Home Movie: The Princess Bride (2020) s01e08 Episode Script
Chapter Eight: Ultimate Suffering
1
But Vizzini is dead.
But Vizzini is dead.
But Vizzini is dead.
Sleep. Kaput. No more.
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
GRANDFATHER: "Fezzik
and Inigo were reunited
and as Fezzik nursed his
inebriated friend back to health,
he told Inigo of Vizzini's death
and the existence of Count
Rugen, the six-fingered man.
Considering Inigo's life-long search,
he handled the news surprisingly well."
That's enough. That's enough!
Where is this Rugen now?
So that I may kill him.
He's in the princess with the castle.
But the castle is guarded by 30 men.
Ah!
How many could you handle?
[COUNTING QUIETLY]
Ten, I don't think more than 10.
Leaving 20 for me.
I need Vizzini to plan.
But Vizzini is dead.
No, not Vizzini.
- I need the Man in Black.
- What?
Look, he bested you with
strength, your greatness.
He bested me with steel.
He must have out-thought Vizzini.
And a man who can do that,
can plan my castle onslaught any day!
- Let's go.
- Where?
To find the Man in Black obviously!
But you don't know where he is.
Don't bother me with trifles.
After 20 years, at last my
father's soul will be at peace.
There will be blood tonight!
[BLADE SHARPENING]
Rise and report.
The Thieves' Forest is emptied.
Thirty men guard the castle gate.
Double it.
I want my princess safe.
There is but one key.
And I carry that.
[CHUCKLES]
Ah, my dulcet darling.
Tonight we marry.
And tomorrow morning, your men
will escort us to Florin Channel
where every ship in my
armada waits to accompany us
on our honeymoon.
Every ship but your
four fastest, you mean.
Every ship but the four you sent.
Oh, yes, yes, of course!
Naturally, naturally not those four.
[CLEARS THROAT] Your majesties.
You never sent the ships.
Don't bother lying.
Doesn't matter. My Westley
will come for me anyway.
You're a silly girl.
For not having seen sooner that you are
nothing but a coward
with a heart full of fear.
I would not say such
things if I were you.
Why not? You can't hurt me.
[BLADE CLICKS]
Westley and I are joined
by the bonds of love.
And you cannot touch that.
Not with a thousand bloodhounds.
And you cannot break it.
Not with a thousand swords.
And when I say you're a coward,
it is because you are
the slimiest weakling
ever to crawl the earth.
I would not say such
things if I were you!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
You truly love each other, and so
you might have been truly happy.
Not one couple in a
century has that chance,
no matter what the storybook says.
So I think no man in a century
will suffer as greatly as you will.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
Not to 50!
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
[ECHOING]
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
Father I have
failed you for 20 years.
Now, our misery can end.
Somewhere somewhere
close by is the man who can help us.
I cannot find him alone.
I need you.
I need you to guide my sword.
Please.
[STREET NOISE]
Guide my sword.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
He's dead.
Wait, wait, what did
Fezzik mean, "He's dead"?
I mean, he didn't mean dead.
Westley is only faking.
- Right?
- You want me to read this or not?
Who gets Humperdinck?
- I don't understand.
- Who kills Prince Humperdinck?
At the end, somebody's gotta do it.
Is it Inigo? Who?
Ah, nobody.
You mean he wins?
Jesus, Grandpa, what did
you read me this thing for?
You know, you've been very sick lately
and you're taking this
story very seriously.
I think this is a good place to stop.
No, I'm okay, I'm okay.
Sit down. I'm all right.
Okay.
Where were we? Oh, yes.
In the Pit of Despair.
Well we Montoyas have
never taken defeat easily.
Come along, Fezzik, bring the body.
- The body?
- Have you any money?
I have a little.
I just hope it's enough to
buy a miracle, that's all.
♪
[KNOCKING]
What? What?
But Vizzini is dead.
But Vizzini is dead.
But Vizzini is dead.
Sleep. Kaput. No more.
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
GRANDFATHER: "Fezzik
and Inigo were reunited
and as Fezzik nursed his
inebriated friend back to health,
he told Inigo of Vizzini's death
and the existence of Count
Rugen, the six-fingered man.
Considering Inigo's life-long search,
he handled the news surprisingly well."
That's enough. That's enough!
Where is this Rugen now?
So that I may kill him.
He's in the princess with the castle.
But the castle is guarded by 30 men.
Ah!
How many could you handle?
[COUNTING QUIETLY]
Ten, I don't think more than 10.
Leaving 20 for me.
I need Vizzini to plan.
But Vizzini is dead.
No, not Vizzini.
- I need the Man in Black.
- What?
Look, he bested you with
strength, your greatness.
He bested me with steel.
He must have out-thought Vizzini.
And a man who can do that,
can plan my castle onslaught any day!
- Let's go.
- Where?
To find the Man in Black obviously!
But you don't know where he is.
Don't bother me with trifles.
After 20 years, at last my
father's soul will be at peace.
There will be blood tonight!
[BLADE SHARPENING]
Rise and report.
The Thieves' Forest is emptied.
Thirty men guard the castle gate.
Double it.
I want my princess safe.
There is but one key.
And I carry that.
[CHUCKLES]
Ah, my dulcet darling.
Tonight we marry.
And tomorrow morning, your men
will escort us to Florin Channel
where every ship in my
armada waits to accompany us
on our honeymoon.
Every ship but your
four fastest, you mean.
Every ship but the four you sent.
Oh, yes, yes, of course!
Naturally, naturally not those four.
[CLEARS THROAT] Your majesties.
You never sent the ships.
Don't bother lying.
Doesn't matter. My Westley
will come for me anyway.
You're a silly girl.
For not having seen sooner that you are
nothing but a coward
with a heart full of fear.
I would not say such
things if I were you.
Why not? You can't hurt me.
[BLADE CLICKS]
Westley and I are joined
by the bonds of love.
And you cannot touch that.
Not with a thousand bloodhounds.
And you cannot break it.
Not with a thousand swords.
And when I say you're a coward,
it is because you are
the slimiest weakling
ever to crawl the earth.
I would not say such
things if I were you!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
You truly love each other, and so
you might have been truly happy.
Not one couple in a
century has that chance,
no matter what the storybook says.
So I think no man in a century
will suffer as greatly as you will.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
Not to 50!
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
[ECHOING]
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
Father I have
failed you for 20 years.
Now, our misery can end.
Somewhere somewhere
close by is the man who can help us.
I cannot find him alone.
I need you.
I need you to guide my sword.
Please.
[STREET NOISE]
Guide my sword.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
He's dead.
Wait, wait, what did
Fezzik mean, "He's dead"?
I mean, he didn't mean dead.
Westley is only faking.
- Right?
- You want me to read this or not?
Who gets Humperdinck?
- I don't understand.
- Who kills Prince Humperdinck?
At the end, somebody's gotta do it.
Is it Inigo? Who?
Ah, nobody.
You mean he wins?
Jesus, Grandpa, what did
you read me this thing for?
You know, you've been very sick lately
and you're taking this
story very seriously.
I think this is a good place to stop.
No, I'm okay, I'm okay.
Sit down. I'm all right.
Okay.
Where were we? Oh, yes.
In the Pit of Despair.
Well we Montoyas have
never taken defeat easily.
Come along, Fezzik, bring the body.
- The body?
- Have you any money?
I have a little.
I just hope it's enough to
buy a miracle, that's all.
♪
[KNOCKING]
What? What?