Helluva Boss (2019) s01e08 Episode Script
Queen Bee
[Phone buzzes]
You want me to drop you off here?
Oh! Uh yeah, yeah this looks right
I uh haven't been here before
[House music picks up]
[Crowd cheers happily]
LOONAAAAA!!!
Hey girl! Glad you could make it!
Tex! Yeah, hey! Thanks for inviting me.
Course! Course! Hey everyone, meet the new face!
[Tex howls]
[Party guests howl in response]
You want a drink or anything?
Oh, uh sure, yeah, totally.
Off Screen: And so I told him, I'm not gonna go get it-
-unless you fucking throw it this time
That is so not fetch
Not fetch
Loona: hahaha, yeah like that happens all the time ah ha
O.M.G Loona?
Lunatic Loona?
That you?
Uhhh yeah. It's Loona yeah
Wow
I can't believe you're showing up to another party-
I mean, do you even remember the last one
I'm sure you'll remind me
Yeah, this
This you right?
[Growls]
Why do you still have that?
It brings me joy
You know you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy
[Growls]
Wow you're being really negative
You're aura is really aggressive right now
Oh yeah? Well maybe it's cause I'm in the presence of a massive BITCH!
[gasps]
Oh
my dog
wow.
What!? is that not an okay thing to say?
Like, come on! It's true!
[off screen] You can't say that
Did I miss anything?
No no no no nothing no.
[Off screen] HA HA! How my dirty bitches doing toniiiiight?
[Howls and cheers]
OW OW! Ya'll ready to party with the Queen Bee of Gluttony!
Come on!
Hell yeah! Cause the honey is flowing tonight-
And this bitch bout to get -
FUCKING!
WILD!
LETS GET IT STARTED!!!
[Cotton Candy begins playing]
[Lyrics] Cotton Candy, Cotton Candy
Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy
Hey! I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want
I got it all, a carnivale
I'll bring you up, I'll take you DOWN
I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like-
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'm whatchu want, not watchu need
Hey, I don't know why, I'm whatchu want but it's the truth
I'm not your lie, let them eat cake, let them eat PIE!
Or better yet, let them eat-
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'M WHATCHU WANT, NOT WATCHU NEED
COTTON CANDY SKIES!
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
YEAH
COTTON CANDY
I'm watchu want, not watchu need
SO WATCHU WANT!?
Ya hungry?
Take a BITE!
Get fucked TONIGHT!
So watchu want
Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff-
So keep making me that mother fucking honey
Yeah, keep it comin
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'm watchu want, not watchu need
COTTON CANDY SKIES
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT
COTTON CANDY SKIES
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CANT HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY
[Howls and cheers]
[off screen] OW OW! Vortex!
The party is buzzin now
FUCK!
I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time though
I have like a rainbow
In my vagina right now
Oh hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?
Excuse me?
She's a fuckin cutie! Where you been hiding girl? [laughs]
Is there something funny?
Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now
Tex says you don't get invited out much
I hope this itty bitty get together can serve as a fun first time
Mmhmm
I would have thrown a bigger one-
but I couldnt convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs
SO fuckin lame
I mean, I usually just steal them but Belle changed the locks
She says I'm a total "jackass" for trying but hey-
I'm proud to be a total jackass
Anyway, yeah Bee, this is Loona.
And Loona, this is my girlfriend Bee
Nice ta meetcha BITCH!
Oh this is
She's HOT!
Ha! Holy shit! Okay, Tex you didn't tell me she was hilarious
Thats so funny
Right
I love that that's the first thing you say to me
You don't give a shit how freaky you come off
And that's. Fucking. Beautiful.
You are my new favorite person
Am I though
Yeah BITCH!
No really-
Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on
I was like, OOF BOY! YOU ARE HOT AS HELL!
But then I wanted to die, cause it was so awkward
Cause he's more like a brother to me, you know?
But not ACTUALLY my brother so I guess
It was fine. I COULD hit that
Anyway girl, you have a good time tonight
Get some sweets, get some eats, drink it, tear it, fuck it up!
WHOO!
Cheers honey! Thank you for coming
Do you need anything? are you having fun? Are you good?
Are you drunk? Okay good, okay great
Yeeeah, I'm gonna go.
What? Why? You just got here, at least one drink right?
Nope, you really wouldn't like me after one drink
[Barking ringtone]
So stupid. I shouldn't have come
Hey Loonie, how ya doin? You alright?
Yeah I'm fine, I just wanna go
Hey hey! That sounds like Blitzo!
The "O" is silent asshole!
Hey hey, I knew it was you. Fuck man where you been? You here for the party?
No, I'm just here picking up my daughter
Oh shit! You have a daughter now?
ADOPTED!
Oh man, you're already leaving? Things just got started
Come in and show us all up again
No, no, thank you, but I think Loonie wants to head back
Huh, the hottie next to you wants to leave?
[Growls] Watch it
I mean, we could stay a little longer
I think we need to go mkay? I think it's been a long night
Well these people seem to know you.
Come on, I think I want to give this another try.
Pleeease?
Okay fine, maybe ONE drink
BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ!
Aaagh
[Howls and cheers]
[off screen] Oh wooow
HA! That was nothing bitch! Give me a real challenge!
Oh yeah? Wanna fucks with the big bitch imp boy?
I got a challenge for ya
Oh He's gonna die
Aaaalright, lets do this!
From Bee's personal supply, the hardest shit there is
You ready my man?
OH BORN READY!
Bring it barky! I will drink you under this fucking table-
You have no idea what kind of night I've had
Alright shit talker-
but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game
So you better bring the fire baby
Oh, is Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?
Oh okay, lets get in on you little bastard
[Gulping]
Come on Blitz! Fuck her up! You can do it!
Who's the queen now!?
Yeah! That's my DAD!
Well fuck me! That's a first, I haven't had a first in a while
That was magical, seriously, impressive.
I tip my crown to you imp boy
Respect
[Howls]
[Laughs]
Hey Loon, I don't mean to be a buzz kill here, but your uh, dad
guy dude
Is um He's seeming a bit
Out of control, like a mess.
Yeah it's worrisome, you wanna maybe check on him or somethin
What!? No! No, Blitz is fine. He's always a mess, trust me
Look honey, I see people having fun and getting fucked up all the time
but he's clearly getting wasted off his ass and causing problems on purpose
So I feel like, you should check up on him at least
Just see if something's up
Don't act like you know him like I do
I aint sayin that
I'm just pretty sure he's had like four tongues inside him at once
I mean Good for him, but
I can taste the flavor of people at my parties-
and he's giving off a very not okay vibe, you know?
Oh yeah, and I'd bet you'd know the "not okay" vibe right?
I mean everyone likes you so much
What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin sour cream?
Don't fuck with me!
Sorry, yeah nope, I'll uh I'll check on him
Uuuugh sorry, sorry. I know I got a little spicy there, I just-
hope everything works out. Now let's dance
BLITZ! BLITZ! Where are you shithead! Blitz-
Oh piss on a dick! What the fuck are you doing Blitz!
This guy
It looks like you're in the middle of a god damn orgy, STOP!
[Slurred] Look I didn't expect you to come in here and see any of this Loonie I'm so sorry-
but it's a party, I'm just havin fun with uh
the fuck is your name again?
Dennis
Christ on a stick, you would be a Dennis
Get the fuck away from me! I'm not fucking a Dennis tonight
I need a Monica or Alejandro in here STAT!
Better
You don't need anyone else sucking your face freaky weirdo
You need to drink something other than Beelzejuice
Uuuugh, no
Do you need to throw up?
Mmm..no
[Laughs] Yeah you do.
I had a really shitty day
Oh yeah? Is that why you drank like five gallons of who knows what?
Fuck, Fizz was right
I'm gonna die alone aren't I
Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste
Will you be there Loonie?
Be where?
I dunno jus- [Drunken mumbles] lonely Die alone
I'll be there dad
Now go the fuck to sleep okay?
[Drunken mumbling] Millie Moxxie Stolas
Fuck! Yeah, I did need to throw up
You want me to drop you off here?
Oh! Uh yeah, yeah this looks right
I uh haven't been here before
[House music picks up]
[Crowd cheers happily]
LOONAAAAA!!!
Hey girl! Glad you could make it!
Tex! Yeah, hey! Thanks for inviting me.
Course! Course! Hey everyone, meet the new face!
[Tex howls]
[Party guests howl in response]
You want a drink or anything?
Oh, uh sure, yeah, totally.
Off Screen: And so I told him, I'm not gonna go get it-
-unless you fucking throw it this time
That is so not fetch
Not fetch
Loona: hahaha, yeah like that happens all the time ah ha
O.M.G Loona?
Lunatic Loona?
That you?
Uhhh yeah. It's Loona yeah
Wow
I can't believe you're showing up to another party-
I mean, do you even remember the last one
I'm sure you'll remind me
Yeah, this
This you right?
[Growls]
Why do you still have that?
It brings me joy
You know you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy
[Growls]
Wow you're being really negative
You're aura is really aggressive right now
Oh yeah? Well maybe it's cause I'm in the presence of a massive BITCH!
[gasps]
Oh
my dog
wow.
What!? is that not an okay thing to say?
Like, come on! It's true!
[off screen] You can't say that
Did I miss anything?
No no no no nothing no.
[Off screen] HA HA! How my dirty bitches doing toniiiiight?
[Howls and cheers]
OW OW! Ya'll ready to party with the Queen Bee of Gluttony!
Come on!
Hell yeah! Cause the honey is flowing tonight-
And this bitch bout to get -
FUCKING!
WILD!
LETS GET IT STARTED!!!
[Cotton Candy begins playing]
[Lyrics] Cotton Candy, Cotton Candy
Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy
Hey! I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want
I got it all, a carnivale
I'll bring you up, I'll take you DOWN
I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like-
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'm whatchu want, not watchu need
Hey, I don't know why, I'm whatchu want but it's the truth
I'm not your lie, let them eat cake, let them eat PIE!
Or better yet, let them eat-
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'M WHATCHU WANT, NOT WATCHU NEED
COTTON CANDY SKIES!
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
YEAH
COTTON CANDY
I'm watchu want, not watchu need
SO WATCHU WANT!?
Ya hungry?
Take a BITE!
Get fucked TONIGHT!
So watchu want
Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff-
So keep making me that mother fucking honey
Yeah, keep it comin
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
COTTON CANDY
I'm watchu want, not watchu need
COTTON CANDY SKIES
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT
COTTON CANDY SKIES
SWEET AS APPLE PIE
I CANT HELP BUT SHINE
BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY
[Howls and cheers]
[off screen] OW OW! Vortex!
The party is buzzin now
FUCK!
I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time though
I have like a rainbow
In my vagina right now
Oh hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?
Excuse me?
She's a fuckin cutie! Where you been hiding girl? [laughs]
Is there something funny?
Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now
Tex says you don't get invited out much
I hope this itty bitty get together can serve as a fun first time
Mmhmm
I would have thrown a bigger one-
but I couldnt convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs
SO fuckin lame
I mean, I usually just steal them but Belle changed the locks
She says I'm a total "jackass" for trying but hey-
I'm proud to be a total jackass
Anyway, yeah Bee, this is Loona.
And Loona, this is my girlfriend Bee
Nice ta meetcha BITCH!
Oh this is
She's HOT!
Ha! Holy shit! Okay, Tex you didn't tell me she was hilarious
Thats so funny
Right
I love that that's the first thing you say to me
You don't give a shit how freaky you come off
And that's. Fucking. Beautiful.
You are my new favorite person
Am I though
Yeah BITCH!
No really-
Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on
I was like, OOF BOY! YOU ARE HOT AS HELL!
But then I wanted to die, cause it was so awkward
Cause he's more like a brother to me, you know?
But not ACTUALLY my brother so I guess
It was fine. I COULD hit that
Anyway girl, you have a good time tonight
Get some sweets, get some eats, drink it, tear it, fuck it up!
WHOO!
Cheers honey! Thank you for coming
Do you need anything? are you having fun? Are you good?
Are you drunk? Okay good, okay great
Yeeeah, I'm gonna go.
What? Why? You just got here, at least one drink right?
Nope, you really wouldn't like me after one drink
[Barking ringtone]
So stupid. I shouldn't have come
Hey Loonie, how ya doin? You alright?
Yeah I'm fine, I just wanna go
Hey hey! That sounds like Blitzo!
The "O" is silent asshole!
Hey hey, I knew it was you. Fuck man where you been? You here for the party?
No, I'm just here picking up my daughter
Oh shit! You have a daughter now?
ADOPTED!
Oh man, you're already leaving? Things just got started
Come in and show us all up again
No, no, thank you, but I think Loonie wants to head back
Huh, the hottie next to you wants to leave?
[Growls] Watch it
I mean, we could stay a little longer
I think we need to go mkay? I think it's been a long night
Well these people seem to know you.
Come on, I think I want to give this another try.
Pleeease?
Okay fine, maybe ONE drink
BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ!
Aaagh
[Howls and cheers]
[off screen] Oh wooow
HA! That was nothing bitch! Give me a real challenge!
Oh yeah? Wanna fucks with the big bitch imp boy?
I got a challenge for ya
Oh He's gonna die
Aaaalright, lets do this!
From Bee's personal supply, the hardest shit there is
You ready my man?
OH BORN READY!
Bring it barky! I will drink you under this fucking table-
You have no idea what kind of night I've had
Alright shit talker-
but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game
So you better bring the fire baby
Oh, is Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?
Oh okay, lets get in on you little bastard
[Gulping]
Come on Blitz! Fuck her up! You can do it!
Who's the queen now!?
Yeah! That's my DAD!
Well fuck me! That's a first, I haven't had a first in a while
That was magical, seriously, impressive.
I tip my crown to you imp boy
Respect
[Howls]
[Laughs]
Hey Loon, I don't mean to be a buzz kill here, but your uh, dad
guy dude
Is um He's seeming a bit
Out of control, like a mess.
Yeah it's worrisome, you wanna maybe check on him or somethin
What!? No! No, Blitz is fine. He's always a mess, trust me
Look honey, I see people having fun and getting fucked up all the time
but he's clearly getting wasted off his ass and causing problems on purpose
So I feel like, you should check up on him at least
Just see if something's up
Don't act like you know him like I do
I aint sayin that
I'm just pretty sure he's had like four tongues inside him at once
I mean Good for him, but
I can taste the flavor of people at my parties-
and he's giving off a very not okay vibe, you know?
Oh yeah, and I'd bet you'd know the "not okay" vibe right?
I mean everyone likes you so much
What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin sour cream?
Don't fuck with me!
Sorry, yeah nope, I'll uh I'll check on him
Uuuugh sorry, sorry. I know I got a little spicy there, I just-
hope everything works out. Now let's dance
BLITZ! BLITZ! Where are you shithead! Blitz-
Oh piss on a dick! What the fuck are you doing Blitz!
This guy
It looks like you're in the middle of a god damn orgy, STOP!
[Slurred] Look I didn't expect you to come in here and see any of this Loonie I'm so sorry-
but it's a party, I'm just havin fun with uh
the fuck is your name again?
Dennis
Christ on a stick, you would be a Dennis
Get the fuck away from me! I'm not fucking a Dennis tonight
I need a Monica or Alejandro in here STAT!
Better
You don't need anyone else sucking your face freaky weirdo
You need to drink something other than Beelzejuice
Uuuugh, no
Do you need to throw up?
Mmm..no
[Laughs] Yeah you do.
I had a really shitty day
Oh yeah? Is that why you drank like five gallons of who knows what?
Fuck, Fizz was right
I'm gonna die alone aren't I
Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste
Will you be there Loonie?
Be where?
I dunno jus- [Drunken mumbles] lonely Die alone
I'll be there dad
Now go the fuck to sleep okay?
[Drunken mumbling] Millie Moxxie Stolas
Fuck! Yeah, I did need to throw up