FUBAR (2023) s01e08 Episode Script

1
You can't say you don't deserve
what's about to happen, Emma.
- Oh, you figured out my real name.
- I know your first name.
I know you play the violin,
and I know you die today.
Wait! Look, there's smoke.
There's fire on the other side,
and your nuke's in the middle of it.
When that thing pops, it's all over.
As much as I would love
to kill you right now, we need each other.
Sadly, it's gonna take two of us
to get out of this place, or we both die.
- What's your way out?
- That vent.
We need to build a scaffold.
So you can arrest me
once we're on the surface?
Once we get out, go our separate ways,
live to fight another day.
I trusted you once,
and you backstabbed me.
Well, shit, I
What other option do you have?
God help you if you're playing games.
Considering our situation,
I'll take any help God's handing out.
Okay, Roo, you have to get him
into a sitting position.
A 45-degree angle,
wound side, arm above his head.
I feel dizzy.
Well, you normally feel really horny,
so this is a new experience for you.
Okay, but we gotta get this arm up.
Put it over your head, bud.
- Hey, we've gotta move him now.
- No.
Transporting him in this condition
could kill him.
Once Roo re-inflates his lungs,
he'll be able to move on his own.
Then get it done.
- The whole place is gonna blow.
- Emma?
Emma is probably trapped
from the explosion.
- Hey, hey.
- What?
You go help him find her.
No, she will take care of you.
I'll look for Emma, okay?
Take care of him fast.
Okay.
Oh man,
I picked the wrong day to get high.
It's like my nephew's bris all over again.
Update.
Temp readings are hot.
We're maybe 15 minutes out
before detonation.
Damn it.
The whole basement has collapsed.
I can't find an access to the east wing.
Easy, Luke. Boro's men could be anywhere.
There was an explosion
at one of the reactors,
so the guards are all gone.
It would take hours for the government
to do risk assessment
and to send the troops in.
So I'm safe right now.
You don't have hours, Luke.
You've got 15 minutes at best.
Hard as it is,
I need an honest assessment
of the odds Emma's still alive.
Why?
You and two other officers
are in grave danger.
- If there's no valid reason to remain
- Fifty-fifty.
I said an honest assessment.
Based on the force of the blast
and the damage I saw
maybe 10%.
But it's my daughter.
My niece is tough as hell, Director.
The blast was subterranean.
- Above-ground floors are intact, right?
- Yeah, most of it is, yes.
So there could be air pockets.
If Emma's in one of them,
then she has a chance if she goes up.
High windows, ventilation ducts.
That's what you need to be
looking for, sir.
If Emma survived the blast,
that's how you'll find her.
Fourteen minutes.
Luke, I'm giving you 12,
then your orders are to abort.
Dot, I respect you,
but you must be out of your fucking mind
if you think that I'll leave here
without my kid.
I think it's stuck.
Come on. Push.
All that time
Finn spent with you as a kid,
he never taught you to work out?
I was hurt in the explosion.
Of course Finn trained with me.
He read me Sun Tzu,
introduced me to the Rolling Stones.
It's funny.
He looks at me like a dish
he can't stand the taste of,
and he was the one that threw
the ingredients in the bowl.
Emma!
The hose is sanitized.
Good. Now sterilize the area
between the fourth and fifth rib
on the wound side of the chest cavity.
- Why?
- That's where you'll make the incision.
Fuck you.
Roo, you have to drain the fluid
from his lungs.
- You didn't tell me I had to cut him open.
- What did you think the hose was for?
I thought he'd just blow on it maybe
and stuff would just get
shot out of his chest.
And the urine-filled jar?
I don't know. You're a weird guy.
I just went with it.
Damn it, Officer Russell,
get out your tac knife and do your job.
I don't have my tac.
All I have is my
Roy Rogers Camper Buddy.
- Where's your proper gear?
- One, I always have my dad's knife on me.
Two, it's not my fault.
My tac knife was in the vehicle I blew up.
I guess technically that was my fault.
Oh, Aldon.
Oh my God.
He's out cold. His pulse is thready.
Listen, Roo, you've got to cut him open
or he's dead in minutes.
Emma!
Emma!
Can you hear me?
Lift with your legs.
- Don't tell me how to lift.
- Fine, throw your back out.
- What is that?
- Shh.
EMMA?
It's Morse code.
YES. WITH BORO.
Thank God.
She's alive.
Clock's still ticking.
Luke, can you get Emma out of there
and complete task on Boro?
I don't know.
WE'RE CLIMBING TO VENT.
ONLY 10 MINUTES.
HURRY!
- Is that Finn Hoss?
- Yeah.
What did he say?
You should shut up and get back to work,
so we don't die.
Let's go.
Three four five.
- Okay, I found it.
- Good.
Now take the sterilized knife,
make a one-inch incision.
Are Are you crying?
I'm scared. I can't lose another one.
Roo, we're not certain
we've lost anyone yet.
You're not talking about Emma, are you?
Roo, why do you carry
your dad's pocketknife around with you?
I didn't think he would get in trouble.
He told me it was his medicine
and not to touch it,
but they were cops.
And the cops asked you
where your dad kept, what,
the drugs he sold?
I was seven.
I cannot lose another one
and have it be my fault.
You know what I think, Roo?
I think you're afraid you're going to lose
Aldon, a man you love,
just like you loved your father,
and you don't wanna be responsible again.
Your dad didn't go to prison
because of you.
You were a child.
And Aldon's not going to die
because of you either.
You're not seven.
You're a brave and capable woman,
and you are not
going to let your friend down.
Now make the cut.
Okay the incision is made.
Way to go, doc!
That was some
Sigmund Freud shit right there!
Luke, where are we?
There's a vent with a metal cap.
I'm trying to remove it.
- Eight minutes to go.
- Tops.
Respectfully, sir,
you've gotta Hulk-out on that shit.
Whatever he's trying to do,
he won't do it in time.
He won't stop until he gets me out.
Forgive me
if I don't have the same trust in the man.
He single-handedly destroyed my life.
Just grab that box.
You know, you're a whiny little bitch,
you know that?
Excuse me?
"Finn Hoss put
all my ingredients in the bowl."
"Finn Hoss destroyed my life."
You don't think some of your choices
put you in your current situation?
Let's see.
Murdering my father, his choice.
Sending me to boarding school
away from the only world I knew,
his choice.
Destroying my life's work, his choice.
- Finn Hoss
- Finn Hoss is not your problem!
Boro Polonia's made millions of decisions
that got him stuck in a basement
with a nuke that's about to blow.
For Christ's sake,
take some responsibility.
Stop blaming him for all of your mistakes.
Wow, that's really good advice.
I'm glad you're so impressed
with the wisdom you've bestowed.
Let's get the fuck out of here
before we get blown to hell.
Yeah.
His breath is still shallow.
- He's not getting better.
- He will.
As fluid escapes his pleural cavity,
negative pressure rises,
and his lung will inflate.
How will I know when that happens?
Hey, Roo.
'Sup?
There's a huge hose hanging out of me.
That's what you told your doctor.
We gotta hit the bricks.
This place is about to go boom.
You better keep your word.
Let go of me, or I'll kick you off.
All right.
All right, put your weight on me.
- Can you hear me?
- We're coming.
Hurry. You have five minutes.
Hey, can you see her, Luke?
No, but I can hear her getting closer.
- Oh, Danielle.
- It's okay. He knows my real name.
Might as well tell me yours too, Finn.
I'll find out eventually
once I'm out of here.
When you're out, you are under arrest.
About that, we called a truce.
We'd get out, go our separate ways,
live to fight another day.
Luke, you have your orders.
Polonia does not get out of that vent.
Okay, come.
- Damn it, I can't reach.
- I'll go. I'm taller.
- No, she goes first.
- You'll leave me here.
I won't leave you. I give you my word.
Luke, you will not defy a direct order.
Lift her up, and then you.
You're running out of time, Bengal.
In a few minutes, you're gonna die.
Three minutes, to be exact.
Come on, Emma.
Got it.
Thank God.
- Your head.
- Yeah, he took a pipe to me.
It's okay. I'm good.
Come on, Finn, get me out of here.
Within minutes,
everything you worked for will go to dust.
And you will never forgive us,
and you will never stop coming after us.
Your new mission will be vengeance.
- You gave me your word! Let me out!
- I'm sorry.
- I can't let you come after her.
- You can't do this to me, Finn.
I was like a son to you!
You were like a son,
but she is my daughter.
- Goodbye, Bengal.
- No!
Sir, the temperature's reached
critical mass.
Luke, you gotta run.
You can't do this to me, Finn! Finn!
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women
Director, nuke detonated but contained.
Target neutralized.
All CIA personnel alive and accounted for.
Mission complete.
That's it, and that's all.
- Hell yeah!
- Woo!
You just took out a major terrorist.
Congratulations.
We all did. It was a group effort.
Good work, doc.
Got the helicopter coordinates from Roo.
Twelve minutes out.
That's good.
How's your head?
Uh, getting better.
How's yours?
Couldn't have been easy back there.
Uh, it was not.
Dad, I, um
I've been blaming you for a lot of things
that weren't your fault
for a while now.
I guess I was refusing to accept
my share of the blame.
That couldn't have felt good.
It wasn't fair. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
Because a lot of it was my fault.
No, I'm serious. I mean, I shouldn't
put my nose into your affairs.
I mean, I shouldn't interfere. It's wrong.
What do they call that? Chopper parent?
Helicopter.
Well, when it comes to worrying about you,
I'm like an Apache helicopter.
I'll tell you that.
But you know,
I do all these things
because I love you so much.
It's
I know this is not a good excuse.
There's one more thing
that I have to own up to.
"That's it, and that's all?"
Yeah?
I stole it
from Throw Momma from the Train.
I knew it.
I love Danny DeVito.
He's so tiny.
I want to put him in my pocket.
Um, Barry.
I just got word from the NSA
that my transfer's being quashed.
I'm staying.
That's incredible.
Wanna tell me how this happened?
Who knows, you know?
Government bureaucracy, you know?
Mm.
I know.
I've seen you running around,
making calls.
What did you do for me, Barry Putt?
It just cost me a comic book.
Amazing Spider-Man #298.
The first one penciled by Todd McFarlane.
"Don't Worry Be Happy."
That's Bobby McFerrin.
Okay.
Todd McFarlane's work
had an understated beauty about it.
And as soon as I saw it
I knew it was special.
HQ just texted back.
The ambulance is ready on the runway,
and the surgeon is on standby.
I don't need an ambulance. You take me.
Don't argue with Dr. Roo.
She says take the ambulance, take it.
- Don't tell us what to do, princess.
- I'm agreeing with you.
Still, I am holding a jar of pee
so don't piss me off.
- You can't fake it anymore, you know.
- Fake what?
That you hate me.
Stoned or not, you said
some nice things to me. Real nice.
- And we both know what that means.
- I'm gonna punch you in the cooter?
No, that deep down part of you likes me,
and that means we're friends.
Fine. But it's not like
we're gonna do each other's hair
and make BFF TikToks together.
- Got it?
- Got it.
That being said,
I am glad you didn't get blown up today.
I'll take it.
He was right, you know.
Years ago,
I looked at him not like my son,
but like a child I really cared for,
and I just can't get over the feeling
that maybe I should have done
more to stop him
from going down that road that he took.
Dad, Boro's a grown man.
Everything that went down in his life,
it's on him.
You're right.
He had to go.
So chatter's been minimal,
little bits here and there.
Tina's been monitoring,
but everything points
to the same conclusion.
Lape Pa Lanmo has run for the hills.
Totally disjointed, broken as a threat,
completely nullified.
Well, that's great news, Director.
I've reviewed
the after-action report, however,
and there was one thing
I just can't quite figure out.
Ma'am?
You were in some
pretty dire straits in Sardovia.
Trapped underground
in a radioactive hellhole,
stuck with a sociopathic killer,
surrounded by material
perfectly suited for makeshift weapons.
Survival instincts easily
could've taken over,
the whole situation
devolves into a bloodbath,
and your hard-headed father
would've kept looking for you,
likely died in the blast along with you.
But somewhere along the line,
you and Boro, against all odds,
wound up working together
to try to escape.
So I gotta ask,
how the hell did that happen?
I guess I convinced him to cooperate.
Okay, and how the hell did you do that?
I reasoned with him.
Ah, I see.
Funny, doesn't sound like
that impulsive rogue officer
we had to rescue from Guyana
not so long ago.
The hope is that this new mindset
will help you
with your new PCS assignment.
New assignment?
Well, according to the progress reports
I received from your superior officer,
he thinks you'll do just fine
on your own again.
- So do I.
- Dad.
Look, I would rather have you be
a librarian or something, but uh
if you want to continue this work,
to tell you the truth,
you don't need me anymore.
- Yes, I do.
- No.
Director, I'm I'm flattered,
but the truth is,
I never thought I'd say this,
I've learned a ton
from working with my dad.
How he leads the team,
how he keeps his cool,
how to slit a man's throat vertically
so he bleeds out faster.
I'd like to stay on his team.
You can't, sweetheart.
I'm retiring.
The papers have been resubmitted.
It's your mom.
Excuse me.
Tally. So nice to hear your voice.
Yeah, that's right.
Mm-hm.
You did what?!
There. No more blemish.
A pimple on my wedding day.
Must be nerves.
You look amazing, Grandma. Right?
Uh-huh. Very pretty.
- Aw, cutie-pie. You look like a princess.
- Thank you.
It's true, Mom. You look beautiful.
Knock, knock.
Hey, no seeing the bride
before the wedding.
But I've seen the bride
a million times before the wedding.
Oh, but never like this.
Tally, you look stunning.
Well, I have a pimple.
I have a prediction that today
is going to be the best day of my life.
Okay, I'm here to just tell you gals
the fellas are heading down to the church,
so we'll see you in a few.
Don't be late
'cause we'll be there with bells on.
Like the steeple.
- All righty.
- Okay, yeah. See you there.
- Mom, are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Absolutely.
Hey. Got the shoe polish.
Midnight, not to be confused
with supervillain Midnight,
archenemy of Marvel superhero, Moon.
Fantastic. Thank you very much.
Guys, you're not gonna believe it.
I can't believe it.
I've been dealing
with this national dry-cleaning chain.
They think the tech in my app
can help them track inventory.
They wanna buy my company for 4.8 million.
Dollars? For MaizeLee?
MyAisles. Yeah. It's a
Everyone's gonna get
eight times their investment.
Hold on, wait, so I just made 70 grand?
70,432.18, to be exact.
That's amazing!
- Congratulations!
- You're a millionaire!
You know, your uncle has had his eye
on the original Mogwai cage from Gremlins.
Let's just sit on all this amazing news
until tomorrow, right?
I mean, um, today is Mom's big day.
I don't wanna take away from it.
Yeah.
No, we wouldn't wanna do that, would we?
Hello, everybody.
- Hey, Luke.
- Hey.
I come in peace.
Okay, so I just wanted
to wish you all a wonderful day,
and I brought some flowers for the bride.
Luke, that's very kind of you. Thank you.
- And congratulations, Donnie.
- Thanks.
I have to tell you from experience,
these will be the happiest days
of your life, being married to Tally.
- Yeah.
- I'm very happy that she found a good guy.
Oh, well, I appreciate that, Luke.
And hey, we were both disappointed
to get your "will not attend" card.
It's a small ceremony.
There's plenty of room,
even for a big fella like you.
I appreciate that,
but this day is all about you two.
Okay, well, in case you change your mind,
the reception's at Luigi's.
We'd love to have you.
- But we gotta hit it.
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Luke.
- Sure.
Class act, Dad. Proud of you.
Thank you.
See ya.
I'm proud too.
You're keeping it together pretty good.
I'm dead inside.
That's what I figured.
I'm really sorry, pal.
Luke.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You are beautiful.
It's like a magic trick
that stuns me every time.
Well, aren't you the sweet one.
Oh, I brought you flowers.
Daisies.
- My favorite.
- Mm-hm.
Supermarket's finest.
Look, I just wanted to come by
and say something
that I probably said a million times.
I'm so sorry, what I've put you through.
I mean, from the time we met,
all I always wanted
was just for you to be happy,
and I'm glad that
that day has come for you.
Thank you, Luke.
- You gonna be all right?
- Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
Just gonna kick back,
have some beer with Napoleon,
Thomas Dewey, Buffalo Bills,
and all the great losers in history.
Thank you for being you.
- I guess that's it, and that's all.
- You think?
- How could you hurt her like this again?
- Hurt her?
I'm trying to be the bigger man.
You're being the dumber man.
She was drunk and pissed at you
when she proposed.
She may love him,
but she's not in love with him.
Look, you just don't understand.
I understand that I saw my mom
force a smile
at one of Donnie's stupid jokes
two minutes before you made her light up
on the saddest day of her life.
She's still in love with your
clueless Austrian ass.
No one makes her laugh like you do
or feel joy like you do you.
And give her pain like I do.
You only hurt her because the job,
and the job is over.
So Donnie should be over.
They're not meant to be together.
I never should have set them up.
Okay? I'm sorry.
I fucked up.
Language.
You're gonna let it happen, aren't you?
I'll see you tomorrow.
You're gonna wake up tomorrow
and realize you blew it.
Love you.
Shit.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
Oh, nice. Yeah, I was hoping
I'd get to see you play today.
Yeah.
I haven't played in front of a crowd
in a while, but my mom asked me to, so
Well, I think you're
you're gonna kill it.
I hope it sounds good.
It's no Raffaele Carmalini.
Yeah. Thank you for giving me
the other violin back.
Um, I was actually able to sell it
and make a small profit.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
it wouldn't have been right to keep it.
- So yeah.
- Yeah.
It's kinda weird,
this being the church
we were gonna get married in.
Weird is the word. Um
So are you seeing anybody?
- No, no. Just me, myself, and I.
- Yeah.
Uh, what about you?
Are you still dating the lawn-dart woman?
Bernadette, and it was, uh, cricket.
And uh yeah, no, we broke up.
Oh, I'm I'm sorry to hear that.
It's fine, you know.
People People break up.
- Yeah, they They do.
- Yeah.
I should probably
- It was good seeing you.
- Yeah. Good to Good to see you too, Em.
There's still something brewing here.
I thought I could get away,
but there's been an uptick in chatter
from the scattered Lape Pa Lan-bros.
Really? What kind of chatter?
Still breaking the encryption.
Probably some low-level soldiers
that are trying to locate
some of Boro's unseized assets.
Dot is having me catalog it.
- Soon as I'm done, I'll get to the church.
- Okay.
But hustle your bustle
'cause the wedding is about to start.
You know you become Batman
if you skip church, right?
- Huh?
- You'd be Christian Bale. Get it?
A Christian who bailed on church?
Yeah, I'm Hindu, and that joke
makes me think there's no gods.
See you soon.
That ain't good.
I don't know about this.
I don't wanna get locked up again.
Shawn, we did five weeks in county
for lizard smuggling.
This SOB and his secretary set us up.
- But, Travis, it's not worth it
- Bullshit.
Okay, we put the recorder under the seat.
We catch him slipping up, and we got him.
Now pick the goddamn lock.
I got your back.
Luke.
- What are you doing here?
- Fixing a mistake that I made decades ago.
I'm in love with you, Talulah,
but I've been lying to you for years,
and I just want you to hear the truth.
And then after that,
if you still decide to marry Donnie,
so be it.
I'll just step aside.
You have some balls.
You show up minutes before my wedding
with a horseshit grand gesture
to finally tell me the truth?
Let me save you the trouble, Luke.
There is nothing you can say
that could possibly make me change my mind
or believe what you Or, or
I've been a spy for the CIA
since before we met.
I was never a gym equipment salesman.
That was all bullshit.
I was never around because I was always
on international missions
to wipe out criminals and killers.
I kept it a secret from you
because I wanted
to protect you and the family.
But now that's it.
I'm done with it forever.
Here, I'll show you.
This is the National Distinguished
Service Award medal.
Now you don't get this from Cracker Jack.
So please,
don't marry Donnie.
Uh.
Shit.
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na ♪
Barry! ♪
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na ♪
Voicemail! ♪
Wait, wait! I got an idea.
Uh-huh.
Now, I know this is a lot for you
to take in and to believe,
but here, let me show you.
This is security footage
from a raid in Mozambique
when I missed the baptism for your niece.
- Remember that?
- Yeah.
Well, I want to warn you,
this is very bloody and very gory.
I mean, I killed a lot of people.
- What?
- Yeah.
But they all were dicks.
What?
So believe me, I've been in love with you
every single day.
And I promise you
Down!
Car bomb.
Stay down. I'll get the kids.
Hey, everybody just remain calm.
I'm gonna get your dad.
He's in the back with your mom.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Emma, why do you have a gun?
Get down! Get down!
So go ahead, express your truths.
Okay.
I shouldn't have retired.
I shouldn't have abandoned my friends.
And I was wrong about you, Aldon.
You'd be a wonderful son-in-law.
I want you to marry Emma
and impregnate her with my grandbabies.
Good. It's a good start.
Roo, let's see what you got.
Yeah, I have actually
never kissed a girl before,
but I think you would be
a very patient teacher
Guys! You gotta get to the church!
I can't talk now.
No, I'm sorry.
I can't right now.
I'll call you later.
I'm in the middle of something.
Everything is under control.
It's safe.
Mom.
Boro?
You remember this harmonica?
You gave it to me
back when you still loved me.
How the hell did you find us?
The twine ring on your daughter's finger?
I cross-referenced the name Emma
with engagement announcements.
A kid cranked up on Red Bull
found one in the Westchester Gazette.
But not for Emma's engagement
for her mother's.
Emma Brunner was listed as a bridesmaid.
After I knew the name,
it was easy to find her father.
Luke Brunner.
Gym equipment salesman.
Totally worth being buried alive
for the two days
it took my men to dig me out.
Even worth the radiation poisoning.
I survived on rat blood and hate.
It's okay, Tally.
It's not you who he wants.
He wants me.
That's not entirely true.
My original plan
was to blow her up after the wedding
and pick off the rest of your family
as they ran to her car to help.
But you're fond of ruining my plans.
You both are.
I was the one that betrayed you,
so let her go and kill me.
Let's get it over with.
What do you say, Bengal?
Don't call me that!
Don't pretend to care!
Look at what you made me.
You want it to be over?
There's only one way.
Only way that's fair.
The two of you, the two liars!
Face each other.
Take your guns and point them
at each other's heads
then father and daughter
pull the trigger together.
No, don't do that! Don't!
Do that, and she lives.
If you don't, she dies right now.
Mom, it's our fault.
Oh, baby.
No. No, no, no,
I love you, sweetheart.
I love you, Dad.
Don't!
Tally, you're the love of my life.
Everything that you've
gone through with me,
you deserve a medal.
You hear me, Tally?
A medal.
Got him.
It's headquarters. Hello?
You've all been burned.
Your identities have been compromised.
A transpo officer will have a van to you
in less than 20 seconds.
Everyone in the van, now!
- We gotta get Tina!
- Barry, we got burned.
Tina doesn't want you to die.
Get your ass into the van.
- Come on, let's go.
- We're in. We're in.
So you're all CIA?
No, just me.
And Luke.
And Emma.
- And me.
- And Roo makes five, Mrs. B.
Break it down, boss.
How bad is it?
Boro was an international terrorist
with a personal vendetta
against Emma and me.
He's known our true identities
for who knows how long.
He could've sold our information
to countless animals
we've gone up against over the years.
I just want to go home.
- You can't.
- What?
Our houses, our bank accounts,
all of our assets,
we can't even get close to it.
There's probably hundreds of terrorists
- Human traffickers.
- Drug smugglers.
Straight up killers.
all over the world tracking us,
lying in wait.
We got completely burned.
Nowhere is safe.
So, what do we do now?
I don't know.
It's totally FUBAR.