Gravity s01e08 Episode Script
Damn Skippy
Previously on Gravity I would like you to come in for a colonoscopy previouas soon as possible.
Shawna Rollins Life coach.
- Life coach? - A teenager? Are you seriously trying to tell me you're not gonna give me a 100 dollars bet on the mets? What are you doing opening up a store? You have an idea.
Feels like you're my daughter.
Wallet snooping.
I'm jonesing to grab that from you.
Miller: You're gonna submerge completely under the water.
Just focus on the sound of your breathing.
Whoa! What the fuck, man? Whoa! Relax! You're fine.
What do you mean I'm fine? Fuck you, I'm fine! Okay, you're freaking out.
Do you see that? Yeah, do you see how you were holding my head underwater So I can't breathe? Do you see that? How you handle adversity is the same in every situation Whether it's big or small.
If you have such a short fuse from just a little bit of From a little bit of you trying to kill me? Huh? I'm your friend.
You know me.
I'm a police officer.
Do you really think that I would try to drown you to death In the jacuzzi in my home? Of course not.
Which means that you just jump To the worst-possible conclusion.
That's your default mechanism.
That's where you go.
You send that toxic, negative fear energy To your cell structure, and everywhere, You are killing yourself.
On that one, yogi master, You are definitely not the authority, And I don't appreciate that kind of a lesson.
What a fucking asshole you are.
Here, add that to your collection.
Robert.
Come on.
Robert? Fuck you.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was I, honestly, I was just trying to help you.
Don't break up with me.
[ chuckles .]
Morning sex was that good, huh? You're glowing.
Miller must know all your special places.
I'm sorry I didn't make it back over last night.
I'll tell you all about it.
It was weird.
I was disappointed.
I missed you.
Okay.
Okay, everyone have a seat, please.
I'm very proud of all of you.
It's our secrets that will kill us, Especially the deep, dark ones.
So, do you want us to tell a secret? Carla: That's exactly what he wants.
I'll go first.
Lately, I feel like I might be schizophrenic.
[ clears throat .]
My dick is too big.
[ laughter .]
Don't tell you that.
It's not funny.
[ laughter stops .]
Before I climbed into my father's trunk I thought about setting my parents' bedroom on fire.
Since I was a little kid, I've always wanted to write a comic book about a superhero.
He was a superhero who didn't care that his dad left.
Yeah, but my mother insisted that I become a doctor.
She said that if I did, maybe my father would come back.
Um, I mouth the automated subway announcements Along with the robot lady like I'm a ventriloquist's dummy.
You can sit down, Shawna.
[ laughs .]
sorry.
I'm not 100% sure that I have a soul.
[ cellphone rings .]
[ cellphone beeps .]
Miller.
Jane: Hi, Mr.
Miller.
This is Jane from Dr.
Tepperman's office Calling to remind you about your colonoscopy.
After lunch today, no more solid foods Only clear liquids And at 6:00, you start with the soda laxative.
Thank you, Jane.
I appreciate you.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Carla: If you don't tell the truth, Then it's like what's the point of even absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hold on a second.
Oh, I got you, Dogg.
It's okay.
No, I don't need your help.
Look, jorge, I said I don't need your help! [ grunts .]
There.
That should hold it for a while.
You send me the bill.
You know, big dude needs a new ride.
He's broke.
Carla has an idea! We are all dumping ourCrap.
Why don't we really do it by having a garage sale at my house And then we can buy him a fancy new chair And he doesn't even have to know who it's from? Lily thinks Carla has a great idea.
Yay! [ laughs .]
Lily.
Your store is going to be amazing.
Thank you so much for helping me, jorge.
I owe you big.
[ horn honks .]
[ horn honks .]
Miller: Vegan pizza.
It's my last meal before I get hoovered out By a 10-foot-long steel hose.
Why don't you invite your boyfriend, then? [ chuckles .]
he broke up with me.
Really? Why? I don't know.
Oh, you don't know? Not on account of you trying to drown him During your weird water-sacrifice ritual whatever? Get your coat.
When did he tell you about it? Today.
After our group.
Wait, so he didn't go back to your house After he left my place? How did you know he was with me Before he went over to your place? Intuition honed by years of investigatory expertise.
And I heard you say "tell Miller to fuck off" On the background on the phone.
You know, it's kind of weird That he would leave hanging out with you To hang out with me.
I mean, if I was hanging out with you, Doing pretty much anything, that would be my first choice.
I mean, in the beginning, You know, when we were falling in love You know, like you two are.
Then, what? After three months, it would just be football and porn? Long, leisurely love-making sessions Would be replaced by quick head before work More often than not, yes.
Baby, I'm just keepin' it real.
One very lucky woman awaits.
Damn skippy.
What? Never heard anybody use that expression Besides me and katharine hepburn.
Thanks, man.
Okay.
Enough is enough.
What? I'm only human.
What? Oh, you have a daughter? No, that's my mom when she was little.
Oh, my God.
What an amazing picture.
Is she still alive? Is this a joke? I'm sorry about your mother.
Thanks.
How old were you? I found her.
[ inhales sharply .]
How old was she? I'm 27.
So you were raised by your dad, or [ scoffs .]
no, he was never in the picture.
I was raised in the system till I was 18, And then I became a cop so I could investigate her murder.
They all said it was suicide, but I never believed that.
Well, I'm sure it's not easy for a little boy To believe that his mother chose to leave him.
She was murdered.
Hey, listen, I got to get going.
What? Wait.
We didn't even eat our pizza on our on our bench.
Yeah, we're having a garage sale for the leader of our group And I got to get some stuff, so You want a ride? No, I'm good.
Yo! I may be out of line, but I like you And I don't want to see you get hurt When you're clearly doing so well Putting your life back together.
For my money, that guy is not close To being over his dead wife.
In the future, when in doubt, you are out of line.
Thanks.
[ loudly .]
I'm bored! Shh! Look, here she comes.
Just no talking and drink your milkshake.
Sorry I'm late.
Are you? No, I'm really not.
You know, betsy, If you want to have a successful relationship, You need to start with you Or you're never gonna get married.
You're not gonna have the two kids, the nanny, The husband that's the lawyer, or Dentist.
Dentist.
And why the dentist again? The kids will need braces.
I come from a long line of overbites.
We're getting off track.
Let's get back to you being late.
UmYou disrespect other people's time when you are late.
It's rude, and you're kind of acting superior.
You're right.
I'm always only thinking of myself.
It's so confusing.
I mean, you tell me to take care of myself first, But in order to do that, I have to be late, a I worry, And that's why I have these wrinkles in my forehead And I don't sleep well, and I just Holy fuck! Shit.
What's up? Hi, I'm adam rosenblum.
I'm Shawna's boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Yeah, let's get real for a second, lady.
You are currently your own worst enemy.
If you meet a guy who makes your heart race And yet also calms you down simultaneously, Then that means there is a-a chemical connection.
And if you're one of the few, few lucky people On this planet that gets to experience something like that, Then, I mean, what the fuck do you care If he works at fucking home depot? [ scoffs .]
what do you do for a living? He's mine.
Next time, bring him.
[ sighs .]
[ chuckles .]
So, uh [ clears throat .]
Are we gonna do it soon or what? I mean, we've been going steady for like a week now, And I've only copped third base over the pants.
[ chuckles .]
I'm a laughingstock.
I got quicker trim in the 7th grade.
Come on, Mrs.
Robinson.
Give up the woo.
Please.
If you screamed "virgin" any louder, you'd resurrect mary.
Do you have my check, please? Thanks.
Okay, that's a grand.
Give that to mike.
That squares us on my tab for this month, okay? Thank you.
Thanks a lot, man.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Man: Yeah? Yeah, hey, this is Miller.
What do you got on the game tonight? You're shut down until you pay me what you already owe.
Oh, just give me the fucking game.
You've known me for years.
Where the fuck am I gonna go? You already owe 100 g's.
I got 24 grand on me.
And the other 76? Look, just give me the fucking game.
I'll meet you after the game whether I win or lose, okay? If I win, I'll give you the 24 grand, And I'll still owe you 76.
If I lose, I'll give you the 24 grand, And I'll still owe you 100, and you know I'm good for it.
We're not a fucking bank.
Stop being such a fucking cunt, okay? I've given you a lot of fucking money.
Give me the goddamn game.
All right.
Hold on a second.
Listen, I got a colonoscopy later.
I'm supposed to take some fucking powder shit Or something.
Pharmacist: Uh, fourth shelf down.
Right here? Mm-hmm.
All right, so, listen what do you got on the game tonight? The giants are 8-115 and the raiders No, stay away from them fucking bitch raiders.
Give me the giants for 24 grand straight.
Midnight at west way.
Yeah, I'm gonna meet you.
24k! Bye.
Sorry.
So, how do I take this stuff? Every two hours.
It tastes disgusting, so be prepared, And, oh, by the way, don't be too far from a commode Because once it kicks in [ chuckles .]
Fuck.
I'm pissing, I'm shitting, I'm fucking drooling.
I fucking wipe my ass 10 times a day Even though I'm fucking clean.
I can't see shit.
How come no one tells you this shit starts at 35 and not 75? It's our only revenge.
[ chuckles .]
[ footsteps approaching .]
It's father, Dolly.
Should we hide? Too late.
So, you're still talking to things that aren't human? I talk to you, don't I? Sorry.
Habit.
You need money? Why do you always ask me that? 'cause you're taking the dolls.
I figure you're gonna put them on ebay or something.
Actually, they're going to help someone Who's in even mo need than me.
Yeah, well, I kind of like having them around.
Why? This may come as a surprise to you.
Why? Because, I don't know.
I liked things the way they were A long, long time ago.
You're right.
I am surprised.
What was there to like? You were such a scary child Provocative, withdrawn.
But your eyes Whenever I look into your eyes, I see your mother.
So, you sure you don't need some money? I have a lot of it.
I'm gonna have an opening for my store in a few weeks If you wanted to come.
You're still gonna go with the dead people's clothes? Yeah.
[ chuckles .]
Well I guess I could take an allergy pill or something.
I guess you could do that.
[ indistinct conversations .]
Anyone need change? I got change.
Anybody? Change? Okay.
Right here! Who needs change? I got change.
You guys need change? Let's play hot-dog vendor tonight.
Change! So, um, I think that's your best bet Is to go home and do it.
I know this is very, very uncomfortable For you to talk about.
You need to go home and fucking bang her.
Okay.
Next? Hey.
Meet me in the hall bathroom in five minutes.
[ knock on door .]
Oh, my God! [ moans .]
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
[ chuckles .]
Oh, oh! [ both moaning pleasurably .]
Oh! Oh, fuck! Oh! Shit! Best garage sale I've been to in years.
Uh [ both chuckle .]
Your bad's not too bad.
This has to be so wrong.
No, no.
It does not have to be wrong.
You were amazing.
Well, my age belies my desire to please.
Oh, just shut up and fuck me again.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
In 20 years, it'll take you a month to get hard The second time.
[ both moaning pleasurably .]
[ toilet flushes .]
[ giggles .]
Dude? Hey.
You guys showed.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
Wow.
I never thought you'd part with some of this shit.
[ chuckles .]
Hi.
I'm Lily.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Amanda.
Nice to meet you.
It's okay.
You guys don't have to like me.
[ chuckles nervously .]
[ chuckles .]
what do you mean? We like you.
They like you.
Um, how much is the makeup? Oh, please.
So have you made it through the gauntlet yet? Hurricane henrietta? No.
I haven't met her.
She will tonight.
She is? If she's good.
Brad: Oh, look at him run.
The 30! Okay.
He's all alone at the 20! The 10! Touchdown! Go! Go! That's what I'm fucking talking about! Man: Miraculous touchdown! That's what I'm fucking talking about! Steve smith from eli manning, right down the middle.
Ow! Man.
Get the fuck! Unbelievable! It's now 20-17.
Miraculous comeback for the giants.
Unbelievable.
We're set up on the field for the snap.
And extra point is up And it's good.
Giants lead now 21-17.
Oh, man.
This is a spectacular game today.
It certainly is there, brad.
[ farts .]
And it's a 35-yard attempt.
One fucking time, man Come on! One fucking time! One time! Both teams set up, And the kick is up and He missed it! Oh! Oh! Wow! He missed it.
That is devastating.
Fuck! Motherfuck! In a pressure situation, he has choked.
And tonight, the giants have held on For a big divisional win by 7, 24-17.
Oh! Fuck! Fuck you! [ farts .]
[ farts, sighs .]
And the second game of our season opener Of "Monday night football" will start in just 15 minutes With the oakland raiders taking on the san diego chargers.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Sports.
This is fred.
What's your password? Cm1322.
Listen, my account's empty, But if I wire you money now, can I get in on the second game? As long as it gets here in 13 minutes, sure.
Okay.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Excuse me.
Police business.
Move.
Police business! 24 grand mailed to that account right now.
You need to fill out a form.
Look, I'll give you 100 bucks If you make it happen in the next 60 seconds.
Hurry up! Sports.
This is alice.
What's your password? Cm1322.
Listen, you should have just got how much? $22,865.
22,865 bucks in my account.
I just wired it.
Let me check.
I don't I don't see it yet.
She doesn't see it.
Did it go through? It went through.
He said it went through.
Oh, yes.
There it is.
All right, put it all on the raiders straight.
Raiders straight.
You're in.
How am I doing? I like the mix of vintage with your boho chic.
Who are you? [ laughs .]
I read my fashion magazines.
He doesn't know me at all.
That seems to be a running theme.
No, no.
Not there.
Closer to me.
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
He doesn't get his humor from me.
You aren't funny? Well, of course I am.
In my own style.
What about you? I never thought about whether or not I was funny.
No.
Not the question.
Tell me what I should know Quickly, before robert makes his exit.
I'm in no hurry.
I bet you're so grateful that robert is your son.
I'll bet, typically, when you see him, You hug him and tell him how proud you are Of all those years struggling in medical school When he really wanted just to write comic books.
I'll bet you think of new questions every day to ask him Because there is never enough time in life To really get to know someone Something that We learned the hard way.
But from that experience comes a gratitude For being here For being able to be loved.
Familial love is so precious.
But I'm sorry.
I didn't answer your question, did I? Because all of those things you already know.
I think it's time you see where I live.
The much-anticipated home opener of the raiders not good.
Getting beat by 42 is not the way They wanted to start their season.
Fuck! Fuck! Excuse me, bro.
Yeah, I'll just be a second.
Listen, either fill up your fucking bottle in the sink Or when you feel people here, you know, Fucking move over and let them in.
Move.
Loca samasta suki no babantu.
Loca samasta suki no babantu.
[ farts .]
Fuck! Open the door! Man: Someone's in here.
Okay, open the fucking door.
One second, please.
Open the door now! You fuck off! What the [ farting .]
Oh, fuck! Look, are you out of your fucking mind? Dude, I'm sorry.
That one? That one's on me.
That's my bad.
No shit.
You ever had a colonoscopy? T-that fucking shit they make you drink the night before? That's what's going on here.
I don't give a fuck.
[ cellphone beeps .]
I'm getting the fucking manager.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Hey, saperstein? Yeah, baby, I got my new wheels.
Yeah! What's in the "super stupid" box? Nothing.
It's stupid.
Been there a long time.
It's nothing, really.
But the reason I brought you here Is because I want you to have these clothes.
For your store.
I mean, if you want them.
[ chuckles .]
I'll take good care of him.
[ rachel yamagata's "elephants" plays .]
if the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember it's no wonder how they scream like you and I, they must have some temper You do have a soul.
I am dreaming of them on the plane dirtying up if the hawks in the trees need the dead if you're living, you don't stand a chance for a time, though you share the same bed there are only two ends to this dance you can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed so for those of you falling in love keep it kind, keep it good, ep it right throw yourself in the midst of danger
Shawna Rollins Life coach.
- Life coach? - A teenager? Are you seriously trying to tell me you're not gonna give me a 100 dollars bet on the mets? What are you doing opening up a store? You have an idea.
Feels like you're my daughter.
Wallet snooping.
I'm jonesing to grab that from you.
Miller: You're gonna submerge completely under the water.
Just focus on the sound of your breathing.
Whoa! What the fuck, man? Whoa! Relax! You're fine.
What do you mean I'm fine? Fuck you, I'm fine! Okay, you're freaking out.
Do you see that? Yeah, do you see how you were holding my head underwater So I can't breathe? Do you see that? How you handle adversity is the same in every situation Whether it's big or small.
If you have such a short fuse from just a little bit of From a little bit of you trying to kill me? Huh? I'm your friend.
You know me.
I'm a police officer.
Do you really think that I would try to drown you to death In the jacuzzi in my home? Of course not.
Which means that you just jump To the worst-possible conclusion.
That's your default mechanism.
That's where you go.
You send that toxic, negative fear energy To your cell structure, and everywhere, You are killing yourself.
On that one, yogi master, You are definitely not the authority, And I don't appreciate that kind of a lesson.
What a fucking asshole you are.
Here, add that to your collection.
Robert.
Come on.
Robert? Fuck you.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was I, honestly, I was just trying to help you.
Don't break up with me.
[ chuckles .]
Morning sex was that good, huh? You're glowing.
Miller must know all your special places.
I'm sorry I didn't make it back over last night.
I'll tell you all about it.
It was weird.
I was disappointed.
I missed you.
Okay.
Okay, everyone have a seat, please.
I'm very proud of all of you.
It's our secrets that will kill us, Especially the deep, dark ones.
So, do you want us to tell a secret? Carla: That's exactly what he wants.
I'll go first.
Lately, I feel like I might be schizophrenic.
[ clears throat .]
My dick is too big.
[ laughter .]
Don't tell you that.
It's not funny.
[ laughter stops .]
Before I climbed into my father's trunk I thought about setting my parents' bedroom on fire.
Since I was a little kid, I've always wanted to write a comic book about a superhero.
He was a superhero who didn't care that his dad left.
Yeah, but my mother insisted that I become a doctor.
She said that if I did, maybe my father would come back.
Um, I mouth the automated subway announcements Along with the robot lady like I'm a ventriloquist's dummy.
You can sit down, Shawna.
[ laughs .]
sorry.
I'm not 100% sure that I have a soul.
[ cellphone rings .]
[ cellphone beeps .]
Miller.
Jane: Hi, Mr.
Miller.
This is Jane from Dr.
Tepperman's office Calling to remind you about your colonoscopy.
After lunch today, no more solid foods Only clear liquids And at 6:00, you start with the soda laxative.
Thank you, Jane.
I appreciate you.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Carla: If you don't tell the truth, Then it's like what's the point of even absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hold on a second.
Oh, I got you, Dogg.
It's okay.
No, I don't need your help.
Look, jorge, I said I don't need your help! [ grunts .]
There.
That should hold it for a while.
You send me the bill.
You know, big dude needs a new ride.
He's broke.
Carla has an idea! We are all dumping ourCrap.
Why don't we really do it by having a garage sale at my house And then we can buy him a fancy new chair And he doesn't even have to know who it's from? Lily thinks Carla has a great idea.
Yay! [ laughs .]
Lily.
Your store is going to be amazing.
Thank you so much for helping me, jorge.
I owe you big.
[ horn honks .]
[ horn honks .]
Miller: Vegan pizza.
It's my last meal before I get hoovered out By a 10-foot-long steel hose.
Why don't you invite your boyfriend, then? [ chuckles .]
he broke up with me.
Really? Why? I don't know.
Oh, you don't know? Not on account of you trying to drown him During your weird water-sacrifice ritual whatever? Get your coat.
When did he tell you about it? Today.
After our group.
Wait, so he didn't go back to your house After he left my place? How did you know he was with me Before he went over to your place? Intuition honed by years of investigatory expertise.
And I heard you say "tell Miller to fuck off" On the background on the phone.
You know, it's kind of weird That he would leave hanging out with you To hang out with me.
I mean, if I was hanging out with you, Doing pretty much anything, that would be my first choice.
I mean, in the beginning, You know, when we were falling in love You know, like you two are.
Then, what? After three months, it would just be football and porn? Long, leisurely love-making sessions Would be replaced by quick head before work More often than not, yes.
Baby, I'm just keepin' it real.
One very lucky woman awaits.
Damn skippy.
What? Never heard anybody use that expression Besides me and katharine hepburn.
Thanks, man.
Okay.
Enough is enough.
What? I'm only human.
What? Oh, you have a daughter? No, that's my mom when she was little.
Oh, my God.
What an amazing picture.
Is she still alive? Is this a joke? I'm sorry about your mother.
Thanks.
How old were you? I found her.
[ inhales sharply .]
How old was she? I'm 27.
So you were raised by your dad, or [ scoffs .]
no, he was never in the picture.
I was raised in the system till I was 18, And then I became a cop so I could investigate her murder.
They all said it was suicide, but I never believed that.
Well, I'm sure it's not easy for a little boy To believe that his mother chose to leave him.
She was murdered.
Hey, listen, I got to get going.
What? Wait.
We didn't even eat our pizza on our on our bench.
Yeah, we're having a garage sale for the leader of our group And I got to get some stuff, so You want a ride? No, I'm good.
Yo! I may be out of line, but I like you And I don't want to see you get hurt When you're clearly doing so well Putting your life back together.
For my money, that guy is not close To being over his dead wife.
In the future, when in doubt, you are out of line.
Thanks.
[ loudly .]
I'm bored! Shh! Look, here she comes.
Just no talking and drink your milkshake.
Sorry I'm late.
Are you? No, I'm really not.
You know, betsy, If you want to have a successful relationship, You need to start with you Or you're never gonna get married.
You're not gonna have the two kids, the nanny, The husband that's the lawyer, or Dentist.
Dentist.
And why the dentist again? The kids will need braces.
I come from a long line of overbites.
We're getting off track.
Let's get back to you being late.
UmYou disrespect other people's time when you are late.
It's rude, and you're kind of acting superior.
You're right.
I'm always only thinking of myself.
It's so confusing.
I mean, you tell me to take care of myself first, But in order to do that, I have to be late, a I worry, And that's why I have these wrinkles in my forehead And I don't sleep well, and I just Holy fuck! Shit.
What's up? Hi, I'm adam rosenblum.
I'm Shawna's boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Yeah, let's get real for a second, lady.
You are currently your own worst enemy.
If you meet a guy who makes your heart race And yet also calms you down simultaneously, Then that means there is a-a chemical connection.
And if you're one of the few, few lucky people On this planet that gets to experience something like that, Then, I mean, what the fuck do you care If he works at fucking home depot? [ scoffs .]
what do you do for a living? He's mine.
Next time, bring him.
[ sighs .]
[ chuckles .]
So, uh [ clears throat .]
Are we gonna do it soon or what? I mean, we've been going steady for like a week now, And I've only copped third base over the pants.
[ chuckles .]
I'm a laughingstock.
I got quicker trim in the 7th grade.
Come on, Mrs.
Robinson.
Give up the woo.
Please.
If you screamed "virgin" any louder, you'd resurrect mary.
Do you have my check, please? Thanks.
Okay, that's a grand.
Give that to mike.
That squares us on my tab for this month, okay? Thank you.
Thanks a lot, man.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Man: Yeah? Yeah, hey, this is Miller.
What do you got on the game tonight? You're shut down until you pay me what you already owe.
Oh, just give me the fucking game.
You've known me for years.
Where the fuck am I gonna go? You already owe 100 g's.
I got 24 grand on me.
And the other 76? Look, just give me the fucking game.
I'll meet you after the game whether I win or lose, okay? If I win, I'll give you the 24 grand, And I'll still owe you 76.
If I lose, I'll give you the 24 grand, And I'll still owe you 100, and you know I'm good for it.
We're not a fucking bank.
Stop being such a fucking cunt, okay? I've given you a lot of fucking money.
Give me the goddamn game.
All right.
Hold on a second.
Listen, I got a colonoscopy later.
I'm supposed to take some fucking powder shit Or something.
Pharmacist: Uh, fourth shelf down.
Right here? Mm-hmm.
All right, so, listen what do you got on the game tonight? The giants are 8-115 and the raiders No, stay away from them fucking bitch raiders.
Give me the giants for 24 grand straight.
Midnight at west way.
Yeah, I'm gonna meet you.
24k! Bye.
Sorry.
So, how do I take this stuff? Every two hours.
It tastes disgusting, so be prepared, And, oh, by the way, don't be too far from a commode Because once it kicks in [ chuckles .]
Fuck.
I'm pissing, I'm shitting, I'm fucking drooling.
I fucking wipe my ass 10 times a day Even though I'm fucking clean.
I can't see shit.
How come no one tells you this shit starts at 35 and not 75? It's our only revenge.
[ chuckles .]
[ footsteps approaching .]
It's father, Dolly.
Should we hide? Too late.
So, you're still talking to things that aren't human? I talk to you, don't I? Sorry.
Habit.
You need money? Why do you always ask me that? 'cause you're taking the dolls.
I figure you're gonna put them on ebay or something.
Actually, they're going to help someone Who's in even mo need than me.
Yeah, well, I kind of like having them around.
Why? This may come as a surprise to you.
Why? Because, I don't know.
I liked things the way they were A long, long time ago.
You're right.
I am surprised.
What was there to like? You were such a scary child Provocative, withdrawn.
But your eyes Whenever I look into your eyes, I see your mother.
So, you sure you don't need some money? I have a lot of it.
I'm gonna have an opening for my store in a few weeks If you wanted to come.
You're still gonna go with the dead people's clothes? Yeah.
[ chuckles .]
Well I guess I could take an allergy pill or something.
I guess you could do that.
[ indistinct conversations .]
Anyone need change? I got change.
Anybody? Change? Okay.
Right here! Who needs change? I got change.
You guys need change? Let's play hot-dog vendor tonight.
Change! So, um, I think that's your best bet Is to go home and do it.
I know this is very, very uncomfortable For you to talk about.
You need to go home and fucking bang her.
Okay.
Next? Hey.
Meet me in the hall bathroom in five minutes.
[ knock on door .]
Oh, my God! [ moans .]
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
[ chuckles .]
Oh, oh! [ both moaning pleasurably .]
Oh! Oh, fuck! Oh! Shit! Best garage sale I've been to in years.
Uh [ both chuckle .]
Your bad's not too bad.
This has to be so wrong.
No, no.
It does not have to be wrong.
You were amazing.
Well, my age belies my desire to please.
Oh, just shut up and fuck me again.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
In 20 years, it'll take you a month to get hard The second time.
[ both moaning pleasurably .]
[ toilet flushes .]
[ giggles .]
Dude? Hey.
You guys showed.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
Wow.
I never thought you'd part with some of this shit.
[ chuckles .]
Hi.
I'm Lily.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Amanda.
Nice to meet you.
It's okay.
You guys don't have to like me.
[ chuckles nervously .]
[ chuckles .]
what do you mean? We like you.
They like you.
Um, how much is the makeup? Oh, please.
So have you made it through the gauntlet yet? Hurricane henrietta? No.
I haven't met her.
She will tonight.
She is? If she's good.
Brad: Oh, look at him run.
The 30! Okay.
He's all alone at the 20! The 10! Touchdown! Go! Go! That's what I'm fucking talking about! Man: Miraculous touchdown! That's what I'm fucking talking about! Steve smith from eli manning, right down the middle.
Ow! Man.
Get the fuck! Unbelievable! It's now 20-17.
Miraculous comeback for the giants.
Unbelievable.
We're set up on the field for the snap.
And extra point is up And it's good.
Giants lead now 21-17.
Oh, man.
This is a spectacular game today.
It certainly is there, brad.
[ farts .]
And it's a 35-yard attempt.
One fucking time, man Come on! One fucking time! One time! Both teams set up, And the kick is up and He missed it! Oh! Oh! Wow! He missed it.
That is devastating.
Fuck! Motherfuck! In a pressure situation, he has choked.
And tonight, the giants have held on For a big divisional win by 7, 24-17.
Oh! Fuck! Fuck you! [ farts .]
[ farts, sighs .]
And the second game of our season opener Of "Monday night football" will start in just 15 minutes With the oakland raiders taking on the san diego chargers.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Sports.
This is fred.
What's your password? Cm1322.
Listen, my account's empty, But if I wire you money now, can I get in on the second game? As long as it gets here in 13 minutes, sure.
Okay.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Excuse me.
Police business.
Move.
Police business! 24 grand mailed to that account right now.
You need to fill out a form.
Look, I'll give you 100 bucks If you make it happen in the next 60 seconds.
Hurry up! Sports.
This is alice.
What's your password? Cm1322.
Listen, you should have just got how much? $22,865.
22,865 bucks in my account.
I just wired it.
Let me check.
I don't I don't see it yet.
She doesn't see it.
Did it go through? It went through.
He said it went through.
Oh, yes.
There it is.
All right, put it all on the raiders straight.
Raiders straight.
You're in.
How am I doing? I like the mix of vintage with your boho chic.
Who are you? [ laughs .]
I read my fashion magazines.
He doesn't know me at all.
That seems to be a running theme.
No, no.
Not there.
Closer to me.
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
He doesn't get his humor from me.
You aren't funny? Well, of course I am.
In my own style.
What about you? I never thought about whether or not I was funny.
No.
Not the question.
Tell me what I should know Quickly, before robert makes his exit.
I'm in no hurry.
I bet you're so grateful that robert is your son.
I'll bet, typically, when you see him, You hug him and tell him how proud you are Of all those years struggling in medical school When he really wanted just to write comic books.
I'll bet you think of new questions every day to ask him Because there is never enough time in life To really get to know someone Something that We learned the hard way.
But from that experience comes a gratitude For being here For being able to be loved.
Familial love is so precious.
But I'm sorry.
I didn't answer your question, did I? Because all of those things you already know.
I think it's time you see where I live.
The much-anticipated home opener of the raiders not good.
Getting beat by 42 is not the way They wanted to start their season.
Fuck! Fuck! Excuse me, bro.
Yeah, I'll just be a second.
Listen, either fill up your fucking bottle in the sink Or when you feel people here, you know, Fucking move over and let them in.
Move.
Loca samasta suki no babantu.
Loca samasta suki no babantu.
[ farts .]
Fuck! Open the door! Man: Someone's in here.
Okay, open the fucking door.
One second, please.
Open the door now! You fuck off! What the [ farting .]
Oh, fuck! Look, are you out of your fucking mind? Dude, I'm sorry.
That one? That one's on me.
That's my bad.
No shit.
You ever had a colonoscopy? T-that fucking shit they make you drink the night before? That's what's going on here.
I don't give a fuck.
[ cellphone beeps .]
I'm getting the fucking manager.
[ cellphone beeps .]
Hey, saperstein? Yeah, baby, I got my new wheels.
Yeah! What's in the "super stupid" box? Nothing.
It's stupid.
Been there a long time.
It's nothing, really.
But the reason I brought you here Is because I want you to have these clothes.
For your store.
I mean, if you want them.
[ chuckles .]
I'll take good care of him.
[ rachel yamagata's "elephants" plays .]
if the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember it's no wonder how they scream like you and I, they must have some temper You do have a soul.
I am dreaming of them on the plane dirtying up if the hawks in the trees need the dead if you're living, you don't stand a chance for a time, though you share the same bed there are only two ends to this dance you can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed so for those of you falling in love keep it kind, keep it good, ep it right throw yourself in the midst of danger