Glamorous (2023) s01e08 Episode Script

["Get It While It's Hot" playing]
Something about having a boyfriend
just hits different than I expected.
It's not just the way
that he flashes his card
or how he always gets the door
but how people notice us
when we walk into the club.
How people notice me,
like I'm a member of the club.
Better step to me
'Fore time runs out ♪
[Marco] So check the list again, honey.
Because I am on it.
I am in the VIP now.
And I'm never coming out.
You can keep filming, but, uh
we gotta use my phone.
Maybe I'll just save this one to drafts.
Give me a shot
No, you better not sleep ♪
Better get it while it's hot ♪
Countdown 4-3-2-1
Better get it while it's hot! ♪
[groans]
You win, I'm up.
What's going on?
I was trying to make breakfast
for my boyfriend.
Bad news, I don't own food.
Oh, baby. It's okay.
I don't know how to cook.
And to circle back for just a sec,
I'm your boyfriend now?
Do we need another breakup to prove it?
I have a whole list of drag queens
I wanna meet.
- I can't afford it.
- Mm.
I mean, I can.
But let's just be boyfriends.
It's cheaper.
So, what do you got going on
this weekend, for the Fourth?
Ah. Sounds like I'm about to find out.
Well, I'm doing Provincetown
with some friends.
You know P-Town? Heard of it?
You mean the premier summer getaway
for drag shows
by queens you've kind of heard of?
Yeah, I've heard of it.
Well, you could come.
I would've invited you sooner
but, you know,
dramatic breakup, wall of silence
You wanna cross state lines with me?
Yeah, we'll get drunk on the beach,
get high with strangers,
eat some bad pizza.
You'll finally get to meet my friends.
We all got a house together there.
It'll be fun.
We can all see if we get along.
What, are you worried that we won't?
Of course not.
But you gotta admit,
you are a lot.
[scoffs]
Yes, you're a lot.
And I like all of it.
And so will they.
Just be chill and you'll be fine, okay?
Mm.
So wait, it's gonna be all of us
in one house all weekend?
What if they don't like my stories,
or my playlist,
or my 90-minute bathroom routine
in the morning?
- What if they hate me?
- They won't.
- Ah, but if they don't like me
- They will.
'Cause I do.
Mm.
I gotta run. My boss is jetting off
this weekend too.
I gotta help her pack. It's a whole thing.
Ugh. Okay, you go help her.
And then you go pack.
'Cause we're getting out of town.
Your bags are in the car,
your hotel and flight are confirmed.
And the entire office hopes
you enjoy your trip.
And then come back.
You're still doing that, right?
We all need a break personally
and professionally.
Is everyone at the office worried?
They wanna know
what's going on with the sale.
- Mm.
- Even me.
Are we still gonna have jobs next week,
or do you have
a secret plan up your sleeve?
Well, that's what this weekend is for.
Whatever happens, I will make sure
that you are all taken care of.
A reference from Madolyn
still means something.
Let me say that whatever choice
you make is yours, not ours.
- Car's ready, ma'am.
- [Madolyn] Yes.
- Did something happen with Teddy?
- It's a long story.
Let me know if I need to be reached.
Thank God, I still have you.
[suspenseful music playing]
Yes, Madolyn. Everything is handled.
Have a great trip.
Hi. How's she doing?
Did she mention the sale?
Maybe, why?
[scoffs] Which way is she leading?
Pro? Con?
You have to help me.
You're the only one that she's talking to.
Not Venetia, not even me.
You can convince her
to do the right thing.
Maybe the reason she trusts me is
I'm not trying
to convince her of anything.
Maybe you shouldn't either.
We can't let her blow off the sale.
Why not?
The Pride campaign was a huge hit.
Can't we just, like, use that?
Maybe we can sell somewhere else.
Surely we have other options.
Trust me, I wish we did.
I have made the calls,
crunched the numbers,
we are out of time.
If we don't accept Vendemiaire's offer
by EOD Tuesday,
they back out and we die.
Even if that's the truth,
she'll figure it out.
I trust her.
And you should too.
Marco, why don't you head out?
Get your weekend started early.
- Really? I can go?
- Yeah. I'm locked down here.
Ah!
Bye. [chuckles]
Leave the kid alone. He's doing his best.
We are days away from losing
everything we have worked for.
Marco's the only one
she'll listen to anymore.
Why aren't you worried?
[cell phone chimes]
Because I know Madolyn will do
what's best for the business.
She always does.
[Marco] Ben.
What's up?
How'd it go with the Spider Queen?
She's been taken care of.
Waterdeep is once again safe.
For now.
Any big plans this weekend?
I'm going to P-Town with some friends.
Fourth of July is basically
America's birthday.
And, well, after colonization,
slavery, genocide, Jim Crow,
and endless global militarism,
I consider this party a skip.
Hey, is everything good with you, with us?
We just haven't really talked
since the event,
and I thought we were good.
We're good. I'm good.
You said that you weren't looking
for anything serious
and neither am I.
So here we are.
Nothing serious.
Have fun in P-Town.
[clears throat]
Do you have it?
[gasps] The Glamorous formula archive?
Every recipe for everything
we make going back to day one.
Unmatched and untouched.
How did you get that?
I needed it for a special project.
And Madolyn trusts me.
Or at least she did.
This has to go down quick and clean.
She sees you have her formulas,
she gets scared, she sells,
nobody gets hurt.
Everyone wins.
That's all I want too.
Have a good weekend, Venetia.
And God bless America.
[toilet flushing]
Ben.
You know Marco.
Barely.
I'm not even on his close friends.
He could have a life I don't know about.
Yeah, but maybe you still know
what he's doing this weekend?
What's it matter?
The whole company is on the line.
The sale's hanging by a thread.
I have to talk my mother into signing,
and the only person she's talking to
[clears throat] is Marco.
So as much as I hate to admit it,
he's our only hope.
I have to talk Marco
into talking Madolyn into signing.
Wow. Sounds complicated.
No.
No, it's not. It's simple.
We run into him,
knock back a few margs,
then when his guard is down,
nudge him into seeing things my way.
That's a pathetic plan.
It's all that I've got.
You'll have to hop on a plane
if you wanna run into him
because he's going to P-Town this weekend.
"With friends." Who even has those?
Oh. P-Town? I can definitely do that.
I can work with that.
How do I run into him?
It's a big little town.
What if he never leaves his house?
You could stalk him on Grindr.
He's reliably on the grid.
You have Marco bookmarked?
He blocked me!
At first, it was so I could run into him,
now it's so I can avoid him.
Wait, Ben. Oh!
You beautiful boy.
Don't you see? We can use this.
We track Marco with your bookmark.
Run into him, buddy it up.
Talk him into saving the company.
I'm not going to P-Town this weekend.
Why not? It's a great gay getaway.
I don't wanna hang out with Marco, okay?
He dumped me at the Activation Event.
We were barely even dating.
But you still like him.
Right?
I try not to.
I try to act tough and cool,
like I don't care. But I do.
More than ever.
More than I should.
But it doesn't matter. He's so over me.
Maybe you just need another shot.
Maybe he needs to see another side of you.
In a different place, with shorts on.
Look, maybe it won't work.
Maybe he is over you.
Do you really wanna be
that guy sitting at home,
wondering what could have been?
Or do you wanna swoop in,
take a chance and maybe,
just maybe, win it all?
You're paying for everything.
Of course, I am.
Oh, my God.
Hug me back.
Come on, hug me back.
Okay.
- Marco, what's?
- I only have 18 hours to pack.
Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait.
I'm sure you'll make your flight.
Where are you going?
P-Town.
With my boyfriend.
Boyfriend? You've never
had one of those before.
I know. It has to be perfect.
I'm meeting his friends,
we're staying in one big house.
It's kind of like an audition
and I have to book.
This is weird.
I know, knits in the summer?
- What was I thinking?
- No, no, no.
This is weird.
You. Now.
You never care if people like you.
Not since you got your ears pierced
or walked outside with heels on,
or went to school
with your nails done the first time.
Well, I've never been in love either.
- Oh. This is love now?
- It could be.
I don't know.
He's trying for me.
And so I have to try for him.
- [cell phone chimes]
- Okay.
Whoa, whoa. What is all of this?
The office is closed.
It's nothing. Listen, go.
Have a good time.
And those boys will love you.
And if they don't, fuck them. Right?
- Right.
- Right.
Hi.
Can I help you?
Come on, I don't look that different.
The desk had to call me to let you up
and you're on the list.
What is this?
What? I'm just trying something new.
I didn't wanna worry about doing
my face when I'm on vacation.
But you love doing your face.
You have a special makeup
you only wear to bed.
A whole different bag, I've seen it.
[gasps] And what is up with those shoes?
[gasps]
Are those flats?
You can't wear heels in the sand.
You'll sink quicker
than a Kylie single in America.
It's just physics.
Are you doing this for me?
Think this is what I want?
When have I ever cared about that?
Do I look bad?
You look great.
Clean kiss.
I could get used to this.
[cell phone chimes]
Oh. Car's here. Let's go.
Guess this weekend's
gonna be full of surprises.
[pop music playing]
[Marco]
So wait, they're all just, like, in there?
Yep.
Wait, I need a second.
I have to practice being normal.
[clears throat]
How's this?
Great.
You're gonna kill the first day
of seventh grade.
You're not the one on trial here.
I'm the Roxie Hart.
Who's Roxie Hart?
Roxie Hart.
From Chicago?
Oh, I love Chicago.
Have you ever done Market Days?
The musical, not the city.
Is this a fight?
This is it.
Where is everyone?
Outside.
Remember, Roxie. You're not on trial here.
They're just a bunch of regular guys,
and we're gonna have a great time.
Okay?
Okay.
[techno music playing]
This is my boyfriend, Marco.
Hi, I'm Marco.
[Parker] Marco, this is Tony.
Not this.
- Cliff.
- Hello, Marco.
[both] We're the Jeffreys.
He's Jeffrey and I'm Geoffrey.
- Jeffrey.
- Right. And I'm Geoffrey.
- Jeffrey.
- That's me, he's Geoffrey.
- Jeffrey?
- Geoffrey.
Jeffrey.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Er. Ey.
- Er. Ey?
Jeffrey.
- What am I missing here?
- I don't know, just his name.
Why don't we hit the town? Get lunch.
- Sounds good to me.
- Okay.
Congrats on the new boy.
Wait, what does that make him?
The last boy.
You brought me on vacation with your ex?
The one who broke you?
That swore you off of dating?
If I didn't hang out with my exes,
I wouldn't have any friends.
Oh, and if I don't get along with him,
we can't date, right?
I didn't say that.
You didn't have to.
It doesn't matter
because you will. Just
Give him a chance. Please?
[groans]
I'll try.
Thank you.
Are we closer to Marco
than we were before?
Maybe we need to circle back.
Okay, do you even want to find Marco?
Of course, I can't wait for him
to see through your weird plan
and barely tolerate our presence.
That's what's gonna happen.
- It's obvious.
- Okay.
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
We all know you're on steroids.
Uh, no, I'm a little bit of a nag at work,
but in real life I'm actually popular.
Do you know why?
'Cause you're tall, hot, rich, and white?
Because I have a good attitude.
I always have. So people like me.
And if you have a good attitude
and bring it into the weekend,
then people will like you too.
And you'll win.
So we'll take this big gloomy thing
that you have going on,
sort it into the correct bin,
and go into this weekend
with the right attitude, okay?
Most recycling goes to the dump.
The right attitude.
Oh, wait. We're closer.
Already better. Let's go.
I've got pills for tonight,
tabs for tomorrow,
and plenty of Kelly and Clarkson.
I even have some extra for the new kid.
Does he want any?
We don't know. He's new.
He's right here, you can ask.
- [Jeffrey] He's so quiet.
- You scared?
What do you wanna know? Ask.
I don't know
How do you guys know each other?
- Just from being gay.
- Not this.
Okay, we know Cliff from Barry's,
Cliff knows Tony from school,
Tony knows Parker from their dealer,
we have a share with Parker.
Had a share. Nice work with the deposit.
Like I said, from being gay.
And then they dated. Who can forget?
We went on some dates.
Oh, my gosh.
You cannot be serious right now.
Do you wanna relitigate this now?
I can get out my phone, read texts.
Not this.
It was messy.
[Cliff] It was cute.
We met at the gym
and then kept running into each other.
Either working out, or at Starbucks.
Sometimes it was even by accident.
Me too.
At first it was just about the sex,
but eventually I wore him down.
Even with all his little excuses and lies.
So I eventually got the guy.
For a minute.
Then what happened?
[Chad] Oh, my God! Marco?
Is that you?
Chad?
- Ben?
- Hey, Marco.
Hope this isn't weird.
Even though we all know it is.
What are you doing here?
Celebrating our nation's birthday.
You? Who are these guys?
Uh, right, sorry.
This is Chad and this is Ben.
I know them from work.
These are my friends.
Parker, Tony, Cliff,
and these are the Jeffreys.
Well, he's Jeffrey. I'm Geoffrey.
Geoffrey.
[Jeffrey] Stop it.
You're friends with Chad?
Yeah, yeah. Uh, uh
He was in my D&D campaign.
In your campaign?
Mm.
You killed the Spider Queen?
I kicked her eight-legged ass.
Where are you staying?
- We got a house.
- With a pool.
Ah. Well, then let's hang.
Jesus Christ.
We never do this. It'll be fun.
I don't think we can, right?
It's not up to me.
I'm good.
[both] We're in.
Not this.
[Chad chuckles]
We brought a little surprise this weekend.
Not this.
There will be a drag breakfast
in the house before the weekend's over.
Attendance is mandatory,
in drag, no exceptions.
You better turn it out.
Especially the new kid.
- I will give it a shot, Jeffrey.
- [Jeffrey] What?
He meant me.
But he said me.
[Chad] Marco, honest question.
Am I pulling this off?
You need to leave. And take Ben with you.
Ow! Why? Are you scared he's gonna
beat you in the drag competition?
- You should be. He's very competitive.
- Chad, Parker is my boyfriend.
These are his friends.
I need them to like me.
You and Ben being here isn't helping.
That's what this whole make-under
is about?
[chuckles] You're trying to fit in?
No, I'm just trying something new.
- But is it for the right reasons?
- Just leave.
We haven't even gotten a chance
to hang out yet.
So much to talk about.
Like life and work,
and how you should tell my mom
to take the deal.
Wait. Is that what this is all about?
You and Ben are trying to manipulate me?
Oh, no, just me.
Ben's here to win you back.
He is?
Oh. That is so much worse.
He doesn't know about Parker.
He's gonna snap.
Okay, look.
You want these people to like you,
I can help with that.
I know I come across
a certain way at work,
but in real life I'm actually popular.
Ew. I'm not gonna help you
manipulate Madolyn.
[groans] Okay, Marco.
I know we've had our differences.
I tried to get you fired.
You slowly emotionally alienated
my mother from me.
But when have I wanted something
that wasn't for the good of the company?
- GlamCoin.
- When else?
We can help each other.
But Ben
Will find out about your boyfriend
one way or the other.
At least now you can do it
on your own terms.
[footsteps approaching]
Hell yes.
Ew.
Hey, computer boy.
It's kind of weird seeing you here.
I mean, good too.
It's good to see you too.
I mean, if that is you.
Ha, ha. I dress like this all the time,
thank you very much,
you just don't see it.
I guess I miss a lot.
Like them.
I did not think that Hell's Kitchen gays
were your scene.
They weren't.
Until I, um
started fooling around with one.
The blond one?
Yeah.
Is he your boyfriend?
What? Oh, my God, no, no. No.
I told him I wasn't looking
for anything serious.
He's just this guy.
He's fun.
And I've seen his butt a bunch. You know.
You don't care, right?
I've seen your butt too.
It's good.
No, I mean, who cares?
It's not like I came
to win you back or something.
Hey, let's just have fun, right?
Yeah, right.
You sure you dress like this all the time?
Yes. Why?
Your phone won't even unlock right now.
I'm on this thing way too much anyway.
Okay.
Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna change.
See you out there?
Yeah.
Guys. Hey, guys! Everyone in the pool.
Everyone in the pool!
Gotta get this weekend started!
Not this.
Hey, dummies, Tea is at 4:00
and we have to get there
before the rain starts.
We can't hang out here all day.
[shouting]
Cliff's right.
We can't hang out here all day.
Cliff needs to unclench, like always.
[pop music playing]
[shouting]
Hey, that's the spirit, pal.
[all cheering]
Okay, he's here.
He's single.
He wants you to go for it.
So go for it.
I could have sworn
I've met you boys before.
Were you at Horse Meat Disco?
We were at Occupy The Disco.
Maybe it was Paradisco?
Best two hours we ever spent in line.
You don't have wristbands?
No. And you do?
Of course. I'll set you up. I know Tad.
You can get us wristbands?
Of course, I can.
I take care of my friends.
- Oh!
- [all groaning]
Oh, Ben. Are you okay?
- [Ben] No, I'm good. It's nothing.
- [all groaning]
What?
Don't worry. I'll be fine.
It happens all the time.
I just need to sit here and clot.
If I ruin your weekend,
I'm gonna hate myself.
Hey, you can never.
Okay?
Thanks.
Of course.
You sure you two just work together?
'Cause I do have ears and eyes.
I mean, maybe we sort of fooled around
and went out a little.
But only when you and I were fighting.
Like the time you sent flowers.
And when I came home rolling.
That's it.
This is another game, isn't?
You put me in my place.
I hate this crap.
This is why I don't do relationships.
No, I'm not, I swear.
I thought we were past all that.
'Cause I don't do
the whole meet-my-boyfriend thing a lot.
This is hard for me.
You didn't set this whole thing up
just to get in my head, did you?
He's just this guy I know from work.
He's been chasing me all year.
Look, I'm not even into it.
It's pathetic.
So this whole time, you had a side piece.
So cute.
Okay, but he doesn't know
anything about it, so please
Babe, what do you think I am? An asshole?
We are not litigating that.
I'll play nice.
For you.
- Promise.
- Mm-hm.
[thunder rumbling]
Okay, boys. we have to leave for Tea now
before the rain starts.
Cliff is right, we have to go.
They're gonna move indoors,
then they're gonna hit capacity.
I know, but we're gonna do shots first.
- And then we'll get ready, right?
- [Geoffrey] Yeah.
Aw. Please, please, please.
We swear, we swear, we swear.
No, we need to leave.
You've had your fun,
maybe we'll meet up later.
All right. [clears throat]
- Ben, get your stuff. We'll take off.
- [groans]
Thank you.
I did my part, now you do yours.
No fun being the grown-up, huh?
You put so much work into this weekend,
I don't want anyone ruining it.
Wow, you really want me to like you.
Well, I mean, yeah.
'Cause I know
what this whole weekend is about.
No one's gonna outright say it,
but it's a test, right?
Probably.
But seriously, calm down.
You're definitely gonna pass.
Congrats on getting Parker
to take you out of town,
that's way more than we ever got to do.
What happened with you two?
Oh. I'm not doing that.
I'm not giving you the full
Parker-relationship walk-through guide.
You're gonna have to get
to the final boss on your own.
But, hey,
you have noticed
that he gets crazy jealous, right?
No, not really.
Seriously?
Because he can get really intense
when he doesn't get his way.
Well, he did kind of buy me a drag queen
one time to get my attention.
Okay.
Well, just keep him happy, okay?
Because, trust me,
he's way more fun that way.
[thunder crashing]
And it's raining.
We can still make it.
We'll get drenched.
Um, it's coming down pretty hard.
Maybe we could run?
[all shouting]
Not this!
Happy now?
It's gonna rain another hour.
My phone says three.
Everyone is at this party.
- There's a dark room in the basement.
- [all groaning]
Maybe we could play a game.
Oh, did I come to P-Town
to play Quiplash with my friends?
No. I came to do drugs with strangers.
He was trying to help.
Okay, turn down the roid rage, Shaun Cody.
If it wasn't
for you distracting us all day,
we would've left on time
and we'd be in a basement
right now doing things,
instead of here doing nothing.
Not this.
Hey. Things got a little tense back there.
You guys should go.
It's a one-way ticket to Oz out there.
We can't leave.
I need these guys to like me
and you are ruining everything.
If I have to walk out of here
into that rain to save this deal, I will.
But do you really wanna change yourself
for some guy you're dating
and his friends?
I don't know.
Okay, I haven't done this before.
Yeah, well,
I'm not exactly Mr. Relationship,
but I know you.
And this isn't you.
If you wanna know
what these guys really think of you,
if he's worth it,
show them who you really are.
What?
I have an idea.
Let's do a lip-sync contest.
We have the drag trunk,
and there's nothing else to do.
Come on, let's see who turns it out.
- Oh, I'm in.
- Me too.
Why not?
[Cliff] Interesting.
So, what's the plan?
We just pick a song and lip-sync to it?
No.
We're doing a group number.
But there's only six parts.
- [both] We can double up.
- That still leaves one over.
I'll judge.
No one needs to see me in heels.
Great. I'll send the song
and all of your parts into the group chat.
I'll teach you all how to do your makeup.
Showtime's in an hour, let's go.
- You heard her, come on.
- I want a red lip.
- Stunning.
- [Chad] Time to put on dresses.
Hey, I thought we were giving that
a break this weekend?
Thought you didn't care.
Hey, thanks for getting the ball rolling.
You gonna be good to do this
with your nose?
Yeah. Just don't throw anything else
at me and I'm good.
Ah!
- I'm gonna throw this away.
- Hey. Um
I'm not just fooling around with Parker.
We're dating.
[pensive music playing]
You okay?
I'm
surprised.
Me too.
I wasn't planning on him.
It just kind of all happened fast.
I don't want it to come between us.
Then it won't.
We're better than friends.
We're
us.
Pobrecito.
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
["Cell Block Tango" playing over speakers]
[lip-synching] Pop ♪
Six ♪
Squish ♪
Uh-uh ♪
Cicero ♪
Lipschitz ♪
He had it comin'
He had it comin' ♪
He only had himself to blame ♪
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it ♪
I betcha you would have done the same ♪
You know how people have
these little habits that get you down? ♪
Like Bernie
Bernie liked to chew gum ♪
No, not chew, pop ♪
I come home this one day ♪
And there's Bernie
Layin' on the couch, chewin' ♪
No, not chewin', poppin' ♪
So I said to him, I said
"Bernie, you pop that gum one more time" ♪
And he did ♪
So I took the shotgun off the wall ♪
And I fired two warning shots ♪
Into his head ♪
He had it comin'
He had it comin' ♪
He only had himself to blame ♪
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City
About two years ago ♪
And he told me he was single
And we hit it off right away ♪
Then I found out single, my ass ♪
Not only was he married
Well, he had six wives ♪
So that night when he came home ♪
I mixed him his drink as usual ♪
Some guys just can't hold
Their arsenic ♪
He had it comin'
He had it comin' ♪
He took a flower in its prime ♪
And then he used it
And he abused it ♪
It was a murder
It was not a crime ♪
Cicero, Lipschitz ♪
Now I'm standing in the kitchen
Carving up the chicken for dinner ♪
In storms my husband Wilbur
In a jealous rage ♪
"You been screwin' the milkman," he says
And he kept sayin' ♪
"You been screwin' the milkman" ♪
Then he ran into my knife
He ran into my knife ten times ♪
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it ♪
I betcha you would have done the same! ♪
[lip-synching Hungarian]
But did you do it? ♪
Uh-uh, not guilty! ♪
He had it coming ♪
My sister Veronica and I
Did this double act ♪
And my husband Charlie
Traveled around with us ♪
The last number in our act ♪
We did these
20 acrobatic tricks in a row ♪
Splits, spread eagles
Flip-flops, backflips ♪
One right after the other ♪
Well, this one night we were in Cicero
The three of us ♪
And we were in this hotel room, boozin'
And havin' a few laughs ♪
And we run out of ice ♪
So I went out to get some ♪
I come back, open the door ♪
There's Veronica and Charlie ♪
Doing number 17 ♪
The spread eagle ♪
I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later ♪
When I was washing
The blood off my hands ♪
I even knew they were dead ♪
They had it comin'
They had it comin' ♪
They had it comin' all along ♪
I didn't do it ♪
But if I'd done it ♪
How could you tell me
That I was wrong? ♪
I loved Alvin Lipschitz ♪
He was a real artistic guy ♪
Sensitive, a painter ♪
But he was always
Trying to find himself ♪
And on the way
He found Ruth, Gladys, and Irving ♪
I guess you can say we broke up ♪
Because of artistic differences ♪
He saw himself as alive
And I saw him dead ♪
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪
They had it comin'
They had it comin' ♪
They had it comin' all along ♪
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us ♪
How could you tell us
That we were wrong? ♪
He had it comin'
He had it comin' ♪
He only had himself to blame ♪
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it ♪
I betcha you would have done ♪
The same ♪
Boys, I'm sorry, but I don't know
how to pick a winner.
[all laughing]
[all] Uh, Marco!
Are you blind? It's Marco.
He did the splits in heels.
How the hell did you do that?
I guess I've had some practice.
I think we should do it again.
But this time if we
Wait, I think the rain stopped.
Is the party still going?
Yes, we can still make it.
- Take off all this shit, let's go.
- Not this!
I think we're gonna head out.
We are?
[Chad] Yeah, we probably should.
Uh, you and I are good about
that thing we discussed, right?
Yes, Chad.
You and I are good with that thing.
You guys can still come. You should.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
Uh, don't they have to go?
Well, maybe we should.
No, no. They can still come. Come.
We're having fun.
You win.
I can never win a fight with this kid.
- Shots?
- Oh, yeah.
I remember our first fight,
our first real fight.
He was playing games, trying
to hook me in for something serious.
I just liked the sex.
But Marco wanted more.
They don't really need to hear this.
It was a standoff, and he won.
I broke first.
And I invited him over.
And he was at this underwear party too.
Rolling his balls off. [laughing]
It was cute.
So you've been dating all summer?
On and off
and on and off.
But we kind of figured it out
after your work party, right?
- Last week?
- [Parker] Yeah.
Yeah.
He came over and we decided,
"Hey, let's really do this."
Oh, wow, that sounds
serious.
Well, I
Why don't we go to the party
and we can meet them?
I mean, I know
there's some other guy chasing him around,
but it's pathetic, right?
That's what you said.
Pathetic.
I'm the only one left
and that's what matters.
[Marco] No, Ben. I
What? He doesn't want a shot?
Real cute.
Hey, if he doesn't matter,
why are you running after him?
- Ben.
- You've been dating him all summer?
It's not that simple.
You didn't want anything serious,
then you went and took him back!
- I didn't wanna hurt you.
- So you lied?
So you called me pathetic?
You're not pathetic.
Yeah. Yes.
I am.
It's so pathetic
that I could fall for someone like you.
You know, when we met,
I saw swagger and charm and attitude.
I saw someone
who wasn't afraid of anything.
And it was all a lie.
You're not brave.
You want the jocks to like you.
You want that to like you.
God, the whole time
that I was chasing after you,
you were chasing after that!
You were changing yourself for that.
Please don't hate me.
I still don't hate you.
I hate me.
For falling for
this.
And for the record,
your new look sucks.
You need all that shit on your face
because you are
the ugliest person that I know.
["Give My Regards to Broadway" playing]