Seventh floor.
How are you doing?
Is this an investigation yet?
- Will you help me?
- Yeah, of course.
I don't understand any of this.
Yeah. OK, land title searches.
Full name and birth date.
Uh, Joe Roland Burt.
The 2nd of the 5th, 1967.
PEGGY: Do you have an address?
His house on the Yarra?
It's 14 Yarra Boulevard, Kew.
Documents will be back in an hour.
Why didn't I let you just do the search?
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
It's the social
contract: we trust people.
Till we can't.
What the fuck has he done to me?
Land title documents are back.
Oh
The house is in her name.
Of course. Mary.
- Who is she?
- His ex-wife.
Maybe he transferred it to her for
business or tax reasons?
Uh, no, it's been in
her name for 20 years.
JOE: No sign of Mary.
She has health issues.
Mary's being thrown out.
He called her crazy Mary.
If a guy tells you his ex is crazy, run.
Here is her phone number.
Call her. See what you can find out.
- BIRDIE: What's this?
- JOE: Broken collarbone.
- Mary.
- Mary broke your collarbone?
JOE: Yeah, pushed me off a ladder.
(DIALS NUMBER)
(LINE RINGS)
Hello, Harry speaking.
HARRY: Hello?
Oh, hi. Could I please
speak with Mary Walsh?
HARRY: Mum, it's for you!
MARY: Yeah?
Hello, my name's Birdie Bell.
I was hoping to ask you some questions
about Joe Burt.
Listen, I'm sorry if
he broke your heart.
We are no longer married.
He doesn't live here anymore.
Please don't call again.
(CALL ENDS)
Oh, your millionaire boyfriend
is an undischarged fucking bankrupt.
- What does that mean?
- He's still in it.
Oh, my God!
How's he getting away with it?
This is insane.
JOE: Yeah, the Defender's
a collector's item.
I'm doing some soul searching,
and I've decided not
to go through with
use your credit card.
I don't have a credit card.
I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
Joe's been in bankruptcy for
three times longer than normal
for refusing to work with a trustee.
I'm emailing you a credit list
of everyone he owes money to.
Could you just enjoy
this a little bit less?
Just a bit.
This is someone I was in love with.
- Is Shirley Burt a relation?
- I don't know.
He's got a criminal record, Birdie.
What?
In, um, 2017, he went to court.
Represented himself.
Using a false instrument?
- What?
- Usually a forgery-related charge.
Something to do with
Eagles Nest Architecture.
Responsible architect listed
as Peter van Rotterdam.
JOE: My ex-business partner, Peter.
Stuck with him a bit
too long, unfortunately.
You have to talk to
the business partner.
JOE: I have a disgusting
amount of money.
(KNOCKING)
You must be Birdie.
- Hi.
- Eliza Caldwell.
- Are you feeling better?
- Yes, thank you.
Yeah, thanks for approving my leave.
If you've got a sec, I
would love to chat through
the next issue.
Pitch it.
Pitch this. Expose him.
Peggy N
- No.
- It's an amazing story.
No, I'm not going to do that.
Maybe it will help you
understand it all, Birdie.
Virginia really talked you up.
Said I should get you on some
longer-form features articles.
So, what do you want to write about?
Ah, well, there's a new food
security report from the UN.
Lina Malik has a, um,
new restaurant opening.
Oh, yeah, I follow her on Insta. Do her.
OK.
Birdie, if you have any other
pitches, my door's always open.
Thank you.
JOE: Tessa. Tessa Rain.
Smartest woman I ever met.
MAN: You want to know about Joe?
He's a compulsive liar.
We spent 20 years at Eagles Nest,
and everything was over
before I even knew there was a problem.
He used a forged document
on a planning application.
He'd hid the mail.
It wasn't until papers were
served to my residential address
after two years that, um
I discovered that I'd been found guilty
of professional misconduct.
Joe listed me as responsible architect.
He was like a brother to me.
I mean, I was best man
at his wedding to Mary.
You know, he said Mary
had mental health problems.
- Mary?
- Episodes.
No.
She was a lovely woman. Even keel.
Great mother.
He said she broke his collarbone.
(PETER EXHALES)
He was obsessed with her.
Mary thought an intruder
was trying to break in
through a window.
She had to push the ladder off the wall.
She called the police,
found Joe in the garden.
I think you should file a police report.
What?
No.
What crime is there to report?
At the very least, fraud.
At the other end,
rape by deception.
Oh, Peggy.
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.
I was a very willing participant.
How can you consent
when he's lied about the most
basic facts of his identity?
He misrepresented himself.
When a person lies to obtain
money, we call it theft.
When someone lies to
enter private property,
- we call it trespass.
- I can't go there.
PEGGY: Sorry.
PEGGY: He misrepresented himself.
In court, when someone
lies to get money
when they lie to enter private
property, we call it trespass.
Should the law afford less protection
to a person's body ?
violated you in every way
- Birdie Bell?
- What?
It's me, Allan.
- What are you doing here?
- Where's Joe?
I don't know.
I need to find him. I'm in trouble.
Joe's not returning my calls.
I couldn't find his office upstairs.
He doesn't have an office upstairs.
My investors are
running out of patience.
I need to know when the government
is announcing the new red zones.
You confirmed it at our meeting,
at Yakimono, the meeting
Joe arranged for us?
That was the first time I'd met him.
It was a date.
He said
He said you had access
to confidential briefs
from the minister's office.
He said not to approach
you directly about it
due to the sensitive
nature of the information.
BIRDIE: The writing's on
the wall for coal, right?
Birdie Bell here says
the writing's on the wall.
Right.
Allan, I don't have access to
confidential ministerial briefs.
I'm sorry. I don't know I
None of this makes
sense. I can't help you.
(SIGHS)
PEGGY: Birdie, don't do
anything dangerous, OK?
JOE: I'm just down at the local
pub with some of my farm mates.
We've, uh, fixed the fence.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)
- (CHATTER STOPS)
JOE: My friend, Billy Bass.
What can I get you?
Uh, I'm I'm looking for someone.
He's a regular here?
Well, the fish is.
Never seen the bloke.
Uh, he owns some land,
south of the highway.
Only blockies down there. Weekenders.
You know, cartons of beer and
weekend shooters, that sort of thing.
If he told you he was living down there,
I reckon he's having you on, darl.
JOE: It's more like a
shed, really, but it's mine.
A place to retreat to
when the pressures of the
world get a little bit too much.
You're the first woman
I've brought out here.
Hope it's not too
rough and ready for you.
(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)
Oi! No trespassing!
- (DOG BARKS)
- Didn't you see the sign?
(STARTS ENGINE)
JOE: It's more like a
shed, really, but it's mine.
but it's mine.
(JOE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)
JOE: My day.
(DING!)
JOE: Thanks, babe, for the thought,
but save your pennies.
I'm doing some soul searching
and I've decided not to
go through with Eldorado.
(LAUGHTER)
JOE: I don't want to
go down the path of ego.
I need to get back to
Walden, and the simple life.
Hi, Birdie. It's Susan.
I'm happy to pass on Kirsty's number,
but we don't really speak anymore.
Joe won't let her talk to me,
or any of her other friends.
Good luck!
(SOBS)
(LINE RINGS)
Hi, you've called Tessa
Rain. Please leave a message.
- (BEEP!)
- Tessa, it's Birdie Bell.
I got your message.
I'd love to meet.
I'm trying to understand
my relationship with
Joe Burt.
I'm thinking about writing
a story, an article.
He talked about you a lot.
Oh, God.
Bleugh.
(SIGHS)
I met him on an app.
Yeah. Me too.
I went on a few dates
with him, and, um
then he started talking about
how he was going to buy a house for me.
He told me that
you got in the shower, fully
clothed, to embrace him.
(LAUGHS)
No, I just knew something was off.
My guts just knew. It was all the lies.
It was a couple of months of
being vaguely interested in him
and three years beating myself up
for ignoring all the blazing red flags.
I know.
Yeah, with people like
Joe, it never ends.
There's never any closure.
You just decide to leave.
- Oh.
- (RATTLING)
(TAPS PHONE) He's still
on there, you know?
I almost matched with him the other day.
You know, he's got to be
this big, grandiose guy.
He gets off on it.
You think it's all about you,
then, one day, you realise
he doesn't care about you at all.
You're just a prop in his fantasy play.
You're listed as the main creditor
to whom Joe owes money.
You'd do anything for your children.
And it's not easy for Joe.
He has a hard time.
He lost your house.
You know this, Mum.
(SIGHS) No.
Joe is the clever one.
And it was the bank
that lost the payments.
- Mum
- I know, I know.
The bank says it's a lie.
And that if I see my son Joe,
I'm to tell the nurses immediately.
Well, I could never do that.
Uh He told me that
you lived in New Zealand.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Oh, how lovely.
I honeymooned there.
I saw a volcano.
I want to go home now.
It's OK, Mum.
Look, please don't use
our names in the article,
for Mum's sake.
Do you know where he might be living?
Someone saw him showering at the marina.
And down at the river near Mum's.
Well, thank you for coming.
It's really helpful.
Have you seen Joe?
Is he happy?
Yeah, I I thought he was.
I have to confront him,
if I'm going to publish.
- Where are you going?
- I know where he is.
I'll text you when I get home.
Joe?
MAN: Can I help you?
Oh, hi. Sorry.
Do you know this boat? The Blue Loon?
Mm-hm.
I'm looking for the owner. Um
He has a red kelpie.
You might have seen him?
This is him.
(LAUGHS) He's not the owner.
He came to look a couple of times.
His kids crawled all over it.
Said he'd pay the deposit,
never saw him again.
Right.
Well, if you
if you do see him again,
would you mind giving me a call,
'cause I'm trying to find him?
Thank you.
ELECTRONIC VOICE: You
have one new message.
- (BEEP!)
- JOE: Good morning, Birdie.
I heard whispers you
might be writing about me.
I'm flattered, really.
I always thought my life
would make a good movie.
Anyhoo, Mercy's been
learning some new tricks,
and, uh, spending lots
of time on my boat.
Life's good these days.
Getting fit again. Yep.
Losing the little potbelly,
pumping a little iron.
Mm. Looking at a few new properties.
(DOG BARKS)
Joe?
ELIZA: You know, I heard
such a similar story
from a friend in New York.
Are you ready to publish?
I have all my evidence,
and I've sent it to legal.
And you gave this guy a key?
- Yes.
- Get your locks changed.
Hi, Kirsty.
My name's Birdie Bell.
I'm calling because there's an
article coming out this weekend.
It's about my experience with Joe Burt.
Hi, Mary. It's Birdie Bell.
There's an article coming
out this weekend about Joe.
And I wanted to let you
and your children know
so that it wasn't a shock.
New keys. Locks are all done.
Thanks.
MARGEAUX: I've read your article. Um
It's certainly revealing.
It was quite brave, I suppose.
ANTON: Babe, we've read it. Loved it.
You are amazing,
brilliant, courageous
Ah, speak later, yeah?
WOMAN: Dear Birdie, you don't know me,
but I wanted to thank
you for your article.
Your story is my story.
WOMAN 2: My Joe moved fast.
He told me he loved me.
WOMAN 3: He'll say anything to get
(WOMEN AND MEN'S VOICES OVERLAP)
- tells me it's MY fault
- Lies
he made me feel like I was crazy
- My Joe just vanished
- then he tells me
My Joe
JOE: Dear Birdie,
I read your article this morning.
I must admit I was not aware
of just how obsessed you are with me.
A few corrections, if I may.
To be clear, I never
said Mary was crazy.
I said she was having
trouble with her medication.
And secondly
Morning!
Oh, my God, Birdie, your article!
The traffic has gone bananas.
So many Facebook reshares.
Women, men too: they're
all warning each other.
I got 60 emails this morning.
ELIZA: Phenomenal response, Birdie.
ABC Radio have been in touch
and they want to get you on the
show this morning to talk about Joe.
Oh, and we'll need a follow-up
for online this afternoon.
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)
No, I I did this to
be finished with him.
This is a good thing.
You've tapped into something big.
Birdie? Birdie, are you OK?
Yeah, I'm OK. I just need some air.
WOMAN: My Joe made me feel
WOMAN 2: My Joe's excuses
just don't make sense
WOMAN 3: My Joe has a lot going on.
WOMAN 4: My Joe turned up
right when I'd given up on
(INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING
'MY JOE' STORIES)
- My Joe never felt anything.
- He told me he loved me.
- My Joe
- My Joe
- My Joe never
- My Joe
- My Joe
- My Joe's
(VOICES REPEAT 'MY JOE')
VOICES: My Joe is a fake.
JOE: We all carry a weight.
Look, it's interesting. I mean
How can anyone really know
what someone else brings to the table?
Hm? How should I know that, you know,
I should have turned around and run?
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
New beginnings.
Eyes.
Oh, take a hint, Joe Burt.
You need to be realistic
about what's still out there.
(SINGS ALONG TO SONG)
Looking for love ♪
JOE: So we already hold the licences
for the initial wind monitoring,
and the measurements so
far are very promising.
You thought I wouldn't be able
to pay for dinner, didn't you?
What did she mean? Run, like, run away?
Or Or
Run Ha-ha!
- (PHONE BUZZES)
- Joe, your phone.
COUNSELLOR: So, how'd
you go trusting Joe?
BIRDIE: Good, I think.
Now when I start worrying,
I just tell myself
everything's fine.
Are you playing me?
JOE: Would you prefer the
downstairs study or the upstairs?
I want you to write.
To bloom.
JOE: I need to be alone.
I need to sit on my boat for a bit.
But I'm thinking of you.
(SCREAMS)
(BEEP!)
ANTON: We're all worried about you.
- Call me back.
- (BEEPING)
(BEEP!)
MARGEAUX: Anton says you're
not answering your phone.
Why not?
(BEEPING)
(DING!)
JOE: I can see you're
reading my messages.
Birdie, why are you playing
games and not responding?
It's hurtful.
(FAINTER) It's hurtful.
hurtful.
(MUFFLED) hurtful.
(BIRDS CALL LOUDLY)
MARGEAUX: Oh, I can't watch it.
Oh, it's embarrassing.
GORDON: The child's unwell.
Leave her be.
MARGEAUX: Oh
JOE: I really wanted to kiss you.
You're quite madcap, aren't you?
(OVERLAPPING, INDISTINC
MEMORIES OF JOE'S WORDS)
JOE: I love you.
(JOE WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
(SOBS FAINTLY)
(INSECTS CHIRRUP)
(BIRDS CALL)
(DING!)
JOE: We must learn to
reawaken and keep ourselves
You're quite madcap, aren't you?
(INDISTINCT) infinite expectation
I love you. (INDISTINCT)
- Ugh!
- MARGEAUX: That's enough.
Oh, for God's sake.
I didn't wallow like this
when your father died.
(GENTLY) Come on.
You can get over a man. Come on.
- (CUTLERY RATTLES)
- MARGEAUX: There you go.
I did wonder.
I mean, who turns up at
dinner in a crumpled shirt?
(VACUUM WHIRS)
You know, some music will cheer you up.
(LOVE KITTEN BY APRIL STEVENS PLAYS)
(PURRING)
(MARGEAUX SINGS ALONG)
I'm a love kitten ♪
(PURRING)
Wish I were sittin' ♪
(PURRING)
On your lap and you were holding me ♪
Mm, what a situation that would be ♪
Love kitten ♪
Looking for love ♪
- Turn it off, Mum.
- I'm a love kitty ♪
I don't remember it being so
(PURRING)
Won't you say I'm pretty? ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
(INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)
(DING-DONG!)
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Seventh floor.
How are you doing?
Is this an investigation yet?
- Will you help me?
- Yeah, of course.
I don't understand any of this.
Yeah. OK, land title searches.
Full name and birth date.
Uh, Joe Roland Burt.
The 2nd of the 5th, 1967.
PEGGY: Do you have an address?
His house on the Yarra?
It's 14 Yarra Boulevard, Kew.
Documents will be back in an hour.
Why didn't I let you just do the search?
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
It's the social
contract: we trust people.
Till we can't.
What the fuck has he done to me?
Land title documents are back.
Oh
The house is in her name.
Of course. Mary.
- Who is she?
- His ex-wife.
Maybe he transferred it to her for
business or tax reasons?
Uh, no, it's been in
her name for 20 years.
JOE: No sign of Mary.
She has health issues.
Mary's being thrown out.
He called her crazy Mary.
If a guy tells you his ex is crazy, run.
Here is her phone number.
Call her. See what you can find out.
- BIRDIE: What's this?
- JOE: Broken collarbone.
- Mary.
- Mary broke your collarbone?
JOE: Yeah, pushed me off a ladder.
(DIALS NUMBER)
(LINE RINGS)
Hello, Harry speaking.
HARRY: Hello?
Oh, hi. Could I please
speak with Mary Walsh?
HARRY: Mum, it's for you!
MARY: Yeah?
Hello, my name's Birdie Bell.
I was hoping to ask you some questions
about Joe Burt.
Listen, I'm sorry if
he broke your heart.
We are no longer married.
He doesn't live here anymore.
Please don't call again.
(CALL ENDS)
Oh, your millionaire boyfriend
is an undischarged fucking bankrupt.
- What does that mean?
- He's still in it.
Oh, my God!
How's he getting away with it?
This is insane.
JOE: Yeah, the Defender's
a collector's item.
I'm doing some soul searching,
and I've decided not
to go through with
use your credit card.
I don't have a credit card.
I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.
Joe's been in bankruptcy for
three times longer than normal
for refusing to work with a trustee.
I'm emailing you a credit list
of everyone he owes money to.
Could you just enjoy
this a little bit less?
Just a bit.
This is someone I was in love with.
- Is Shirley Burt a relation?
- I don't know.
He's got a criminal record, Birdie.
What?
In, um, 2017, he went to court.
Represented himself.
Using a false instrument?
- What?
- Usually a forgery-related charge.
Something to do with
Eagles Nest Architecture.
Responsible architect listed
as Peter van Rotterdam.
JOE: My ex-business partner, Peter.
Stuck with him a bit
too long, unfortunately.
You have to talk to
the business partner.
JOE: I have a disgusting
amount of money.
(KNOCKING)
You must be Birdie.
- Hi.
- Eliza Caldwell.
- Are you feeling better?
- Yes, thank you.
Yeah, thanks for approving my leave.
If you've got a sec, I
would love to chat through
the next issue.
Pitch it.
Pitch this. Expose him.
Peggy N
- No.
- It's an amazing story.
No, I'm not going to do that.
Maybe it will help you
understand it all, Birdie.
Virginia really talked you up.
Said I should get you on some
longer-form features articles.
So, what do you want to write about?
Ah, well, there's a new food
security report from the UN.
Lina Malik has a, um,
new restaurant opening.
Oh, yeah, I follow her on Insta. Do her.
OK.
Birdie, if you have any other
pitches, my door's always open.
Thank you.
JOE: Tessa. Tessa Rain.
Smartest woman I ever met.
MAN: You want to know about Joe?
He's a compulsive liar.
We spent 20 years at Eagles Nest,
and everything was over
before I even knew there was a problem.
He used a forged document
on a planning application.
He'd hid the mail.
It wasn't until papers were
served to my residential address
after two years that, um
I discovered that I'd been found guilty
of professional misconduct.
Joe listed me as responsible architect.
He was like a brother to me.
I mean, I was best man
at his wedding to Mary.
You know, he said Mary
had mental health problems.
- Mary?
- Episodes.
No.
She was a lovely woman. Even keel.
Great mother.
He said she broke his collarbone.
(PETER EXHALES)
He was obsessed with her.
Mary thought an intruder
was trying to break in
through a window.
She had to push the ladder off the wall.
She called the police,
found Joe in the garden.
I think you should file a police report.
What?
No.
What crime is there to report?
At the very least, fraud.
At the other end,
rape by deception.
Oh, Peggy.
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.
I was a very willing participant.
How can you consent
when he's lied about the most
basic facts of his identity?
He misrepresented himself.
When a person lies to obtain
money, we call it theft.
When someone lies to
enter private property,
- we call it trespass.
- I can't go there.
PEGGY: Sorry.
PEGGY: He misrepresented himself.
In court, when someone
lies to get money
when they lie to enter private
property, we call it trespass.
Should the law afford less protection
to a person's body ?
violated you in every way
- Birdie Bell?
- What?
It's me, Allan.
- What are you doing here?
- Where's Joe?
I don't know.
I need to find him. I'm in trouble.
Joe's not returning my calls.
I couldn't find his office upstairs.
He doesn't have an office upstairs.
My investors are
running out of patience.
I need to know when the government
is announcing the new red zones.
You confirmed it at our meeting,
at Yakimono, the meeting
Joe arranged for us?
That was the first time I'd met him.
It was a date.
He said
He said you had access
to confidential briefs
from the minister's office.
He said not to approach
you directly about it
due to the sensitive
nature of the information.
BIRDIE: The writing's on
the wall for coal, right?
Birdie Bell here says
the writing's on the wall.
Right.
Allan, I don't have access to
confidential ministerial briefs.
I'm sorry. I don't know I
None of this makes
sense. I can't help you.
(SIGHS)
PEGGY: Birdie, don't do
anything dangerous, OK?
JOE: I'm just down at the local
pub with some of my farm mates.
We've, uh, fixed the fence.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)
- (CHATTER STOPS)
JOE: My friend, Billy Bass.
What can I get you?
Uh, I'm I'm looking for someone.
He's a regular here?
Well, the fish is.
Never seen the bloke.
Uh, he owns some land,
south of the highway.
Only blockies down there. Weekenders.
You know, cartons of beer and
weekend shooters, that sort of thing.
If he told you he was living down there,
I reckon he's having you on, darl.
JOE: It's more like a
shed, really, but it's mine.
A place to retreat to
when the pressures of the
world get a little bit too much.
You're the first woman
I've brought out here.
Hope it's not too
rough and ready for you.
(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)
Oi! No trespassing!
- (DOG BARKS)
- Didn't you see the sign?
(STARTS ENGINE)
JOE: It's more like a
shed, really, but it's mine.
but it's mine.
(JOE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)
JOE: My day.
(DING!)
JOE: Thanks, babe, for the thought,
but save your pennies.
I'm doing some soul searching
and I've decided not to
go through with Eldorado.
(LAUGHTER)
JOE: I don't want to
go down the path of ego.
I need to get back to
Walden, and the simple life.
Hi, Birdie. It's Susan.
I'm happy to pass on Kirsty's number,
but we don't really speak anymore.
Joe won't let her talk to me,
or any of her other friends.
Good luck!
(SOBS)
(LINE RINGS)
Hi, you've called Tessa
Rain. Please leave a message.
- (BEEP!)
- Tessa, it's Birdie Bell.
I got your message.
I'd love to meet.
I'm trying to understand
my relationship with
Joe Burt.
I'm thinking about writing
a story, an article.
He talked about you a lot.
Oh, God.
Bleugh.
(SIGHS)
I met him on an app.
Yeah. Me too.
I went on a few dates
with him, and, um
then he started talking about
how he was going to buy a house for me.
He told me that
you got in the shower, fully
clothed, to embrace him.
(LAUGHS)
No, I just knew something was off.
My guts just knew. It was all the lies.
It was a couple of months of
being vaguely interested in him
and three years beating myself up
for ignoring all the blazing red flags.
I know.
Yeah, with people like
Joe, it never ends.
There's never any closure.
You just decide to leave.
- Oh.
- (RATTLING)
(TAPS PHONE) He's still
on there, you know?
I almost matched with him the other day.
You know, he's got to be
this big, grandiose guy.
He gets off on it.
You think it's all about you,
then, one day, you realise
he doesn't care about you at all.
You're just a prop in his fantasy play.
You're listed as the main creditor
to whom Joe owes money.
You'd do anything for your children.
And it's not easy for Joe.
He has a hard time.
He lost your house.
You know this, Mum.
(SIGHS) No.
Joe is the clever one.
And it was the bank
that lost the payments.
- Mum
- I know, I know.
The bank says it's a lie.
And that if I see my son Joe,
I'm to tell the nurses immediately.
Well, I could never do that.
Uh He told me that
you lived in New Zealand.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Oh, how lovely.
I honeymooned there.
I saw a volcano.
I want to go home now.
It's OK, Mum.
Look, please don't use
our names in the article,
for Mum's sake.
Do you know where he might be living?
Someone saw him showering at the marina.
And down at the river near Mum's.
Well, thank you for coming.
It's really helpful.
Have you seen Joe?
Is he happy?
Yeah, I I thought he was.
I have to confront him,
if I'm going to publish.
- Where are you going?
- I know where he is.
I'll text you when I get home.
Joe?
MAN: Can I help you?
Oh, hi. Sorry.
Do you know this boat? The Blue Loon?
Mm-hm.
I'm looking for the owner. Um
He has a red kelpie.
You might have seen him?
This is him.
(LAUGHS) He's not the owner.
He came to look a couple of times.
His kids crawled all over it.
Said he'd pay the deposit,
never saw him again.
Right.
Well, if you
if you do see him again,
would you mind giving me a call,
'cause I'm trying to find him?
Thank you.
ELECTRONIC VOICE: You
have one new message.
- (BEEP!)
- JOE: Good morning, Birdie.
I heard whispers you
might be writing about me.
I'm flattered, really.
I always thought my life
would make a good movie.
Anyhoo, Mercy's been
learning some new tricks,
and, uh, spending lots
of time on my boat.
Life's good these days.
Getting fit again. Yep.
Losing the little potbelly,
pumping a little iron.
Mm. Looking at a few new properties.
(DOG BARKS)
Joe?
ELIZA: You know, I heard
such a similar story
from a friend in New York.
Are you ready to publish?
I have all my evidence,
and I've sent it to legal.
And you gave this guy a key?
- Yes.
- Get your locks changed.
Hi, Kirsty.
My name's Birdie Bell.
I'm calling because there's an
article coming out this weekend.
It's about my experience with Joe Burt.
Hi, Mary. It's Birdie Bell.
There's an article coming
out this weekend about Joe.
And I wanted to let you
and your children know
so that it wasn't a shock.
New keys. Locks are all done.
Thanks.
MARGEAUX: I've read your article. Um
It's certainly revealing.
It was quite brave, I suppose.
ANTON: Babe, we've read it. Loved it.
You are amazing,
brilliant, courageous
Ah, speak later, yeah?
WOMAN: Dear Birdie, you don't know me,
but I wanted to thank
you for your article.
Your story is my story.
WOMAN 2: My Joe moved fast.
He told me he loved me.
WOMAN 3: He'll say anything to get
(WOMEN AND MEN'S VOICES OVERLAP)
- tells me it's MY fault
- Lies
he made me feel like I was crazy
- My Joe just vanished
- then he tells me
My Joe
JOE: Dear Birdie,
I read your article this morning.
I must admit I was not aware
of just how obsessed you are with me.
A few corrections, if I may.
To be clear, I never
said Mary was crazy.
I said she was having
trouble with her medication.
And secondly
Morning!
Oh, my God, Birdie, your article!
The traffic has gone bananas.
So many Facebook reshares.
Women, men too: they're
all warning each other.
I got 60 emails this morning.
ELIZA: Phenomenal response, Birdie.
ABC Radio have been in touch
and they want to get you on the
show this morning to talk about Joe.
Oh, and we'll need a follow-up
for online this afternoon.
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)
No, I I did this to
be finished with him.
This is a good thing.
You've tapped into something big.
Birdie? Birdie, are you OK?
Yeah, I'm OK. I just need some air.
WOMAN: My Joe made me feel
WOMAN 2: My Joe's excuses
just don't make sense
WOMAN 3: My Joe has a lot going on.
WOMAN 4: My Joe turned up
right when I'd given up on
(INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING
'MY JOE' STORIES)
- My Joe never felt anything.
- He told me he loved me.
- My Joe
- My Joe
- My Joe never
- My Joe
- My Joe
- My Joe's
(VOICES REPEAT 'MY JOE')
VOICES: My Joe is a fake.
JOE: We all carry a weight.
Look, it's interesting. I mean
How can anyone really know
what someone else brings to the table?
Hm? How should I know that, you know,
I should have turned around and run?
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
New beginnings.
Eyes.