Gilmore Girls s01e08 Episode Script

This town meeting will come to order.
- No one is listening to me.
- Taylor, calm down.
I can't calm down.
I'm being persecuted.
- I promised that we'd hear you.
- We've been hearing you for 20 minutes.
Excuse me, but some of us have businesses to run that don't involve peddling drug paraphernalia to kids.
It was a lava lamp, Taylor.
There is no use for a lava lamp unless you're on drugs.
For crying out loud.
Now, we've already agreed to look into your accusation but to just What'd I miss? Taylor Doose wants the no-parking zone in front of his store removed.
He says his customers are being unfairly ticketed.
- No, he just wants to park there all day.
- Genius.
I have been mayor of this fine town for a long time.
I tend to think of all of you as my children.
Unfortunately, sometimes children have to be disciplined.
Now, I'm gonna say something, and I'm only gonna say it once.
We have leash laws, people.
Daddy's getting angry.
- Rover will not leash himself.
- Good point.
I would like to now move on to something of even greater importance.
As you all know, this coming Friday is the anniversary of the legendary Battle of Stars Hollow.
- Where's Luke? - There.
Patty will be circulating a sign-up sheet for those of you who would like to participate in the reenactment of the aforesaid battle.
He's turning red.
All right.
"It was a frigid November night some 224 years ago" He's shifting in his seat.
"Hollow Militia stood in wait for the redcoats.
" He's adjusting the cap.
"Tired and hungry, 12 proud men took their positions in the town square.
" He's fighting the urge.
"and imminent death in their valiant efforts" For God's sake, do we have to go through this every damn year? - Yes! - And the urge wins by a long shot.
I thought we were here to discuss town issues.
This is a town issue.
- Excuse me, who's talking? - It's me, Harry.
Luke.
You've known me since I was five years old.
Luke, yes.
Sit down.
Now, as I was saying: "12 heroic men" "assembled with guns drawn, ready to meet their maker" What are you talking about? Twelve guys stood in a row all night.
- "waiting for the redcoats" - Who never showed! Now, just Twelve guys stood in a row waiting for an enemy that never showed.
They got stood up.
They should've been wearing prom dresses.
- I've had just about enough of this.
- Sit down, Taylor! - Menace.
- Suck up.
- $5, someone ends up in a headlock.
- You're on.
Have any of you considered the fact that you're glorifying a war we fought so we could keep land that we stole? If you don't like it here in America why don't you go stand in line for toilet paper in the USSR? There is no more USSR, Harry.
A sense of community is so important, isn't it? It's what made our country great.
if you're so interested in facts.
Lorelai, it's Max.
Medina, Max Medina.
And once again we miss each other.
It's now 2.
;00 in the afternoon on Thursday and I'm in my office grading a paper entitled.
; Emily Dickinson, Get a Life.
Anyhow, as I sit here losing my faith in mankind I wonder if we're ever gonna actually go on that date we talked about many moons ago.
I teach a night class in Stamford twice a week and when I pass that Stars Hollow sign on the turnpike, I think.
; "Out there is a beautiful woman that I someday hope to spend time with.
" Anyhow, I'm just thinking about you.
I don't know, maybe next week we can find some time.
Bye, Lorelai Gilmore.
You knew that.
Okay, bye.
Lorelai, it's Max.
Medina, Max Medina.
- Mom? - And once again we miss each other.
- Sorry.
- What are you doing up? - I couldn't sleep.
- It's freezing in here.
Wait.
Close your eyes and breathe.
I smell snow.
- It's that time of year.
- Can't you smell it? You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises.
I think it's something only you can smell.
- I love snow.
- Really? I had no idea.
Everything's magical when it snows.
Everything looks pretty.
The clothes are great: Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Thermal underwear, wool socks, earflaps.
Do you know the best things in my life have happened when it snowed? Why, yes, I do.
- My best birthday.
- Your first kiss.
Your first steps.
They all happened when it snowed.
Feet.
- I feel good.
Tingly.
- That's called frostbite.
You are mocking your mother, the woman who birthed you.
- I'm sorry.
- During a snowstorm, might I add.
So how soon is it supposed to hit? Tomorrow.
Definitely tomorrow.
- Okay, then tomorrow it is.
- What? You, me, doughnuts, coffee, standing out in a snowstorm.
- At midnight? - At midnight.
You are my favorite daughter.
How many times are you gonna listen to that? Till it stops being sexy.
Stop.
That's my teacher you're talking about.
I have to respect him.
Okay, if it makes you feel any better while he's being sexy, he's also being grammatically correct.
Better.
Thank you.
Sorry, I woke you up.
It's okay.
It's all fodder for the tell-all.
Good night.
Lorelai, it's Max.
Medina, Max Medina.
How is it out there? It is cold and gray, like a fat, dead pigeon.
We'll pull out the sleds.
People might want to sled.
We'll need the parkas.
- For what? - In case anyone wants to hike.
You know not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing.
I know, and how sad for them.
The sensation of getting lost in a blizzard of freezing to death in the woods, eating your friend's buttocks to stay alive That is lost on many people.
I am telling you, five minutes in a snowball fight we could knock that stick right out of your butt.
Okay, how does this sound? Maple-sugar snowflakes on all the pillows? That sounds wonderful! Make them in the shape of a buttock to get people used to them.
- Is that a real suggestion? - Sookie, please, who is speaking? Michel, right, okay.
Snowflakes it is.
I just can't believe it.
I mean, I sat next to him in practice for months and then one day I look over, and it's Rich.
Rich Bloomenfeld.
Where is my chemistry book? I had it at your house yesterday.
Rory, focus, please.
- I'm sorry.
I just can't find my book.
- Hey, babe.
- Sergeant Pepper.
- Mom, do you know where my Scary chemistry book is? Behind the desk.
Thank God.
- So, is Sookie in the kitchen? - And there she'll stay.
- Okay.
So, where were we? - I just met my soul mate.
Right.
Rich Bloomenfeld.
Does he still wear the Star Trek shirt? Remember, you do not take your eyes off this for a minute.
'Cause the second you do, it will boil, and then it's ruined.
So just stand there and stare at it, okay? - Hey, Sookie.
- Hey, kitty-cats.
Cinnamon buns are over there.
Do you have any Rocky Road cookies you made yesterday? I can scrounge some up.
- Lane, you need a bag? - No, thank you.
- Are you staring? - I'm staring.
Thank you.
So, anyhow, Rich has this amazing hair.
- Really? - Oh, my God.
It's so perfect.
It's thick, but it's not too thick, and it's got really good natural wave.
So he probably uses way less product than most guys.
Always a plus.
- What time is it? - I don't know.
I have to get to the bus stop.
Dean's meeting me there.
- I'm trying to talk to you.
- I know.
We'll talk on the way.
- Here you go.
- Thank you, Sookie.
A locksmith's coming to the house today, like 5:00, and it could take long.
So tell Grandma and Grandpa I'll be late and that I'm having Satan's baby? You pick the order.
I'll relay the time message but I'm leaving the rest to you.
- You hate Rocky Road cookies.
- I do not.
I'm sorry.
That must be my other daughter, Shmory.
- We're leaving now.
- Wait a minute.
I know who likes Rocky Road cookies.
- Who? - They're for Dean.
She's bringing baked goods to a boy.
Wow, serious.
Here, Dean, these cookies are for you, because you're keen.
- Stop.
- Rory's in love! - We can stop.
She's gone now.
- But it's fun.
You're on your own.
I just can't believe it.
I've known him since the sixth grade, but suddenly he's different.
He's not gangly anymore.
You remember how gangly he was? I'm sorry.
What? - You're not listening to me.
- I am.
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't find my bookmark.
Okay, go ahead.
Here are the problems facing the whole Bloomenfeld-Kim situation.
One: Hyphenation would be a pain.
Two: He's my band partner.
Romance would be completely awkward.
Three: He's never even looked at me like I'm a girl or something resembling one.
Four: There's no way I could convince my parents he was Korean.
But I can't help it.
I'm obsessed.
- Did I tell you about his hair? - It's on his head, right? Nice hat.
- Here.
- How'd you like it? I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
You liked it.
You liked Jane Austen.
I knew you would.
- Lane, Dean likes Jane Austen.
- Who would've thought? I told him he would, but he was all: "Forget Jane Austen.
Read Hunter Thompson.
" You do have to read Hunter Thompson.
Not as much as you needed to read Jane Austen.
- What's that? - Just some cookies.
- Rocky Road.
- Yeah.
Wow, she brings me cookies.
How can I repay her? - How about Charlotte Bronte? - How about something else? That's good, too.
Okay, I gotta go.
I'm gonna be late for homeroom.
I have that perfect-attendance certificate in my sights.
- See you later.
- Yeah, see you.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have flakes.
Flakes have been sighted.
Flakeage, if you will, has begun.
Michel, it's the first snowfall of the season.
- It's very lucky.
Make a wish.
- Get away from me.
You're not supposed to say it out loud.
- Independence Inn.
- The world changes when it snows.
It gets quiet.
Everything softens.
- It's your mother.
- And then the rain comes.
Hi, Mom.
- Have you seen the news? - Ever? A bad storm's heading your way.
It's already hit us here.
I'll get the ark, you get the animals.
I just sent Lance to pick up Rory at school.
The roads are terrible.
Black ice everywhere.
It's just a mess out there.
I hate this kind of weather.
What time will you get here? I don't know, let's see.
Black ice, treacherous roads.
I'll wear my red-white-and-blue leotard grab my golden lasso, and fly the invisible plane.
You're not coming.
If it's as bad as you say it is, I don't see how I'd come.
- I guess it'll just be the three of us then.
- I guess so.
You know, Rory should probably spend the night tonight also.
- Okay.
- And if it's still bad tomorrow Why don't you see what the weather does before filling out a change-of-address card for her.
- Rory's here.
- Put her on a sec.
Rory, it's your mother.
- Things bad out there? - It's crazy.
There's snow coming down everywhere and saddle shoes are not the best all-weather footwear.
- You fell.
- Twice.
- Yikes.
I'm sorry.
- So, are you coming over tonight? No, I'm pretty much stuck in the Hollow tonight.
Bummer.
We can take our snow walk tomorrow night? Absolutely.
Tell Grandma you arrived there not a member of the Junior League.
I'd like you to leave there the same way.
- Call if you get Ionely.
- I will.
Bye.
Stop this before somebody drives through town and thinks the local mental institution has bad padlocks.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Your father was a reenactor.
Yes, and I thought he was crazy also.
- Who's stepping on my musket? - That'd be me.
Well, stop it.
There goes the fire chief, the police chief and the one paramedic with a valid license.
I feel safe.
Don't you? Look at them.
All relatively intelligent men but there they are, dressed up in costumes standing out in a snowstorm, and for what? Because it's tradition.
Tradition is a trap allowing people to stick their head in the sand.
Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming.
Times were simpler.
Kids didn't have sex.
Neighbors knew each other.
It's a freaking fairy tale.
Things sucked then, too.
It sucked without indoor plumbing.
I think some traditions are nice.
Birthdays, holidays taking a walk in the first snow of the season.
I didn't get the Hallmark card for that one.
When I was five, I had a really bad ear infection and I had been home in bed for a week, and I was very sad.
So I wished really hard that something wonderful would happen to me.
I woke up the next morning, and it had snowed.
And I was sure that some fairy godmother had done it just for me.
It was my little present.
Your parents didn't explain the concept of weather? I am making a point, Mouthy McGee.
Of course, many years later I realized that, logically, the snow was not there for me personally.
But still, when it snows, something inside me says: "Hey, that's your present.
" I don't think it'll ever change.
- My father used to be one of those guys.
- Yeah? - Yeah, he even had his own musket.
- Really? Never had to rent it.
- Where's the musket now? - He was buried with it.
Yeah, he loved that musket.
That's nice, in a disturbing sort of way.
Come on in.
I'll get you some coffee.
No, thanks.
I'm gonna walk around.
Enjoy my present a little.
People, please get into formation.
Hats on and instruments in place.
Do not, I repeat do not actually put instruments to your mouths until we are inside.
Remember what happened to the flautist last year.
I smell snow.
- What's up, Teach? - What are you doing here? I live here.
What are you doing here? I was on my way back from Stamford.
My car decided to stop.
- Here? - Yes.
- In my town? - Yes.
Good car.
- It's nice to see you.
- You, too.
You know, a minute ago I was really angry about something and now I just can't remember what it was.
- That's snow for you.
- I guess so.
So, this is quite a predicament you're in.
Stranded here in a strange town with no one you know.
Wait.
- Where's Rory tonight? - She's in Hartford with her grandparents.
- That must be nice.
- Whatever you say.
- So Rory's in Hartford? - Yes.
- And I'm in Stars Hollow.
- Correct.
- And you're - Thinking where I should take you.
No, where I should take you.
This is my town.
You know nothing around here.
No, but I was the one who asked you out initially so therefore I am still obligated to do the taking.
But I was the one who did the canceling after you did the asking.
Therefore you forfeit your taking rights to me, the canceller.
- So we're actually gonna do this? - Yes, we are.
Let me just give this guy my keys, and then we'll go.
- Great.
- "Great" is an understatement.
I just don't understand why you waited so late to call.
Are you sure? Fine.
All right.
Yes, goodbye.
I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
What's the problem, Emily? The problem is that apparently Florence cannot get here because of the storm.
Our cook.
We'll just have to go out, then.
Please, Richard, pay attention.
We can't go out.
It's miserable out there.
We'll figure something out.
What? What will we figure out? - I don't know, but - I hate the damn snow.
- Emily, calm down.
- This is a serious problem.
These Friday dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week.
Rory, are you in any way malnourished or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account? - I'm good.
- She's good, Emily.
Your sense of humor rears its ugly head at the oddest of times, Richard.
I'm not the mastermind behind some great scheme to spoil your dinner plans and I don't care to be treated as such.
So you're fine with having no dinner tonight, is that it? - I certainly am not.
- How about I check the fridge? I'm sure there's something in there we could whip up.
- Whip up? - Yeah, come on.
It'll be fun, I promise.
Come on, Mr.
We'Il-figure-it-out.
- Nothing.
- Not a blessed thing.
There's frozen pizza.
- How did that get there? - Maybe you bought it and forgot.
I've never bought frozen pizza.
It must belong to Anna.
- The maid.
- Yes.
Got one! - What are you doing? - I'm gonna make it.
- You're not serious.
- That hardly looks like dinner.
I agree.
Rory, that's food you eat at a carnival or in a Turkish prison.
I promise you'll love it.
- But - Listen, just leave it up to me.
You guys go back to the living room, and I'll call you when it's ready.
- Grandma? - Yes? What are the odds you'd know where a cookie sheet would be? - I'd say very slim.
- Never mind.
I'll find it.
Very slim? Thank you for that.
Thank you.
Hold that.
Thanks.
- God, it's a beautiful night.
- Yes, it is.
- So, tell me something about yourself.
- Like what? - Have you ever been married? - Nope.
- Ever been close? - Once.
- And? - She's in Thailand.
- Sex trade? - Bank of America.
It's usually one or the other.
She went there on business.
She did well.
She never came back.
- Sad.
- It was, at the time.
- But if it was meant to be - He believes in fate.
Fate, poetry, love.
They all go together, don't they? Yes, they do.
- How about you? - I've never been married.
- Ever been close? - Rory's dad proposed.
- What happened? - The bell rang.
I was late for chem lab.
You ever sorry that you didn't? No, we were so young and my life would've been completely different.
You know, I wouldn't live here.
I wouldn't work here.
I wouldn't be walking here with you.
- Where are we going? - You'll see.
Are we gonna get there before we freeze? What kind of fun would it be if I told you the answer? - You're crazy.
- Very possible.
- And I'm following you.
- Yes, you are.
- So possibly I'm crazier then you are.
- Again, very possible.
- A match made in heaven.
- Or in Bellevue.
It must be fate.
This is getting ridiculous, Aaron.
I will not continue to have these conversations with a child.
Yes, he is a child.
When he's worked 30 years at the company, he won't be a child.
Until then, I don't care what his opinions are.
Aaron, are you listening to me? Good, because I'm hanging up on you now and I wanted to make sure that you heard it.
What a moron.
Hello, Rory? - Where are you? - I'm at my grandparents'.
What are you doing at my house? - Like you care.
- What are you talking about? You're never around when I need you.
You know I have to go to my grandparents' on Fridays.
I know.
You go to your grandparents'.
You go to Chilton.
You have to meet Dean.
He needs his cookies.
"I can't find my books.
" What are you taking about? Why have a best friend when she's never around never listens, has no interest in the fact that you're in love - or that you touched his hair? - You touched whose hair? Why would you touch Rich Bloomenfeld's hair? Why? That's a good question.
I don't know why.
Why would a sane person do a thing like that? Maybe I'm not sane.
Maybe I'm going through some sort of phase.
Maybe I really needed someone to talk to about this, and you weren't there.
Lane, come on.
You're always at school, or you're talking about school or you're with Dean.
You have everything now, and I have nothing except for 2,000 Korean Bibles and a potential "F" in jazz band.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
Be here.
Lane? Are you there? - There you are.
- I think the phones went dead.
It's probably just this horrible storm.
- You must come downstairs immediately.
- What's wrong? - The stove is buzzing.
- It's just the timer, Grandma.
I know it's the timer.
I don't know where it's located - or how to turn it off.
- But I really need to call Lane back.
You can do nothing.
The phones will eventually come back.
Please come downstairs and help me stop the buzzing.
Emily, for heaven's sake, get down here.
Okay, let's go.
So, the fiesta burger Very interesting.
- Very spicy? - Oh, yeah.
- How's your tongue? - Much better, thank you.
- Are you scared yet? - Not yet.
- Are you scared yet? - I'm still good.
Are you scared yet? - You're very annoying in a movie.
- I know.
I think it's very important that you know my faults as well as my many attributes.
- Very thoughtful of you.
- It is, isn't it? Because, as you know you can get carried away by your many attributes and suddenly find yourself thinking, "Oh, my God!" "This woman is absolutely perfect.
" We wouldn't want that, now, would we? No, we wouldn't.
You want to eat it before it gets cold.
- How is it? - Not cold.
It's quite tasty.
- Emily, we should have this more often.
- What? Perhaps instead of that horrible salmon that keeps showing up.
That salmon is a fine delicacy.
Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Try it again, Grandma.
It's probably cooler now.
- No, thank you.
I'm fine.
- You know what? It's really good if you add some extra Parmesan to it.
This is Mom's special trick.
Frozen pizza is a staple at our house.
Mom's become a major doctoring genius.
She'll put anything on it.
One time Sookie came and brought us some foie gras - and mom stuck it on a pizza.
- How was it? Pretty good once we took the foie gras off.
Okay, that's good.
Try it.
Please? If you want to get really crazy, you can pick it up.
Well, all right.
Here goes nothing.
- That's wonderful! - See? Rory, pass me that cheese.
Trust me.
It makes all the difference.
I'll be right back.
I found this in Mom's room.
- What's that? - Pictures.
Oh, my goodness, I haven't seen that in years.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at this.
That's one fluffy white dress.
There were 12 petticoats underneath it.
We got it in London, remember, Richard? She looks like a little princess.
I believe about two minutes after that picture was taken Her Highness dumped a glass of grape juice over it.
- Look, Emily, it's Hopey.
- Hopey? My younger sister.
Have I ever seen her? I don't remember her.
She lives in Paris.
Our great expatriate.
Hopey, look at you.
I haven't seen her in such a long time.
- Maybe we should take a trip this year.
- That would be nice.
- Maybe Rory could go with us.
- I'll start packing tomorrow.
- Is that you guys? - Yes, it is.
- That is our wedding picture.
- That's an amazing dress.
It should've been.
My mother had three seamstresses working round the clock.
- You still have it? - It's upstairs packed away somewhere.
I'll save it for you if you like.
Rory's too young to be thinking about things like that.
Every young girl thinks about her wedding.
I know I did.
I knew when I was 12 that I wanted lilies and orchids with a silver bow wrapped around them for my bouquet.
You also knew that you wanted to marry Errol Flynn.
- Grandma had a thing for the pirate guy? - I did not.
She was mad about him.
She tried to get me to grow one of those mustaches.
- You're kidding.
- Richard, stop.
She wanted me to swing from a chandelier.
Now you're just being silly.
Luckily, I was on the fencing team at college or I would have married Lucinda Lester by now.
Actually, Lucinda Lester looked a lot like Errol Flynn.
I should have married her.
It would have been very modern of me.
Mom looks really beautiful here.
- Yes, she does.
- What was the occasion? Who would like some coffee? That was her debutante gown for her coming-out party.
- Mom had a coming-out party? - No, she didn't.
Yes, well, things happen, don't they? If you'll excuse me, I have some business calls to make.
I'll go get that coffee.
- Here.
- What is this? - I brought you coffee.
- No, thank you.
Harry, you're freezing.
Take the damn coffee.
When our forefathers stood out here many moons ago - they didn't have any coffee.
- How do you know? Do you have written documentation about what beverages they did or did not have on that long, historic night of standing? This is still a joke to you, young man.
I don't choose to be a joke.
We don't need your coffee.
Harry, please.
Take the coffee.
My father would have taken the coffee.
Well, all right, then.
Thank you.
- Andrew? - Thank you, Luke.
- Kirk? - You got any herbal tea? Not on me, but I can get some.
- With a squeeze of lemon.
- Okay.
I could really go for some cocoa.
- That sounds good.
- Cocoa for me, too.
Okay, hang on a minute.
One herbal tea and two cocoas.
- Yeah, that part was a little slow.
- Slow? But it picked up pretty soon after that, don't you think? - So this is it, my house.
- Nice.
Thank you.
Good porch.
Nice windows.
Front door.
- Which opens, I assume.
- Yeah.
- Something wrong? - No, nothing's wrong.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I I was so excited about the snow, and about seeing you - Thank you.
that I didn't really think this thing out.
And I usually think this kind of thing out.
- So I'm just thinking this thing out.
- What thing? - Inviting a man over to my house.
- Okay.
See, I have really strict rules about dating.
I keep my personal life totally separate from my life with Rory.
I never want her to feel unsettled or like her life could just shift at any moment.
I totally understand.
And she comes first, and this her house, too.
I understand.
This is something that you don't do often.
- Ever.
- Ever? - Never.
- I see.
I mean, I've dated.
And, you know, dated.
But I've just never dated here, in our house.
What if I promised you that if you let me in all I'm expecting is a cup of coffee? That's it.
Nothing weird or funny.
Unless you're into weird and funny, 'cause I could do weird and funny.
I've been enjoying the hell out of myself tonight - and I think you are, too.
- I am.
So, it's snowing - cold, and your daughter is elsewhere.
- I know.
The whole night's been a weird kismet of events.
- It's that fate guy again.
- At some point in your life you have to decide that some guy is worth opening that front door for.
I am just volunteering.
Would you like some coffee? How strong do you like your coffee? 'Cause I've built up such a tolerance to it I make it too intense for most people.
I lived through the fiesta burger.
Don't hold back now.
- Can I help? - Yeah, you can fill up the pot.
I'm very good at that.
- Six cups sounds good? - Fine.
What are you gonna have? You do know that was a leading question, right? Really? How so? - How badly do you want that coffee? - Not badly.
Such a good answer.
How many kids did you say you have? One.
Why? Lane! Hi! - We're just What are you doing here? - I'm sorry.
I was waiting for Rory.
I'll just go back into her room, and I won't come back out.
I promise.
That's The Cure.
I have to go back in there.
It's okay, I'll finish up the coffee.
- I'll be back as fast as humanly possible.
- Good.
I'm sorry I messed up your date.
You didn't mess up my date.
What's going on? - I was waiting for Rory to get home.
- Sweetie, Rory's stuck in Hartford tonight.
I didn't know.
I'll just go.
Do you want to talk? I'm not Rory, but we do use the same blow dryer.
I did something really stupid today.
- Okay, what did you pierce? - Nothing.
- I touched a boy's hair.
- Okay.
- A boy I really like.
- So far I'm missing the stupid part.
- I kind of did it without his permission.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
I don't know what happened.
I was just standing there.
And then he bends over, and his hair falls forward and suddenly it's like my hand has a life of its own.
Sounds like your hand had help from your hormones.
God, I'm so humiliated.
I can't ever go back to school.
I'll have to be home-schooled.
My mother finally gets her way.
Look at it from a different perspective.
You have so many years of screw-ups ahead of you.
View this as a trial run for really grown-up humiliation.
So not helping.
Maybe you should be a hairdresser.
It's perfect.
You can run your hands through anybody's hair - and they'll pay you for it.
- What am I going to do? Everyone at school's gonna be talking about me.
I can't show my face.
Everybody does stupid things in high school.
- It's a requirement.
- Not like this.
No, some people get pregnant.
Talk about something really juicy for the gossip mill.
I forgot about that.
Everybody screws up, Lane.
That's what happens.
It's what you do with the screw-ups how you handle the experience That's what you should judge yourself by.
I have a great life and an amazing kid.
And I took a detour.
I ended up someplace good.
Tell me this.
How did his hair feel? Good as it looked? Better.
You're gonna be fine.
I'm positive about that.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So who's the guy? Rory's teacher.
He has nice hair.
- Everything okay in there? - It will be.
So, where did we leave off? Lane is gonna stay here tonight.
She had a really bad teen day and she needs to crash someplace sympathetic.
Okay, I understand.
I swear to God, if this wasn't a major Judy Blume moment I would kick her cute little butt right out of here.
Can you recommend a hotel that's really close to here? Why don't you just stay here tonight? Everybody else is.
- I don't know.
- Really, the couch is comfortable.
And there's pillows and blankets.
The bathroom's through there.
And the kitchen has nothing in it but running water if you get thirsty.
And it's an awful night.
- Okay, if it's not a problem.
- Not at all.
Could I at least give you a kiss good-night? Only if you intend to live till morning.
Good night.
- What's up? - Nothing.
What's up with you? You have something to tell me.
Boy, you're so smart.
Right.
Okay.
Here we go.
I've got a boy in the house.
- You what? - Nothing happened, I swear.
- He slept on the couch.
And you know him.
- I do? You like him.
I don't know if that's relevant.
I just thought that I would throw that in there.
- It's Mr.
Medina.
- I know.
My English teacher is on my couch.
It was the snow.
You know how I get.
It's like catnip.
I was walking.
He was there.
His car was broken.
We had fiesta burgers.
It was the snow.
Rory, say something.
Rory, talk to me.
- How do you feel? - I don't know.
Take a guess: Angry, frustrated, nauseous? Weird.
I feel weird.
- Has he been here all night? - Pretty much.
Oh, my God! Did he go into the bathroom? I have stuff hanging in there! You knew I was gonna date him.
This isn't a total surprise.
Yes, I knew you were gonna date.
I just didn't expect for him to be here - at our house in the morning.
- I know.
I don't even remember ever there being a man in our house.
Yeah, well, I kind of broke the rules.
God, why is this so weird for me? Because I should have told you first.
No.
Because I should have talked to you before I did this.
Because you're afraid he smooshed the couch pillows out of shape? Do you love him? We had one date.
It was a great date.
World Series level.
But it was just a date.
Honey, I promised myself a long time ago that I was gonna keep all this stuff separate from you.
And I want you to know that, that still stands, okay? This was a one-time thing.
I'm not gonna start just bringing guys home.
This is not a trend.
- You can, you know.
- What? Bring guys home.
If you like someone, you should feel comfortable doing that.
- I appreciate that.
- I want you to be happy.
And I love you for that.
Plus, I know you're not a cat person so you will be alone if you don't find someone.
Okay, look, someday I will bring somebody home.
But when I do, I just want to be sure it's the guy.
- Mr.
Medina's not the guy? - I don't know.
He might be.
But right now, it's just you and me.
And sometimes Lane.
I'm gonna go wake the man up.
Your mom let me spend the night here.
I tried calling you all night, but the phones didn't work until morning.
- That's okay.
I understand.
- Lane, I'm so sorry.
I've been the worst friend lately.
No, I just wigged out a little.
I get jealous sometimes.
I mean, you seem to have this really great life going and I don't really fit in there.
That's not true.
You totally fit in.
- Yeah? - I'm talking Legos.
I hope so.
I will be better from now on, I promise.
- Twenty-four hours a day, at your disposal.
- Dean will love that.
Well, he'll have to.
You came first.
That's right.
I got dibs.
Okay.
I have to go home.
- Coffee at Luke's, 2:00? - You're on.
I wanna hear all about that hair-touching incident.
Yeah.
And I wanna hear the rest of the teacher-on-the-couch incident.
Deal.