Freaks and Geeks s01e08 Episode Script

[ROCK INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING.]
I'VE BEEN RUN DOWN I'VE BEEN LIED TO DON'T KNOW WHY I LET THAT MEAN WOMAN MAKE ME A FOOL SHE TOOK ALL MY MONEY, YEAH WRECKED MY NEW CAR NOW SHE'S WITH ONE OF MY GOOD-TIME BUDDIES THEY'RE DRINKIN' IN SOME CROSSTOWN BAR SOMETIMES I FEEL SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DOWN HEY.
HEY.
I WAS JUST COMING TO LOOK FOR YOU.
WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
THANKS.
COME ON.
[LAUGHTER.]
HEY, GUYS.
HEY.
WHAT YOU GUYS DOIN'? NOTHING, I'M JUS HANGIN' OUT WITH LINDS.
SO ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, GOING OUT OR WHAT? HEY, COME ON.
I DON' KISS AND TELL.
Daniel: COOL, MAN.
THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH, NICK! GRAB ME A PIECE! SHUT UP, MAN.
GET OUTTA HERE.
[GIRL LAUGHS.]
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION LIVIN' IN THE PAST, IT'S A NEW GENERATION GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THAT'S WHA I'M GONNA DO AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION O H, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME WHAH! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION I'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF ANY DEVIATION AND I DON'T REALLY CARE YOU THINK I'M STRANGE I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE AND I'M NEVER GONNA CARE 'BOUT BAD REPUTATION NOT ME! YOU REMEMBER HOSE GUYS FROM THE BAND "DIMENSION"? THEY FOUND A DRUMMER.
AW, REALLY? YEAH.
I HEARD HE DROPPED HIS STICK SOLOING ONBLACK DOG.
YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT FIRST GIG.
I'M NOT JEALOUS.
I'M REALLY NOT.
I'M GLAD I BOMBED THE AUDITION, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IF I HADN'T THEN WE WOULDN' HAVE KISSED, HMM? [NERVOUS LAUGH.]
WELL, I SHOULD GO TO STUDY HALL.
I HAVE TO CRAM OK.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OH, GEE--OWW! OH, MAN.
COME HERE.
LINDSAY YOU JUST KISSED NICK! YEAH, SO? ARE YOU GOING OU WITH HIM? NOWELL WE HAVEN'T GONE ON A REAL DATE OR ANYTHING.
IT'S JUST THAT WELL, WE WERE HANGING OUT THE OTHER DAY, AND HE WAS KINDA DEPRESSED, AND WE KISSED.
IT'S NOT-- IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
WHAT? YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
YEAH, BUT TOMMY GOES TO CHURCH! NICK IS A FREAK! SO WHAT?! SO THIS FREAKS ONLY DATE FREAK GIRLS.
AND YOU'RE NO A FREAK GIRL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? 'CAUSE FREAKS GO ALL THE WAY.
MILLIE, YOU'VE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT ABOU PATTY FILKER? SHE'S A FREAK GIRL.
AND SHE HAS A BABY! BUT I GUESS THAT'S NO BIG DEAL EITHER.
MILLIE, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, OK? HURRY UP.
I DON'T WAN TO BE LATE FOR BIO.
WHY? WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? WELL, YESTERDAY I WAS LATE, AND EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME.
HI, SAM.
[LOCKER DOOR SLAMS.]
OH, HI, CINDY.
HOW ARE YOU? HO HO, HEY, MERV GRIFFIN! NICE INTERVIEW.
COME ON BACK, LINDSAY.
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? NO.
JUST CHECKIN' IN WITH MY GOOD FRIEND LINDSAY WEIR.
ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT? I GUESS NOT.
SO HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING? CLASSES KEEPING YOU INTERESTED? YEAH, SURE.
HEY, HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT THE NEW RUSH ALBUM? I'VE GOTTA SAY IT ROCKS PRETTY HEAVILY, AND THAT'S COMIN' FROM A GUY WHO'S SEEN HENDRIX LIVE.
YEAH, I--I HEARD IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
SO I UNDERSTAND YOU AND NICK ANDAPOLOUS ARE GETTIN' PRETTY TIGHT.
HOW'S THAT GOIN'? MR.
ROSSO, NICK AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS.
THAT'S ALL.
O NEED TO EXPLAINANYTHING TO ME.
I GOT IT ON IN A VAN AT WOODSTOCK, I'M NOT JUDGIN' ANYBODY.
WHAT YOU'RE GETTING I JUST WANYOU YOURSELF INTO.
I MEAN, WHEN YOU'RE A TEENAGER, YOUR EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH, AND IT'S EASY TO GET CONFUSED.
I WANT YOUTO HAVE THIS.
OH, MY GOD! COME ON! DON'T LE THE PAMPHLET FREAK YOU OUT.
THERE'S SOME GOOD STUFF IN THERE.
I-IT'S JUST THAT YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL THESE DAYS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I KNOW.
DO YOU? I THOUGHT I KNEW, TOO.
UNTIL ONE NIGH T, I WAS CHECKIN' OU THIS DISCOTHEQUE.
THE ONE AT THE BOWLING ALLEY ON 15 MILE.
I MET THIS GIRL.
SHE SEEMED REALLY NICE.
WE DANCED A BIT.
I KISSED HER.
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND NOW I GET SORES ON MY LIP ONCE A MONTH.
I HAVE HERPES.
IT DEVE YOU DON'T WANT IT! CAN I PLEASE GO NOW? I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND, DIDN'T I? NO! UH-UH.
NO, I JUST, UM I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR LUNCH.
OK, OK, JUST USE YOUR HEAD, LINDSAY.
THAT'S ALL I ASK.
YOU GOT IT.
MAN! THAT GORDON REEKS! YOU THINK HE EVER TAKES A SHOWER? Sam: MAYBE HE TAKES BATHS INSTEAD.
MY MOM SAYS THAT THEY DON'T REALLY GET YOU CLEAN.
YEAH, YOU JUST SI IN YOUR OWN FILTH.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SETTLE DOWN.
WE'VE GO A LOT TO DO TODAY.
WE'RE GOING TO BE DISSECTING KITTENS.
[STUDENTS GASP.]
JUST TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
BUT YOU WILL BE GETTING YOUR LAB PARTNERS TODAY.
Teacher: UH, McKENNA? I HOPE I GET TO BE PAIRED UP WITH CINDY.
HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME? PLEASE LET IT BE CINDY.
WEIR? YOUR LAB PARTNER WILL BE GORDON CRISP.
BILL, YOUR PARTNER WILL BE CINDY SANDERS.
OH, HOW INTERESTING.
ME AND CINDY, YOU AND GORDON.
WELL, I BETTER-- I BETTER GO SIT NEX TO MY LAB PARTNER.
WELL, THERE GOES CINDY'S GRADE POINT AVERAGE.
Teacher: BOB CARR.
SISKIN, YOU'LL BE WORKING-- EXCUSE ME, MADAM.
MAY I TAKE THIS SEAT? SURE, HAVE A SEAT.
Teacher: ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, LET'S GO.
FIND YOUR LAB PARTNER.
REMEMBER, SCIENCE WAITS OH, MAN! FOR NO MAN.
LINDSAY? I THINK IT'S REALLY GREAT THAT YOU AND NICK ARE GOIN' OUT.
YEAH.
ME, TOO.
NO, I MEAN IT.
HE'S A GREAT GUY.
I GIVE HIM A HARD TIME, BUT YOU KNOW HE'S THE MAN! I JUST THINK IT'S REALLY GREAT YOU GUYS ARE GOIN' OUT.
HE'S A REALLY GREAT GUY.
YEAH.
I KNOW.
[WHISPERING.]
Nick's a stud you know? I mean, he may not seem like it, but he is.
MR.
DIZARIO, DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO? RIGHT, BUT I THOUGH WE WERE GOING TO DO THA AFTER CLASS, MISS YEATS.
HA HA.
BE STILL, MY BEATING HEART.
[WHISPERING.]
I like that dress.
HOW COME YOU'RE NOT EATING? UGH, THIS TUNA SALAD SMELLS LIKE GORDON.
YEAH, CINDY SMELLS, TOO.
LIKE FLOWERS.
[LAUGHS.]
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME? I--I--I DON'T KNOW.
HER TONGUE WAS IN MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME.
[LAUGHS.]
SHUT UP! OWW! NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET CINDY TO COME AND KISS IT AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER.
Sam: YOU GUYS ARE JERKS! OHH! HI, CINDY.
HI, SAM.
HEY, NATE.
IT'S NEAL-- OK, SO, BILL, I S THINKING, WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET STARTED ON OUR LAB ASSIGNMENT.
I HAVE CHEERLEADING PRACTICE AT 3:00, FRENCH CLUB AT 3:45, BUT DO YOU THINK YOU COULD COME OVER AT, LIKE 4:30? [CLEARS THROAT.]
TO YOUR HOUSE? MM-HMM.
I THINK--I THINK I COULD SQUEEZE YOU IN.
GREAT! I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
BYE, SAM.
CINDY'S HOUSE.
4:30.
SHOULD I WEAR HAI KARATE OR OLD SPICE? DEFINITELY OLD SPICE.
AH, CHECK IT OUT.
DONKEY BASKETBALL SATURDAY.
I LOVE THOSE THINGS.
I THINK THEY'RE MEAN.
OH, YEAH, LIKE THE DONKEYS REALLY GIVE A CARE.
WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BIG FA TEACHER SITTING ON YOUR BACK WHILE YOU HAD TO RUN AROUND A GYM? YEAH, HOW DID YOUR DATE WITH FREDRICKS GO? OOH! [BELL RINGS.]
YOU WANT TO HANG OU FRIDAY NIGHT? UM, YEAH.
YEAH? COOL! BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE ELEPHANT MAN? HMM? THE MOVIE.
OH, OHH! THE GUY WITH-- THE DEFORMED GUY.
YEAH.
NO, UH-UH, WHY? WELL, I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD GO SEE IT.
COME ON, PEOPLE, THE BELL HAS RUNG.
QUIT YOUR DILLY-DALLYING AND GET TO CLASS! LORD AND LADY SKIPS-A-LOT, COME ON, LET'S GO! YES, MA'AM-- I MEAN, SIR.
[LAUGHTER.]
I WAS ACTUALLY--OHH-- I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING, UM WE COULD HANG OU AT MY HOUSE FRIDAY NIGHT.
MY PARENTS ARE GOING OU AND MY BROTHERS AREN' GOING TO BE AROUND.
AND SO, I THOUGHT, UM I THOUGHT WE COULD JUS HANG OUT OR SOMETHING-- COME ON! COME ON, GET THE LEAD OUT.
LET'S GO! SO FRIDAY NIGH AT MY HOUSE? UHH HEY! YEAH.
ROMEO AND JULIET.
COME ON.
LAST ONE IN CLASS, FIRST ONE ON WELFARE.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
I LIKE YOUR ROOM, SAM.
OH, THANKS.
OH, WHOA! COOL SHEETS! [IMITATES OBI WAN.]
"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.
" [FORCED LAUGH.]
[BED SPRINGS CREAK.]
ALL RIGHT OK, LET'S SEE HERE.
I ALREADY STARTED ON THE PLANT CELL DIAGRAM.
IT'S THE ANIMAL STUFF THAT'S TRICKY.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I COULDN' TELL WHAT WAS GOING ON UNDER THAT MICROSCOPE.
COULD I BORROW YOUR PENCIL? OH, YEAH.
OK, YEAH, SURE.
THERE YOU GO.
HERE YOU GO.
THANKS.
THANKS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, SAM? OH, NOTHING! NOTHING.
I KNOW WHAT'S BUGGING YOU.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE LAB PARTNERS WITH ME.
WELL YOU WANTED TO BE WITH CINDY SANDERS.
YEAH--YEAH! HOW DID YOU KNOW? IT'S OBVIOUS YOU LIKE HER.
IT IS? HEY, DO YOU THINK SHE LIKES ME? I DON'T KNOW.
CHEERLEADERS ARE HARD TO READ THAT WAY.
UH YOU AND CINDY WOULD MAKE A GOOD COUPLE, AND SHE'S POPULAR AND EVERYTHING, BUTSHE NEEDS SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
YOU'D BE GOOD FOR HER.
REALLY? Cindy: THANKS, MOM.
I'M SO BAD.
I CAN' DO MY HOMEWORK WITHOUT HAVING A SNACK FIRST.
DO YOU HAVE CHIPS OR COOKIES? NO, I'M SORRY.
MY PARENTS DON' LET US EAT JUNK FOOD.
[HUMS.]
DO YOU WANT TO WATCH TV? WELCOME BACK, KOTTER IS ON.
[IMITATES HORSHACK'S LAUGH.]
ARE YOU OK? THAT'S HORSHACK FROM THE SHOW.
OH.
WELL, I'VE NEVER REALLY SEEN IT BEFORE, SO-- WHAT?! WELL, I DON' REALLY WATCH TV.
EXCEPT FOR THE MUPPET SHOW.
[HUMS.]
I'M SORRY, I'VE BEEN HOGGING THESE.
[CRUNCHES.]
[CRUNCHES.]
DID YOU WAN SOMETHING TO DRINK? MM-HMM.
OK, I'LL GO GE SOME LEMONADE.
[FART-LIKE SOUND.]
THIS STUPID CHAIR ALWAYS DOES THAT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[NO SOUND.]
[NO SOUND.]
THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
FIND OUT HER SCHEDULE AND MEMORIZE IT.
THAT WAY, YOU CAN BUMP INTO HER AND SAY HI.
COMPLIMENT HER HAIR, AND THE NEXT TIME YOU RUN INTO HER, SAY, "HEY, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR?" PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL H YOU'LL HAVE TONS OFSTUFF TO TALK ABOUT.
GOOD IDEA.
AND JOIN ALL HER AFTER-SCHOOL CLUBS.
A--YOU'LL GE TO SEE HER MORE.
B--YOU'LL GET TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HER INTERESTS, AND PRETEND THEY'RE YOUR INTERESTS, TOO.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
AND C-- VERY IMPORTANT.
YOU CAN MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT FALLING IN LOVE WITH ANYONE ELSE, LIKE YOUR FRIEND BILL.
YOU THINK CINDY'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH BILL?! I DON'T KNOW.
BEING LAB PARTNERS IS LIKE GETTING STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.
HEY, MAN, I HEARD KIM GO AN "A" ON HER WORLD CIV TEST.
THAT'S GREAT.
HUH? OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND.
OH, THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
AH, YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? OH, MAN.
LINDSAY GOT DETENTION.
FOR FLIPPING OFF HER GYM TEACHER.
OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
OHH! I HEARD KIM PUNCHED YOU IN THE CHES REALLY HARD.
OH, WHOOPS.
THAT WAS ME! OHH! AAH! THAT WAS REALLY HARD.
I'M TELLING YOU, SHE'S ABNORMAL.
SHE EATS CARROT STICKS, AND SHE LIKES MISS PIGGY.
SO WHAT? THE MUPPETS ARE COOL.
YEAH, SWEDISH CHEF IS KINDA COOL, BUT MISS PIGGY'S LAME.
LOOK, PROFESSOR HONEYWELL IS HYSTERICAL.
CINDY IS NOT ABNORMAL.
YEAH? SHE CU THE CHEESE.
OOH, MY GOD! THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I HEARD IT, MAN.
I SWEAR.
SHE BLAMED I ON THE CHAIR, BUT SHE CUT THE CHEESE.
WELL, SOME CHAIRS MAKE WEIRD NOISES! WHAT KIND OF A CHAIR WAS IT? I DON'T KNOW.
VINYL? WELL, VINYL CHAIRS ALWAYS SQUEAK.
IT WASN'T A SQUEAK.
IT WAS THE SOUND OF CHEESE BEING CUT.
[GIGGLES.]
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK YOU'RE MAKING ALL OF THIS UP BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO STOP LIKING HER BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER NOW.
WHAT?! Cindy: BILL? HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S UP? OH, HI, CINDY.
YOU CHANGED YOUR HAIR.
IT JUST LOOKS REALLY FLAT TODAY.
OH, BILL, I WANTED TO TELL YOU.
I HAVE A YEARBOOK MEETING AFTER SCHOOL, BUT WE CAN WORK ON OUR LAB ASSIGNMEN AFTERWARDS.
OH, I CAN'T WAIT.
MAYBE THIS TIME, YOU CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE.
Cindy: OK.
OH, AND BY THE WAY, I FI LLY GOT TO SEE WELCOME BACK, KOTTER.
YOU WERE RIGHT.
MR.
WOODMAN IS SO FUNNY.
YEAH, I'M TELLIN' YA, THAT GUY IS TOTALLY UNDERRATED.
[LAUGHS.]
LINDSAY, IT'S A TEST, NOT A RACE.
AND IF IT WERE A RACE, MILLIE ALREADY BEAT YOU.
[WHISPERING.]
Millie? Millie? I need to talk to you.
Why? I just do.
Yes.
REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO LOVE LEIF GARRET AND WE USED TO TAKE MY DYNAMITEMAGAZINES OU AND KISS HIS PICTURE? YEAH.
AND WE WENT TO SEE HIM AT THE STATE FAIR AND CUT ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONT ROW.
IT TURNED OUT TO BE JACK ALBERTSON FROM CHICO AND THE MAN.
OH, YEAH.
THAT KINDA SUCKED.
IT WASN'T SO BAD.
IT WAS KINDA FUNNY.
MILLIE, I'M JUS SAYING THAT WE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING A BOYFRIEND, AND I THINK I FINALLY HAVE A BOYFRIEND, AND--AND I THINK HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX.
YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH NICK.
ONCE YOU DO, YOU'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
PLUS NO ONE WOULD WANT TO MARRY YOU.
WHY SHOULD THEY BUY THE COW WHEN THEY CAN GE THE MILK FOR FREE? SOME OF YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE THAT, I HAVE AFTER SEVERAL COMPLAINTS, ELIMINATED "DISCO DAYS" FROM THE RUNNING.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Teacher: WHO'S GOT PHOTOGRAPHS? HEY, CINDY.
Teacher: OK.
HEY, SAM.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ON YEARBOOK.
DID YOU JUST JOIN? UHYEAH.
I WANT TO BECOME MORE INVOLVED IN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES.
THAT'S COOL.
ANY ARTICLE IDEAS? CINDY? UH, IT'S CALLED "DIARY OF A McKINLEY STUDENT.
" IT DESCRIBES A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT'S EXPERIENCE.
GO AHEAD.
READ IT.
"SEPTEMBER 3, 1980.
"FRESHMAN YEAR.
"DEAR DIARY, "HIGH SCHOOL.
SO CAVERNOUS.
"COLD, UNINVITING.
"STARTING OVER.
NO IDENTITY.
"EVERYONE LOOKING, EVERYONE JUDGING.
[SNICKERS.]
"THEIR EYES PIERCE MY SOUL.
"AIMLESS YOUTH, ALL TRAPPED TOGETHER, "BUT NO ONE CONNECTING.
"EDUCATION OR ISOLATION? CLASS DISMISSED.
" Mainzer: OK.
THANK YOU, SYLVIA PLATH.
UHIT'S IT'S A LITTLE DARK.
WE WAN TO SELL YEARBOOKS, NOT TELL THE TRUTH.
OK.
IT WAS JUST AN IDEA.
OK.
THE NEXT THING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IS AD SALES.
[STUDENTS GROAN.]
YES, I KNOW.
IT'S NO FUN.
IT'S NOT CREATIVE, BUT IF WE DON' SELL THE REST OF THIS AD SPACE BY TOMORROW, WE WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR PRINTING.
HERE'S A LIS OF THE LOCAL MERCHANTS UM.
.
WE HAVEN'T HIT YET.
.
MY DAD OWNS A-1 SPORTING GOODS.
GREAT! YOU CAN STAR WITH HIS STORE.
WHY DON'T YOU PAIR UP WITH CINDY? SURE.
MR.
STOKER, YOU PAIR UP WITH CARL.
CAN YO U BELIEVE WE HAVE TO SELL YEARBOOK ADS? YEAH.
THAT REALLY SUCKS.
Mrs.
Weir: HEY, LINDSAY.
I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.
WHAT? WHAT'S UP?SO MEBODY LIKES YOU, THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND.
WHAT'S HIS NAME? WHAT'S HE LIKE? I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING, REALLY.
[LAUGHS.]
HE'S JUST A FRIEND.
A FRIEND? DO I KNOW HIM? WELL, OPEN THE CARD.
MOM! WHAT? WHAT? SWEETIE? "W-A-T-E.
" [LAUGHS.]
MY DAD'S STORE IS RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK.
YEAH? ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY LIKED WHAT YOU WROTE FOR THE YEARBOOK.
I THINK IT WAS REALLY COOL.
MR.
MAINZER DOESN'T KNOW WHA HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
THANKS.
AND YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
BEING A FRESHMAN STINKS.
I KNOW, IT'S LIKE EVERYONE PIGEONHOLES YOU AND EXPECTS YOU TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY.
IT'S LIKE IF YOU'RE A CHEERLEADER, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD ALL THE TIME.
YEAH, THA MUST BE TOUGH.
I KNOW! IT'S LIKE THERE ARE SOME DAYS WHEN I'M JUST FEELING A LITTLE BIT CRANKY.
LIKE TODAY.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD.
SO WHAT? DEAL WITH IT.
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, MIKE.
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THAT BOMB SHELTER.
[BELL ON DOOR RINGS.]
Mr.
Weir: SAM?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HELP ME OU TODAY.
OH, YEAH, I WAS AT A YEARBOOK MEETING.
[BELL RINGS.]
YEARBOOK? WHEN THE HECK DID YOU JOIN THAT? UH, TODAY.
THIS IS MY FRIEND CINDY.
HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HELLO.
UH, LOOK, SAM.
NOW, LOOK, YOU GOTTA PUT IN YOUR TIME.
I'M TRYING TO TEACH YOU A WORK ETHIC HERE.
NOW, IF YOU WAN TO BUY THOSE CRAZY MICRONAUT THINGS, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EARN THE MONEY.
OH, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, WHO MIXED UP THE BALLS? UM, YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE STORE, MR.
WEIR.
DAVE, BRING UP THOSE BOXES UP THERE.
UH, DAD, CINDY AND I-- WELL, WE'RE SELLING YEARBOOK ADS.
AND 1/8 OF A PAGE IS $25.
DO YOU WANT TO BUY ONE? 1/8 FOR $25?! SAM, THAT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I CAN GET A FULL PAGE IN A SUNDAY PAPER FOR A HUNDRED.
BUT THIS IS REALLY IMPORTAN THAT CINDY AND I SELL THESE.
[BELL ON DOOR CHIMES.]
OH, WELL, TELL YOU WHAT.
GIVE ME A FULL PAGE.
WOW! THANK YOU, MR.
WEIR.
NO PROBLEM.
SAM IS MY BES SALESMAN, YOU KNOW? REALLY? OK, SO WE'VE GO 16 MORE ADS TO SELL, AND I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE BIG STORES FIRS YEAH, SINCE THEY'LL PROBABLY BUY MORE SPACE.
BU THE SMALL STORES CLOSE EARLIER, SO-- OH, WAIT A MINUTE NOW.
YOU'RE SQUANDERING YOUR MANPOWER.
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS SPLIT UP, AND, YOU KNOW, TAKE SEPARATE ROUTES.
THAT WAY YOU CAN COVER MORE GROUND.
Cindy: THANK YOU.
BUT THEN AGAIN SOME OF THE GREATES SALESMEN WORKED IN TEAMS.
YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD STICK TOGETHER.
YEAH, BUT WE'LL BOTH FINISH SOONER IF WE SPLIT UP, DON'T YOU THINK? YEAH, I GUESS SO.
THANK YOU, MR.
WEIR.
SEE YA, DAD.
SIR, DON'T OPEN THAT BAIT.
SO I SAW SAM'S YEARBOOK PARTNER AT THE STORE TODAY.
QUITE A CUTE LITTLE NUMBER.
HMM.
GOD, DAD! WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? SHE'S CUTE.
AM I SUPPOSED TO CALL HER "MS.
" OR SOMETHING? SEE, LINDS AY, SAM'S NOT AFRAID TO SHOW OFF HIS GIRLFRIEND.
MOM! WHAT'S EATING YOU? AH, JUST LINDSAY HAS A BOYFRIEND.
OH, MY GOD! WHAT?! WHO? [LAUGHS.]
SOMEONE SENT HER A RED ROSE.
HE MUST BE SOME KIND OF ROMEO.
YEAH, I'LL SAY HE IS.
WHO THE HELL IS THIS JOKER? HE'S JUST A FRIEND.
NOBODY WHO'S "JUST A FRIEND" SENDS A SINGLE ROSE.
I KNOW ALL ABOU SINGLE ROSES.
I SENT ONE TO YOUR MOTHER, AND I KNOW WHEN AND WHY I SENT IT.
LI Mrs.
Weir: HAROLD.
NDSAY, YOU CAN TELL US WHO IT IS, AND WE WON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, ALL RIGHT? Lindsay: OK.
OK, IT'S NICK.
NICK?! NICK? IT'S NOT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE BURN-OUTS.
NO! NICK? WAS HE THE ONE THA ATE ALL MY FRUIT ROLL-UPS? WELL, YOU SAID HE COULD HAVE THEM.
NO, I--I KNOW.
I WELL, YOU'D BETTER KNOW RIGHT NOW THAT YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE NO TAKING CAROF SOME "WEDLOCK" BABY, WHILE YOU'RE OFF GALLIVANTING AT COLLEGE.
DAD! I'M WARNING YOU,I LINDSAY.
ABSOLUTELY FORBID YOU FROM SEEING THIS BOY.
WELL, AT LEAS SHE DIDN'T YELL.
HONEY.
SEE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A DAUGHTER AND WAN TO PROTECT HER.
WELL, I MEAN, YOU WILL SOMEDAY.
WE'D LIKE THAT DAY TO BE A LONG TIME FROM NOW.
WE JUST WANT TO BE SURE THAT THIS BOY RESPECTS YOU, HONEY.
NOT ALL OF THEM DO.
TRUST ME.
I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LIKE.
I WAS ONE OF THEM.
UGH! HE WAS.
I KNOW.
YOU FIND I HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT I DID SOME STUPID THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
HONEY.
TELL HER ABOUT KOREA.
KO REA.
WELL, ONE DAY I, UH, WENT INTO SEOUL ON A WEEKEND PASS AND WENT TO THIS BAR AND I HAD A FEW TOO MANY.
AND I FOLLOWED A COUPLE OF MY BUDDIES TO THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT.
YOUR FATHER'S FIRST TIME WASN'T SPECIAL, AND HE'S ALWAYS REGRETTED IT.
IT WAS THE WORS $5.
00 I'VE EVER SPENT.
AND I WISH I COULD GE THAT $5.
00 BACK.
OHH, COME ON! PLEASE STOP! W-WHAT YOUR FATHER IS TRYING TO SAY IS THA YOUR VIRGINITY IS A GIFT.
HE'S TEARIN' YOU APAR OOH, EVERY, EVERY DAY HE'S TEARIN' YOU APAR OH, GIRL, WHAT CAN YOU SAY? 'CAUSE HE'S LOVIN' TOUCHIN' ANOTHER NOW IT'S YOUR TURN NOW TO CRY NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I GOTTA FIND MY SMOKES.
DID YOU TAKE 'EM? NO.
HEY, MAN, WE'RE GOIN' TO DES'S TONIGHT.
ARE YOU COMING? NO.
OH, HEY.
NO, ACTUALLY, I'M HANGIN' OUT WITH LINDS.
OHH, ALL RIGHT.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.
OH, TONIGHT'S THE NIIIGHT! OOH! CALL ME TOMORROW, LINDSAY.
I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS.
KEEP Daniel: SO DO I, LINDSAY.
YAWNIN' LIKE THAT, YOU'RE GONNA DISLOCATE YOUR JAW.
GUYS, WAIT UP.
HEY, SAM.
YOU KNOW WHAT CINDY SAID LAST NIGHT? WHAT? THAT SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU? THAT--THAT SHE THINKS YOU'RE SMART AND FUNNY AND YOU DON'T CARE IF SHE CUTS THE CHEESE? YOU KNOW WHAT, BILL? WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OUT WITH HER? WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER? I DON' CARE ANYMORE, OK? I DON'T CARE.
GOD! I WAS GONNA SAY SHE SAID SHE THOUGH YOU WERE THE NICEST GUY IN THE SCHOOL.
CINDY SAID THAT? YEAH.
NO, WAIT.
NO, SERIOUSLY.
YOU DON'T LIKE CINDY? NO.
MAN, I WAS JUS MESSIN' WITH YOU.
SAM, BILL'S BEEN IN LOVE WITH MELISSA KARPINSKI EVER SINCE HE STOOD BEHIND HER AT THE DAIRY QUEEN.
SHE WAS WEARING THIS HALTER TOP.
[GROANS.]
SHE IS ONE FOXY LADY.
SHE DOESN' CUT THE CHEESE.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
COME ON! EVERYBODY CUTS THE CHEESE.
ANYWAYS MELISSA KARPINSKI IS WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
SHE GOES OUT WITH, LIKE, THE BIG FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
OOH.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
I'M GOING TO FILL OUT SOON.
YOU KNOW MY COUSIN JEFF? HE WAS A SHRIMP UNTIL HE TURNED 16, AND THEN HE GOT ALL TALL AND MUSCULAR, IN, LIKE, A MONTH.
NOW HE LOOKS LIKE THE HULK.
YOU REALLY THINK I'LL FILL OUT? YEAH, NOT LIKE ME, THOUGH.
IN 3 YEARS, I'M GOING TO BE ENORMOUS.
OH, YEAH.
ME, TOO.
MY DAD IS 6'3".
HEY, LISTEN, YOU GUYS.
WHY DON'T WE GO SEE AIRPLANEAGAIN ON SATURDAY? SURELY YOU WILL.
OK.
DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY.
[LAUGHS.]
BILLY, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN NAKED? HEY, WHY DON'T WE GO ASK GORDON TO COME WITH US? BUT HE SMELLS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT HE'S REALLY COOL.
MAYBE HE DOESN' EVEN KNOW HE SMELLS.
ARE YOU GONNA TELL HIM? HEY, GORDON.
HEY.
UH, HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU-KNOW-WHO? DID YOU JOIN HER CLUBS? YEAH, YEAH.
AND WE GO TO HANG OUT.
UH, SORT OF.
COOL.
YOU KNOW, SHE SMELLS GREAT.
IT MUST BE HER SHAMPOO.
ORDEODORAN OR SOMETHING.
WHAT KIND OF DEODORAN DO YOU USE? I KNOW I SMELL, SAM.
W-W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I MAY BE SMELLY, BUT I'M NOT STUPID.
OK.
SO WHAT IS THAT? IT'S A MEDICAL CONDITION.
IT'S CALLED TRYPTOPHANURIA.
IT'S GENETIC.
WOW! IS THERE A CURE? NOT YET, BUT RESEARCH IS PROGRESSING.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE SMELLY THE RES OF YOUR LIFE? MM-HMM.
BUT I DON'T MIND.
NICE PEOPLE DON'T CARE, AND IT WEEDS OU THE JERKS.
MY MOM SAYS IT'S A GIFT.
COOL.
YOU KNOW UH, NEAL, BILL, AND I ARE GOING TO THE MOVIES SATURDAY NIGHT.
YOU WANT TO COME WITH US? OK.
I'LL TRY NOT TO STINK UP THE JOINT.
[SAM LAUGHS.]
JUST KIDDING.
YEAH, I KNOW.
Cindy: HEY, SAM.
SO HOW'D IT GO? DID YOU SELL ALL YOUR ADS? NO, NOT REALLY.
THAT'S OK.
NO ONE ELSE DID EXCEPT FOR ME.
SO I'M REALLY GLAD YOU JOINED THE YEARBOOK.
I HAD A LOT OF FUN YESTERDAY.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
SO ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER SCHOOL? WELL, IS THERE ANOTHER YEARBOOK MEETING? WELL, NO, I WAS JUS GOING TO GO TO SACKIE'S, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO COME.
DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR! STOP IT! YEAH, YEAH, I'LL COME.
DEFINITELY.
SURE.
GREAT.
[BELL RINGS.]
ALL RIGHT.
I BETTER GO SIT DOWN.
SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL.
SEE YA.
[IMITATES CINDY.]
SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL.
THANKS, SAM.
LOOK, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T NEED ANY MONEY? Y-YEAH, I'M FINE.
MMM, I LOVE BACON CHEESEBURGERS.
REALLY? I KINDA EXPECTED YOU TO LIKE, YOU KNOW, HEALTHY FOOD LIKE CARROTS.
IF I N E-YUCK! EVER SAW ANOTHER CARRO AGAIN, IT'D BE TOO SOON.
I MEAN, MY PARENTS NEVER TAKE US TO SACKIE'S.
THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO SNEAK HERE AFTER SCHOOL.
UHWANT SOME? SURE, THANKS.
[INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION.]
HE'S SMILING AND NODDING BECAUSE HE WANTS ME TO PASS HIM THE BALL.
SO I THROW IT TO HIM, AND HE DUCKS LIKE A GIRL.
[LAUGHTER.]
DO YOU KNOW TODD SCHELLINGER? YEAH.
WELL, NOT PERSONALLY.
BUT WHY? II DON'T KNOW.
HE'S KINDA CUTE, DON'T YOU THINK? DON'T YOU THINK? [UNEASY LAUGH.]
I--I GUESS.
OK, I'VE NEVER REALLY TOLD ANYONE THIS BEFORE.
BUT I HAVE, LIKE, THE HUGEST CRUSH ON HIM.
AT LAST WEEK'S GAME, HE ASKED MY FRIEND JOE FOR MY PHONE NUMBER.
DO YOU THINK THAT MEANS HE LIKES ME? HE--HE ASKED FOR YOUR PHONE NUMBER? WELL, YEAH, BUT I MEAN, HE NEVER CALLED.
AND EVERY TIME I SEE HIM, HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESN' EVEN KNOW I EXIST.
WELL, MAYBE HE'S JUST SHY.
YOU THINK? I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S, LIKE, I'M ALWAYS SO NERVOUS AROUND HIM.
I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
IT'S NO LIKE WITH YOU.
YOU'RE SO EASY TO TALK TO.
YOU'RE JUS LIKE MY SISTER.
THANKS.
MY GOD, DID HE JUST LOOK AT ME? DON'T LOOK.
Man on TV: GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! [TIRES SCREECHING.]
Man: OHH! HAVE A NICE TIME, HONEY.
DON'T STAY OU TOO LATE.
I WON'T.
BYE.
BYE.
Man on TV: WE NEED BACKUP.
SAM? HEY, SON.
YEAH? COME ON OVER HERE AND JOIN YOUR MOM AND DAD.
WHY? WHAT DID I DO? [LAUGHS.]
NOTHING, SILLY.
COME ON.
GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE.
Mrs.
Weir: "WHAT DID I DO?" Mr.
Weir: COME ON.
[LAUGHS.]
[POLICE SIRENS ON TV.]
UM I HAVE HOMEWORK.
YOU CAN DO I TOMORROW.
FAMILY TIME'S MORE IMPORTANT.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[CAR CRASHES.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
OH, HI! Y-YOU MUST HAVE BEEN RIGHT THERE.
PERFECT TIMING.
COME ON IN.
I HOPE YOU LIKE THE MOODY BLUES.
OH, YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY GREAT.
I KNOW, THEY'RE KIND OF WIMPY, BUT I THINK THIS SONG'S OK.
KNIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN NEVER REACHING THE END SOWHAT? WOW! WHOSE BASKETBALL TROPHIES? YEAH, THEY'RE MINE.
I ACTUALLY USED TO PLAY.
OHH.
WELL, WHY'D YOU QUIT? THEY FOUND A DIME BAG IN MY LOCKER, AND THEN THEY KICKED ME OFF THE TEAM.
AND THEN I JUST LOS INTEREST.
WITH THESE EYES BEFORE OH, YEAH.
NO, THAT ONE'S ACTUALLY FOR BOWLING.
JUST WHAT THE TRUTH IS I CAN'T SAY ANYMORE DO YOU WANT TO HANG OU DOWNSTAIRS FOR A WHILE? WHOA! UH YEAH.
GREAT.
YES, I LOVE YOU AH OH, HOW I LOVE YOU NICK, WHAT IS ALL THIS? COME HERE.
SIT DOWN.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
LINDSAY THIS SONG SAYS ALL THE THINGS THAT I HAVEN' BEEN ABLE TO SAY TO YOU.
IT'S A LITTLE CORNY.
BUT I MEAN IT.
LADY LADY WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME, I'M SMILING I'M SMILING.
GIVE ME GIVE ME [NICK AND RECORD.]
AH-AH-AH-ALL YOUR LOVE YOUR HANDS BUILD ME UP WHEN I'M SINKING TOUCH ME AND MY TROUBLES ALL FADE ALL FADE LADY YOU SEE, LINDSAY, FROM THE MOMEN I MET YOU NOTHING ABOUT YOU AND ME SHOULD NEVER BE RUSHED.
STANDING I MADE THAT MISTAKE BEFORE.
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT WITH YOU.
BECAUSE WE'VE GOT TIME.
WE GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.
AND YOU KNOW WHY? LIKE A CHILD WHO HAD GROWN [RECORD AND NICK.]
'CAUSE YOU'RE MY LADY YEAH OF THE MORNING LOVE SHINES IN YOUR EYES SPARKLING CLEAR AND LOVELY YOU'RE MY LADY YOU'RE MY LADY.
LADY TURN ME ON WHEN I'M LONELY SEE, LINDSAY, WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.
YOU WANT TO MAKE OU OR SOMETHING? NO.
ALL GUYS WANT TO MAKE OUT.
BUT I JUS WANT TO HOLD YOU.
SPARKLING CLEAR AND LOVELY YOU'RE MY LADY WHAT'S BETTER THAN THIS? HEY.
HEY.
CAN I HAVE THE DING DONG? SURE.
HOW WAS YOUR "DATE"? IT WAS OK.
MOM AN WHAT'D YOU DO? D DAD MADE ME WATCH TV WITH THEM ALL NIGHT.
THEY WERE WEIRD.
YEAH, WHAT ELSE IS NEW? SO--SO IS NICK, LIKE, YOUR BOYFRIEND NOW? I GUESS SO.
BUT--BUT HE LIKES YOU A LOT, RIGHT? OH, YEAH.
I--I WISH CINDY LIKED ME.
SHE LIKES YOU.
YEAH LIKE A FRIEND.
OOH.
THAT'S THE WORST.
I DON'T NEED ANOTHER FRIEND.
I ALREADY HAVE 2.
I MEAN, HOW MANY MORE FRIENDS DOES A GUY NEED? [BOTH LAUGH.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
[RING.]
HELLO? OH, HI, CINDY.
TODD CALLED? YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
HE SAID THAT? OHNO! NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT BUSY.
TELL ME WHAT ELSE HAPPENED.