Growing Up Fisher (2014) s01e08 Episode Script

Because dad was blind, he developed the keen sense of the world.
He could navigate a place the second he walked through the door.
Of course, first he'd have to find that door.
He could read a person from their first "Hello".
- Hey, Mel.
What's up? - Sloan.
Great news.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is coming to the charity thing Friday.
That's awesome.
You got to get me his autograph.
Why don't you get his autograph? You're my plus one.
Unless You're not canceling on me, are you? I am.
My ex-wife called last night.
She's feeling very lonely.
One thing led to another, and Boom! My first divorced booty call.
I'm hoping to roll it into a five-day four-night booty staycation.
Is she here? Now? She's in the bed.
If she was here I'd introduce her to you.
I'm a gentleman.
All right.
Well.
I guess I'll find somebody else.
But hey, I'll I'm happy for you.
- Oh my God.
Are you? - Totally.
It's fine.
You're blind.
And I've never been more grateful.
.
Okay, okay.
Pause, pause out.
Is there always this much running in basketball? Your legs are, like, 8 feet tall.
You cross the court in two steps.
I know.
I'm just on day three of my raw food diet.
Okay, I gotta get my mind off eating.
Is someone barbecuing? Hello, Mrs.
Fisher.
Nice to see you.
Runyen, in the car now! Whoa, your mom sounds super pissed.
I knew this would happen when report cards came out.
Got a "B" in algebra.
Henry, you didn't tell me report cards came out.
How did you do? I got a "B" in algebra! That's fantastic! Ah! Let's celebrate with some raw almonds.
- I don't really like - I'll eat yours.
When dad got Elvis, he gained his independence and lost a great deal of dignity.
Did daddy forget your kong? That's okay.
You can play with the other doggies'.
You excited for that charity thing Friday night? I don't have a plus one, so I'm not gonna go.
What? No, dad, you have to go.
Can't you just go by yourself? Nah, that'd be weird.
Empty seat at the table.
I don't need anybody feeling sorry for me.
- She took off, Mel.
- Ah.
Got two lattes, two muffins.
Let's just call it 2 bucks.
Hey, don't I always take care of you? - Hey, Hunter - Hey.
About that party Friday night at my dad's apartment Yeah, totally stoked.
I was able to move my thing, so I'm in.
It's still on, right? Of course it's still on.
My dad's got this charity thing that he is going to.
So I'll text you the address.
Or I could just write it down.
I-I don't have a pen.
You sure about that? Oh, wow.
Magic.
Umm.
I-I'll be right back.
Dad.
I've been thinking about this.
Friday night.
You need to go to that charity event.
Wow.
You are really invested in this.
And I'll tell you why.
This is the first big event since the divorce and the dog, and mom's not gonna be there.
So you don't want people saying that Mel didn't go.
You want people saying that Mel did go with someone cool.
Doesn't have to be that cool.
It's a room full of lawyers, so the bar's pretty low.
Nice one.
Well, how lucky am I to have a daughter who cares so much about her old man? She's gone, buddy.
Ah.
She talking to that kid with the shih-tzu? Yeah.
You worried about him? Nah, he's fine.
She starts talking to a boy with a pit bull, then I might worry.
- I'm Mel.
- Hey, Pete.
What kinda dog you got there, Pete? - A poodle.
- Smartest breed.
Though he tanked his SAT's.
Yeah, well, the opposable thumbs come in handy with a number two pencil.
That's true.
Dad made a nice new friend.
Maybe everything was gonna work out for everyone exactly Oh, my God! Okay, everyone, let's try the spiral.
It's all in the wrist.
After that school lunch, it just makes me feel like I'm just gonna Cut it out, dude.
Okay, what's up? You've been avoiding me all day, and you can't care this much about rhythmic gymnastics.
I have to care! My mom says I have to get my grades up she doesn't want us to hang out anymore.
What? She says you're a bad influence.
She said what? Mom, relax.
Runyen's mom will get over it.
Don't overreact.
I'm not overreacting, considering what she said, and how light-headed I am.
I'm sorry, I'm in sugar withdrawal.
Oh, oh.
Yeah.
You're hitting that cherry chapstick really hard.
There's no carbs in chapstick.
When are you going to college? I'm sorry.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, doggy.
Just us bringing you all of my crackers and cookies and everything else that makes life worth living.
- Hey, you found a friend.
- Yeah, this is Roscoe.
His owner, Pete, he's in the bathroom.
Great guy, and he's gonna come to the charity thing with me.
Oh, my God, that's great! I can't wait to tell everyone About your news.
Mel, what is in that soap? My hands feel like silk, but they smell like christmas trees.
Guys, say hi to Pete.
- Hey.
- Hi, Pete.
Hey.
Joyce, wife, ex-wife.
Usually not here.
Raw food diet.
And your dad's told me so much about you guys.
Which one is the favorite? Oh, it's Henry.
Yep, 12 years straight.
Look at that cute face.
Look at that Face.
So Donnie Baseball brought in Jansen.
Jansen? Look at the man.
Look at the the spider man.
Henry, stop being so weird.
Joyce, are those snickerdoodles? Ho, ho! Toss those over here.
Here you go, Peeeete Enjoy the snickerdoodles, Pete.
- It was great to meet you.
- Take care.
Did you see that? The huge spider web tattoo taking up half his face? Yeah, we saw it.
Did he do that on purpose? Was that a decision? A stupid decision he made to put that on his face? We have to tell your father.
He cannot take him to his stupid lawyer thing.
He'll look like a stupid lawyer.
Of course we have to tell him.
That stupid lawyer thing means a lot to dad.
Okay, you guys wait here.
I'm gonna go tell him.
No, no, no, no.
It'll be better coming from us.
I guess you're right.
If I tell him, then I look like the buzzkill ex-wife who doesn't want him to have a good time.
We'll break it to him gently.
It'll be tough, but we'll do it.
Tell him anything, and I'll destroy you.
We can't let him bring spider-man to his lawyer party.
I mean, unless he was the real spider-man.
That'd be cool.
It's important for dad to step outside his comfort zone and expand his social circle.
He should get out of the house for a couple of hours.
Oh, my God, you're having a party.
Just because you and dad have no friends doesn't mean I can't.
Can I come? Hi, Soojin.
Joyce, Henry's mom.
Oh, yes, hi.
Do you have a sec to talk about the boys? Of course.
Let's talk.
Okay.
Uh, okay.
Well, um, Henry said - Donut hole? - Oh, no, no, no.
I am on a raw food diet.
You don't realize the horrible effects of sugar.
She's right.
This is not worth 18 points.
I guess one donut can't hurt.
That is so good.
Anyway, uh Anyway, Henry said that Runyen said that you said Henry's a bad influence or something? I'm sure it's just a miscommunication.
No, I did say that.
So it's a little bit of a stuffy crowd tomorrow night.
You know, lawyers.
Probably oughta wear a suit.
No problem.
Got plenty of 'em.
I used to work at a bank before I found my true calling.
- Drifter? - Murderer? Web design.
- I could see that.
- Web.
Makes sense.
All right, buddy, see you tomorrow.
See you later.
Come on, Roscoe.
Firm handshake.
Appreciates a good dark beer.
Owns a poodle and proud of it.
I like that Pete.
Me too.
I think we all agree that Pete's just great.
And good night.
You're an excellent judge of character, dad.
Well, do you know who I judge to be of excellent character? You.
You're giving me too much credit.
You pushed me the way I used to push you, in a good way, so thanks.
Pete has a face tattoo.
A what? He has a giant face tattoo! It's a giant spider web.
It's, like, on his cheek and forehead and eyelid.
His eyelid! I mean, who would get a tattoo on his eyelid? I mean, doesn't that hurt with the needle and the poking? I just don't get it.
So Pete has a face tattoo.
I mean, is that really that weird? It would be less weird if he didn't have a face.
So weird! Ugh.
Yeah, you're right.
I can't take him to this thing.
Three years ago, Bob Royce brought a guy with an eyebrow ring.
Everybody still calls him "Eyebrow Bob.
" But I already invited Pete.
What am I supposed to do? I got you covered.
Break-ups are my specialty.
Henry is sweet.
Henry is thoughtful.
Henry always unloads the dishwasher.
Would a bad influence do that? He's just reacting to his environment, and lately things seem a little bit unsettled in the Fisher household.
Sorry, households.
My family and our households are settled.
Damn it, I really need one with sprinkles.
Okay, 'cause there doesn't seem to be a lot of structure.
You're just jealous that Runyen thinks the Fishers are more fun.
The Hans are fun.
We own a donut shop.
Well, at least I don't treat my son like an employee.
I don't treat Runyen like an employee.
That's right, employees get paid.
Ooh! Oh, no, I'm leaving.
I'm gonna go get some cake, 'cause that's what donuts really want to be.
I've got a plan that's gonna make this pain-free.
One, do this in public.
Less chance of a scene.
- Hey, Pete.
- Hi, Mel.
If you're sitting down, sit close.
But not too close.
What's up? Don't waste time with small talk.
Just rip the band-aid right off.
Listen, Pete, it turns out the charity thing is just not gonna happen tonight.
Really? How come? I know you wanna be honest, and I respect that.
But you need to bury that honesty in a web of lies.
I said web.
Get it? Anyway Well, turns out I don't have a plus one.
And the tickets are all sold out.
So if you showed up, it would just be It would be weird.
Because I don't have a ticket or because of something on my face? And if he confronts you, sit tight.
I'll handle the extraction.
Pete, I think someone's poodle got out.
I think it might have been Roscoe.
Damn it.
Roscoe! Roscoe! Shall we go? You have a gift.
A very disturbing gift.
Hey, uh, so I heard your mom came by the shop.
Yeah.
I-I'm sorry, man.
My mom acted like such a jerk.
Please, my mom was a jerk.
I can't believe your mom would get into it like that.
She's usually so uptight.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, she's not uptight.
She just cares about me.
Well, yeah, my mom cares about me too.
She just shows it in a more loving way.
Are are you saying my mom's not loving? The woman is a saint.
A saint that only loves you when you get good grades.
You take that back.
Wish I could, but I can't.
So I won't.
The woman is a saint! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! All right, break it up, break it up.
Break it up.
Really? You're calling this a fight? I feel lousy about the way things went down with Pete.
Well, don't.
Get your head back in the game.
Meet someone new.
Katie was helping dad get back in the game out of the goodness of her heart.
And also to salvage her party.
Eh, 50/50.
The sooner you meet someone, the better.
I mean, tonight's the night.
Tick-tock.
Make that 60/40.
Wait.
It's that guy with the pug.
He's always dress nice He's at the table, filling up his travel doggie dish How's his face? Tattoo-less.
I'm on it.
Hi, I'm Mel.
Hey.
Boy, those collapsible dog dishes are pretty great, huh? Yeah, they're super handy.
Yeah, so, uh, what are you, married or single or What? Oh, no, I'm I'm not trying to pick you up.
Which might be what I would say if I was trying to pick you up, but I'm not.
I'm not trying to pick you up.
I'm I'm just looking for a friend.
R-really looking for a companion, you know, which really, really sounds like I'm trying to yeah, okay.
Take care.
Wow.
You know, there's a reason they say not to talk to strangers.
Yeah.
Well, we're gonna have a problem, then, Don, because I talk to you, and you're pretty strange.
Yeah, but you've never seen me, Mel, and I am beautiful.
So I tell you what, here's a free coffee for my recently humiliated friend.
Thank you.
Don takes care of me.
You and Don seem to be, uh Oh, what's the word? Friendly? Yeah, he's a good guy.
And I guess we have a lot in common, you know, baseball, and we're about the same age, I guess, and I get where you're going with this.
Hey, Don.
No way.
Are you kidding me? Look, Babe Ruth did it all without steroids and still managed to get a candy bar named after him, so listen, Eyebrow Bob.
You and A-rod, you can both kiss my cheeks, and not the ones you can see.
That's the best offer Eyebrow Bob's had in a while.
- Wasn't even my eyebrow! - Aww.
Hey, Jesse, get Eyebrow Bob one of the overpriced drinks here, will ya? That's right, yeah.
Make it a double.
Here, boy.
Eyebrow Bob.
Hey, Don, thanks for coming, man.
This is really fun.
Hey, I'm having a great time.
Thanks for having me.
So this Ray of Light Foundation Yeah? Isn't it weird to call it ray of light when it's a blind thing? No, it's a it's a charity for homeless kids.
I thought it was for your situation.
I my situation? Yeah, you know, your eye sitch.
I mean, isn't that why you're on the board? No, I'm on the board of the California Bar Association 'cause I'm an attorney.
A blind attorney? Is that a thing? Yeah, Don, I'm I'm a thing.
As dad's night was taking a turn, Katie's night was just getting good.
Hunter's here! Okay, everyone, be cool.
But don't act like you're being cool.
Just be cool.
Oh, hey, Hunter.
I totally forgot you were coming.
Cool.
- I brought you something.
- Oh.
French onion dip.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, my God.
So just because I'm blind, it really didn't occur to you that I could be an attorney? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No.
Unbelievable.
I mean, a lawyer? And here you are, using your blindness to get free coffee from me.
Wait, that's why you were giving me free coffee? Well, I Oh, my God.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is over there.
Kareem! Yeah, come on over here! Take a picture! Don't leave! Don, come on, keep your voice down.
No, it's not for me.
It's for my blind friend! Flash him the dog, will ya? - Are you kidding me? - Make him see that you're, you know That I'm what? That I'm with an idiot? I'll see you around the Dog Park, jackass.
Mel, it's Karee With dad out of the apartment, Katie finally got to hang out with the guy of her dreams - Was this your card? - No.
Who was a complete nightmare.
Guess I must've Ate it.
That's disgusting.
And for my next trick, I will need a beautiful volunteer.
Hey, N-Nicole! Hey Hey, girl.
Look at this! You totally saved me.
He keeps doing magic tricks.
But that's so cute.
Turns out it's the opposite of cute.
Elvis, no.
Oh, my God.
Shh! Shh, everybody! My dad's home! So just stand still and don't make a sound.
And turn that off.
Okay.
Get out of there.
Hey, dad, you're home! Hi! Hey, why are you standing right by the front door? Why are you standing right by the door and not at your charity event? Yeah, turns out our buddy Don was a little bit of a I don't know, what do you call a guy who's like a racist but with blind people? - A jerk? - That.
Yeah, he just reduced me to nothing more than a poor, pathetic little - Dad! - What? Nothing, I just You're right, you're right.
I can't get mad.
I mean, I just did the same exact thing to Pete, judging a book by its face tattoo.
Oh, no.
My bracelets fell on the ground, is what that sound was.
- I'm sorry.
I don't know how you girls wear all that jewelry.
- Yeah, we're vain.
- Well Good night.
I'm gonna get to bed.
Sweet.
I-I mean, sweet dreams, dad.
Love you.
Love you too.
Oh, and tell your 10 to If my best friend had been there, I would have been playing one-on-one with that basketball instead of Yeah, I really did that.
- Okay, Henry.
- Nothing.
First, let me get the mother stuff out of the way.
Fighting is bad, young man.
Okay, now time for the fun part.
"Thank you for defending me" cookies.
I'm not hungry.
Nope.
I'm taking you over to the Hans'.
I'm gonna get you back together with Runyen.
- Really? - Yep.
Even if it means groveling to his stupid mother, who I'm sure is great once you get to know her.
Lots of stress in small business.
Oh, look, they're coming to see us.
Oh, no, no, no.
She is not gonna apologize before me.
Wha what do you know? This is so funny.
We were just at your house.
- Uh - What a coincidence.
- Mrs.
Fisher, I wanted - Joyce.
Please.
Oh, wow, donuts.
Thank you.
Joyce, listen, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
No, no, that's Yes, that's what I was saying.
No, no, I acted so inappropriately.
Oh, it was all me, which is why I am the one apologizing the most.
'Cause the important thing is the boys.
- I'm still more sorry.
- Well, you know, let me just Did you hear I said I'm sorry? Oh, no, it's fine.
Go ahead, buddy.
Listen, Pete, I-I want to apologize for yesterday.
The truth is I didn't want to take you to the event because of your tattoo.
No! That was surprising, being judged by you, of all people.
- Yeah, I know, yeah.
- A bald guy.
Yeah.
Um, you know, not for nothing, and I-I mean, I don't want this to be awkward, but I, uh you want to ask about the tattoo? - I really do.
- It's a doozy of a story.
I bet.
So about seven years ago, I'm learning how to stain glass in Houston.
And this Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
- What? - This guy's not cleaning up after his dog.
I thought that smell was lingering.
You wanna clean up after your dog? Still don't hear the rustle of a bag! Come on, ya jerk! Yeah, this is a community here! - He's more this way, Mel.
- Thanks.
Who the hell do you think you are? Who? Me? Ooh.
He looks pissed.
He's coming over here.
Nope.
Walking away.
- Saw you tattoo? - Yep So it has its perk.
Nice.