Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e08 Episode Script

1 Harvey Harvey Harvey Well, boys, according to the GPS on my smart phone, we're making good time.
Is everyone excited to see the comet tonight? - Yes, Dad.
- Yes, Mr.
Beaks! Does anyone need to stop and make a wee-wee? No, Mr.
Beaks.
Great! Harvey, it's really nice of your dad to take us all camping like this.
- Your dad is nice.
I like him.
- I like him, too.
You want to see something cool? Check this out.
It's a picture of my dad and his dad, my grandpa, from the last time the comet came through - 25 years ago.
- Why aren't you in the picture? - I wasn't born yet.
- Oh.
Dad: Harvey, come here, buddy.
Are you looking at that picture again? Maybe.
You know, seeing that comet with my dad is something I'll remember forever.
I can't believe I get to share this with you, too.
Oh, boy, here come the waterworks.
It's okay, Dad.
Cool guys cry sometimes.
Guys, I need to ask you something, and I need an honest answer.
How jealous am I making you right now? Looks like we found a great place to break for dinner.
OK, it's 7:00 now.
We eat dinner and be back on the trail by 7:30.
By 3:00 A.
M.
, we're having the best Harvey-Dad moment time ever! Check out my new titanium skewer, huh? Roast two s'mores at once.
Eh, oh All right, fellas, before we get back on the old dusty trail, who wants to hear a ghost story? Ah! We! Yeah! I do! I do! Let's set the mood, shall we? Once there was this camper, and he was camping right here on this very spot.
And he was cooking marshmallows just like we are.
Ooh! And it burned.
But he ate the burned marshmallow anyways.
And it screwed him up big time.
And it and it turned him i-into a monster.
And he just started eating children! Why would he do that? - Because monsters aren't rational.
- Oh, my crud! Wait, I think I heard something.
- I better go check it out.
- I He'll be fine.
The monsters only eat kids, right? Ha ha.
Just kidding, boys.
Just Ow! Ow! No, wait, wait! Whoa! Ow! Ow! Wait, it's not a monster.
That's my dad! Miriam, try these gravel and molasses truffles.
Dad, are you okay? Don't worry, boys.
I'm perfectly capable of Yeah, he's pretty messed up.
Lucky for you people, I know what to do.
I was never here.
You guys are in so much trouble! Dade, what the heck? Okay, okay, whenever dad gets hurt, I just call Mom.
Mom, it's Dad.
He's hurt Wait, Jeremy? Yes, Beaks Residence.
Everything is fine.
Baby's fine.
Oh, no! I hate bats! I guess my mom's not there.
So, what are we doing, Harv-man, going home? Uh, well You know, seeing that comet with my dad is something I'll remember forever.
This comet only comes every 25 years.
We're going to keep going.
Okay, guys, we're going to have to keep speed-walking if we're going to make it to the field on time.
Ooh! Oh! Ow! Don't forget the ice cubes, Captain! Man, you guys are ripe.
We're never going to score any chicks with that smell.
Here, try this cologne.
Especially you, Rooter.
- You're the rawest of the bunch.
- Oi.
So I told Tammy, "Girl, he's just going to use you.
" But she's like: "I don't want to hear it.
" Whoa, girl, what's that smell? Huh? - Dang, you smell good.
- Yeah, you smell real good.
All right, how about you give me your digits? Ow! Whatever! We weren't that into you anyway.
Pumpernickel root beer cake.
Okay, we're fine.
We just need to check the map and see that we've been going the wrong direction! 2.
5 miles in the wrong direction.
You knew? Why didn't you say anything? Going 2.
5 miles the other way, far more challenging.
Maybe there's another way we can go.
Wow! How did you get your eyeballs to do that? - Ow! - Okay, I've got it.
We'll take a shortcut across the lake.
All we need is a boat.
Okay, raise your hand if you know how to build a boat.
I don't know how to build a boat, but I'll do it anyway.
First of all, we're going to need, like, 300 trees.
That seems like way too many.
Well, we got to make it big enough to hold all the hotties! - Hotties? - Yeah, all the super hot ladies that will be out there to see the comet.
There won't be any ladies out there.
- No ladies? - Nope.
Peace! Technobear out! Wait, where are you going? Boys, I can help you build a boat.
First, cut down two trees.
- But we don't have a saw.
- Apple bacon saxophone.
Yeah, we can probably find some fallen trees.
You understand him? I've never understood anybody better in my whole life.
- Horsefly Monopoly.
- All right, and then we can tie the trees together with whatever we can find.
Hydroelectric jellybean lunar module.
Okay, you guys, I think I know how to build a boat.
I think something got lost in translation.
Well, it's all we got.
Everybody on the boat! Sorry, boys, I'm swimming.
It will be way harder and also more refreshing.
Ya! - Sorry, dude.
- It's okay.
The boat probably couldn't have handled his muscle mass anyway.
- Oh, no! - I'm making snow angels! - Eeee - Dad! I'm too floaty! My head's too floaty! - Dad, are you okay? - Hopscotch magnet burger.
That's the worst boat I've ever seen.
You want to drown yourselves, you do it in someone else's lake.
We'll never make it now.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I tried.
Butter spider boggle top.
He says, "It's okay, Harvey.
We'll catch the next one.
" 25 years? We finally did it, Father.
After 25 long years the comet is almost here.
Oh, no! No, we're going to make it.
We have to make it! - There! - The canyon? No, there! - A bridge! - That will take us over the canyon and right into the field.
We're gonna do this! - Foo, do you know how to fix bridges? - Nope.
Dang it.
We'll just have to find another way across.
I've got an idea.
Harvey, I just wanted to say of all the plans you've ever had this one is my favorite.
Okay, Dad, here we go.
One, two, three! - Whoa! - Hey, that actually worked pretty well.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Quick! Catch him coming back! Oh! - Harvey, I caught him.
- Foo! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Foo! I fell into a bush.
It's actually pretty comfortable.
Hoo! Oh, man, it's almost here.
Dad, the comet's coming! We've got to get to the field.
Okay, okay, okay.
I got it, I got it.
Come on! - We're so close! - Huckleberry ginger grass.
I don't understand you, Dad.
He said, "You can't do it by yourself.
" - Foo! You made it! - I made it! - Can you help me with my dad? - Okay.
He's pretty heavy.
Looks like you two could use a hand.
- Rooter! - Yep.
And look who I found.
- Techno Bear? - I couldn't leave my bros out here alone, even if there ain't no hotties.
Thank goodness.
I've been walking through these bushes over an hour.
- Oh, hey, Harvey.
- Everyone, quick, grab my dad.
Just a little bit closer, guys! Wow! - Quick, set him down here.
- Whoops.
Oh, huh? Where am I? - Dad, it's the comet.
- Well, would you look at that.
Son, I don't remember hiking here.
But this is amazing.
I almost forgot.
Here, Dad.
25 years.
You know, I think it's even better this time.
Harvey, have you seen my pants anywhere? How nice.
We have the whole house to ourselves, Fee.
You making another cozy for the egg, Mrs.
Beaks? Oh, yeah.
You can never have too many egg cozies.
- What you got there? - I don't know.
I think it's gonna be a hat or maybe a boat sail.
You know, it's been about 25 years since the comet came by.
The boys are probably having fun camping out there tonight.
Yep, and we're just in here being boring.
W Well, I don't know if I'd say it's boring.
You know, it doesn't have to be a boring night.
I mean, I'm not boring.
The stories I could tell you.
My friends and I used to paint the town red.
Okay, would a boring person wear these? My sweet tiny pants! Mrs.
Beaks, these are awesome! Look at your hair.
What? You rode a moped? Is that a flare gun? This must be you and your friends on the night of the comet.
Oh, let me see.
- Ha! Look at us! - Did you all really get tattoos? Oh, ha! No.
We just drew those on.
We thought we were so cool.
I didn't know you had this wild side.
- Fee, I think we're pretty alike.
- We both like burning trash? You know what? Forget knitting tonight.
Let's go out there and kick this town's butt! Oh Thanks for babysitting the egg, Jeremy.
Oh, yeah, it's my pleasure.
Whoop! Okay, let's go, Fee.
Coming, Mrs.
Beaks.
Ah, okay, baby.
Let's just go read some bedtime stori Oop! So, what should we do first? Build a fire pit? Last comet night started with us getting all the girls together.
Fee? Fee?! Okay, I got the girls together.
Okay, girls, I want you to hear me out.
How about instead of having another boring, ordinary night, we put our heads together and we make this the craziest night of the comet anyone has ever seen! But but I'm supposed to be at home practicing my oboe.
Mom says it's against the rules to skip practice.
Claire, on comet night there are no rules! I've waited for this day to come.
Hold on let me check my schedule first.
- Whatever! - My friends and I would wear these scrunchies on all of our adventures.
Okay, I want all of us to hold hands while I sing a song I wrote about sisterhood.
I wrote this in a language I learned in a dream.
Ooh la gooboo la ma pujja ma Sha sisters tiji shaaaa I'm hungry! And here's your milkshake.
And one milkshake with all the straws.
Gimme! Excuse me, sir, I'll take 20 orders of sauerkraut and send it to that table.
And I want you to deliver this note.
"Your weird head makes my heart soar.
I'm in love with you.
Let's have weird-headed babies.
" You're pranking that table? A-Adults can't do that! - Cool adults can.
- That's right.
So much sauerkraut.
This is really happening! Ah, Gerald.
Is this how you really feel? - I don't know what you're talking about.
- Gerald, come here, you.
Comet night is back! Ah! Ah! Don't worry, little egg.
I'll get you down.
Just fall on top of the pillows.
Hold tight, little egg, I'm just gonna Ah! Ah! Where'd you go? Did you hatch and fly away? Little egg! Nooo! Aren't you all the wrong age to be going to a prom? We want to rent prom dresses for our own cool prom.
It's a comet night thing, pretty different, I know.
R-Randl, remember I saved all those dresses for your future wife, but then you never got married.
Mom, go to sleep! Wow! Um, we're going to need a boom box.
Nobody touch that one! I wanna try it! I'm invincible.
- Ah! Ah! - And then Archibald proposed to me, but I told him I don't kiss on the fifth date.
Oh, don't we look amazing! I bet I look better in this than Harvey would.
Actually, Harvey would look pretty great in this.
Yeah.
- Hey, you've got to pay for that.
- But we didn't touch it.
Besides, all this music is so obvious.
Don't you have anything cool and obscure? Uh, I don't even I don't You know what? I have records no one has ever heard before.
Just wait there.
Okay, let's go.
You too, Randl's mom.
And that's the night I realized I'm impervious to fire.
This is pretty crazy, huh, Fee? Uh, yeah.
But, Mrs.
Beaks, are you sure you're really cool with stealing like this? We'll return the dresses tomorrow.
It's all in good fun.
Um, okay.
Ah! Ah! How did this happen? Stay away from us, you bats! Okay, girls, I'm taking us to my favorite place to let loose.
Welcome to the coolest roller skating rink in Littlebark Grove! This looks like a nursing home.
Okay, maybe I haven't been here in 25 years.
Well, that was fun while it lasted.
I guess we better head back home and get back to those egg cozies, right Mrs.
Beaks? No, no, no, no! We're doing this! - Girls, let's pump up the jams! - Oi! Here? Yeah, come on, girls.
Go be crazy.
Remember, night of the comet.
No rules! Uh Ma'am? Visiting hours are over.
Whatever! The party hour's just started! I keep I want Yeah.
Whoo.
Oh dear, I better call for help.
Hello, police? Evil, beware.
Officer Fred is here to kick wickedness in the bootie.
- Where? - Here.
Down here.
Oh, thank gosh you're here, Officer Fred.
Let me just assess the situation.
You there! Drop that weapon! Aba-zap! You! Stop running! Ba-zang! No, we called you because of them.
What? Police? I-I'm not going back into lockup.
I did my time.
Let's get out of here.
Fee, are you having fun? - I think I'm gonna throw up! - Me too! Ow! Ba-zow! Ba-zap! Ba-zang! Ba-zoi! Ba-zow! Is this Ow! Really necessary? Ow! Ba-zang! Ba-zow! Ba-zang! Miriam, I just You stole my stuff.
But you lost my mother.
So I guess we're even.
Ha, look at these party poopers.
Am I right, Fee? I don't know.
That wasn't really fun.
I'm kind of glad we're in prison right now.
What? But I thought you were all about the whoo - and the haah and the arrr! - Yeah, I like that stuff.
But I also like knitting cozies with you.
You said that was boring.
Yeah, you know, boring's not always a bad thing.
Sometimes, I'm a little jealous of Harvey.
He gets to have fun with Foo and me and then come home and hang out with you guys.
I guess I just want that sometimes too.
Remember that time we ate peanut butter off the floor? And then we both got tummy aches and couldn't get up for an hour.
Or the time we switched around all of Irving's plants and it took him weeks before he figured it out.
Or the time we dropped Harvey's toothbrush in the toilet and didn't tell him.
- What? - Never mind.
- I'm having fun now.
- Yeah, me too.
Oh, it's the comet! Eh, seen it.
Okay, it doesn't have to be a totally normal night.
I hope the egg wasn't too much trouble.
We're back! Oh, welcome back.
Egg is just fine.
We're enjoying a nice, quiet night.
Ho ho.
Did you guys have a good time? Yeah, but I think we're just going to take it easy now.
Am we dreaming or is this reality?