Hotel Babylon (2006) s01e08 Episode Script

CHARLIE: When you make a reservation at a hotel, you need to know what you're getting for your money, which is why every hotel is graded by stars.
One star, you get a bed and a toilet.
Two stars, you get the bed, you get the toilet and you get the bath.
Three stars, you get the bed, the toilet, the bath, the telly and room service.
Four stars, you get the bed, the toilet, the bath, the telly, room service, laundry collection and the gym.
Five stars, you get it all and more.
Want us to turn your room into an office? We can do that.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE) Want a massage that goes that little bit further? Not a problem.
Want cocktails served on the roof during an electrical storm? Consider it done.
For five stars, nothing is beyond the call of duty.
# Rock a bye baby on the treetop # When the wind blows, the cradle will rock # When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall # And down will come baby, cradle and all # ALL: Gino! -Great.
-What? (BABY BAWLING) "Were you offered any form of refreshment upon arrival? No! "Was your bed turned down in the evening? No! "Did staff initiate conversation? No! "Were food and refreshments well prepared and presented? "Room for improvement!" Every single one of you, your job is on the line.
If we lose a star because of this report, we have to drop our rates.
If we drop our rates, we have to shed staff.
And you lot are first on my list.
How do you do, sir? Oh, shit.
Nobody leaves this meeting until I get some answers.
(PHONE RINGING) Thanks, Ben.
She knows I'm here.
Any of that coffee going spare? Adrian, this is a surprise.
I think you know everyone here.
Tony.
Charlie.
Jackie.
-I'm not familiar with you.
-No, not yet.
Anna Thornton-Wilton, our head receptionist.
Adrian McBride.
European Director of the Babylon Group.
Wow.
Gorgeous and important.
Now, despite the recent setback, I know this hotel is worthy of its five star status, but I do want you all to raise your game to ensure that we breeze through the follow-up inspection.
And if nobody minds, I'm gonna hang around for a bit, just to see for myself how good you guys really are.
Er, that's about it really.
I'll hand you back to Rebecca.
Thank you, Adrian.
It's always a pleasure to have you here, however unexpected.
Right.
Reservations to be aware of, Mr Dwayne Johnson, better known to you and I as The Rock.
Mr big movie action man? Oh! I'm a big fan of MyMummy Returns.
He's over here on a publicity junket and has reserved the Pyramid suite.
Autograph books away, please, ladies.
Let's give him some peace and quiet.
Shame.
Nothing to worry about from me, Rebecca.
I don't do muscles.
I like my men strong on the inside.
Right.
REBECCA: Also arriving today for three days is a group from the Nanec Computer Training Course.
Quick as you can, delegates, please.
Up the stairs to the conference rooms, gentlemen.
We've got a lot to get through this weekend.
Very tight schedule.
Orange and lemon squash will be available.
Geeks.
One other guest to be aware of is Mr Wiltshire, who will be in the Hanging Gardens suite.
Never heard of him.
Well, that's because he isn't famous and Wiltshire isn't his real name.
The gentleman will be appearing at the Old Bailey on Monday, and he will be guarded by armed police during his entire stay.
How long is his stay? As yet, undecided.
It could be for one night, could be for the duration of the trial.
He is a high-security risk and therefore the 9th floor will be closed and off limits.
What kind of trial is it, Rebecca? I mean, he's not some sort of pervy serial killer, is he? No.
If they're putting him up here, then he must be their star witness.
That's correct, Tony.
So, armed police, witness protection.
Do we know enough about this guy? We are saying this Mr Wiltshire is Mafioso, yes? I have served a lot of these guys over the years.
Heavy-weight people.
Murderous scum, but big tippers.
I don't imagine Mr Wiltshire will be spending much time in the bar, considering his circumstances.
Maybe not him, but the people they will send to kill him.
-What? -To kill? -TONY: That's not funny, Gino.
-I will order in some more grappa, just in case.
Any queries or issues regarding Mr Wiltshire should be directed to Charlie.
You're okay to handle this one personally, aren't you, Charlie? Yep.
Sure.
Employee life insurance does take care of this kind of stuff, doesn't it? You know, if you're uncomfortable looking after this Mr Wiltshire, you should have refused to do it.
Not a good career move, especially with the European Director in the building.
-What's he doing here anyway? -It's a chain of command thing, isn't it? After a bad inspection, the manager threatens to sack the staff and the European Director threatens to sack the manager.
Well, he's not gonna get rid of Rebecca, is he? This Adrian chap, do we know if he's single? Don't even think about it, Anna.
Don't even think about it, Anna.
-So, what would you like to see first, Adrian? -What are you proud of? Oh, Rebecca.
Reservations have been on the phone.
-Dwayne Johnson has cancelled.
-The Rock? -Mmm.
I'm afraid, Rebecca, we've lost The Rock.
-Why did he cancel? Oh, his publicist said they got a better rate from Claridge's.
Word gets out that standards have slipped, this sort of thing can happen.
This is an isolated incident.
Did you see that? Couldn't take his eyes off me.
Maybe he was deciding whether or not to fire you.
If anyone's going to get fired from the reception staff, Ben, it will be you.
-I've been working here longer than you have.
-Yes, but I have a more superior position.
I'm better at dealing with guests than you.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
-Oh, really? -Really.
-Oh, whatever.
-We'll see.
Okay, well, we'lljust let Adrian be the judge of that, won't we? -Hi.
-Hello.
Good morning, madam.
Oh! You look tremendous today.
Oh, thank you.
Sorry, gentlemen.
We have a policy about large dogs in the hotel foyer.
If there's anything unsatisfactory, then please don't hesitate to call.
Trust me.
Where this bloke's coming from, he won't be complaining about anything.
You do know he's been in prison for the last 10 years? Clearly I wasn't made aware of all the facts.
Let's not take any chances with this bloke.
(PHONE RINGING) Three.
Four.
No, leave it.
Five, six.
Good morning.
Reception.
We hope you enjoyed your stay.
Please do come back again soon.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Anna, why are we not referring to guests by name? Normally we do, but I decided to make an exception with Mr Wasalam Wasalam Wasalamundida Wasalamu Wasalamudiyanse.
Sri Lankan, I believe.
Thanks, Ben.
Let's see if we can answer the phone within three rings in future.
MAN: All right.
He's over there.
Obviously, security is your number one concern at the moment, which is why we've allocated you a suite on the top floor.
The added bonus being, of course, that you get to enjoy the best views.
Is there anything else that I can -All clear? -Clear.
Then get out of my room, filth.
We're gonna be stationed right outside the door.
-Any danger of getting us a couple of chairs? -You can stand for all I care.
You don't frighten me, grandad.
Coffee anyone? -What are you doing up here? -I ran out of king-size doubles.
So what's he like, this big scary gangster? -Mr Wiltshire? -Mmm-hmm.
Well, let's just say I wouldn't like to meet him in a dark alley, or a brightly lit one, actually, for that matter.
Well, I have a surprise for you later on.
-A little two-month anniversary celebration.
-Two months.
Yeah, that's a long time.
Yeah, well, it is when you haven't got to know anything about a person.
I know loads of stuff about you.
-What's this surprise, then? -That isn't the surprise.
-Give us a clue.
-Would it kill you to wait a few hours? That's not a good choice of words, considering the situation.
Hmm.
-Please tell me I didn't just see that, Gino.
-I was just tasting it to see that it is just right.
I've never heard of a barman tasting cocktails from the glass before he sends them out.
The chef put his dirty, grimy finger every meal he makes.
Nobody makes a complaint about that.
It's a work in progress.
Say what you like about me, but I'm a perfectionist.
You're supposed to know cocktail recipes by heart.
Yeah, this is something new for a very special occasion.
Well, if an inspector catches you drinking behind the bar, that's a point against us.
Don't do it again.
(PAGER BEEPING) It's been such a pleasure having you stay with us, Mr Lincoln.
-We can't wait to see you again soon.
-Oh, thank you.
You're keeping score? Well, I think Adrian will be very interested to know who is the most productive member of the reception staff.
You want a war? I'll give you war.
Hi.
Looking for a room? Hello.
-Hi there.
-Hi! Hello? -I need it.
Give me that.
-It's mine! I'm planning on going through the customer satisfaction reports tonight.
Can you stay late to help? -I'm sorry, I have plans.
-What plans? It's our anniversary this weekend.
Mark and I have agreed to spend some time together.
-I suppose I could make a call.
-No.
It's fine.
Okay.
Let me see.
-Is that what I think it is? -Mmm-hmm.
Mrs Thompson, I assume? -Turdy Thompson strikes again.
-She's done this before? The elusive Mrs Thompson is always kind enough to leave the chambermaid a little something.
-How much longer is she here? -Two nights.
I think it's time we had a polite word with the lady.
Hmm.
I'm looking forward to meeting her.
-You paged me? -Lunch for Mr Wiltshire.
Why can't one of your waiters take it? They're refusing to on the grounds that they all have an aversion to violent death.
As do I, oddly enough.
-He's a convicted armed robber, not a murderer.
-Oh.
Well, I'll be sure to inform your grieving mother of that fact as they cremate your headless corpse.
Hang on a minute.
Just making sure it ain't poisoned.
Mr Wiltshire, lunch is served.
I'll set your lunch up over in the corner, sir.
What have we got here? -Dover sole à la meunière.
-Ponce food.
I can arrange for something else to be ordered up, sir, if you'd like.
-Did they spit on it? -Sir? The filth in the corridor.
Did they gob on it? -No, sir.
-You sure? -Positive.
-Then I'll take it.
I'm not used to posh cutlery.
Well, the general rule is, really, to work from the outside in towards the plate.
Glassware on the right, side plate on the left.
Napkin in the collar.
That's your prerogative, sir.
What's your name, son? Charlie, sir.
-Charlie Sir? -Charlie.
Charlie Edwards.
Nobody's called me "sir" for a long time, so let's drop it.
Very well, Mr Wiltshire.
Mr Wiltshire ain't my name, either, as well you know.
If you don't wish for me to call you "sir" or "Mr Wiltshire", thenwhat? -Oh, you can call me Bones.
-Bones? As in -He's a pussycat.
-Yeah, but Wiltshire's not the danger, is he? These are the guys I'm worried about.
The ones he's stupidly testifying against.
Well, he's been inside for a decade.
What's he got to lose? His life.
If he's been inside for the last 10 years, why has he suddenly decided to start grassing on people now? I don't know.
Redemption? It's not gonna make a lot of difference if he's a reformed character or not.
These guys are coming to get him.
I just hope I'm not on shift when that happens.
One hour for lunch, everybody.
Strictly mineral water, no wine.
Don't want to interfere with those delicate internal processors, do we? (ALL LAUGHING) -Can you sign this for me, Tony? -Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Cheers.
-Fish.
-Dead fish.
-Rotten, stinking, dead fish.
-It's gangland code.
They know Wiltshire's here and they are gonna kill him.
Impossible.
Or maybe they sent some dead fish just to help out in the restaurant.
-Rebecca, he can't stay here.
-But we can't move him.
When did this become your hotel? He should be back in prison, not living it up at the taxpayers' expense.
I agree with you, shorty, but the deal is he gets a reduced sentence and a five-star suite for the duration of the trial.
He won't negotiate on that, and without his evidence, there is no trial.
Your call.
Mr Wiltshire has rented the entire 9th floor, albeit at the taxpayers' expense.
If we have to bump him to another hotel now, we'll never fill all of these rooms by tonight.
He stays.
Sorry, tell me again, what's the order? Profits first, then the safety of the staff? Well, I better write it on the back of my hand so I don't forget, Rebecca.
-You paged me? -Your poo-in-the-bed-lady, Mrs Thompson.
You wanted to know when she was next in the lobby.
I'm going to enjoy this.
Madam, this is a rather delicate matter, so I'll come straight to the point.
My chambermaids are refusing to clean your room.
Now, if it's a medical condition, then you have my full sympathy, but I don't think that's quite what we're talking about here.
You know what I'm saying? That's not Mrs Thompson.
That's Mrs Thompson.
I'll arrange for a porter to bring your bags up, madam, and if you require anything further, just ask for Ben, the receptionist you can trust.
Thank you.
One more for me, one less for you.
-Charlie.
-I'm off-shift, Ben.
Jackie wanted a room inspection.
Hmm.
What number? Oh, sorry.
Um I thought I'd bring you the customer satisfaction reports.
You asked to see them.
You'd better come in.
You know, I must have been on 80 flights this year so far, and I still don't know how to pack properly.
So, how's Paris? Oh, you know the French.
Not renowned for their extravagant tips.
I have to be there next week to interview for a new general manager.
-I didn't know Jean Marc was leaving.
-He's been poached.
He's left me in the shit.
No point in offering you the Paris job, I suppose? I'd bite your hand off.
-Can you start in a month? -Sorry, no.
Six weeks, then.
I'll advertise for someone to take over here and you can join me in Paris.
I don't think the Paris job is for me.
Well, it is our flagship hotel, and a second ago, you were biting my hand off.
It was an involuntary reaction.
My life is here in London with Mark.
I turned down your room, Mr Oh.
-Tanya.
-I come back later.
This is probably not gonna look too good.
Is this really a good idea considering Adrian's about? Don't worry about Adrian.
For the first time ever, when we're done, we don't have to go anywhere.
We've got the whole night.
-You rented the suite? -I got a discount.
Might not have been good enough for The Rock, but it's good enough for us.
-Room service? -Yes, please.
CHARLIE: Consider the average life expectancy of a hotel bed.
In just five years, it will support over 300 tons of sleeping weight.
It will have three bodies dying on it.
And it will endure an average of 2,000 mating couples.
For this reason alone, hotels choose their beds on grounds of durability and safety.
You'll notice there's never a sharp corner on a hotel bed.
I don't know what it is, but when people come to a hotel, they like to have sex.
Maybe it's a feeling of celebration.
A break from routine.
A change of environment.
Or maybe they just think they can get away with it.
No, wait.
I can't do this.
REBECCA: I understand why you're angry.
MARK: I'm not angry.
-You vandalised my car.
-You vandalised our wedding vows.
MARK: I'm sorry.
You decide what you want.
What have I told you about coming into occupied rooms? I didn't know who else to tell.
Mr and Mrs Szabados in room 806 called reception.
-There's water streaming in through their ceiling.
-So call maintenance.
The water's coming from the 9th floor.
Mr Wiltshire's suite.
Everyone's too scared to go up there.
Great.
Mr Wiltshire? Sir? Sir? Oh, Charlie.
What are you doing here? Your bath's overflowing.
It's dripping on a Hungarian couple below.
-Have they come yet? -They? Yeah, my friends.
You know, I haven't seen them for ages.
It'd be great to catch up.
This water's stone-cold.
-I need to get you out before you get pneumonia.
-Oh, God.
Charlie, when they come, send them straight up with a bottle of wine and some crisps.
Yeah, everybody likes crisps.
Yeah.
It'll be It'll be all right.
You know that They're friends.
Yeah.
It It won't be It won't be a problem.
Won't be Won't be a problem.
Good morning.
Breakfast is served.
Good God.
They'll rent out rooms to just about anyone these days.
Would you mind putting that over there, please, boy? Imagine starting every day like this.
-Together? -No.
I mean being served.
What must it be like to wake up and be waited on every day of your life? -Ah, you'd get bored of it.
-I don't think I would.
Wake up and smell the semi-skimmed latte, Jackie.
If that's the life you want, I think you're with the wrong man.
-Are the staff always this rude? -Checkout is usually 11:00 am, but, Jackie, you have a delivery of scrubbing brushes to sign for, and, Charlie, there's a sewage issue on the third floor -that requires your urgent attention -Out! What? And no tip? Bloody peasants.
I'll be in the shower if you want me.
And you'd better want me.
-Miss Mitchell.
-Tanya.
Listen, um, about last night.
-I was just delivering some paperwork, that's all.
-He's handsome man.
-A little old for me, but for you, not so old.
-Nothing happened.
And I'd appreciate it if you said nothing to the rest of the staff.
-What do I have to gain from gossiping? -Exactly.
What interests me is what have I to gain from not gossiping.
Perhaps a few shifts in the restaurant where the big money tips are.
I trust you've all rebooted sufficiently for today's course, gentlemen.
We have a lot to learn.
-Good morning.
-Morning.
-I hope I didn't embarrass you last night.
-I talked to Tanya.
She won't be saying anything.
-No, I mean about the Paris job.
-Not at all.
I was flattered.
-But Mark's work is -Mark's a doctor, isn't he? I'm pretty certain people still get sick in France.
-It's not a decision I can make without him.
-It would be quite an adventure.
-Mark's not looking for an adventure.
-Are you? -You enjoy your job, don't you? -Yeah.
It's got its perks.
In you go.
Erm, not that one.
-Can I ask you a question, Mr Bones? -Yeah.
There's something about your stay that's bothering me.
Go on.
Go ahead.
Why a hotel? The guy outside said you'd only take the stand if you could stay in a five star hotel.
Well, you know, every moment I spent in the cell, I tried to think of it like this.
-The space, the cleanliness, the -The locked door? Well, if you ever do time, you'll know what I mean.
I might not have done 10 years, but I did survive 12 months.
Oh.
I bet you keep that a little secret in this place.
I've made my fair share of mistakes, just like a lot of people.
I mean, it just seems to me like you've moved from one cell to another.
If we don't make our feelings known, then nothing's gonna change.
I suggest that we go to Rebecca, put forward our ultimatum.
-What ultimatum is this? -Either Wiltshire goes, or we refuse to work.
And you all feel this way, do you? Last time I look at my wages, I don't see the words "danger money".
I'm too young and too fabulous to die.
-So you're gonna go on strike? -If Rebecca doesn't do as we ask.
This really is the worst possible time to go to Rebecca with a threat.
Surely you can see that.
We've just had a damning report.
We could be getting downgraded to a four star hotel, and to top that, we've got the European Director in the building.
But, hey, if you all want to be unemployed by the end of the day, then go right ahead.
Nobody is gonna lose their jobs.
Let's not forget Rebecca's position is on the line as well.
Same as everyone else's here.
This is where we should be showing her a little bit of loyalty, not stab her in the back.
-Tony.
-Yeah.
-What's this? -Panic alarm.
In light of the concerns over Mr Wiltshire's stay, I'm giving one to all senior members of staff.
(BEEPING) They're all connected, so one person pushes the panic button, we all go off.
I remember them from the Bush visit.
Will that go some way to alleviating your worries? It's a start.
When's he leaving? When he's satisfied we're not gonna lose him a fortune.
I don't need to remind you of the financial implications of losing a star.
The inspectors caught us on a bad day, that's all.
If we did lose a star, theoretically, what would you do? Work day and night until we got it back.
You wouldn't jump ship to another hotel? I mean, you must get offers all the time.
My loyalty is here.
James.
Is this all we've got booked in for the early sitting tonight? -Mr and Mrs T.
Table for two.
-They're a delightful couple.
It's hardly worth chef turning on the ovens.
I'm sure things will pick up as the evening progresses, Rebecca.
They better had.
I don't care if you have to drag people in off the streets, I want this restaurant full and busy by 7:30.
Thanks.
What's all this? Oh, I just thought they might brighten the place up a bit.
Good idea.
-What do you think? -Very smart.
-Are you okay with me being here? -Why wouldn't I be? Well, the last time I came, we, um You've been here for 24 hours.
That's the first time you've mentioned it.
I was waiting for you to bring it into conversation.
Adrian, a lot's happened in the last two months.
Mark and I have sorted some stuff out.
I know the deal.
I'm single, you're not.
Which is why I left you alone for so long, but I need to know.
-Is there a chance? -Like you said.
You're single, I'm not.
If it was the other way round, I'd do what it takes to be with you.
You'd leave a hypothetical wife for me? I'm confused.
Is that flattering or not? Look, the last time I was here, I did something stupid -Well, that definitely isn't flattering.
-No, no, Rebecca.
The stupid thing being I didn't take you with me when I left.
I don't want to make that mistake again.
(ALARM BLARING) Ladies and gentlemen, that is the fire alarm.
If I could I ask you to quickly and calmly move outside.
Thank you very much.
Through the main doors.
Thank you, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
Nobody is allowed to use the lifts during an alarm.
But my laptop.
I need my laptop.
It's for your own safety, sir.
Thank you very much.
-I don't like the look of this.
-No.
Me neither.
Do you think Rebecca is testing us on the safety procedure? Either that, or it's a deliberate diversion.
-I'm gonna go and check on Mr Wiltshire.
-Okay.
Charlie! Charlie! You got one of these? Thank you, sir.
As quick as you like.
What's the alarm for? It's a fire alarm.
It could mean a number of things, but we need to evacuate the building now.
Maybe you can take the gun out of my face.
He's refusing to move, and I can't say I blame him.
Why don't I try talking to him? -What happened to knocking? -I'm afraid we have to move you right now.
I don't run or hide from anyone.
-This isn't your battle, Charlie, so get out.
-I think they might be coming to kill you.
Yeah, good.
So be it.
This is what you wanted to happen, isn't it? The pills in the bathroom You've not come here for the trial.
You've not come here to try and escape.
You've come here to die.
Cheers.
-Out of the building, please! -Yeah, I'm going.
-Now! -Okay.
Everybody out! Okay, it's all clear.
Yeah.
We should get out, too.
Adrian.
The Paris job.
-Why did you offer it to me? -You know why.
So if I was to say yes to the job, I'd be saying yes to us.
That's what I want.
But it's not down to me, is it? -I'm coming with you.
-How soon can you join me? No, I mean I'm coming with you tonight.
-Are you sure about this? -No, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Our system was hacked into.
Somehow they found a way to trigger the alarm.
Back to work, delegates.
We have a lot to compress this afternoon.
Do you think our computer friends could have had anything to do with it? Well, we have no proof.
Just reassure people as best you can that there is no danger.
Oh, it's not working! System support won't be here for another two hours.
Maybe we won't have to wait that long.
-I think I see what your problem is here.
-I knew you could fix it.
I was drawn to you in the lobby, and I thought, "There's a man that can.
" Yeah, the doctors have given me a couple of months.
Heart condition.
I always thought I'd die of something a little more exotic, but what can you do? How accurate their timescale bollocks will be is anybody's guess, but you know the legal process, Charlie, how slow it is, and with a tasty lawyer, you can stretch it out forever.
And never tell them what they want to hear.
Very clever.
There's one small problem, though.
What happens if your friends turn up before your heart packs in? Well, you gotta die sooner or later, so what's the difference? I mean, you can't control the when and how, but you do have some say over the where.
In a stinking prison cell or a nice five star hotel? You've been inside, Charlie.
What would you choose? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Boss, you're needed.
Tony, whatever it is, I'm sure you can deal with it yourself.
I think you'll want to see this.
Mark! What are you doing here? I got a call.
Someone said you wanted to see me.
Happy anniversary, Mr and Mrs Thorne.
Two Alaskan Pigmies.
The drinks, I mean.
As enjoyed on your honeymoon in Barbados, if I am correct.
Mmm.
Just as I remember it.
Vodka, lime, grenadine, the pulp of an acerola and just a hint of maraschino cherry.
-Three days to find the recipe.
-Mr and Mrs Thorne.
Your table's ready.
-You arranged this? -We all played a little part.
A table for two.
Mr and Mrs T.
And we're fully booked for the second sitting if it makes you feel better.
Your waitress will be here in a moment.
-Have you seen this menu? -I thought you'd know it off by heart.
This is the exact same menu we catered at our wedding reception.
Well, whatever you're paying these people, it's not enough.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm just surprised, that's all.
I take your order now? -I'd like the guinea fowl.
-Same for me.
Are you sure you make the right decision? -Why? What's wrong with it? -No.
Are you sure you make the right decision? Yes, that will be two guinea fowl.
Thank you, Tanya, that will be all.
(AS TIME GOES BYPLAYING ON PIANO) Isn't that the song that was playing the first time that we -But there's no way Tony could know that.
-You'll be amazed at what Tony can find out.
I bet she doesn't let him No, you've definitely got the edge with that stuff.
Rebecca looks so busy, I bet we could sneak off work early for a drink.
I like the way you're thinking, but if it's okay, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go and check up on something first.
I'll catch you up later.
Mr Wiltshire? -I don't get it.
Why do you keep going up there? -He's really not such a bad old boy.
And I know what it's like to be locked in a room with no one to talk to.
What does that mean? We've been together two months now, haven't we? And you don't look as if you're going anywhere, so there's probably a few things you should know about me.
-Now I'm worried.
-Don't worry.
I'll tell you everything later, okay? -Charlie.
Tony.
-Guv? -Could you call the -I've already done it, sir.
You're booked on the next flight to Charles de Gaulle International.
A car will be here to pick you up in an hour.
-It's almost as if you're keen to see me leave.
-We never like to see anybody leave, sir.
Call the airline back.
Check if there's any empty seats on the same flight, would you? -Adrian! -Sorry to interrupt.
-I've booked a car to the airport and I -This is Mark Thorne, my husband.
Adrian McBride, my Well, my boss.
Happy anniversary.
Please sit.
-Where are you flying to? -Paris.
-Have you been? -A few times.
But we're not very keen on the French, are we, darling? So why are you leaving so soon? I thought you wanted to see more of the hotel.
I think I've seen enough.
Ah, you'll breeze through the follow-up inspection.
The hotel is a credit to you, Rebecca.
The hours she puts in, that's hardly a surprise.
If you've got any changes to make, that's down to you.
I'll go along with anything you decide.
Enjoy your meal.
Oh, that was great.
-I only wish I could take credit for it myself.
-Maybe I won't sack them all after all.
Hey, let's have another few drinks in the bar.
-Listen, I really need to get back to -Of course.
Look, why don't you go and order a couple more drinks, -and I'll come and join you when I can.
-Don't be long.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) -Won't they be missing you downstairs? -Oh, that's okay.
I finished my shift five minutes ago.
Look, Charlie, I You know I appreciate what you're doing for me, but you won't be safe here.
Well, actually, inside a hotel is probably one of the safest places you could be.
Each room's fitted with a smoke alarm, sprinkler system, double locks, reinforced doors, emergency exit signs that light up if there's a power cut.
Even the glass, that's bullet-proof.
I'd challenge you to find anywhere safer than here.
-Hello.
-Security, please.
You have a reservation for me.
Mr Graham.
Certainly, sir.
If I could just get a few details from you.
Of course.
Were the conference facilities to your satisfaction, Mr Green? Oh, yes, thank you.
Hope we didn't cause too much mess or damage.
You know how raucous these things can get.
Yes.
They were quite a rowdy bunch, weren't they? Just in case you ever need anything.
Technical support, lunch, a weekend at a Trekkie convention Thank you, sir.
I shall keep it with me always.
Safe journey.
Left a couple of bags upstairs.
I'lljust run up and get them.
I deserve at least two stars for not just kicking him in the balls.
Your room is on the 5th floor, number 503.
Thank you.
Would you like assistance with your luggage, Mr Graham? This is all I have.
-Scores? -Seventy-five each.
Call it a draw? Could you spare us a moment of your time, please, sir? -Of course.
-We have some security issues in the hotel today, and we're asking guests if they can help us with some spot checks, please.
-Anything I can do to help.
-Thank you.
Where's the briefcase? Thank you.
(ALARM BEEPING) Come on! Charlie! -Charlie.
-Charlie! The definition of the word "luxury" reads, "Something that is an indulgence rather than a necessity.
" Personally, I think indulgence is a necessity.
If you never indulge yourself, you'll never know what it is to be taken care of.
To be pampered.
To be spoilt.
To be inebriated.
To be flattered.
And this should not be exclusive to the rich and the famous.
Whoever you are and whatever your means, every now and then it's important to put your feet up and let someone else take the strain.
You owe it to yourself.