Family Ties (1982) s01e08 Episode Script

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la come on, Alex, I need to talk to you about this.
Forget it, Jennifer.
I don't want to discuss it with you.
Alex, you're my older brother.
I look to you for guidance.
All right.
What do you want to know? Who do you like in today's game, notre dame or usc? Well, I'd have to go with usc.
I don't know.
Usc is favored by 2 1/2.
I think I'd better go with notre dame.
Jennifer, you always ask me what team I'd pick and then you go and bet the other side.
I know.
Works every time.
What are you doing here, mom? Nothing, Mallory.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Bean sprouts in the stuffing.
What are you guys, the vegetable patrol? Mom, this is Thanksgiving, not Chinese new year.
I just want to try something a little different this year.
That's all.
This is a traditional American holiday.
How is Jennifer supposed to know what Thanksgiving's all about if you insist on serving foreign food? I know what Thanksgiving's all about, Alex.
It's when the Indians and the pilgrims ate together and the Indians got stuck with the check.
That's not how it happened at all, Jennifer.
You have to understand that civilization marches forward, and it marches better on paved roads.
The Indians had the land first, Alex.
Yeah, but they weren't using it.
They were just roaming around, cooking outdoors, wearing beads, living in tents Just like mom and dad used to.
Alex, the fact is, we stole that land from the Indians.
What do you want us to do now, mom, give it back? Yeah, starting with your room.
Ah, look at these, Elyse! I found them in the attic.
I figure we can use some of them today.
This is so embarrassing.
I can't believe you two are gonna go out there and make fools of yourselves this afternoon.
We're going out to demonstrate against nuclear arms.
There's nothing foolish about that.
I don't think this is very useful now.
It wasn't that useful then.
Mcgovern, muskie, McCarthy.
You guys really knew how to pick the winners, didn't you? Maybe that's where you get it from, Alex.
Aren't you going to feel ridiculous? You're going to be the oldest ones by 50 years.
That's okay, Mallory.
They can take our pulse every half hour.
It's a shame you kids don't realize the importance of this issue.
Now, we're not talking about repainting the fire hydrants.
We're talking about the future of mankind.
The question you kids should be asking is, why we continue to make hydrogen bombs when we already have enough to kill the Russians Don't be so melodramatic, mom.
From the beginning of time there's been weapons, and there's always been a fringe element who've overreacted.
I mean, I'm sure that even in the early days there were bleeding-heart cavemen running around with signs that said, "make love not clubs.
" Alex, are you actually in favor of nuclear weapons? I'm in favor of us having them, not using them.
Why do we have them if we're not gonna use them? That's a dumb question, Jennifer.
It's called a deterrent force.
Do both sides have a "detergent" force? "Deterrent" force, Jennifer.
It means that the more weapons both sides have, the less chance that either side will have to use them.
Why can't both sides just have no bombs? It's too late.
We already paid for 'em.
Well, your father and I don't think it's too late.
Neither do a lot of other people.
They expect a very big crowd out there today.
Come on, admit it You two are just going out there because it makes you feel young and alive again.
Uh, no, uh, we're going out there so that someday you can feel old and alive.
Daddy I want you to know that I'm behind what you and mommy are doing 100%.
Well, thank you, Jennifer.
I'm very happy to hear that.
If I didn't have to supervise the cooking, I'd go with you.
Grandma and grandpa will be here, and grandma will do all the cooking.
That's what I'm talking about.
Grandma is an excellent cook.
An excellent cook? Mom, I'm using one of last year's biscuits as a doorstop.
What does "flower power" mean? Oh, it was a symbol of that twisted era.
You know, love, flowers, peace.
Gives me the creeps.
Jennifer, don't listen to him! Flower power was another way of telling people to put down their weapons and to give each other flowers and love instead.
For a while, all the girls were wearing flowers in their hair.
Did you, mommy? Mm-hmm, until your dad made me stop.
Didn't he like flower power? Well, yes, but he had hay fever.
It was a very difficult period for him.
Mallory: Oh, they're here! Happy Thanksgiving! Oh, let me take it.
Why don't you guys sit down? I'll put some water on for tea.
Kate, you didn't have to bring your own dishes.
Those are biscuits.
I think they came out a little lighter this year.
She baked them last night so, uh, she could have more time for the pies today.
Uh, grandma, you're baking pies? Uh-huh.
Oh, boy.
Um, I don't know if our oven's working.
Jennifer, the oven's fine.
Mom, we're really pleased to see you, but we didn't expect you here so soon.
Well, we wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.
Also, our TV's broken, and grandpa wants to see the game.
Who do you pick this game, gramp? Aw, are you kidding? Uh, notre dame.
Uh, 2 1/2 points It's a steal.
All right.
See, Alex? We would have been here earlier, but we got held up in traffic.
There's some kind of dumb demonstration starting up downtown.
What kind of idiots would demonstrate on Thanksgiving? Just your everyday run-of-the-mill ones.
Actually, dad, Steven and I are planning on going to that demonstration.
Ohhhh You almost had me going, there.
Yeah, for a minute I believed you.
Well, it's true, dad, we're going.
Aah.
What's the issue this week? Uh, the, the Chad-Sudan border dispute? Uh, more fluoride in the water.
Uh, more fluoride in the toothpaste.
Nuclear disarmament.
Oh, here we go again.
Oh, look, Kate, they've even got the old signs out.
Charlie, don't get yourself all worked up.
You know, by going out there, you two are giving aid and comfort to the enemy.
Yeah, the, uh, kremlin called us this morning, and they specifically asked us to be there on time, so if you don't mind Wait, aren't you two ever gonna learn? Uh, we're not the ones who are escalating the arms race.
It's the Soviets.
We're just trying to keep up.
What it all boils down to, Charlie, is that the innocent people of the world are being held hostage by the political disputes between the superpowers.
Well, it's always been that way, Steven.
Yes, but we haven't always had weapons capable of wiping out civilization in one fell swoop.
Charlie, one of these governments has got to be the first to start acting rationally.
Well, it's not gonna be us.
Now, listen, Charlie Steven, dad, dad, look, look, this this is Thanksgiving day.
Let's not argue.
Look, Steven and I will be gone for a couple of hours.
Then we'll be back, and we'll have a nice meal together.
This is a happy occasion, right? You're right.
I'm I'm sorry.
Ahh.
That's more like it.
You two want to go off and demonstrate, I guess that's your business.
Kate, we'll see you later.
Kids, I want some of that cranberry sauce.
Dad, do you want to take any of grandma's biscuits with you? No, thank you.
We've already got some sandwiches.
Not to eat To play frisbee with.
What's the score of the football game, grandpa? He fell asleep a few minutes ago.
So what's the score of the game? I don't know.
As soon as he dozed off, I switched the channel.
A soap opera? How can you watch that junk? It's demented.
It's depraved.
Who's she? That's belinda.
Is that guy her husband? Which guy? The guy in the strapless gown.
No, that's the plumber.
Her husband hasn't been around since he lost his job.
He had a nervous breakdown, moved to union city, and now he gives sewing lessons.
Everything's under control in the kitchen.
I'm keeping grandma away from the stove.
Good going.
I've got her doing some busywork.
You know, organizing the potholders and folding and unfolding the paper bags.
That's nice.
Wha Alex, I'm surprised at you! How could you watch this stuff? I'm simply monitoring what you kids are watching, Jennifer.
I have no interest in this trash.
Me neither.
Is that plumber back again? Yeah.
That's him over there next to belinda.
Nice gown.
You know, we'd better put the game back on.
I mean, if grandpa wakes up and sees us watching this, we're gonna be in trouble.
Don't be silly.
You can't get in trouble with grandparents.
All you have to do is kiss them when they come in the door, tell 'em you miss 'em, let 'em buy you stuff You're okay.
You're a sentimental guy, Alex.
You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have parents like them instead of mom and dad.
You know, you can bet they wouldn't be out at that demonstration today.
Yeah, they wouldn't kiss in front of us all the time like a couple of adolescents.
Yeah, and mom would give up her career and all those silly women's groups.
You're losing me fast, Alex.
I made some sandwiches to tide you over till dinner.
Who wants one? Grandma, thank you.
Uh, but, uh, we don't want to spoil our appetites.
Oh, don't be silly.
We won't be eating for hours.
We know that, but your food is so, so special, we don't want to rush into it.
Oh, you're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
Well, didn't take him long to conk out.
What are you kids watching? Oh, it's a A documentary.
Is that plumber back again? He just never gives up.
Ah, did I miss anything? What's the, uh, score of the game? Uh, Charlie, can I fix you something to eat? No! Uh, I mean, uh, no, thank you.
I-I don't want to spoil my appetite.
Come on, ref! That's clipping! Give me a break, here! Man: And here's a news update on a fast-breaking story.
Trouble broke out this afternoon at the blackstone nuclear research laboratory That's mom and dad! Clashed with the police.
Nobody knows exactly who started it, but it looks like a lot of people are gonna spend this Thanksgiving in jail.
Uh, y-you're not actually gonna lock the door on us, are you? Well, I was seriously considering it.
L-look, technically, I know we are prisoners, and you are the guard, but is this really necessary? I mean, it seems a little excessive.
Humor me.
Uh, when can we get out on bail? The judge has to set bail.
And if he has to come in on Thanksgiving to do it, he ain't gonna be in a real generous mood.
You mean we might have to spend the night in jail? Unless the judge goes out of town.
Then you'll have to spend the weekend in jail.
Thanks for being so sensitive.
I can't believe this.
I-I've never been arrested before.
I don't know what to do, what to say.
Am I dressed all right? Perfectly.
It's as if when you put on those clothes, you knew you'd end up in jail.
Look, look I think we should get organized here, huh? You're right.
We need a spokesperson.
Has anyone here ever been arrested before? I have.
I have.
We're together.
Did you meet in jail? Steven: No.
No, no, we were arrested in Washington, D.
C.
, at the big peace rally.
I was arrested in Washington, too.
Uh, for protesting the war? No, for armed robbery.
Hey, come on now, give me a break.
I did my time.
I'm over with that now Sort of.
What do you mean, "sort of"? Well, I got arrested at the demonstration today.
Well, we all did.
I got arrested for pickpocketing.
Now, all all right, all right, right, look.
No matter what our, uh, different backgrounds may be, uh, we are in this together.
Now, um II think what's obviously on everybody's mind is, how do we get out of here? Uh, anyone have any ideas? Oh Yeah, yeah.
I say we tie all the sheets together, hang them out the window, and go over the wall.
We don't have any sheets.
We don't have any windows.
Other than that, it was a great idea.
Mom, dad, are you okay?! Alex! Alex! Alex, how are you? I'm fine.
Hi, dad.
Hello, Charlie.
Well, this sure brings back memories.
I thought I was through bailing you guys out.
Nobody here wants to be bailed out by you, Charlie.
I got a party of two over here.
How are Jennifer and Mallory? Everybody's okay, mom.
Don't worry.
How'd you know we were here? You were on the news.
Uh, listen, we have good news.
They're handing these out to everyone who was arrested at the demonstration.
The judge drew it up.
All you have to do is sign it and you can come home.
"As a condition of bail, I, the undersigned, "do hereby pledge never again to take part "in any form of protest against nuclear arms.
Furthermore, I will sign a public statement" That's blackmail! Uh, could you pass one of those over here, please? What do you think? I don't think we should sign it, Elyse.
There's a principle at stake here.
Hey, but wait a minute.
We're not talking about a weekend in Hawaii, here.
This is jail! You're surrounded by hardened criminals, societal misfits, vermin! Uh, no offense.
None taken.
Alex, this is illegal.
They're asking us to sign away a basic constitutional right The right to dissent.
Mom, it's just a piece of paper.
They can't change how you feel.
Oh.
They can change how I feel about myself.
And if I sign this paper, I have a hunch I won't feel very good.
Ah, now, look, you've got other people to think about besides yourselves.
Yeah, and in case you've forgotten their names, they're Alex, Mallory, and Jennifer.
I am thinking of you.
I want you to know your father is a man who stands up for what he believes.
Dad, I'll take your word for it.
I'm easy.
Just come home.
Well, what do you think Should we sign it or shouldn't we? Well, I think it's pretty obvious, don't you? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right! Good! Goodbye.
I'm with her! Nice try.
I'm sorry Alex.
I can't.
Mom Alex, I want to come home more than anything in the world, but I won't sign this.
Please try to understand.
If you'd rather stay here, fine.
Come on, Alex.
Let's go.
Dad, Alex Alex, come on.
Try to understand our point here, Alex.
You know what's wrong with parents today? They still think they can change the world.
They're back! Where's mom and dad? Why didn't you bring them home? Let me tell you two something about your parents.
They're stubborn, they're childish They're making me old before my time.
They must be okay if they had time to fight with Alex.
You couldn't bail them out? Of course we could bail them out.
They wouldn't let us.
So they're staying in jail.
I don't understand this.
Why would they choose to stay in jail? Well, they wouldn't sign the paper.
What paper? It was nothing Just an apology, that's all.
That's all? Oh, and something about never demonstrating again Routine stuff.
Routine stuff? Sounds more like blackmail.
Grandpa, I'm surprised at you.
Can't you control your own daughter? Nope.
Never could, either.
Our parents can't control their daughters, either.
I guess you have a lot in common.
I thought it's supposed to get easier as your kids get older.
I thought it was supposed to get easier as your parents got older.
Why were they out there demonstrating in the first place? Today's Thanksgiving! It's a day for tranquility, for for Harmony, for peace! Isn't that what they were demonstrating for? What about peace and Harmony in the home? Don't you think they'd rather be here with us than in jail? Then why aren't they here? Because they very firmly believe that nuclear arms are threatening the world's future.
Why don't they let other people worry about that stuff? Because they care.
They have to care in public? They do everything else in public.
Why go to jail over something like this? Nobody is insane enough to use nuclear weapons, not when they know the enemy has them, too.
What if the people in charge of the bomb aren't as smart as you, Alex? I still can't believe they could do this to us.
I mean, how could they be so selfish? Wait a minute.
What are they doing to us? They're not the ones who are being selfish.
We're here in a nice house, surrounded by people we love.
They're in a jail cell because of something they believe in.
I think it takes a lot of guts to do what they're doing.
Well, so do I.
And I'll tell you something else.
I wish I'd had the guts to go out there and demonstrate with them today, instead of staying here and cooking.
We all do, dear.
Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I am going to have Thanksgiving dinner with my daughter and my son-in-law.
I'm having dinner with her daughter and her son-in-law, too.
Anybody else? You know, this place could use some redecorating.
First thing I'd do is take out those bars.
Yeah, it wouldn't take much Just a few green plants.
Maybe a throw rug right there.
Some end tables.
Fall in for grub! Why do I suspect we'll be disappointed with this meal? Come on, honey.
Let's go.
Uh, don't we get something special for Thanksgiving? Yeah.
This is it.
Yellow water, with green stuff floating in it? You're lucky.
Most days you don't get the green stuff.
Well, have a happy, safe Thanksgiving.
That man needs to get outdoors more often.
Steven, do you think we did the right thing? I did until they brought us this.
The kids are mad at us, and dad's mad at us.
I'm not mad at you.
That's quite a consolation.
Anybody here interested in a home-cooked meal? You don't know how wonderful it is to see you guys! What a great surprise! Without you two at home, it just didn't seem like a holiday.
Well, we haven't been exactly whooping it up in here, either.
I brought you this flower for your hair, mommy.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
I missed you.
Not half as much as we missed you.
Uh, where are the others? Oh, well, uh, uh, oh, um, well, it was hard to get everyone in the car, what with all the food and all.
They didn't want to come, huh? If you're still here at Christmas, maybe Alex will drop in.
Well, I've got a lot of food I cooked up here, so let's get to it.
Okay.
Uh, there's plenty for everyone if you'd like a little taste! Are you Kate? Yes.
No, thanks.
Well, we can't wait.
I think it's so sweet that you thought to bring food down to us.
Oh, I want to give you a hug! Yeah, come on, sweetheart.
Oh, uh Hey, wait a minute.
Let's do this right.
Come on.
I can't believe it! You two can't even control yourself in prison! Hey, you guys! Alex! Grandpa! I thought you weren't coming until the Cow jumped over the moon.
Aw, that's just a figure of speech, Jennifer.
It just didn't seem right, that's all.
I mean, a family's supposed to be together for Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I know.
We're sorry if we spoiled your Thanksgiving.
No, no, I think we're the ones who should do the apologizing.
There's something grandma said that made us realize this is something you both care very deeply about.
What did she say? This is something you both feel very deeply about.
You really have a way with words, grandma.
I just want you to know that I respect the fact that you're standing up for your beliefs, even if I don't agree with them.
Yeah, I think that goes for all of us.
Yeah yeah, a-all of us.
I mean, I, uh, I might not, uh, agree with everything you have to say, but what kind of an American would I be if I didn't support your right to say it? Thank you.
It means a lot to us.
One of the happiest days of my life.
Hey, that's my handkerchief.
Well, come on, let's eat.
Good idea! Mom, how did you get all that food in here? Well, let's just say, there isn't a guard in the joint who doesn't have one of my dumplings.
It's a plot.
They'll all get sick, and you can escape.
Let's save the sweet talk for later and eat.
I'm starving.
Hey, do you want me to, uh, file the bars or carve the Turkey? Or I could file the bars with the Turkey.
This is turning out to be a great Thanksgiving! Oh, we've got our health, we've got each other, we've got Turkey What else do we need? Mommy, can I say a Thanksgiving grace this year? Of course, sweetheart.
Thank you, god, for all the good things that you've done this year, and for keeping us well and happy.
I'm really sorry about that incident with Ron dorffman's lunchbox and the turtle, but we can discuss that later.
Most of all, I want to thank you for watching over mommy and daddy today and not letting them be hurt.
They're the best parents in the whole world Even if they are a couple of jailbirds.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Kate: Well